Went to the Dentist today. Haven't been in 8 years. The Dental Assistant was so unbelievably cute (an easy 10, since I'm a sucker for a girl in any kind of uniform) that when she asked me why I haven't been to the dentist in 8 years, I lied to her and told her I was in Europe and I didn't trust them over there. She seemed to buy into it, but the Dentist didn't. He asked me where I was at in Europe and I said Zurich (since I know some of the information on the town), and he said that they had a better dental system than the states. The DA stayed in the room with us for the entire consultation, which sucked since the Dentist put up pictures (not X-Rays, but pictures) of my 3 cavities and my gums up on a 36 inch TV.
After the consult, the DA took me out to schedule when I'll have all my work completed and she kept on touching my arm and smiling at me, and I made such a bad joke and she couldn't stop laughing at it. So, do you think that I should ask her out on Friday when I go back to the Dentist when I get all my work done?
5 comments:
I'd wait until after the work, it is tough to get chicks when your mouth looks like Beetlejuice.
You seriously made my day, as I went to the dentist for the first time in six years last month. I quipped, "is this lapse between visits the worst you have ever seen?", and it got a long pause by the whole office, followed by a change of subject, as if I had asked if cousin Johnny was up for some drinkin', not knowing he had been run over by a bus on Monday.
Potential Downside:
1. (50% chance) You ask her out and she says no.
Result: The embarassment of having to ever see her again leads you to find a new dentist. No big deal, it doesn't sound like you have that much invested in this dentist.
2. (40% chance) She goes out with you and realizes what a jackass you are and dumps you within a week.
Result: The embarassment of having to ever see her again leads you to find a new dentist. Further, you would be adding her name to the ever-growing list of ladies in the Southern California area who have taken a ride on the DZ love train and bailed at the first exit ramp.
Potential Upside:
1. (9% chance) She is not immediately repulsed by you.
Result: Couple of dates, maybe a hook-up. Major upgrade from status quo.
2. (1% chance) Instant connection. Oral on the way home followed by you bending her over your kitchen counter b/c you couldn't wait to get to your bedroom (and you didn't want her to see your Canseco/McGwire Bash Brothers poster above your bed.)
Result: She'll probably dump you in 6 months, but who fucking cares?!?!?
Recommendation: GO FOR IT!!!
Do it.
For the abundance of oral jokes alone it's worth the potential of having to find a new dentist.
Ask her out - Sack up!!
Linda Nelson
Two things.
First - ask her out, you sissy.
Second - I now feel much better about the fact that I haven't been to a dentist in damn near 8 years, if not longer. And you will probably feel much better about your visit once I finally go and tell you about the multiple root canals that will most likely be required to restore my teeth to a reasonable condition. Of course, I'm not scheduling that appointment until I have dental insurance, which is at least a month away.
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