Random thoughts on French dining

Well, I flew blind tonight - was on my own for dinner (had a conference call and failed to connect with other Americans at the hotel) so I explored the town and found an authentic French restaurant hidden behind the main town chateau. I used as little English as possible!

Random thoughts:

1) Carbonated water is like a one-week fad. I've had it three nights in a row now (Pellegrino, which is just like Perrier) and love it. But I don't think it's something I can drink regularly. I had this phase in Iowa where I bought a 1L bottle of Perrier at the local Hy-Vee once a week. The phase lasted a couple of months until a Saturday in May. I came back into the house after mowing the grass, looking for something to drink. I saw the Perrier - ugh! If you are thirsty,it is NOT the drink for you. I remember thinking to myself: "Self, why the hell are you buying this again? It does not taste better than Crystal light, you won't drink it if you are thirsty, and it costs $2 per liter." Never bought it again.

2) I forgot to take my Crystal Light "to go" packets to the restaurant (I do have them here on the trip). I wonder what the French would say if I pulled that out at the dinner table and poured it into their mineral water?

3) Did you know that "entree" actually means "appetizer"? I did not know that!

4) Fun with the menu, part I: So I'm trying to order an"entree". I brought my dictionary along. One of the choices was pate. No, not a big fan. The next appetizer took up two lines, but it contained the word "l'avocat". Avocado! Yes, I like that. Let's try that.

Well, I should have looked up the rest of the words.Out comes a plate of salad greens, with a avocado mold on top surrounded by various forms of vegetables and seafood. There were little balls of seafood - I'm telling myself they were miniature scallops - and some seared tuna, I believe. Delicious.

One of the vegetables was a long bean-type of item that what blanched and had a head on it, like an asparagus. I couldn't help but think that it looked like a albino's thinned penis. No, did not touch it.

5) The main course. It was foie gras or "faux filet". Faux filet - literally, "false filet", was really a sirloin. I ordered that.

It came out with a sweet potato cream on the side and potatoes. The potatoes were diced julienne style and seemed to be sauteed in a 1/2 inch of oil.

In other words, French fries.

It tasted just like the homemade potatoes that Mom used to make in her fryer. They were very good, even though I was embarassed to look like the typical American ordering French fries in France.

6) I was struggling with my French at this time - and then realized that I could honestly say "Pardon my French" - in French! - in actual conversation! This made me giggle for a while. Ah, simple pleasures.

7) Yes, it is true about dogsin restaurants. A labrador came by, smelled my clothes (and probably smelled my two schnauzers as well) and lingered a bit. But well behaved. Amazing.

8) Dessert time. Cheese or dessert? Well, dessert of course. I think having a cheese plate for dessert is an utter waste of time and a dessert course. Why? What is the point. Ooooh - cheese! But you could be having something fattening, delicious and sweet as well. And don't give me this crap about some cheeses being sweet. Dammit, I want sugar, not Neufchatel!

9) Crepes or Creme Brulee was the choice. Oh my, did I struggle over that. Wow. I am self-professed expert at Creme Brulee, so I had to order that.

/channel Graham Kerr

The texture was a bit rough, not as smooth as I expected. But the taste - ooh, so rich! The taste was better than the previous #1 Creme Brulee I have tasted, the Creme Brulee at the Phoenix in downtown Cincnnati. The layer of sugar was not at all thick, and does not overwhelm. Perfect. Slight burnt spots, but it is supposed to be that way. I hate the 1" think layer of sugar that some restaurants create in order to impress the customers. Non! The sugar is there to complement, not overwhelm, the custard. Perfect.

Now go do yourself a flavor.

/end Graham Kerr

10) This is the third meal in a row that was completely satisfying. I was so worried that I would have to eat 2 dinners just to be full. I have no idea where that stereotype came from. Every dinner I have had so far - which, to be fair, is sold as a "package" with appetizer, main course and dessert - was enough food to allow me to skip breakfast the next morning.

Where did we get the idea that the French server 2 string beans with an ounce of beef as the main course?

11) Red wine by itself is not as good as red wine with a meal. I am not enough of a connoiseur to understand why that is. Red wine just tastes better (less bitter and acidic) with food to go along with it.

12) Time of the meal: 1 hr, 20 min. Not bad. Not bad at all, for three complete courses (and coffee at the end).

Just a wonderful experience so far. More to come later!