CBS NFL Announcers

Slow day here at work...
1) Listening to Mike and Mike this morning, they played a highlight from the Lakers' game.
Who had the play-by-play on the Lakers' radio network (KLAC)?

Our friend Spero Dedes.

So let's review. The CBS announcers for the 3rd level (and worse) NFL games are:
Gus Johnson - radio voice of the Knicks
Ian Eagle - radio/TV voice of the Nets
Craig Bolerjack - TV voice of the Jazz
Kevin Harlan - TV voice of the Timberwolves
and now
Spero Dedes - radio voice of the Lakers

Which begs the question - what kind of salaries do NBA teams give out for their commentators? These guys have to moonlight on the side to earn money.

It's no wonder that they suck. They have no time to prepare for the game! Seriously, if you are doing 3 Knicks games per week, when do you have time to study the rosters of the Texans/Titans to prepare for a game on Sunday?

Gumbel is the #1 announcer, Enberg is #2....we've named the rest of the CBS crew (who all hold NBA jobs) except for.......

2) Don Criqui. I really want to know what happened to this guy. Please correct me, but Don and Bob Trumpy formed the #1 team for NBC in the mid-late 80s. If Criqui did the game, you knew it was a big one.
Now, he's doing the 5th-6th best AFC games on CBS.

I really want to know the story - we need to hire E! to do a one hour show on him. The rise of Criqui, the fall (which I'm guessing has to be a gay affair with Dick Stockon - it's the only logical reason why these two are still at their jobs after being at their peaks 15-25 years ago), and rise again.

He must be desperate for work. Is this like trying to find a babysitter - your 1st, 2nd , 3rd options are gone, and now you have to settle for the 15-year-old who you SWEAR stole $20 off teh dresser the last time she came over? Do CBS Executives have the same kind of conversations?

CBS Exec (muttering to himself): "I can't believe Gus Johnson is doing skiing for us on
Saturday... damn him..... oh God, let's call Criqui"

(phone rings)

Criqui: "Hello, now here's Don Criqui!"

CBS Exec: "Yeah, Don, this is CBS again. Listen, we have an opening for..."

Criqui: "I'll take it!"

CBS Exec: "But you don't know what it is yet!"

Criqui: "I know...but it's work! Yeah baby, back in action!"

CBS Exec: "All right, it's NFL, on Sunday, but it's Cleveland and Miami"

Criqui:"Damn! I got a good one!"

CBS Exec: "Um, Don? They're both 3-6"

Criqui: "Dilfer! Rosenfels! It's the NFL on CBS! Next week, it's regional action on CBS, where most of you will see me in Tempe, watching a titanic struggle between the Jaguars and the Cardinals!"

CBS Exec: "Um... OK, whatever. Show up at 11:59 in Cleveland, please. Thanks."

The sad thing is that I'm not annoyed by his play-by-play at all. It's mildly entertaining. I could go into a mock play-by-play, but since most of the readership watches good football (or FOX), no one would appreciate it.

One more thing.. if this picture doesn't creep you out, nothing will.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/cbssports/team/dcriqui

Enough for now. It's true, Criqui is doing the Cleveland game (2nd in 3 weeks) this weekend.