All nighter at O'Hare

I had a long post about this weekend at Eric's house, but I decided that I should probably make some comments about my all nighter (in progress) at Chicago's O'Hare Airport thanks again in part to United. Now I won't totally bash United since they gave me an out and I decided to gamble, hoping that I could make my connection to LA, but I was roughly 15 minutes late. Now its 11:20pm and I have to wait until 6:00am to ride standby to LA. I need to somehow get on that flight so that I can get to LA, drive about 2 hours south in morning traffic to get changed and then drive back up to LA by Noon for my diversity job fair. Ugh. Here are some comments and tips to make your all night stay in an airport a little more comfortable.

• The underground walkway between terminal C-B is such a waste of money. I think that I'm the only person that enjoys this, since I'm always getting pushed to the side as I'm trying to enjoy all the different colors. I guess nobody likes flashing neon anymore except for me and the local retards?
• Seating. It seems as if there is an arm rest every two seats in all United Terminals. This makes it almost impossible to get comfortable while trying to lay down. And to make matters worse, I walked close to 10 miles today carrying Eric's bag, so my legs are so tight right now that I just can't get comfortable. And don't get me started about the chaffing.
• Cleanliness: Try changing clothes in a bathroom stall here. It was probably the most disturbing things that I have done. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow morning when I need to brush my teeth.
• Cots: They told me that they had cots for us to sleep on at Terminal 2. Hmmm that's strange, then why do I see all these people sleeping on the floor everywhere else. So I decided to check it out. They forgot to say that its actually a homeless center and its not owned by United, but the city. I'll pass.
• CNN TV: Wouldn't be so bad if they would change it off of Headline News. I can't believe I'm saying this, but please turn on Anderson Cooper or Larry!!!!!!!
• I have not seen a girl over the rating of 3 in the past 2 hours. The closest I've gotten was a decent cleaning lady who vacuumed my bed who had 4 teeth.
• Everything shuts down early here. Not too sure why since there has to be close to 1000 stranded people here. Even Hudson News is closed.
• 36 holes of golf and no shower. Nothing that some Gillette lotion and Degree deodorant can't solve. I've fallen in love with Degree since it smells like gingerbread cookies. I like my pits to smell like cookies, don't you?
• OK, onto some comments from this weekend:

1. While trying to post in the car while going to golf, Eric peeked over and saw that I was trying to find an image on Yahoo. "What does that say? Devil Children?" Umm.. yes.
2. I figured out why I have so many problems visiting Eric and the kids. Its because I try and hang out with both the kids and Eric too much. For example, Freddie wakes me up at 6:00am to play, after I went to bed at 2:00am the night before hanging out with Eric. I can't function like that. Eric gets to wake up late, while I'm downstairs playing soccer, legos, and making breakfast. Yes Eric I know the breakfast consisted of Apple Jacks and chocolate and peanut butter rice cakes, but it was still breakfast.
3. Some assholes hit up on us (a chip shot, not a crushed 3 wood on a par 5) while playing golf on Saturday. I had a few words in the clubhouse for the two college kids that did this, which resulted in Eric yelling "Stop it Freddie". Freddie? Eric's response was that Freddie's name comes just so natural to him when he is yelling at someone that its hard for him not to yell it.
4. Only had a club chucked at me twice and the water bottle once during Eric's 36 holes. Not too bad. I'm not going to ruin anything, but when I started to laugh at him and telling him that this was perfect fodder for the blog, he wasn't too pleased. I think he responded with a "Write whatever the fuck you want" and then stormed off.
5. It is so much fun watching Eric get pissed at another golfer. Those looks and snide comments are killer.
6. Settings odds on the one guy in our group on when he would withdraw sent out some very bad karma. I had -300 after nine, -1000 after 18 and off the board anytime during the second 18. With Eric cackling during the entire bit, and with me stating that we shouldn't be discussing it since it would be such bad karma, Eric puts one in the water...Which was about 8 feet in front of him....With a pitching wedge...in which he put up a 7 to end the round. Wow, let this be a lesson to all of you.
7. I was a sight to see out there today at the course. I would of made all the pros proud. I didn't get any help from the other caddies and I didn't miss a beat. Raked all the bunkers (6), pulled all but 2 pins, cleaned all the clubs, and only had one mishap when Eric's bag broke. Yes, I had to go without the main strap to his bag for the last 12 holes. And I didn't even complain about it.
8. Eric runs a crooked craps table. Don't go there to gamble.
9. Eric's wife Janice is a fabulous cook. Tell her thank you again Eric. Shark, Pork Chops, Risoto, Grilled Veggies and Fruit (very good), and that ice cream cone she made me on Sunday night. Mmmmmm.
10. Had some serious conversations about marriage and kids with Eric and Janice. Looks like I just need to get Janice and mom's final approval asap.

OK, I'm done for now. I'm fading fast and my bed seems to be calling me. Will update you on how the rest of the night goes.