Beefeaters and Hackers

Is there anything better than an afternoon buzz? On Saturday after going for a nice run, working out, and running some errands, Ben and I decided to continue our Gin Rummy 20,000 game outside with a big bottle of Beefeaters. This started around noon and by 2:00 I had an excellent buzz going. Ahhh, not having any responsibilities rock. On the flip side, is there anything worse than an afternoon buzz that turns into blacking out that night? Probably not. Ben and I tried to piece Saturday late afternoon and into the evening with only this information and items:
1. Empty Beefeater, Stoli, and Malibu bottles on the counter and three Tekezer bottles in the fridge. We did not have Malibu or Tekezer in the place earlier that afternoon. Not too sure where they came from.
2. A frequent purchase card from the Golden Spoon (ice cream joint). Apparently our neighbors and us went to get some ice cream at 9:00pm. I guess I ordered a pint of soft serve and sat down and ate the entire thing and then went on to eat some of my neighbors ice cream. I seriously don't remember this.
3. A GQ magazine and one of those Mexican Prayer Candles on our coffee table. Still confused about this one. I guess I ran out to get some propane from Ralphs (found my receipt on Monday) and purchased a GQ magazine and a prayer candle. Don't know what prompted me to do this.
4. UFC fight- Now I know that I ordered the fight on Saturday night, and I remember the two big fights, but had no idea about the other two fights. Ben and I ended up watching it again on Sunday since everything was really fuzzy.
5. Two wet beach towels- This might be the funniest part. I guess our neighbors and us went down to the hot tub sometime during the night. According to Ben, he remembers me doing a bit on how child molesters get a bad rap or something like that. He said that everyone loved it except for the two couples who were in the hot tub before we arrived. I truly don't even remember going down to the hot tub.

I was in such bad shape in the morning when I had to wake up at 6:00am to go golfing with Suz's little brother Greg. I was clearly still drunk. I walked around the place that morning looking at the items listed above going "what the fuck". I was so out of it, it took me 10 solid minutes to find my camera, which was in my hand. And I didn't even pick up on this, It took Ben to tell me this. And poor Ben, who was still drunk as well, had to get up at the same time and man the I-5 Border Patrol check point. Nothing like being drunk and standing in the middle of a 7 lane highway.

As for golf...ugh. Played like shit as I was battling the hangover. Interesting course in the middle of San Diego. We were paired with the two worse golfers I have ever seen. If either of them broke 160 I would be surprised. They kept up for the most part, but here was a couple of little highlights of the round:
1. Chris and Carl (our playing partners) were complete opposites. While they were both tremendously bad, but Chris had a great attitude about the entire outing, while Carl would get pissed after every shot. Not just upset, but yelling every swear word known to man after every shot. I'm not exaggerating about this. He buried his club several times after each shot and started blaming his poor play on the course itself. Carl here is a little bit of advice. After your 4th 12 in a row, its not the course, its you. He had a strand of 5-6 shots in a row where he lost the ball OB. And these weren't slices or hooks but just complete mis-hits that would go directly left or right off the club. And I can't even explain to you how pissed he was getting after every shot. It was very amusing after you got over how loud he was being.
2. Um Carl, can you at least walk 10 yards off the tee box to piss? Thanks.
2. Asked Chris and Carl if they played a lot of golf, they both responded Yes. In fact they both played the south course at Torrey Pines the day before. This left me speechless. I can't imagine those two guys on any respectable course hacking it up.
3. I almost dumped the golf cart in some prickly bushes. Thanks Greg for acting quickly and jumping on the front right tire to make sure that I didn't go with the cart. Yeah I was still drunk on hole number 3.
3. Hole #9, a par three, Greg pulls a shot that goes over a building on the right. We think that there is nothing over in that direction so we go about our business. When Greg goes to get his ball behind the building, we see that the #10 tee box is right behind it. Apparently one of the guys in the group ahead of us calls Greg and asshole. Greg tells Carl, Chris, and myself this when he gets up to the green and I thought that we were going to get in a fight right there on hole # 10. And it wasn't even because of me. Carl and Chris were ready to storm these guys and throw down. They were so pumped up about getting into a fight!!! This made Greg and I laugh for at least 2 entire holes. Why would two strangers defend us?
4. On every hole, Greg and I sat in the cart about 50 yards ahead of Chris or Carl making wagers to see if they would hit the ball past us. 80% of the time they were short.
5. On hole #18, Carl decided to give Chris some golf tips. "I think you need to tee the ball up higher" right as Chris was about to hit the ball, with Carl actually re-teeing the ball for Chris. Umm...sure that will solve all your problems Chris. You haven't made solid contact the entire round. And Carl, I think that you are the last person to give anyone advice.