Jul 10, 2016

Hi! Welcome to Vegas 2016!

Hi! How are you guys doing? Hop in the taxi. Where can I take you? Royal Links? Sure, I know where that is.

Where are you guys from? Ohio, huh? I'm from the Midwest. Chicago. Well, actually, I was  born there. Been out here now for 22 years. Taxi driver for all of them. Love my job! It's so interesting, and I get to meet a wide variety of people.

Do you want to hear some stories? Great! People ask me what was one of the weirdest rides I had. Hoo boy! That's a tough one! So many good ones. There was this one time when I was at - oh, where was it? The Riviera? Sands? Anyway, a older gentleman got in the car - real nice guy, turns out he was an executive for a company you have heard of. You know tires? Yeah! This guy was the chairman of Dunlop Tires! He was eccentric. Talked a lot - we had a great time! - and during the trip, he asked to pull into a liquor store. Now, here's a 60 year old guy! What does he want in a liquor store?

Then he asked ME what I like! Well heck, I wasn't going to ask for just beer...I told him I like to imbibe in a little vodka now and then....well, he goes into the store and comes out with two plastic bags full of bottles.

He gives a whole bag to me! And there were good bottles in there- like Smirnoff! I said to him, "well, what is this for?" He enjoyed my company so much, he wanted to share this with me !
Well, golly, I had to call my wife right then!. "Honey, you won't believe this, but we are going drinking tonight! No, we aren't going out! That's the craziest thing! We're drinking in!" The executive got on the phone and talked to my wife as well - that was one crazy ride. I think he died 5 years ago or something.

Celebrities? You're asking about what famous celebrities I got to drive? Well, I'll tell you - this was in the 90s, One of the big heartthrobs from that day - Tom Selleck!  Oh my, he is my wife's favorite television star. Well, guess what! I was at the MGM one day, and guess who walks into my cab. Mr. Tom Selleck! I was cool, "hello, Mr. Selleck", but halfway through the route I had to ask him a favor.

"Mr. Selleck - can you call my wife and say hi? She loves you and this will make her week!"

And guess what? He did! He got on the phone - "Hi - is this Laura?" Laura didnt know what the heck was going on - but when Tom introdcued himself - hoo boy! Even I could hear the shrieks! Tom was on the phone with her for about 2 minutes - what a great sport! He hung up and he said to me - "I think I'll send you the bill for the hearing aid - your wife's cream may have caused me to lose hearing!" Ha ha, what a kidder, that Tom! He left and left a nice tip.

Oh! You may be wondering if there are celebrities that don't tip well. Glad you asked! I made a run this one time - I think from Mandalay - and had to pick up that guy from The Best Damn Sports Show. Have you  seen it? It was on Fox for a while ...oh yeah! John Salley! This big black guy, 6'9", gets into my cab, and introduced himself. Nice guy ! He just wanted a ride to the Caesars. We made a little small talk....we got there rather quickly, The bill was $8 - and he gives me a $10. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? I had to say something. "Hey Mr. Salley....we make our living on tips, you know!" He smiled and said keep the change. He's John Salley! I expected something more than a $2 tip!

One more story - oh, I should have brought this up earlier. I usually work the day shift - get in at 6, leave at 2 - what a great time of day to drive the cab. Not a lot of crazies then! But some mornings, you get some people coming in from the night before, you know what I mean? I start one day off at 6 in the  morning - bright sunshine - and then these 3 girls get in the cab. They can't be more than 25 years old!

Well, they may have had too much to drink, I tihnk - and then they start getting chummy with me. Do you like the way we look, stuff like that. I had to tell them I'm married!

But then all of a sudden one of them asks me if she should get a boob job. A boob job! Now, my eyes are on the road, so I can't - you know - study the assets! Ha! But then she - right there in the cab! - opens her shirt and shows me her breast. "Do you think I need a boob job?"

Now, I'm so embarassed I can't speak! I tell her I don't think so - it looks good to me! We all have a good laugh at that one. They tipped nicely, and boy, did I have a good story to tell the wife when I got home that day!

Well, here we are at Royal Links. You two have fun golfing! I hope to have you in my cab sometime soon on this trip!



And that, my friends, is how the Vegas 2016 trip got started for Don and myself.  I knew we were in for a peculiar trip after that opening cab ride.....

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