I'm coming to you live from the Bangkok airport lounge, on my way to India. This is my first visit to India, where I hear the food is good..........
(and that's about it).
I still don't feel too comfortable posting here from work more than once a week, so postings will be sparse until we can get the external VPN set up in China.
Some quick updates:
1. I had some nice pictures to share on the topics below - but then Martin (our 2 year old) went and deleted about 20 pictures from my iPhone. He's too nimble with my phone. He sent a mail to Freddie's baseball coach in Cincinnati saying "I scored 459 on Doodle jump! Can you beat that???"
2. Should I be offended, part 1 (of many?): So the beauty of going to an international school is that the classmates are all......international! Freddie was invited to a birthday party for a classmate, who is French.
The invitation came. It had Uncle Sam on it. It said, and I quote:
"I WANT YOU......FOR MY ANNIVERSAIRE"
Um, is that legal? Can you use an icon of the USA and put a French word on it? Should I go to the consulate to complain?
3. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were holidays* here in China. On Wednesday, we took the boys to the 7 story shopping mall, which was complete with a mini amusement park and arcade. Freddie met up with a friend - so Warren and I went off together. He loves those silly carnival games where you put the token in and try to win tickets. Of course, those tickets are worthless.....80 of them will buy you one of those Chinese finger-jammer things.
Anyway, so he plays this one game where you drop the token, it lands on its side and rolls toward the edge of a rotating circle - and if the token knocks over the bar, you win! The larger the bar, the smalelr the prize, of course.
He dropped it - it rolled - and knocked over a bar about the size of a toothpick.
JACKPOT!
350 tickets came spilling out of the machine. One CHinese lady came over and wanted to take a picture of Warren. He said ok.
I expect - somewhere - that picture to be framed somewhere as part of a "Winners play here!" advertisemnt that every casino has...
"Warren Z., of Guangzhou! - 350 ticket jackpot winner!"
*4. Well, we can debate if Wed-Fri were truly holidays. The offices were closed - but, to make up for it, the office was open the Sunday before and the Sat/Sun after the holiday. You don't just get a free day off, you know! We will plead ignorance if someone asks why we weren't in the office on Sat or Sunday.
5. I locked out my ATM card in July when I was trying to set up online banking at HSBC, which is centered in Hong Kong. How do I get a new PIN? Well, I have to mail a form in! To Hong Kong!
I sent the form in on Aug 20. As of Sept 17, there has been no reply yet. So I called HSBC.
"Yes, we sent the new ATM PIN on Sept 2."
To what address?
"To the address you wrote - in China."
I put down my office address. I would hate to have it sent to the US,and then somehow get lost....
Anyway, I told them I haven't received it yet.
"Oh, you should shortly."
But you sent it on Sept 2!
"Yes, that's right".
How long does it take to mail something?
"You should expect it to take 10-15 business days."
OK - This is a mail sent from Hong Kong. It is literally 100 miles away from my office. Given the holidays, I should expect my ATM mail to be received.....next week sometime. That's about 25 calendar days.
Is this what the Pony Express was like back in the day?
Sep 26, 2010
Sep 15, 2010
The little things...
It's the little things that cause a lot more frustration than they should....for example:
1. Light switches. Apparently, the thought process of building contractors in the US and China are completely different.
In the US - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. The switch is right there on the wall.....blink! on.
In China - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. There are no swithces in the bathroom. The switches are located on the wall outside the bathroom.
This is consistent in every room. Apparently, you are expected to think ahead. I'm going into the bedroom. Do I need light? Well, decide now because the switches are outside the room, not in the room. There's a bank of 12 switches right by the front door. Decide NOW on what light you want to turn on - becuase if you don't, you'll be walking right back to this bank of switches to turn the light you want on.
By the way, the over/under on the number of switches I try until I find the one I want is still 6 1/2.
2. Drains: there are no traps in the common drains in China. So - any odors in the pipes come right back up and fill your bathroom. (Not to mention this is a source for roaches to come up into your house too). So they have these drain covers in place on top of the shower drains. You are also supposed to keep your sink plugs closed when not using.
These shower drains look like they drain, however. They've got holes in them! So I step into the shower for the first time, sing a couple of stanzas of Rod Stewart....and then I find the shower is flooded and water is draining....out through the shower door.
Apparently, we need to remove these covers before we shower, and then replace them when done. Chalk that up to a "teachable moment".
3. Sickness update: I still have a cough (day 13?), but it is much better. Janice and Martin, however, are not doing so well. We took Martin in to the doctor. She prescribed an inhalant. "Yes, put this mask/pipe over Martin's face, and then spray the inhalant when he breaths. Tell him to take deep breaths."
Did I mention he's 2? Yeah, that's impossible. It takes both Janice and I to hold him down and give him the medicine. It's not pretty.
4. The Mid-Autumn festival is coming! There is a sign on the conveinence store downstrairs, advertising gifts you can buy for the festival! Some options:
- a bottle of wine
- a box of moon cakes (which is a dessert speciality - not at all like Moon Pies in the US)
- flowers
- a can of SPAM
Hmmmmmmm...which one does not belong? I need to get a picture of this advertisement.
5. Yes, I watched the Browns live on Sunday (Monday?). Yes I knew the game was lost when Jake threw that interception late in the 1st half.
The only consoling factor is that I went 9-3-1, winning these games: Mia, Mia under, Pit, Det, Cin over, Ten over, NYG, Arz, and Bal. I lost Cin, Phi, Phi over, and tied the Sea under. Who didn't see a Jets meltdown coming?
Still having issues with moving into our apartment.....let's just say that if we order pizza and want mushrooms on it, we don't order the mushrooms but instead go into one of the bedrooms and pick it off the carpet.
1. Light switches. Apparently, the thought process of building contractors in the US and China are completely different.
In the US - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. The switch is right there on the wall.....blink! on.
In China - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. There are no swithces in the bathroom. The switches are located on the wall outside the bathroom.
This is consistent in every room. Apparently, you are expected to think ahead. I'm going into the bedroom. Do I need light? Well, decide now because the switches are outside the room, not in the room. There's a bank of 12 switches right by the front door. Decide NOW on what light you want to turn on - becuase if you don't, you'll be walking right back to this bank of switches to turn the light you want on.
By the way, the over/under on the number of switches I try until I find the one I want is still 6 1/2.
2. Drains: there are no traps in the common drains in China. So - any odors in the pipes come right back up and fill your bathroom. (Not to mention this is a source for roaches to come up into your house too). So they have these drain covers in place on top of the shower drains. You are also supposed to keep your sink plugs closed when not using.
These shower drains look like they drain, however. They've got holes in them! So I step into the shower for the first time, sing a couple of stanzas of Rod Stewart....and then I find the shower is flooded and water is draining....out through the shower door.
Apparently, we need to remove these covers before we shower, and then replace them when done. Chalk that up to a "teachable moment".
3. Sickness update: I still have a cough (day 13?), but it is much better. Janice and Martin, however, are not doing so well. We took Martin in to the doctor. She prescribed an inhalant. "Yes, put this mask/pipe over Martin's face, and then spray the inhalant when he breaths. Tell him to take deep breaths."
Did I mention he's 2? Yeah, that's impossible. It takes both Janice and I to hold him down and give him the medicine. It's not pretty.
4. The Mid-Autumn festival is coming! There is a sign on the conveinence store downstrairs, advertising gifts you can buy for the festival! Some options:
- a bottle of wine
- a box of moon cakes (which is a dessert speciality - not at all like Moon Pies in the US)
- flowers
- a can of SPAM
Hmmmmmmm...which one does not belong? I need to get a picture of this advertisement.
5. Yes, I watched the Browns live on Sunday (Monday?). Yes I knew the game was lost when Jake threw that interception late in the 1st half.
The only consoling factor is that I went 9-3-1, winning these games: Mia, Mia under, Pit, Det, Cin over, Ten over, NYG, Arz, and Bal. I lost Cin, Phi, Phi over, and tied the Sea under. Who didn't see a Jets meltdown coming?
Still having issues with moving into our apartment.....let's just say that if we order pizza and want mushrooms on it, we don't order the mushrooms but instead go into one of the bedrooms and pick it off the carpet.
Sep 8, 2010
The Browns
Yes, I am still excited for the NFL season to start. I was able to participate in 2 fantasy football drafts, I'm in a pick-em pool and now 2 suicide pools. And I will have two full weekend days to think about the games - unlike you suckers in America that have - at most - 1 1/2 days (and for Layup, it's just 1).
I will try not to be polly-annaish about the Browns, but here's my prediction for the season, based on teh schedule:
Games vs AFC North (6): 2-4. I do think we can win 2 in the division this year. I think we beat Pittsbrugh once (at home, probably), and then win one game against Baltimore or Cincinnati. I'm pretty sure one of those teams is overrated - they can't both go 11-5, can they? I'm leaning toward the Bengals being overrated and us winning vs. Cincinnati at home. So I think 2 wins in the division is doable.
Games vs NFC South (4): 2-2. Well, we're not beating the Saints in New Orleans. I think we should win 2 out of 3 against Tampa on the road and Carolina and Atlanta at home. I'm not that impressed with the Falcons. The opener - if we win - will go a long way to get us to 2-2 vs the NFC South. It's still doable if we lose week 1.
Games vs AFC East (4): 2-2. If we can win at Buffalo last year with the worst quarterbacking the NFL has seen in 40 years, with the Browns completing 2 passes all game and Mr. Anderson having a 0.0 rating for the second half....then we can win at Buffalo again this year.
And for those of you that don't remember the game I'm talking about, click here. This was a game for the ages.
Can we get another one among the Pats at home, Jets at home, and Dolphins on the road? I think so. Either the Pats or the Jets are overrated. Right now, my money's on the Jets being overrated and being 7-9 this year or so. But the Pats may be in decline as well. I think the game at Miami will be the toughest.
Bonus games (2): 1-1. The 2 other games are home vs. KC and at Jacksonville. Week 2 - the home opener vs. KC - is the key. We have to win that one.
Total: 7-9. I think this is a fair estimate. And if somehow we can get a 3rd win vs. the NFC South, a win at Jacksonville, and a 3rd division win - that gets us to 10-6. Hey, I can dream....
I will try not to be polly-annaish about the Browns, but here's my prediction for the season, based on teh schedule:
Games vs AFC North (6): 2-4. I do think we can win 2 in the division this year. I think we beat Pittsbrugh once (at home, probably), and then win one game against Baltimore or Cincinnati. I'm pretty sure one of those teams is overrated - they can't both go 11-5, can they? I'm leaning toward the Bengals being overrated and us winning vs. Cincinnati at home. So I think 2 wins in the division is doable.
Games vs NFC South (4): 2-2. Well, we're not beating the Saints in New Orleans. I think we should win 2 out of 3 against Tampa on the road and Carolina and Atlanta at home. I'm not that impressed with the Falcons. The opener - if we win - will go a long way to get us to 2-2 vs the NFC South. It's still doable if we lose week 1.
Games vs AFC East (4): 2-2. If we can win at Buffalo last year with the worst quarterbacking the NFL has seen in 40 years, with the Browns completing 2 passes all game and Mr. Anderson having a 0.0 rating for the second half....then we can win at Buffalo again this year.
And for those of you that don't remember the game I'm talking about, click here. This was a game for the ages.
Can we get another one among the Pats at home, Jets at home, and Dolphins on the road? I think so. Either the Pats or the Jets are overrated. Right now, my money's on the Jets being overrated and being 7-9 this year or so. But the Pats may be in decline as well. I think the game at Miami will be the toughest.
Bonus games (2): 1-1. The 2 other games are home vs. KC and at Jacksonville. Week 2 - the home opener vs. KC - is the key. We have to win that one.
Total: 7-9. I think this is a fair estimate. And if somehow we can get a 3rd win vs. the NFC South, a win at Jacksonville, and a 3rd division win - that gets us to 10-6. Hey, I can dream....
Update
Hi everyone. Sorry for the delay in updates. Let's see if I can catch people up on the news from here:
1. Some of you may know this, but I was struck by a nasty stomach "bacterial infection" about 2 weeks ago. (Actually, it started 2 weeks ago today). It started with a fever, then the chills - and then 24 hours of non-stop vomiting. I could not even keep water down. It took me about 6 days to regain any sort of appetite whatsoever.
It sucks since I was bedridden for 4-5 days and I missed Warren's party at the Ritz Carlton. However, on the bright side - when you don't eat for 6 days, you lose weight! I am down at least 5 kgs so far since I moved here. 5 more of these infections and I will be down to my "recommended" weight!
2. I was able to watch the Barclay's live while I was sick - at 5 am China time on Monday Aug 30. It was on NHK - the Japanese station. They were enamored with Ryuji Imada - I wonder why.
And if you ever wondered how to spell Tiger's name in Japanese -well, this is a screen capture of Tiger's scorecard from NHK's coverage.
3. Yesterday I had Chicken Mushroom soup for lunch - from Pizza Hut. We'll see how smart that decision is.
4. Today I went to lunch at a "hot plate" restaurant, where the meat/rice comes out on a sizzling plate. There are signs that say "Hurry and mix to avoid overcooking!". Um, overcooking is one thing I don't want to avoid right now.
The meal came as a combo, with a drink and a small soft serve ice cream cup! I got the vanilla ice cream with the chocolate topping.....
....or so I thought. It didn't taste like chocolate.
Another sign in the restaurant advertised the soft serve ice cream - with three flavorful toppings!!!! They are:
- Marrow (a brownish color)
- Green Tea (green)
- Black Sesame (black).
I got the Black Sesame, obviously. I'm glad that was the default choice.
5. We got kicked out of our temporary apartment and placed into another temp apartment, since our real place is goign to be ready this weekend. The new temp apartment is at the Ritz. Let's just say that if you are homeless and still not settled, the Ritz is a pretty damn good place to be at.
6. We are listening to "Kids Bop 18" on the way to school - and that's really the only American music I get to listen to. So now I have the whole Kids Bop album memorized in my head.
7. Homework in China for the kids >>> Homework in the US for the kids.
Aug 24, 2010
Random Notes & Observations
1. I may have ranted to many of you in the past about this....I am a big $1 coin guy. I hate the wad of dollar bills stuffed in my wallet - and for what? $1 doesn't get much anymore. My solution is to get rid of the $1, bring back the $2, and let Susan B. Anthony be famous again by putting her on a new $1 coin.
Well folks, this is my personal hell here in China.
Coin are very rare. You go into a shop to buy something that costs 6.80 yuan; you give them a 10 yuan bill - and you get 3.20 in change.
That's 3 1-yuan bills, and 2 0.1-yuan bills.
Now - if you take into account the exchange rate;
that's 3 bills worth 16 cents each, and
2 bills worth just under 2 cents each.
My wallet is thinker than the opening day in Vegas. And it's all full of small bills that total $1.47.
I've been giving the boys the 0.1-yuan bills (called "jiao") as payment for silly things like changing the channel on the TV.
2. There is no such thing as a bakery here that will bake cookies for a birthday. As a substitution, I am bringing in strwaberry and mango donuts for Warren's class in honor of his birthday (which was yesterday (but still today for some of you readers)).
3. Warren is having a party this Saturday....at the Ritz-Carlton. Every kid should have a birthday party at the Ritz, no?
4. Reason #46 why I will weigh 300 pounds after this assignment: We visited our new apartment this past Saturday. Hopefully, we can move in for good during this coming weekend. In the complex, there is a conveinience store that has many Western comfort foods, like cereal, tomato sauce, and American (and European) pop.
PS - I love the grapefruit Schweppes soda. I am not joking.
Anyway, the boys and I got ice cream there after the visit (when Janice was picking out drapery patterns for 90 minutes). I opened the ice cream freezer and saw....
oh my....Viennetta.
Viennetta has a special place in my heart (and Steve's heart, too). I'll have to share this story later, but it involved Beavis & Butthead, cards, suggestive advertising and many people at Finast thinking we were homosexuals.
But now that I know that our new place has Vienetta on a stick, I'll be gaining 20 pounds pronto.
5. Cultural references: A lot of reruns are shown here. For instance, I watched the 4th round of the AT&T National this weekend! You may not know this, but Justin Rose won! It only happened 6 weeks ago - and it was telecast on TV last weekend!
Well, apparently, China gets shows 5-10 years after they are popular in the US.
Janice had an off-site work conference for two days. She was wearing a name tag when someone in her department (but does not work for her) came up to her.
"Hi! How do you prononunce your name?"
Uh....Janice. Jan-is.
"Oh, like friends".
Janice first thought he said "French", so she asked what he meant.
"You know, Janice - like friends".
No, she said. What do you mean?
"You know, Friends. Chandler's girlfriend - Janice? The same name?"
So she is slightly mortified that people now associate her name with that character on Friends with the annoying laugh.
Aug 18, 2010
Seinfeld
Just a couple of quick notes...
- It seems like everything and anything gets done here through friends - very much how Kramer survives in Seinfeld. I asked my driver to figure out how to unlock my iPhone in order to get it to work over here.
"No Problem. I will do it today while you are at work".
Do you need me to go to a store with you?
"No. I have a friend who does it."
I expected him to say that his name was Bob Sacamano.
But it got unlocked easily (although the warrenty is now voided. Big whoop.). Now, how do I get a SIM card and a China number?
"No problem. You come with me and you can buy that from my friend."
Really? So off we go - into a Guangzhou neighborhood. We stop at a random building and enter a McDonald's. We go up a flight of stairs (most fast food restaurants are multiple floors), and then exit the McDonald's go up another flight.
THere we enter a electronics market, where it's clear I am the oldest there by more than 10 years.
We go to the apple desk. I am presented with a printout of all the China mobile #'s that are available.
"Go ahead - pick what number you want".
OK....hmm...how about this one?
"Fine!"
10 seconds later.... "oh, sorry, that's taken. Pick another?"
OK....how about this one?
"Great!........oh, sorry, that's taken...try this list!"
I am handed another piece of paper.
This one?
"Let's see....... no"
I said in my best Kramer accent: "Why don't you just tell me the number you want me to have?
So - 65 yuan later (about $9), I have unlocked my phone and have a working SIMcard that can now accept calls. No signatures, no documentation. It's nice. Much, much better than the crap we put up with in the US.
By the way - on the trip, I saw my first NFL jersey in Guangzhou. It was a caucasian (he was across the street; don't know if he was American or European)...
.... and he was wearing a Terrell Owens #81 jersey for Buffalo.
(Yesterday, on the street, I saw a 50-something Chinese man wearing a Sacramento Kings shirt with the logo from the late 90s. I am expecting to see a Montreal Expo jersey any day now - or possibly an Akili Smith jersey)
- It seems like everything and anything gets done here through friends - very much how Kramer survives in Seinfeld. I asked my driver to figure out how to unlock my iPhone in order to get it to work over here.
"No Problem. I will do it today while you are at work".
Do you need me to go to a store with you?
"No. I have a friend who does it."
I expected him to say that his name was Bob Sacamano.
But it got unlocked easily (although the warrenty is now voided. Big whoop.). Now, how do I get a SIM card and a China number?
"No problem. You come with me and you can buy that from my friend."
Really? So off we go - into a Guangzhou neighborhood. We stop at a random building and enter a McDonald's. We go up a flight of stairs (most fast food restaurants are multiple floors), and then exit the McDonald's go up another flight.
THere we enter a electronics market, where it's clear I am the oldest there by more than 10 years.
We go to the apple desk. I am presented with a printout of all the China mobile #'s that are available.
"Go ahead - pick what number you want".
OK....hmm...how about this one?
"Fine!"
10 seconds later.... "oh, sorry, that's taken. Pick another?"
OK....how about this one?
"Great!........oh, sorry, that's taken...try this list!"
I am handed another piece of paper.
This one?
"Let's see....... no"
I said in my best Kramer accent: "Why don't you just tell me the number you want me to have?
So - 65 yuan later (about $9), I have unlocked my phone and have a working SIMcard that can now accept calls. No signatures, no documentation. It's nice. Much, much better than the crap we put up with in the US.
By the way - on the trip, I saw my first NFL jersey in Guangzhou. It was a caucasian (he was across the street; don't know if he was American or European)...
.... and he was wearing a Terrell Owens #81 jersey for Buffalo.
(Yesterday, on the street, I saw a 50-something Chinese man wearing a Sacramento Kings shirt with the logo from the late 90s. I am expecting to see a Montreal Expo jersey any day now - or possibly an Akili Smith jersey)
Aug 12, 2010
Hello!
Well, we are here in China. I found a way (temporarily) to get into blogspot - as most conventional means of connecting do not let me access blogspot, twitter, facebook, youtube, and others....
It's been a long road with some ups and some downs - and some things still unsettled. The apartment search is still not finalized. I feel like the main character on "Quantum Leap" - maybe this day will finally be the day we gt our permanent residence all finalized. Right now, we do not have a real place to live yet because negotiations between the landlord and P&G are stuck --- regarding insurance, of course. So, as of Sept 2nd, we have no where to live.
Maybe today will be the day with good news......
Anyway, things are going fairly well. School has started already; the boys seem to like it. Our driver is working out well; I understand now why we can't drive here. Multiple times per trip I close my eyes thinking we will get into an accident; and yet, there is no crash.
On the Vegas gambling scale, where "Eric" would be the most conservative driver around, and "Wiz Drunk" is a careening, no-hold-barred driver, I think our driver would be like Don. Sensible, yet I swear he says "be, be aggressive" when called for. THe best move he has made so far is going the wrong way in a traffic circle to get to the other side.
I'll have more later - but wanted everyone to know we are doing fine (as fine as expected). Now the fun begins as we settled down!
It's been a long road with some ups and some downs - and some things still unsettled. The apartment search is still not finalized. I feel like the main character on "Quantum Leap" - maybe this day will finally be the day we gt our permanent residence all finalized. Right now, we do not have a real place to live yet because negotiations between the landlord and P&G are stuck --- regarding insurance, of course. So, as of Sept 2nd, we have no where to live.
Maybe today will be the day with good news......
Anyway, things are going fairly well. School has started already; the boys seem to like it. Our driver is working out well; I understand now why we can't drive here. Multiple times per trip I close my eyes thinking we will get into an accident; and yet, there is no crash.
On the Vegas gambling scale, where "Eric" would be the most conservative driver around, and "Wiz Drunk" is a careening, no-hold-barred driver, I think our driver would be like Don. Sensible, yet I swear he says "be, be aggressive" when called for. THe best move he has made so far is going the wrong way in a traffic circle to get to the other side.
I'll have more later - but wanted everyone to know we are doing fine (as fine as expected). Now the fun begins as we settled down!
Jul 21, 2010
Two weeks to go
Well everyone, we're getting close to the bug day. 2 weeks from day we will be leaving for China. It's getting exciting and a bit scary as we frantically try to get everything done. The boys are acting as pin cushions this week as we load them up with shots before the trip.
Been doing a lot of "lasts" before the move:
- Last golf round with Steve and Kermit; had that a couple of weeks ago. I was an idiot and left most of my rain gear in the car - of course, it poured for some of the front 9 and for the last 5 holes. Kermit sank a 15 footer in the pouring rain to beat me, 1 up, but I am protesting for two reasons:
a. I learned in great detail how Kermit worked on his friend's brakes on Saturday - and how that directly impacted his sex life; it impaired the use of his thumb - and I'll leave it at that.
b. Steve got this song stuck in my head for 4 holes on the back nine.
With those thoughts rolling through my head, it's no wonder why I sucked.
- Last trip to the casino with Don/Mike: We did that July 4th weekend; Don's comment was that he was disappointed that Derek's mom never showed up at the table.
A couple of firsts:
- First Skype call: You won't beleive it, but the first Skype call I successfully made was to Leland. I asked Leland if Wiz was on Skype - and Leland said that Wiz barely knows how to type, much less use 21st century technology.
- First Slingbox use: to watch the Golf Channel in my study before the British Open. Wow, it's refreshing to see a piece of technology that promises so much deliver on that promise! It was easy to set up - and the picture quality was great.
The test was to watch my living room TV in my computer room. That's a distance of, oh, 12,500 millimeters. Now the real life test will be to watch from a distance of 12,500 miles....
Been doing a lot of "lasts" before the move:
- Last golf round with Steve and Kermit; had that a couple of weeks ago. I was an idiot and left most of my rain gear in the car - of course, it poured for some of the front 9 and for the last 5 holes. Kermit sank a 15 footer in the pouring rain to beat me, 1 up, but I am protesting for two reasons:
a. I learned in great detail how Kermit worked on his friend's brakes on Saturday - and how that directly impacted his sex life; it impaired the use of his thumb - and I'll leave it at that.
b. Steve got this song stuck in my head for 4 holes on the back nine.
With those thoughts rolling through my head, it's no wonder why I sucked.
- Last trip to the casino with Don/Mike: We did that July 4th weekend; Don's comment was that he was disappointed that Derek's mom never showed up at the table.
A couple of firsts:
- First Skype call: You won't beleive it, but the first Skype call I successfully made was to Leland. I asked Leland if Wiz was on Skype - and Leland said that Wiz barely knows how to type, much less use 21st century technology.
- First Slingbox use: to watch the Golf Channel in my study before the British Open. Wow, it's refreshing to see a piece of technology that promises so much deliver on that promise! It was easy to set up - and the picture quality was great.
The test was to watch my living room TV in my computer room. That's a distance of, oh, 12,500 millimeters. Now the real life test will be to watch from a distance of 12,500 miles....
Jul 16, 2010
St. Andrews
I have a lot to blog about, but I thought this was timely.
Someone asked a British golf writer (his name is Michael Corcoran) what his thoughts are on St. Andrews. The candid, politically-incorrect response:
One thing no one likes to say but is so obviously true is that the Old Course is easy, too easy, unless there's gale force winds. ALL of the courses on the rota, save Carnoustie and Muirfield, are easy without wind, but in average weather--even with normal 20 mph winds for the setting--the Old Course, beloved as it is, is just a pitch and putt with deep bunkers and one hard hole. People get all caught up in the romance of it, and the town is the ultimate setting for the Open, but the course itself isn't even the best course in town. It was more mysterious and challenging before the big changes in equipment, but for modern players using modern gear, the course offers no more challenge than your local muni. Everyday players who get a chance to play it are blinded by their lifelong desire to play it, and for a hacker it's still a tough round. But a solid single-digit handicapper can easily go around there in the 70s even on the first try if there isn't major wind, and if they don't hyperventilate from all the romance. They'll never stop playing the Open there, but it's the least challenging venue used for any of the majors by far. It's like a Man o' War battling a nuclear aircraft carrier. The Man o' War has all the spooky legends and "hold fast" crap going for it, then gets sunk in five minutes by superior technology. It's true they all play the same course, even if the weather changes during the day, so it's still fair, but the Old is the only course in championship golf where a player can be several clicks off his game and not only compete, but perhaps even win. That's why this week is Tiger's best chance this year. Not because he's awesome or will overcome tremendous adversity etc., but because the Old, barring a hurricane, is easy. Like he likes his women.
Well - Mr. Corcoran - tell us how you really feel!
Someone asked a British golf writer (his name is Michael Corcoran) what his thoughts are on St. Andrews. The candid, politically-incorrect response:
One thing no one likes to say but is so obviously true is that the Old Course is easy, too easy, unless there's gale force winds. ALL of the courses on the rota, save Carnoustie and Muirfield, are easy without wind, but in average weather--even with normal 20 mph winds for the setting--the Old Course, beloved as it is, is just a pitch and putt with deep bunkers and one hard hole. People get all caught up in the romance of it, and the town is the ultimate setting for the Open, but the course itself isn't even the best course in town. It was more mysterious and challenging before the big changes in equipment, but for modern players using modern gear, the course offers no more challenge than your local muni. Everyday players who get a chance to play it are blinded by their lifelong desire to play it, and for a hacker it's still a tough round. But a solid single-digit handicapper can easily go around there in the 70s even on the first try if there isn't major wind, and if they don't hyperventilate from all the romance. They'll never stop playing the Open there, but it's the least challenging venue used for any of the majors by far. It's like a Man o' War battling a nuclear aircraft carrier. The Man o' War has all the spooky legends and "hold fast" crap going for it, then gets sunk in five minutes by superior technology. It's true they all play the same course, even if the weather changes during the day, so it's still fair, but the Old is the only course in championship golf where a player can be several clicks off his game and not only compete, but perhaps even win. That's why this week is Tiger's best chance this year. Not because he's awesome or will overcome tremendous adversity etc., but because the Old, barring a hurricane, is easy. Like he likes his women.
Well - Mr. Corcoran - tell us how you really feel!
Jul 8, 2010
The signing
Well, I'm sure most of you have heard the news by now. A big signing occured today that imapacts Cleveland sports....
yes! Bobby Engram signed as a free agent! He's the veteran 3rd WR that may be able to help Robiskie and Massaquoi grow and develop. Delhomme to Engram for 6!
Several things strike me as puzzling about the whole deal today...
1. LeBron makes such a big deal about this prime time special - and all the news this morning was a "leak" that he would sign with the Heat. How did he allow a leak to come out and upstage this show?
2. Jim Gray? Cmon....where is Craig Sager when you need him?
3. Match Game time! Fill in the blank. "The Miami Heat is _______'s team". If you said Dwyane Wade, you matched Nipset Russel, Charles Nelson Reilly, Vicki Lawrence, and Richard Dawson. Elaine Joyce said "Pat Riley", and Brett Sommers was drunk - she answered "Rony Seikaly".
Point is - it's not clear who the "alpha dog" is on this team. Is that really what LeBron wants?
4. Oh, he talked about challenge. "This presents the greatest challenge out there for me - going to Miami with Wade and Bosh to win".
Um, excuse me. Yes, you may be able to win with Wade and Bosh. But this is not a huge challenge.
It is now crystal clear that the toughest challenge in team sports for any athlete is to win a championship in the city of Cleveland. Many great athletes have tried in the past - and failed. Athletes who have won before - and after - their stay in Cleveland have all failed since 1964.
Going to Miami is like playing the Masters from the forward tees - it may help you win, but it's not a challenge. If you truly wanted a "great" challenge like you say, then stay in Cleveland and play the Masters with persimmon woods and a balata ball.
It's not the decision that pisses me off - it's the spectacle and the lies associated with it.
yes! Bobby Engram signed as a free agent! He's the veteran 3rd WR that may be able to help Robiskie and Massaquoi grow and develop. Delhomme to Engram for 6!
Several things strike me as puzzling about the whole deal today...
1. LeBron makes such a big deal about this prime time special - and all the news this morning was a "leak" that he would sign with the Heat. How did he allow a leak to come out and upstage this show?
2. Jim Gray? Cmon....where is Craig Sager when you need him?
3. Match Game time! Fill in the blank. "The Miami Heat is _______'s team". If you said Dwyane Wade, you matched Nipset Russel, Charles Nelson Reilly, Vicki Lawrence, and Richard Dawson. Elaine Joyce said "Pat Riley", and Brett Sommers was drunk - she answered "Rony Seikaly".
Point is - it's not clear who the "alpha dog" is on this team. Is that really what LeBron wants?
4. Oh, he talked about challenge. "This presents the greatest challenge out there for me - going to Miami with Wade and Bosh to win".
Um, excuse me. Yes, you may be able to win with Wade and Bosh. But this is not a huge challenge.
It is now crystal clear that the toughest challenge in team sports for any athlete is to win a championship in the city of Cleveland. Many great athletes have tried in the past - and failed. Athletes who have won before - and after - their stay in Cleveland have all failed since 1964.
Going to Miami is like playing the Masters from the forward tees - it may help you win, but it's not a challenge. If you truly wanted a "great" challenge like you say, then stay in Cleveland and play the Masters with persimmon woods and a balata ball.
It's not the decision that pisses me off - it's the spectacle and the lies associated with it.
Parenting Question
So -
Do I let (or make) Freddie (who is 9, by the way) watch the LeBron show tonight?
I think it will hurt him - not crush him, but he will be very disappointed.
Is it time to expose him to the Cleveland curse with sporting events? Losing to the Lions on an untimed play is one thing - losing the biggest superstar the city has ever had is completely another.
For the record, my first memory of a crushing blow for Cleveland sports was the Red Right 88 game vs. Oakland in 1981. I, too, was 9.
Do I let (or make) Freddie (who is 9, by the way) watch the LeBron show tonight?
I think it will hurt him - not crush him, but he will be very disappointed.
Is it time to expose him to the Cleveland curse with sporting events? Losing to the Lions on an untimed play is one thing - losing the biggest superstar the city has ever had is completely another.
For the record, my first memory of a crushing blow for Cleveland sports was the Red Right 88 game vs. Oakland in 1981. I, too, was 9.
Jul 7, 2010
Decision Time
Dear LeBron,
I’m not going to watch your TV show on Thursday evening because my wife already told me your answer. (There is no way this guy drags out this story, then books a 1 hour TV show to kick Cleveland in the mouth) You are staying in Cleveland to play for the Cavaliers. To that I say Thank You.
As we look forward to the future, let me start with this …I forgive you for quitting during the Celtics series. Before you say anything, just stop. We all know you quit. Every sports writer in America is afraid to call you out on that one. Before you start talking about your stats in the last 2 games, you can get a triple double whenever you want, but that doesn’t mean your team will win. Bottom line, you didn’t do enough. I’m glad you realize the fans of Chicago or New York would eat you alive.
I have no idea what occurred in the locker room to turn off the fire. Whatever, whomever, the cancer, make sure its gone by the time camp opens.
About last nigh
Had a terrible nightmare last night....
So I'm in Vegas at the Mirage with the normal group. Eric, Wiz, Mike, Lee, and I go to the UTH table. Don is playing Craps by himself across the way. Don't know why he isn't playing with us.
We are playing for a while and I'm on a tremendous run. Up probably a couple of grand and the dealer decides to take a break. But instead of having another dealer step up in his place, the dealer turns the table over to Eric. But Eric doesn't move out of his seat, he just deals the cards sitting right next to me. So the next hand I think I was playing $500 in each the blind and the ante. Anyway, the next hand I get a full house and the dealer has a straight. The rest of the table losses and Eric then proceeds to return everyones' blind. And I can still remember vividly the following exchange:
Derek: Ummmm Eric, what the heck are you doing? The dealer qualifies.
Eric: No he doesn't. The dealer doesn't have a pair.
Derek: I know he doesn't have a pair, he has a straight
Eric: Doesn't matter. The dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: What the fuck. The dealer has better than a pair. He qualifies. Now return the blinds.
Eric: Nope
Derek: Wiz, what is Eric's problem?
Wiz: Nothings wrong with Eric. The dealer doesn't qualify.
Derek: WHAT!!!! The dealer has a straight!!!!
Wiz: I know, but the dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: Lee....Come on. Help me out. This is crazy.
Lee: I hate this game. I'm just here for the company. I don't know the rules.
Derek: Mike?
Mike: I lost the hand so I don't care.
Derek: Pit Boss, come on over here.
Pit Boss: Yup. The dealer doesn't qualify since he doesn't have a pair.
Derek: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are just doing this because you lost the hand and I'm the only one that won.
Eric: Well......
And then I wake up. No joke I was so pissed off I almost called Eric to yell at him, but I didn't want to wake up Carol. I was so bothered by this, I couldn't fall back to sleep and was stuck watching Morning Joe for an hour.
So I'm in Vegas at the Mirage with the normal group. Eric, Wiz, Mike, Lee, and I go to the UTH table. Don is playing Craps by himself across the way. Don't know why he isn't playing with us.
We are playing for a while and I'm on a tremendous run. Up probably a couple of grand and the dealer decides to take a break. But instead of having another dealer step up in his place, the dealer turns the table over to Eric. But Eric doesn't move out of his seat, he just deals the cards sitting right next to me. So the next hand I think I was playing $500 in each the blind and the ante. Anyway, the next hand I get a full house and the dealer has a straight. The rest of the table losses and Eric then proceeds to return everyones' blind. And I can still remember vividly the following exchange:
Derek: Ummmm Eric, what the heck are you doing? The dealer qualifies.
Eric: No he doesn't. The dealer doesn't have a pair.
Derek: I know he doesn't have a pair, he has a straight
Eric: Doesn't matter. The dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: What the fuck. The dealer has better than a pair. He qualifies. Now return the blinds.
Eric: Nope
Derek: Wiz, what is Eric's problem?
Wiz: Nothings wrong with Eric. The dealer doesn't qualify.
Derek: WHAT!!!! The dealer has a straight!!!!
Wiz: I know, but the dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: Lee....Come on. Help me out. This is crazy.
Lee: I hate this game. I'm just here for the company. I don't know the rules.
Derek: Mike?
Mike: I lost the hand so I don't care.
Derek: Pit Boss, come on over here.
Pit Boss: Yup. The dealer doesn't qualify since he doesn't have a pair.
Derek: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are just doing this because you lost the hand and I'm the only one that won.
Eric: Well......
And then I wake up. No joke I was so pissed off I almost called Eric to yell at him, but I didn't want to wake up Carol. I was so bothered by this, I couldn't fall back to sleep and was stuck watching Morning Joe for an hour.
Jul 4, 2010
World Cup Update
Just one question before we get started:
So who is in charge of duct-taping the numbers on the back of Holland's jerseys? Goodness, they look like graphics that show the prices at a Gulf gas station from 1979.
We have a new leader!
Craig: 19 pts in group play + 6 pts in knockout play = 25 (Holland is still left)
Don: 22 + 2 = 24 (out)
Eric: 18 + 4 = 22 (Germany)
Mike: 16 + 6 = 22 (Uruguay)
Layup: 18 + 0 = 18 (out)
Wiz: 15 + 2 = 17 (out)
Leland: 10 + 4 = 14 (Spain)
Ryan: 12 + 0 = 12 (out)
Side pool update coming via email.
So who is in charge of duct-taping the numbers on the back of Holland's jerseys? Goodness, they look like graphics that show the prices at a Gulf gas station from 1979.
We have a new leader!
Craig: 19 pts in group play + 6 pts in knockout play = 25 (Holland is still left)
Don: 22 + 2 = 24 (out)
Eric: 18 + 4 = 22 (Germany)
Mike: 16 + 6 = 22 (Uruguay)
Layup: 18 + 0 = 18 (out)
Wiz: 15 + 2 = 17 (out)
Leland: 10 + 4 = 14 (Spain)
Ryan: 12 + 0 = 12 (out)
Side pool update coming via email.
Jun 25, 2010
World Cup Update, Day 15 - End of Group Play
Remember to send your knockout round predictions to me-with the tiebreaker being the total # of goals scored in all games of the knockout round - by 9:30 Saturday.
Don: 9-4-6-3 = 22 (2 alive)
Craig: 9-5-4-1 = 19 (3 alive)
Eric: 6-4-4-4 = 18 (4 alive)
Layup: 5-3-4-6 = 18 (2 alive)
Mike: 7-7-1-1 = 16 (2 alive)
Wiz: 1-5-5-4 = 15 (2 alive)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (0 alive)
Leland: 6-4-0-0 = 10 (1 alive)
You know, there should be an NIT bracket as well for the bottom 8 teams. What would that look like?
(1) Serbia vs (8) North Korea
(4) Nigeria vs (5) France
(2) Italy vs (7) Honduras
(3) Algeria vs (6) Cameroon
Total goals scored in this tournament: 2, maybe.
Don: 9-4-6-3 = 22 (2 alive)
Craig: 9-5-4-1 = 19 (3 alive)
Eric: 6-4-4-4 = 18 (4 alive)
Layup: 5-3-4-6 = 18 (2 alive)
Mike: 7-7-1-1 = 16 (2 alive)
Wiz: 1-5-5-4 = 15 (2 alive)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (0 alive)
Leland: 6-4-0-0 = 10 (1 alive)
You know, there should be an NIT bracket as well for the bottom 8 teams. What would that look like?
(1) Serbia vs (8) North Korea
(4) Nigeria vs (5) France
(2) Italy vs (7) Honduras
(3) Algeria vs (6) Cameroon
Total goals scored in this tournament: 2, maybe.
Jun 23, 2010
World Cup Update, Day 13
If this doesn't give you goose bumps.....
Don: 9-4-6-2 = 21 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Craig: 6-5-4-0 = 15 (3 in)
Eric: 6-4-1-4 = 15 (3 in)
Mike: 6-7-1-1 = 15 (2 in, 2 eliminated)
Layup: 5-3-4-3 = 15 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (3 eliminated)
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12 (1 eliminated)
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4 (2 eliminated)
Don: 9-4-6-2 = 21 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Craig: 6-5-4-0 = 15 (3 in)
Eric: 6-4-1-4 = 15 (3 in)
Mike: 6-7-1-1 = 15 (2 in, 2 eliminated)
Layup: 5-3-4-3 = 15 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (3 eliminated)
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12 (1 eliminated)
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4 (2 eliminated)
Jun 22, 2010
World Cup Update, Day 11 - End of Round 2
Here are the scores at the end of Round 2:
Don: 6-1-6-2 = 15
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Let me know if there are errors!
Don: 6-1-6-2 = 15
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Let me know if there are errors!
Jun 20, 2010
World Cup Update, Day 10
Great US Open. It's strangely fascinating to see an 80+ round out of the final group, like Gore and Goosen in 05 and now Dustin this year. It shouldn't happen every year, but once in a while keeps us all on edge.
(And by the way - Dustin's caddy should get $0 for his lack of performance between the chips on 2 and the lip out on 4. Where was he?)
One unexpected question has popped up about the scoring in the World Cup Pool: what happens in a forfeit? I think any team that forfeits loses 5 points in our pool. Bonjour, Wiz!
Don: 6-1-3-2 = 12
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Wiz: 1-1-4-3 = 9
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
Leland and Wiz has 2 games in hand; Don and Craig have 1 game in hand.
(And by the way - Dustin's caddy should get $0 for his lack of performance between the chips on 2 and the lip out on 4. Where was he?)
One unexpected question has popped up about the scoring in the World Cup Pool: what happens in a forfeit? I think any team that forfeits loses 5 points in our pool. Bonjour, Wiz!
Don: 6-1-3-2 = 12
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Wiz: 1-1-4-3 = 9
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
Leland and Wiz has 2 games in hand; Don and Craig have 1 game in hand.
Jun 17, 2010
World Cup Update - Day 7
Love the way the US Open is setting up. -2 the leading score after 18? Love it. I think the winning score will be even.
Here are the standings; first, the official standings after the 1st round games. The four numbers are the points accumulated by your four picks, in order.
Don: 3-1-3-1 = 8
Eric: 3-1-1-3 = 8
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Mike: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Ryan: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
And now up to the minute standings:
Don: 6-1-3-1 = 11
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Mike: 3-4-0-0 = 7
Ryan: 1-0-3-3 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
Here are the standings; first, the official standings after the 1st round games. The four numbers are the points accumulated by your four picks, in order.
Don: 3-1-3-1 = 8
Eric: 3-1-1-3 = 8
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Mike: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Ryan: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
And now up to the minute standings:
Don: 6-1-3-1 = 11
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Mike: 3-4-0-0 = 7
Ryan: 1-0-3-3 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1
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