You are going to like the way you look...

Returned to Baltimore this weekend for another fabulous wedding. A couple of quick hits from the party...

• Ahhh, Maryland. I really miss the humidity. Wow, it is crippling. And I know that its not even that bad right now. I was explaining to Jon how I apply baby powder to the boys to keep them from getting sweaty in the humid weather, "Just picture Kevin Garnett entering into a game". Great visual for the rest of the weekend to refer back to.


• Had to go to my friend Brad's house for wedding pictures. Wow, its been a long time since returning to the place where we used to drink and do other things back in High School and College. Brad's little brother, Chad, took Jon and I back up to the room where everything used to happen and they had pulled all the carpet and made it into a baby room. Jon's comment sort of summed things up nicely "Wow, you almost can't smell the sin anymore".


• Tuxedos- I was a little disappointed to find out that Brad used Men's Warehouse instead of the best in class Tuxedo House. How can you live in Baltimore and not use Tuxedo House. Ugh. Anyway, there were several problems with the Tuxs and guess who couldn't fix any of them, since they don't carry any tuxedos on site? That's right, Men's Warehouse. Well, I ended up getting everything resolved in a grand total of 5 minutes and $35 at Tuxedo House. They might be cheesy, but they are the best in the business for ease of doing business and being able to handle any issues.


• And of course this led to the easiest, but funniest lines of the weekend. "You're not going to like the way you look. I guarantee it" was used probably about 1000 times.


• Embassy Suites, stay classy. No AC? No fucking AC!!!!!! I was overheating half the night. All of the groomsmen had heat rash around their necks because of it. Just a very poor showing once again by the Embassy Suites.


• And I like bartenders that are friendly, but bartenders who are too friendly and sacrifice speed since they are chatting with everyone pisses me off. Hey bud, I know that you probably get a total of 6 people a month at the Embassy Suites bar, but just stop talking and get me a beer. And if you bring back another draft that is only half full because you don't know how to poor from a tap, I'm going to take off my sweet soaked boxers and stuff if down your throat.


• I had an incident as an usher. The bride's dad along with the groom's dad came up to us asking to make sure that the some additional seats be saved in the second row. I told him I would see if there were any seats. So I walked out there and in front of probably 125 people, had to ask two women (from Long Island) to please move to new seats. I asked very nicely and politely, but one of the ladies gave me an ear full. Yup, she was making a scene, which prompted me to ask once again "Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way, but the Bride's father is asking that these three seats be left open for him and his family." What a little bitch. Anyway, she stormed out and was pouting outside of the ceremony while we all watched on. I know that you got here early to get a good seat, but everyone knows not to sit in the front two rows unless you are told to sit there right? Come on. And I'm sure that you know what happened next. Yup, the father and company did not sit in those seats. I had to keep my head on a swivel the rest of the night.
• Had a couple of people wanting to make sure that they were either in or stayed out of the blog. Pretty funny.
• Mark Larsen's kids are very cute.
• Plane ride home- I couldn't have a trip to Baltimore without any incidents. Anyway there was a couple sitting across the aisle from Carol and I who were pretty young with the kid dressed in the typical LA skater dude wear, complete with the trucker hat. The girl was dressed in the normal pink Juicy velvet outfit. Very classy. As the plane started to fill up, an older black couple comes back and were having trouble finding a seats together. Carol and I had a spot open in between us, as well as the young couple across the aisle so I offered the lady the aisle seat and I moved next to carol. So the guy asks the same of the young couple next to us, with the girl saying "I'm claustrophobic so I need the empty seat next to me!" Umm...what? The guy insists that he wants to either sit in the middle seat or the aisle seat. The couple refused to move or let him in. The guy now starts to raise his voice and the girl starts to freak out. The flight attendant comes over and then calls security since the couple continued to put up a fight with the flight attendant. Security comes on board and the girl goes on to tell the security officer that the black guy threatened her, with about 7 full rows of people then getting upset and calling the girl a liar. It was very impressive response by the crowd. The security person then says, "OK that's it, all 4 of you are out of here. Get off the plane." Then the 7 rows spoke up to defend the black guy and his wife. At that point the young girl moved over and didn't say a word the entire flight. There were 3 women behind the couple that openly and loudly talked about the poor showing of the young couple. Excellent!!!! It did make for a very quiet 5.5 hour flight though.
• Very smooth and enjoyable rehearsal dinner and wedding. I had a shit load of fun and didn't drink too much to ruin one of the days.