I haven't looked good in a picture in some years. I used to think it was the lighting or the photographer. After this latest round of pictures I got back from a recent pool party, I've finally came to the decision that it is just me.

3 Questions for Friday

Three quick questions for you all to answer on

1. Is there a problem with a man signing a prenup? K Fed did it, which means that its OK right???
2. Does the baseball-sex analogy still remain the same when you are talking about a threesome? Does 1st base still mean the same with one girl or two? Shouldn't it mean more with 2 girls? Like in a threesome shouldn't 1st base equal getting two girls into your place and taking off their shoes? I mean that's a lot more work than feeling up a girl.
3. Aren't you excited for the NBA to start up? I'm so excited to see just how bad the Knicks will be, or at least see the entire Knick fan base root against their own team.

Bigbie's got our back

I'm sure many of you already viewed Adam Corolla's movie idea for a having a submarine roll up to a country club and rob all of their cars. If not, it is a must see. "I hope I got your attention now".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-ovdfKMBE

Anyway, this got Ben and I talking about if we had to put together a crew for either good or evil, who would it include. Well here is the list that a drunk Ben and a tired self put together late last night while watching endless amounts of UFC on the Spike channel.

1. Creasey Bear- Denzel Washington's character from Man on Fire. His scenes when torturing those guys deserve the roll as our interrogator.
2. Ben Kingsley- The brain behind the operation and instructs the crew on the plan. Nobody really gets to see him since he only communicates to us through a speaker phone.
3. Richie and Keith- explosive experts. I haven't seen anything that they haven't been able to catch on fire or destroy.
4. Begbie (Trainspotting)- need him just in case if we get in a fight in a British bar. Or if we need some money to be collected.
5. Bullet Tooth Tony (Snatch)- need him just in case Begbie isn't around or too drunk to fight.
6. Whistler (Sneakers)- As our blind computer guy and hacker. I had to really argue Ben for this one since he wanted to go with Ving Rheames from Mission Impossible.
7. Jason Borne as our driver. Matt Damon's character might of had the best car chase I've seen since the one in 1992 on York Rd.
8. Michael Cheritto- Tom Seizemore's character from Heat. We need a role player in the group. Not everyone can be an allstar.
9. Chong Li as our Asian enforcer.

Is this our future.....

So I get a call from my counterpart and friend Jeff Maier in Ohio today explaining that he received a call from our VP of Product Management last week expressing the need for him to check out a new type of vehicle that is being made in his area by a company called Myers Motors in Cleveland. This car is supposed to be electric and have a driving radius of 15 miles. Target customers are people living in cities with a short commute. They contacted our company to join in a partnership with them for advertising and insurance, basing it on that the public would be all for an insurance company backing an environmentally sound car alternative.

So Jeff goes out with a couple of his supervisors to check out the company and the car. This is what they are producing. A three wheeled golf cart thingy. He forwards me this picture and I just can't stop laughing. He then calls me to explain his driving experience. Not only did he crack his head on the roof when he went over a speed bump (no head room), but it is rear wheel drive. Rear wheel drive???? With only one wheel? So what happens when Jeff is pulling out into traffic on wet pavement? That's right, spins it out of control and almost wrecks the thing into a curb. Jeff seems to have these issues of wrecking cars when it is most inconvenient, like over in Spain or a driving a prototype vehicle. And speaking of accidents, we as an insurance industry are extremely concerned with all of the hybrid cars that are being produced now, since they are made out of paper (one cheap way to increase the MPG). I alone have seen at least 10 pretty bad accidents with hybrids that have resulted in serious injury with a moderate impact. That's not good. And now you want to put these things on the road? Yeah, that makes sense. On the flip side, he did say that the vehicle was extremely fast and quick and did not make a sound for whatever that is worth.

Anyway, my biggest pet peeve about this whole hybrid/electric car transition is when will the car companies realize that they don't have to make the car look ugly or odd for it to be a hybrid? When will there be a normal looking car that comes out that is either electric or a hybrid. Am I missing something????

Golf update from Tuesday

Well, since you didn't hear from me on Tuesday, golf didn't go well.

Let's just say I made an 8 on a hole.

On a par 3.

Of 130 yards.

With no penalty strokes.

But I did 1-putt the hole!

The par 3 had a hazard in front, and a huge embankment behind the green that went down a good 70-80 feet. I hit an easy PW, and the ball flew too far, kicked off the back of the green and down the hill. The hill was cleared out, so that ball rolled... and rolled... and rolled, about 60 yards down the hill, about 50 feet below the surface of teh green. Oh - and there were plenty of trees on the embankment as well!

5 chips later (it kind of got fuzzy for a while there, after successive attempts hit a tree, then came up 20 feet short with the ball then rolling all the way back down to my feet), I got the level of the green; and from there I made a nice up and down from greenside rough. 8.

I missed the cut by 10 stroles, which seems like a lot, but as I review, only 3 swings cost me:
1) the 8 on a par 3 (5 strokes)
2) A missed layup on a par 5 caused me to then hit my 3rd shot into the water from rough (2 strokes wasted)
3) A bad drive into heavy weeds on a par 4 caused a triple (3 strokes).

There's your 10 shots right there.

Anyway, I did learn that "Flgapole Sitta" is a pretty good song to have in your head while you play. My tempo was smooth as I was singing: "Paranoia, Paranoia, everybody's coming to get me...." during my backswing.

The lack of logic in a liberal arts mind

I'm ignoring golfing updates for now to bring you this article, which floored me.

Please read this op-ed to the Charlotte Observer by Dr. Susan Roberts. The topic is the proposed flag-burning amendment.

Now, can you spot the fatal flaw in her argument? Hint - it's in the third to last paragraph.

The kicker - the author is a professor of Political Science at Davidson.

How could a political science professor not know how our government works? It boggles the mind...

Monday Night update

Well, one round in the books. A very up-and-down 77 today puts me in (ironically) 77th place. That puts me on the outside looking into the top 64 for match play. However, it looks like lower scores were shot at the 2nd course that I'm playing tomorrow. All of the top 4 scores were posted at Elks Run, the course I am at tomorrow.

Stats for today:
Fairways: 6
Greens: 8 ( goal was 10)
Bob Wickman stats: for those 8 greens, 1 birdie and 2 3-putts.

Total putts: 31
Up and down: 6 / 11.
Doubles or higher: none

I guess golf all evens out. I three-putted two holes on the back side, but made 2 10-foot downhill sliders for par, also on the back.

I have a feeling 152 or 153 will be the number - stay tuned tomorrow to see if the Terps get off the bubble and make the field.

Don, by the way, played extremely well but couldn't putt. He hit 15 greens and shot 75. He is changing putters for tomorrow. So, David Riske is out, I guess.

Golf Update

Well, tournament #4 is upon us. Monday and Tuesday is the 97th Cincinnati Amateur Championship. Approx 240 people have entered; the field will play 2 different courses on Monday and Tuesday and the low 64 go to a single-elimination match play bracket for the rest of the week.

I feel like I may have figured some things out last week - had a great range session on Wednesday where I dicovered I was too hunched over- again. Once I addressed the ball in an upright manner, I was striping the driver and hitting solid iron for the first time this year.

The game plan for each round is simple:
a) hit 10 greens or so
b) Make sure Bob Wickman shows up and we "convert the save" for those 10 greens into pars (no 3 jacks)
c) Avoid the Noid (doubles or higher)
d) and get up and down 4 out of 8 times on the 8 greens we don't hit.

If we throw in one birdie into that mix, that equates to a +3 round, more than good enough to make match play. Don and I are thinking that 152-154 is the number.

Others to watch in this tournament:
1) Don (Hershey);
2) Scott Fearn, another P&G er who I met a few years ago; when I was in Iowa, he was diagnosed with skin cancer but is recovering and beating it. That scares the hell out of me. When I hear golfers my age coming down with skin cancer, I can't help but think that my 25 years on the course is going to catch up with me soon and I'll be next.
3) "The Good Doctor", Dr. Todd Pieper, my dentist (and Don's too). A good friend who actually made the round of 16 in this tourney in 2004.
4) And Chris Sabo. Yes, that Chris Sabo.

If I am going to continually post updates on the golf tournaments here, I should, you know, actually play well one of these times. Check this website: www.gcga.org for results; I'll post Monday night to let you know if we are on pace to make the field of 64 or if I'm a bubble team like the Terrapins - good, but not good enough to get in.

Sports Comments

It will be interesting to see how they handle the Guillen situation. I wasn't all that interested in his comments until someone brought up the fact that they ran Ms. Schott out of baseball for racial slurs and this is in the same context. Don't you think?

Boy, what a pitiful performance by the US today. I'm beginning to understand why Eric tends to root against the US in international play, due to all of the unnecessary hyping of our sports products. Bode Miller, Olympic Basketball, WBC baseball team, and now the US Soccer team. Come on. A lose to Ghana????? Unacceptable. You talk about a blown chance to capitalize on the World Cup. Ugh.

Wow, the A's pulled out all the stops last night for a must win. Street for two innings and Calero for two innings. You think Macha wanted that win to move 1 game ahead of the Rangers? And how do we get shut out twice (1 hit two nights again by Jennings) in Colorado? Here comes the offensive slump I was expecting in early May.

Non sports related comment. Will 80's ballards come back into style enough for people to start having them as their wedding songs. I'm so excited to possibly go to a wedding where they use Firehouse as the first song. Dude, I'm looking in your direction for this. I'm sure we can convince Beth that Brad and Angela used it as their wedding song.

Gummo!!!!

I've been watching some fucked up movies recently, which reminded me of a movie I saw about 6 years ago that tops them all. When I used to live with Currier, and he was getting all artsy on me, he made me watch a movie from the guy that did Kids called Gummo. I remember watching this movie in stunned silence by myself and then not really being able to discuss it with Currier since we both thought it was so fucked up. It is definitely worth a watch if you have about 2 hours to waste.

Monday's Golf Update

Well, a disappointing day on Monday in the 36-hole US Publinks Qualifier. Thanks to Derek for an excellent job of caddieing (and believe me, he really didn't have any help from the other caddies in the group. One was an 18-year old girl, the neighbor of the golfer's brother; the other was a college buddy of the golfer, who seemed to be there to crack jokes.)

It started off OK, with two pars on two kind of easy holes; after bogeys on 3 and 4, I went to the 5th tee, a severe dogleg left of 400 yds, downhills. You can't miss left because there are trees all down the left side. I get on the tee, decide to get a bit greedy. I pull the ball left dead into the trees.

The trees were a hazard, so I got to drop in the rough with a fairly favorable angle down the fairway. "OK, just draw this 5 wood around; you can get it down there to about 60 yards; maybe you can get out with a 5!" Well, I pulled it again into the woods. Another penality.

Another drop, a pitchout, a wedge, 2 putts for an 8... and my tournament is over on the 5th holes of 36. Really - being +6 after 5 in a tourney where you need to shoot +2 or +3 over 36 is not good.

So after a couple holes to calm down and accept that, I lightened up and started to make fun of this guy in our group. His scorecard, through 9 holes:
Par 445 345 434 - 36
His score 656 659 846 - 55
Oh my. And yes, we were setting lines on whether he was going to quit after 9 or 18; I then hit a punch shot (that had to stay low under some branches) from 120 yards; I tried too hard to keep it low and topped it into the water. Yes, the gooch lives.

I ended up shooting 85 in the morning - 46-39. Idiot playing partner shot 98. Yes, a NINETY EIGHT! Wow. After his 7th 3-(or more) putt on 16, he went up to the hole, bent down, and from a foot away, flipped off the hole. I think I let out a little giggle at that point.

In the afternoon, I hit the ball a little better - but I missed three greens with 9-irons or less. I did avoid the big number, and shot 77 with three birdies.

Derek set the over-under for the idiot's afternoon round at 91; there is a little controversy surrounding that bet. The scorer for the idiot (me) had him making a 6 on the 9th hole; he said he made 5. We discussed this in the scoring tent at the end. I gave in since it really didn't F*N matter.

The scary thing is, if he truly made 6 on the hole, that would have gave him a total of....91 for the round. Wow, Derek, you should apply for a job in Vegas solely on this story alone.

He really got on my case inthe afternoon. He was constantly lining up his putts, backing away, looking at the line, and then adjusting (and re-adjusting) the line on the ball while it was on the green. I mean, this is ok once, but if this is your 3rd putt for a triple on the 31st hole of a tournament where you are +28, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
(you think I exaggerate, but I am not.)

The third guy in our group was a schoolteacher and a great golfer; he shot 76 in the morning and hit the ball superb in the afternoon; however, he missed at least 7 putts of under 15' and ended up shooting 73. He missed qualifying by 2 strokes.

Stats from the round:
Rd 1 Rd 2
Score 85 77
Fwy 5 7
GIR 8 8
Putts 34 29
Up & Down 4/8 4/11 (!?)
Others 2 1

Wow. It's clear I really need improvement on the irons. Went to the range to figure it out today. The 4/11 up and down rate in round 2 shocked me. I didn't think it was nearly that bad.

Oh well. My 85-77=162 lost to Don's 80-81=161. Full results and photos (Don and I are on page 2; I am the last 2 pictures of that page; the "idiot" I mention above is right next to me in fashionable cargo shorts) are found here.Don has some good stories from his group; I'll let him tell them in the comments section. Two of the subjects:
- "68 and change"
- how NOT to drop a ball in a tournament.

Next tournament: next week, the Cincinnati city championship. 36 holes (over 2 days) to qualify for a 64-person field for matchplay. Results to be found at gcga.org . Don will be playing as well.

All nighter at O'Hare

I had a long post about this weekend at Eric's house, but I decided that I should probably make some comments about my all nighter (in progress) at Chicago's O'Hare Airport thanks again in part to United. Now I won't totally bash United since they gave me an out and I decided to gamble, hoping that I could make my connection to LA, but I was roughly 15 minutes late. Now its 11:20pm and I have to wait until 6:00am to ride standby to LA. I need to somehow get on that flight so that I can get to LA, drive about 2 hours south in morning traffic to get changed and then drive back up to LA by Noon for my diversity job fair. Ugh. Here are some comments and tips to make your all night stay in an airport a little more comfortable.

• The underground walkway between terminal C-B is such a waste of money. I think that I'm the only person that enjoys this, since I'm always getting pushed to the side as I'm trying to enjoy all the different colors. I guess nobody likes flashing neon anymore except for me and the local retards?
• Seating. It seems as if there is an arm rest every two seats in all United Terminals. This makes it almost impossible to get comfortable while trying to lay down. And to make matters worse, I walked close to 10 miles today carrying Eric's bag, so my legs are so tight right now that I just can't get comfortable. And don't get me started about the chaffing.
• Cleanliness: Try changing clothes in a bathroom stall here. It was probably the most disturbing things that I have done. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow morning when I need to brush my teeth.
• Cots: They told me that they had cots for us to sleep on at Terminal 2. Hmmm that's strange, then why do I see all these people sleeping on the floor everywhere else. So I decided to check it out. They forgot to say that its actually a homeless center and its not owned by United, but the city. I'll pass.
• CNN TV: Wouldn't be so bad if they would change it off of Headline News. I can't believe I'm saying this, but please turn on Anderson Cooper or Larry!!!!!!!
• I have not seen a girl over the rating of 3 in the past 2 hours. The closest I've gotten was a decent cleaning lady who vacuumed my bed who had 4 teeth.
• Everything shuts down early here. Not too sure why since there has to be close to 1000 stranded people here. Even Hudson News is closed.
• 36 holes of golf and no shower. Nothing that some Gillette lotion and Degree deodorant can't solve. I've fallen in love with Degree since it smells like gingerbread cookies. I like my pits to smell like cookies, don't you?
• OK, onto some comments from this weekend:

1. While trying to post in the car while going to golf, Eric peeked over and saw that I was trying to find an image on Yahoo. "What does that say? Devil Children?" Umm.. yes.
2. I figured out why I have so many problems visiting Eric and the kids. Its because I try and hang out with both the kids and Eric too much. For example, Freddie wakes me up at 6:00am to play, after I went to bed at 2:00am the night before hanging out with Eric. I can't function like that. Eric gets to wake up late, while I'm downstairs playing soccer, legos, and making breakfast. Yes Eric I know the breakfast consisted of Apple Jacks and chocolate and peanut butter rice cakes, but it was still breakfast.
3. Some assholes hit up on us (a chip shot, not a crushed 3 wood on a par 5) while playing golf on Saturday. I had a few words in the clubhouse for the two college kids that did this, which resulted in Eric yelling "Stop it Freddie". Freddie? Eric's response was that Freddie's name comes just so natural to him when he is yelling at someone that its hard for him not to yell it.
4. Only had a club chucked at me twice and the water bottle once during Eric's 36 holes. Not too bad. I'm not going to ruin anything, but when I started to laugh at him and telling him that this was perfect fodder for the blog, he wasn't too pleased. I think he responded with a "Write whatever the fuck you want" and then stormed off.
5. It is so much fun watching Eric get pissed at another golfer. Those looks and snide comments are killer.
6. Settings odds on the one guy in our group on when he would withdraw sent out some very bad karma. I had -300 after nine, -1000 after 18 and off the board anytime during the second 18. With Eric cackling during the entire bit, and with me stating that we shouldn't be discussing it since it would be such bad karma, Eric puts one in the water...Which was about 8 feet in front of him....With a pitching wedge...in which he put up a 7 to end the round. Wow, let this be a lesson to all of you.
7. I was a sight to see out there today at the course. I would of made all the pros proud. I didn't get any help from the other caddies and I didn't miss a beat. Raked all the bunkers (6), pulled all but 2 pins, cleaned all the clubs, and only had one mishap when Eric's bag broke. Yes, I had to go without the main strap to his bag for the last 12 holes. And I didn't even complain about it.
8. Eric runs a crooked craps table. Don't go there to gamble.
9. Eric's wife Janice is a fabulous cook. Tell her thank you again Eric. Shark, Pork Chops, Risoto, Grilled Veggies and Fruit (very good), and that ice cream cone she made me on Sunday night. Mmmmmm.
10. Had some serious conversations about marriage and kids with Eric and Janice. Looks like I just need to get Janice and mom's final approval asap.

OK, I'm done for now. I'm fading fast and my bed seems to be calling me. Will update you on how the rest of the night goes.

Don sucks.

I used to like Don. But now I hate him. Why? Because he is some crazy World Cup handicapper. May all his teams lose in the first round. Good day.

Weekend in Ohio

Nothing really to say about this except that it made me chuckle. Off to go see Eric and try to whip him into shape. Its been too long and he has become soft. "Oh, I shot an 86 and I'm happy." Oh boy this should be fun. I hope there is a random chair out on the course so I can chuck it across the green when Eric 3 putts for a bogie, just to uphold my Bobby Knight image. Don, I'll see you at Eric's craps table on Saturday evening. Maybe Eric will have enough balls to actually bank the table. Or maybe I will?????? Anyway, I'll probably post a running diary of our golf match with Don and his caddie as well as the festivities that evening. I really don't know if there is anything more enjoyable to watch than seeing Eric drunk and gambling at his own private craps table.

Golf update

Had the first big tournament this week - the state Mid-Am. Some of you may have noticed that I ballooned to an 86 in the first round. I regained some dignity with a 77 in the 2nd round, and jumped 30 places or so to a tie for 61st.

The course was set up tough - the greens were running at 11 on the stimp; the fairways were tight and the rough, while not at US Open proportions, was penal. In some cases, I was 5 yards off the fairway and had to use a 7 iron to advance the ball.

I'm trying to figure out what happened in the first round- I did seem a bit jittery and tense; it doesn't help that I'm trying to make some minor changes in the swing. Add the swing changes to a tournament atmosphere and the tightness of the course, and that's a disaster.

The stats did improve for the second round, however:

Rd 1 Rd 2
Fwys hit 6 9
GIR 7 8
Putts 36 31
Up and downs 2/9 5/9
"others" 2 0

I also feel good since I left some strokes out there - I bogeyed 3 of the easiest holes out there (3 holes that I parred during the 86!) and had a 3-putt. And - only 8 players in the field (state amateurs over 25 years old) broke 75 that day.

So I feel like that round was a step forward. Derek "Bobby Knight" Zahn thinks different, and has said the score is unacceptable. He'll whip me into shape this weekend when he caddies at the US Publinks qualifier on Monday. Rain may be in the forecast, so it will be a fun day of me throwing clubs, towels and umbrellas at Derek to see if he can juggle all of that and keep it all dry.

What is a "bogey train"?

Golfers know what is meant by getting on the "bogey train" - you've had multiple bogeys in a row and can't seem to make a par to stop the bleeding.

Well, what is the definition of a bogey train? Don came up with the following guidelines...

1 bogey - you have a ticket for the train
2 bogies - you have boarded the train and the whistle is sounding
3 bogies - the train is moving; it has left the station

Any suggestions on what the rest of the sequence should represent?

Tiger has started the day by owning a ticket, boarding the train and now he's on route to Montpelier.

The Beach

Crazy shit went down during the last two days at my beach. Yes, my beach. I own it.

Tuesday Evening: 7:00pm: I went for a nice long slow run down at the beach. Felt really good starting out and at the 2.5 mile mark of the run, right as I was about to turn around and come back, I suddenly had to puke. Not too sure why since I wasn't tired or sick, but it was something that came on me in a span of like 10 seconds. I had no time to run to the bathroom or try to dig a hole in the sand. So I just bent over and let it loose. Just such a nice scene for that one young couple walking my way, probably on their honeymoon trying to enjoy the beach during the sunset. And it was a loud puke since I dry heaved about 5 times before anything came out since I had only eaten some toast and a yogurt before my run. Ugh.

Wedensday Evening 7:00pm: Had a long day at work so I decided to take a long walk down at the beach, talk to Ariel, and smoke a nice cigar that one of my supervisors gave me last week. I ended up taking Ben's Ipod with me just in case my phone died so I had something to listen to while I walked. When I got down to the beach, the water looked so nice, I decided to go in up to my knees while talking to Ariel, so I put the Ipod in my shoes, placed them in the sand, and started to walk in. I was standing there in the surf for about 10 minutes when I got blindsided by what seems to of been a 4 foot rouge wave. After I quickly recover, I see that this wave is easily going to engulf my shoes and Ben's Ipod. While still talking to Ariel, I make a 20 yard sprint to the shoes, rescuing the Ipod, but dropping the phone and lossing my other shoe. And to top it off I sort of slipped trying to reach for the phone as it fell and now I'm caked in sand. In normal Derek style, I call Ariel back and then decided to finish my cigar while lying in the sand and spread out like one of those Playboy models. Once again there were plenty of couples walking around to see this display, and now I could tell that they were all judging me on my decision to lay around in the sand. Fuck em.

8:00pm: I get a call from Lee as I'm walking up a little dirt trail to get up to the main trail that takes me back to my place. As I get to the top of the little trail, I see a what looks like a house cat walking my way, but I really can't tell since its getting dark. As it get closer, it doesn't look like a normal cat. And then it comes right up to me and stops and just stares at me. Classic Mexican Standoff. Yes, a little pee came out since I was scared shitless and for once nobody was around to either help or give advice. This thing doesn't have any tags on it and it looks exactly like the picture above. Come to find out it is a Margay, which is native to Central and South America and tends to be extremely popular in the US as an exotic pet. After the cat made me his bitch, it went on its way walking up the trail and I ran like a little school girl home, never to leave my couch again.

World Cup Draft Pool-Update

Here are the updated standings after the first round of games.

J J

Well, the news of the day takes the sting out of the 86 I put on the board today. I never thought that I would have to worry about last place in a 115-man tournament...and I don't! I'm in the top 100!

Anyway, I bet we've all heard about J J by now. Here is his mug shot:














I'll let the commenters on Deadspin provide the numerous one-liners:

Those zimas will f you up...

"And with the 4th pick in the 2006 draft, the Portland TrailBlazers select..."

By the way, are they sure he was drunk? It's hard to control the wheel when Dick Vitale is servicing you.

My heart full of woe.
My liver full of schnapps.
Good-bye, upside.
(in reference to J J's poetry - a J J Haiku)

I heard that instead of blowing a .121 or .150 like most drunk drivers do, JJ instead blew 2 to 5 cops.

This is going to kill his WNBA stock.

It absolutely could not have happened to a better person...except for Joe Buck.

Rumor has it he was arrested by Officer Exree Hipp and his partner Walt Williams.


OK - enough for now!

Two new places for me to get fat in....

Chipotle and Wings To Go are just about finished with their new store fronts right next to my office, which has me so giddy. I actually drove by there today just to check out how the construction was progressing. Chipotle has tables and chairs already in there, while Wings To Go seems to be falling behind since it seems as if they are still working on their counter area. Thought you all should know. I haven't been this excited about food since Dunkin Donuts released their sausage egg and cheese croissants.

Oh, and fuck JJ Redick. I'm sure the media will give him a pass and probably blame Terp fans for driving him to drink and drive.