Two days ago all I had to respond to was Neil's desperate grasp for yankee bashing, his mind now fully seized with madness by the faint images of a 2nd string catcher from Kentucky simultaneously tip toeing out of the batters box and drop kicking the braves into a decade of hanging NL East, feel the pride, championship banners (and his transition to the dark side complete), but now the bar has been raised.
Zahn the elder's rumination on MTV's Next makes statistics sing like it hasn't since Abraham de Moivre dropped The Doctrine of Chance back in 1718. http://www.unisanet.unisa.edu.au/10920/statist.htm
I'm looking forward to Easy Z using Gauss' work in differential geometry to explain how Felix Fermin was robbed of the 1988 AL Player of the Month Award for May.
In honor of the blog's founding freres and for no good reason at all I will briefly recount my recent trip to that haven of incentivized guesswork, the tantalizing clank of tokens falling into somebody's grandma's plastic cup, and the ever tasteful, north of the thong tatoo of something meaningful in chinese that is sure to stoke the ardor of your new abusive boyfriend who will remark upon it favorably while you guys hook up in the bathroom cuz like whatever we were fucking drunk, or as you know it, Atlantic City.
I guess there are three possible outcomes for the non-gambling, non drinking, possessing an ever shrinking comfort zone visitor to AC. There is 1) try a bit of gambling and lose (bad), 2) get stuck in a lame theme bar buying 4 dollar sodas (worse), and 3) paying $50 to watch Bruce Smirnoff at the Comedy Stop in the Tropicana (having your legs cut off by your jedi master and slowly drifting into lava). Luckily I only had to endure 2 and 3. Understand this, Smirnoff means well. He lives in Miami, and he's tried internet dating and viagra. He knows his name is a brand of vodka. He thinks the world is just crazy sometimes; he just doesn't have any idea as to how convey these facts with any hint of jocularity or irony. Think about it this way, the Smirnoff formula for F (funny) =H (linguistic ability) + U (universality of human expression) X P (perceptiveness) divided by S (the amount of Smirnoffs in the room -1). In any case it's over now. Is there any way we can add ms paint artwork to the blog, or it verboten?
4 comments:
I swear to God I would kill Jim Leyritz if I ever met him. I can think of nobody more deserving than that swine.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Thank you for that wonderful link! Just think, I would have looked like that 150 years ago.
I'm sorry John, I reread your last paragraph 4 times and I stillcan'tmake any sense of it.
Why would you divide by S? The more smirnoffs in the room, the funnier it should be, no?
OK, enough Nerd talk.
Neil,
Kirk Gibson would be more deserving.
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