Dec 31, 2005

Quick hits...

1) Nice job by Clemson in representing the ACC last night:

Elon 74, Clemson 69

This is Elon's first win vs. a D-I opponent this year.

2) On a better note, the Cavs get a big win today, beating Detroit at home - handily - by 13. These are the wins that help build confidence in a young team.

3) Bowl pick'em standings: our hot starts have been wiped away. Through the NC State game:
Eric - 10
Derek - 9
Gooch - 9
Don "Mr. wins every odd year" - 8

The leader has 15.

Dec 30, 2005

NFL Week 17 - and thoughts on the Browns

I am stunned and devastated by the news coming out of Cleveland today. Nothing is official, but from all sorts of sources, here are the details with some opinions of mine thrown in:
- Randy Lerner (owner) and John Collins (President, muckety-muck from NY) are not/have not been happy with the negotiation styles of our GM, Phil Savage;
- Leigh Bodden, our stud young CB, was given a 4 years extension today; there is talk that Collins did not agree with the extension that Savage gave him;
- Collins finally confronted Lerner sometime recently saying that Savage needs help on the negotiation end; Lerner and Collins may have contacted someone from Atlanta (where Chris Mortensen's sources are from);
- Savage disagrees; and Collins and Lerner may have decided to get rid of Savage; that trial ballon may have been floated today.
- Lerner sees the HUGE backlash that such a move would cause. I would say that 96% of the fans would back Savage over Collins in this way. Lerner saw that - and now is backtracking on the firing. The official site is denying anything and the three are "renewing their vows" to make the Browns an elite team (quote from WTAM radio today, from Collins. Collins, for his part, has denied any firing).

So even though there is no official shakeup, this can't be good. The saying "where there's smoke, there's fire" certainly applies here. There is a whole lot of hatred in the FO; no one is sure who's going to win any sort of power play that may be going on.

I have not gotten any impression that Romeo is part of this way, although the front office (Lerner/Collins) may ask Romeo to fire a few assistants.

This is just bad bad bad. I am sick and tired of the ineptitude of this front office, especially at the inability of the FO to "get" Browns football. Collins - today - even admitted that he is finally realizing the fan's passion and the place that Browns football has in the civic heart of Cleveland. WHAT THE F*^#$^* took you so long, you ass?

Argh. I know most of you don't care, but I had to get this off my chest. A depresssing day in Browns world.

Picks for week 17:
SD 31, Den 20
NYG 20, Oak 10
Pit 24, Det 7
Ind 27, Az 13
TB 27, NO 10
Cle 10, Bal 9
GB 24, Sea 20
Buf 19, NYJ 13
NE 24, Mia 17
Cin 31, KC 24
SF 16, Hou 13
Jax 27, Ten 20
Chi 16, Min 10
Was 31, Phi 14
Dal 27, StL 10

Best bets: 19 of them (last week: 8-6-2; overall: 135-124-13)
SD/Den over 43
NYG/Oak under 41
Pit -13.5
Ind -6.5
TB -13.5
Buf -1.5
Mia/NE Over 37
Cin +7
Cin/KC Over 46
SF +1
SF/Hou Under 37
Jax -3.5
Jax/Hou Over 37
Chi +4
Chi/Min under 35
Was -7.5
Was/Phi Over 37
Dal -12.5
Dal/Stl Under 43

Credibility of ESPN

Today, Dec. 30, could be the day where I cease to use ESPN for any real news.

Chris Mortensen is reporting that the Browns are planning to fire our GM, Phil Savage, as early as today.

According to the Browns board, nothing is set in stone and no firing has been announced. There are plenty of doubts within the organization that this will happen.

I know a lot of us has made fun of Peter Gammons in the past with his "gossip column" - Gammons reports trades that are "imminent" or "just about finalized" that somehow -shockingly- don't happen.

But this is real news, and it toys with the strings of fans around the nation. If this story turns out to be false - and Savage is still here in a month - then ESPN has a lot to answer for. It's getting to the point where all mainstream media is turning into a bunch of Dan Rathers.

(If the report is true, however.... well, let's not think about that.)

Power to the AL Central

So I get the kitchen pass tonight and go out with some people from work....we meet up at a bar with a lady from work (Casey) and a few of her friends.

Casey is a 23-year old right out of Iowa St; one of her friends is a young woman (23 or so, as well) with a husband. The husband- Dan - is a tall young guy with a Tigers cap on. Well, there's not a lot of teams I can trash talk to, so I go over, introduce myself as a Cleveland fan, and our conversation quickly turns to baseball (Grady Sizemore, Dmitri Young, Travis Hafner, Bobby Higginson, etc.). He is a Michigan native teaching school in southern Minnesota, it turns out.

So we're talking baseball for a while, when Casey comes over and says that there is a guy in the bar (who none of us know) that actually pinched her ass and was hitting on her! Well, Dan and I spring into action. We both had to take a trip to the men's room, so on the trip over, we both give the guy (an Iowa college frat boy, no older than 22) a long stare down with the evil eye.

When we return, Casey thanks us, saying that the offender actually apologized to her after we walked by!

That. my friends, is the AL Central in action.

Dec 29, 2005

Happy Holidays

Ahhh... the holidays are over. Finally!! For the first time ever, I never got in the Christmas mood. Don't know if it was due to all the traveling or what, but I just totally shut down this year during Christmas. I didn't go shopping, put up a tree or lights, or sent out Christmas cards. So to all those people who I didn't send a card or presents to, I'm sorry. I'll make up for it over the next couple of months.

And yes, I missed an entire week of picks. I was in Bermuda and totally forgot. If Eric permits, I'll go ahead and make up the 16 picks during the Bowl Season and this weeks games. Judges? If they rule in my favor I'm going to post my 16 college picks in the comments section.

Speaking of Bowl Season, the book is in bad shape. We are in the red for the first time in years and this is heading into Murders Row with the NFL Playoffs, the dreaded New Years Day Bowl Games, and then the Superbowl. I've always had a solid cushion going into these games, which makes everything a little less stressful, but not this year. If things go bad I might be playing the nickel slots in Vegas in March. I've already received a heads up call from the Boston collation that New Years Day will be heavy. Usually I love to hear this, but not this year, especially since Boston has done pretty well this year.

But, if things go well then I might go ahead and buy a Motorcycle. Yep. That's right, a Harley. Over in Bermuda we rented these little mopeds that top out around 50 MPH and it was a blast. We would just tool around the island on these things and it was so much fun and so relaxing. And with the way that the weather is in the OC, I could ride the bike year round. I'm still on the fence on this, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about those freakin mopeds and how much fun they were.

Dec 28, 2005

Monday Night Football

I am firmly on the side of Peter King, Dr. Z and even Sports Guy on this one. What is the big deal about the "finale" of Monday Night Football on ABC?

This is not the end of Monday Night Football - it will live on next year on ESPN. So the idea of football on Monday nights is still with us.

The last several days has been just a crap-fest of media self-love. No one cares about ABC and its decision not to renew. It's not like MNF was stolen from ABC; ABC decided not to renew- it's even going to its sister network, ESPN! This was a clear business choice.

The TV business model from the 70s and 80s is over. The three big networks don't matter anymore. TV is not "more special" if it is on ABC, CBS, Fox or NBC.

I believe that's what this week's love-fest was all about - a pity party for the established media realizing that it is not 1986 any more. Geesh.

(That being said, I think NBC will do a great job on Sunday night, and in 5 years, Sunday Night Football on NBC will be bigger than MNF on ESPN. This is partly due to the announcers, but also the flexibility that NBC willhave in chooisng games.)

Gambler's note: Our good friend Don Criqui will be announcing the Browns-Ravens game this weekend! Big Don and the Browns have a 3 game winning streak - are you going to bet against the Criqui magic? No way! We make it 4 this weekend with a 17-14 win over the Rats.

Dec 23, 2005

NFL Week 16

It's Friday night, and I am engrossed in an ESPN Classic showing of the 1987 PBA Los Angeles Open, announced by the great Chris Schenkel and Nelson "Bo" Burton Jr. Schenkel and Burton were staples in our house every Saturday afternoon in the 80s.

Don't know if Derek will get his picks in: he is in Bermuda, I believe, as I type, spending his Christmas vacation with friends. Whatever happened to the mystery of teh Bermuda triangle? That, too, was big in the 80s - planes mysteriosuly disappeared, strange weather occurred in that region, etc. Did Leonard Nimoy do a "In Search Of..." special on the Bermuda Triangle and answer all the questions?

(Where else do you get a blog comparing Nelson Burton Jr. and the Bermuda Triangle? I swear, we should charge for this sort of entertainment.)

On to the picks:
KC 27, SD 23: this is a classic Marty game - as in, "I can't believe Marty lost this game!"
Mia 23, Ten 20: Tennessee will be the surprise team of the 2006 season (well, maybe a 2nd surprise team beside Cleveland).
Jax 17, Hou 16. Can we really expect the Jags to win by more than 10?
Dal 24, Car 13. A contrairian pick. Bill will rally the troops here.
TB 27, Atl 17. As stated before, I have no faith in the Falcons.
Stl 20, SF 10. A lot of these games do not requrie a comment.
NO 20, Det 17. Like this one.
Cle 13, Pit 12. Why not?
Cin 31, Buf 14. The Takeo Spikes bowl. Mularkey has to go at the end of the year, right?
Was 20, NYG 13. This should be a great game. I need Tiki to have a good game - I don't think he will this week.
Az 27, Phi 20. I have a feeling about this one.
Den 28, Oak 13. C'mon, Jake, open it up and throw for 350.
Sea 30, Ind 20. I have no idea.
GB 16, Chi 13. Just have a feeling that Favre has one more good game left in him. This would be an ideal time.
Min 24, Bal 16. Boller's game Monday night was like an oasis in the desert - a mirage.
NE 24, NYJ 23. One last gasp effort by teh Jets to be competitive this year; NE will let up a bit.

Best bets: (last week: 9-9; overall: 127-118-11).
KC pick em
Hou +6
Dal +5
TB -3
TB/Atl Over 36 1/2
SD/Stl under 41 1/2
Cin -13 1/2
Was -3
Az -1
Az/Phi Over 39 1/2
Ind/Sea over 44
GB +7
Min +3
Min/Bal over 34
NYJ +5.5
NE/NYJ Over 37

Dec 22, 2005

Random thoughts

More random thoughts, mostly focusing on ESPN:

1) So ESPN is putting up a poll about how the current USC team would sack up vs. other great college football teams in history. For example:
- would the 05 Trojans beat the 91 Huskies?
- would they beat the 02 Buckeyes?
and so on....

I hate to rain on the parade, but...
doesn't USC have to win the championship first???

I mean, gees, why not do a poll asking if Eric Zahn winning the 2006 US Open is the greatest upset in golf history? I will enter it - it's just a formality that I actually win. Let's start the poll now!

Of course, I'm not saying that USC's chances of winning the national championship is as remote as me winning the US Open. But it's not a done deal. If I were Mack Brown, I'd force all of the Horns to watch these segments as motivation.

2) On a semi-related note, I see that Leinart was reinstated by the NCAA from his little issue with "promoting" ESPN. I would have loved to see the NCAA take the hard line and make him ineligible for the Rose Bowl.

Hey, if Jeremy Bloom can't play in the olympics and play football, then Leinart shouldn't be able to promote ESPN and play as well.

This would take ESPN down a few notches.

3) The Browns are now 3-0 when Don Criqui announces. That's good enough for me to have him be our full-time CBS announcer, even if he keeps calling our starting RB "Reuben Jones".

We have Mr. Orgasm Gus Johnson this week. Argh.

4) I'm sick already of the Johnny Damon signing. We are talking about the 3rd and 4th best teams in the AL here. Both still have a ways to go to get to the White Sox and, in my opinion, the Angels.

Note to ESPN and others: Most people outside of the original 13 colonies are sick and tired of having the Red Sox/Yanks thrown down our throat.

How is this different than, say, Albert Belle signing with the White Sox in the 1996 offseason? Or Tom Glavine signing with the Mets a couple of years ago? (Hint: it isn't).

5) College Bowl pool update:
The Gooch leads early on with 2 of 2 correct; Derek, Don Hershey and I have 1 correct.

76 players entered the pool; 21 have 2-of-2 so far.

Dec 20, 2005

Advice to the Democratic Party

Here's a political thought as I pace around trying to see if Arkansas St. can hold off Southern Miss from scoring again and covering the 17 point spread:

I read Andrew Sullivan from time to time to get a fresh perspective on issues and events; Andrew is a libertarian, pro-defense gay writer. Andrew takes both parties to tasks for various reasons.

He does have guest posters come in now and again when he is on vacation; one such person today is an unknown (to me) who offers some very valuable advice to the Democrats. Here is the full link:

link

Here is the first paragraph, which is very much worth reading.

While more legally-minded types bicker over the legitimacy of the Bush wiretapping, it's worth pointing out that the odds of this fracas redounding to the Democrats' long-term benefit are somewhere between slim and none. Let's suppose, for the sake or argument, that John Dean is right, and Bush just became "the first President to admit to an impeachable offense." The Democrats aren't going to try impeaching him for it - they aren't that stupid, are they? - so all that the offense does, in the public mind, is add to the existing perception of the GOP as the party that sometimes goes too far and skirts the law in the pursuit of national security objectives. And it's almost always better to be tagged as "the party that might go too far" than as "the party that won't go far enough" - which is how the Democrats are perceived these days. This explains why the GOP can weather controversy after controversy, from Iran-Contra down through Iraq War intelligence and the secret prisons and CIA waterboarding, and still hang on to the public trust on foreign affairs - because in each case, they're perceived as having gone too far with good intentions, 24-style, and in an arena that most Americans perceive as being slightly outside the law anyway.


This pretty much sums it all up in a nutshell. I just wonder sometimes if the Democrats have a strategy at all and realize how they have painted their party not just for now, but for the next generation....

Dec 19, 2005

Steeler Celebration Photo


This picture was taken from a bar in Pittsburgh where 6 loyal fans celebrated their win over the Vikings yesterday:

Derek, you asked me what I wanted for Christmas: I want nothing more than a win on Saturday to knock these inbreds out of the playoffs.

Dec 16, 2005

NFL Week 15

I got a sinking feeling in my stomach when the real estate agent called today - "Can you show your house at 4:00 in the afternoon on Sunday?"

THE ONE DAY where the Browns have a late (3:00) game, I'm forced out of the house. Argh. That's why God invented TiVo, I guess.

Here are the picks:
NE 27, TB 13
KC 31, NYG 24
Den 20, Buf 10
Mia 23, NYJ 10
StL 21, Phi 17
Hou 20, Az 17
Sea 31, Ten 17
Ind 34, SD 24
Car 23, NO 10
Jax 20, SF 9
Min 17, Pit 13
Cin 31, Det 17
Cle 20, Oak 17
Dal 16, Was 13, OT
Chi 17, Atl 13
Bal 24, GB 20.

Best bets: I am now 118-109-11 on the season:
NE -4.5
KC +3
KC/NYG over 47
Mia -8.5
Hou +1.5
Az/Hou under 43
Sea -7
Ind/SD Over 51
Car -9
Car/NO under 40
SF +16
Jax/SF Under 37
Min +3
Min/Pit Under 41
Cin -7.5
Dal +3
Dal/Was Under 35
Bal/GB Over 33

Fantasy Help needed

Boy, am I in a pickle. The 1st round of our playoffs start this weekend, and my quarterbacks on my roster are:

1) Bulger (out)
2) Plummer (in Buffalo)
3) Brooks (benched).

So - do I start Plummer, or go off the board with Garrad (vs SF) or Carr (vs Az)?

How in the hell did I find myslf in this predicament.....

Any advice would be appreciated.

Dec 14, 2005

College Bowl Pool

A friend of a friend is organizing a pool for all 28 bowl games. You have to pick the winner with the spread - so it's not as easy as it looks.

If you are interested - it's open to anyone - e-mail me and I will send you the spreadsheet. $5 to enter, unlimited entries. My address is zahn4@msn.com.

We should then post the entries of the posters/readers here for our own little contest.

Random thoughts from Week 14

First of all, it's hard to get pumped up for a game when you arrived home the "night" before at 6:30 in the morning. I haven't done that in a long, long time. Fortunately, I stopped drinking around 3 so there was no hangover - I was just zoned out the whole day. But I was alert enough to make the following observations:

1) Try as I might, I just can't find myself to hate Chad Johnson. Believe me, I love to hate everybody in the AFC north, especially Mr. Fraud Ben Roethlisberger (I want to punch the TV when his Fathead commercial comes on). But something about Chad makes me smile. I like his TD dances - they are planned, but planned with the fan in mind! - and comes across as genuine. Also, he gives props where props are due. On his "Can they cover 85?" chart he has publicized, he gave Leigh Bodden a "yes" after Sunday's game.

2) So I watched a bit of the Jax - Hou game - who was the ref? Bernie Kukar, a 2-time Super Bowl ref with 22 years of experience. My God, what is he doing there in week 14? Hey NFL, get the best officials at the best games late in the season.

3) Speaking of refs, let's make a rule - a ref can not wear a woolen face mask if fans are going shirtless at the game. I saw Mike Carey all bundled up with one in GB for the Sunday Night game - and then I saw shirtless guys in the stands. C'mon, sack up, Mike!

4) Didn't know Billick owned a Harley.

5) Can a hole open up more than it did for Washington during that kickoff return? Geesh - even I could fit through that hole.

6) So I'm about to cover the under in the Sea-SF game when I see Josh Brown out there attempting a 52 yd FG in a 38-3 game. 38-3! Of course he made it to put the total at the over.

7) It was a pleasure to see Derek go 1-10-3 on his picks on Sunday. He did win 2 on Monday, and I only gained 3 games on him, but nevertheless, it was fun calling him and telling him what his record was.

Go Panthers!


As some of you might know, the Div I-AA Championship game is this weekend, featuring our very own Northern Iowa Panthers. (The campus is located in Cedar Falls, about 70 miles north of Iowa City). UNI's most notable athletic accomplishment before this was beating Missouri in the 1st round of the NCAAs in 1990 as a 14 seed (no, I did not pick that, although they were a tempting 12-point dog).

If you don't know the details of how they won, then you haven't heard the story of the colossal coaching blunder of the year.

Northern was down by 8 (37-29) with 4 minutes left, playing on the road at Texas State in the semi finals. UNI drives and scores a TD with about 1:20 left to play, and makes the 2pt conversion. Now the score is tied, 37-37, and Northern has to kickoff to Texas State, who has 2 timeouts left.

Texas State gets the kickoff and is tackled at its own 25 with 1:15 left.

Let's repeat this: Texas State:
a) is tied 37-37
b) is playing at home in a I-AA semifinal
c) has the ball at its own 25 with 1:15 left
d) and has 2 timeouts.

What play(s) would you call?

The coach opted to take a knee 2 times and send the game to OT. The fans went beszerk - booing their own team (coach) in a playoff game.
Northern got the ball first, kicked a FG, and intercepted a Texas State pass to win, 40-37, to go to Chattanooga on Friday.

Back in the Saddle

Ahhhhh. Finally we are back up and running. Still don't know what happened to the site. Anyway, here are some quick thoughts from an active two weeks:
  • Career change is on the way for me. I'm moving from managing numbers to managing people. If all goes well in my meeting this morning with my VP on my succession plan, then I'll be off to Long Beach. I'm sure my lack of patience and my shortness to people who are stupid will go over well with my new office.
  • Went out to Vegas last week and had one of my first winning sessions in about 6 years (excluding poker). After breaking down the session two things came to mind on why I won; I stayed away from Blackjack and I went in with some good karma. It is so apparent now that if you tip generously, say hello to everyone, and generally be pleasant to all strangers then you will win.
  • Probably the best outcome of the trip was that my buddy Ben, who doesn't gamble that much, is now hooked. I'm sure we will make another couple of quick trips out in the upcoming weeks.
  • Bumped into Shaq last week in a crappy restaurant late night. He was sitting in the corner and was holding court with all of the wait staff. After he left (of course giving me the traditional head nod) the wait staff was going crazy. Apparently he gave them all $100 bills as a tip.
  • Why can't I find any name brand dress shirts with a 17.5 inch neck. This is getting ridiculous.
  • Bradley to the A's. Well I don't want to get too excited since I'm sure this will go well for the first 2 months and then something will happen. I don't want to make excuses for him but what has he done as a Dodger that has been bad? Ripped Kent? Um..the guy is an ass. Get a little too emotional on called strikes? I like the passion. Chuck a bottle at a fan...hmmm I got nothing on this.
  • Won a couple of poker tournaments over the last two weeks. I'm now becoming unstoppable in my private games which is resulting in 30 people sitting around the table openly cheering against me. Takes a little while to get used to, but I actually enjoy it now.
  • I think I finally got rid of the Crazy Asian Chick.
  • Finally going back to Baltimore on Saturday for two weeks. I'm so excited to see everyone!!!!!!

Dec 7, 2005

Poker Question

Hand #1
7H, 8H, W, W, JH

Hand #2
(in no particular order, in other words, you tell me what order the hand goes in)
8S, W, W, W, 10S


Who has the better straight flush?

Dec 6, 2005

Football update

So the lesson learned from this weekend is that if I spend 5 minutes on the picks in half darkness in a hotel room when everybody is sleeping, that's better than if I spend an hour or more on the week. Okaaaaay...

Last two week update:

Eric: was 44-43-5; last two weeks were 8-11-1 (see below) and 9-6:
overall 61-60-6
Derek: was 53-36-3; last two weeks were 8-11-1 and 7-8
overall 68-55-4

slowly gaining ground.

Thanksgiving Sunday was terrible. How in the hell can I have Washington (+3), Houston (+ 3 1/2) and Dallas (-2), and have all of them go OT, and LOSE ALL OF THEM???? Isn't every game decided by a FG in OT? My God, was that painful.

Sports sound clips

Completely random sports question:

What is your #1 favorite sports-related audio clip? Some nominees:

- Jim Mora's "Playoffs?? Playoffs?" tirade
- Herm Edwards "you PLAY to WIN the GAME" press conference
- Jim Schoenfeld's classic: "Eat another donut, you fat pig"
- The John Chaney/John Calipari grudge match: "I KILL YOU!"
- Anything by Bob Knight (I love the "game face" one)
- Hal McRae's tirade from a few years ago

I'm sure I'm missing some obvious ones.

If I could set my alarm to Herm Edwards' voice every day, I think I would double my productivity in the morning.

Cue The Pretenders

Sorry about the lack of blogging - but the last several days have been pretty busy. Yes, it is offical - we are going "Back to Ohio" as our move back to Cincinnati was announced just befor Thanksgiving. We knew this would be coming eventually, but we are surprised it is so quick.

Went househunting for 4 days last week, and luck smiled upon us as we found a house, placed an offer, and was accepted during the 4 days. A big relief. Now we get to put our house on the market and try to keep it in immaculate condition for 30 days, with 2 kids and 2 dogs, over the holiday season. Nothing like an impossible task there.

Sirius came in handy on the way home as I listened to the NFL games - with the highlight being Braylon's torn ACL somewhere east of Peoria, IL. So close, yet so far away.

Dec 4, 2005

Picks

Since Eric is now driving back from Cincy, he will not be able to give his two cents on this week's games. I'm not going to take his place since I've sworn off doing so since I went 0-100 during the MLB playoffs. So I'm just going to post the games for the both of us.


Eric: 15 games
TB -3.5
TB/NO Over 39
Car -3
Car/Atl under 43
Bal/Hou Under 38
NYG.Dal over 41
Min -3
Min/Det over 38 1/2
Buf +5
SF +3
Was -3
NYJ/NE Over 41
KC +1
KC/den over 45 1/2
Phi +4

Derek: 15 games
USC
VT
Texas Under
Miami -5
Pitt -3.5
Baltimore -8
Jax -3.0
Chicago -7
TB-3.5
Washington -3
Denver -1
SD -11.5
SD Over 50.5
Seattle -4
Dallas +3

Dec 3, 2005

The Dealer is Hot!!!

Was in Palm Springs last week, and ended up going over to one of their 3 casinos the last night I was there. Don't know why I did, since I'm trying to quit BJ and I wasn't in the mood to play poker. But as I walked in, I thought I saw a couple of craps tables, which got me excited, but then I was thinking that California has a law against any dice games, so it must be something else. Anyway I walked up to the table and saw that it was craps with a slight twist. To get around the "no dice" law, they have the pit boss grabbing one card with his right hand from a group of six cards and one card with his left hand from a group of six cards. The group of cards are just Ace-6, and i represents the roll of the dice. Strangest thing. It was terrible because there was no excitment as well as its sort of tough to cheer for the pit boss. I don't know what is more amazing, the fact that I lost $150 or that there was a guy playing with $500 chips next to me.

And let me say something about Palm Springs...Wow. Exceeded all of my expectations. Hotels were amazing, weather was great, and people told me that the golf was excellent and reasonably priced. And the selection of high end restuarants close by was nothing like Vegas, but it was still better than most large cities.

And since Eric is in Cincy on a house hunting tour, he probably won't get his picks in until tomorrow, so here are three of my college picks today:

USC -20.5
Texas Under 61
VT -14

Nov 30, 2005

Emptying Out the Junk Drawer of the Mind

I stole the title from Bob Ryan, but it was more interesting that Random Thoughts!

-Is there anything worse than a football team with a terrible pass defense? Watching the Pats D reminds me of the old 1993 Terps Defense. Which spawned the great line in the Post about them ("They are currently ranked dead last in I-A Football Total Defense - # 126th ranking. They are so far from 125th place that they would need to take a cab to get there.") A runner-up quote about this Pats D was penned last weekend when the 6th different QB went for over 300 yards against them ("Even the Venus DeMilo could pass for 300 yards against this defense").

-Recently finished the SG book. Nice easy reading, but I was hoping it was an actual book, not just a rehash of his columns. The "sidebar commentary" was a nice touch. Some of the older columns did bring back some good memories (back when I had free time to browse a bunch of stuff on the Net all day...)

-Our new office space is near completion!!! Its had more delays than your average America West Flight, but we should be able to move in by Dec 12th. Of course, our original targeted move in date was November 1st, but whatever. Fortunately, our existing place is such a total shithole that nobody has rented it so we were able to rent bad for some extra time. I can't wait to be out of DC!

-Lukas has had a nice case of the runs for about 4 days, just thought I should let you know.

-I know I am one of 5 NBA fans on the planet, and nobody really cares, but the Celtics are terrible. They have some talented pieces, but they don't really fit together right now. I'm still in the tank for Danny Ainge as I like the guys he's drafted.

-I've been watching more college basketball this year (compared to the last couple). There have been some great games thus far. I was totally glued to the Maui tournament. That was the best non-March Madness college hoop I've seen in a longggg time.

-I'm depressed about UMD hoops (and football for that matter). I know its early, but I just think a best case scenario is that we are one of those 8-9 seeds that gets knocked out of the tourney early. I want more than that. I just feel like our overall talentbase should be much better than what it is. Didn't we win a national championship?? What did I miss?? We have some nice pieces, but lets face it Chris McCray is our best overall scorer, and he would probably be a 3rd or 4th option on a Final Four caliber team. If you strip away the Terp-colored glasses and search your feelings...you know it to be true...

-Even though I haven't been too active, I've still enjoyed reading the banter on this space. I kind of feel like everyone has had it with the Boston Sports Scene as the last 2 or 3 years has exhausted everyone, so I don't want to comment too much on it. Also, I've been insanely busy and haven't had too much free time to post. On the bright side, when I retire in 2045 I'll be blogging like a madman!!!!

Nov 28, 2005

The Robert Plan

So we are looking into expanding our New York market share by bringing on a company, The Robert Plan, to write and handle high risk business in New York and New Jersey. This idea was brought to us by our VP of Product Management, who seems to have a shitload of very bad ideas. This is the type of guy that gives insurance a bad name. He is always trying to push some bad claims handling practices on us to cut cost, and commonly asks questions like "Why do we pay claims for old people? If we delay it for a year, we have a better chance that they might die, then we don't have to pay." We all just sit there amazed. Rumor has it that he has run two smaller companies into the ground. The guy is like Dave Wandstadt of Insurance VPs. For some reason companies continue to give this guy a chance, despite no track record of success.

So to appease him, we decided to meet with The Robert Plan in December to see what they have to offer. Well, I open up the Journal today and see that AIG is having major problems with the Robert Plan, and has filed suit against them on some major issues ranging from refusing to open their books for an audit to skimming funds for personal perks. Its gotten so bad that the New Jersey Department of Insurance has taken over their New Jersey operation and has refused to allow them to write new business. Why am I not surprised. I'm so giddy since we can tell this VP that once again his idea was shit and we have cancelled the meeting.

Nov 27, 2005

Watched Finding Neverland on Friday and it made my mind go crazy over the next 24 hours. I don't know if it was the 4 glasses of wine or the 4 pounds of turkey, but I have been an emotional mess this weekend. I started to think why I was out here in LA and why I didn't come home to see my parents and friends for Thanksgiving, or why has it been so long since I've seen Eric and his boys in Iowa. I feel like I'm taking all of them for granted, and that they will always be there, and I'll make time to spend with all of them in the future. I then started to think why I've become so picky with women recently and maybe I should just settle on someone, just so I won't be alone. I started to question all my priorities, values, and everything that I have built my current life around.

So with all of this on my mind, I went out on another date with the crazy asian girl on Saturday, trying to keep a positive attitude. The thoughts of "Maybe I could be happy with her" were actually going through my head. So before the date, I went over to the barber shop to get a quick trim, since my neck looked like a baboons back, but it was closed. What barber shop is closed on a Saturday? I had to get a trim, not only for this date, but for my business trip next week. So I stopped by the Howard Jones salon by my place, which for some reason I thought Howard would understand "Can you just shave my neckbeard and I only want to pay $5" and I got a response of "Ah I don't understand. Natasha come over here and take care of this gentlemen. I think he wants a razor cut with highlighted tips." Uh...no. So after a 5 minute discussion with Natasha and her nasty hairlip on what a trim was, she ended up just giving me a shampoo, moving her scissors around my head for 10 minutes and then charging me $45. Ugh. Should of known that this was bad idea when they were blaring "In the Club" by 50 Cents when I walked in.

So after another $200 and uninspiring conversation with the crazy asian girl, I called it a night and went home dejected and depressed only to find Ben half in the bag drinking scotch with all the lights out, while listening to Peter Gabriel on the Adult Alternative Music Station. Wow, I thought I was in a bad place, but Ben always seems to out do me. While talking to him about his problems, which were similar to my complaints earlier, we slowly put everything back into perspective. We got great careers, live on the beach, and are extremely happy for 95% of the time. People would die to be happy 95% of the time. Its that 5% of the time that we need the help of some good scotch to get by.

Off to Palm Springs

Nov 26, 2005

NFL Picks Week12

Before we get started:

1) The Jays paid BJ Ryan $47 Million for 5 years???? Does that make any sense? Is he that much better than Batista? From my un-informed perspective, BJ Ryan does not seem like a $9 million closer to me. Maybe those of you who watch AL East baseball full time can tell me differently.

2) Man, I'm feeling for the Iowa State fans around here. Two years in a row they had a chance to go to the Big 12 championship game by winning their last game - and blew it both times in OT. Last year vs. Missouri, this year vs. Kansas. Off to the Houston bowl for them...

Now the picks:

Cin 31, Bal 13. I have a feeling that the Cincinnati offense will remain clicking after last weeks's game and should score more than 20-24 points.

Buf 17, Car 16. At home, Buffalo is a different team, and has the players to follow's Chicago's blueprint on how to beat the Panthers.

KC 34, NE 24. The weather here scares me, but this should be a shootout.

Hou 23, Stl 20. Geesh, if Arizona can beat the Rams in St Louis, then this should be at least a good game.

TB 16, Chi 9. Where is the offense for the Bears going to come from? It's hard for me to jump on the Bears' bandwagon when the Browns beat them soundly, 20-10.

Cle 23, Min 17 (OT). The Vikings are the last team that we haven't played since the return. The predicted final score here is the same as a victory in 1989, when the Browns won on only the 2nd fake field goal in OT in NFL history. Mike Pagel, the holder, took the snap and passed to special teamer Van Wiaters for a 31 yard touchdown pass for the win. I believe this locked up a playoff spot for us that year - my first in Cleveland.

Was 27, SD 24. Washington is better than what was seen last week, and I'm beginning to be a believer in this "long west/east coast trips affecting teams" theory.

Ten 31, SF 20. Should be a high scoring affair.

Jax 24, Ariz 10. Could be a trap game, but Arizona shot their wad last week with the emotional win over the Rams.

Oak 24, Mia 13. Miami is awful . No pass defense, shaky run defense, and the offense is not solid.

Phi 20, GB 17. My God - I have no idea at all.

Sea 27, NYG 20. A classic this weekend, with Seattle making the statement. The NFC Championship game in Seattle? Can that be true?

NYJ 17, NO 14. Yikes. Can there be a worse Sunday Night game? (OK, it could be Arizona at Houston)

Ind 28, Pit 27. Pit will try to control the ball and they will score - but just not enough.

OK - best bets: 10-9 last week; overall: 95-85-8, but I went 1-2 on Thursday.
17 more:
Cin -9
Cin/Bal over 37
Buf +4
KC -3
KC/NE Over 50
Hou +3 1/2
TB -3
TB/Chi Under 32 1/2
Was +3
Was/SD Over 44
Ten/SF Over 42 1/2
JAx -3 1/2
Jax/Ariz Under 41 1/2
Oak -7
NYJ/NO under 37
Pit +8.5
Ind/Pit Over 47

Nov 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy turkey day to all of you....

2 quick notes:

1) The Tribe let Bobby Howry go. Argh. We will miss him in 2006 more than Bob Wickman (it looks likethe Tribe won't resign him and will go after B J Ryan instead). Geesh, did we not learn the lessons of 2004?

2) Had the hardest test of the year yesterday - the annual eye exam. I swear, I'm deathly afraid of that - if I incorrectly answer any of those "1..... or 2?" questions, then my vision is screwed up for the year. This makes a difference in two key areas of my life:
a) at the craps table, when I try to beat the dealer in making the call for the roll. It's nice to get the dirty looks from the dealers when you yell "Point! 8!" before the dealers can;
b) and at the golf course. If I get the wrong contacts, then I won't be able to make any 15 foot sidehill breakers the whole year. This conversation will occur multiple times:
Eric: "How'd that putt go left? I had it breaking 3 inches from left to right"
Don: "Dude, you need to get your eyes checked"

I got a new prescription... we will see....

Picks for today:
Atl 27, Det 13: This is the perfect time to switch sides and go with the Falcons. We had a good ride goign against them - they are too good to continue to play this bad. This is equaivalent to two hot rolls on the craps table - it's the perfect time to switch to the "don't" side.

(can you tell I played craps yesterday?)

Dal 20, Den 17. This should be a great game. On my fantasy team, I have Plummer (since Bulger is now out for the year) and Dallas's defense. I fell like I can't do too bad.

3 best bets:
Atl -3
Dal +2.5
Dal/Den Under 41 1/2

Nov 23, 2005

My Favorite Move

I got cut off this morning on the drive in to work. Some bitch in a minivan with her husband in the passenger seat. She passes me on the left with her right turn signal on trying to get over in front of me. I had been speeding up before I realized that she was trying to get over, but yeah I was also trying to block her. So she cuts right in front of me into a pretty tight gap in traffic and starts motioning at me in her rear-view mirror. And here's my move:

I just shake my head at her with a little smirk.

No middle finger, no "suck my dick" motion, no shouting "fuck you" at her. Just shaking my head. It's the greatest because it pisses people off so much more than anything else I've ever found. It made this bitch so mad that she slowed down to shout at me some more. To which I responded with another head shake and smirk as if to let her know that she was the reason that women shouldn't be allowed to drive. I think that it throws people off--and really pisses them off. And in the end, isn't that the greatest revenge?

Where was I?

Been extremely busy over the last two days and I just saw the Red Sox trade. Then I read the BSG article and was disappointed again by his analysis. So here is my take....

First, what are the expectations in Boston on this trade? Are they expecting that Lowell returns to his old form and Beckett will stay healthy and continue to pitch like he did Florida? If so, then there will be plenty of disappointed fans next year. But if they expect that Beckett will win 15 games with a 4.00+ ERA with Lowell batting .275 with 20 homers, I think they will be pleasantly surprised.

Both of these guys I really like due to my fantasy baseball ties, so its hard for me not to think like a Red Sox fan right now and declare that both of these guys will return to their prior levels, but people seem to be blinded by some obvious facts here. Let's forget about Lowell and the prospect first and let's talk about Beckett. I love Beckett. I love what he did to the Yanks. I love his high K rate. But what I don't like is his inability to get through a season. He always gets injured. Period. You can't look past this. Why are people looking past this? The Yanks did this with Jaret Wright last year and they got burned. Next is the league change. With Beckett, I wouldn't be surprised to see him post 10-15 wins, but that will probably come along with a 4.00+ ERA. That Florida ballpark is crazy for a pitchers. Why hasn't anyone said more about this? And why isn't it fair to compare Beckett to Pavano? Pavano pitched in the same park and then came over to the AL and his ERA shot up. So I'm going on record here to say that Beckett will post a 4.33 ERA and 12 wins while going on the 15 day DL once and then missing a couple of starts here and there. For Lowell, I think he will start out extremely hot and then go ice cold during the second half of the year for a total of 25 HRs and a .260 BA.

And as far as the prospect goes? Who cares. I agree with the BSG on this. When you have a $120-$130 million payroll and you have some depth in the minors, trade a prospect for two guys that if the best case scenario plays out, they could be back in the World Series.

Nov 21, 2005

Terps Hoops Preview

I went to the Terps vs Fairleigh Dickinson game the other night and thought that I would post my thoughts on this year's team before the Maui Tourney at 5pm EST.

PG - Probably the biggest question mark with this team. Can DJ Strawberry effectively run the point? Can he handle the ball against the PGs of the ACC? His defense is one of the reasons that he is in the starting lineup, but in an exhibition against Virginia Union, Strawberry had 7 turnovers at the half. If that trend continues, the Terps are in for a long season. The backup is Sterling Ledbetter who had extended playing time during the Terps' NIT run last year. McCray also spells Strawberry at the point, but does not have the ball-handling skills necessary to be anything more than a fill-in from time to time.

SG - McCray needs to become a leader and go-to scorer. Elected to be the team co-captain, he is a streaky shooter and a mildly underrated defender who, last year, was usually assigned to the other team's best guard. With Strawberry and McCray, defensively, the Terps look good in the backcourt. The highly-recruited Mike Jones also needs to step up this year. He has been inconsistent at best, showing flashes of the unlimited range we heard so much about when he first came to MD, while also suffering from defensive lapses which earned him a spot in Gary's doghouse for stretches of the last two years. His play will be one of the keys to MD's season.

SF - Nik Caner-Medley is the starter and team co-captain. Supposedly, during the off-season, he worked on his shot and getting the ball to the rim more often. If I see him receive a pass in the corner, jab step, and hoist up another bad three, I'm going to jab a pen in my eye. Also, I hope that he worked on going to his right in the offseason, because everyone in the ACC recognized that he can only go left last year.

PF/C - At the FDU game, James Gist started alongside Ekene Ibekwe. Is there a skinnier PF/C combo in all of college hoops? At his best, Ibekwe is a long shot-blocker, capabable of changing the way that people attack the basket and an effective inside offensive player. At worst, he gets into foul trouble on defense and turns the ball over on offense. With a go-to post move, he becomes dangerous. Without it, we are stuck watching him try to dribble in the paint with predictable results (turnover). And can I just add that he has one of the wierdest looking shots in college hoops? It looks like he's worked on cleaning it up some, but it's still awkward at best.

Gist is my favorite Terp, by far. Probably the best jumper on the team, he has a nose for the ball. Defensively, he is an outstanding shot-blocker who gets into trouble when he doesn't move his feet. He gets pushed around by the bigger forwards in the league, but makes up for a lot with his quickness. Offensively, he is one our best post players (probably b/c he is the only one on the team with any true post moves).

Travis Garrison is another highly-recruited player who has suffered an up and down career at MD. Listed at 6'8", 241 lbs, he plays like he's 6'3"-- all fade alwyas and jumpers. It's nice that he has a soft shooting touch, but get your ass down in the paint and get a GD rebound! I think that he is suffering from Terrence Morris syndrome (he gets worse the longer he stays in school).

And finally, Will Bowers. Two years ago, he was a suckier version of Cone (Mike Mardesich). Last year, he surprised people with his moderate effectiveness. Gary has always said that big men take longer to develop, and Bowers may be a good example of that. He spent the summer working on low post moves at Big Man camp and we are going to need that to do anything this year. You hope for 15-20 minutes, 6-8 points, 6-8 rebounds, and 5 fouls. More is gravy, less puts you in a tough spot.

Offense - Who is the go-to player? What is their go-to move? When you really need a basket, who is going to get the ball? This probably cost the team 3-4 wins last year. There are a number of people who can fill this role (McCray and NCM come to mind), but only time will tell.

Defense - Team defense has been an issue. At times, the team becomes block-happy and ends up giving up a bunch of easy points to good passing teams. Gary has stated that he is planning on pressing a lot this year, and getting back on defense will be key.

X-Factor - Contributions from Bowers, Jones, and Gist. If 2 or 3 of these guys comes on strong, MD can be a strong team.

Tequila

Had a weird experience with Tequila on Saturday night. Went out with Ben and his girlfriend to a Mexican joint on Saturday night to watch the USC game. Despite our pleas, Ben's girlfriend ordered shots of this Tequila that had a deer on the front. Despite having a deer as its mascot, the tequila went down really smooth and actually had a clean after taste. After another shot, Ben and I completely lost it for about 2 hours. After only 2 shots, and probably 1-2 beers, we couldn't form complete sentences and nobody other than Ben and I could understand what we were saying. We were laughing so hard at the stupidest shit that we both started to cry, and we couldn't do anything about it. We weren't even drunk. The only thing I could relate it to was getting high for the first time, with some sort of mild acid trip. But this stuff burned so cleanly that it seemed to only affect our speech and nothing else. Nothing was spinning, and we had full control of our motor skills, except for the fact that we couldn't talk or stop laughing. The bartender and Ben's girlfriend both stopped talking to us, cut us off, and we were quietly shuffled out of the bar. Next morning, we both woke up, went for a nice run, and didn't have a hangover. Crazy. Anyone else had this happen to them while drinking this stuff? Probably the first enjoyable experience I've had with Tequila.

Daily Journal

Two things to point out as I fly Southwest this morning on my way to Vegas this morning for a couple of meetings:
The Journal is hands down the best newspaper out there right now. I probably read the Journal 3-4 days a week, as I steal my VPs copy while waiting for him to join a meeting, and therefore I only get to skim the front page for any good business news, and then maybe one article that peaks my interest. But when I'm traveling, it always gets me through the time I board to when I can turn on my laptop, and I actually feel like I learned something after I'm done, unlike reading the LA Times, USAToday, and even the OC Register which is filled with such crap. For the first time in 3 months, I actually read a LA Times article from start to finish, but it wasn't about politics or business related news, but rather how the VGL (Video Game League) is taking off and how one of the best players of Quake and games like that is earning close to $1 million dollars in winnings and endorsements. This guy Fatality has his own line of mouse pads, Motherboards, Sound Cards, and even a clothing line, and is pulling down seven figures. The only downfall is that he wakes up at Noon, goes for a run, and then spends the next 14 hours playing games in his basement. Oh, and despite making all that money he still lives with his mom. So after I finished the Journal, I opened up the Southwest magazine and found a four page interview with Bill Simmons. I almost did a double take and then realized that our boy is all growns up. Next he will be doing covers of Fortune and GQ.

One other quick notes...Its amazing to me to see people above the age of 40 not have a clue about flying. How are you that old and have never been on a plane. Not only do they not understand the security line, they love to complain about it. Ugh. I know I'm being somewhat of a snob, but jeez....

Nov 19, 2005

NFL Picks week 11

When I pick these games, I don't look at the line - I make the pick and then see where the discrepancies are.
It was scary this week how close I was to the actual over/under. That means I'm getting close to being a great predictor, or (more likely) no one has any clue what is going to happen.

Was 27,Oak 17. I think last week's loss will fire Washington up, as they win easy at home.

Dal 33, Det 13. Harrington may look good at home vs. Arizona, but not on the road at Dallas. (sorry, Dave!)

Cle 17, Mia 13. Cle is 0-3 versus good competition (Cin, @Pit, @Ind) and 3-3 versus the bottom half of the league (W vs Chi, Ten, GB; L to Det, Hou, Bal). They have 4 more games vs. the dregs (Mia, @Oak, @ Min, Bal), and 3 vs. good competition (Jax, @ Cin, Pit). I think they can steal one vs. the good guys (Jax) and split versus the dregs - that's 6-10.

Stl 31, Arz 16. Warner may get up for this game, but his team (especially the D) is plain bad.

Pit 13, Bal 10. Who the hell knows. Maddox! Boller! The NFL on CBS! This was supposed to be the national 4:15 game on CBS, but they wised up 3 weeks ago and switched the times with the Ind-Cin game.

Ten 20, Jax 17. Upset of the week. Jax just doesn't impress me. They struggled to beat Houston - and this is a playoff caliber team?

NYG 28, Phi 13. OK, NOW the Giants prove themselves as a great home team. Eli can't have 2 terrible games in a row at home, can he? (Don't answer that.)

NE 31, NO 16. I'm sorry, I think NO is terrible. Yes, NE has no pass defense, but this is Aaron Brooks we are talking about. And Brady & co will use this game as practice to hone their offensive skills.

Chi 19, Car 16. I think this is a kitchen sink game for the Bears; they are out to prove to the world they are for real.

TB 26, Atl 20. Atlanta is very overrated; TB has some sort of offense (espcially a running offense).

Sea 27, SF 9. Shaun, Shaun and more Shaun.

Ind 28, Cin 27. This will be a classic; Peyton wins the game with a a last-minute TD. A old fashioned shoot-out.

SD 27, Buf 13. JP will make some mistakes, the Chargers take advantage, it will be a hefty does of LT and some Gates, and SD will control the ball for 40 minutes.

Den 30, NYJ 10. This one seems tooooooo easy. (I can see it now: What an upset! final: NYJ 21, Den 20.)

KC 20, Hou 17. Maybe KC is a tad overrated, and Hou is playing a little better. (They just needed that jump start vs. the Browns! OK, don't laugh).

GB 20, Min 17. The talent isn't there on either team, but this will be a great game, with a Longwell FG at the end to win.

Best bets: 19 of them. Last week: a terrbile 6-10-1; overall: 85-76-8

Was -6
Dal -8
Dal/Det Over 39
StL -9
Pit/Bal under 33
Ten +4
NYG -7
NE -9.5
Chi +3
TB +6
TB/Atl Over 39
Sea -13
Sea/SF under 42 1/2
Cin +5.5
Ind/Cin Over 47 1/2
Den -13
Hou +7
Hou/KC Under 43 1/2
GB/Min Under 44

Nov 17, 2005

NCAA Picks!

Our first five best bets for the NCAA Basketball season:

Wake Forest +2
Tex Tech/Syr over 134
Tem/UCLA Under 134
Montana St +2.5
Sam Houston St +11

CBS NFL Announcers

Slow day here at work...
1) Listening to Mike and Mike this morning, they played a highlight from the Lakers' game.
Who had the play-by-play on the Lakers' radio network (KLAC)?

Our friend Spero Dedes.

So let's review. The CBS announcers for the 3rd level (and worse) NFL games are:
Gus Johnson - radio voice of the Knicks
Ian Eagle - radio/TV voice of the Nets
Craig Bolerjack - TV voice of the Jazz
Kevin Harlan - TV voice of the Timberwolves
and now
Spero Dedes - radio voice of the Lakers

Which begs the question - what kind of salaries do NBA teams give out for their commentators? These guys have to moonlight on the side to earn money.

It's no wonder that they suck. They have no time to prepare for the game! Seriously, if you are doing 3 Knicks games per week, when do you have time to study the rosters of the Texans/Titans to prepare for a game on Sunday?

Gumbel is the #1 announcer, Enberg is #2....we've named the rest of the CBS crew (who all hold NBA jobs) except for.......

2) Don Criqui. I really want to know what happened to this guy. Please correct me, but Don and Bob Trumpy formed the #1 team for NBC in the mid-late 80s. If Criqui did the game, you knew it was a big one.
Now, he's doing the 5th-6th best AFC games on CBS.

I really want to know the story - we need to hire E! to do a one hour show on him. The rise of Criqui, the fall (which I'm guessing has to be a gay affair with Dick Stockon - it's the only logical reason why these two are still at their jobs after being at their peaks 15-25 years ago), and rise again.

He must be desperate for work. Is this like trying to find a babysitter - your 1st, 2nd , 3rd options are gone, and now you have to settle for the 15-year-old who you SWEAR stole $20 off teh dresser the last time she came over? Do CBS Executives have the same kind of conversations?

CBS Exec (muttering to himself): "I can't believe Gus Johnson is doing skiing for us on
Saturday... damn him..... oh God, let's call Criqui"

(phone rings)

Criqui: "Hello, now here's Don Criqui!"

CBS Exec: "Yeah, Don, this is CBS again. Listen, we have an opening for..."

Criqui: "I'll take it!"

CBS Exec: "But you don't know what it is yet!"

Criqui: "I know...but it's work! Yeah baby, back in action!"

CBS Exec: "All right, it's NFL, on Sunday, but it's Cleveland and Miami"

Criqui:"Damn! I got a good one!"

CBS Exec: "Um, Don? They're both 3-6"

Criqui: "Dilfer! Rosenfels! It's the NFL on CBS! Next week, it's regional action on CBS, where most of you will see me in Tempe, watching a titanic struggle between the Jaguars and the Cardinals!"

CBS Exec: "Um... OK, whatever. Show up at 11:59 in Cleveland, please. Thanks."

The sad thing is that I'm not annoyed by his play-by-play at all. It's mildly entertaining. I could go into a mock play-by-play, but since most of the readership watches good football (or FOX), no one would appreciate it.

One more thing.. if this picture doesn't creep you out, nothing will.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/cbssports/team/dcriqui

Enough for now. It's true, Criqui is doing the Cleveland game (2nd in 3 weeks) this weekend.

Nov 16, 2005

Bull shit

I feel like Peyton Manning after throwing for 400 yards and 4 touchdowns, only to see that my special teams gave up 4 TDs and a last second two point conversion. What the fuck happened tonight? I actually went out on a date tonight solely due to the fact that I was up in LA and spending the night and didn't have anything else to do. And for some reason, I pull out my A game and it turns into a 3 hour dinner, with a night cap, and a kiss on the cheek. And somehow she is coming home with me for Christmas. I'm so confused right now. I'm going to have to piece it together tomorrow morning after the Johnny Black wears off.

Nov 15, 2005

Fooooooooood

Two quick food items today:

1. Personal Size Pizza is a rip off. $6.00 for four miniature slices that would only fill up a little girl. Even if you are not that hungry, never order it. What a joke.

2. How does one not notice lumpy milk? Was it because I was blinded by 4 large peanut butter cookies that were calling my name? Yes. Well I proceeded to drink an entire glass of it, thinking that the lumps were just parts of the cookie, which resulted in a two hour conflict in my bathroom. The only good thing is that I finished the Bill Simmons book, which wasn't too bad.

Nov 14, 2005

Browns review from national TV

Well, a disappointing game on Sunday. It started with such promise with the opening drive and the 4th down stop, but then the talent of Pittsburgh came through over the course of the game.

Some thoughts:

1) With Baxter out, the last thing we needed was to have our other starting CB - McCutcheon - go out as well with an injury. That's what happened in the 1st quarter when Cutchwent out, and was replaced by Ray Mickens. Mickens is terrible. He was the one assigned to Ward for the rest of the game, and was faked out on the Randle El pass. Something has got to happen here.

2) Northcutt (or Dropcutt, as we like to call him) is not a starting WR. Please, Romeo, start Braylon. And Bryant is not long for the #1 spot at WR, either.

3) The bright spot this year has been Reuben and, more importantly, the O line. It's is light years better than the last 7 years. We can run at will to get 3-4 yards. Screen plays work for 10, 15, 20 yards.

4) Another average game for Dilfer. He missed some throws- espeically the throw to Braylon in the 1st where Braylon could have raced up the middle for 6 and make it 14-0. But he was victimized as well by some drops. A C- game for him.

5) I knew the defensive line was a weakness, but geez, that was pathetic. No pressure, no attempt to stuff the run after the 1st quarter.

6) Why wasn't Charlie Frye put in in the 4th quarter? I can't give you an answer.

This is a growing process. Romeo is determined to win with the 3-4 defense and a ball control, run-oriented offense. It is clear that he wants the system in place first, and then we will add the players - not the other way around. Let's hope the draft and the FA pickps can fill in the most pressing needs at DL, LB, WR and C to help us improve.

Nov 13, 2005

Random Thoughts

1. What does Kenny Mayne do these days? I see a five minute segment every week on Sunday NFL Countdown, but is he working part time now? Remember when he was an anchor and in all of the commercials?

2. I hate button-fly pants. Is there any reason for them? Was there something lacking with the standard zipper that we just had to have the button-fly? They're irritatingly slow to put on and have no benefits that I can see.

3. I'm gay for Steve Smith. He's single-handedly carried my mediocre fantasy team and has kept them in contention throughout the year. Take a look at his weekly scoring totals: 26.8, 5.4, 43.5, 2.2, 31.9, 25.3, 37.6, and 22.1. He's obviously the #1 wideout this year, but I don't hear that much about him. Maybe he's been drowned out by the all-T.O. coverage, but he's been great. Watch him blow out his knee today, now that I wrote about him.

4. I'll be sad to see Mike Tice fired at the end of the year. Don't get me wrong, he deserves it. But did you know that he has four guys from UMD on his roster? Can you name them?

EJ Henderson (LB) is the most obvious one, but Shaun Hill (QB), Melvin Fowler (OL), and Jeff Dugan (TE) are also drawing paychecks from the Vikes. He is single-handedly doubling UMD's presence in the NFL.

5. Speaking of firing NFL coaches, anyone want to speculate on which coaches will be fired? In my opinion:
Gone: Tice, Capers
Maybe: Billick, Fisher, Shanahan, Sherman, Haslett

Am I missing anyone? Shanahan is a long shot, but what has he done since Terrell Davis won him two SuperBowls? He's 56-42 in his last six seasons (not including this year) and 0-3 in the playoffs. That averages out to a 9-7 record every year and a loss in the first round of the playoffs every other year. Are the Broncos happy with above-average seasons with minimal chances in the playoffs? It's hard to fire him b/c he's good, but just not great.

Nov 11, 2005

NFL Week 10

I'm gearing up for a huge game Sunday night - Browns trying to knock the Steelers off their perch, and maybe even squeeze back into the wild card race. Charlie Batch is the QB, no one is giving us a chance, our defense is playing surprisingly well...

Can the Browns win? Yes.

Will I predict it? Geez. My heart says yes - 20-17 Browns, but my head just doesn't see it. It will be close, given the fact the Pittsburgh will be limited a bit offensively, but I can't objectively say that our offense will solve Pittsburgh's, given our troubles in the red zone.

My 100% unbiased prediction: Pit 17, Cle 13. Argh.
My 100% biased prediction: Cle 20, Pit 17

On to the rest of the picks:

NYG 31, Min 14. The Giants are the quintessential home team. They will destroy mediocre competition at home.

Chi 23, SF 6. Why will the 9ers score more than 10 points?

Ari 24, Det 17. Just a feeling. Detroit is in a tailspin, and Arizona has enough talent to win a game like this on the road.

NE 27, Mia 16. I refuse to believe that the Pats will fall to 4-5 with a loss here.

Jax 20, Bal 10. Nope - don't see a win here for the Ravens.

KC 24, Buf 20. I can't believe Buffalo is favored. KC needs to win this game to keep pace in the west.

Ind 27, Hou 10. Indy will go back to its ball control ways.

Den 31, Oak 27. An old-fashioned Charlie Jones- Todd Christansen shoot out.

Car 24, NYJ 13. I was slightly impressed by the Jets' O last week; they will score some points in this game.

Sea 31, Stl 28. They always are involved in high-scoring games, aren't they?

Was 16, TB 10. Boy, Chris Simms is not the answer

Atl 27, GB 24. Green Bay will keep games close, but are one Brett Favre interception away from W's.

Phi 23, Dal 16. The Ewing theory?

Best bets: last week: 10-7-2; overall: 79-66-7
17 of them:

NYG -9.5
Chi -13.5
Az +4
NE -3
Jax -6.5
KC +2.5
Ind/Hou Under 45
Den/Oak Over 47
Stl +7
Sea/Stl Over 51
Was +1
Was/TB Under 33 1/2
GB +9.5
Atl/GB Over 42
Phi -3
2 college games:
Texas A&M +13
Wisconsin -2.5

Music

Is there any reliable place out there to get CDs? I usually use the Barnes and Noble internet site to order CDs, but when I want a CD now, I can never seem to find a place that has the selection that is acceptable to my standards, which isn't that high to begin with. I can only imagine what Jay, Curr, and Jon go through with Jon's obscure Dutch bands, Jay's old Blues and Rock bands, and Curr's need to own every U2 and Coldplay live album. I miss the days of CDepot back in college park where you could wander in and waste 45-60 minutes of your day looking through quality CDs, and always finding what you need. Now, I know what I want to buy, but I can't find it anywhere. Walmart and Target is a joke with Best Buy and Circuit City slightly ahead of the other two, but still severely lacking. Today it took me 4 stops to different stores to finally find the Keane album. Their song has been playing non-stop on XM, so I decided to give it a shot. Not too bad, but was it worth the two hours of traveling around to pick it up? Probably not.

Nov 10, 2005

Vegas

So Lee is harping me to guilt my brother and his friend into coming to Vegas during the first week of the NCAA tournament. Eric wants to join us, but his friend is worried about the crowds. Now I can't really argue that, since it is crowded, but when will it not be crowded in the spring in Vegas? Either you got March Madness or spring break going on and it is always a zoo. If everyone would just step up their game a little and play $10 craps and $25 blackjack, we wouldn't have this problem. But anyway here are the reasons why Eric and his friend needs to join us in Vegas;
  • You promised. Two years ago, Lee and I were on the phone getting the confirmation from your wife that you could come out with us this year. You go back on that promise and I'll be forced to let some information slip the next time I talk to your wife.
  • Golfing- We would possibly have the best group of gambling golfers put together in recent years.
  • Craps Dream Team- We are missing Jay on this trip, but with Wiz, Lee, Kermit, you, and myself at the craps table, we could possibly own the entire gaming floor. Everyone would know us for that week due to my over tipping of dealers, your weird sayings that the pit bosses love, and Wiz/Lee handling the casino host. And Kermit would take care of the drink girls of course. And think of the statistical analysis you could do in seeing which is more profitable, place bets or the come line with two distinct think tanks (Lee/Wiz-place bets and you/I-come bets) coming together. I'm getting all excited just thinking about it. Ahhhhhhh!!!!
  • Don't know if I will be able to make another trip out there. I'm going in two weeks. I'm then going back with Lee. Blondie is having his bachelor party in April. That's three trips. Not too sure if I can get back out there for a 4th trip.
  • Sportsbook. Putting you and Wiz together, we could possibly set a record for most women's college basketball wagers. And if you two are doing this, I'm sure Lee and I would join in, resulting in the largest number of weird looks received by strangers as they are trying to figure out why we are all screaming during the end of the TCU-Utah St women's game.
  • As stated before, it is crowded, but it is not a mob scene. If you increase your wages by just $5, the tables really do open up. And if we stay at the Mirage, you won't have all the college kids fucking up your blackjack shit.

So please come with Lee, Wiz, and I!!!!

Nov 9, 2005

Thanks to Laura for forwarding to me this morning. This article made my day!!!! In my prior posts I have complained about kids in Starbucks and the office running around, with the parents just ignoring them thinking that it is OK for them to behave like that. Well, cafe's, coffee houses, and others are now taking action. Good for them!!!!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/09/national/09bakery.html?8hpib

You have to register to read, but here are a couple of excerps from that column that made me smile:
  • "Part of parenting skills is teaching kids they behave differently in a restaurant than they do on the playground,"
  • Kim Cavitt recalled having coffee and a cookie one afternoon with her boisterous 2-year-old when "someone came over and said you just need to keep her quiet or you need to leave"
  • "The looks I would get when I went in there made me so nervous that I would try to buy the food as fast as I could and get out," said Laura Brauer, 40, who has stopped visiting A Taste of Heaven with her two children. "I think that the mothers who allow their kids to run around and scream, that's wrong, but kids scream and there is nothing you can do about it. What are we supposed to do, not enjoy ourselves at a cafe?"
Um, exactly. You don't take your kids to other adult places because they can't act properly, but you think its OK to take them into a cafe which is catering to an adult crowd? You don't see adults reading books or working at a playground or at Chucky Cheese.

TO

Yesterday, after I wrote probably the best post of my life and then had my computer lock up and crash, I was crushed and not motivated to write anything for a while. But then late last night when I was watching Sportscenter and was blindsided by freaking Drew Rosenhaus acting like a guys best friend trying to persuade the ex-girlfriend to take his bud back after he got caught cheating on her. "Listen, he is a good guy, he apologized, and he is a good guy. I know he is a good guy and there are bunch of worse guys out there, and my guy is good." What the fuck was that all about??? First I thought it was another fake event like these Steve Phillips skits (which is possibly the worse thing I have ever seen on TV), but once I realized that it was real I was thinking that the Eagles will probably be stupid enough to take this as a sincere apology and welcome TO back. I really hope not. But then again, it is the Eagles who is like that guy at work who is so desparate that he will date any co-worker despite how crazy these girls might be. And Lee, its not me. For example, a year ago, there was a hot blonde in the office who started to show interest in one of my friends. We then began to find out some really weird shit about her, that I won't go into, but lets just say that she has a couple of notches on her belt for Managers that she has gotten fired due to failed relationships. Well when having the discussion with my friend, he was contemplating going out on a date with her and I said, "Dude, the best case scenario is that you get married to her. There is no middle ground with this girl. If anything goes wrong, it will cost you your job and probably your tires on your car. You know she will go apeshit if you go out with her once, sleep with her, and then stop calling her. SHE IS CRAZY-STAY AWAY!!!" And his response to this all the time was "Well, she is hot", and its very tough to argue against that. And this is just like the Eagles-TO relationship. Everyone knew that TO was crazy, everyone knew what might happen, but the Eagles took a chance hoping to win the Superbowl, but instead lost their job and got their tires slashed. And if you think that no other team will take a chance on a beautiful crazy girl that might take them to the promise land, you are stupid. This is why Farmers has a very large HR group and why NFL teams have large PR groups.

Later this week I'll relate my impending career change to Brittany Spears marriage and the government spending problem with the history of "The Real World"

Nov 7, 2005

It's Monday, November 7

and Pittsburgh still sucks....

A reminder of what happened the last time the Browns and Steelers hooked up on a Sunday night game in Pittsburgh:

Nov 5, 2005

NFL Picks, Week 9

I was going to do a statistical analysis of the new table game, Texas Hold Em Bonus Poker, butthe equations quickly turned ugly. I'd rather do Sudoku puzzles than solve second-order bivariate equations.

Anyway, here we go with week 9:

Min 20, Det 13. Yes, put me down in the "Detroit Doubter" club. And Brad Johnson will do well - he better; I picked him up as an emergency starter in one of myleagues.

SD 20, NYJ 10. Just can't see the Jets scoring a lot of points in this one.

Cle 23, Ten 13. I have a good feeling about this game... no, really! I mean it!

KC 31, Oak 17. Can Oakland really put 3 good games otgether in a row? I say no - it's Norv Turner!

Chi 20, NO 3. If NO could only score 6 last week vs. Mia, what will they do against a team that leads a division and needs every win it can get?

Cin 17, Bal 10. I just don't get any vibe on a Ravens victory here.

Car 24, TB 13. How is TB going to score points? They only put up 10 against the 9ers! (I know, it was on the road, but still -it's SF)

Jax 23, Hou 6. Carr and the Texans come back to Earth...

Mia 27, Atl 20. Upset of the week. Atlanta is not that good. They are one-dimensional on offense, and do not play well on defense.

NYG 24, SF 10. I don't see a repeat of the Redskins blowout here.

Sea 31, Az 17. Why is Green going back to Warner?

GB 23, Pit 20. Farve will find a way. Can't explain this one logically.

Was 20, Phi 13. This one now scares me with the news of Owens' suspension. The team may rally around each other without TO and pull off an upset.

NE 34, Ind 31. Never bet against home underdogs on Monday night - ESPECIALLY if the home underdog is the 2 time defending Super Bowl champion.

Good week last week: 12-6 on best bets: overall: 69-59-5
19 best bets this week:

Min -1
SD/NYJ under 41
KC -4
Chi -3
Chi/NO Under 34
Cin -3
Cin/Bal Under 36 1/2
Car -1.5
Jax -13.5
Jax/Hou Under 37
Mia +3
Atl/mia Over 40
NYG/SF Under 42
Sea -4
GB +4
Was -3
Was/Phi Under 40
NE +3.5
NE/Ind Over 49 1/2

Nov 4, 2005

Random thoughts

The next post will be heavy on the statistics, so here is some light fare for Friday night:

1) Everyone from my generation (born, oh 1968-1976) considers Extreme's "More Than Words" to be one of the top 10 awful songs from our school days.

So why in the hell does this character named "Frankie J" feel the need to remake it? That's like Christina Aguilera remaking Maria Muldour's "Midnight at the Oasis" or something like that...

(and yes, I still have the "Pornograffiti" cassette).

2) I heard the sports news on the radio yeterday, and they played a clip from the Pacers' radio network- the clip was a dunk by Jermaine O'Neal... the announcer referred to him as "J.O."

Um........
That's like if Penn State running back Curtis Enis had a brother named Paul, some announcer would nickname him P-Enis.

I guess there are no more good nicknames anymore.

3) I see that Michael Schiavo has entered the political spotlight and publically announced his support for Tim Kaine. Why does this matter? Is he even a resident of Virginia? And will this turn the election over to Kilgore?

4) Why doesn't anyone like "57 Channels" by Bruce Springsteen?

5) The Grand Victoria casino played - back to back on their soundsystem - "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles, followed by "Knock Three Times" by Tony Orlando & Dawn. I was in heaven. Don Hershey, who was with me, quickly jumped three seats away from me.

Nov 1, 2005

Pet Peeves

Is it just me or does everyone else find it totally appalling to see grown working professionals dress up for Halloween at work? How can you have a meeting with someone wearing a cowboy outfit? I actually yelled at Little Bo Peep yesterday for falling behind on the project plan. I can't deal with this anymore. And I was already in a bad mood since some asshole pissed all over the seat of the designated "Number 2" stall in my office. And it wasn't just a little, it was like the guy was doing pull ups while pissing all over the entire stall and then thinking that this was normal and just leaving!!!!! There will be a full fledged investigation with indictments later on this week.

Other items that just totally makes me go nuts at work:
  • Kids- If another person, brings in their 4 year old in at 1:00pm and then ignores them and lets them run all over the place to terrorize everyone trying to get shit done, I'm going to drop kick them into the parking lot. Now I don't mind infants and new borns, since they don't have the power to snag you stapler and drill it into your knee, or spill your water all over your keyboard, but lets make it as quick as possible and get them out of office. I remember one time back in Baltimore I went in on a Saturday and my clerical supervisor brought in her 6 kids (oldest being 12) while she worked. It was total pandemonium, and it took me almost half the morning on Monday to find all of my stuff.
  • Lunch plans- I need to unwind at lunch, so I either have lunch with Austin, or I go by myself and read the paper. So if I have made it known that I don't want you to associate with me on several different occasions or have chewed you out in a meeting because you can't get something done, please stop asking me if I want to go out to lunch so I don't have to come up with some bullshit excuse.
  • Middle Aged Women (non-management)- Jesus Christ, these women are brutal!!! Not only are they mean to women they don't like in the office, but even to their own friends. They are liars, gossip mongers, and are just plain depressing. If they aren't backstabbing one of their friends, then they are complaining about their husbands or how bad their kids are at home. Heaven forbid if they aren't married or don't have any kids and someone in the office that they don't like is either engaged or pregnant, its turns into depression alley and nobody gets any work done. The only good thing about this is that their anger is always against other women and not the men in the office. Oh and they always bring me in food.

Oct 31, 2005

Thoughts from the Weekend...

Some thoughts from the weekend:

-I have never been a huge supporter of Trader Joes over the years. I think I have been there once over the past 10 years. I was never really interested in all the stuff they had in there since it had a "organic hippy type food" reputation. But two weeks ago I stopped in one that is right next to my house and I absolutely love the place. The produce sucks, their cookies tastes like cardboard, and they do have a lot of crap in there that I'm afraid to even try, but I have found some great things.
  • Marinades- I'm tired of spending $6 for sauces that are just loaded with sugar and basically taste the same. The variety of sauces here are second to none and are outstanding.
  • Wine- I'm a borderline "wine snob", but I love trying small and obscure Cabs, Syrahs, and Pinots that are moderately priced. I have found some gems since I have moved out here that cost only $10 a bottle and rival the $40-$50 bottles, but since moving down to Orange County I have had some trouble finding these types of deals. Trader Joes has a large wine section with nothing but $10 bottles from small CA wineries. I spent close to 30 minutes yesterday trying to pick out 6 bottles to try out.
  • Cheeses- Since I'm struggling to fit into my size 38 pants, despite running 30-45 minutes a day, I have finally decided to cut back my intake of cheese. This is big for me. I think that is the main reason why I've been in a bad mood for the past several months. But then I found this Yogurt Cheese that is not that bad for you and actually tastes like cheese, unlike those other low fat cheeses. This alone will make me go back to the store each time.
  • Milk- For some reason milk is so expensive out here. Actually all diary products are expensive compared to back east. I usually pay $2.99 for one of those small 1/4 gallon containers, but Trader Joes has it for $1.49. Wow, I'm getting old when I'm actually excited about milk prices.
  • The Help- Everyone is so nice there. Its amazing. A young girl actually took the time to help me decide on which cookies and bread to buy. Unlike the unionized check out people at your normal stores, I've actually had some really nice conversations with the check out people. Who would of thought that hippies were so nice.
-Is this the first year where it is harder to pick the worse 5 teams instead of the top 5 teams? I mean who is worse; Baltimore, Cleveland, Minnesota, GB, Houston, Detroit, AZ, Jets, New Orleans, Miami, or San Fran. And you could even throw in Chicago despite them having a winning record. Who has Chicago beaten this year? Detroit twice, Baltimore, and Minnesota. Ugh.

-Bought a nice pair of Johnstone and Murphys about a month ago and they are tearing up my feet. Any ideas on how to soften a shoe so I don't bleed?

-So I really like the new Rev Run show on MTV. I was thinking about why I liked it so much and it dawned on me that reality TV is gone so far overboard, it is actually refreshing and unique to have a reality show about a family that is normal and has some sort of family structure. The Hulk Hogan show is like this and now we have Rev Run.

-Laguna Beach Update: So Jason cheats on LC during the next episode. Hmmm, didn't see this one coming. The highlight of my week has now become the conversations with my mom about the show. Nothing like hearing the words player and slut coming from your mom's mouth.

-The business is taking a beating this year. Ugh. The older clientele is killing us this year. I need to find more 20-25 year old kids that think that they know everything about football.

-Eric is thinking about buying the NBA package since Cleveland might be solid this year. I'm still at a loss for words. This is coming from a guy who couldn't even name two players on the Cavs three years ago to now spending $150 dollars to watch all the games. Why is he buying the NBA package and not the MLB package? Is it marketing? Is it preseason hype? Someone needs to look into this.

-Driving cross country in about a month. Going from Louisville to San Diego. Any ideas on where to stop? Vegas is a given.

Oct 29, 2005

NFL Picks, Week 8

Shake it off - let's just shake off the bad performance of last week.....

Predictions for week 8:

Dal 31, Ariz 16: McCown on the road against a fired-up Dallas D? No. Lots of turnovers and points.

Cin 31, GB 17: GB has no defense. If Cle can score 26, Cinci will score at least 31.

Oak 24, Ten 13. Is this the week the Riaders turn the corner? Always wary about picking the Raiders on the road.

NYG 24, Was 13: The Giants play great at home. Eli will play well, and the D is strong enough to hold washington down.

Cle 20, Hou 13: Please, for the love of God....

Chi 20, Det 10: This talk about Jeff Garcia being the savior kills me. Did anyone watch that game last week? I did. The Browns gave them that game. Garcia was not a spark - the turnovers were. The Bears' D will kill the depleted Detroit offense.

Car 27, Min 13: This pick is easy... too easy, if you ask me. Still, there is no reason why the Panthers shouldn't win by 10 or more.

Stl 24, Jax 21: I like what I saw in Martin at the end of last week's game. St Louis will find a way to win this at home.

NO 27, Mia 16: I just feel like NO is ready to take all their frustrations out sometime.. return home to Louisiana seems like as good a time as any.

SD 31, KC 24: A good old AFC West Shootout. The Chargers will win, I'm not sure of the margin.

Den 27, Phi 17: Somehow, I have Plummer and Bell starting on my fantasy team this week. I think Philly is vulnerable here - and Den should romp.

TB 19, SF 10: What a complete guess at Tampa's total for the game. It could be 13, or 41.

NE 24, Buf 13: Lots of running plays and time-eating possessions. I think NE will be able to punch it in for a TD in the red zone more often than Buffalo.

Pit 27, Bal 10. If this turns into a 31-0 Pit blowout, I'll still watch with a smile on my face.

Best bets: (Last week: 6-11-2; overall: 57-53-5):
Dal -8.5
Dal/Az over 40
Cin -8 *
Oak PK
Oak/Ten Under 46
NYG -2.5
Nyg/Was under 42
Chi +3
Car -7.5
Car/Min Under 45
StL +3
NO -2
Den -3.5
TB/SF Under 36.5
Buf/NE Under 44
Pit -10
and 2 college games:
Ind +18
Iowa St +11.5

Derek's picks are in the comments.

Oct 27, 2005

Let the good times roll....

Ever hear a song that totally triggers a memory that is totally unrelated to the lyrics, and it sends you into a weird trance for as long as you are not disturbed? Today I was driving and NIN- Closer came on XM, and I instantly pictured Richie and his old Prelude parked in Keith's front yard doing "what he does best" while we were all waiting for him to grab a bat and go hit. Then I started to think about how I missed playing and how pitiful I was during our last couple of games, and how sore I was afterwards, but that didn't compare to how sore I used to get playing football. Then it went into playing tackle football back in the day and how great that was with the "chump of the week", Maroon Brad, the double snap to me for our lone completion which was a touchdown to Keith against those Hereford guys who were a couple of years older than us, and how good those guys were, but that didn't compare to playing in college against Dave Fields and the Wu brothers, and how Jay used to play in docksiders and black socks but had the greatest TD dances, and how Blondie and Rico would sell me out on every other play by providing the "Hey..watch out" blocking scheme against that monster black guy that I could actually hear breathing behind me as I tried to get away. Anyway, this went on for about 20 minutes, and I didn't snap out of it until my cell phone rang. This has happened to me on a couple of my drives recently which is very strange. Other songs that triggered these lapses over the past week:

Black Crowes- She talks to Angels- This song made me burst out laughing whenever I hear it since it reminds me of Clucky and the word "juniper". This went into several great memories like the "Philly Sucks" Song, Century Club, Prodigy Internet Service, Basketball Fantasy League, 5 team parlays, and Parks Rum.

Enigma-Sadeness- Ahhhh Laura Lebowitz aka Whora..... This went into a catelog of college romances that sometimes I wish I could forget. I actually hit my steering wheel in anger a couple of times remembering some of the "mistakes" from college.

Pixies-Broken Face- I actually heard this song on Jackass and it triggered all of the stupid shit we all used to do back in day and how much money we all would of made if someone had a video camera. Chris Smith and I in a shopping cart, Richie Keith and I with those fireworks, and Jon and I beating the living shit out of each other which would of put Bam Magera and his Dad to shame.

Random thoughts

Random thoughts, as I run around here at home with a sick kid:

1) You know the "cuckoo" noise on the $25,000 Pyramid (the OLD show - I refuse to watch the Donny Osmond version) - when a contestant says the word he's trying to get his/her partner to say? Wouldn't that be a great noise to have in some hand-held device (like the Taboo buzzer)?

So when Janice and I get into a fight - and she says something illogical, I can just press the button and out comes the "cuckoo" noise from Pyramid. Boy, it would be worth the 7 nights on the couch for that one moment.

2) I'm not home during the day that often - I'd say once every two months or so - but whenever I am, the Maury episode is ALWAYS one about DNA paternity tests. Is this all he runs, or am I just blessed?

3) I'm still bummed about the Browns loss on Sunday. That one hurt. Derek said to me that I should be upset over last week's loss at Baltimore, but this one hurt even more -at home, to a team with many injury problems and a defense that no one has starting on their fantasy team.
This loss has forced me to re-look at all parts of the team, and readjust my thoughts. And that's painful.

And we have Houston coming up. Oh God, if we lose....

4) What a great day for conservatives - and, more importantly, for populists - with the Miers nomination being withdrawn. It's nice to see that regular folks can rise up and make a difference. I believe that's what happened here. The backlash from the voters who voted for Bush (not all voters, but those who supported Bush) put enough pressure in the right places to make this happen.

Let's make sure we can affect policy in other ways, too, like the porkbusters activity with Sen. Coburn (R-OK) taking the lead.

For the love of God, we have Republican congressmen saying "there's no pork in the budget" (DeLay) and "Critics of the bridge funding can kiss my ear" (Young, referencing the bridge to nowhere).

The populist republicans must revolt now to get the message across before disaster awaits in 2006. Democrats failed (or refused) to see the tidal wave in 1993; some of us see it now and are trying to change course quickly.

Oct 26, 2005

Wow

Is it just me or is everyone else as excited about this "Trading Spouses" episode next Wednesday that I keep seeing during the World Series. Thank God I have Tivo.

Nothing else to comment about since the World Series is pretty boring, I've been working non stop, and the only thing I've done in my free time is catch up on season 6 of West Wing. 16 straigh hours of West Wing and I feel like a politcal operative that could get Eric elected to the Cedar Rapids City Council next week. All I need is Donna, that deaf chick to do my polling, and a sit room.

Oct 24, 2005

Hardball Times

Two great articles this morning over at HardballTimes.com dealing with last nights game and Gold Gloves.

Aaron Gleeman takes a closer look at last nights game between the Sox and Astros and breaks down all of the coaching issues on both ends. Really interesting.
http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/playing-in-the-rain/

David Glasko uses his "Range" formula to decipher who should win this years Gold Gloves. Jeter once again is slammed by the stat guys for being overrated at SS, and ARod was trashed as well. A couple of great comments on several bad players, and is worth a read.
http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/2005-gold-gloves/

Oct 23, 2005

Walk Offs

Quick question. Who is the biggest pussy to hit a walk off homer in the World Series? Chad Curtis or Scott Podsednik?

World Series of Poker

Has anyone watched the main event over the weekend? I'm sure that I'm watching a repeat since the tournament was like 5 months ago, but they have this guy that plays with his feet. He only has one arm and it is cripple, so he has learned to look at his cards with he freaking feet. What the F????? It was so disturbing that I had to fast forward it everytime he was on. And on a side note I'm beginning to love Phil Hellmuth. Too bad that I'm just about fed up with both playing and watching poker.

Winter is here!?!?


I checked weather.com today and saw this on our radar this morning. What is that white stuff out in the west??

It's a refreshing 32 degrees at 7 am. I'm serious! It's great!

Oct 22, 2005

Sports-related

Just to try to balance my long rambling baby entry, here's a quick sports rant:

I fucking HATE the dumb-ass diamond cam that Fox is using. It's a completely worthless view that adds absolutely nothing. I hate it more than I hate Tim McCarver (no small statement), but less than I hate Tony Siragusa. Tony Siragusa actually makes me dumber by listening to him.

Baby Timeline

Since it's Saturday night and I have nothing better to do, I thought that I'd give you guys the recap of us having our kid. Not that you care, but you've been bitching about no one else contributing, so watch out what you ask for.

3:30 AM - Katie wakes me up telling me that she is having contractions. Tells me that her water broke at 2:30AM and she's been timing the contractions for the last hour. Bless her for letting me sleep, but I could not be more confused at this point. The doctors tell you that you have to be having contractions for a while and they have to be coming pretty frequently before you call them. I guess that they get a lot of people coming in and actually send a lot of them home, because they could be in labor for hours before it really gets to the point where they need to act. From 3:30 AM to about 4:00AM I am get up, get dressed, get my contacts in, and try to figure out just what the fuck is going on.

4:15 AM - We call the OB/GYN and let her know the deal and they we are headed to the hospital. She confirms everything and OKs us to head to the hospital.

4:30 AM - Leave for the hospital. It's not really as hectic as the movies would make you believe, but contractions sound to me like Katie is getting stabbed every 10 minutes. Doubling over in pain--not screaming--but it really looks like it hurts. The nice thing about going into labor at 4:30AM is that there really isn't much traffic on the roads. Which is a real bonus if you know anything about the DC area rush hour. I'm debating in my head how fast I can drive without Katie noticing that we are speeding excessively. Turns out that you can go just about as fast as you want when you wife is in labor, but I settle in at about 90 mph.

5:00 AM - We're checked into the hospital and in the labor and delivery room. The nurse checks Katie out and says that she's 5 cm dilated. You gotta get to 10 cm to deliver the kid, so we're actually doing pretty well. BTW, you don't want to know how they check to see how dilated you are.

6:00 AM - Contractions are coming pretty fast and furious, so they call for the epidural. Probably about 6 cm at this point.

6:30 AM - 7 cm and moving fast at this point. Guy comes in for the epidural and has somewhat of a hard time with it. An epidural is when they inject the painkiller via a big-ass needle directly into the spine in the small of your back--just above where the slut tattoo would be. I get queasy around needles, so this guy repeatedly sticking a big needle into my wife's back is not good times for the home team. He gets it to go just in the nick of time, for me and Katie. He promises that it will take effect within 15 minutes, and damn if he isn't right on.

6:45 AM - Sitting pretty. Epidural has kicked in, and we're at about 8 cm. The thing about the epidural is that it slows down the contractions, so the OB/GYN stops in around this time and checks everything out. She predicts that we'll have the kid by noon.

7:00 AM - Calls go out to family members, contractions slow and the pain is minimal. Better living through chemistry.

9:00 AM - Katie's mom shows up. Katie stops reading US Weekly long enough to talk to her mom and they discuss how hard she had it when she had Katie. Blah, blah, blah. I'm tuning out and wondering if there are any hot nurses in this place.

10:00 AM - OB/GYN (Dr. Anderson) comes in and tells us that she's got a hysterectomy (sp?) and she'll be back by 11 AM to deliver the kid. Still sticking to the noon prediction.

11:30 AM - She shows back up and we start to push. The only way I can describe it is that it's like trying to take a dump if you were really constipated. Imagine trying to take a 6-8 pound dump. (Might be easier for some of us to imagine than others--Derek, I'm looking in your direction.)

12:00 PM - No baby, but we're making progress. Looks like we'll have something within the hour. OB/GYN (Dr. Anderson) leaves and another doc from her practice tags in. I've heard about the "hot doctor" and here she is. Dr. Manaavi is probably 40-43 years old, 5' 8", 125 lbs, and blonde. She's not stopping traffic, but she definitely is hot.

1:00 PM - No baby, and we're starting to wonder what is going on. The baby's head gets right to the end when Katie pushes and then, when she stops, the baby goes back a couple of inches. We do this back and forth for the next couple of hours.

2:30 PM - They tell us that we've been pushing for about 3 hours and they usually don't let people push more than 2 hours. We're getting to the point where we need to make a C-section decision. It's something that we wanted to avoid, but it looks like it's increasingly likely.

3:00 PM - We've tried just about everything and we can't figure out what's going on. It seems like something is holding her back and the doctor guesses that the cord may be wrapped around her arm or something and may not be letting her out. We schedule for a C-section and they wheel her to the OR.

3:30 PM - Katie's in the OR getting prepped and I'm in the hallway pulling the paper scrubs over my clothes and waiting for the nurse to let me into the OR. They let me in and I try not to look at the incision. There are 2-3 nurses around Katie plus the doctor, with nurses walking around doing all kinds of other things. Add in an anathesologist (sp?) and we're talking about approx. 8 people in the room doing all kinds of things. I walk in and Katie is gulping for air like a fish out of water. The anathesologist assures me that she is OK, but it looks like she's had the wind knocked out of her. Scary as shit. Turns out the epidural wore off and they had to give her what they call a "spinal", which is another shot directly into the spine. The catch is that they put it up around the area between the shoulder blades and it means that you can't feel yourself breath. Scary, but she's getting enough oxygen and the feeling will wear off in a minute or so.

3:38 PM - Sydney is born! The doctor pull her out and holy shit, it's a bloody mess. We didn't find out the sex, so the doc hold her up and asks me if it's a boy or girl. First of all, newborns are this weird purple color until they breathe a couple of times to get oxygen and pink up. Second, they are covered in blood and this weird white-ish crap that protects their skin while they are in the womb. Third, she's got the cord draped between her legs and into Katie's gut. With all of this, I'm supposed to tell you if it's a boy or a girl?!?!? "It's a...girl?" I say/ask timidly. Correct answer! As I stand up to follow her to the clean-up area, I sneak a peek into the incision. Wow. I won't go into it here, but it's amazing to see the insides of another person.

BTW, it turns out that the cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that's what was holding her up. Yikes.

4:30 PM - Katie is out and in the recovery area and they leave us with the baby. Just weird and surreal. They really are just leaving us here with this kid? One of us just had major surgery, and the other one barely knows which end of the baby to hold up. This is already looking like it might end in disaster.

7:00 PM - We are checked into our recovery room--what an experience. And it's just begun.

So that's what I've been doing for the last three weeks or so...