Paul Lynde, for the block

Got back from Ames last night - a 7th place finish. Not too bad, given what transpired on Thursday.

This is a course that has no real trees to speak up - so the defense of the course is the wind and the "scottish" heather set up on the sides of most fairways. The fairways are generou s- about 30-35 yds wide - and about 5 more yards of plain rough - but if you miss that, you aredead. Sometimes it is the wispy heather; sometimes it is a hazard (lakes, marhses), and on some holes, OB awaits. So hitting the driver well is essential.

I was -1 thru 4, which included some Nathan Lane-type antics when my 50' for birdie on 3 was dead in the cup with 6 inches to go - yet somehow lipped out. I hit a bad tee shot on a par 3 (bogey) and a bad approach on 6 (another bogey). +1 thru 6 with 2 mistakes. The 7th hole had OB left, and unfortnately I duck hooked it. The ball bounced in the fairway as it was heading left, took two bounces and disappeared. I got up near the ball - the officials painted a white line just inside of the heather, signifying OB. However, right around where my ball was, the white line diverged into two - one line stayed on the inside part of the heather, but another white line appeared to go 10-15 yards deeper into the weeds and continued on down the hole. My ball, of course, was in between the two lines.

Long story short, I was ruled to be OB and I took a 7. After 9, I played halfway decent, 6 greens, and shot 39. Argh. The back nine was uninteresting but solid - one biride and one brain lock on a 500 yard par 5 that resulted in a 6 - until 18.

18 has water right and heather left. For whatever reason, the block appeared on that tee and my ball went dead right. There wasn't a question - splash. I had to drop about 100 yards from the tee, resulting in a 320 yd approach shot. Oh yeah, I got that in the bag. I hooked a 3 wood into a bad lie, punched up near the green and made a horrendous chip. Two more putts resulted in a 7.

I was in a complete fog for an hour after the round; I almost ran two stop signs and when I drown my sorrows at a Chiniese buffet, I collided into a waitress. "Oh! So sorry...more lo mein?"

So after hitting the ball well, two mistakes cost me 5 strokes.

Friday was the opposite; I hit two drives well all day, but solid irons (and a 205-yd 5 wood into the wind to 12' for a birdie on 15) kept me in the game, and I somehow shot 72. Every drive I hit was a severe draw - not quite as bad as a dead hook spatula, but certainly uglier than a draw. I parred 7 and 18, by the way, going 5-4 when I went 7-7 on Thursday.

I'm still stuck on the block from Thursday and am thinking I was scared of doing it again all day Friday. So now I'm lost with the driver when, 10 days ago, I couldn't hit irons. I hate golf.