Where do I begin?

Wow - what a trip. I'm just starting to get back to normal after the 4-day Vegas trip in which I had a total of, oh, 21 hours of sleep from Wednesday morning to Monday afternoon. I've slept 9-10 hours on Mon and Tue night and still am nowhere near caught up.

So many stories from this trip, and not all are gambling related! Let's start with the diary for the first couple of days and see where that gets us...

Wednesday, 10 pm
Arrive at the casino, and find Kermit. Mer is already down big and is playing the nickel slots as a rest. Hoo boy, this can't be good. He then convinces me to play 3 card poker. That's the first gambling I do this trip - 3 card poker.
Kermit plays the "Pair Plus" only, I play the normal way (ante and then play). The cars are dealt- 3 at a time - to me first, then to Kermit (on 3rd base), then the dealer.
Well, after about 30 minutes of this, I am up about $100. Not a bad way to start! I get up to leave.
"Where are you going?" Kermit says.
I'm up, and going to quit while I'm ahead....
"You're going to mess with the table. Now the dealer is going to get all my cards...and watch, they'll be good ones."
Sure enough, the first hand after I stand up - Mer has nothing, the dealer has a pair. The secodn hand: nothing for Kermit, the dealer has a straight.

I run away from the table.

I find a few others, including Wiz, about 30 minutes later. Wiz and I are walking around, when we get close to the 3 card poker table. Wiz and Kermit have not met, so I wanted to introduce them.

Before I can get within 40 feet of Kermit, all I can see are flying middle fingers at me.

"Kermit, let me introduce you to..."
"You Mother Fucker! You owe me $600!!!"
"What? How?"
"The dealer just had a straight flush! He's been hot since you stood up! That straight flush was 40-1! That's $600!"
A long pause....
"Um, Kermit, have you met Wiz? He's one of Derek's friends..."
"Fuck you...(talking to me, not Wiz). You still owe me $600....."

Well, this is getting off to a nice start. After a disastrous Pai Gow session and a losing Craps sessions, I go to bed around 2, 2:30 on the couch. I set my alarm for 5:30 so I can run over to the Mirage and place the sports bets before golf....

Thursday, 4:15 am
Well, that didn't work. Here I am, wide awake on 1 3/4 hours of sleep. I run over to the Mirage, and then find that the book doesn't open until about 5:45. I get my wagers in , take a shower, get in the car and play in a fivesome with Mike, Don, Kermit and Jeff M, one of Layup's friends. Oh - and Andre, the caddy.

The golf was good - the caddy was a bit superflous - but we were all tired by the back nine. I found out who my real friends were on the 5th hole, however.....

I had a downhill, left-to-right putt for a par of about 4 feet. Now, the left-to-righters are the hardest to make for a right hander, since it is a natural tendency to either a) guide the putter's path to the hole, causing a push, or to b) lift the head up and push as well. These are the putts that take the longest to feel comfortable with early in the season.

Well, here I am, with my back to everyone, and I ease up on the putt and lift up slightly and the ball grazes the right lip and misses. Damn. Then I hear commotion behind me.

"Oh, we made a bet on this putt. Someone won $5."

And dammit, I can't remember now who bet with me or against me.

We get back from golf - Jeff smoked us all (his swing was impressive), and I took a short nap in the room. I woke up in the second half of the Stanford-Cornell game (you don't tell time in Vegas this weekend by a clock, you use basketball games as a reference) and head downstairs.

Another losing craps session and off I went to the book. Placed bets and then came upstairs, finding an open blackjack table. We all - 6 of us? - sit down. Kermit is 3rd base.

Well, Wiz finds himself with a 4-2 (for a total of 6) against a dealer 6. He promptly doubles. He gets a 2 - for a total of 8. Kermit mumbles something about not being a move "by the book", and of course we all lose the hand.

"You don't double on 6!" Kermit argues.
"Yes you do - the dealer has 6 - you want all the money on the table with a 6 showing!" Wiz replies
"Is that what the card says?" asks Kermit. Wiz looks. "No...."
"No... " Kermit repeats.
Wiz protests anyway - "but you should put all your money out there with a 6 showing!"
"Well then maybe you should write your own card, then!"
"Maybe I will!" Wiz responds.......

The sides were drawn. I think I'm on Kermit's side for this one. The card is drawn up for a reason.......

I watch the basketball games in Jay-Z's sports lounge/nightclub where I am clearly the whitest person there, and then we go to dinner. After some more non-descript gambling, I think, we got to bed around 12:30 or so. I have taken my contacts out and am wearing a Browns t-shirt and mesh shorts. I need to take a dump. I open the bathroom stall door...

"Occupied!" shouts a cheery voice from the can. Of course, it is Kermit.
"Mer, how long?" I ask desperately.
"It's not going to be short....."

I pace around the room for about 5 minutes.

"Kermit?"
"Why don't you go downstairs?"

So that's what Don and I do - in our sleepwear, we plod through the casino to do our nightly business.