May 28, 2012

Golfing is illegal in parks

Warren's third grade class is doing a study on "Work and Leisure" - how people spend their time working and how they spend it relaxing. I was going to go into the class and show them how I relax now - by playing on my iPhone for 45 minutes straight - but I decided against it.

I opted instead to take the kids golfing. There is a park across the street from the school - and there was an area about 30 yards wide by 80-90 yards long, unblocked by trees, that would be an ideal mini driving range.

At 8:20 in the morning, the teacher, 20 3rd graders, and I headed over to the park with some kids clubs and 30-odd real golf balls.

I split them up in groups of 5; the first five would come up, hit 5 balls, then run out and collect them for the next group of 5, and so on. A perfect way to spend 50 minutes or so!

(I decided to kick things off with a Bob Barker-like inspiration swing. See, kids, here is how it's done. I wanted to impress them with my 60 degree wedge and hitting a high, full wedge that landed softly on the ground 75 yards away. I would get so many ooohs and aaaahs.......

....alas, it rained the night before, and I was wearing sandals, not my golf shoes. On the downswing, my right foot slipped, and I made contact with the middle of the golf ball - a pure skull. The ball went 110 yards on a low line......the kids, of course, were still impressed.)

The first group of kids finished hitting their balls when a 50 year old Chinese man came up to me and started talking to me very seriously in Mandarin. I understood nothing, so I did the next best thing. I called the teacher.

She came over - and her Mandarin was no better. "I don't know what he is saying ,either". Deep down, I kind of knew, but I could play the dumb foreigner for a while.

Then a student in the class started to translate. "He said that they will be working on the grass later today - and so he needs you to be off the grass for that work".

Um, ok. We told him "10 minutes" - and after about 45 more seconds of discussion, he was fine with hat.

The second group of kids started hitting - and we barely got into that session when another man, a bit older, came running over. He was now yelling - again, in Mandarin.

"Gaylene! Come back over here!" The teacher and the 9 year old translator joined us.

"He wants us to leave now. You can not do this at the park. You are hurting the grass. " This man seemed to be the supervisor of the first guy that approached us. What's this guy's title, the "Superintendent of the Park"? If so, then what is the first guy's job?

5 more minutes? I asked.

The man yelled even more. "No, we have to leave now, He says you are killing the grass".

Well, not wanting to cause any more of a scene, we packed up and left. They stared at us until we crossed the street heading back to the school.


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