Show: Chopped
Network: Food Network
When: Weekday afternoons, and more importantly from 2am-3am most days
Main Character: Ted Allen
I will have to warn you - there will be several Food Network shows coming up in the next few weeks! If you can't eat for weeks on end, the next best thing you can do is watch people make food and eat!
I assume many of you have seen Chopped - the "Game Show"/"Survivor" of the Food Network. Four aspiring cooks go through 3 elimination rounds in order to crown a champion. Each round gives the cooks a basket of 4 mystery ingredients - the cooks must create a dish with those four ingredients in it. One cook is eliminated every round until we get to the winner, who receives $10,000.
Our host of the show is Ted Allen. He's a great host for the show; has a good camera presence, comfortable with the contestants and keeps the show moving. (And from past years, there are several hosts that can't do that).
Where did Ted Allen come from? He first appeared on our TV screens in 2003 on the Bravo show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". Remember that show? 5 homosexuals would help some poor straight guy on clothes, food, culture, style, etc. Ted was the food expert and - I have to say - was the least flamboyant. Yes, I watched several of these episodes. Why do you ask?Anyway, back to Chopped - the show premiered in 2009 and now has 40 "seasons" and is still going strong with new episodes. Martha Stewart is now a judge! Some personal observations of the show as it exists now:
- the ingredients in the box are starting to become more and more obscure. I haven't heard of many of these ingredients, and I'm no slouch in the kitchen. I know these are professional chefs, but do the viewers really know what violet mustard is? Galangal? Epazote?
- Why do they only have one ice cream machine in the kitchen when almost every episode I watch consists of the contestants fighting over the ice cream machine?
- I'd love to see Don's brother-in-law on this show sometime.
- The injuries! This show is like a NASCAR race. Yeah, the technical skills are cool and all, but I want to see BLOOD! Or at least crashes when two cooks run into each other running around in the kitchen.
- I'd love to be a judge sometime on this. "Your plate looks great - the ingredients are all meshed together, but you used blue cheese. I can't eat this. You are chopped!"
Back in February and March, when I was taking steroids when starting chemo - the steroids caused a lot of sleeplessness. I'd go to sleep around 10, wake up at 12, get back to sleep at 1 am, wake up at 2:30 am- and Chopped was ALWAYS on from 2-3! I would catch the end of this episode, see what's on at 3 in the morning (and we will talk about those programs), and go back to bed at 4. No wonder I was tired almost every day.
I always got a sense of evil satisfaction when one of these arrogant chefs forgot to put one of the mystery ingredients on their plate. "Oh no! He forgot to put the root beer potatoes on! They're still in the frying pan!" Tough luck for you, buddy....
….except I have seen a couple of episodes where another chef made such a mess of the plate that round and that chef got eliminated, not the one that forgot an ingredient. What an embarrassment! You lost to a chef that didn't even use all the ingredients!
And that brings us to the Browns. I would hazard a guess to say that the record of contestants that forgot an ingredient is probably about 3-50. Very rare, but it happens. How does that relate to America's team?
Since 1999, a team that is plus-5 or better in turnover margin is 143-4-1 in the NFL . (Don't quote me on that - I'm going by memory). Two of the four losses, and the tie (of course) are accounted by the Cleveland Browns.
Pittsburgh gave us that game last week. 6 turnovers. And we didn't win. It's like they were the chef that forgot the lamb shank on their appetizer plate- but we had grease and blood all over our plate, so Alex Guarnaschelli gave us the heave ho.
(I do remember one of those 2 losses - one was in 2000 when we had Spergon Wynn as QB; we played at home vs. the Titans in the snow; McNair fumbled at least 4 times and threw 3 picks; the score was 0-0 at half as we moved backward after every turnover. I think we lost 13-3 or something. )
Late breaking news: Just before writing this, I found out that Josh Gordon has been released. There's got to be a lot going on behind the scenes with this; an example is this week. He was in practice all week and then all of a sudden he has a "hamstring" injury on Friday and is listed OUT. WTF?
There is no doubt he will show up in Patriots camp by week 5.
On to the games:
Pit 27, KC 20. Ooooooh, you dissected a horrible Chargers defense on a neutral field - and still almost lost to them. Try playing a real defense first, Chiefs.
Was 30, Ind 28. Given the results from Thursday night, maybe the Colts aren't all that bad. And I don't think Washington showed an elite performance last week, given the competition.
Phi 27, TB 17. The Eagles have extra rest and extra days to prepare for the Bucs, who are so clearly one-dimensional on offense. And the Bucs are missing some D starters. I know this is a trap, but....
Mia 23, NYJ 16. Miami is a much more balanced offensive team than the Jets. I think they will be able to score, which then provides a first test for Darnold. Now we will see how good he is.
LAC 27, Buf 17. Can't predict a Chargers blowout here because of that God-awful defense and horrible Chargers coaching. Should see some points here.
Hou 23, Ten 17. Boy, I'm willing to give the Titans a pass after that weird Week 1 game, but losing Walker really hurts. And a dual QB system? Watson now has a week under his belt to shake off the rust.
Atl 24, Car 20. This will be fun to watch to learn about these two teams going forward. Can Atlanta score in the red zone? What does Carolina do without Greg Olsen?
Min 23, GB 17. Ah! Welcome to the world of DeShone Kizer, Pack fans! Turnovers in the red zone. Dumb decisions with the ball. Welcome to Cleveland, 2017....
LAR 31, Arz 16. It's true the Cardinals can't play worse than they did last week - but the Rams didn't have a good performance either, until the 4th quarter. I expect better offenses from both sides.
SF 27, Det 24. The 49ers let up a lot of yards/plays through the air against the Vikes - and the Lions have just as good passing attack. I think they will rally the troops here in a 4 pm shootout.
NE 23, Jax 20. Do I really need to preview this game? Will be interesting to see if the Pats can shut down Bortles and if Jax secondary can live up to the hype.
Den 27, Oak 17. Yes, I love me some Case Keenum - but I also love that Den D line / pass rush that can put pressure on Carr AND be able to shut down the run.
NYG 20, Dal 17. How can Dallas move the ball here? They will stuff the box to stop Elliott and force Dak to beat them - can he? With what weapons? And will Eli have his meltdown?
Chi 26, Sea 13. I don't believe in the "how will the Bears come back from that loss?" narrative. Sea has a broken O line and key players out in D. Giving the hook? I ain't skeered……
Best bets: 13 of them. Last week: 7-10-1. (6-4-1 straight bets, 1-6 over/unders. Ooof!)
Pit -5.5
KC/Pit under 53.5
Ind +6
Ind/Was over 48
Phi -3
Mia +2.5
LAC/Buf over 42.5
Hou -3
LAR -13
Det +6
Det/SF over 48.5
Den -6.5
NYG +3
Chi -3.5
Supercontest picks: Last week: 3-1-1
(please note; there was an error in last week's blog; the pick was Den -3, but I typed Sea -3 on the blog. The game ended as a push. )
Ind +6
Pit -4
Phi -3.5
NYG +3
Chi -3.5
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