May 23, 2009

Pregnant Shit

So Carol is sick. Really sick actually. Nothing more than a severe case of morning sickness that last throughout the entire day. Very tough for her to eat anything and actually she is losing weight. The doctors aren't too worried yet, but she is losing weight which isn't a great thing. So the other day she was feeling OK for about an hour and we ran to the mall to do some price shopping on baby crap. So a couple of questions to the group:

1. Why such a large swing in prices for simple things like a baby carrier, stroller, and shit like that. Is it really worth $200 more for some of these products. I understand I'm a little bit of a cheapskate but what is the difference between the 49.99 breast pump and the $200 one?

2. So with Carol being sick, lets just say that the traffic control has restricted any flights from taking off in the Zahn bedroom. So we are walking in the mall and we pass that Bebe store. Lets just say that I was turned on by the fucking manikins. Yes the fucking manikins. And I wasn't even that drunk yet. I hope to God I don't have a girl.

3. So there is a local cigar store that I will visit and buy an occasional cigar from since I want to support the store. Yes I buy my cigars off of the internet so I can skip the 45% tax that California has on the product, but I don't want to see these places go. So today I walked into the shop and ended wandering into a back room that I didn't know was there. I was drinking a little Jack right before I went there, so I missed the room with the cigars in it, and ended up going into this wonderous room full of flat screens. It was empty at the time but the set up was amazing. Chess boards, an amazing poker table, and comphy chairs galore. The place has a sitting area in their main lobby but this was a backdoor area that seemed to lead itself to an impromptu craps table being set up. I asked the cashier about it and he said that its usually packed but since it was Sunday and Memorial day things have been quiet. Looks like I found my new place to go watch golf on Saturdays....and maybe start up my bookie business.

4. Speaking of the bookie business, I was in a meeting two weeks ago where we did this team building excercise where the team members spoke about themselves for 10 minutes and it couldn't be about work. So it was my turn and I talked about my love of gambling. Everyone was laughing at some of the stories and it went pretty well. Then it was out Litigation Managers turn, who is this mother of three who lives in San Diego. She starts off by stating "Well I have something in common with Derek. My Dad was a professional gambler." Hmmmm. Really. So of course I decide to have lunch with her and ask her about it and she goes on to tell me that her Dad was a bookie and never worked a day in his life. WOW!! I mean WOW!!!!!!! She said that he is retire now and was asked to go out to Arizona to help start one of the casinos in Scottsdale. Ummm, how big do you need to be for a casino to ask you to help them, when they don't have a sportsbook. She said that they would go out to Vegas when she was a kid all the time and they would drive out there...in a limo.....provided by the casinos. I was blown away. I asked if I could come over for dinner one night to meet her dad. She said sure, so I will keep you posted.

Finnally, who is watching Kate plus 8. The marketing people for that show should receive an award. Bravo on getting both of them on every cover of every magazine right before the season premiere. Just because they have a show already shouldn't preclude us of viewing them just like the money grubbing whore Octomom. Did they really drum up all of this drama just to increase their ratings on their show? I don't know, but they have a lot to lose if ratings drop and TLC cancels the show. For fuck sake they live in a $1.6 million home paid for by TLC.

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