1. I have a wedding come up where I'm the best man. I'm thinking about starting off the speech with "So this family walks into a talent agencies office to pitch a new talent show..." just to see how many people get it. I'm not going to go into the entire joke, but just the start of it. Thoughts?
2. Speaking of the wedding, I went to OC several weeks back for the bachelor party. Great times!!! Its just amazing that our original high school crowd can not only still get along, but still have a great time, without missing a beat. I'm going to have to come back to this trip and post with pictures. Apparently there was a second camera on the miniature golf course that I did not know about that has some very revealing pictures of Curr stripping after Jon sank 3 hole in ones on the back 9 to capture the 4th miniature golf title. One of the top 10 funniest things I've ever seen.
3. Went through 3 full days of interviews with potential management employees. 5 interviews a day for 3 straight days with people that are supposed to be ready for management positions. They are recommended by their own local management and are interviewed by a person in HR, and two senior level managers (Alex and I). I'm always on these panels for some reason and here are some tips for any of you that might be interviewing in the near future on what not to do during an interview
- Do not bring in a pad of paper and tell us you want to use it to write down the questions that are being asked. If you write down "Tell me about a tough negotiation", I don't want you leading anyone. You don't think we know its a stall tactic? It reminds me too much of the Spelling Bee and its very hard to recover in my book when you do this.
- If you get nervous when you interview, which is OK, please don't do your normal OCD shit like zip and unzip your briefcase 30 times in a span of 5 minutes. Honestly, it makes ME nervous watching you do this, and once again I don't want you leading any of my people. This poor kid while ziping up and down his briefcase in front of us was also bouncing his leg so fast and hard it made me and the guy next to me openly laugh. This went on for the entire interview. He did not pass.
- If you know that you sweat when you interview because you are so nervous, bring in a napkin. I would rather watch you wipe the sweat off your face than watch it trickle down and then make bets inside my head on if it will drip on the desk. This poor kid looked like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter by the 3rd question.
- Remember that you are interviewing for a job that YOU want. Don't act like it is a chore for you to be there. You are not that smart and don't make me embarrass you in front of these other two by calling out all of your bullshit responses. Remember that we hold the power on if you will be a Claim Rep for the rest of your life.
- Chewing gum!!!! Honestly, what the fuck. It pissed me off so much that this asshole was chewing gum in the interview, I almost asked him to spit it out in my hand. Then I realized I was slowly turning into my mom and I stopped.
- What are some of these managers thinking when they recommended these people. I have one guy sitting there silent for 3 minutes while thinking of a response. And then he can't even respond with a good example.
- I'm sorry but if you ramble on for 10 minutes and then stop to ask us what the question was, I would just pick up my things and leave the room immediately. Thank god Alex had the nerve to say "Lets just move one" instead of repeating it.
- When asked "Tell me about a bad decision that you made recently" don't say I have so many to pick from. Thanks for the honesty, but please....
- Do not sit there and bad mouth the company's practices in front of us. You are interviewing with your own company, not a competitor. Jesus
- PLEASE unbutton your suit when you sit. You look like a stuffed sausage.
- If you are interrupted, or here the interviewer nod his head, just shut up. You answered the question correctly. Don't go on for another 10 minutes trying to explain something that is not necessary. FUCK!! This guy we interviewed almost didn't pass, despite nailing each question at the beginning because he just rambled on after each question.
- On a positive note, if you are an attractive women, it does not hurt to smile, make eye contact, and show off a little bit of cleavage. I repeat, it does not hurt. Know your audience!!!! The HR lady was not happy with me and Alex on this one. "Oh she was outstanding", "I would hire her in a second", and "best interview yet" received the "You guys are the biggest pervs" look. Not good.
4. Old vs New Laguna! I'm sorry, I've been so busy I haven't watched it. I have set my tivo so I'm hoping to get something up this weekend on it. According to several sources, the shit is out of control. Haven't heard from my mom on this yet, so I want her input before I post.
5. NFL preview. 2 teams in each conference fall out of the playoffs. Who will they be and who will step up? Let's see:
AFC Locks: Denver, Indy, and Pittsburgh. The Pats are now like the Braves to me so I'm giving them the East. That means we will probably have two new wild card teams. I'm looking at possible candidates in the Ravens, SD, Jacksonville, and the Dolphins. Cincy will fall out due to their schedule. Browns have too many question marks, but if everything falls their way, they could be in contention. Same goes with KC. Each of the remaining teams have major issues, except for Jacksonville. And they have somewhat of an easy schedule compared to the others, but they can't make the playoffs due to my rule. I want to go with the Ravens, but this seems to be one of those "all the pressure is on McNair' situations where he finally doesn't come through and the Ravens will be starting Boller by game 8" situations. The same goes for the Dolphins and Culpepper. SD is starting Rivers and he is totally unproven, despite looking good in the preseason. So I'm clueless right now. Absolutely clueless. Shit, I just wrote that the Browns might be in the mix. OK, I'll go with the Ravens and San Diego.
NFC Locks: What the hell is happening over here??? Jesus. The South and the East look super strong and the North and the West are a joke. Two teams to drop out? Bears and Skins. Two teams to get in are Vikings and Dallas. Everything else is the same. I really like the Giants to win it all this year. Carolina's schedule scares me too much to pick them to go all the way.
6. I know a Laker girl!!!!! One of my liability supervisor's daughters is now a member of the Laker cheerleading squad. Requests and demands have been submitted to her in return for a nice hefty raise.
On that note, I'm done. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss cats and the A's.
8 comments:
I'm sorry, Derek, but this softball is just sitting here waiting to be hit.
Regarding the topics for your post tomorrow, what do cats and the A's have in common in October?
Cats have a nickname of "pussies"....
you can finish the rest.
Did you come up with that all yourself or did Howie Mandell help you out on that one?
More seriously....
1) I blogged about a wedding in April where the matron of honor's speech was all about inside jokes of the bride/couple...
I think the 50% rule applies here. If 50% of the people know what you are talking about, then go for it. If not, it will be a VERY uncomfortable two minutes for everyone.
3) A great read on the interviews. How come young people are so clueless nowadays?
But the idea of a napkin? C'mon - I could see the guy try to wipe the sweat off his pface with a napkin, and then pieces of the napkin stick to the sweat so when he is done, he looks like someone with chicken pox.
A Jerry Tarkanian towel woul dbe much better....
And all I can think of when you talk about the buttoned/unbutton suit is Chris Farley sitting in your office for an interview.
5. Now that I think about it, I don't know if Jacksonville will miss the playoffs.
When thinking about the WC, you've got to think about divisional play.
Ask this question of the contenders:
Does the team have 4 wins in the bag vs. the bottom 2 teams in their division?
Is Bal guaranteed 4 wins vs Cin/Cle? No.
Is Cin going to get 4 wins vs Bal/Cle? No.
Is SD going to get 4 wins vs KC and Oak? No.
Is KC getting 4 vs SD/Oak? No.
Now...
Is Mia going to get 4 vs BUf/NYJ? Possible.
Is Jax going to get 4 vs Hou/Ten? I think that's a definite yes.
So, really, Jax is already one game up on the field.
"Deal.....
or no deal?"
Thanks for the decent Friday read. The new thing in DC is opting for a casual look for an interview, which I cannot stand. I go through the routine of putting on a suit every day, I expect the same.
Also, I get a homeless guy to wash my car every Friday, as the lot where I park is not even guarded, it is both to help the guy, and make sure he doesn't go Jackson Pollock with a key on my hood at any point during the day. What would you consider an acceptable payment for services rendered?
$5
Why do people equate talking more to intelligence. If you have to ramble then you need to rethink how you communicate. Just look at the faces of the people interviewing you. Normally they will wear it on their face if you have gone too far and they have given up listening to you. If you see them nodding there heads and verbally agreeing with you on your response, you should probably stop. Why go any further? If you are ever cut off in an interview that is a clear sign that you are rambling.
rrd, $5 would get your car washed in urine. Go for $10 (people spend that much at Exxon)
Mr. Wolf, good luck with Legg Mason. Go with your pins and power, but watch the "no dobut."
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