This is what happens when no one else writes.....

As I prepare for my impeding move to the OC, I figured that I would do some spring-cleaning on my wardrobe. Since I’ve been single for about 3 years now, my collection of shitty clothes has grown to an almost uncontrollable level. Actually being single has nothing to do with it, since I have two full dresser drawers of tee shirts, most of which are from my college days. I have enough shirts, socks, and underwear to last about 90 days without doing laundry. I’m still amazed I was able to hold off multiple attacks from past girlfriends and my mother in throwing out some of the 62-logo tee shirts that I have. So last night, while watching the A’s and hopped up on Benadryl and Johnnie Walker, I decided to cut down the number of tee shirts to 30. I was able to get down to 36, with the below shirts not making the cut.

• 5 Gap tee shirts from 4 years ago that I bought when I was in shape and working out. Now these tee shirts don’t even fit over my stomach and the sleeves just barely cover my shoulders. What the fuck was I thinking?
  
• 2 Maryland Shirts: I can’t believe I still have these. These were the free white Tee shirts we got during our freshman year with the Toyota ad on the back.
  
• 4 Tee shirts from my brother: For some reason when Eric was traveling to Mississippi, he picked me up a Biloxi Grand Casino and Jim Bean tee shirt (with matching hat). I’m also tossing an ESPN shirt from Disney World and some weird golfing tee shirt with the saying “Its not the size of your shaft but how long you can drive it in her” or something like that.
  
• 3 Zurich Shirts with our company goals on it. Yeah, that’s something I’ll wear out.
  
• One shirt from my old apartment complex commemorating the 2002 Renovations.
  
• The one that I hate to get rid the most because it has been with me for the longest was the 1989 Jose Canseco tee. This is a 16-year-old tee shirt that has made it through college, 12 moves, and multiple attempts by many people to chuck it. It has two massive holes under the armpits, the collar is no longer there, and there are holes around the logo.
  
• There were another 10 tees from different parts of the country like Black Bear Tavern in Deep Creek, a bunch of San Diego shirts, New Orleans, and the Hard Rock in the Bahamas. The Detroit Tigers tee from their last season in the old Tiger stadium didn’t make the cut either.