Vegas 2014 Diary - Part 3

Friday, March 14

Before we get into more of the play-by-play details of the day, I do want to talk about one theme that was present during the trip this year. Usually, when Layup and I room together, the TV is set to ESPN for the entire 5 days - and it doesn't move. We watch repeats of SportsCenter over and over until falling asleep, and the day sometimes begins with Stephen A yelling at us.

But not this year. Every once in a while, a significant news event occurs during the Vegas trip. In 2003, everyone in this group can remember the War in Iraq starting the Wednesday before tipoff of the first round games. That led to many profanities against Dan Rather and CBS whenever they broke into coverage of the tournament.

This year, the MH370 tragedy/search/farce was omnipresent. We had the TV glued to CNN most of the time in the room for any new information on where this plane actually went. Recall that it disappeared the morning of March 8. At this point, it is now March 14 - and this was about the time where the Malaysian authorites were absolutely clueless on which "zone" in the ocean to search. And it was sometime during this trip where it was announced that the plane was still sending signals to a satellite 7 hours after takeoff.

It was horrifying and fascinating at the same time. I know this sounds crazy, but at this time - the most logical answer to "What happened to the plane?" was that it was hijacked and in Northern Afghanistan somewhere. I couldn't get enough of the rumor mongering on CNN, the "unofficial" MH370 24/7 news channel.

Anyway, this Friday was Southern Highlands day - the annual tradition of golfing at the premier course in Vegas that is always a treat. There wasn't much sleep for me again the night before, and the wake up call came around 7:30. Time for the morning Baccarat with Ana!

And this time, Ana treated me well. I was there for about an hour - and I do remember a banker run of about 7 or 8. I kept partial pressing on each win, and Ana would get concerned for me  - "don't get crazy!".  Ana, you want crazy? Let me introduce you to my friend Wiz.

After that session, there was only time for a shower - no breakfast! - and off to the car to play Southern Highland. We got there - and the lack of sleep, food and the Absinthe all were conspiring against me. My head pounded, and I was in no mood for any physical activity. The friendly locker room attendant - the same guy that was been there each year - offered Motrin...I took 4.

Golf was ......well, not good for the first 4-5 holes or so. Then I started to hit fairways with the no-tee approach, and some putts were dropping. The entire foursome started playing well on the 7th, with Mike hitting the flag on the approach; on 9, I hit a drive, bunt 3 wood to 135, and then a thin 9 iron that rolled up to 2 feet.

On to 10 - where I was right of the green in 2, and got up and down. On 11, the turkey burger I had didn't kick in yet, and I held my hands out on the tee box - and they were visibly shaking. Wiz said: "you too, huh?" and his were wobbly as well. The drinking and lack of sleep had caught up to all of us.

11 - a miracle chip from the right of the green to 6 feet, but I missed the putt. (I still regret that). 12 - par. 13 - routine par. 14 - bunker in 2, blast to 15 feet - made it. 15 - the hole I hate - driver, hybrid just over the green; bad chip to 20 feet but I canned the putt. 16 - 70 feet away in 2, and a nice 2 putt. 17 - the 190 par 3 - hybrid to 15 feet, par. On 18 I hit a good drive, but aimed at the creek in the center of the fairway, and found it. A double for a 39. Best nine in Vegas in a LOOOOONG time.
(Sorry for boring you with that, but it is memorable, and I had to put it down in here for reflection...)

After the snacks/pear vodka in the locker room after the round, there was no time for gambling since we had a 6:00 dinner reservation at Lavo - another tradition. We met in the lobby at 5:45 - everyone was there except for Leland. Where is he? Well, no one was exactly sure. The stories came in:
- his phone is ruined as some naked strippers at Bare threw him into the pool;
- he started drinking at 9:00 am and had already passed out for the day;
Leland was ofifically listed as "questionable" for the dinner at 5:45.

Dinner was awesome, as usual. Layup and Ira started to pound fireball shots and beer chasers; that got up to about 4 per person when the entrée came. Leland was downgraded to "doubtful" at 6:15, as we all realized there's no way for us to contact him (and vice versa) with the phone being ruined.

The conversation at the dinner table revolved around naming teams in obscure NCAA conferences. We started with the MEAC - Ira and I challenged each other in a "countdown" style. Keep naming one until you couldn't. We got to the 13th team (I took a mulligan with one accidental repeat) and couldn't name the last one - Howard. Argh!
We did it again with the SWAC - and I won that one.
Last came the mascot game - name the mascots of various NCAA college. This is where my absence from the US for 4 years really showed. I was very rusty on this - and it's clear that Ira was a specialist in the small East Coast colleges. I got him on some of the Midwestern colleges - IUPUI , anyone? - but there were several teams he named that I knew 5 years ago but simply forgot.

After the fried Oreos - I had 4, thank you - We headed back to the Mirage for the night - it was only 8:00 pm. As you can guess, Leland did not show for dinner. First stop back at the Mirage was the craps table - an open one! Three of us went on one end - I think it was Ira, Mike and I - and the other three - Wiz, Layup and Don - were on the other end. Time for Team Craps! Which team would make more points in one round around the table?

Don was not present to begin - so Layup started for the other team. 2 points made. Wiz - Zero. So it was our turn - and Mike saved the day with 2 points to my 0 and Ira's blank.
We kept waiting for Don to complete the roll for the other team - but he was nowhere to be found. Mike informed us that "dinner was not sitting well with him". Mike was going to use the public restrooms on the casino floor for the rest of the night.  Wiz pinch hit, sevened out quickly, and the game was suspended at 2-2.

Then we ran over to the baccarat room. Most of us sat down - can't remember the exact people at this table - and started playing. Most of the others were jumping around - going from banker to player and back haphazardly. I seemed to always be opposite Mike - betting the other way against him - and I could catch no cards. Mike seemed to be on fire against me - a Tiger Woods at the table. I couldn't beat him! And if we did end up on the same side, it was nothing spectacular - some wins, some losses. I lost all the profit from the session with Ana from the morning.

And this is where the trip turned. We all got up, I'm just wandering around the baccarat room, when Mike says "Are you going to cash in?" I usually go to the main cage to change my chips into cash - in fact, I always go there - but Mike suggested we do it there, in the baccarat room. There is a desk in the back where you can go cash in. So I went against my normal routine and cashed in there....and then went to the Salon with Layup and Wiz......

The blackjack session was awful. Nothing went right. Carnage everywhere with the 3 of us. It go so bad that I had 2-2 vs a 7.......and, in a desperate attempt to shake things up, I decided to split.

First card received - an 8. Oh boy, here we go. Now I'm doubling (at least I have 10). I got a 5. Nice.

Next 2 - I receive another 2. I don't believe it. OK, we'll split that too and flush more money down the drain. One of the 2's busted, and for the second 2 - a 7, for a 9 total. Fine, we will double.

I ended up playing 5 units on that hand - and went 0-3-2. So much for shaking things up at the table......the losses kept mounting until I finally had enough and picked up.

It was about 1 am or so, and I should have gone to bed, but.....well,,, the baccarat table started calling again. Layup and I sat down for one more session -and it was quickly clear that we should not have. More losses as I searched in vain for Mike. "Where is he? He's unbeatable! He needs to tell he how to bet......" . At 3 am, we called it a night, and Layup and I went back upstairs where I fell asleep for about 45 minutes......


 

2014 Vegas Diary - Part 2

Thursday, March 13

There is always one day of the trip that is the most memorable one, where the group picks this day as the day most representative of that years' trip. Most of the "signature" days come on a Friday or Saturday, such as the Golden Nugget day of 2007, the cabana day of 2008, the downtown day of 2012, etc. For whatever reason, Thursday turned out to be the signature day of the 2014 trip.

Up and at them around 8, 8:30 - and the first order of business was to obtain the annual gift to the group - the $10 Money Line bet on America's favorite hockey team! That was done around 9 as the early NCAA games started to tip off. Saw Todd and Ben with Ira in the book as they were watching the games; Todd proceeded (again) to introduce himself. I admire his ability to get hammered by halftime of the first ACC quarterfinal.

Back for the morning baccarat session with Ana, the Filipino; she kept giving me "5"s which is an average hand in baccarat; that resulted in a wash of a session. After breakfast - where everyone received various casino chips from New Zealand - we did a group run to the craps table. It was proven again that none of us could roll.

At about 11:30, we packed up and headed to our first golf round at Shadow Creek. Shadow is a course wholly owned by MGM for the use of the casino guests of their resorts. The day started out nicely with the two caddies coming up to the 5 of us and complimenting all of us - "usually, we get guys that can't hit the ball 100 yards". (Well, he hasn't seen my mid-round tee shot yet).

I was nervous as hell on the first tee. I had been working hard on the tee shot to be looser and more aggressive; there was water on the left (which is where I miss it if I overcook it) on the dogleg left opening hole. The range session was good - I stepped up to the first tee - picked out a spot on the right side of the fairway - prayed - and took the club back.

I finished through the ball and it took off on a line down the left side of the fairway, just missing a fairway bunker. Fairway hit, 270 yd tee hit. Holy shit.

The next shot was a full wedge that I put to 15 feet; I had an uphill putt to win the first hole for the team - but even though I missed it, I was so happy. Par on the first.

That was it for a while. The next tee shots were: 100 yards left (#2), 230 yd hook into the water (#3, #4), 80 yd worm burner into the weeds (#5), 100 yard pull (#6), ....

Well, so much for positive thinking.

On #14 or #15, I joked about what I did last year when I struggled - I threw the tee ball on the ground and teed off from the deck. Why don't I start here? It was a 470 yds par 4. I placed the ball on the turf - and whack - 240 down the middle. Par. Good drive on 16; 17 was a unbelievable par 3 which could resemble an elevated #12 at Augusta. I took at 8 iron - ball started right of the flag and drew in to the left-side pin position. Right on line.....

.... until it flew everything and into the back pond.

Oh well. Made a back-breaker 12 foot uphill putt for par on 18 to win money from Don and Wiz. Felt a bit better after hitting the last 3 fairways without a tee.

Two notes from the round:

- Someone was on fire on the front side, and it wasn't Wiz, Don, Mike or I. Leland came through with the career nine of 39 on the front at Shadow Creek. 2 birdies, was it? Great driving, excellent irons and no three putts. Awesome to see. I think he will retire from the game for 10 years after that round.

- Nothing worse than the battery dying on your phone when you are trying to track the Cincinnati/Central Florida under (largest over/under bet at 4 units) and America's favorite hockey team trying to protect a 3rd period, 1-goal lead. Mike and Leland were pissed at my constant requests for their phone on the last 3 holes.

The locker room was a shrine to current sports stars. There was the Michael Jordan locker. Mike Shanahan had a locker - which was the background for some pictures taken by the Skins fan in the group. And then we saw a large black man laid out on the couch, dressed in golf gear, watching the games. I thought nothing of it - until Wiz/Leland started to talk about him.

"You know who I think that was?". No.....

"That's Shannon Sharpe's brother! You know, the receiver?"

Sterling Sharpe? Yes, yes, that was him!

Sterling may have gained a few pounds since his playing days, but there he was, on the couch in the locker room. This concludes the 2014 version of "Celebrities we have seen gambling during our trip" (although there were reports of Montell Williams in the high-limit slot area this year).

We got back just in time to get ready for dinner, at Sage at the Aria. Hoo boy, what an adventure this was. Our reservation was at 7 - we got there in time, seated fine - and then it seemed that it took forever for the server to come over. And then the sommelier did not appear for a while. Our appetizers took a while to arrive.

The poor sommelier came over after the appetizers and Layup said very loudly and dryly "Well, thanks for showing up" or some such sarcastic remark. Ah, I see the alcohol was kicking in!

My choice for the entrée came down to the pork chops - which I do not get at ALL in China - or the flank steak. I asked the waitress - she recommended the pork. Wiz went with the pork also. Layup, Don and Mike all chose the steak.

The food came - well, let's just say there were orgasmic sounds coming from Layup, Don and Mike. "This is the best steak I have ever eaten!" "It just melts in your mouth - I'm not exaggerating!!" "Oh My God, I'm going to cum" were the quotes from the three of them.

The pork? It was good, yes, but it's hard to enjoy a meal when the entrée you declined to order is causing those sorts of reactions. Yes, I was jealous. dammit. The portions were not large for any of us - which would come into play later.

We all ordered dessert - great - and then we all ordered Absinthe, an after dinner drink. That may have been a mistake.  I still don't know what goes in that - but they lit it on fire at the table. It was about 8 ounces in a goblet - and, of course, there were dares on the other side of the table to chug the drink.

So - we were well oiled as we left the beautiful Aria to go back to the Mirage.  (Why don't we stay at the Aria some year???) . I'm not sure how it got so late, but the book was closed when I got back - and I had plenty of tickets to cash. They told me I could cash them at the main cage. Fine! I'll head over there.

Boy, that's a big mistake. I had 9 winners to cash..... the process to cash a winner at the cage involved multiple steps and stapling a receipt to each ticket. It took 15 minutes there to get the cash needed for the night.

I found the group at the baccarat table, where all 7 of us where going to "own" the table for the night. It started with the staff trying to open the table and the glass lid on the chips; their key would not work. We had to move to the corner table when the fun finally began.

First, the display went out. "Dongle not present" or some such error was on the baccarat display screen. With all of us buzzed (at least) or drunk, that message was the based of a few bad puns.  After a while, a technician came over a fixed it; I offered to tip him a $5 chip for his effort. He was not allowed to take it. I offered again, again, and one more time. He was ready to pull the wrench out of his bag and whack me.

After another half hour, I look over at Layup. Uh oh. I see red splotches on his face and he is getting a bit bloated. He's having an allergic reaction. He says he feels fine, but will go and get some Benadryl from the store when the time is right.

Being the concerned brother I am, I stand up and go talk to the pit boss. I'm not drunk, but I'm not sober either.

"Yes, sir?"

yeah - my brother over there? He may be having an allergic reaction.

"What? Do you want me to call a doctor or the ambulance???"

No, no, no, God no. I just want to ask - do you have an Epi-Pen in case we need it?

"An Epi-Pen? Let me call a doctor now, sir!"

No, please, no, don't do that right now. Please lower your voice.

Too late. Layup found out what I was doing.

"What the F? I'm fine. Did you just ask her for an Epi-Pen?"

Well, yes, just to be sure.

"I'm fine....Jesus....ok, I'll go get some Benadryl"

Layup comes back with Benadryl - and peanuts and Beef Jerky!

"I'm still hungry from that meal!". He proceeds to open up the package at the table. "Anybody want some?"

Well, I guess, since it's here...sure.....

Layup passes it around, takes some more jerky - oh look, the cards are in front of him! He picks them up.

"Sir! No food at the table, please."

Layup moves his chair 5 feet back, stuffs the jerky in his mouth - and then leans far forward (with the chair away from the table) to check the cards. He mumbles something unintelligently as he lays down his natural 9......

The next 30 minutes was a battle between Layup, the beef jerky, and the pit boss trying to catch Layup in the act of eating.

We all ended the day around 2am - but I was starving after the pork and the alcohol. Time to go get a 3/4 lb burger at the Carnegie deli. Nothing better at 2 in the morning! Shared a few bites with Layup in the room (see Jim Gaffigan - "oh, I'll only have a bite.......MFBDBFDSHGFUISGIUSDG") and tried to sleep with all that in the stomach.