Yesterday, I made a little mistake in marinating some chicken. On the weekend I had picked up a bag of assorted peppers at the West Side Market for a $1. Included, was one innocent looking pepper which I believe was a Hungarian wax pepper. Well, I figured I'd cut it up and add it to the chicken. So, I wash it, take the seeds out, cut it into rings. Now, I'm treating this pepper like it's just an ordinary green pepper or something. I mean really, it's not like it's a habanero or something. Not even a jalepeno. Well, there's my mistake. After, putting the marinating chicken in the fridge, I start getting ready for bed. You know, the usual. Go to the bathroom, take my contacts out...and as soon as I touch my eye, I'm in immediate pain. And yes I've washed my hands a couple times already. I feel like I'm in a 3 Stooges skit and I've been poked in the eye. My eye is instantly red, tears are flowing and I can't open them because it hurts so much. At the same time, I'm laughing hysterically because of my stupidity. I'm flushing my eyes with cold water but I'm also determined to get my contacts out. I abandon the right eye and proceed to the left. Now, it's red and the tears are flowing. After multiple tries and more water in the eyes, I get the left out. What about the right? Screw it. I'll get it in the morning. Try to brush my teeth and can't keep my eyes open long enough to see me put toothpaste on the brush. Get them brushed and go to bed.

Amanda's like "What is wrong with you?". I tell her the story and start to relax. But wait, something's happening down below. Yes, you guessed it, my penis is on fire. I lie there for a second and it's not getting any better. Needless to say I'm scrubbing my penis in the shower at 1:30 am. Come back to bed and ask if she'd like to have a little fun and for the first time she said "sorry for your luck".

Never did find the contact in my right eye. I think the pepper dissolved it in my eye.