T-shirts

Something random for a Saturday: T-shirts.

Most of the T-Shirts that native Chinese are wearing have words in English.As you can imagine, the English on the shirts are mangled...

...but even on those where the English is not mangled, the T-shirts makes no sense.

I should keep a running list of confusing/hilarious/odd shirts that I have seen; the three that I saw over the past week:

"World Wide Wet" (with drops of water coming from the words)

"My Green in Greener than your Life" (the T-shirt had a camoflauge design)

and:

"Who the F*** is Mick Jagger? (yes, the word was spelled correctly on the shirt)

I just wonder who makes these shirt designs. Fascinating.

US Open thoughts

Hi all....I know it's been a while since there's been a posting here - we've had computer problems (a week of the blue screen on startup), and life has been extremely busy.

But it is Open week! It's going to be weird to get home from work tomorrow, eat dinner, play with the kids, put them in bed.....and then go to the Slingbox and turn on ESPN to start watching the Open.

I'm truly excited for the tournament. It's wide open - and that's good. It should set up for a crowded finish, with 8-10 people within 2 shots of the lead. Everyone in the top 10 right now has flaws.....

(which means Ben Curtis will be your winner? Hey,he's got a good track record at Avenel.....)

Some quick takes on the tournament matchups on VIP: here's who I like (ok, here's who I love:)

Westwood -105 over Donald
Kaymer -115 over D Johnson
F Molinari -115 over Quiros
Glover -125 over Els
Poulter -105 over Snedeker
Vegas -115 over Fisher
Manassero -110 over Casey
Day +105 over Toms

8-way Parlay action!

Why?

Why have I heard "Auld Lang Syne" on the elevator twice in the past week? And why did I hear "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives at Starbucks on Saturday?

Why is there a small trash can in every public restroom stall? *

Why - since everyone here lives in an apartment building with elevators - does no one here have any common courtesy? Why are these sort of things commonplace:

- anytime the door opens, people think it is their turn to get on - or off- the elevator. It's a mass traffic jam at the ground floor when all the people are trying to get off when the doors open - and the people coming in don't wait and try to get on at the same instant.

- at least once per day I get on the elevator and go up; the elevator stops at a few floors and then some lady giggles; she pushes the button of a floor we already past. It never fails. People don't realize they past their floor. Why?

- at least one per week, I get to the elevator, and I see a person standing next to the elevators, apparently waiting......but the "up" or "down" button is not pushed. I push "up"; it comes, and the person gets in with me and we go up.
Um - do you think it magically knows you are there? You do have to push the button, you know....


And speaking of elevators,
Why is this KFC commercial constantly playing in our office elevator? Do people actually buy this?
(No, I have not tried it - yes, I want to. I will file a full report once I order it).
(thanks to Keith for the link to the commercial)


* - I actually know this answer....I just would like some of you to guess why.

Sports Blogging, part 2

Time for a bowling outing!

A few weeks ago, 5 families got together for a bowling outing at the local lanes - new lanes at the Asia Games sports center.

(Do you sense a theme here? A lot of the "infrastructure" improvements in the city were all sprruedon by the city hosting the Asia games last fall. That's why many veteran ex-pats here just shake their heads at all the changes they have seen in this city in the past 5 years. It really has become a modern city.)

It's a very modern facility a 32-lane center with (of course) automated scoring and bumpers, if needed. They had shoes my size (size 11!) and the lanes were extremely well lit. The flags of the participating countries were still hanging from the ceiling.

The ball racks were all labeled; you would see a "9" on a rack, and that means that's where the 9 lb balls go there. I thought that was ingenious. No more wasting 10 minutes at the beginning trying to find a proper ball.

However, the downside: there were racks and racks of 8, 10, 11, 12 lb balls; in the whole 32 lane facility, there were 6 15-lb balls and 3 16-lb balls. That's it. It's like the complete opposite of the US, where there is one 8 lb ball for the kids and 3,562 16 lb balls for Vito and his pals.

(The adults did get to bowl one game; my 138 was not that awful, considering it's been 18 months since I bowled and the presence of 2 Chinese kids crawling all over the ball return system while I bowled. It's not a jungle gym.....)

Sports blogging, part 1

So if I told you that the boys are in Little League here in China, what would you think? How do you picture a little league field? When I heard that ex-pats were trying to put together a Little League this spring, I thought we would be playing on a converted soccer field, on a lot of dirt/hardpan, with possibly some rebar/nails sticking out of the ground.

I couldn't be more wrong.

Here is a video of the field that the boys play at. The league has rented out the Asia Games baseball stadium every Saturday in the spring (for a fee of 500 RMB/$90 weekly).

I am standing in centerfield; you can see games going on in the left field corner and the right field corner. (Freddie's team is practicing in cetner field; and yes, I throw up a little when I have to wear a red jersey with the words "SOX" on it.)

The fields are immaculate. The grass is always cut, it is perfectly flat (no bad bounces), and we get the use of the locker room (and even the stands, to keep toddlers occupied).

The field is located in the heart of the city- the surroundings are spectacular. The large building right behind us in center field is the Citic building, the 15th largest building in the world. You can also see the Soccer stadium behind the right field line.

These kids have no idea how good they have it. It is 10,000% better than the field I grew up on - the field down the hill behind Sparks elementary that flooded every time we got 1/4" of rain, or the field for Freddie's 1st grade league that was hidden behind the Lakota school bus depot......

(as an aside, I never really knew how hard it is to "teach" baseball until now. Let's say you have a bunch of kids that know nothing about sports. Nothing. They are a blank slate. What's easiest to teach?

1. Soccer - kick the ball in the net, don't use your hands.
2. Basketball - put the ball in the hoop, try to dribble every once in a while, don't hold on defense.
3. Baseball. I don't think we Americans realize how many basic rules there are that has to be taught before even having a semi-competitive game. The rules on force plays alone confuse the non-American kids (and the adults). Why can I overrun first base but not 2nd? What happens on a fly ball that's caught?

Heading Back to Vegas

So in two weeks Carol and I will be heading out to Vegas for her birthday. Her friend, Lauren, will be watching Morgan leaving us 3 days to ourselves. This will be very interesting since my gambling habits have changed dramatically since the last time we gambled together. Let's see what has changed since my last trip:

1. Craps- I can't half ass it anymore. There is a saying in poker, if you get nervous making a bet, then you are playing beyond your means. Well a $25 table doesn't scare me anymore and a $12 wager is boring. There's good and bad things about that. One thing I liked about our trip in March was how easy it was to saddle up to one of those tables and cash in for the correct amount and not just a couple of hundred, hoping the table doesn't go cold. Back in March, craps really went well for me. I played the most I've ever played and did very well. When our group either broke even or was down, I seemed to be up. So I'm set on playing the come from now on. The only problem is can I control the hard ways.

2. UTH- Carol loves this game and when we both played it in Nov 2009, the swings were almost too much for me. Having to bankroll two hands at a $15 table, it can get ugly so quickly.

3. I will take Carol into the Lounge and we will see what her reaction will be. Once again, if she wants to play, then the budget is going to get crazy. Now Carol loves blackjack and I'm not too sure if I can stomach playing at a $10 table with all the riff raff anymore. I've become so pretentious haven't I?

4. Roulette- I only played for 15 minutes back in March waiting for Wiz to cash in his chips and I ended up walking away from the table because the dealer was a jackass. I love the tables at the Mirage and will hopefully be able to spend some time there this trip.

So I never posted anything about this last trip, which now I'm sad that I didn't. Too much work and too much baby time. I rate this trip very high in my book. Its up there with the time we first were introduced to Don and Mike. The UTH dealers were great, the dinners were very good, played golf on an amazing course, and almost came back as a winner. Below are some additional highlights:
1. I was all but done come Saturday. I was down to my last $500 and put all of it on games that day. My friend Brian came out from San Diego and we ended up going to the Mirage wine bar to watch some of the games. I had to pay for dinner that night so I had some funds for gambling. Then I went on an amazing run. Kicked ass at the Palazzo craps table, another great run at the Mirage craps table, and finally did very well at the UTH table. Ventured into the Lounge and did OK at the BJ table. Oh, and I went undefeated on my sports wagering. I was able to get back within $1000 of my original budget.
2. Got a text from Jay on Thursday morning asking how everything was going, and I responded that I "had to pump sea water into reactor one last night. reactor two is showing signs of overheating. Not a good start." That was my worst Wed/Thurs/Fri combo ever. It was horrific.
3. I know that its not fair, but I hold Eric to a different standard than others. When I found out that he bet the don't, I was devastated. When I saw him not being honest and take money from a dealer, I was appalled. And when he told me that he had a previous wager on FSU and he picked the other way in our parlay, I was shocked. SHOCKED!!!!! This is the crap I expect out of Wiz and Lee, not Eric. I'm writing my gamblers manifesto to give to Morgan and my nephews, and all three of these offenses will be in there on what not to do in a casino.
4. Speaking of the book, I have 6 chapters so far; Group Selection, Casino and Restaurant Selection, Room Behavior, Money Management, Gooching, and How to build positive Karma.

The news story that will never end

I suppose that many of us have things in the back of our brains that are there for unknown reasons. I seem to have vivid memories of certain events that occur around personal life-changing moments - for instance, I can tell you that OutKast's "Hey Ya!" was played 24 times on Sirius Channel 1 when we drove from Cincinnati to Iowa in January 2004 during our move.

One of these odd memories involved news reports in August, 1989, when my parents, Layup and I went to Cleveland as I started my freshamn year at Case. We stayed in a hotel for the first few days before I moved into the dorm; I distinctly remember reports of a "John Demjanjuk" taking over the lead story of the Channel 8 newscast.

(Ah, Wilma Smith....)

I still can't figure out why, but Demjanjuk was all over the news during that week. As most of you know, he lived in Cleveland then - in the neighborhood of Seven Hills, southeast of the city. It was fascinating to realize that an alleged Nazi war criminal was living literally down the street from the hotel you were staying at! *

Now, fast forward 22 years later to May, 2011....and he is still in the news. How is this still going on? Can't the wheels of international justice turn any faster? The latest update is that he has been convicted, but is released to a nursing home because of his health. Appeals are pending.

Can't we just end this chapter of history? I have no idea whether he is guiilty of war crimes or not - but you would hope that after 22 years (or even more!), a decision would be made on his guilt or innocence.

What is wrong with our system(s) to have the prosecution of Demjanjuk still going on? It's 2011......


* - for those of you familiar with Cleveland geography, you may wonder why our family would be staying at a hotel in Independence/Seven Hills when Case is in downtown Cleveland, 20 miles away. I think it has to do with "Marriott" points - some questions are best left unanswered.

Summer has started

A weather update: the weather has certainly turned over the past 3 weeks here, and now it is starting to feel like summer. Since the end of April, the temperatures have been in the mid to high 80s for a high with humidity always near 80%. And in most days, the sun is never our. If the sun pops out - that's when it feels really bad.

The worst part about it is the humidity. Once you start sweating, you can't stop - and there's nothing you can do about it. This is my t-shirt after a 20 minute jog on the treadmill. And no, this amount of sweat is not because I am out of shape. You just can't stop sweating because of the humidity.

As you probably would guess, this is certainly not the hottest it will be; the true summers in July and August will be the same humidity, but 10-15 degress warmer. Just great.

We've already had some mornings that felt like a unbearable muggy day in Cincinnati.

But it doesn't affect the natives, however. Our pool here opened up on May 1 - a cloudy day of about 82 degrees and 70-80% humidity (it would storm that night). We went down to the pool on opening day; and we were the only ones. A crowd of 4-5 workers came out at various times to watch the white family play in the "cold" (for them) pool. I seriously think they need it to be much warmer before they will take a dip in the outdoor pool.

Hong Kong trip report

So I am very late to post some random comments about our April trip to Hong Kong. Here is a picture from the Ocean Park amusement park/aquarium; the park is split into two sections, separated by a large hill. You have to take a sky cable car to go from one side to the other. The views are spectacular.

1. It is very disorienting and difficult to walk in the city. The sidewalks are fine; the problem is crossing the street. I have 39 years of experience in crossing street, so it is obviously second nature to look a certain way when crossing an intersection.

But, of course, in Hong Kong, drivers drive on the left hand side.

You really have to stop yourself and think - where are the cars coming from? For example - if you are on the southwest corner of an intersection and want to walk to the northwest corner, you automatically look to your left for oncoming cars. It's empty - you start walking - and a car comes zooming by you on your right, making a left hand turn in front of you. It's hard to override all your instincts.

2. We went to a beach one afternoon on the ocean. While we were there, a few Caucasian families with children were there. One of them starting playing ball with Freddie.

I asked him where he lived. As soon as I asked, I realized that was a dumb question - he could have said anything - a road, a city, a country. He responded by saying the name of some apartment complex near by.

The next automatic question to any Caucasian over here is "how long have you lived here?" I was about to ask the boy that, but then stopped. It is certainly possible - probable? - that this is not a temporary stop, but his permanent home. He could be a "citizen".... For whatever reason, that boggled my mind. For the past 9 months, any "white" person I see is automatically a foreigner and could live anywhere in the world...here I am in "China" and I see a white person - it does not even dawn on me that this person could be a native - and that his parents could have been living here for their whole life.

3. Hong Kong is full of culinary delights! We had dinner by the pool one night - I got a club sandwich with fries. Out came my order - the fries were perfectly done - with a side of Grey Poupon.

Now that's something I have missed. My mouth is still watering thinking about Grey Poupon and how great it went with those fries......

bin Laden notes

Thanks to Layup for alerting me last Monday of the breaking news that OBL was captured and killed. I really don't know when I would have found out about it if he did not text me at 11 in the morning. It's about damn time - congrats to the SEALs, all in the military, and Obama and his staff for making this happen.

Now, some whimiscal thoughts on the operation:

1. They had to have put a GPS tracker on the body bag, right? So someone has got to know the exact location of the body in the Indian (?) Ocean....
2. It's weird what your mind forms from words and reports. As the details started to filter in about how operation took place, the location that OBL was in was described as a "mansion", "fortress", "a house with impenetrable walls". I was detecting some huge structure, maybe a moat involved....
....and then you see the pictures of the compound. It was not at all what I pictured.
3. By now, everyone has seen the famous picture of Obama and his staff gathered around the TV that Sunday evening to watch the operation. My quick thoughts:

a. Obama - intense and focused, as you would expect (like his job depended on it??). However - I read a comment somewhere that I 100% agree with. Who gave him the lawn chair and made him sit in the corner? Why didn't he kick the general out of the command chair that was right next to him?
b. Hillary - I know that look. She's got the same look on her face that I do when the Browns are winning a close one in the 4th quarter. "Can they hang on? Can they do this? I know they are going to blow this. I can't watch."
c. Biden - Doesn't it just look like they had to pull him away from "Angry Birds" on his laptop to pay attention?
"Joe - the SEALs have now landed in the compound!"
"Fine, fine, fine..let me save the game......"
d. Who is the Roberto de Vincenzo look alike that is still wearing the coat and tie, without a button undone, during this high-stress situation? That's a person who clearly voted "no" on casual Fridays at the White House.

The Tribe!

OK, time to start blogging again. Life has been pretty crazy over the last few weeks - and the backlog of blog topics keep piling up.

How about the Tribe! With their good start, I saw this stat from ESPN. If this doesn't give you a nostaglic smile, then.....well, you must be a Red Sox fan....

With Tomlin at 4-0 and Justin Masterson at 5-0, the Indians have two pitchers with at least 4-0 records since Greg Swindell and Tom Candiotti did it in 1988.

Candiotti and Swindell....ah, the good old days.

(It is pretty amazing - every once in a while, I see a Chinese citizen wearing a Tribe hat. This photo was snapped in Beijing (he has this look on his face like "why are you taking my picture?)

This weekend, while walking to the store, I passed a woman in a tan and black striped dress......with a Chief Wahoo logo on it. I didn't get to my iPhone camera in time. They say China is now more technologically advanced than the US...maybe they know that the Tribe will be very popular in October and November this year.....

Posted without comment

Coming back from our trip to Beijing, we got a nice jolt back to Chinese culture and politics. We got a call that evening from the "boss" of our nannies...she said that the nanny will not be there in the morning; she is requiring surgery and will be out for a while.

Oh no, I said! I hope everything is ok!

She said she will be fine, and she will come back in 5 days.

OK.....wow. Surgery. Sounds serious. I hope nothing really awful happened.

The next day, her sister came and filled in for her shift. I asked if she is ok, is she hurt, is everything ok?

"No, everything fine. She be back on Monday."

What happened?

"Just operation to take baby away"

Ah....I see......

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all! It's hard to set up an Easter Egg hunt in an apartment complex, so we went downstairs to one of the common areas to hide eggs. In this pciture, there are 40 eggs.... boy, did I get some strange looks from the Chinese residents when I was hiding the eggs....

Just off the screen to the left, there is a door to the Children's playroom; I put two eggs right at the base of the door for Martin to find. Just as we started the Easter Egg Hunt, a cleaning lady arrive to clean that room.

After 10 seconds of the Easter Egg Hunt, the egg tally was:

Freddie 0
Warren 0
Martin 0
Cleaning Lady 2

The hunt was suspended for 30 seconds as I tried to convince the lady that the eggs were not trash and she needs to put them down.

Today we are having an Easter BBQ over another ex-pat's place; they were planning it last weekend at a dinner, and one of the quotes from the host was:

"What goes better with Easter than shots of Malibu?"

I think I will like this party tonight!

Beijing Zoo

Wehn someone goes to Beijing, there are two types of pcitures that the tourists are expected to share with their friends:

1. A picture of the Great wall; and
2. A picture of a Panda.

The Great Wall pictures turned out well; I don't think this pictures does justice to the elevation changes in the walkway. It truly is an amazing engineering feat.

(and to think that our tour guide said that "it is estimated that 1,000 people died for every mile of construction of the Great Wall". Now, the wall is 4000 miles long.......)




And our picture of the panda? Well, this is what greeted us at the Zoo on a Sunday morning.

"74" is now a true adult

Yesterday was the 21st anniversary of "74" day....

(here is the blog post defining the significance of that day)

It's hard to believe this was 21 years ago. I celebrated with cream soda and.....we had no rum, so I had to mix it with Southern Comfort. Cream Soda and Southern Comfort tastes surprisingly good together.

I wonder if the Poison Ivy scars have finally disappeared from Steve's hands from that round.......

Paparazzi

Now here is the China that we have been warned about.

So this is our first day in Beijing - it's been a long day, as we have visited Tianemen Square and the Forbidden Palace. After lunch, we went to the Summer Garden, a huge plot of land about 3 km south of the Square where the emporers prayed and relaxed.

(There was an "abstinence garden", where the Emporer was required to spend 7 days in before going to the temples. No comment necessary.)

So, around 3 pm, we stopped to take a break. Janice gave Martin a sucker and he sat down in one area of the garden.

Immediately, 4 middle aged Chinese women came over and started taking pictures. 4 turned into 5...then 6...then 8 women surrounding Martin.

The picture here best captures it. You can see Martin on the left with his lollipop (right under Freddie's head) - and on the right is all the Paparazzi that surrounded him.

It was interesting ....for the first 2 minutes. It never stopped. We had to shoo them away after about 10 minutes. Forcibly.

Why Layup would not make it in Hong Kong

It is a well known secret that the Zahn brothers love McDonald's breakfast....specifically, the Sausage McMuffin with egg. Oh, those good old days at the Monte Carlo when they were $1 each...we would down 3 each in the morning on the way to the sports book...

Well, here we are in the Hong Kong train station, and there is a McDonald's there. Time for lunch. Here are some of the choices for the Extra Value meal:

8. Double Cheeseburger meal
9. Quarter Pounder meal
10. Sausage McMuffin with Egg meal

That's right - you can get a Sausage McMuffin all day at McDonald's in Hong Kong. If Layup moved there, I would say his weight would be +50 pounds after 6 months. He would not be able to resist....

Snack for the boys

Continuing the food theme, here is the latest snack to arrive at our conveinence store downstairs.....

Beijing Cuisine

So the first night we were in Beijing, we found ourselves at the silk market at dinner time. We had to find something soon for the kids. We wanted something comfortable but yet a bit exotic....a place where you could be adventorous if you wanted, but if not - there were plenty of familiar choices to choose from.

Something like...a Sizzler.

What's that in the distance?

(No, we did not go there. But all of you probably expected me to eat there, right? )

The next day we were between tourist locales at lunchtime, and our tour guide recommended a buffet. It had some Chinese dishes, but it had Pizza and hot dogs too. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't very good.



And the translation for the names of the dishes were not very good. I did not try the upper dish in this picture. I don't know who made this translation, but they need some help.

(and the translation on the bottom dish isn't very descriptive, either)

NCAA Picks - post mortem

Here are my official picks for single games from my notebook for each day. Recorded just for historical reference.

Thursday's games:
"A" games:
Old Dominion -2 Butler (L)
Temple -2.5 Penn St (L)
Pitt -17 NC-Asheville (W)
SD St/N Col over 129.5 (L)
UC Santa Barbara +12.5 (L)
Wofford +8 BYU (W)
Mich St -1.5 UCLA (L)
Cincinnati pick em Mizzou (W)
Utah St +2 Kansas St (L)
"B" games:
Morehead +10 Louisville (W)
Richmond +2.5 Vandy (W)
Richmond/Vandy under 135.5 (W)
Gonzaga +1 St John's (W)
Bucknell/UConn under 132.5 (L)
"C" games:
Clemson +1.5 West Va (L)
Pitt/NC-A under 135.5 (W)

Fri Mar 18:
"A" games:
Michigan +1.5 Tennessee (W)
George Mason +1 Villanova (W)
Arizona -5.5 Memphis (L)
Marquette/Xavier over 140 (L)
UNLV -2 Illinois (LLLLLLLLLLLL)
Georgia +5 Washington (W, thanks, Wiz!)
"B" games:
Oakland +10 Texas (W)
Michigan/Tenn over 127.5 (L; I still don't beleive this did not win)
Kansas -23 Boston (L)
Purdue -14.5 St Peter's (W)
Marquette +1 Xavier (W)
Ill/UNLV under 132.5 (L)
Ind St +12 Syracuse (L)
Fla St/Tx A&M under 122.5 (W)
Georgetown/VCU under 133.5 (W)

Sat Mar 19
"A" games:
Temple +6 San Diego St (L, in 2 OT!!)
Florida -6 UCLA (W)
Richmond -4.5 Morehead St (W)
BYU -1 Gonzaga (W)
Wisconsin -3 Kansas St (W)
"B" games:
Richmond/Morehead St under 126.5 (W)
Florida/UCLA over 133.5 (W)
Pitt/Butler under 126.5 (L)

Sun Mar 20
"A" games:
Duke -12 Michigan (L)
NC -4.5 Washington (L)
Ohio St -11.5 George Mason (W)
Marq/Syracuse over 140.5 (L)
Arizona +6 Texas (W)
Az/Texas over 139 (T)
"B" games:
Syracuse -5 Marquette (L)
Fla St/Notre Dame under 133 (W)
Illinois +8.5 (L)

25-22-1, if I counted correctly.