News tidbits

With Layup on vacation, let me fill the void by offering my take on the latest news out there, McLaughlin-style:

Issue 1. Ted Kennedy dies.

A loss for American politics, and I feel bad for the family and all involved. But let's be honest - does "Camelot" and the Kennedys really mean anything to anybody under the age of, 50? The Kennedy mystique was long ago and frankly, I never understood it. What made them special? Their youth? Their idealism? (You really could argue that JFK belongs in today's Republican party - he was no idealist.)

Teddy was an excellent lawmaker, and his presence and knowledge in the Senate will be missed by Americans. But why the national coverage? Will we have this outporing when Bob Dole dies? Newt Gingrich? Hell, Barbara Mikulski? I just don't get why the Kennedys - in 2009 - are still revered as national figures.

Issue 2. Court strikes down most of Delaware's proposal for Sports Gambling

I haven't been paying the most attention, but I guess Delaware wants to creat a lottery based on gambling on NFL games - and a federal court says they can only do it for parlays (3 teams or more).

Can't we make this into a Keno type game? You pick 3 or more games....

Pick 3 out of 3 right - win $5

Pick 4 / 4 - win $10
Pick 5 /5 - win $25

and so on....

and if you pick 10 teams, you win if you get 9 or 10 right. The prize for 10/10 could be $500 on a $1 ticket (true odds: 1024:1).

I mean, there's got to be something in here for everyone, right? Parlays for the NFL are popular and proven losers for the gamblers. Teh stae makes money, people are happy, Delaware schools are flushed with cash.....what's not to like?

Issue 3: A Molecule is photographed

This has got to be the coolest science article ever. My mid is officially boggled.

How in the hell did they do this?

Issue 4: Macaulay Culkin is father to one of Michael Jackson's children

Now my head is really spinning. I am speechless over this news. Just think of me as Jack Germond, sitting in the corner, saying "this country is going to hell".

The jokes, however, just write themselves.

Issue 5: Don loses 8 blackjack hands in a row in Indiana.

Good thing it was at a $5 table and so the losses were held to a minimum. Oh wait, hands #6, #7 and #8 were played for green chips.....

Balls of Steel

OK, I admit it, I sometime read "Carolyn Hax" on the Washington Post website. (sometimes? -ed.) All right, almost every day.

How about this question from a woman on Friday's chat:

Reston, Va.: Last week my husband wrote me an e-mail at work to ask me if I would mind moving the appointment we currently have to induce our daughter (I am due next week) to a later time that evening... to ACCOMMODATE his fantasy football league draft that evening!!!

Now that, my friends, is a man with balls of steel.

I'm getting pumped for the NFL

All this Brett Favre crapola has me pumped for the NFL season. All the talk about Favre and the Vikings make me madder than hell. Many people are talking about the schedule the Vikes have.

Peter King, talking about the Vikings and critiquing the Favre signing:
It's also quite possible,... that the Vikings could start very strong, and either Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson could have solidified his grip on the job and the team will decided it's fine at quarterback. (First five Viking games: at Cleveland, at Detroit, San Francisco, Green Bay, at St. Louis.)
Wouldn't you agree Minnesota could be 4-1 or 5-0, even with mediocre quarterback play?

Go screw yourself.

We are going to sneak up on the Vikes and beat them week 1. In Cleveland. Mangini will push the right buttons and force Favre's hand. We'll pull out the bag of tricks. Maybe - just maybe - our coach can out-coach someone else for a chance (Lord know, it didn't happen the last 4 years).

But all this Favre talk is making me look more and more forward to September 13.

Cleveland 24, Minnesota 16.

Quit your whining

I'm sick and tired of hearing the PGA golfers whine about Hazeltine's length. Oooooh, it's 7600 yards! It's too hard! Too bad.

I just got done playing in the Ohio State Publinx two weeks ago at Cook's Creek. Steve (that's 40-year-old Steve, now), Kermit and I played from the back tees in the practice round. It played almost 7100 and it was soft. And that 7100 included a par 4 of 310 yards and a par 3 of 130 yards. It could have easily been 7200, 7300

That was too long for me.

But I hit the ball 240 yards off the tee.

These pro golfers hit it 300 in the air. And really - it's not just the pros. My playing partners in the tournament all outdrove me by 60-70 yards. They were hitting 7-, 8- irons into long par 4s of 460, 470 when I was hitting hybrids.

These are 18, 19, 20 year olds who play golf at Division II or III schools. (well, I lost to the guy from Morehead State, a D-I school, but I beat the others).

These aren't PROS.

And they are hitting short irons into 450, 460 yards par 4's. Doesn't that say anything? It's not much of a challenge for them. What kind of a challenge is it for the pros?

oooooh, a 514 yard par 4? Well, that just means you have about 210 in for your second. Hell, I birdied a par 4 in my tournament having 210 in. 5-wood to 12 feet, made the putt.

It's not too long for them. Join the real world and hit the same yardage we hit.

A 460 yard hole is now driver, 7 iron.

A 500 yard hole is driver, 5 iron.

That's a good par 4.

A three shot hole - which used to be known as par 5's - should be at least 600, if not 650. Driver, fairway wood - let's say a total of 550 yards - should leave you a full wedge (100) in. 650 yards is about right for a PGA par 5.

I don't get it. The technology has evolved. The yardage must, as well. I expect a major to force pros to hit clubs longer than a 9 iron into par 4's. Too bad if they are not used to it.

I fully expect to see an 8,000 yard PGA tour event sometime within the next 10 years. And guess what? It's still not too long.

4 par 3's with an average length of 210
10 par 4's with an average length of 460 (average approach: 8 iron)
4 par 4's of length 590, 620, 650, and 690

That's 7990 yards. And perfectly fair for the pros.

Gambling on Video Games

Thank you Dudeman for this story. I can only imagine Other Brad's reaction if he was losing a game he had money on against Keith, who was running out the clock in the 3rd quarter. Priceless.

Should video gamers be allowed to bet real money on their gaming skills (or lack thereof)?
BringIt.com thinks so and hopes to capitalize on the concept. As reported by the Associated Press, the site, which is apparently legal in 39 states, will end its beta phase any day now.
BringIt says that the service it provides is not a form of gambling because its outcomes are based on skill, not chance. From the AP report:
It's free to sign up, provided you are at least 18. The site makes money by taking a 10 percent cut from people's wagers and a $4 fee from winners when they withdraw their loot.Founder and CEO Woody Levin, 30, said most of the players on BringIt play for small amounts of money, $5 or $10...

BringIt supports the PlayStation 2, the PS3, the Xbox 360 and the Wii. Players challenge each other on the site, but play on their consoles. BringIt holds players' entry fees until the game is finished. After the game is done, it verifies the results and credits the winner, minus the service fee.
Arizona is one of 11 states in which BringIt is illegal, but the Phoenix New Times suggests - with tongue in cheek - that it could be a potential source of tax revenue:
Who knows? Maybe Levin and BringIt will someday steer as much money toward Arizona politicians as the racing industry does, and then Arizona video nuts can clean out each other's bank accounts -- with the state taking its cut, natch.
ESPN The Magazine has an in-depth interview with BringIt's Levin, who mentions that bets can be as high as $100,000.

Ah, memories

Got out the old Monopoly board to teach Freddie and Warren the grand old game of Monopoly. Their first few attempts at trading were hilarious.

Warren (to Freddie): "I'll trade you my "Get out of Jail Free" card for all of your $500 bills!

Freddie (later, to Warren): "I'll trade for your railroad (he already had 3, needed the 4th) for $50!"

I helped engineer a 3-way trade involving the 4th RR, Virginia, North Carolina and Oriental.

(This brings back memories of playing Monopoly with the guys at my first job at TASC....I think people still talk about the 4-way trade I held up because I inisisted on receiving Reading RR and not Short Line. No one freaking lands on Short Line!)

I was so busy explaining all the rules that, during the first time I went around the board, I landed on Free Parking - but I forgot to put $500 in the Kitty! Dammit.... Layup and I always put $500 in Free Parking to start the game. I did that at college and several people looked at me funny. Doesn't everyone put some sort of bonus in there?

Wall Street Gooch

I have a serious question for Wiz here.

We all hate the "gooch" - for example, you have 20 at the BJ table and someone leans over and says "Congrats on the win"! Of course, the dealer winds up getting a 21 to deflate you - and you are legally allowed to punch the person who congratulated you in the nuts.

Now - does this extend to Wall Street? From P&G's quarterly report analysis:

The results contrasted an upbeat report from German rival Henkel (XETRA:HNKG-P.DE - News), which said its business would not get any worse this quarter after a decline in raw material prices and cost-cutting helped it beat estimates.


I mean, really? Wiz - is this CEO of Henkel stupid or smart? Should you publicly come out and say it "can't get any worse"? What does Wall Street think of this?

Two quick questions

1. If your "friend" compares your pre-shot routine to something done by a Tourette's Syndrome sufferer - is that an insult or a compliment?

2. Four words:

Flo: Hot or Not?