OK it is Saturday morning and I'm finally feeling back to normal. Here is the story:
Like most males I only go to the doctor if 1) I'm bleeding internally 2) I am missing an appendage 3) My wife tells me I have to go. So I went to the doctor for a "routine" physical on Wednesday morning. I feel fairly certain that there is nothing routine about having another man squeeze and rotate your testicles, but thats just me. Anyway, nearing the end of the exam he says "OK, we just need to do the rectal exam". At this point I am sure I had the Troy Aikman face going pretty good. At first I thought OK that isn't too bad I can take it, then he starts digging around like someone who is trying to find some lose change in a backpack. I'm just waiting for him to scratch the back of my teeth, ouch!!! Finally, I'm walking around like John Wayne and they tell me I need to get a booster shot of some kind. I guess I needed a shot since I was just violated.
Later that evening Laura asks me how I'm feeling and I say "Let's see, I've had my balls squeezed a few times, had a needle in my arm, and I was ass-raped... I feel great!!"
Bottom line, stay away from the doctors.
2 comments:
Had this happen to me at the dentist last time. Very weird.
Jay, you're going to the wrong doc. I know that RRD is pissed at her receptionist, but my doc is hot. I haven't had the pleasure of an ass-rape during a physical yet, but when she checks my sac, it's all I can do to keep from getting a chubb. Combine her fondling my nuts with a low cut shirt--oh my! I end up trying to recite the Orioles' starting lineup in order to keep my mind off of things. It's either that or the doc is going to get busted in the chin...
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