Facebook

So last night while I was trying to forget about the items that awaited me at the office today, I went onto Facebook, signed up and then spent some stalking. Here are some of the highlights on my findings:

• 3 degrees of separation from my ex Amy- Funny thing. I went to my friend's Sooz page and for some reason clicked on her friend Tark. And one of Tark's friends happened to be one of my old high school friend's Nicole Topper. Then on her friends list was my ex girlfriend Amy. Very strange.
• The most amusing friends list was Currier. What the hell is going on there Curr?
• I'm going to dedicate a full evening on Kermit's pictures and friends list.
• After about an hour of stalking, Carol pointed out to me a feature available on facebook of "Who is checking you out." Great. Grand. Wonderful. So everyone I looked up last night will know that I was on their page.
• If I can get my iphone to work, expect me up on a twitter account shortly. We are working on getting Eric up and running on twitter as well.

Now off to deliver a bunch of layoff notices. Fun Fun Fun.

I just don't get it

I am just shocked at the outpouring of support for Roman Polanski from his artist friends. Really? You are supporting a person who drugged and had sex with a 13 year old girl?
And are you really saying that - because he is an artiste, he should be forgiven?

Such crap. Do they realize that this is why people are starting to hate Hollywood so much - and why anti-Hollywood rhetoric is so powerful in this land?

I only have my good friend Jewel as a beacon of hope in Hollywood.

NFL Week 3: Georgia Peach

Well, I don't know if I can relate this theme for the NFL Picks to the Browns anymore. Apparently, the 2009 Browns are playing Winged Foot from the back tees with greens rolling at 14 on the stimp and the rough is 6 inches high. So any hole is going to be impossible to par - and we will be lucky to break 90.

(Or - to be more accurate - the 2009 Browns are like us playing the Kampen course at Purdue, the week before the NCAA D-I golf championships were held there - and all of us got plastered the night before, so much so that we (I?) had to throw up in the Panera bathroom the morning of the round just so I can stabilize myself and see straight. Too much information?)

Maybe I should relate this theme to Freddie's flag football team, which I am coaching. We won yesterday to go 1-1 - so the pressure is off and I can rest, believing that we won't go winless. Hole 3 is a chance to catch your breath. You're not going to shoot 85, but now it's time to settle down. You know what is working (the fade off the tee, the chipping is good - very much like our passing defense and, suprisingly, our passing game) - but there are shots that are still shaky (maybe the mid irons are hooking way too much; we can't tackle on the outside for crap right now, espeically on 4th down!). So Week 3 is where we start playing to our strengths (if any exist) and start to buckle down.

At Augusta, the worst you can be at this point is 1 over. You have to buckle down and focus here on hole 3 - it's a relatively easy hole, but if you lose your concentration, you can easily wind up with a 5 or 6. Focus for the 4 shots, and you should walk away with par.

Unless you are the Browns. Ugh.

On to the picks:

Ten 27, NYJ 20. I'm stubborn. Fine. I refuse to believe the Jets are this good or the Titans are that bad. The Jets played a Houston team that didn't show up, and a Patriots team that fed into their emotions. This is a classic letdown game.

NYG 23, TB 16. Talk about let down games - how can the Giants not have a letdown after that super charged win over the Cowboys?

GB 28, StL 17. F You, packers. I'm out of the suicide pool because of you. I think the Browns - as of now - would be able to beat the Rams, but it would be a 7-6 game.

Phi 27, KC 24, OT. We haven't had an overtime game yet, and I think there will be a couple this week. Are we sure Kevin Kolb can lead them here? Kansas City can score on Baltimore - why not Philly?

NE 30, Atl 17. Atlanta hasn't been on the road yet. The Patriots are desperate. It may rain outside. People really see the Falcons winning this?

Min 20, SF 17. OK, I'll buy into the San Fran hype. If they can stop Peterson, there's nobody else there. Are you saying Percy Harvin will lead the Vikes? Berrian? The receivers are average, at best.

Hou 21, Jax 17. Talk about ANOTHER letdown game out there. Wow. I wouldn't be surprised if the Jags pull this out.

Was 24, Det 16. I think that Detroit's dismal defense will bail out the Skins here. The Skins can be 2-1 after this game - and they are putrid. Wow.

Bal 30, Cle 10. Do I have to preview this? I'm shell shocked right now.

Chi 20, Sea 13. Hasselbeck is out (really? Shocker). In three years, hasn't Seneca Wallace proven that he's not a competent backup for Hasselbeck?

NO 31, Buf 24. This game scares me. I still don't know what ot expect from the Bills.

SD 20, Mia 19. I'm not sure where I'm going with the Dolphins here - that loss Monday night could crush them, or make them more determined to win a desperate week 3 game vs. an overrated (?) Chargers team.

Den 17, Oak 16. Kyle Orton, 3-0 with Denver after today. All he does is just win. He was like 20-12 with the Bears or something like that.

Pit 26, Cin 23, OT. Should be a classic. I'm interested to see all four sides of this game (Pit O, Cin D, Cin O, Pit D).

Az 30, Ind 23. Something is just missing from the Colts right now.

Dal 24, Car 20. Let's just face it - Dallas may not be that good, and may finish last in the division.

Best bets: 14 of them (last week: 7-8; overall: 13-18).

Ten +2

Ten/NYJ over 37

NYG/TB under 45.5

GB -6.5

KC +8

KC/Phi over 38.5

NE -4.5

SF +7

Jax/Hou under 47.5

Chi -2.5

Mia +5.5

Pit/Cin over 37.5

Az -3

Car +8.5

Junk Drawer

Time for my semi-annual post, sorry for the grab-bag nature.

Terps: Fire Friedgen. Maryland is one of the four worst teams in the ACC with Virginia, Duke, and BC. I don't argue that Friedgen is a good coach, but his record makes me think that he's a terrible recruiter. In the NFL, the talent is about the same with every team so coaching matters more. In college football, you can out-talent people. There is no reason that MD can't become a consistently good regional football team that occasionally has a chance to make some noise nationally. With the facilities that MD has (I would argue that they are above-average regionally, roughly average nationally) and the talent that comes from this area, there is no reason that this isn't achievable.

So who's the replacement? I stole this idea from Bill Simmons, but I think that Herm Edwards or someone like him would be a good college coach. He's black, thin, (appealing in a kid's living room) and sounds good when you don't know any better. Perfect for 17 and 18 year-olds. And by the time you get tired of his antics, you graduate/run out of eligibility. He'll probably never win a national championship due to his inability to actually coach, but he'll win 9-10 games a year and have the team in good bowl games. Who wouldn't take that right now?

The issue that I see is this guaranteed replacement that MD signed in James Franklin. It probably takes too much to buy out whatever is left on Friedgen's deal, buy out whatever guarantee that Franklin has, and get someone like Edwards. Add that to the hole that the athletic department is in with the Tyser Tower expansion, and it looks like another couple of years of aspiring to mediocrity.

Redskins: Is there anyone who doesn't expect them to lose to Detroit? If they do, does Danny make Zorn walk back from Detroit? I've never seen a win that feels so much like a loss. The attitude of the town is just amazing--it's exactly like we lost. There is a TON of pressure on the Redskins right now. If they don't come out and score a TD in the first possession or two, that game could get ugly.

I've also heard some Redskins fans rooting for Detroit. The logic goes that when they lose to Detroit, then Zorn will be fired and we'll looking at Cowher or Shanahan, either of whom will demand authority over player personnel. And with that comes the removal of Vinny Cerrato, who many feel is more responsible for this mess than Zorn. As masochistic as it seems, I can't say that I entirely disagree with that theory...

Phone: I'm just biding my time until I can get an iPhone. I have a BlackBerry now and it's fine for the basics like email and calendar, but it just lacks any ability to really utilize the Internet for anything. If the iPhone was offered on Verizon, I would switch immediately. I just hate AT&T. Any iPhone users out there want to disagree? I think that I'm going to switch when my contract is up in March, but would really like to hear that it's not as bad as everyone says it is....

Newspapers: Here's a question that I asked RRD the other day: when does the Washington Post stop printing a hard copy paper? 3 years? 5 years? And which big national paper falls first? The Chicago Tribune? (Already bankrupt, right?) LA Times?

My parents have always subscribed to the paper and I have as well. But I think that I am one of the very few people my age who actually would pay for a newspaper (I think that Layup still gets the WSJ). But recently, I look at the Post and it has a decent front page and just a shell of a newspaper in every other section. The sports page is a joke. Business has always been a disaster, Metro and Style are in rapid decline, and the classifieds are pointless due to things like Craigslist, etc.

Twitter: I'm continuing my one-man crusade against Facebook, but I'm now on Twitter. I talked to Jay about it the other night and I'm clearly not using Twitter the way that I should, but it's still an interesting way to get news and information. It seems to be a way to subscribe to the writers or other sources of content that you want without having to sift through the whole paper or site. A push content aggregator.

Unlike everyone else on Twitter, I'll ask you not to follow me. You're just going to be disappointed (although not as disappointed as following Sweet). I really have nothing to say, I use it to follow what other people are saying and to see what the flavor of the day is at the local ice cream place--you know, the important stuff.

Vegas: Nice to get the first Vegas concall out of the way the other day. Looks like we're staying at the Mirage this year. Talked to Layup about it a little bit and agree with him--we need something new each year to keep it fresh and interesting. Two years ago, it was the cabana. Last year, it was Ultimate Texas Hold'Em. What is is this year? Eric dancing in the O at Revolutions?

Craps: Speaking of Vegas, I went to Foxwoods the other day for a quick gambling trip. Spent 90% of my time playing craps, which has led me to all kinds of strategy questions (most of which have Layup up in arms). However, the biggest thing that I've noticed is that there are a LOT of people playing the don't. Is that due to the economy? Wiz and Reaver weren't anywhere to be seen, so I don't think that that's the answer. Not sure what the deal is there, but it was noticeable enough that 2-3 people mentioned it to me independently.

Obama

I'm surprised I haven't seen anything about Obama on here for over two weeks. I just wanted to post something quick on Obama.

Why is everyone up in arms about him being on TV and trying to get his message out about Healthcare? I think he understands how divided the country is over Healthcare and he is doing his part as the leader of our country to get out there to sell his message. This is rule number one in change management. Its one thing to disagree with his message, but its another to complain about him over communicating his message.

I think we can all agree that Bush was the exact opposite. So many of the politicians these days make a decision and then hunker down and not communicate. That's just terrible leadership. While I don't agree with some of the Healthcare ideas from Obama, I do applaud him for getting out there and trying to at least communicate his message.

Chad Millman

So if I wasn't already excited about gambling with the start of the football season, the sportsguy had Chad Millman on his podcast talking about a bunch of Vegas stuff. I'm thinking about joining ESPN Insider just for Chad's blog. Here are some of the highlights from the podcast:

1. The M Hotel and Casino has per second in game wagering. That's right. Spreads and totals are updated real time during the game and the sportsbook allows you to wager in game. Apparently they give you a blackberry device that you preload with money that allows you to wager from your seat. Also, there are real time prop bets for certain games. Think the Panthers will get a first down in the current series? Go ahead and wager. I can't wait to try this out when we go out there in the spring.

2. WNBA has tremendous value- Sportsguy was trying to be funny about diving into the WNBA and become the single master bettor in the WNBA and Chad informed him that the wiseguys are already ahead of the game and are cleaning up. The only problem Chad says is that most bookies and offshore site caps the wagering at $5,000. And according to Chad the wiseguys can't make money with only wagering $5000 a game. WOW!!!

3. Zig Zag theory for NBA and WNBA- Take the losing team the following game. Usually in the playoffs, the winning team is over-valued and thus the spread is off for the next game. So far the theory is 2-1.

4. Double digit home favorites- Always go against it. This is becoming like the new Monday night home underdog. This theory will be put to the test next week as the Browns travel to the Ravens. And yes I have thought about it and will be putting money on the Browns.

NFL Week 2: Pink Dogwood

Ok, so you may not have had the best start on the first hole. Now we come to the par 5 second. This is a hole any serious contender must par, and probably birdie.

The left trees on this hole are nicknamed the "Delta Counter". Because - if you go left into the woods - there's no need to worry about playing the weekend and you might as well just get your tickets home now.

That's where a lot of teams are this week. They are 0-1 after a loss in week 1; some teams (like Tennessee, Washington, Miami) lost to good teams on the road - so a week 1 loss is no biggie. For other teams (Cincinnati, Carolina, Arizona) - a week 1 loss came as a surprise and they can not - no way - afford to go 0-2. If they are any good, they will rebound in week 2. The question is - are those teams really any good?

And we also have the question of the teams playing on different "holes" on week 1. Is a team that parred - oh, I don't know - Elks Run #1, Orchard Hills #1 or Pleasant Valley #1 (and therefore are 1-0) any better than a team that bogied the first hole, like a bogey on Blue Ash #1, Grandview #1, or Hunt Valley Blue #1?

In short, this is a big week for a lot of teams. They've got to par the easy par 5. I'm looking at you, Mr. Mangini.

To the picks:

Was 24, StL 13. I just do not trust the Skins enough to cover the large spread.

Ten 27, Hou 20. I think Tennessee's defense is vulnerable to a passing offense like Houston's ; however, the Texans will commit turnovers galore (again).

Phi 22, NO 22 I honestly have no clue here. How wil Kolb play? Can the Saints play on the road? Avoid this one like the plague.

NE 27, NYJ 16. Do we really like that Belichick will let a rookie QB hand with them? Really? I am not buying the Sanchez love just yet.

KC 24, Oak 13. West coast team playing at 1 pm! And maybe KC's offensive "explosion" vs. the Ravens was not a fluke. It's going to be hard for the Raiders to bounce back from a late Monday night game to play in the early spot on Sunday.

Jax 27, Az 20. Another West Coast team playing at 1 pm! Maybe these Cardinals just aren't that good. I need to watch Jax more closely this week to get a read on them.

GB 26, Cin 13. If the Bengals couldn't score at home vs. the Brnocos, how are they going to score vs. the Packers after what we saw on Sunday night?

Min 30, Det 17. A more confident picker would choose the over here. If the Lions win, I will be crying. Enough said.

Atl 27, Car 24. This one should go down to the wire. I'm not saying Carolina will win, but I think they have the urgency here to keep it close -and suffer a heartbreaking defeat.

SF 30, Sea 23. I just like what I see from the 49ers.

Buf 23, TB 13. A perfect opponent for the Bills, who must be crusheda fter Monday's loss. This will be a good indication on whether the Bucs are truly one of the worst 2-3 teams in the league.

Bal 23, SD 13. I don't see the Ravens' defense giving up as many points/yards as they did last week. Side wagers on this game:

Over/under on fights in the stands: 28.5
Over/under on fights in the stands involving Layup, who will be attending? 1.5

Chi 20, Pit 16. I think Chicago can move the ball in the air vs. a Polamalu-less defense. And Pit's strength on offense in the pass - which Chi can handle prtty well.

NYG 26, Dal 20. Mabe I just hate Dallas too much.

Mia 27, Ind 24. I think the Colts have lost a step, and the Dolphins are a dangerous team.

Cle 16, Den 13. OK - this is it. We were nervous on the first tee, hit a good drive- and then hit the approachin the water. Now we are on the 2nd tee at +1. Easy par 5. Let's turn in a good, solid game here and get back on track.

Best bets: 15 of them (last week: 6-10.)

Hou/Ten over 40.5

NE -3.5

KC -3

Jax -3

GB -9

Car +6

Car/Atl over 42.5

SF -1

Sea/SF over 39.5

TB/Buf under 42

Bal +2.5

Chi +2.5

NYG +3

Mia +3

Ind/Mia over 42

Ugh. too many favorites this afternoon.....

Random thoughts while sick

Can't sleep. Sick. So let's spend the night posting random thoughts:

- While watching the US Open for the past couple of weeks, I couldn't help but notice a lot of commericals for Latisse. What is Latisse? It is a drug to help your body....grow longer eyelashes.

Really? I'm sorry, I don't know much at all about what is in high fashion - but people are willing to take a drug that will help their eyelashes grow longer? What happened to fake eyelashes? And if this works, can't it be applied to baldness?

- What are your thoughts about people who brush their teeth at work? It creeps me out. I can't exactly say why it does, but it just seems.....wrong. Go buy some gum.

- This link about looking for Bromance on the internet also creeps me out. Geesh. Go to a tailgate or something. (and in the comments of this article, there is a link to a hilarious YouTube coemdy sketch about Bro rape.)

- What is the age of the CBS Sports hack who wrote this preview? Another question: are we sure this is not from the Onion?

CBS Sports is proud to assign Bill Macatee and Steve Beuerlein, one of our top broadcast teams, to this Sunday's bitter rivalry game between the undefeated Denver Broncos and the much improved Cleveland Browns. Watch on Sunday as these two playoff contenders battle for a key victory in the Mile High City!!!
--END--

Really, I like to be smoking something when I talk about the Browns - but I want to have what this guy is having.

- (inhales) Grade for Week 1: C-. Brady did not look good, and the defense got tired - but I liked a lot of things that I saw out there. A defense that actually attacked. The Wildcat formation (although it may not have been called for a couple of times). A lot of things to work on, but it's a step in the right direction.

(and we can evaluate this team in a few weeks, when Minnesota is either 5-0 and has the inside track to home-field advantage, or 3-2 and just merely an above average team about ready to fall apart on Favre's arm. We are not sure how good the Vikings are just yet).

- I'm reluctant to post anything political right now; let's just say I find this debate over health care reform to be healthy in many ways.

- Gee, I still miss Fire Joe Morgan. He came out of retirement to post a classic about the 2009 AL MVP race.

NFL Week 1: Tea Olive

We're back! Don't let the lack of posting fool you! I've been in hiding for the last few days obsessing over the Week 1 picks for you. We will try to duplicate last year's documented 57.5% winning percentage (135-100) in 2009.

This year's theme: each week, we will compare the games/season with the holes at Augusta National. We start with Hole #1, Tea Olive. It's a tough, tough par 4 right out of the gate - and that's about how I feel with these picks. For an opening par 4, you don't know where your swing is at; you just want to get off the tee without too much damage, and you play conservatively to make sure you don't blow the round with a triple on the first hole. You're asking for a nice par - or at worst, a tap in bogey - so you can get comfortable and get into your round.

That's how I feel this week. So many changes in the teams - I'm not sure if I have a good feel on any of them. Several new coaches are in place - and with a new coach comes an instant jolt of excietment and unpredictability with the teams. In short, for week 1, I'm looking just to survive with an 8-8 week, much like many golfers at Augusta are looking just for a par on #1 to ctach their breath.

On to the picks:

Pit 20, Ten 17. For the record, I did pick Ten +6.5, so I'm 1-0 to start the year. A good warmup session on the range.

Atl 28, Mia 20. Boy, starting with this game feels exactly like opening tee jitters. Can anyone tell me they know what to expect from either of these teams? Is one of them a fluke afte rthe surprise 2008? Are both? Are neither of them flukes? Who the hell knows? Let's just swing away and see what happens......

Cin 28, Den 17. Ugh. I really don't like this pick, but I don't like what I see from Denver.

Ind 24, Jax 13. This is like playing a course once a year and you get to the first green, and you have a 10 footer. You seem to have the same 10 footer every year - it has to break left. It HAS to! You play it outside the hole every freaking year, and it doesn't move.

I always seem to take the under in these Ind-Jax games. It has to be low scoring. Has to! And it never is.

NO 31, Det 16. Boy, the Saints look good. But I think the new coach in Detroit will keep the game somewhat close.

Dal 19, TB 17. What do we really think about the Cowboys? Is Tampa really as bad as we think? I think we're missing something here. I think this game willgo down to the wire.

Car 24, Phi 19. You have a nice round going in the fall, and you screw it up with a double on an easy hole near the end of the round - like a double on, oh, #17 at Blue Ash, #16 at Punderson or #16 at Rocky Point. And then you have to wait 6 months before your next round.

Wouldn't that just stick in your mind - and when you start again next spring, you'd be determined to erase that memory by playing well and focusing for all 18 holes?

The point is, Carolina's end to the season last year has got to be a motivator this year. They want to erase that memory as soon as possible.

Bal 27, KC 9. Really, how are the Chiefs going to score here?

Hou 22, NYJ 16. I'm not sold on the Jets. This is like every year at the Masters - the sleeper picks come out: "Justin Rose is playing well! Look out for him!" And then he makes 6 on the opening hole. Let's wait until the turn to anonit the Jets as a contender for the AFC East.

NYG 16, Was 13. No real ideas here. Was did not have a good preseason; can they move the ball? I'll be interested in watching this at 4.

Az 30, SF 20. Should be a shootout. I know a few people who have Warner on their fantasy team - all I can say is "good luck with THAT".

Sea 27, StL 21. It would not surprise me to see the Rams win this one. I can't pull the trigger and predict it - but they still have some weapons (although a bit older), and a new coach will help.

GB 27, Chi 20. I really want to like the Packers in this game. They looked damn good in the preseason.

NE 31, Buf 10. Sports Guy picked the Bills to be the worst team in the league at 2-14. I think he may be right. If this is true, there is no way they are going into Foxboro and coming within 20 points.

SD 24, Oak 20. Something is fishy here. This game is too easy - TOO easy. This is like Royla Links #5 - the hole is a 300 yard par 4 - straight away - you hit a perfect drive and wham! You are in a pot bunker that is in the middle of the fairway that you can't see from the tee box. Something about this game scares me - and should scare the Chargers.

Min 23, Cle 20. If you pick the Vikings in your suicide pool this week, you are a silly, silly fool. This game will be close and go down to the wire.

15 picks (1-0 so far):

Atl -4

Cin -5

Ind -7

Jax/Ind under 45

TB +5.5

Car +2.5

Bal -13

Hou -4.5

NYJ/Hou under 44

Was +6.5

NYG/Was under 37

Az -6

StL/Sea over 41

NE -10.5

Oak +9.5

Suicide pick: Baltimore.

Emergency request!

If any of you degenerates out there know of an NFL suicide pool with openings for new players, please post the details and any information about them in the comments as soon as possible!