OK, the one day mourning period is over, and now I am ready to move on without LeCharles Bentley. The productivity of our offensive line is now in the hands of.... Bob Hallen!?!? Oh well, the Browns haven't had a decent offensive line since, oh, 1989 - what's one more year?
Anyway,
1) I guess the LeCharles bad luck cancels out my good luck from earlier in the week - I got my 3rd hole in one! #16 at the Vineyard. The ballw as about 5 yards offline, kicked off the fringe and went screaming toward the hole - then hit the flag dead on, stayed there for about a half second and then dropped. Witnesses were my friend Craig, a co-worker of Don's from the Lima plant, and... well, Don technically wasn't a witness since he was too busy urinating behind some trees when the shot was struck. He did come running out of the woods when I let out my teenage-girl like scream.
2) Coincidence? Since Bob Wickman was traded, my putting has been abysmal. My 3-putt-less streak came to a crashing halt at Cook's Creek on Sunday, where I hit the ball preetty well and shot 80 - with 4 3-putts. My personal streak ended at 79 holes.
On Monday, at the Vineyard, I had 2 more 3-putts.
(However, I took another lesson last week, and things seem to be clicking. My ball striking is the best it has been this year. If I can keep that up next week, and get the putting going again....)
Kermit, by the way, now has an active streak of 110 holes without 3-jacking. I play with him Monday at Apple Valley, a course that has some big greens.
Next tournament is next week at Apple valley, the Ohio Public Golfers Tournament. It's a possible 4 round deal, depending on how well I do. I found out that I am paired with a 16-yeard old high schooler, and 2 20-something Divinsion II/III college kids. That will be fun. My Dad with the cigars and me with my boring style of play - can't wait to frustrate the young kids.
Jul 28, 2006
Jul 27, 2006
Top Five Dirty Little Addictions from this past week
5. Princess Leah's Line from Star Wars- Whenever someone is bitching at me (Ben), I've started to use Leah's line to Darth Vader when he pulls over her ship. "Lord Vader I should of known" in the most whinny voice is classic. I guess its much funnier in person than in writing.
4. Even better than Leah's line is the Emperor's line that Ben has nailed me on about 5-6 times over the past two days. "Only a Sith Lord speaks in absolutes". God this kills me everytime. And yes I know that we are big losers.
3. Text Messaging- I hate doing it, used to make fun of people doing it, and now fuck, I can't stop it.
2. Tivo- Look at this list of crap that I've been tivoing on a regular basis: The Hillz, Road Rules vs. Real World Fresh Meat, Project Runway, Monk, and Reno 911. God what crap.
1. Miracle Whip- I honestly put this on everything. Most recently I have mixed it in with my pasta sauce to give it a very tangy flavor.
4. Even better than Leah's line is the Emperor's line that Ben has nailed me on about 5-6 times over the past two days. "Only a Sith Lord speaks in absolutes". God this kills me everytime. And yes I know that we are big losers.
3. Text Messaging- I hate doing it, used to make fun of people doing it, and now fuck, I can't stop it.
2. Tivo- Look at this list of crap that I've been tivoing on a regular basis: The Hillz, Road Rules vs. Real World Fresh Meat, Project Runway, Monk, and Reno 911. God what crap.
1. Miracle Whip- I honestly put this on everything. Most recently I have mixed it in with my pasta sauce to give it a very tangy flavor.
I don't want to hear it
Life is not fair. period.
I know Derek will post some smart ass comment - I'll try to ignore it.
What a deal. Can't we get any breaks?
I know Derek will post some smart ass comment - I'll try to ignore it.
What a deal. Can't we get any breaks?
Jul 25, 2006
BREAKING NEWS
Harold Reynolds is out at ESPN
I'm at a loss to explain this. Why?
So, for you Baseball Tonight junkies, that's more Kruk and Destrade, I guess.....
I'm at a loss to explain this. Why?
So, for you Baseball Tonight junkies, that's more Kruk and Destrade, I guess.....
Jul 23, 2006
Woman President? Not so fast
I've been thinking about the question of us having a woman president soon. My conclusion is that if it is not Hillary, it's going to be a long while - maybe something like 2030 - until the US is ready to elect a woman.
The reason is simple - our political parties have no high-profile woman officeholders coming up the pipeline that can be seriously called presidential. The parties work very much like baseball teams, with state and local offices being the "minor leagues". Those positions weed out the inferior candidates and the best of the best survive to hold congressional seats and governors.
Most, if not all, of our presidential nominees had experience as either Senators or Governors, or (in rare cases, like George HI Bush) held the Vice Presidency. I can't think of a major nominee whose only experience was a Representative. W, Kerry, Gore (who was a senator), Clinton, Dole, HI Bush, Dukakis, Mondale, Reagan, Carter.....
So that limits the field of who could actually legitimately run for and win the Presidency. I believe that the president in 2008, 2012, 2016 and 2020 is someone we have heard of today, and is holding office today. I know there are counterexamples (like Bush today, who advanced quickly up the chain due to his name, and Carter, who was the beneficiary of an extraordinary political time), but I believe my thought is more the rule.
So - where are we today in terms of women? Where are they in the roles that are traditionally stepping stones to the Presidency?
Let's look at Senators, first.
The Democrats:
Hillary (NY): the only one with the gravitas and the experience to be able to serve. You can make your own judgement on this one.
Boxer and Feinstein (CA): Sorry, but I think the nation is not ready for a liberal California senator to be president. Just the geography of it does not make sense.
Lincoln (AR): Not sure; has not done much in the senate in the past 4 years to make any sort of name for herself.
Landrieu (LA): Won a tough reelection, and is a great campaigner. This is a possibility, since she has crossed over and can't be called a liberal; however, for that reason, she may be un-nominatable in the current Democratic party.
Stabenow (MI): No. Sorry.
Mikulski (MD): I hate to say it, but you have to look presidential to be considered. That's why Steve Forbes isn't our president. And she doesn't seem to have any need to go for higher office.
Murray and Cantwell (WA): Both are considered political lightweights. No.
The Republicans:
Hutchison (TX): Her time has come and gone. She is actually talking about retiring.
Dole (NC): We've sampled this plate, thank you. No.
Murkowski (AK): When you win your first election under charges of favoritism from your father, the governor, then you have a LONG way to go. And it is Alaska - no.
Snowe, Collins (ME): Too moderate for the main party. No.
So outside of Hillary, I think there are no serious candidates for the Presidency from the Senate. What about governors?
Democrats:
Miner (DE): no.
Granholm (MI): has the looks and the charisma, but was born in Canada. Ineligible.
Blanco (LA): Not after Katrina.
Sebelius (KS), Napolitano (AZ): Two democrats who were elected in red states. Two to watch out for.
Republicans:
Martz (MT): No.
Lingle (HI): See Murkowski above, without the favoritism charge. It's Hawaii, for goodness sake!
Walker (UT): No.
Rell (CT): No.
In the future, there are two here to watch out for - Kathleen Sebelius and Janet Napolitano. However, they are at least 8 years off, if not more.
I exclude Condi Rice since I think you need to have some sort of elective office experience in order to run.
In the long term future, there are probably several candidates that are in the House now (or in statehouses somewhere) that have bright futures. Two I can think of offhand are Anne Northrup (R-Ky), who has been consistently elected in a marginal Louisville district for the past 10 years, and Shelly Moore Capito (R-WV), who probably would have ran for the Senate if cryogenic Robert Byrd decided to retire - he did not, so she's waiting her time. Both of those ladies have a Senate seat waiting for them (McConnell's in KY, Byrd or Rockefeller in WV) if they choose to enter. But as I said, that's a long way off.
And I'm sure there are a few Democratic women house members that are elected in toss-up or red states, although I can't think of any offhand. Herseth in SD?
So - I'm sure I bored you with this analysis - but the bottom line is if Hillary doesn't win in 08, I think it will be at least 2016 until we see a serious credible woman candidate for the Presidency, and I think the best guess on who that could be is either Kathleen Sebelius or Janet Napolitano.
The reason is simple - our political parties have no high-profile woman officeholders coming up the pipeline that can be seriously called presidential. The parties work very much like baseball teams, with state and local offices being the "minor leagues". Those positions weed out the inferior candidates and the best of the best survive to hold congressional seats and governors.
Most, if not all, of our presidential nominees had experience as either Senators or Governors, or (in rare cases, like George HI Bush) held the Vice Presidency. I can't think of a major nominee whose only experience was a Representative. W, Kerry, Gore (who was a senator), Clinton, Dole, HI Bush, Dukakis, Mondale, Reagan, Carter.....
So that limits the field of who could actually legitimately run for and win the Presidency. I believe that the president in 2008, 2012, 2016 and 2020 is someone we have heard of today, and is holding office today. I know there are counterexamples (like Bush today, who advanced quickly up the chain due to his name, and Carter, who was the beneficiary of an extraordinary political time), but I believe my thought is more the rule.
So - where are we today in terms of women? Where are they in the roles that are traditionally stepping stones to the Presidency?
Let's look at Senators, first.
The Democrats:
Hillary (NY): the only one with the gravitas and the experience to be able to serve. You can make your own judgement on this one.
Boxer and Feinstein (CA): Sorry, but I think the nation is not ready for a liberal California senator to be president. Just the geography of it does not make sense.
Lincoln (AR): Not sure; has not done much in the senate in the past 4 years to make any sort of name for herself.
Landrieu (LA): Won a tough reelection, and is a great campaigner. This is a possibility, since she has crossed over and can't be called a liberal; however, for that reason, she may be un-nominatable in the current Democratic party.
Stabenow (MI): No. Sorry.
Mikulski (MD): I hate to say it, but you have to look presidential to be considered. That's why Steve Forbes isn't our president. And she doesn't seem to have any need to go for higher office.
Murray and Cantwell (WA): Both are considered political lightweights. No.
The Republicans:
Hutchison (TX): Her time has come and gone. She is actually talking about retiring.
Dole (NC): We've sampled this plate, thank you. No.
Murkowski (AK): When you win your first election under charges of favoritism from your father, the governor, then you have a LONG way to go. And it is Alaska - no.
Snowe, Collins (ME): Too moderate for the main party. No.
So outside of Hillary, I think there are no serious candidates for the Presidency from the Senate. What about governors?
Democrats:
Miner (DE): no.
Granholm (MI): has the looks and the charisma, but was born in Canada. Ineligible.
Blanco (LA): Not after Katrina.
Sebelius (KS), Napolitano (AZ): Two democrats who were elected in red states. Two to watch out for.
Republicans:
Martz (MT): No.
Lingle (HI): See Murkowski above, without the favoritism charge. It's Hawaii, for goodness sake!
Walker (UT): No.
Rell (CT): No.
In the future, there are two here to watch out for - Kathleen Sebelius and Janet Napolitano. However, they are at least 8 years off, if not more.
I exclude Condi Rice since I think you need to have some sort of elective office experience in order to run.
In the long term future, there are probably several candidates that are in the House now (or in statehouses somewhere) that have bright futures. Two I can think of offhand are Anne Northrup (R-Ky), who has been consistently elected in a marginal Louisville district for the past 10 years, and Shelly Moore Capito (R-WV), who probably would have ran for the Senate if cryogenic Robert Byrd decided to retire - he did not, so she's waiting her time. Both of those ladies have a Senate seat waiting for them (McConnell's in KY, Byrd or Rockefeller in WV) if they choose to enter. But as I said, that's a long way off.
And I'm sure there are a few Democratic women house members that are elected in toss-up or red states, although I can't think of any offhand. Herseth in SD?
So - I'm sure I bored you with this analysis - but the bottom line is if Hillary doesn't win in 08, I think it will be at least 2016 until we see a serious credible woman candidate for the Presidency, and I think the best guess on who that could be is either Kathleen Sebelius or Janet Napolitano.
Jul 21, 2006
I owe Leland..
a better answer to his "woman as President" post than the one I gave him. Look for a thorough analysis of female presidential candidates in the next few days.
By the way, where is everyone? There's been some good posts up here accompanied by the sound of crickets chirping. Is everyone on vacation?
By the way, where is everyone? There's been some good posts up here accompanied by the sound of crickets chirping. Is everyone on vacation?
Jul 20, 2006
For those of you who questioned....
the Reds trade, I give you last night's boxscore as evidence of why the trade was needed.
I'm not a Reds fan, but the performance of the bullpen after the rain delay in the 2nd inning was spectacular.
I'm not a Reds fan, but the performance of the bullpen after the rain delay in the 2nd inning was spectacular.
Jul 18, 2006
Quick Thoughts
1. I can't tell if this site is for real or not. They have enough legit photos and a big enough following that I'm sure that there is some validity to what they are posting (check out the shit about the ex Reds reliever and what the comments say about him). Anyway, its worth checking out just for some stupid pictures of LoDuca, Carl Everett, and Arroyo.
2. NEWS FLASH-THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON THE HEREFORD NINE...THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON HEREFORD NINE.
3. Funniest call in the middle of the night. Only some of you will find this funny, but two nights ago I get a call from Austin at 1:00am. He never calls me in the middle of the night, so I picked up thinking that it was important. And it was. He called to tell me that the girl he went out with that night used to date Justin Fargas. My response to him was, "Justin Fargas????? You mean the ex Raider? Hey he was my 2004 Madden League MVP. That's fucking awesome!!!!" He replied "I know, that's why I called." What would I do without good friends like this.
4. I had not one, but two female adjusters break their leg this week. What the fuck are the odds on that? I can't catch a break here.
2. NEWS FLASH-THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON THE HEREFORD NINE...THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON HEREFORD NINE.
3. Funniest call in the middle of the night. Only some of you will find this funny, but two nights ago I get a call from Austin at 1:00am. He never calls me in the middle of the night, so I picked up thinking that it was important. And it was. He called to tell me that the girl he went out with that night used to date Justin Fargas. My response to him was, "Justin Fargas????? You mean the ex Raider? Hey he was my 2004 Madden League MVP. That's fucking awesome!!!!" He replied "I know, that's why I called." What would I do without good friends like this.
4. I had not one, but two female adjusters break their leg this week. What the fuck are the odds on that? I can't catch a break here.
The new Casio Exilim
Finally purchased a digital camera, since I'm tired of passing up endless amounts dumbasses on the road and outside my place that I want to share with all of you!! Anyway, I figured I would post the pictures off the camera.
Here is the only good picture from Boca. There are several of me just sitting there drenched in sweat that I have left off for everyone's saftey.
This is basically my backyard. A nice little park that goes down to the ocean. The houses on the right are occupied by my boy Sugar Ray Leonard, Greg Maddux, and LC from Laguna Beach. Sugar Ray is the only man I have seen that makes running in a collared shirt and a sweater vest look cool. 
Ahhh, my lovely office. You can't see the big box of tissues that I have on my back desk, which needs to be refilled 2-3 times a month. And I still haven't had a chance to hang my diploma.
There's my bitch cleaning my patio. He's better than any illegal I could of gotten off the streets.
And here is the house that I'm looking to buy in Encinitas. 1 block off the beach, which should only be about $1.5 million.
Here is the only good picture from Boca. There are several of me just sitting there drenched in sweat that I have left off for everyone's saftey.
This is basically my backyard. A nice little park that goes down to the ocean. The houses on the right are occupied by my boy Sugar Ray Leonard, Greg Maddux, and LC from Laguna Beach. Sugar Ray is the only man I have seen that makes running in a collared shirt and a sweater vest look cool. 
Ahhh, my lovely office. You can't see the big box of tissues that I have on my back desk, which needs to be refilled 2-3 times a month. And I still haven't had a chance to hang my diploma.
There's my bitch cleaning my patio. He's better than any illegal I could of gotten off the streets.
And here is the house that I'm looking to buy in Encinitas. 1 block off the beach, which should only be about $1.5 million.
79 degrees!!!!
Boy its hot out here. I just can't take it anymore. I just can't do anything outside when its this hot. I'm moving.
Around the corner is....
Well, now that the Tribe is losing to X Games alumni (Jonny Moseley? Who the hell is that?), it's now officially time to switch to NFL mode.
8 days until training camp. Wow. 8 days!
It's the hottest day of the year here in Cincinnati (and in most other cities as well). This picture should give you a smile and remind you that colder and better days are ahead.
(Please feel free to substitute the Browns with your team of choice)...
Can't wait to tailgate again in the muni lot in the fall.....
Jul 17, 2006
Woman as President
Will a woman be President of the United States in the 50 years? Explain your reasoning.
Jul 14, 2006
Quick Thoughts for Friday:
- Did you know that you should marinate steaks and other meats for at least 4-5 days to get the full affect of the marinade? But you should lightly sear the meat first before putting it into the fridge. Learned that last night on the Food Network. Didn't know that I could do that with meat.
- Did anyone watch that segment on Sportscenter about that boy in Denver and how he met Todd Helton? Jesus, I was just looking for the A's highlights and nearly had a balling session at 6:15am this morning. Hangovers make me very vunerable and sensitve.
- Went bowling last night with my office. We played against our neighboring office and got destroyed. This other office is so god damn competitive. If I wasn't the manager and had to show my people that I'm not a dick, I would of put together an all-star team to kick their ass in every sport. But since I'm a nice guy and I'm looking for participation rather than winning, I had several bowlers that didn't crack 50. My ringer, Austin, sucked it up as well. Thanks Austin for spending the entire time hitting on my one new hire and ignoring that I needed you to bowl a 150.
- Men who have rollers for their briefcases piss me off to no end. Its not necessary. Are you that weak to carry a 10 pound briefcase? So can you guess how I reacted when a male supervisor from the other office showed up with his owner ball in a bag that had a roller? How lazy are we all getting? Earned massive points with my office when I was just ripping into the guy as he walked past our group.
- Just want to say thank you to the person driving the white van on the 405 this morning going 40 mph. 40 MPH!!!!!!! I was stuck behind him for about 2 miles, yelling at myself with one of those "Great asshole, you are going way to slow for me to even pull around you and nobody won't let me in" conversations. I was so pissed, I took down his license plate number and I will be completing a Choicepoint search on him today. Love working for an insurance company.
Jul 13, 2006
Baseball
Ahh baseball is back!!!! Thank God, but why is there only 7 games tonight? Why isn't there a full load? People are craving for games after three days off. Selig and the scheduling idiots need to answer these important questions.And can someone explain the trade between the Reds and Nats? Why did the Nats get Lopez/Kearns for a bunch of bullpen help? Am I missing something?
British Open Tournament
OK, another possible gambling outing. Any interest in a draft again for the British Open? Pick 4 golfers and the person with the lowest ranking wins? Post in the comment section if you are interested. I'm sure we can get 8 people.
Who said it?
Who said the following quote?
"I don't understand (the baseball blackouts) myself. I get blacked out from some games."
Was it:
a) Derek Zahn, when frantically searching for an A's game on Saturday;
b) Mark Cuban, when figuring out how to watch his future team, the Pittsburgh Pirates;
c) Isaiah Thomas, because he is a dumbass;
d) None of the above.
Well, although it could be "a", the correct answer is "d". Click here for the person who said it.
"I don't understand (the baseball blackouts) myself. I get blacked out from some games."
Was it:
a) Derek Zahn, when frantically searching for an A's game on Saturday;
b) Mark Cuban, when figuring out how to watch his future team, the Pittsburgh Pirates;
c) Isaiah Thomas, because he is a dumbass;
d) None of the above.
Well, although it could be "a", the correct answer is "d". Click here for the person who said it.
Jul 12, 2006
Wow!
Did you realize that the lyrics to Dusty Springfield's hit, "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" are:
You don't have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don't have to stay forever
I will understand
I always thought the second line was "Just because you can....". Boy, am I embarrassed....I've been singing that song at the top of my lungs with the wrong words!
You don't have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don't have to stay forever
I will understand
I always thought the second line was "Just because you can....". Boy, am I embarrassed....I've been singing that song at the top of my lungs with the wrong words!
Golf Update
Well, for those of you who are sick of getting golf updates from someone who can't break 80 in these tournaments, this is for you!
Had a wildly successful weekend in Iowa, finishing 20th at the Iowa Masters by shooting 77-72-70=219 (+3). $100 worth of merchandise from the Iowa State Pro Shop is coming my way; look to see me in a snappy Cyclone windbreaker sometime soon.
Highlights of the trip:
Thu 5:30 eastern: leave Lima, OH, and get partially lost trying to leave the city
Thu 8:00 eastern: find a random 18-hole course in Plymouth, IN and play 9 holes; after about 4 holes, I don't putt anymore since the greens are slightly slower than shag carpeting.
Fri 2:30 eastern(1:30 Central) am: Pull into Iowa City and make last call at the Sports Column.
Fri 3:00 am central: Crash at Joey's place.
Fri 6:45 am central: Awaken to Joey's female roommate carrying on on her cell phone. Argh.
Fri 11:00 am: Drive to Ames
Fri 2:20 pm: Tee off with the Korean professor and two others. Start +4 after 7 holes.
Fri 5:35 pm: Finish the front nine. Yes, you read that right.
Fri 8:15: Finish the round with a 77, which includes a double on 16 when my perfectly placed lay up shot finds a hole - not a divot - in the fairway. A skull and a couple of bad chips later, I make 7. Stats from Friday: 8 fwys, 7 greens, 30 putts, 5/9 up and down, 1 double.
Fri 11:30: Crash, being dead tired.
Sat 5:15 am: Alarm goes off. I have massive headache. Head to the Kum N Go for Motrin.
Sat 6:55 am: Tee off. I figure I need a 76 to be safe to make the cut for Sunday.
Sat ~7:30 am: On the 2nd hole, I hit my tee shot on a par 4 into the water. Double. Nice job, idiot.
Then I proceed to go -2 for the remaining 16 holes. I played smart; short game was on, and a couple of putts fell. The only bogey (after #2) was on 17, a par 3, when the group was talking about the UFC fight that night; this guy kept talking about his run-in with a UFC fighter in Minneapolis AS I AM TRYING TO LINE UP A CHIP. Thanks! He then proceeds to try to imitate a knee-to-the-head blow, but as he does it, he immediately remarks "ooh! My back!".
That's a nice pre-shot thought. I blow an easy 40-foot chip 20 feet by the hole. Thanks.
Final stats for Saturday: 10 fwys, 11 greens, 28 putts, 5/6 up& downs, 1 double. 72.
Get back to the hotel around 1; eat 9 pieces of pizza at the Old Chicago buffet; sleep until 5.
Sat 8:00 pm: Get dinner with some friends from Iowa City who came up
Sat 9:30 pm: Find a bar with UFC on it. God, what a disappointment.
Sat 11:45 pm: UFC finished up. Should we crash for the night (with an 8 am tee time) or go out?
Sun 12:30 am: In a bar in downtown Ames, where I am clearly the oldest person in the bar, by a good 5 years (even though I was carded). It took all my willpower to turn down shots that night.
Sun 2:00 am: Closing time.
Sun 2:45 am: Asleep, I think.
Sun 6:30 am: Alarm. God, it's early. I ache - but no splitting headache.
Sun 7:45 am: At the range, thinking my swing is nowhere in sight as I top 3 consecutive 5-woods in a row.
Round begins:
#2: Bogey.....hoo boy, this is going to be a long day.
#4: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#6: Get up and down from 10 yards in front of the green
#7: Get up and down from 35 yards in front of the green
#8: Thin a 5 iron to 4 feet, birdie.
#9: Wedge to 15 feet, birdie.
#11: Par 3; go halfway down a hill left of the green, 25 yards away; chip to 4 feet, par.
#12: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#13: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#14: Get up and down from a bunker 10 yards from the green
#15: Get up and down from 25 yards in front of the green (made a 15 footer)
#17: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#18: From 85 yards out, chunk a wedge; then proceed to hole the chip shot. Birdie.
How about these stats:
9 fwys, 8 greens, 24 PUTTS, 9/10 up and downs. 70.
The best thing about it is that I was playing with a D-I scholarship golfer who hit the ball at least 40 yards further than me. I can't even imagine what he was thinking - me, whose drives all day were 220-yard high hooks, was kicking his ass. I love doing that.
Bob Wickman (the putter) was Mariano Rivera for that round. In fact, he has an active streak of 50 (FIFTY) straight non-3-putt greens.
The more I think about the course, the more I love it. It is not a bomber's paradise; it is a 6600 yard layout that you have to think your way around. Driver is needed on only about 5-6 holes. There are plenty of 310-yd par 4 where 6s or 7s can be made by excellent golfer. The key is that woods and crap that line the fairways and greens are NOT hazards - they are part of the "course" where (if you can't find the ball) you have to hit provisionals. One guy on the second day hit 4 balls from the tee on a par 3 - because his first 3 shots missed the green by about 5 yards, kicked down a wooded hill and was lost.
I love those types of courses. You have to control every shot. Success is not measured by how good your shot was, but if you avoided the danger successfully. You can't fire at a lot of flags - period. If you do, you open yourself up to doubles or worse.
Today's young golfers can't play those types of courses. They can't think. Every hole is a driver (or, at worst, a 3 wood) for them. I saw it out there and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There's no such thing as playing conservative - hell, there's no such thing as game planning, I think.
On these short par 4s, sure, you bring 3 more into play (and you can possibly even make 2) , but now 6, 7 or worse is a significant probability. The junk is literally 5 yards off a green that is 17 yards deep. That's not a big target. Why go for it? This is stroke play. I don't understand today's young golfers. And if they keep having these cocky attitudes, I guess I have no choice but to beat them with my Pat Buchanan style of play.
Had a wildly successful weekend in Iowa, finishing 20th at the Iowa Masters by shooting 77-72-70=219 (+3). $100 worth of merchandise from the Iowa State Pro Shop is coming my way; look to see me in a snappy Cyclone windbreaker sometime soon.
Highlights of the trip:
Thu 5:30 eastern: leave Lima, OH, and get partially lost trying to leave the city
Thu 8:00 eastern: find a random 18-hole course in Plymouth, IN and play 9 holes; after about 4 holes, I don't putt anymore since the greens are slightly slower than shag carpeting.
Fri 2:30 eastern(1:30 Central) am: Pull into Iowa City and make last call at the Sports Column.
Fri 3:00 am central: Crash at Joey's place.
Fri 6:45 am central: Awaken to Joey's female roommate carrying on on her cell phone. Argh.
Fri 11:00 am: Drive to Ames
Fri 2:20 pm: Tee off with the Korean professor and two others. Start +4 after 7 holes.
Fri 5:35 pm: Finish the front nine. Yes, you read that right.
Fri 8:15: Finish the round with a 77, which includes a double on 16 when my perfectly placed lay up shot finds a hole - not a divot - in the fairway. A skull and a couple of bad chips later, I make 7. Stats from Friday: 8 fwys, 7 greens, 30 putts, 5/9 up and down, 1 double.
Fri 11:30: Crash, being dead tired.
Sat 5:15 am: Alarm goes off. I have massive headache. Head to the Kum N Go for Motrin.
Sat 6:55 am: Tee off. I figure I need a 76 to be safe to make the cut for Sunday.
Sat ~7:30 am: On the 2nd hole, I hit my tee shot on a par 4 into the water. Double. Nice job, idiot.
Then I proceed to go -2 for the remaining 16 holes. I played smart; short game was on, and a couple of putts fell. The only bogey (after #2) was on 17, a par 3, when the group was talking about the UFC fight that night; this guy kept talking about his run-in with a UFC fighter in Minneapolis AS I AM TRYING TO LINE UP A CHIP. Thanks! He then proceeds to try to imitate a knee-to-the-head blow, but as he does it, he immediately remarks "ooh! My back!".
That's a nice pre-shot thought. I blow an easy 40-foot chip 20 feet by the hole. Thanks.
Final stats for Saturday: 10 fwys, 11 greens, 28 putts, 5/6 up& downs, 1 double. 72.
Get back to the hotel around 1; eat 9 pieces of pizza at the Old Chicago buffet; sleep until 5.
Sat 8:00 pm: Get dinner with some friends from Iowa City who came up
Sat 9:30 pm: Find a bar with UFC on it. God, what a disappointment.
Sat 11:45 pm: UFC finished up. Should we crash for the night (with an 8 am tee time) or go out?
Sun 12:30 am: In a bar in downtown Ames, where I am clearly the oldest person in the bar, by a good 5 years (even though I was carded). It took all my willpower to turn down shots that night.
Sun 2:00 am: Closing time.
Sun 2:45 am: Asleep, I think.
Sun 6:30 am: Alarm. God, it's early. I ache - but no splitting headache.
Sun 7:45 am: At the range, thinking my swing is nowhere in sight as I top 3 consecutive 5-woods in a row.
Round begins:
#2: Bogey.....hoo boy, this is going to be a long day.
#4: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#6: Get up and down from 10 yards in front of the green
#7: Get up and down from 35 yards in front of the green
#8: Thin a 5 iron to 4 feet, birdie.
#9: Wedge to 15 feet, birdie.
#11: Par 3; go halfway down a hill left of the green, 25 yards away; chip to 4 feet, par.
#12: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#13: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#14: Get up and down from a bunker 10 yards from the green
#15: Get up and down from 25 yards in front of the green (made a 15 footer)
#17: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#18: From 85 yards out, chunk a wedge; then proceed to hole the chip shot. Birdie.
How about these stats:
9 fwys, 8 greens, 24 PUTTS, 9/10 up and downs. 70.
The best thing about it is that I was playing with a D-I scholarship golfer who hit the ball at least 40 yards further than me. I can't even imagine what he was thinking - me, whose drives all day were 220-yard high hooks, was kicking his ass. I love doing that.
Bob Wickman (the putter) was Mariano Rivera for that round. In fact, he has an active streak of 50 (FIFTY) straight non-3-putt greens.
The more I think about the course, the more I love it. It is not a bomber's paradise; it is a 6600 yard layout that you have to think your way around. Driver is needed on only about 5-6 holes. There are plenty of 310-yd par 4 where 6s or 7s can be made by excellent golfer. The key is that woods and crap that line the fairways and greens are NOT hazards - they are part of the "course" where (if you can't find the ball) you have to hit provisionals. One guy on the second day hit 4 balls from the tee on a par 3 - because his first 3 shots missed the green by about 5 yards, kicked down a wooded hill and was lost.
I love those types of courses. You have to control every shot. Success is not measured by how good your shot was, but if you avoided the danger successfully. You can't fire at a lot of flags - period. If you do, you open yourself up to doubles or worse.
Today's young golfers can't play those types of courses. They can't think. Every hole is a driver (or, at worst, a 3 wood) for them. I saw it out there and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There's no such thing as playing conservative - hell, there's no such thing as game planning, I think.
On these short par 4s, sure, you bring 3 more into play (and you can possibly even make 2) , but now 6, 7 or worse is a significant probability. The junk is literally 5 yards off a green that is 17 yards deep. That's not a big target. Why go for it? This is stroke play. I don't understand today's young golfers. And if they keep having these cocky attitudes, I guess I have no choice but to beat them with my Pat Buchanan style of play.
Breaking News....
Major changes in my top 5 favorite foods.
1. Crispy Cream Cheese Wantons
2. The crunchy tacos at Chipotle
3. Dominos thin and crispy pizza
4. ZBest pepperoni and sausage pizza
5. In and Out Burgers
The cheesesteak from Philly's best, the crunch wrap supreme from Taco Bell, and the Buffalo Chicken sandwich from Chilis have all fallen out of the top 5.
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