Glenngary Glenn Ross

So a couple a weeks ago Eric and I were joking around and were doing some old quotes from the movie Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. A little known movie that starred Al Pacino, Alex Baldwin, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon, and Kevin Spacey. We were trying to use the quotes to describe what might happen in Vegas. It was so fucking funny that both Eric and I were crying. If your going to Vegas and you haven't seen the movie, watch it. I'm sending it to Lee tomorrow. Anyway, here are a few scenerios that Eric and I thought of on how to apply the lines in Vegas.

1. Wiz complains to Eric about shitty cards at the BJ table. Eric's response will be

Wiz "These cards are weak."

Eric "The cards are weak." The fucking cards are weak? You're weak!"

2. Mike is at the craps table. Some moron bumps into him while he is rolling. Don turns to him and uses the Pacino quote of;

"You stupid fucking cunt. You, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead."

3. After Eric hits a 4 team parlay. Eric will come running over to Don and Mike at the Poker table.

"Get the chalk. Get the chalk. Williamson, Put me on the board. Put me on the Cadillac board.

4. Lee is at the BJ table with Wiz. Lee needs to use the BJ card for the 400th time during the session. Wiz looks at Lee and states

"You have the memory of a fucking fly."

5. Micah, Wiz, and Lee are all doing very well at the Pai Gow table. I walk up and everyone losses. Micah turns to me and says

"Will you go to lunch. WILL you GO to LUNCH."

6. Micah asks Eric for some picks. Eric looks at Micah and says

"These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers."

7. And then he follows up with...

"And to wish you good luck would only be a waste."

8. Some stranger tries to make small talk with Kermit at the BJ table.

Stranger: "So, what's your name?"

Mike: "Fuck you, that's is my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name. "

9. Someone asks Wiz where Eric is?

"I'm not a leash, so I don't know."

10. Lee and Don are getting some coffe in the morning after a long losing streak the night before. Eric walks up and states

"Put that coffee down. Coffee is for closers."

11. Kermit is bragging to Eric about how well he did at slots the night before.

Eric: "You're such a hero, you're so rich, how come you're coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums? "

Kermit: "You see this watch? That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids."

12. Don is getting killed at the BJ table. We all walk up to him and he points to the dealer and says

"That guy's a fuckin' asshole. Anybody who talks to that asshole is a fuckin' asshole."

13. Don and Eric are playing craps. The dealer can't pay out correctly and continues to slow down the table. Eric yells out

"WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to FUCK-US-UP to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living... You fairy. You company man."

14. Eric gives three picks to me to use in his parlay.

Eric: I'm giving you three picks.

Derek : Three? No I count two.

Eric: There's three picks there.

Derek: "Clemson? Fuck you. Fucking Clemson couldn't win a game if they tried. Fuck you, Eric! You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an asshole. I find out whose fucking cousin you are, I'm going to go to him and figure out a way to have your ass - fuck you!"

I'm sure there are more, but I've got to go to bed now. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, then I'm sure you're probably thinking that I'm crazy.