NFL Week 17: Chang Bai Shan

Hello from Bai Shan, China! We are in a Holiday Inn room in a China Ski resort names Chang Bai Shan. It is in Northeast China – east of Beijing – about 10 miles from the North Korea border. I guess this will be the closest I will ever come to the forbidden kingdom!

The boys whine every winter about not seeing snow….the 55 degree, rainy winter in Guangzhou does not do it for them. So we decided to really take an adventure as the 5 of us headed north in a 5 hour plane ride to this ski resort.



No one here speaks English. We were left waiting in the airport to see a Holiday Inn bus near the terminal – until the terminal emptied out from our flight and no Holiday Bus was to be seen. A young lady urged us to go on one of the unmarked buses parked in the parking lot; we did, reluctantly, and we were taken to the resort. The resort is about 20 buildings with 8 or 9 hotels around a village. We saw a sign for the “Holiday Inn Suites” – and drove right past it… .Um, I think that was our stop.



Today was our first day on the slopes…I told Mom and Dad about this trip; my Mom said “Um, I didn’t know you skied….”, I don’t. The last skiing I did was in 1994 on the big slopes of Mansfield, OH. I haven’t even made it to Perfect North near Cincinnati yet! So we got a late start this morning, as I 1) don’t’ know the right skiing protocol of getting the electronic “pass” first, and (2) not knowing Mandarin. We did line up a private instructor for Freddie and Warren , and a separate one for Martin. Not sure what the cost will be just yet.



About 10 minutes into the lesson, I saw that Fredie and Warren didn’t have their skis on yet. I tried to tell Freddie to put the toe in first, and the instructor yelled at ME. “NO! I am teacher!” They were doing stretching. Ok, Ok, I will leave you guys alone.



An hour later all three of them appeared on the slopes; Freddie got off the “moving walkway” first , with the instructor near Warren; Freddie took a couple of strokes with the poles to get moving, and then started down the slope. He looked like he knew what he was doing……until he never slowed down. There was a crash landing at the bottom. “I accidentally went down the hill!” he explained to me later. Yeah, sure.



Warren got the hang of it near the end; there were a couple of falls along the way near the fence, like his dad 20 years ago – but did well on his last 2 runs. And Martin seemed to love it, although he was going extremely slow the whole way down with the instructor right in front of him, going backwards. No way in hell can I go backwards yet.



After lunch, we did some sledding where Martin went flying over his first “bump” down the hill, and here we are in the room, at 3:20 pm local time as the sun is setting. A pool run is coming up later, and then Freddie and I may go night skiing. We head back New Year’s Eve night, ladning 1 hour before 2014 comes to China.



I don’t understand the allure of skiing at all –too much prep time to get ready for such little payout on the slopes, where it is -15C and breezy – but maybe the bug will hit the kids. We shall see.



Not much to say about the Browns. I can’t believe this team is 4-11, and yet we have 5 Pro Bowlers. It was party time a year ago when Phil Dawson finally got recognized for excellence by going to the Pro Bowl. Maybe we are this year’s version of the 2012 Chiefs – loads of talent, but just needs a new QB…and that new QB will be coming for us next year.



On to the games:



Car 27, Atl 17. Still a lot of motivation for the Pantehs.



Bal 23, Cin 20. I do believe the Ravens will fight back after last week.



Ind 27, Jax 14. I’ve had it with picking the Jags!



Mia 24, NYJ 10. I watched almost all of that Browns-Jets game last week. The Jets aren’t that good. Our defense was horrid.



Min 31, Det 20. Count me among those that thinks the Lions have packed it in.



NYG 27, Was 16. The Skins are done after last week.



Ten 24, Hou 13. Talking about teams that are done…..



Chi 37, GB 23. I know Rodgers is back, but that Packers defense is horrible.



NE 31, Buf 20. I think NE has to win to keep the 2 seed, correct?



NO 27, TB 17. It would be nice to see the Bucs somehow win this to knock the Saints out…but it won’t happen.



Az 20, SF 13. See above.



Den 30, Oak 20. Is Pryor really the answer for the 2014 Raiders?



SD 20, KC 17. I can’t believe that Andy Reid will have a second straight bad outing before the playoffs.



Sea 27, StL 10. The Seahawks still need this, and will roll over the Rams who have nothing to play for.



Phi 31, Dal 28. How can this game NOT be a field goal?



Best bets: 17 of them. Last week: 12-6; overall: 119-113-6



Car -6

Bal +6 1/2

Mia -6

NYJ/Mia under 41 1/2

Min -2 1/2

NYG -3 1/2

Ten -7

Hou/Ten under 44

Chi +3

GB/Chi over 52

NE -7 1/2

Az +1 KC +9 1/2

KC/SD under 44 1/2

Sea -11 1/2

Dal +7

Supercontest selections: last week: 3-2; overall: 40-36-4

Bal +6

Min -3

GB +4 1/2

KC +9 1/2

Sea -10 1/2

NFL Week 16: Phu Quoc

Hello from Phu Quoc Island, Vietnam! We are live from an island resort for week 16; Janice's parents are in Asia, and we wanted to get away from the "cold" weather in Guangzhou and head to a beach for a few days. We came here on Friday and will return back on Christmas Eve.

By "cold", I mean a high of about 61 and a low of 43. The low of 43 - about 5 Celsius - threw all the natives into a panic in Guangzhou. It's freezing! It's so cold that Freddie even had to wear long pants to school!

Phu Quoc is an island at the southwest tip of Vietnam; it is separaated from the mainland and did not see any activity during the war. The northern tip of the island is about 2 miles from Cambodia - if that helps to place it any better.

This island is not yet fully developed - but there are grand plans to get there in 5-10 years. The main beach is beautiful - it faces west, so the sunsets are gorgeous - and there are only a few 4-star resorts on the island. The rest is filled with bungalows and small villas rented out by locals or foreigners who landed here. The government has plans, however; a new airport was built; a golf course is in the works (not yet open, however), and there are talks of a casino to be placed in the center of town. There are many Europeans here - it seems to be a big German and Russian destination, although there are a few Americans.

The trip started a bit rough in immigration is Saigon; we got off the plane - and the immigration lines were very long all over the place. We saw one line called "Sky Priority" - which is Delta's version of the red carpet preference for frequent flyers. Vietnam Airlines is a partner of Delta, so we went into that line.

We waited a while - the kids were acting up a bit, as we shooed them back in line. I looked back, and caught the eye of a Russian about 8-9 people behind me.

"You Sky Priority?"

Yes, I declared.

"This is Sky Priority. You Sky Priority?" He held up some sort of badge I could make out.

I pulled out my Platinum and Janice's Gold Card. See? See this? Eat it. I may not have said that, as I did not want to get into a fight against a 35 year old Russian in Saigon. I know it's hard to believe, but I didn't like my chances.

We go to the island the next morning and relaxed. The next day - yesterday - was for boating and snorkeling, which all of us like to do. Lunch was served on the boat- and the delicacy was Sea Urchins! This is a blakc prickly sphere that you slice open and eat the guts out. The guts are like peanut butter; you can put lemon sauce in there and mix it up, or wasabi, or barbeque with peanuts. It was....good? I guess. Not repulsive. Is that a good enough recommendation for you?

After the boat trip all day, we stopped to see the fish sauce factory. Apparently, all the "good" fish sauce served in Vietname\ comes from this factory - and it is a prized brand around the world. We were greeted by 56 barrels of fish and salt - the fish stay in there for up to 1 year, and are pressed regularly.After a year, time is up! The juice is extracted and bottled, and shipped. The ideal content is 42% salt.

And yes, of course, the factory smelled to high heaven of fish. Not pleasant at all.

Today was an easy day at the resort, except Freddie got sick, probably from something he ate last night. He and I were walking to breakfast, when he stopped, started wretching, and threw up 3 times in the gardens. Nice! He said he felt fine after that; we got him some water, and off we went to breakfast.

At breakfast, he said he wanted to try poached eggs. And I let him.......

Mistake #1.

After about 20 minutes at breakfast, he said he didn't feel well, and wanted to go back to the room. Sure - go ahead. No one went with him.

Mistake #2.

5 minutes later, I was the first one done, so I went to check up on him. As soon as I got in, he said "uh, Dad? Don't go in the bathroom.....". Great. I opened the door and....he didn't make it to the toilet.

But anyway, he is feeling better now, so we are going for pizza for dinner tonight. Mistake #3?

 Anyway - the island here is great, and in 5-10 years it will be modernized as the go-to beach destination in Vietnam. It's nice to be here when it is quiet before all the building comes.

We should have a gambling proposition - which will happen first? First casino in Phu Quoc or first playoff game for the Browns under Haslem? Both are works in progress....maybe Phu Quoc has the edge now.....

On to the games:

Buf 20, Mia 16.  Can't help but think Miami will have a hangover.

Car 27, NO 24. Feels like a 3 point game either way.

Cin 27, Min 13. Cinci, at home, needs to make a statement after last weeks' debacle in Pittsburgh.

Den 34, Hou 20. Hard to believe that Denver still hasn't sewed up the division just yet.

Jax 27, Ten 20. Jax moved the ball up and down the field last week - turnovers did them in.

KC 31, Ind 24. No one will show their defensive hand - they will wait until 14 days from now.

StL 23, TB 10. Did not like the effort that Tampa showed last week.

Dal 31, Was 20. I know, I know, I know, I know.....it's soooooo tempting to take the Cowboys again. I can't help myself.

Det 27, NYG 24. I guess the only other team that could compare to the Browns in terms of last second losses is the Lions.

Sea 23, Az 16. Love the way the Cardinals' D looks.

GB 27, Pit 24. I am hopelessly biased here. I hope Flynn tears apart the fraud of a cheating Steelers team.

SD 30, Oak 20. I have no idea how Oakland will play here.

NE 23, Bal 20. It still is possible that New England can miss the playoffs. I'm betting they show up here.

Chi 31, Phi 28. I like how the Bears continue to roll on offense.

SF 26, Atl 13. Who doesn't love Candlestick Park?

Best bets: 18 of them this week....need to make up some ground. Last week: 5-10-1; overall: 107-107-6.

Buf +2 1/2
Mia/Buf under 43
NO/Car over 44 1/2
Cin -8 1/2
Min/Cin under 47 1/2
Den -10
Jax +5
StL -3 1/2
TB/StL under 43
Dal -3
Ind/KC over 46 1/2
NYG +10
Az +10
Az/Sea under 49
Pit/GB over 44 1/2
NE +1 1/2
Chi +3
Atl/SF under 45

Supercontest picks: last week: 1-4, to take me out of any contention. Overall: 37-34-4
Cin -7
Jax +5 1/2
Dal -3
NE +2 1/2
Chi +3

Having problems with loading pictures....will edit later...

NFL Week 15: Taipei

Week 15 of the NFL Season brings up to Taipei - our first real weekend getaway when we got here to China. Taiwan always seemed like an exotic destination - I remember growing up in the early 80s when all of our electronics had the tag "Made in Taiwan"...Ooh! A technically advanced island! I wondered how different Taiwan would be from the mainland.



Some quick history on Taiwan, if you don't know; Taiwan was the place where the leaders of capitalist China fled to during the Civil War after WW II. Obviously, the communists won, and the leader of the losing side - Chiang Kai Shek - landed up in Taiwan. They set up shop there, calling themselves "The Republic of China" (the old name of China before Mao) - and that still is the official name of Taiwan. Some old people that have connections to that regime still believe that the Taiwanese government will rise up and "reclaim" mainland China - as it is al rightfully the Republic of China. Some maps in China still have Taiwan and China as one country, called "Republic of China". They even had a congress with representatives from all over mainland China until the 80s.

So it was a bit of a jolt to see the passport stamped as "Republic of China". No Visa required for us Americans! We landed in the afternoon and went to our hotel; that night was January 1 and we were going to visit Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world from 2004-2010. It had an observation deck, engineering exhibits, and all sorts of souvenirs to buy.

Before that tour, we went to the food court at the basement of Taipei 101; the family had Subway but no, I wanted to be cultured and got some soup and pork. Asian food for me!

The tour of Taipei 101 was good - the kids were enthralled and everyone got a T-shirt. We were able to see for miles on the observation deck on the 90th floor. We returned back to the hotel that night, where it was 55 degrees but Freddie and Warren insisted on going into the roof-top hot tub. That was fine, until the two of them wanted to go swimming in the (unheated) pool next to the hot tub. Uh, no.

The next thing I remember was being up at 2:30....and my stomach was not feeling so well.....I tried to close my eyes....uh oh....everyone knows the feeling. This isn't going to end well.

At 3:30 my stomach was empty, and I slept a little bit more.

Everybody awoke and got dressed for the hotel buffet...well, I wasn't ready for that. I laid in bed watching the God-awful 2011 Fiesta Bowl between UConn and Oklahoma (I guess I remember that because that was Randy Edsall's last game as UConn coach before coming to Maryland).  I met them down there an hour later and had an orange and some tea. I still wasn't feeling all that well.....

....so of course it's time to trek to a museum! The one historical place we went to was the Chiang Kai-Shek memorial palace. It was a large stone courtyard with a few buildings; the main building was an impressive temple-ish building with over 100 steps; in there was one large room and plenty of guards. That room is the final resting place of Chiang Kai Shek.

The lasting memory of this trip is Martin being fascinated with all the pigeons in the square - and he kept feeding them popcorn and trying to chase them. We prayed he would never catch one so as not to catch SARS of bird flu.

The afternoon was spent at the Taipei Science Center; a Burger King was inside - and , as everyone knows, the BK Original Chicken Sandwich is the best thing for an upset stomach. (This is no lie. I had plenty of these in college the day after throwing up from drinking; there's nothing better).  The Science Center was great - and the Human Anatomy exhibition was surprisingly blunt.

The night ended in the hot tub again; we left the next day in the morning back home to Guangzhou. In all, it didn't seem that much different than Hong Kong - except you didn't have the British influence. It seemed like a larger Chinese city that spoke more English. The only reason to return would be because that's where the closest Costco is to us. Old friends of ours (who have left GZ now) used to go once a year to Taipei - at least - just for the Costco.

Some good highlights, with nausea and disease-laden birds....sounds like a metaphor for the 2013 Browns! I think I suffered some nausea last week with the loss to the Pats......I watched that in Macau, so add that game to the list of the heartbreaking Browns losses I've seen there (2010 vs Jets, 2012 vs Cowboys).

I'm over it now - this was not as bad as the loss to the 2001 Bears, where we let up 14 points in 35 seconds (giving up an onside kick as well) and lost in overtime when Timmy threw a pick 6. That team was 4-2 with our new brilliant coach at the helm (Butch!)...and that loss hurt for 5 straight days. We finished 7-9 that year, missing out on the playoffs by 2 games, and that included the bottlegate game later......

I have a lot of thoughts on the game last week - the main thing I heard a lot was "well, the Pats got screwed by the refs against the Jets and Carolina, so this evens it out". I understand that thought process....I do.....but.....when will it even out for us? We have the evil Steelers go ahead and knock Campbell out with a blow to the head - no call - and then this. I feel like I'm on the bottom of a Bernie Madoff chain. Everyone else uses us to even out there calls.
Do we get cards for bad calls to be used in the future? "This entitles bearer to one free gift call in a future NFL game". If so, I'm sure we have a pile somewhere in storage in the stadium in a closet. Haslem, send a lackey out to look for it.

Oh well. Thank GOD we were 4-8 going into the pats game and not 6-6 or something.

On to the games.....

Atl 27, Was 24. Something tells me Kirk Cousins == Scott Mitchell.

Ind 30, Hou 13. Hasn't Houston given up on the season?

Jax 24, Buf 17. I don't understand this line. Have you watched the Jags play over the last 5 weeks?

Mia 27, NE 26. I expect the Pats to make a better showing this week; this pick is purely with my heart.

Phi 28, Min 20. The Vikes have not quit at all, and should give the Eagles a fight.

Sea 23, NYG 20. Giants pass offense should move the ball against the Seattle's depleted secondary.

SF 17, TB 10. Still not a believer in the Niners offense yet.

Car 20, NYJ 13. A defensive struggle.

KC 31, Oak 20. I know, too obvious, but I think the Chiefs offense is starting to re-assert itself.

NO 26, StL 13. Yes, the Saints aren't a good road team, but this is in a dome, against a team that can't move when facing a good defense.

Ten 19, Az 16. A good Ten pass rush vs Carson Palmer on the road.

Dal 30, GB 20. Dallas will have something to prove defensively...oh look, Matt Flynn....

Cin 27, Pit 23. How many weeks will I have to say that people are still overrating the Steelers?

Det 34, Bal 20. Detroit will come to play, and pass the ball all over Baltimore, and the Baltimore O will have no answer.

Best bets: 16 of them. Last week: 9-7; overall: 102-97-5

Ind -4 1/2
Jax +2 1/2
NYG +7
SF/TB under 41
NE/Mia over 45 1/2
NYJ +10
NYJ/Car under 41
KC -5
KC/Oak over 41
NO -6
NO/StL under 47 1/2
Ten +2 1/2
Az/Ten under 42 1/2
Dal -6 1/2
Cin/Pit over 43
Det -6

Supercontest: Last week: 4-1. Overall: 36-30-4
Ind -5 1/2
Jax +2 1/2
NO -6
Ten +2 1/2
Dal -7 1/2
 

NFL Week 14: Bali

Our attention this week turns to Bali, where we went last October (2012) with another family from Guangzhou – and Don and Mike and their wife flew in. This was a destination that caused some disagreements in the review afterward – was Bali really the tropical paradise that it is made out to be?

Let’s just start off by saying that the place where we stayed was unbeatable. We rented out a property that had 3 separate “houses” on it, with 4 master bedrooms and another kids’ sort of bedroom. The place had a pool, and was staffed with a cook and cleaners/housekeepers during the day, and security detail 24 hours. Oh, and it was 100 m from the beach, with an unobstructed view. Even 15 months later, the memory of that place still is stunning.

 

The week started with me watching NFL football at 5 am on the lounge chair by the pool (with the security guards absolutely perplexed as to what I was doing) as the waves could be heard lapping on the shore closeby. Pure relaxation for me.

(The vacation started a bit differently for Don, as he spent the majority of 4 hour flight from Hong Kong to Bali in the airplane bathroom. He got over the bug in 2 days and made a solid recovery).

We didn’t venture off the property until the 3rd day – when I took the boys and their friends to the water park. When heading off the property, you got the feeling that you left paradise and are now in a typical Asia country. Traffic was horrible across the island. People everywhere walking/biking on the streets. Roads that twisted and turned and made no sense. Every outing off the property took an hour, at least.

Midweek, we took a day long adventure to head to the volcano in the middle of the island and bicycle down. The bike tour itself was wonderful – great weather, multiple stops to see a Indonesian’s family’s home, a rice paddy and several processions on the local streets where we were traveling. (Apparently, it seems that there is a reason to have a festival on every day of the year, so this is a common occurance). My bike riding skills were put to the test ; I had a child seat in the back of the bike to carry Martin. He was a fine passenger until the last 2 hours;I started feeling this “thump” of a dramatic weight shift every so often. Martin was out cold – and he’s flopping around back there with the ride. It took a while to get used to the sudden random shift of weight going on back there!

The adventure itself took about 5-6 hours, which was the length of the round trip car ride to and from the volcano. Yes, I exaggerate, but not by much. It took a good 1;45 to get there and 1:30 to get back….The total distance was probably about 15 miles from the villa to the volcano…that’s the most frustrating part.
The week flew by with swimming in the ocean and pool, eating and drinking plentifully, competitive 6-person Hearts games (don’t mess with Michelle) , and massages. But it ended on a sour note - again involving leaving our little slice of heaven of a villa.

We sometimes had to walk to the ATM for cash for groceries; there are no sidewalks on the strees where we stayed; instead, there was a concrete drainage ditch on one (or both sides) of the street – and there is no protection from the street to the ditch. The ditch was a good 1 foot below street level, was about 2 feet wide and had “water” in it that was the color of Hershey’s syrup.

Well, on the last trip to the ATM, I crossed a driveway intersecting with the street; in trying to walk back on the street, I got distracted and missed the road, and my foot went into the sludge while scraping the concrete on the way down. So not only is my foot covered in goop, the concrete caused a nice open scratch in my foot/shin – that then went into the water. Gangrene, anyone?

I guess I don’t see why Bali is just “paradise” to many – if we consider the island. The island is not naturally beautiful, and it’s congested and a lot of stores with tourists crap stuff. But oh, the place we stayed. If people refer to that – an idyllic villa – as Bali paradise, well, yes, I can be on board with that.

No real neat segue to the Browns this week – maybe the beatdown this week will be a bit better than the concrete scraping above – but I do recall the last time we played the Pats, at home in 2010. This was a game where the back up QB, on the road, took a knee- as the losing team! Somehow the Mangini-led Browns beat the Pats by 21+ in a November game in Cleveland. I’m pretty sure that won’t be happening this week.

On to the games:

Bal 27, Min 21. Can the Ravens actually lose this game? The Vikes are playing well – but Baltimore will eke this one out at home.

Cin 23, Ind 20. I have a feeling this will go down to the wire with Luck having the ball.

Oak 20, NYJ 16. I’m done with the mess of a Jets team.

Phi 31, Det 24. Does anyone give the Philly D any credit at all???? It’s like Foles is playing defense too, with the media attention.

Mia 20, Pit 17. I think this Steelers team is way overrated – but you knew that.

TB 27, Buf 20. What a demoralizing loss for Buffalo last week. I think they will be playing with a hangover.

KC 27, Was 23. No idea here. I hate both these teams.

Atl 23, GB 20. Rodgers is still out; the Falcons are full of vets that still are going to play hard.

Den 31, Ten 21. Will the cold get into Peytons’ head? Not going to touch this.

Az 19, StL 16. I still like Jeff Fisher…I’m a sucker.

SD 27, NYG 13. I still don’t believe the Giants are any good……it was Jeff Triplette who gave that game away to the Gians last Sunday night.

SF 27, Sea 21. Let down game for the Seahawks and nothing to play for, and a desperate SF team that is playing better.

NO 31, Car 14. I’m riding the Saints at home until I fall off.

Chi 34, Dal 33. Neither team has a good defense; should be a shootout.

Best bets: 16 of them. Last week: 4-9; overall: 93-90-5

Ind +7
Oak +3
Phi -3

Mia +3 1/2

TB -2 1/2

Buf/TB over 42

Atl +3 1/2
KC/Was over 44
StL +5 1/2
StL/Az over 41 1/2

SD -3

NYG/SD under 48

SF -2 1/2

Sea/SF over 41

NO -3 1/2

Dal/Chi over 49

Supercontest: Last week: 2-3; overall: 32-29-4

Ind +6

Phi -2 1/2

Atl +3 1/2

SD -3

NO -3 1/2

NFL Week 13: Chiang Mai

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend to all - my stomach is resting comfortably after 3 Thanksgiving dinners; one on Thursday night held by the housing complex; one on Friday night here with a few friends, and then a bigger friend gathering on Sunday night at another complex (where we have been going for 4 years). I think it's time to eat salads all week to recover.

Week 13 brings us to the northern Thailand town of Chiang Mai, one of our few vacation destinations that did not involve a beach. (Well, that's not fair; we went there for 3 days for the 2012 Chinese New Year; for 6 days after this trip we went to a Thai island).

The town was a perfect "small town" getaway for some family town. The city has about 150,000 and reminds me of a college town in the US (think Iowa City). There is a central night market that was the activity of the city after dark....where my bargaining skills were no match for the professional vendors. The shops along the market were specializing in massages, both human and "fish". These fish massages was when you put your feet in a tank of water, and little fish come up and bite the dead skin off he bottom of your feet; it is supposed to feel good and revitalize the skin on your feet at the same time. Only one of us - Warren - liked it and wanted to do it again and again.

The next day - Monday, the day of the AFC/NFC championships in 2012- was when we split up; Janice and Martin went around town looking at temples; Freddie, Warren and I went out zip lining in the jungle. We drove 1 hour into the middle of nowhere to a large forest valley. (On that way, we found out that SF kept fumbling punts and handing over the game to the Giants. I woke up earlier that morning to Billy Cundiff having a 32 yard field goal attempt to tie the Pats.....so needless to say, the day started with me in a good mood....)

We zip lined for about an hour and a half with 8-10 complete strangers from all over Asia. It was a lot of fun having the boys to be old enough to do this - and they were freaking out at the beginning (which is healthy!) The day ended with lunch, and then some noises in the neighboring area - we went over and saw cockfighting practice. The boys were enthralled.

The next day was elephant day. A full day with the elephants where you fed them, got to know them - and then take them for an hour ride in the woods, followed by a bath. (for the elephants; our shower was later). It's something the kids will still remember - except for Martin, who hated it and screamed 1/2 way through that he wanted to get off. So that's my memory - carry Martin on my shoulders, walking next to the elephants and the workers, for 30 minutes through the mosquito infested woods.

Bath time - and Warren was able to coerce his elephant into spraying water out of his trunk onto Janice and Freddie. Good times! All the tourists took showers in the provided stalls, where I think I contacted athlete's foot that I still have not gotten rid of.

It was a great start to that year's Chinese New Year vacation, and the experiences in the jungle and with the elephants will last us a lifetime.

Well, our big elephant - Brandon Weeden - will be starting for us for the foreseeable future. This is good news, I guess: if he does well, that's good! We stay in the periphery of the playoff hunt. If he does bad - well, good; we can release him at 7:30 pm on Sunday night. We signed the trick-shot QB from the Dallas practice squad this week; I don't even remember his name, which means I will see him in the 3rd quarter.

The line here is Cleveland -7, which everyone thinks is waaaay too high; this usually means the Browns will win 35-10.

I also feel like an elephant here picking some of these games; I can't believe how many favorites I have. That's not a good sign; I feel like an African elephant waiting for the bookmakers to strike.

On to the games:

Car 23, TB 17. I'm still not impressed with Carolina's offense.

Ind 31, Ten 20. Tennessee let Oakland go up and down the field last week; they were luck to escape with a win. Indy has to show up one of these games....and this is to wrap up the division.

Min 27, Chi 24. Not real sure here. Yes, the Vikes will score, but can they stop the Bears' passing attack?

NYJ 23, Mia 10. Miami's offense can't score in the red zone; the Jets' D is good, and the Jets are a different team at home.

Phi 27, Az 17. The Cards have not played well on the road all year.

NE 24, Hou 17. I want to take the Pats soooo badly, but this game screams danger.

Buf 27, Atl 13. The Falcons' Super Bowl was last Thursday, and they lost; their motivation is mil for the rest of the year.

SF 20, StL 17. Jeff Fisher has the Niners' number, and their offense is starting to come around.

Den 34, KC 20. I don't see how the Chiefs will stop Denver.

SD 27, Cin 24. What will give here? The Bengals tendency to give games away on the road, or the way the Chargers give games away all the time this year?

Was 31, NYG 23. Again, the Giants have beaten no one, and this is the Skins' last stand.

Sea 30, NO 17. This is Seattle's Super Bowl; win this to lock up home field for the playoffs. They have to win this.

Best bets: 13 of them. Last week: 9-5; overall: 89-81-5
Ind -3 1/2
Ten/Ind over 45
NYJ -2
Mia/NYJ under 40
Phi -3 1/2
NE/Hou under 48
Buf -3 1/2
Atl/Buf under 48
StL +7 1/2
Den -6
Was -1
NYG/Was over 46
Sea -5

Supercontest picks: Last week: 3-1-1; overall: 30-26-4
Ind -4 1/2
NYJ -2
StL +8
Was +1
Sea -4 1/2