I'll make this quick and get right to the point. I like to be left alone on planes. Even when I'm flying with co-workers, I would rather them just shut up and let me do some work. Even if its a hot chick, I end up making some small talk for about 5 minutes and it quickly turns into the me explaining how you can hear the pilots on channel 7 and then I freeze up, turn on my computer and not say another word to them for the entire flight. Tonight, I end up boarding a Southwest flight to Oakland and there are only middle seats left. I spot out two women of medium size and decide to sit between them, since I need enough room to do some work. Right as I sit down, the one women in the window seat offers to switch with me since she thinks I will uncomfortable in the middle seat. She actually called me "large" twice trying to explain to the other lady why she was offering to switch. I accept and offer to buy her a drink in return but declines. To cut to the chase, we end up talking for a little bit and find out that she is 25, works for LexisNexis, is slightly above average looking, and loves wine and A's. That's right she loves the A's and Barry Zito. So the plane lands, and I'm packing up my laptop, she gives me her card and tells me to call her if I ever need her help using the search engine on lawsuits even though I told her that we use her main competitor. I find that a little odd and thought it was an opening, so as I was mentally putting together a quick battle plan to ask her to go to the A's game with me when the fucking lady in the aisle seat said out of the blue "It was nice meeting you both and you two should really exchange numbers and get married." ????????? What? For once I actually took the time to talk to someone on a plane, actually had a good conversation, had something in common, and had a perfect opening, and this lady fucks it up. Still went through with it, but it was rushed and wasn't exactly how I planned it. She gave me one of those "Well I would really love to, but I'm here visiting my father who is in the hospital" lines. Hmmm. Don't think she will be picking up her cell phone if a 818 area code shows up anytime this weekend.
This is why I never make moves on a plane...only on the street.
4 comments:
The married line was fantastic.
There is nothing I hate more than being on a plane within earshot of some tool pitching game. Normally he is of the crew-cut and tribal tattoo variety, and cannot see the woman has no interest in him, but is only being nice.
Serves you right for flying SouthWorst.
yeah, I'm sure all my friends can attest to the fact that I don't have game and would not be one of those guys, despite the fact that I was thinking about getting a tattoo of Lil Kim on my back.
i only wish she would've let you bed her. how quickly her opinion of you being large would've changed.
Can I get this straight?
You won't ask women out on planes
You won't ask women out in dental offices
I think you won't ask women out in bars
So where will you ask women out?
Do I have to go John Houseman on you?
"Good women don't come up, bite you on the bottom, and say 'we're here!'"
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