Let's go to prison

I had this big long blog written up about the candidates but I think I'm just going to sum it up with a line from the great movie "Let's go to prison." Don't trust anyone!!! These guys and gal are all liars and scumbags. Obama, Hillary, McCain, and Romney? No. Seriously, is there a candidate that you trust? Maybe Huckabee? But Huckabee scares me when he is not joking around. Maybe Paul? Yes.

Paul is right on point on many many things and seems to be more up my alley than any other candidate. Less government involvment, humble foreign policy, balanced budget, and less taxes. More Libertarian than Republican. He did run under the libertarian party in 88. He is really interesting and did a fine job with the 6 minutes he was given tonight on CNN. I will be throwing my vote his way come super Tuesday.

Political Update

OK, where to start after a groundbreak South Carolina Primary?

1. Let's start with the Democrats. The strategy for team Clinton has been exposed - somehow frame Obama as the "black" candidate after the win is SC; by doing this you make the old-line Democrats feel uncomfortable voting for him...and therefore have them reluctantly vote for Hillary.
Proof: Team Clinton is effectively comparing Obama's win to Jesse Jackson's win in 1984 and 1988 in SC. He was widely considered a miorntiy bloc candidate. It's hard to envision any union leader (who may be white) supporting Jackson; Hillary is trying to subconsciously put that analogy in the union leader's brain this time. And yes, this is subtle racism at its finest.

But will the plan work? Two things re going against them:
1) The media - and other analysts - are calling it like it is. I think the Clinton's may have been counting on a protective veil around them - the media won't truly call them out for this, will they? - but they are. Chris Matthews, among others, are doing it. This subtle racist strategy is being attacked publicly. This has to be unexpected.
2) Ted Kennedy.
Look, if anyone represents the old guard of the Democratic party, it's him. The Democartic party of the 1980s which included labor, ethnics and low-middle-class economic voters all joined together under a Kennedy-led liberalism (that ultimately failed). (Remember, there weren't too many limosine liberals back then - they are more popular now (think George Soros)). But that wing and alliance is still very strong, especially in a Democratic party.
To have Ted support Obama is a landmark statement by this old lion. Ted is envisioning that the old guard can get back together again under Obama. I have no idea if he has a personal vendetta against the Clintons - but he stuck a fork in the back of the Clinton legacy with this statement today.

I think that endorsement may have been the turning point of the Democratic primary.

For the Republicans:

Rudy's strategy may have seemed sound at the beginning - but now it just seemes foolish and naive. The original strategy was to skip the first 4 contests, then swoop in after about a month and win a big state over a crowded, fractured field and - voila! - get carried to the nomination.

But one month is an eternity in politics. The media - and the party leaders - will not allow a vacuum for that long. One person - or possibly two - will be named the frontrunner regardless of circumstances. In this case, the wisdom is that McCain is a flawed frontrunner with Romney having a good chance in Super Tuesday and beyond.

The storyline is now set after the first few primaries - there is no room (or even precendent) for a Giuliani-type story, a candidate literally coming from nowhere. This is a candidate who has finished 6th in a few primaries, behind nutjob Ron Paul. (I kid, I kid! really!....well, no not really...)

Give Rudy an A for an original game plan, but this is like joining a craps table with $50 when the table limit has already been raised from $5 to $15. Should have been here at 9 am, Rudy.

Look Ahead - Week 2

By popular request - the fun look at the projected games for the NCAA Tournament, with fun for everyone!

The Don Hershey Special (only 1 part this week)
(8) Purdue vs (9) Oklahoma

Layup's 5-12 Upset Special
(5) Pittsburgh vs (12) Illinois St

The Gus Johnson Special
(7) Louisville vs (10) Ohio St

The Eric Zahn Ohio Underdog Special
(5) Arizona vs (12) Kent St

The Wiz Heart Attack Game
(8) Notre Dame vs (9) Clemson

Layup's $500 on the Money Line Game
(3) Indiana vs (14) Marist

The 7-10 Game No One Cares About
(7) Connecticut vs (10) Rhode Island

The 9:00 am on Thursday first upset of the Tournament Game
(4) Wisconsin vs (13) Oral Roberts

The Wiz ACC Lock of the Week game
(5) Marquette vs (12) Miami

The RRD Viriginia Lock of the Week game
(4) Drake vs (13) Virginia Commonwealth

The Eric Zahn game no one cares about except him
(7) Baylor vs (10) Dayton

The Leland Owens/John the Pai Gow Dealer game
(7) Florida vs (10) UNLV

The Kermit Pollari "if all 8 of you are going one way, I know which way I'm going" game
(8) Southern Cal vs (9) Texas A&M

The Eric Zahn Unload on a Random Over/Under Game
(2) Washington St vs (15) Austin Peay

Quick Thoughts

1. Do you think big fans of snowboarding and snowmobiling view the announcers of the X games just like how we view McCarver and Theisman for baseball and football? I was thinking about that the other night when I was watching it thinking that these guys were pretty informative, but they must be killing true fans as it seemed pretty basic.

2. Jeff and I played some golf on Saturday and we were paired up with two of the worst golfers on the planet. The one guy tee'd it up at least twice on each hole and I would of easily of bet on my little nephew Freddy or Carol to beat this guy even with giving this dick a shot a hole. After the guy hit his first drive BEHIND himself on hole number one, Jeff looked at me and said "This is going to really test your patience. I bet you can't go 9 holes without blowing up." I came close a couple of times, but kept quiet. Let's go back to hole number 7. I was about to hit my 7 iron on a par three and the guy's cell phone rang, I pulled back from my shot, waiting for him to turn off the ringer....waiting....waiting....oh, you want to take that call? Sure no problem. So after I pushed my 7 iron pin high to the right, I approached my chip and numbnuts #2 walked right behind me in the middle of my backswing. Then asshole #1 proceeded do jumping jacks in my line and then sat up about 5 feet directly behind me to watch me miss my 7 footer, losing the hole to Jeff. It took everything in my power not to bury my putter in this guys ass, and it took everything in Jeff's power not to bust up laughing. I would of been worse if these two didn't continue to do this type of thing to the both of us, so it sort of evened out. On hole number 11, Jeff was in the weeds and he was trying to punch out, and the other guy was on the hole next to us trying as well to get back into our fairway. I was watching both of them and it seemed as if they were both going to hit at the same time since they didn't see each other. I was going to yell over to both of them, but it was too late. The guy ended up wacking the ball into one of those tee box wood planks and the ball shot back at him, nailed him in the head, and then went about 50 yards into the brush. Classic. I doubled over in the fairway just laughing. We ended up playing the entire round with them, with the one guy saying "I hope we didn't hold you up too much." Um...thanks for saying something on the last fucking hole.

3. Columbus Marathon in November. Be there or be square.

Comedy and Politics

Two quick things as we digest the South Carolina results:

1) A cartoon representation of the Republican race, which I think is pretty accurate:





















2) The quote of the week came from this unidentified columnist about Bill Clinton, who is now a main focus point in the 2008 Presidential campaign:



"Bill Clinton is like a pathetic guy in his mid-30's who still goes to high school basketball games by himself."

STOP THE PRESSES

My new favorite web site. I'm seriously considering an account...

http://www.intrade.com/

Is it too early? I say no

Went on to espn.com and looked at the projected NCAA Tournament field and posible matchups. Wow.....some good ones are out there to look forward to....

The Don Hershey Special (Part 1)
(8) Arizona vs (9) Purdue

The Don Hershey Special (Part 2)
(5) Mississippi vs (12) Akron

The Gus Johnson Special
(6) Xavier vs (11) Ohio State

Layup's 5-12 Upset Special
(5) Dayton vs (12) San Diego St

The Eric Zahn "I need a reason to root against Gonzaga" game
(6) Gonzaga vs. (11) Cleveland St.

The Wiz Heart Attack Game
(7) Clemson vs (10) Illinois St

Layup's $1000 on the Money Line Game
(3) Wisconsin vs (14) Cal St- Northridge

The 8-9 game no one cares about
(8) Villanova vs (9) Rhode Island

The 12:00 pm on Thursday first upset of the day
(6) Baylor vs (11) South Alabama

*added games *

The Wiz ACC Lock of the Day
(7) Notre Dame vs (10) Boston College

The RRD "I need one Virginia team to bet on" game
(4) Marquette vs (13) Virginia Commonwealth

The Leland Owens/John the Pai Gow Dealer Lock of the Week
(7) Kansas St vs (10) Providence

The Eric Zahn Unload on a Random Over/Under Game
(2) Georgetown vs (15) Cornell

Why McCain is a Democratic Nightmare

OK, folks, can we please be adults and talk about what no one wants to say?
The way this is all setting up, John McCain is the worst nightmare for the Democratic party. Why? I'll tell you.

First, let's talk about the possible Democratic nominee. If Obama is nominated....do you see him winning a single southern state? Do you think he has a chance in Virginia? Tennessee? Alabama? Florida?

There is a significant non-zero percentage of people that 1) may have voted for a Democrat in the past and 2) will not vote for a black person. I'm not sure what that percentage is - 3%? 5% - but it's out there.

I think there is a small, but still non-zero, percentage of those people if Hillary is nominated. 2-3%?

So - the Republicans can nominate anyone - me, a banana peel - and I think they start with a base of 100 electoral votes.

In the rest of the swing states like Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, McCain's modertation will be viewed as an asset. A moderate Republican like him will play much better in Pennsylvania than someone lke Romney or Thompson. See Rick Santorum, 2006.

In summary, if the Democrats nominate Hillary or Barack, it seems the South is lined up again with the R presidential candidate. Now that the South is lined up, the Republicans need a candidate to appeal to the independents of the nation, and McCain is that person. I think McCain is a winner in November barring any major slipups or a third-party entry from the right.

You choose

Whose decision is worse. The editor of Golfweek for greenlighting this mag cover or me greenlighting "Fit Club" in my office.

Yes, I caved under the pressure of 33 employees. No company sponsorship and they have to weigh themselves on the sidewalk right outside of our parking lot so it is not on company property. I will soon be joining Golfweek's editor in the unemployment line shortly.

Side notes: Messages I need to get out to people but I'm too lazy to call or I can't find their email:
1. Micah please give me a call when you get out here and I'll stop by for some drinks. Newport is only about 15 minutes away.
2. Wiz, you are a punk for renegging on the Herron vs Slocum wager. Classy.
3. Mer- If you ever need a partner to go to Vegas, just call and I will book a room and meet you out there. Or if you need to go to Windsor, be wary of the Cheetah club on the way back. I got a lap dance from some girl who had bandages all over her body. Not good times.
4. Don- Its a one bottle surcharge for each shipment. Just wanted to let you know.
5. Eric- Happy belated B-Day.
6. RRD- We will crush you in the golf pool.
7. Big West Conference and the Stockmarket- F you. At this point I don't know who is costing me more money since I have taken two torpedos to my hull and we are taking on major water.
8. Sportsguy- That might of been the worst article ever. It pained me to read it and then was pleasantly surprised to read the last paragraph about his dad. Its good to see that people outside of my circle of friends believe in the gooch. I will be laying money on the Chargers because of this.

Scientology is not just a Prince record

http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress.

This isn't quite as nuts as the youtube of the guy who is turning into a tree, which is as every bit as hp lovecraft meets maury povich that it sounds, but when maverick starts straight dropping knowledge from the moon it gets pretty freaky. And sure it's not really sporting to rip on people for having different belief systems, or overusing abbreviations, but when that belief system is a combination of ad hoc clinical psychology and praying to jawas, you've kind of made your bed.

 I don't know if it's the glassy-eyed, third recihesque certainty, the maniacal laughing, the celebrity train wreck on video aspect, or the casual interspersing of words like sp's  and criminon into everyday speech, but whoa, is this shit ripe for the internet or what? 

Layup, I don't think there's a job other than house hubby where ripping one is considered appropriate. And really if you have to reposition your leg to launch like a naval vessel circling about to return fire there's no way to excuse yourself.

You must have a gambling problem if.....

My dream last night consisted of me playing golf with Heath Slocum - my pick for the Bob Hope tournament this week in our golf pool. Mr. Slocum was telling me that yes, even though he shot a 68 today, his shoulder isn't feeling very good at all. In our casual round, he hit one out-of-bounds, and then delcared the pain was too much for him. He cracked open a beer and said "that's it, I'm calling the Hope and withdrawing".

I woke up at 3:37 am in a cold sweat.

Wandering Mind

I really wish I had a wire hooked up to me and the blog during my interviews so everyone could read what goes through my mind during these horrendous interviews. Below is what I was thinking about during this afternoons interview.

1. I want a position where I could fart in a meeting and nobody would say anything about it because they were too afraid or I was just that powerful. While I was thinking what position that would be, I realized that it couldn't be CEO of any company. So I would have to start up my own company and then hire Carol, Eric, my mom, Jay, Lee, Wiz, Jon, the dude, and every other friend and family member.
2. Then I was thinking about what this poor girls reaction would be that was interviewing for a supervisor job would be if I put my feet up on my desk and just let one rip. I started to giggle, and then then one manager who works for me saw me giggle and had one of those "Pay attention asshole" looks.
3. Do you know how hard it is to try and look 90 degrees to your left to check the PGA leaderboard while asking a question to the applicant? Very tough. And do you know how hard it is to hold in your emotion when you made a Heath Slocum (me) vs Tim Herron (wiz) bet and watch Tim Herron climb the leaderboard at the end of the day.
4. Very tough to text message as well. Think I just got caught by the applicant texting Carol.
5. What song would I sing for American Idol? I think I would go with a Heart song to show off my great high pitch range.
6. How low will the market go? 11,000?
7. I love boobs
8. Does this applicant (who was a women) remind me of William Dafoe, Elvira, or Skelator? I can't decide.
9. Oreo vs Chips a Hoy? Couldn't decide.

Republican race

Could we see 5 different winners in 5 different states? Romney in Michigan, Thompson in SC, and Giuliani in Florida? A stretch, but even if 4 different candidates win what the hell happens then? Chineese fire drill for Super Tuesday? I might have to take off of work just to watch 8 hours of Chris Matthews playing hardball.

And did anyone see Hillary on Meet the Press? Thought that it was very very poor. No straight answers, very evasive and mainly consisted of "You took that out of context" or "Please let me finish". Thought that Newt was very interesting on George S show on ABC. Who would of thought that both of them could be civil to each other after what happened with Newt and Clinton.

Top Ten People/Items I hate because of the weekend

Before I get going, congrats to Bucksuperstereo on his second kid. Now onto the people I hate...

1. Rutgers- I will eventually make my money back from that terrible lose at my bachelor party. There is no way in hell I will ever wager on them again. If I see that I can wager against them in volleyball, I will do it. Thank you for collapsing against Louisville over the weekend. Ugh...they still make me so mad.
2. Charles Howell III- Fuck you. That's all I have. We pick you to win the Sony Open and you throw that clunker out there and we are now in 74th place. Oh and I bet that you would bet Rory Sabatini and that worked out oh so well.
3. Halftime shows- Did anyone see the ad for the VH1 halftime show during the season premiere of Rock of Love? I found it interesting that Michael Strahan is hosting it. Hmmmm, I guess no one thought that he might actually make the superbowl. This is what we call the reverse gooch. Take the Giants and the points next week.
4. Jerry Jones- What the fuck was this little event before the game where he purchased plane tickets for the NFC Championship game or some crazy shit like that? I didn't hear about it until the game already kicked off and my money was already in on the Cowboys. Boy I would of loved to of known that before the game. This is what we call the ultimate gooch. And why would he buy plane tickets? It would of been a home game anyway.
5. Ben Martin- This little prick kept on saying that the Pats would cover the spread late in the 4th quarter. After he said that it was a lock, Wes Welker dropped the 3rd down pass from Brady. I did not watch the games with him on Sunday, nor will I watch any future games with him.
6. Ryan Seacrest look a like Ref in the UC Irvine vs UCSB Game- Went to the Irvine-UC Santa Barbara game on Thursday night since it was on the way home from work and I had money on the Gauchos. What an experience!!!! It ended on a very sour note when the UCSB player went up for a jumper with 1 second remaining in the game and got killed, but there was no call as the Seacrest Ref stated that he had all ball. To boot he then stated it was Irvine's ball. Umm....how does that work? No foul since he got all ball that went out of bounds, but then you give it to Irvine. Someone look into this guys bank account. Then I had to hear about 75 Asian Irvine students chant "Not in our House". Ugh....
7. Browns Fans- Yes, I know its was the Football Gods that punished the Colts for resting their players against the Titans, but just shut up now. I can't wait until you get into that situation where you have an option to either rest your players or not, and you decide not to and one of your top players go down with an injury. Just remember all of this nonsense now, since I will be making sure that you all keep the same stance on this issue.
8. Norv Turner- I'm losing so much money on you right now as I'm expecting you to lose. Now what do I do? Do I jump on the bandwagon and take the Chargers and the points next week? I'm so confused. Actually I will take the Pats -14 and the Chargers moneyline.
9. Andrew Bynum- I'm sure only Jay, Eric, and I know who this kid is, but he went down last night early in the Lakers-Memphis game. Lakers up by 12 and then he goes out with an injury and Mr. Kwame Brown comes in to finish out the game. The lead magically disappears and the Lakers win despite depending on Brown to make one free throw at the end of the game. Kwame is a 38% free throw shooter. He has to be the biggest bust and involved in one of the worst trades ever. I'm expecting the Lakers to pick up the slack tonight against Seattle and then start to collapse depending on how long Bynum is out for.
10. Terps- I need Lee next to me when I make my bets. Whenever I try to do some stupid bet like take the Terps moneyline against VT, he should stab me with a fork. What happened at the end of this game?

Oh yes, there is justice in the world

Well, for Browns fans, the weekend's results couldn't get much better.

Of course, we have the Colts losing to the Chargers. As you all know, the Colts had a bye last week and did not try to win in week 17, sitting Manning and the rest of the starters after a quarter and a half. More importantly, however, they failed to use timeouts to extend the game when the Titans had the ball on 4th down at the end of the game....Al & John both thought this was "peculiar".

(The failureof the Colts to play hard and win vs. the Titans cost the Browns a playoff spot).

Well, now, sweet justice. Multiple media reports opine that the Colts "looked rusty...after their bye week". Well, folks, it wasn't just one week of rest- it was two.

And when you don't try to win and stay sharp....it comes back to bite you. This is the second time this has happened with the Colts (see Colts/Steelers, Jan 06). You'd think the Colts would have learned, but noooooo......

and I am happy to see them get knocked out in the first round. Good job, Dungy!

And then we have the Jacksonville/NE game. From Peter King:

Goat of the Week
Jacksonville WR Dennis Northcutt. New England led 21-14 early in the fourth quarter Saturday night, but the Jags were driving relentlessly behind better-than-expected quarterback David Garrard. Northcutt ran a post between two New England defenders, and Garrard hit him perfectly at the Patriots 2-yard line. You couldn't throw the ball any better -- right on Northcutt's hands. One problem. Northcutt clearly had alligator arms on the play, fearing the big hit from the New England safety, and the ball bounced off his hands, incomplete. Instead of tying the game at 21 and giving the Patriots something to think about down the stretch, the Jags had to settle for a field goal to close within 21-17. They never caught up.


HA HA
HA HA HA
HEE HEE HEE

If you couldn't see this one coming, well then, you must not have watched the Browns/Steelers 2002 playoff game - when we had a 3rd and 5 with about 2:20 left in the game and we had the lead. A first down here - Pit had no timeouts - and we would run the clock out.

Holcomb goes back to pass - Northcutt is open in the flat! - perfect pass....drop.

The rest is history.

No returns, Jacksonville.

Best line of the day...

from the National Review blog, talking about the NH primary and various voting motives and factors:


By the way, don't count out the destabilization factor. I have a Democrat neighbor who registers as an independent only in order to damage whoever the Republican frontrunner is. In '92 and '96, he voted Buchanan. 2000, McCain. He says the problem this year is he's not sure exactly whom he's supposed to be voting against.


Ain't that the truth.
I think this blog - with myself and Derek being the main editors - should issue an endorsement in the coming days.

And the Hillary crack-up. Wow! Fun to see, and it's very, very hard to envision how she comes back with "change" being the main item the voters want...but Hillary is on stage with her husband, Wesley Clark and Madeleine Albright. Should we adopt "Jesus Jones" as our campaign songwriter, too?

Really???? No!!!

Is this true? Is Romeo really demanding a contract extension? If it was me, I would say hell no, and then force him to quit. But that's just me.

Weekend Gambling Recap

Eric and I were trying to decide who had the worse loss of the weekend:

• Eric - Losing a 4 team parlay on Canisius. They lost by 50 points.
• Derek - Losing a 4 team parlay on Bowling Green. They lost their bowl game by 56 points.

Ugly, ugly losses. Eric and I have started calling these 4-10 team parlays "Lotto Tickets". Its great when we talk about this. "So Eric, did you buy a lotto ticket tonight?" Well yes Derek I did. Matter of fact I have two $1 lotto tickets going tonight. The success rates for these are mighty mighty low. Several times Eric and I have gotten the complete card incorrect.

On the bright side, both of us did fairly well. I nailed the Steelers, TN under, and Seattle but screwed the pooch on TB. Man, I thought they were going to play better.

And the one saving grace for me lately has been the Lakers. Man, they are almost a solid lock when playing against any Eastern Conference team other than the Celtics.

Entered into two Golf pools. Pick one guy for each tournament, but you can only use that one guy once during the entire season. Eric and I are splitting the cost for both of the pools. The first pool with Wiz is nice. You can pick your guy right before the tournament. The second one with RRD is a lot tougher. You actually have to turn all your picks in now for the entire year. WOW!!! Talk about being clueless. And yes I did watch about 30 minutes of the Golf channel yesterday to see how our pick Justin Leonard was doing. This might be a lowpoint in my gambling career.

Let's celebrate in the streets Mr. Khan and friends

Well finally some good news at work. My two employee lawsuits were dismissed. That's what $500 an hour defense attorneys will do. So everyone go out and dance a little jig and fire their guns and celebrate a rare win for the big guys in corporate America!!!! Jon is that your crazy guy in the back there? He looks very familiar.

HR Nightmare

So several of the popular girls in my office come up to me today and asks "Can we do a Bigger Loser Contest in the office for the next 10 weeks. You can send out an email and get everyone involved." As I'm picturing in my head how this would work at the office, I asked them what would be the possible downfalls. They couldn't come up with anything, so I had to outline it for them.

1. An employee who decides to join the contest gets ridiculed on the scale resulting in them going berserk in the office and killing everyone.


2. An employee who doesn't choose to participate gets asked why they aren't participating.


3. An employee on the team gets yelled at for not losing enough weight and getting called a "Fat Pig" since their team lost.

Either way, I will probably be put on the employee lawsuit in any of these cases and will waste another full week sitting in depositions.

Quick Iowa Post

OK, the caucuses are tonight. The only sure thing for tonight is that there will be a surprise - either someone is overrated now or someone will come out of the blue for a surprise showing.

The current thoughts are:
- On the D side, it's a three way race between Obama, Edwards and Clinton. No one else is close.
- Edwards has to win to stay alive. He's got so much invested here; if he comes in 2nd or 3rd, it's just about over. If he can't win here, where?
- Obama needs to be Hillary, whether it is for 1st-2nd or 2nd-3rd. This shows he is a viable option to Hillary.
- Hillary needs to be close,preferably 1st or 2nd. This is her worst state - if she can weather this storm, she's fine. If she finishes a distant 3rd (like, for instance, Obama 37, Edwards 30, Hillary 25), it may not be the end - but a big shakeup is needed and Obama is now the national frontrunner.

On the R side:
- It's a two man race for first between Romney and Huckabee, and an important race for 3rd.
If Romney wins, you will never see Huckabee again.
If Huckabee wins in a squeaker, Huckabee gains some momentum but Romney stays in the game as a possible moderate option to the religious Huckabee.
If Huckabee wins by 5 or more over Romney, Romney will lose all momentum and McCain/Guiliani will get his support.

Who gets third?
If Thompson, his campaign is revitalized and it is possible he can win (dream scenario for him: Huckabee 35, Romney 22, Thompson 17....)
If McCain, he can now be seen as the option vs. Huckabee
I guess there is a possibility that Paul could come in 3rd (like....Huckabee 37, Romney 29, Paul 15, McCain 13...). If so, that means it is a two man race between Huckabee and Romney.

If one of those two - McCain or Thompson - fall behind Paul, that's a problem.

One law of politics to watch out for: every four years, a candidate (Obama, Paul) banks on support from "the youth" or "the first-time participants". The support never materializes. I saw this firsthand with Dean in 2004 ("All the college kids are energized for him!). What did it get him? 3rd.

If people say turnout is very very high, then Obama wins (and may win easily).
If turnout is mediocre, taht helps Hillary (and Edwards).

New Year's in a nutshell

Remember the game "Operation"? Of course you do.
Bzzzzzzz. Butterfingers!

Have you ever played it drunk? I did, when in college. I think it took the whole group 20 minutes to get the funny bone out.

Now -fast forward to New Year's Eve 2007,. We are over Don and Michelle's. We are greeted as soon as we come in with a shot of raspberry vodka. Over the next 90 minutes or so, I had at least 3 glasses of red wine. And I was just starting to eat dinner. So at that point, I was a little light headed.....

Freddie starts to scream. After we calm him down, we find out that he has a sliver in his foot.

Don gets us some tweezers. Janice is holding Freddie, and then she turns to me....

"well, do you want to try?"

Oh yeah, that's great.....trying to pull a tweezer out of my son's foot (while he is screaming bloody murder) while boozed up on wine and vodka.

It's amazing I didn't accidentally pierce him 5 times in the foot....needless to say, we did not get it out that night.

Happy New Year

Hope everyone had a great New Year's. Mine was sort of uneventful. We were so lazy that Carol and I talked with Ben and his girlfriend by phone, despite Ben living no more than 2 minutes apart. And that's walking distance, not driving distance. Yes, we are super lazy.

While I wanted to post this yesterday, I ended up getting too drunk to type and finish it. I actually had to change most of this evening as it really didn't make any sense.

• Is Don a snob? To answer his question from his post below, no. Let me tell you one thing I now know about him. He knows everything about wine, liquor, and food. When this guy recommends something, listen to it and take it. When we were over his house a couple of months ago we had this port which was excellent and I can't stop thinking about it. And to think back 3 years ago in Vegas when I sat next to him and everyone turned to me to pick the wine, and I picked some cheap Pinot and he was kind enough not to embarrass me. Very classy. So when I see Don post about Riedel glasses and I look in my liquor cabinet and see Riedel glasses as well, I'm beyond pleased with myself.
• Went out with Carol's best friends cousin two weeks ago. He just turned 21 and a bunch of us took him out for his 21st birthday. WOW!!!! I finally realized how obnoxious I was back when I was that young. The kid came up to me and Carol about 5-6 time during 11pm-1am to tell us that he loved us. He stated that he could hold his liquor and that he could do a shitload of shots. As I was trying to watch the Madrid-Barcelona game (wagered on it), he came over to me to talk some shit on me as I wasn't drinking enough I guess. I wasn't going to get involved in ordering him shots until he made this comment. After a quick conversation with our waitress at the Irish pub in the Gaslamp, I had a 3 wiseman and 4 horseman in front of him. Let's just say that I had to change the guy out of his clothes at 3:30 since he was puking all over himself....in his sleep...in someone elses bathroom at the Marriott. I called Eric afterwards and asked "Was I that stupid when I was that age?" He said yes, but Janice said no. Hmmmm, I don't know who to believe. I'm siding with Eric. Let me apologize to Steve, Kermit, and Don if I came off like as ass when I was younger.
• I am now 0-182 for my "Locks of the Month/Year/Week". God what happened to the Terps. Eric, Lee, and I were just talking about how to get comps at the sportsbook and I think Lee mentioned that "if we all liked a game, we would then just need to pool all the money together to make one wager so that we can get noticed. Actually, if we all agreed, then we should all go the other way." How true is this. Ugh.
• This one is for Curr. Was at a bar in Long Beach a couple of weeks ago. I had to take a piss, so I went to the restroom and it was one of those single ones where everyone shares and there is only a toilet but no urinal. For some reason I left the toilet seat down and ended up missing my spot a couple of times. I never do this, but for some reason I was just feeling lazy. Well guess what happened. Yup, after a couple of wings, I had to take a dump. So not remembering what I did about one hour earlier, I head to the bathroom and see pee all over the seat. "Who the fuck did this?" It didn't hit me until I was finished that it was me who did this. Ugh.
• Brown Fans- Trade Anderson. His success this year was more of a by-product of a great O-Line, above average TE and WRs, a coordinator who opened it up a little, and a decent running game. Quinn will do just fine. Get your first rounder back.
• I really don't know who I'm going to vote for. Eric calls the Republican race exciting. I call it pitiful. The reason why it is so close is due to the fact that none of them stand out. I guess I'll vote of McCain.
• Any thoughts on those new Gatorade commercials with Jeter, Wade, Maria S, and Manning? Gives me goose bumps, but don't they have the wrong people? Wade is 2 years removed from a championship and Jeter is 7 years removed. Was that a highlight from the Tigers series? Come on Gatorade.
• Trying to get back into shape. And the only way that I can stay motivated is to wager on it. Carol and I have a sizable wager on weekly milestones. The rules, rewards, and tracking systems are as detailed and long as Eric's Wednesday Night College Basketball Parlay Card.

Historical Parelles II

This is my first post to Flotsam and Jetsam. Thank you EricZ for the invitation to blog. Now you may be sorry that you extended me the invitation.

I am writing in response to EricZ’s December 28th posting regarding historical parallels. While I applaud EricZ’s effort in looking to history for parallels to our current world, I disagree with the one he identifies in this instance: Bhutto (2007) = Ferdinand (1914).

There are several differences in the two assassinations that prevent the drawing of parallels. First let us discuss some history.

In 1914 Austria-Hungary blamed the sovereign state of Serbia for the assassination of the Arch Duke. This led to the issuance of an ultimatum to Serbia by Austria-Hungary that, in essence, required Serbia to forgo its sovereignty. When Serbia refused to comply with one point of the ultimatum (and only one point) Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia. Russia mobilized its troops in support of Serbia. The mobilization of the Russian troops forced Germany, Austria-Hungary’s ally, to put the Schlieffen plan into operation, which called for a quick strike against and defeat of Russia’s ally France in the event of a war with Russia. The point of this was to prevent a two front war (A two front war resulted because the Fatherland’s generals charged with the execution of the plan failed to follow it to the letter, weakened its forces in the West by prematurely sending some East, and got bogged down at the Marne River. Damn you von Moltke). In executing the Schlieffen Plan, Germany crossed through Belgium whose neutrality England guaranteed as part of the treaties ending the Napoleonic Wars, thus ensuring England’s entry into the war.

The current situation is Pakistan is different in many ways. First, it appears that there is no sovereign state to blame for this assassination and hence, no forthcoming ultimatum that will lead to war. There are no Great Powers lined up in support of the assassin or the assassin’s supporters. Additionally, there is no tangled and confused system of alliances that would lead to Great Powers waging war against other Great Powers. If China or Russia were backing the assassination, my opinion on the appropriateness of an historical comparison would be different

Further, this assassination is not likely to impact the governance of Pakistan. Musharraf will not relinquish control of Pakistan – ever. Bhuto may have been a voice for change but she would never be permitted to attain power. Moreover, the U.S. would be wise to support Musharraf’s hold on power. I hope that one lesson learned in Iraq is that the best way to keep divergent religious and political factions under control is with a ruthless and cruel dictatorship. Musharraf can fit this bill nicely for years to come in Pakistan. Notwithstanding his inability to bring the “Tribal Areas” near the border of Afghanistan under control, he has been decisive in combating radical Islam in areas of his country that his military controls. The removal of a rival to Musharraf may in fact lead to more stability in Pakistan rather that result in its destabilization.

Wow … This is fun.

The 1986 U.S. Open

Does anyone remember this major? The 1986 U S Open was played at Shinnecock Hills in tough conditions. At one point in the final round, 9 golfers were tied for the lead. (The nine included eventual winner Ray Floyd, Greg Norman, Chip Beck, Mark McCumber, Lee Trevino, Lanny Wadkins, Payne Stewart,Hal Sutton, and Ben Crenshaw).

Well, I logged on Monday morning and saw this on drudge:

"Rasmussen: National Numbers for the GOP Primary:
McCain 17%
Huckabee 16%
Romney 16%
Giuliani 15%
Thompson 12%"

I have no idea who is going to emerge. I think you could put together a plausible scenario for anyone here - with maybe the exception of Thompson - to burst out of the pack with three birdies/states and win the nomination.

it's amazing....about this time, right before Iowa and NH, you have a pretty good idea of who the two or three "serious" candidates are that are actually fighting for the nomination. I think at least 4 -and maybe 5 (Fred) - can win and more importantly seriously believe themselves that they can win.

On the Democratic side, it's more of a traditional Masters fight. Tiger (Hillary) leads by 1 over Mickelson (Obama) as we head for the turn, with Els (Edwards) 3 back and no one else within 6. Edwards can win, but he better get some birdies quick. A convincing win in Iowa will help.

Everyone in the media is talking about Hillary v Obama, Obama v Hillary - but this Republican race is fascinating from a horse race standpoint. I don't ever recall seeing - or reading ! - anything this wide open. Is the ultimate politican junkie's wet dream of a smoke-filled backroom nomination in the future?