NFL Week 12: Bar Rescue

For this week's show to review, we look at Bar Rescue! This seems to be one of the 4 shows that the Paramount network has on its regular rotation, so it is almost always on - and I am still seeing episodes that I haven't watched come up!

Name: Bar Rescue

Starring: Jon Taffer

Network: Paramount Network

Time: Sunday nights, almost every weekday morning

Bar Rescue is one of those "makeover" programs, focusing on struggling bars. It's hard for me to believe that this show has been around for 6 years - and over 170 episodes in the vault. They are still filming episodes, as there are new ones being broadcast at 10 pm on Sundays. 

Basically, struggling bar owners write in to Jon Taffer asking him to help save their bar; they are usually in debt over 6 figures (sometimes up to a million) and need Taffer's help to see what is wrong. The Bar Rescue team then installs hidden cameras in the bar to collect info for a few weeks on the operation of the bar. 

Each episode is usually the same; the episode opens with Taffer and his team sitting in a car outside the bar watching the operation. Sometimes they will send spies in to order drinks and food to see how they are treated. This is where we learn that the owner is lazy, and drunk; the bartenders don't know basic drinks; security is lax, and the food is gross. 

At some point, Taffer says "I've had enough - I'm heading in" as he leaves his car to confront the owner. Then he goes on a yelling rampage with his observations - yes, always yelling - to get his point across. Then we go to a commercial break. 

After the break, it's the next morning with a staff meeting, and Taffer leads it, and is much calmer; the focus usually is on one part of the operation - the kitchen, the raccoons in the bar, the sexual harassment, etc. By the middle of the episode, personnel decisions have to be made- do we want to fire one of the offending personnel?

They do some training and then a "stress test" - where Taffer fills up the bar with customers to see how the bar will operate at full capacity. This is always a mess. No one can keep up with drinks, and bartenders screw up again, and Taffer keeps yelling. Now that they now the specific weak areas, more training is given and Taffer and his team makes renovations to the bar.

The episode ends with the unveiling of the changes and another soft opening, where the customers are now happily served and everything works well. Taffer leaves, saying "my work is done here". 

Yes, it's formulaic - but we learn so much about the industry. It's amazing to me how many of the owners just buy bars as their own personal party place- finances be damned. The kitchens are usually a mess - and makes me think twice about ordering bar food in a dark joint again. And maybe I do like whiskey drinks - they've just been made by idiots so they taste bad!

Well, after last week's picks, I think I need Taffer to come into the blog and rescue my selection process. What a bloodbath last week. It's a miracle I went 3-2 in the Supercontest. I think I got every other pick wrong in my "best bets" section. Ugh. 

It can't get much worse this week - can it? On to the previews:

Bal 24, Oak 10. Don't see how Oakland will move the ball much against this defense. Another start for Lamar to see how he does.

Buf 16, Jax 13. I firmly believe Buffalo is an average home team, especially with Barkley, and Jacksonville has now checked out after last week's choke.

Car 27, Sea 20. Seattle can't keep giving 100% week after week. They are due a letdown at some point- and Carolina can't afford to lose this. 

NE 27, NYJ 17. What to say? I still don't know how good or average the Patriots are. 

Phi 31, NYG 24. How do we evaluate the Eagles now? Is Wentz really all that good? Are the Giants surging? Should be an interesting game.

SF 31, TB 27. I like this Niners team, and Shanahan the coach will demolish this bad Bucs D.

LAC 24, Az 10. Something is off with the Chargers - they can't finish drives, they can't get the big stop....Arizona won't take advantage, but this won't be a blowout.

Ind 31, Mia 20. Love the way the Colts are playing now, especially at home. Not sure how the Dolphins stop Indy.

Pit 27, Den 20. Pit had their wake up call last week and will come out firing against the Broncos D. They should be able to stop Keenum as well.

Min 30, GB 20. This is it for the Pack. The divorce between McCarthy and Rodgers is coming -and they may have already checked out. 

Hou 23, Ten 16. Hou's run D will be too much for the Titans attack. 

Best bets: 11 of them. Last week: 3-9-1; overall: 66-74-5

Oak/Bal under 42.5

Buf +3

Buf/Jax under 37.5

Car -3

NYG/Phi over 48

SF +2

Az/LAC under 43.5

Ind -8

Pit -3

Min -3

Hou -4

Supercontest picks: Last week: 3-2; overall: 28-24-3

Buf +3

Car -3.5

SF +3.5

Pit -3

Min -3.5

NFL Week 11: Barefoot Contessa

The Browns have a bye after a great win at home vs. Atlanta. Our record is now 3-6-1, and one hates to second-guess games over the past 10 weeks that could have gone our way. Specifically:
- looking back, how did we lose to Oakland? How did Oakland score 45 against us?
- that Tampa game - and the 59 yard kick by Canizaro - was a complete farce. We had no business losing that game
- and then there was the Saints game - now it's shocking we only lost by 3 to them on the road! And we could have easily won that with an average kicker.

So we realistically could be 6-3-1, and leading the wild card chase in the AFC. Argh. So frustrating. At least one of our issues has been removed (Hue).

Anyway, it's time to take a breath, sit back and relax this week and watch other teams flail. And there's one show on that I watch that is "feel-good" TV - sit back, watch, and get a smile on my face. I'm a sap for Ina Garten and the Barefoot Contessa.

Show: The Barefoot Contessa

Network: Food Network

Time: Weekends, around 8:30 am

Starts: Ina Garten, Jeffrey Garten

What else to say? I enjoy watching Ina cook as she gets ready for her dinner parties. Each show usaually is about a dinner party she is preparing for her friends in the Hamptons on Long Island. How will she make a fancy feast for 6-8 in just a few hours with minimal to no work? It's easy!

Ina takes the viewers on that journey, starting from the items as bought - from a butcher, fish market, or vegetable stand- usually asking the vendor to prep it in some way for ease. ("I asked to butcher to tie this roast for me - so easy, and it saves time"). Then she whips together some sauce or marinade for the meat - can be done in 30 seconds or so - places it on the meat, and voila! "Put in the oven for 60 minutes.

How easy is that?

She repeats for a vegetable and a side - dishes that seem like they need 45 seconds to prepare, if you have everything pre-measured and cut from the store - and there you go! An elegant dinner party in just 5 minutes!

Ina got her start in cooking after marrying Jeffrey in 1968; he was in the military and they were stationed in France; he started to learn cooking methods over there and was enthralled by all the food markets in France. They came back to the US and Ina worked - can you believe this - in the Office of Management and Budget under Ford and Carter.

She quit the government work in the 70s and focused on working full time in cooking; she bought a store called "Barefoot Contessa" and owned that for 20 years. She then went into publishing cookbooks in the late 90s and was a complete surprise hit. I think I bought 3 of these cookbooks for Janice as Christmas gifts in the early 2000s.

She was approached for a show for the Food Network in 2002 - and she turned it down multiple times before finally agreeing; it was the top rated show on the Network for years. It played constantly on the Asia satellite channel when we were in Guangzhou; Janice and I would watch marathons when we were bored.

So that's my comfort food on this bye weekend. Settle down and watch Ina cook a banquet for 8 in 11 minutes flat. About as fast as Nick Chubb's time to run 92 yards against the swiss chees Atlanta defense!

To the picks:

Atl 34, Dal 23. Talking about the Falcons, they are a different team at home and I don't see Dallas outscoring them. I know Zeke may have 200+ yards.....Julio will have 200 of his own.

Bal 30, Cin 17. I think the Bengals are done. Very interesting to see what Jackson can do for the Ravens today.

Car 31, Det 27. A sneaky hard game for the Panthers. They struggle on the road and Detroit will put up points at home. The Lions could actually sneak this one out.

Ind 27, Ten 20. Playing the home teams big this week. Tennessee is coming off their emotional win vs. the Pats, and the Colts offense looks very good. The Colts will do just enough on D to win.

NYG 24, TB 20. I can't talk rationally about the Bucs anymore. They should score 35 every game but a comedy of errors each week prevents them from doing that. They are the Browns of the NFC.

Hou 23, Was 20. No real clue here. I just think Hou's run D will force the Skins to pass more than they want, and they just don't have the weapons in the passing game.

Pit 27, Jax 20. Waiting for the annual Pittsburgh road misstep vs. an inferior opponent. This could be the time. Jax's offense looked competent in the second half last week.

Az 23, Oak 13. What to say about the Raiders any more? Not sure how they get more than 13 against a pretty good defense on the road. I like Rosen to move the ball here.

LAC 24, Den 20. The Chargers can be stopped by good defenses, and Denver has an OK defense. he Chargers won't run away with this one.

NO 34, Phi 31. This is the final stand for Philly; I think they will move the ball in the air against the weak Saints pass D. The Saints will do just enough to win.

Chi 23, Min 21. Not the biggest fan of the 1-dimensional Vikes offense - no running game yet - and that plays into the Bears' hands. And the Bears are a much better offensive team at home.

KC 33, LAR 30. Just a hunch; the Rams have not been playing excellent football recently, especially defensively, and the injury of Cupp is big.

Best bets: 13 of them. Last week: 6-5-1; overall: 63-65-4
Sea -2.5 (Winner! Had this for the Supercontest too!)
Atl -3
Dal/Atl over 49.5
Bal -5.5
Ind -1.5
Car/Det over 49.5
TB/NYG under 53
AZ -5
Oak/Az under 41
Den +7
Phi +7.5
Phi/NO over 56
KC +3.5

Supercontest picks: last week: 2-2-1; overall: 25-22-3
Sea -2.5 (winner!)
Atl -3.5
Ind -2
Phi +8.5
KC +3.5

NFL Week 10: Cheaters

Cheaters! Ah yes, the pinnacle of reality TV. I was on the couch most of Saturday morning (yesterday) and watched a 3 hour marathon - surprisingly satisfying! It's like a bite size Halloween candy - fun, short, easy to enjoy and you don't feel guilty for having more than one!

Show: Cheaters

Network: VH1

When: Saturday mornings, 6am - 2 pm

Main Characters: Joey Greco, Clark Gable

Where to start? I remember this show when it first came out in 2000. Oooh boy, Janice hated when I watched this show on Saturday nights before we went out or something. (That was before kids and we actually went out.) It's still on the air after all these years!

The show Cheaters is produced by the Cheaters Detective Agency, who tries to get video evidence that a partner is cheating. The partner that is concerned comes to the agency with their story - "my lover is now distant and working a lot! - and asks for help to see if their partner is actually cheating.

The Detective Agency then stakes out the suspect - at home, at work, other places, and gets video evidence of any canoodling. Could be video of picking up a new girl on the way home from work, going to an apartment when the suspect is supposedly visiting family, etc. The video usually shows some kissing and hugging and nothing too graphic. (Although one episode yesterday involved footage from cameras inside a house and they captured a sex scene).

With indisputable evidence that the suspect is cheating, the Cheaters Detective Agency then takes the footage to the client to show her/him. This is a complete surprise to the client! Lots of tears and ranting. Then the big question:

"Our agents know the suspect is with the third party right now. Do you want to go and confront the suspect ?"

Of course, the answer is yes-  and the final part of the show begins - the Confrontation!

The confrontation involves 10-12 staffers of the agency (cameramen, soundmen) with the host of the show and the client. The client usually comes flying in and starting flailing at the suspect - "How could you? Who the hell is this slut?" as the suspect is completely blindsided. Our hosts tries to act like John Chancellor and get the suspect's side of the story in a calm manner -but that's not going to happen.

Sometimes there's violence- there was one show where Joey the host apparently got stabbed, but others claim that was made up. Making up scenes for TV? I've never heard of that.

Episodes usually end with the client saying "I never want to see you again!!!!" The last bit of the sow is the epilogue - after a few days, does the client really mean that? It's about 50/50 if the client gets back together with the suspect for "one more chance" or if they cut ties for good.

It's all packaged together in a neat 30 minute show - predictable, entertaining, and sometimes fakily violent! What else do you want in a reality show? Oh yes- the hosts! I always associated Joey Greco with this show - he was the host for 11 years up until 2013 - and then a stranger named Clark Gable became the host. I asked myself "What kind of idiot would make that up as a stage name?? Why would you do that to yourself?" However, in actuality, the Cheaters Clark Gable is the actual grandson of the real Clark Gable! Who knew?

I fell like a Cheaters client every time I go to a Browns game in Cleveland - I love this team, this is the week they will do well.....and of course, the video tape and the game shows a massive disappointment. We head to the parking lot and the 4+ hour drive back - and I ask myself each time... "Why do I do this? It's not worth it. I'm not doing it again"...

And here we are, a few days later, as I act like the jilted client - "well, he's not that bad. I'll give him another chance. What's the home schedule for 2019?"

On to the games...

Chi 27, Det 17. Trubisky is a fine QB at home - and the problems of the Lions OL will show up again here.

NO 30, Cin 23. Did you enjoy the Dez Bryant Saints era? Can see both teams moving the ball here, and a big game by Joe Mixon.

Jax 23, Ind 17. Let's not go crazy on the Colts. Their last two games - which were wins - were against Oakland and the Bills. The Jags will put up some defense here.

KC 27, Az 10. Classic Milton Berle game for the Chiefs here. They will only do what's needed to win. The Az defense will actually force them to punt a few times (unlike Cleveland last week).

NYJ 24, Buf 17. McCown is still younger than Brady - how about that? And Barkley will score some points for the Bills -it can't get any worse, right?

TB 30, Was 20. Just too many injuries for Washington here. The Bucs should get some pressure on Smith and I can't see the Skins surviving in a high scoring game.

NE 27, Ten 17. Just don't see the Titans getting over 20 points here, and the Pats will be able too. I know it's Vrabel vs. his old team - just don't see the firepower.

LAC 26, Oak 23. Look, the Chargers haven't been home since week 5. It's week 10 now. They have played at Cle, in London, a bye, at Seattle, and now another road game. It has to catch up to them.

GB 31, Mia 24. No idea here. Still hate the Packers D which will allow a Miami backdoor possible.

LAR 30, Sea 24. There are significant holes in the Rams defense that a good offense will exploit. We saw that with the Packers and Saints. The Hawks aren't at that level, but close.

Dal 23, Phi 21. OK, everyone, let's slow down on Philly. Philly still has problems on the offensive side and Dallas has a decent D. And Zeke should gain lots of yards against Phi's run D.

NYG 24, SF 23. Who knows. I'm betting that Mullins can't make back to back points here.

Best bets: 12 of them. Last week: 6-6; overall: 57-60-3
Chi -7
Jax +3
Jax/Ind under 47
Az/KC under 49.5
Buf/NYJ over 36.5
TB -3
NE -6.5
Oak +10
Mia/GB over 47.5
Sea/LAR over 50
Dal +7.5
NYG +3.5

Supercontest picks: Last week: 3-2; overall: 23-20-2
Chi -6.5
Jax +3
TB -3
Oak +9.5
Dal +6.5

NFL Week 9

Sorry - no write up of a key show this week as we are getting on the road to Cleveland for the game today! My predictions:

Bal 24, Pit 17
Atl 27, Was 24
NYJ 23, Mia 20
Min 31, Det 24
Chi 20, Buf 10
Car 30, TB 20
Sea 29, LAC 23
Hou 24, Den 23
NO 31, LAR 28
NE 34, GB 28
Dal 20, Ten 17

Best bets: 12 of them. last week: 5-7, overall: 51-54-3

Bal -2.5
Bal/Pit under 47
Atl +2
NYJ +3
Det/Min over 48.5
Chi/Buf under 37.5
Car -6.5
Sea pk
Hou +1
NO +2
GB/NE over 56
Ten +4

Supercontest picks: Last week: 2-3, overall 20-18-2
Bal -3
NYJ +3
Hou +1
NO -1.5
Ten +6.5