Vegas

I asked Carol a couple of months ago what she wanted for her birthday, and she said a trip to Vegas. So this past weekend we headed to Vegas. We headed out early on Satuday to beat the traffic. I love heading out Saturday morning instead of Friday night. Friday night you have to battle weekend traffic to get out of LA, arrive late that evening after an exhausting 6 hour drive, and then have to battle the long check in line. Ugh. Instead I leave at 7:00am on Saturday morning and get there around 11:00am, energized and ready to go for the entire day.

Stayed at the Mirage. I had some coupons to cover the room that weekend so decided to go back and check out the newly renovated rooms. Huge flat screen TV but still very small. I guess you can't really change the size of the rooms. Perfect for Carol and I, but a little too small for 4 guys. I guess I'm spoiled now after staying at the Palazzo in March.

Highlights from Saturday:
1. Sportsbook: Went 4-0 on sports wagering. Too bad the wagers were pretty small. Figures.
2. Palazzo: Went over to the Palazzo to play some craps. Um...wow. That's all I can say. The place was packed and the table limits were crazy high. Remember that this was on a Saturday afternoon, and there was one $15 craps table and the rest were $25 and $50. We could only find one $25 BJ table, the rest were $50-$500. All roulette tables were $25. What the heck happened since March? I was crushed.
3. Palazzo continued: So we went back to the Mirage to gamble and then returned to the Palazzo to have dinner. While at dinner we were amazed at how many women were walking by that were dressed like grade A prostitues. So after dinner, we went down to the 40-40 club just to people watch. We were camped out in the little sportsbook just outside of the 40-40 entrance and saw a gaggle of asian sluts walking our way. To my delight they stopped and asked Carol if she would take a picture for them, and for the first time ever I saw Carol with a totally pissed off and disgusted look on her face state "No, but maybe he will" as she pointed my way. Now, the one girl was only wearing a leopard print teddy, while one of the other girls wore jeans that were so low that her ass was sticking out of the top of the jeans and you could almost see the goods from the front side. Oh and that one was wearing a bra as a top. Crazy! Beyond words!!!
4. Oakland A's: On Saturday, I wore an A's shirt for the entire day. Just your basic A's shirt. And for some reason I got heckled multiple times. This was a first. Usually the only comments are "Hey you an A's fan"? This time I had a fat old lady eye ball me and say "Oakland? ugh" by which I had no response. Carol had a great response, but just a second too late. Then while walking from the Mirage over to Cesears, I was bum rushed by 5 white trash twenty five year olds who were obviously drunk. I thought I was going to get knifed. No joke. I almost yelled at Carol to run, that's how scared I was for 5 seconds as they were all running towards us. When they approached they were happy I was an A's fan and wanted to take my picture. So the six of us take a picture together. I was so confused. Note to self, don't go outside.
5. Rain: I always thought the worst smell ever was the stream of water running down Borbon Street during Mardi Graw. Nope. By far the worse smell ever was the steady stream of raw sewage running down Las Vegas Blvd after it rained for about 2 hours. The smell made my eyes water. Note to self, don't ever go outside.
6. Ultimate World Series of Poker: Is it a pre-requsite that you have to be a blabber mouth if you want to be a dealer of this game? GOD, everyone just shut up and deal the cards. I don't care about what your neighbors' kids did to their bikes in front of you house the other day. I just want you to flip over you hold cards. PLEASE!!! I know that you are 75 years old and have no one to talk to, but please just deal. And no, this was not the same dealer that Eric and I had back in March. More on him in a second.
7. Crowds- It seemed very packed on Saturday, but talking to one of the BJ pit bosses, he said that it is very slow at the tables. It looks like a lot of people, but no one is gambling. So much so that the Mirage's table limits stayed in the $10-$15 range. Pai Gow was at $25 in the evening, but whenever Carol and I wanted to play blackjack, there was an open $15 table. And they weren't the shuffle machines.
8. Crowds continued: The pit boss continued to state that they are getting a very large influx of Europeans and Asians now that the dollar is weak. They are also seeing a constant flow of 20 year olds, which makes many of the dealers upset because they tend to be drunk, but the pit boss stated that if it was specifically for the California 20 year olds, then the casinos would be dead right now. Then we talked for a while about how do these kids have $1000 to spend in the clubs. Very interesting conversation.
9. Pete Rose was signing autographs at Caesars. Hmmm, is that really a good idea?
10. Carol is the cooler when it comes to the wheel. Poor girl didn't get one spin the entire weekend. I kept on putting in money in the machine after she would play I almost always got a spin right after. It was pretty classic.

Sunday highlights
1. Mirage Craps- Woke up early to play some craps by myself. As usually the dealers sucked ass and I lost. Other than craps and the fact that there really isn't any place to grab a quick bit to eat, I really warming up to the Mirage again. Great sportsbook, great dealers, and the Beatles event is great for people watching.
2. Meza Grill: Went to Meza Grill for Brunch. No too bad. I think we need to try it out next year. We then went for a nice walk up the strip. Below are some comments on the casinos that we stopped in.
3. Caesars: So they now have a new pit called the Pussy Cat Club pit. They have about 10 BJ tables and some other games. Each dealer is a hot girl wearing a bikini. There are two stripper cages in the pit that have girls dancing. Very interesting. Table limits were $25-$50 and not a seat or a women player to be found. Very smart move!
4. Monte Carlo: I really like playing $5 craps at the Monte. The dealers are solid and the lighting is great. Carol and I had a great roll there, but then got killed at BJ. We had King Gooch as our BJ dealer. I wanted to punch him. This asshole kept on saying "there is no way that there still a ten" and then he flips a ten to give himself 21. He did this almost every hand and he won. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. New York New York- Wiz, what the hell is happening there? Half the casino is under major construction. We ended up just leaving and going to the Mandalay.
6. Mandalay Bay- Got pooped on by a bird, so had to get a new shirt. Great. Fuck this place. No gambling.
7. Shark Reef: Carol and I ended up taking a break and checking this place out. Sucked. Couldn't of been more disappointed.
8. Luxor- This place has totally changed since I was last there. Too dark and blue. And not blue as in sad, but blue as in the color. Very strange. No gambling here.
9. Is there a scarier place in Vegas than the area between the MGM and Planet Hollywood? We saw a large M&M standing outside getting his picture taken with two security guards by his side. Really? Is it that dangerous that the poor yellow M&M needs security? After Smith and Wolenskys it felt like I was in East LA. Wow.
10. Planet Hollywood- They have this BJ pit called "The Pleasure Pit" with strippers dancing behind the tables and girls in bikinis dealing. Once again it was all men and it was packed. So the question becomes, how hard is it to get 20 hot girls that are willing to dress in bikinis and are smart enough to deal BJ? Do they get paid more than the other dealers? Some get HR on the line.
11. Saw Jaws from the Bond Movies. I can't remember his name, but he was signing autographs in the mall section of Planet Hollywood. Sort of felt bad for him.
12. Ended up going back to the Mirage, canceling dinner over at the Venetian and playing Ultimate Poker right outside of the Revolutions club. It was just Carol, a guy from Encino, and myself and we had an amazing time. Carol started to get drunk and we were all just watching the sluts coming and going to the club. At certain points it was us three, plus the dealer, plus the pit boss, and the floor supervisor just laughing and making comments on the women standing outside of the club. Then out of nowhere, Shaq shows up. Now this is the second time I've seen Shaq and he is always smiling and waving and giving high fives. This guy absolutely loves his life. He was just walking around with a bunch of security, a couple of groupies, and some of his entourage. I got a wave and a head nod out of him. Then he vanished. Just like that....
13. Pai Gow- So Carol and I played a lot of Pai Gow at the Mirage. Once again we had a great table. We were playing with a 40 year old Korean brother and sister combo who had lots of money. Once they realized that Carol was a newbie, the brother kept on doing side bets on her hand. Carol made us and them a lot of money.
14. Pai Gow continued- Carol finds it funny that I talk to the cards...one by one. "OK ten, find your match. Where are you....AHHHH there you are." I think I annoy everyone else at the table since I really do just look at one card at a time and I'm always the last person to put my cards down. But that's how I like it so everyone else can F off.
15. Sportsbook- 5-0 again and I hit a parlay. So for the trip I ended up 9-0.
16. All in all a great evening. We were down to our last $100 and worked all the way back up to even!!!

Monday Highlights
1. Ugh. While waiting for Carol to get out of the bathroom in the casino I lost a quick $200 at Ultimate Poker. And this is when the idiot dealer that Eric loves was there. He made so many mistakes that the pit boss just stood over his shoulder for the remainder of his session. He cleared cards three different times on the guy next to me when he should of paid. He paid me once when it should of been a loss. The guys upstairs must of been going crazy.
2. Ugh. Lost another $200 at Pai Gow.
3. Ugh. Lost another $400 at Ultimate Poker. Carol got destroyed. She lost two monster hands that took the wind out of our sails.
4. It took 6 hours to get home. Brutal. The traffic was so bad we stopped at Primm outlets and casino. The Primm casino is the home of the highest wheel payout ever at $10 million. Also they have a rule of

Overall, an excellent trip. We need to come up with an alternative place to stay next year since the Palazzo was crazy expensive.