I've had it!!! I'm done. I'm sick and tired of bad drivers on my morning commutes. I can deal with some of the people that cut me off and stuff like that, but what I'm absolutely losing my mind to are the stupid people that drive the speed limit in the left hand lane. And the funny thing is starting to happen. Its the same people!!! The exact same people every morning. How crazy is that? And I give them the same reaction each time and its not working. So, I'm taking action. I'm taking down their license plate numbers and getting their personal information and will driving to their houses and slashing their tires. Seriously. And if that doesn't work, then I'm prepared to take it to the next level. Jesus!!!!!!! And I want your input on the following two statements to just see if its a local thing here in CA or if its true on a national basis:
- Volkswagen Bugs- Do you get excited pulling up to one of these hoping to see a decent looking chick, and 90% of the time its some older ugly hippy lady driving? And the other 10% is usually a dude. I have not seen a young good looking women drive one of these cars ever.
- Volkswagen Jettas- 95% of the people driving these cars are above average looking women. The % goes higher when the car is white. Simply amazing.
And finally I had a very strange encounter yesterday at a stop light in Long Beach. While stopped waiting for the light to turn green, a very large black guy was crossing the street. We made eye contact, and for some strange reason I smiled at him. And it was one of those creepy smiles. No freaking idea why I did this. He slowed down and gave me one of those "What the F are you looking at?" stares, and for some reason I couldn't look the other way, nor stop smiling. When he got in front of my car, he just stopped and gave me one of Lee's patented smirks with the head shakes. I shrugged my shoulders indicating that I'm a freaking dork and to pay no attention to me and please spare my life. It worked and we were both on our way, but the hell is wrong with me.
6 comments:
Were you going back to get your grandfather's watch?
"Slice? I never slice."
I need an enlarged version of that picture. Classic.
"You! You!!!!!!!!"
Spalding, you're playing golf!
Ok, I will attempt to respond to your inquiries, but will add my own little question/tangent at the end.
Volkswagen Bugs usually bring that around here...Bugs. Always look for the girls in the Cabriolet's or Acura's (although they sometimes tend to be bitchy).
In terms of bad drivers, there seems to be only 1 common denominator in all of your situations...you. Go slash tires anyway.
As for you driving/crossing the street experience. Its been said before, "You're Gay." Brother-man wasn't appreciating your sexy glance (you know that was what it was) and, Laguna Beach...you were about to have a Walk Off to see who is more dominant.
My tangent...Where do the models go? I know that if they are in MD, they leave when they are old enough and move to Hollywood (ala Stacy Keibler). I joined a gym recently and expected to see some nice eye candy while attempting to get into shape. Its been 4 weeks and, nope not yet. I think I saw Kimmie Meisner last week.
Well, I'm a little late getting in on this topic, but you could try my strategy of dealing with assholes that drive slow in the left lane. Whenever possible, get in front of them and slow down to 15-20 mph BELOW the speed limit. Do this as long as necessary until they get out of the left lane. When they do switch over a lane and try to pass you, speed up to your desired speed. If and when they come back into the left lane, repeat as necessary.
While this method does tend to make you even later getting into the office it is immensely satisfying watching the idiot behind get angry and try to figure out why you're driving 45 mph in a 65mph zone in the left lane.
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