Crazy shit went down during the last two days at my beach. Yes, my beach. I own it. Tuesday Evening: 7:00pm: I went for a nice long slow run down at the beach. Felt really good starting out and at the 2.5 mile mark of the run, right as I was about to turn around and come back, I suddenly had to puke. Not too sure why since I wasn't tired or sick, but it was something that came on me in a span of like 10 seconds. I had no time to run to the bathroom or try to dig a hole in the sand. So I just bent over and let it loose. Just such a nice scene for that one young couple walking my way, probably on their honeymoon trying to enjoy the beach during the sunset. And it was a loud puke since I dry heaved about 5 times before anything came out since I had only eaten some toast and a yogurt before my run. Ugh.
Wedensday Evening 7:00pm: Had a long day at work so I decided to take a long walk down at the beach, talk to Ariel, and smoke a nice cigar that one of my supervisors gave me last week. I ended up taking Ben's Ipod with me just in case my phone died so I had something to listen to while I walked. When I got down to the beach, the water looked so nice, I decided to go in up to my knees while talking to Ariel, so I put the Ipod in my shoes, placed them in the sand, and started to walk in. I was standing there in the surf for about 10 minutes when I got blindsided by what seems to of been a 4 foot rouge wave. After I quickly recover, I see that this wave is easily going to engulf my shoes and Ben's Ipod. While still talking to Ariel, I make a 20 yard sprint to the shoes, rescuing the Ipod, but dropping the phone and lossing my other shoe. And to top it off I sort of slipped trying to reach for the phone as it fell and now I'm caked in sand. In normal Derek style, I call Ariel back and then decided to finish my cigar while lying in the sand and spread out like one of those Playboy models. Once again there were plenty of couples walking around to see this display, and now I could tell that they were all judging me on my decision to lay around in the sand. Fuck em.
8:00pm: I get a call from Lee as I'm walking up a little dirt trail to get up to the main trail that takes me back to my place. As I get to the top of the little trail, I see a what looks like a house cat walking my way, but I really can't tell since its getting dark. As it get closer, it doesn't look like a normal cat. And then it comes right up to me and stops and just stares at me. Classic Mexican Standoff. Yes, a little pee came out since I was scared shitless and for once nobody was around to either help or give advice. This thing doesn't have any tags on it and it looks exactly like the picture above. Come to find out it is a Margay, which is native to Central and South America and tends to be extremely popular in the US as an exotic pet. After the cat made me his bitch, it went on its way walking up the trail and I ran like a little school girl home, never to leave my couch again.
4 comments:
Tues...So you started living at what was a popular reality tv show place, now its a hot spot for honeymooners???
Wed 7...That's my boy, blue.
8. That's my girl.
Gooch, I live on the grounds of the St. Regis and I'm right across the street from the Ritz. So yes, these two hotels on the beach are considered honeymoon spots. Or maybe just romantic getaways, but either way, I put on quite a show.
As I've told you many times, never bring anything to the beach. It's salt, sand, and water; it's no place for personal belongings or personal hygiene for that matter. And don't even get me started on towels. What's the point? True without a towel you have to deal with the sand surveyor/cleaniless patrol person in your group who upon seeing you lay down in the sand has to remark, "Gross, I think I just saw a margay piss there. Don't you have a towel?" or some other stupid shit. Ipods, wallets, towels, food, cell phones. No, no, and no at the beach. You're just asking for it. I'll give you shoes, and maybe a ball (preferably something you're planning to sacrifice to the surf soon anyway), and some lotion, but really you can just use margay piss for that.
Let me just tell you that talking to Derek on the phone during his "Big Cat" encounter was one of the highlights of my last few months. I can only describe it as he "squeaked" as he encountered the cat. I think that I actually heard him piss himself. Highest of high comedy.
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