1. I have been advised that the incident at the UTH table with Blue Shirt guy was Thursday night, not Friday. Wiz and Layup swear they did not gamble after returning from the MGM on Friday night. Now that I think about it, they're right.
2. Freddie's basketball coach was in Vegas the same weekend. Most of you were aware that he invited us to a block party at O'Sheas on Wed night when we arrived. (I politely said "hmmm, we may not get in until later...I'll have to think about it).
I texted him before dinner on Friday to see where he was if he wanted to get together on Friday at some time. He wrote back - at that time - that he was partying at the Hard Rock. Well, with all of the delays, and dinner going way late, I never texted him back.
I saw him at the batting cages last weekend -and I asked him how it went. He said it's probably a good thing we didn't meet up, because........
(go into Gene Rayburn Voice)
Their group got so wasted...
how wasted were they?
They got so wasted that his brother was thrown out of the Excalibur hotel.
I mean, just think about that for a second. Thrown out of the Excalibur.
Ok, now on to
Saturday
The day opened as usual, with relaxing Pai Gow. I met two spearate dealers who were from Guangzhou, China - and I learned some things (but not too much) about that city that will be useful in the short term.
After winning a bit, over to the UTH table, where the Jerry Lewis Telethon (R) was just beginning! I think I was there during the first hour (but not the start) of the 12 hour UTH marathon. It was a bad start for all of us, and I picked up and left after about an hour or so.
Next up was a massage! So I hate to embarass myself on the blog (what else is new? -ed), but I have to relate this story to see if anyone else feels the way I do.
So I went upstairs to change clothes, and came back down to the spa with my bathing suit in hand. The locker room attendant told me that I was free to use the facilities, including the whirlpool - here's your robe, and towels are over there. No suit required.
Um - what? I asked him to repeat. I don't need a suit?
No, was the answer.
OK, I guess. It felt weird at the beginning. I confess, I haven't been in a male-only spa before. I got used to it fairly quickly - except for the fact of rooting for St Mary's with total strangers while only wearing a robe - but it was just an odd feeling to being with.
So after the massage and the spa experience, I headed over to the UTH table - suit in hand. And I carried my suit around for most of the afternoon - to the UTH table, to the book, I think I even played craps while laying my suit on the rail.
After the massage, the team was in hour 4 of the telethon - and the tote board was negative. I joined in the fun - and promptly got killed again. That's when I got hungry, and Laura ordered deli sandwiches for us.
I headed to the book to place more bets, and lingered - and came back and the sandwich was waiting there. What better place to scarf down a huge deli sandwich than standing up next to the UTH table!
I dipped my toe into the UTH pool again around hour 6 - and got it chopped off. No more. I swore UTH for the rest of the telethon. I think Leland swore it off as well, so we both headed over to the Craps table, quickly joined by Mike and Laura.
(I distinctly remember at least 4 times during this trip where Leland, Mike, Laura and I were at the craps table while the other 4 were over at UTH. Not exactly sure what that meant.)
Standing next to us at the craps table was a group of 3 guys here on a business trip, sharing one bankroll. It was funny at first to listen to them argue on how they were going to bet ("Press! Go to 25! Hard 6 now!") but after 15 minutes of the same antics, it got old. Fortunately, we were winning, so it was tolerable. It ended up being just one guy at the craps table with another guy standing on a slot machine chair shouting directions down to the guy at the table.
(Also - with the point being 5 - I kept singing the Subway 5 dollar foot long song for 15 straight rolls, as the female shooter refused to hit the point or seven out.)
Well, by now, the disaster of the UTH table was long forgotten, my big sports bets (why Leland and I didn't go 4 digits on Kentucky -9 vs Wake? )were coming in, and I was feelign pretty good after 14 Strwaberry Daiquiris at the UTH table and 5 Tom Collinses (yes, this drink made a comeback this trip!) at the craps table. On to Pai Gow.
It was 7 pm or so, I only had that turkey sandwich all day, and I was getting a bit drunk. In Pai Gow, if you have a good bottom hand - like a flush or a striaght - your top 2 cards are usually going to suck. Many players call this being "topless".
Well, I decided to act this out. I got a heart flush on the bottom and 5-3 up top. I turned to Leland and Jay to my right.
"You know what my top hand is?"
No, they answered.
I lifted up my shirt. "Topless!"
As Jay said, there are things he can't unsee.
Well, I thought I was hilarious that first time, so I repeated it at least 6 more times. I thought it was just as funny as the first - I'm sure Leland and Jay did not agree.
By the 4th time, I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't see out of my contacts. I just lost it for a good 2-3 minutes. The waitress hated me, I'm sure the dealer didn't like it, and (most embarrasingly) the guy at the other end of the table - who was betting $1000/hand, sometimes $5000 - did not like it.
Here he is, with a $40,000 stake at the table, and a drunk idiot is giggling and lifting up his shirt. A proud moment for me. There was one other time I completely lost my emotions in Vegas - 2004, shortly after the stressful move to Iowa and I was convinced on this trip that Steve and Kermit were conspiring against me - but that was more of a breakdown. This was just......immaturity.
(And do I regret it? Ummmmmm......no.)
With the UTH Marathon ending, we headed to Dos Caminos for dinner, which is always a letdown. The chips and guacamole are soooooooo good, it overshadows the dinner. My dinner came - and it was just ok. Dry beef. I don't know why I ordered what I ordered.
Back to the Mirage for the annual Satuday night $25 craps run, with predictable results. I was the worst roller of the group - actually, I sucked all trip in rolling. The auction that Layup detailed was memorable. My "Here we go, Hard 6, here we go" caught on for the first 4-5 rolls but then no one else had the energy to sustain for the rest of the rolls. Disappointing.
I have in my notes here that we went back to the UTH table after this; I was about 80% asleep. I think Wiz called this Bizarro Saturday night, as the eye candy we were expecting did not show up. It seemed like everyone weighed about 75 pounds more than we remembered from past Saturday nights.
4 comments:
Seriously, the topless "sights" were burned into my retina. I am still haunted by those visions. Might take the entire off year to forget them.
I was fairly drunk too, but I remember the dude playing high stakes Pai Gow was actually OK. Given the circumstances he could have been a total asshole, and it would have been justifiable based on the way we were both acting. I just remember you crying at one point saying, "OK OK NO MORE - CAN YOU PLEASE GO 30 SECONDS WITHOUT ANY MORE JOKES?!!".
We were both just laughing uncontrollably.
Oh and one other thing I remember was pointing out the "Asian" table (which was behind us) to Leland. Which kicked off a funny exchange that I do not want to detail here.
Classic!
Of all your trips to Vegas, this is your 1st spa experience? You're too funny. You should have been with me at the Monte Carlo where the big fat guy was sleeping in the lounge chairs half exposed and snoring. That's something I'd like to forget.
I don't remember any of this. I am choosing not to remember Eric topless and I really don't remember the Asian comments that Schillzilla is talking about.
Mer: Yes, that is sad, isn't it? First time in a Vegas spa. It's just...weird... hanging around everyone in the spa "waiting room" holding a banana and eating nuts. And that's not a sexual euphemism.
And yes, I think the lounge chairs in the spa were occupied by the same people for 6-8 hours straight.
Jay: Like Lee, I have forgotten about the exchange as well. I think I need a refresher by email.
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