Back "home"

Well, here we are - back "home" in China after a 5 week visit to the US. It was great to see as many people as I could...thanks to all for your hospitality and time if we were able to see you during our visit. 

The visit this year was both too short and too long. It's tough to be away from your routine and your "home" for 5 weeks. By the end of the 3rd week, I think most of us were ready to head back. It's a little scary to realize that homesickness for the US is less and less each year.

Some random notes from the trip:

- As usual, I overdid it with the food. I think I gained 8-10 pounds on the trip. It puts a whole new perspective on the obesity situation in the US. If you don't cook - which we didn't - you eat out a lot; and if you are poor, then you eat out a lot at fast food joints. Well, with only 3 weeks of mostly fast food in me, I gained the 8-10 pounds. Imagine living a year or two like that.......(I know, I know, you will all tell me to go watch "Super Size Me").....

- But damn, that whole large LaRosa's pizza that I ate while watching the US Open was good.....

- Why did I enthusiastically agree to play from the black tees at Belterra for my first round back?

- Went to 3 Reds games with the boys; got an autograph from Ubaldo Jimenez - and the Reds won all 3 (one, unfortunately, was against the Tribe). In fact, we were 3-for-3 in the LaRosa's promotion; if the Reds have 11 or more strikeouts in a game, everyone gets a small pizza and ice cream cone! All three games were a winner.

- Is there anything more innocently joyous than boys ages 8-12 at a baseball game?

- Warren won the Crooked Tree club championship for 8-9 year olds in a scorecard playoff! he continues the tradition of Zahns winning playoffs......

- When I am the second fastest golfer in a tournament round, that's not good news. I think Craig clocked our group for the 2nd round of the Vineyard classic as being 1:02 behind his group.....

- Ants and ground floor apartments......ah yes, two things that go together.

- Columbus-made Buckeye vodka....wow....Don, how can I get that in China?

- Actually made it to church one Sunday morning. Recognized maybe 10% of the people there.

- What a wonderful week in Kansas City with Derek, Carol and everyone. It was God-awful hot, but we made up for it by visiting the casino twice in the trip. Crapless craps is addictive!
I'll give you two guesses on what my first roll was at the crapless craps table.....of course, a 12.
The next time I rolled, my point was 2.....and Derek put 5x odds on me.....and I hit it. At 6-1 odds, he celebrated by carrying me across the casino.

- Bought a new driver (after going to the swing monitor). I am on my own with it now after leaving all my old "new" drivers at Don's place before we left.

- The pars I made on 7, 8 and 9 at Apple Valley (to win plenty of wagers against Mer) will go down in history. To recap:
7: 240 yard par 3; blow a 3 wood 45 yards left of the green. Par.
8: 420 yard par 4: blow a drive way right; I'm not even on the green in 3. Par.
9: 370 yard par 4: blow a drive into the trees left, chip out; Par.
Steve was with us and he was rolling after each successive miracle.

- The trip ended badly with Freddie having to go to urgent care 2 days before the trip home because he cut open his leg in a bed-jumping incident. He has 11 stitches in his leg now, which will be taken out by the fine doctors here in China.

- One of my last tasks was to run around Northern Kentucky trying to find water balloon pumps similar to the one seen at the Hershey's at their party......I found them in a clearance rask at the Florence Walgreens; They are now in a plastic bin awaiting to be shipped to Guangzhou by another P&G family that is coming this fall.......

- And on my last stop at Barnes and Noble, I saw that the 2012 NFL Record/Fact book was released. That's good bathroom reading for the next 2 months.

Jet lag and Prime Time Golf

Let's just say the two don't match.

I was all excited for the British Open, since it would be the 2nd major in a row that I could watch golf in prime time. The leaders would tee off around 9:30pm Sunday night, and I can watch as much as I want...if it's boring, I would go to bed; if it is exciting, the adrenalin would keep me up.....

But I forgot to take into account the jet lag factor.

We landed back here in China Wed night (more on that later); and the first day (Thursday) was not so bad. Friday was rough; Saturday was a little better. However, Janice nor I are sleeping through the night yet, and the whole house is all tired out around 8 am. (I was awoken by Martin at 6 am Friday as he said "Daddy -the sun is shining! It's time to be awake!" after being up from 1-4 am).

Anyway, so I started the slingbox at 8 pm (8 am Eastern) and watched the early coverage. The boys were all ready for bed, and Martin fell asleep watching Bugs Bunny at 8:10. Perfect! The boys were in bed at 8:30, and Janice was done for the night. But then exhaustion started to creep in for me......

So I decided to bring the pillows out to the couch and set up shop; I turned out all the lights and started watching. I think, around 8:45, I remember thinking "well, now would a perfect time for a quick nap....."

......

I did awake around 10:30 or so, with the leaders on the 4th hole. I checked my phone, Scott still leading, tiger at -6.....and then the TV showed Tiger at -3. What?

But I was still too drowsy....I'll just shut my eyes and listen.....

........

........

Next thing I know, it's 2:30 am. Oh crap, I slept through it all. I felt refreshed, I checked my phone - WHAT THE HELL????

So then I spent the next hour watching highlights on the web. An epic collapse and I missed it.

By the way - on one more golf note - did you see the list of characters that entered into the PGA Tour event this week? This is the event that is opposite the British and usually has the worst field of the year.

The players scattered at the bottom of the board is like a who's-who of one-tournament winners from the 80s and 90s. Here were some of the actual entrants this week:

Mark Carnevale
Morris Hatalsky
Jim McGovern
Fulton Allem
Jim Gallagher Jr.
Blaine McAllister
John Inman
Robin Freeman
Ted Tryba

Wow. Those are some names from the vault. I wonder what Jim Benepe and Mike Nicolette are doing these days?

How could this happen? I am shocked

News from our part of the world:

Guangdong on alert after Hong Kong bird flu case

The key part, from another article:

The boy, who lives with his parents and maternal grandmother in the Haizhu district of Guangzhou, had visited a wet market on Nanyuan Street in mid May where his mother had bought a live duck.

Ah yes.We live in the Haizhu district, and I think that market is about a mile and a half down the street.

One of the consulate guys in our building was shocked - shocked! - that it can happen here. "With the public urination, heat, trash piliing up in the trash cans, and everyone spitting - it's hard to believe this can happen!!"

/sarcasm off

Ready for a break

In less than two weeks, we will be heading back to the US for the summer. We'll all be there for about 5 weeks, getting our fill of fast food, seeing friends and family (and many gambling tables?), refilling our medicine cabinet and playing golf for less than $120 a round.

It's definitely time for a break to get back to the US culture for a bit. The way of life here is wearing on me. I'm starting to get more depressed and having less fun. There are many little things that I am getting sick and tired of here........

I'm getting sick and tired of:
- our apartment (pt.1). It is 90% Chinese, and there are no Western boys above the age of 5. So Freddie and Warren don't have any friends here in the complex. On the random days off, they stay at home, play video games, read for a bit and fight with each other. We have to organize sessions to get together with their friends. It's not how I envision the boys growing up.
- our apartment, pt. 2. I hate getting woken up at 4 am by some college student screaming on the riverwalk outside.
- the cockroach season that never ends
- the swimming pool here with the random rules. The pool closes from 11:30 to 3:30 every day - because it is "too hot at the pool". Also, they tell us we can't swim when it just finished raining, when the week before, they would have let us swim in lightning and thunder.
- random answers, in general. Our piano teacher called us to say she will be late for the lesson (on Sat afternoon, when we have plans Sat night) because "it's raining too hard". Huh?
- elevator etiquette, or lack thereof. If you are in the elevator trying to get out at your floor, look out first -since the crowd is coming in. I'm starting to barrel people over now getting out - maybe that will teach them to wait before entering the elevator
- the car situation. We are having issues with our driver - and that just makes it a nuisance for everyone.
- the constant planning every day for transportation. I can't just leave work, drive home, pick up Martin and go to the doctor. Doesn't work like that.
- our apartment, pt 3. The regular doorman ALWAYS tries to strike up a conversation with me ..... when he knows damn well I can't understand anything he says. And I think he is hitting on Janice.....
- not being able to watch sporting events live with the kids. I'm getting depressed at this. We can't watch the Masters together, or a baseball game, or root against LeBron together...... We will be going to at least 3 Reds games over the summer to make up for it.
- the youth baseball league. I am the coach of both teams - and it's painful. I can't communicate with 20% of the kids. 20% of the other kids will show up 30 minutes late (for a 1 hour game). I have to explain to parents why their kids can't just step on third when a ground ball is hit when runners are on 1st and 2nd. Kids backing away from pop flies - at AGE 11. Kids wandering off the base after reaching the base safely - then get tagged out. I expect this at T-ball, not in 8-9 or 10-12.
- the caddies at the golf course. The next caddie to speak - as I am about to bring the putter back- and say "uphill" will get my Odyssey shoved down his/her throat. (I do kind of appreciate the bluntness, however. I hit a bad shot; I look hopefully at the caddie. "Is it OK?" The response: "No. OB." )
- Martin's skin, which looks like he has "leg measles" because of all the mosquito bites. I expect this to clear up after being in the US for 3 days.
- our apartment, pt 4. I hate the closeness of apartment living. I hate it. The TV can be heard everywhere. After being in a house since 1996 (wow), living 2 years in an apartment is hell.  And I really don't like the fact that the boys don't have their own room.

There's a lot of good things about living over here. Work is good and busy. As many of you can guess, I'd rather be here than in Cincinnati right now from a career environment standpoint.

But the newness has worn off. The first 4-6 months were horrible with the transition (mushrooms, anyone?). The next 9-12 months were an adventure - and for the most part, was fun. Now - it's a drag, a chore.

I know many of you are thinking "suck it up - stop trying to live the American life in China and live like a true Chinese person". Well, I did my time, and it was fun/entertaining for a while. But I'm done with it.

When we come back here after the summer, we will be moving within the city to an expat compound where we will have a house. A four bedroom house. We will be a little farther from work, yes. But there will be western kids for the boys to run around with, some privacy, some space, and people who speak English. Yes, a good bit of suburbia in China. And you know what? I'm not guilty about it at all. I - we - deserve it.

Golfing is illegal in parks

Warren's third grade class is doing a study on "Work and Leisure" - how people spend their time working and how they spend it relaxing. I was going to go into the class and show them how I relax now - by playing on my iPhone for 45 minutes straight - but I decided against it.

I opted instead to take the kids golfing. There is a park across the street from the school - and there was an area about 30 yards wide by 80-90 yards long, unblocked by trees, that would be an ideal mini driving range.

At 8:20 in the morning, the teacher, 20 3rd graders, and I headed over to the park with some kids clubs and 30-odd real golf balls.

I split them up in groups of 5; the first five would come up, hit 5 balls, then run out and collect them for the next group of 5, and so on. A perfect way to spend 50 minutes or so!

(I decided to kick things off with a Bob Barker-like inspiration swing. See, kids, here is how it's done. I wanted to impress them with my 60 degree wedge and hitting a high, full wedge that landed softly on the ground 75 yards away. I would get so many ooohs and aaaahs.......

....alas, it rained the night before, and I was wearing sandals, not my golf shoes. On the downswing, my right foot slipped, and I made contact with the middle of the golf ball - a pure skull. The ball went 110 yards on a low line......the kids, of course, were still impressed.)

The first group of kids finished hitting their balls when a 50 year old Chinese man came up to me and started talking to me very seriously in Mandarin. I understood nothing, so I did the next best thing. I called the teacher.

She came over - and her Mandarin was no better. "I don't know what he is saying ,either". Deep down, I kind of knew, but I could play the dumb foreigner for a while.

Then a student in the class started to translate. "He said that they will be working on the grass later today - and so he needs you to be off the grass for that work".

Um, ok. We told him "10 minutes" - and after about 45 more seconds of discussion, he was fine with hat.

The second group of kids started hitting - and we barely got into that session when another man, a bit older, came running over. He was now yelling - again, in Mandarin.

"Gaylene! Come back over here!" The teacher and the 9 year old translator joined us.

"He wants us to leave now. You can not do this at the park. You are hurting the grass. " This man seemed to be the supervisor of the first guy that approached us. What's this guy's title, the "Superintendent of the Park"? If so, then what is the first guy's job?

5 more minutes? I asked.

The man yelled even more. "No, we have to leave now, He says you are killing the grass".

Well, not wanting to cause any more of a scene, we packed up and left. They stared at us until we crossed the street heading back to the school.

"The Whitest person in Guangzhou"

We were invited to a theme party this weekend - a "rock star" birthday party where we were encourraged to dress up as rock stars. As all of you probably know, I have zero hard-rocker gear, and I can't really pass as a hippie.....

....so, I found some odds and ends around here and the local markets - Martin's NY Knicks hat, some awful sunglasses and a 35 RMB chain - and tried to pull off the Vanilla Ice look.

As my friend Scott said, "only the whitest person in Guangzhou could pull that off - and it looks like you did!" I'll take that as a compliment. (although maybe white rappers don't actually smile....).   It's too bad you can't see the high tops I was wearing (or Janice's leggings).....

Americans = Jon Arbuckle?

The offices at work are all cubiucles - no one has a "personal" office. All of P&G has gone to cubicles for some time now. However, there is a lack of "huddle rooms" in the office at Guangzhou. Many people hog the huddle rooms for any conference calls they are on - and there is a serious shortage of the huddle rooms availability throughout the week.

The site facility owners have determined that a key root cause for the shortage is that many people are using it by themselves for their call; they will tie up a room for just one person. They want to discourage this behavior - so politce notices have been appearing in each room.

Here is the notice. I always get a kick out of the illustration of the guys - it looks like they found a copy of "Garfield" and think that all Americans look like Garfield's owner. The only way you can tell the characters apart is by the color of their shirt.

I love the first panel - what exactly is the guy in green looking at?

T-shirts from this week

Actual T-shirts on the natives that I saw this week:

------------------------------
"Enjoy Summer in Miami"
-----------------------
(for Steve):
"Don't be mad at me
When I'm mad at you"
------------------------------
"Awesome
Want
Bizarre
Must!"
---------------------------------
(seen on a 50 year old woman):
"No time to rest
Dance all night!"

Scaring the help

I stayed home in the morning on Tuesday ( Mon night US time) to watch the Caps-Rangers game 5. I missed Game 3 (the 3 OT game) but saw most of game 4. I decided to treat myself and play hooky from work for 3 hours to watch the pivotal game 5 starting at 7:30 in the morning.

Our nanny (called "ayi" in China) comes around 7:30 - so she arrived just before tipoff. She, of course, has no experience with me watching sports, since all the NFL games are on in the very early morning.

The Rangers first goal in the first period was cause from some (but not too many) loud obscenities. She was in the other room and seemed to hide in there for a while.

Then the Caps scored to tie it - and then take the lead. Yes, there was dancing and whooping it up. At that point, I think she figured out she needed to stay away from me.

I can only imagine what she thought when the Rangers scored the tying goal with 06.6 left.

I left for work after that - I didn't need to see the overtime.

I will be golfing on Sunday morning, and will try to catch the replay of game 7 later that afternoon. No live updates please!

It's Friday Math time!

It's time for some math exercises! For our class today, we will use Chinese real estate prices. This is to give you an idea of the real estate costs here in Guangzhou.

Here is a picture of the outside of a real estate agency. It looks like a big punch-a-bunch board from "Price Is Right". Each paper is one property. The units are in square meters and in RMB. The symbol next to the red number is "wan", and represents 10,000.

So, let's take a look at the first column,second row. It says
183 m2
580 wan

So that's 183 m2, and there are about 10 sq ft in a sq meter. 1830 sq foot.
580 wan = 580*10000 RMB = 5.8 million RMB, and at 6.3 RMB per $1, that's about $920,000.

You can see how much 100 sq meter apartments go for here.

But how much to rent? Well, here are some prices for monthly rentals.

The prices in the left and center section here are the rental prices.
So - in the center section, bottom left, you see:

35 m2
2300

That's a rental for a 350 sq ft apartment for about $375/month.

The language barrier

One unexpected barrier - or, I guess, an inconveinence - is the language barrier at work. It's not my lack of speaking Mandarin that's the problem.....well, yes, it is a problem, but that's not unexpected. It's the way the Chinese employees speak English - and how they try to speak English at work - that is an issue. And it's very subtle.

They say things that mean nothing to them but mean a whole lot to native speakers. For instance, I was trying to stress a point in a meeting that the team needs to stay on top of the machine performance shiftly. They need to make sure they analyze the reports and come up with a  daily action plan.

You need to know the shiftly efficiency. I asked in an examinatory tone: "What was it last night?"

They paused...." I think it was 82%"

I jumped on that. "You think? No....you need to know. You need to know this and take action".

"I know it!" they protested. "I think it is 82%!"

"Do you know it, or do you think it is?". That distinction was lost on them. Clearly, they thought it was the same, where the statement "think" expresses doubt, to me.

In another meeting, we were talking about tests that need to be run on the new line. I saw that the schedule said the test would be run later this afternoon.

It was 12:30, right after lunch, where we started our meeting but the technincians were still on break. I brought up the test we were planning to run.

" I see this test is in the schedule. Are we planning to run it today?"

"Yes!" was the answer.

Great.....when will we run it?

"We will run it now!" was the response.

Um, now?

"Yes, we run it now".

But the line is not running now........

"Yes, I know, we will run it today"

But when today?

"We are running it now."

BUT IT IS NOT RUNNING NOW! THE LINE IS DOWN!

The response? "What do you want us to do? The technicians are on break! They have to have lunch! That's why the line is down!"


There is no concept of "now" to them. It is perfectly acceptable for them to say, on a fall Sunday at 11 am Eastern, that the Browns are playing "now". Now, in general, means today. There is no real word for "at this instant".

It's little things like this that drive me crazy, bit by bit. Thank God we are coming back to the US in about 5 weeks......

Just my luck

Two Fridays ago, Freddie had an event at school in the late morning, so I decided to stay home until 10 and then head to his school. Lucky for me, that was a Thursday night back in the US - and it was Game 3 (I think) of the Caps-Bruins! After putting the kids on the bus at 7:30 am (7:30 pm), I got back to the apartment for faceoff....

30 minutes later, there was rumbling outside as a storm was approaching. A big storm. Black clouds surrounding 50% of the sky.

These storms that we are having this spring can be pretty intimidating. Here is a photo from our apartment at 8 in the morning.

Unfortunately, this storm knocked out our satellite reception for 1 1/2 hours, and I missed most of the first and second period. So my plan to watch the game was foiled......

Random Pictures

Some random pictures to make your day.....

1. A sign on the golf course on the edge of the rough. Careful! You don't want the McArctic Blast to get you!

2. There's water you drink at home....but when you need to get down to business, you need business water. (Love the logo.......it's like having a PBR at work!)

3. This is a picture from an airport store in the Shanghai Airport. The Chinese love their cigarettes....I heard that the state-run cigarette industry has bigger sales that Wal-Mart does worldwide. Anyway, click to get a closer look at the name of this airport store........I wish the US Airports just gave up the charade and are as honest as the Chinese Airports.....

Sunday golf

China golf is similar to American golf in one respect - when you get to a par 3 in the middle of a round, there is a 3 group backup on the tee!

While waiting, our cart was parked in prime position to film the tee shots of the golfers. The hole is a 150 yard par 3 island green!

So channel your inner Gary McCord and create your own analysis of 3 random Chinese golfers.

Guangzhou Beer Garden

Oh, the 40th birthday party that I talked about below was held in a German Beer Garden restaurant. Yes, they tried to make it authentic. (Yes, the bratwurst and the sauerkraut was delicious!). And yes, they even made the Chinese waitresses dress up in the beer garden outifts. I don't know why this cracked me up, but the sheer incongruity of these outfits is hilarious to me.

80s Fashion is Global!

I went to a surprise 40th birthday party this past weekend for one of my friends at work. He is a Phillipine citizen, and moved to China about 4 years ago. His parents came into town from Manila, and his parents with his sons (their grandsons) made a real nice Power Point presentation showing pictures from my friend's life.

Of course, they started with the baby pictures...and then moved to high school. In the high school pictures, we saw multiple photos of my friend wearing:
- Members Only jackets
- Acid-washed jeans
- Levi's "Button Your Fly" t-shirts

It amazed me that the American late- 80s culture permeated worldwide at the same time - so the kids in the Phillipines were wearing the same stuff I was (and we all were) in 1989.

Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" for the NFL Draft

We're two weeks away from Browns' fans best time of the year - the NFL Draft! I admit, I am not much of a draftnik...I have no idea who we may take after the 1st round. However, it is fun to reminisce about past picks and the trivial decisions that other team's make that have a tremendous effect on other franchise's futures.....

I can't believe I forgot this 100% true story from 1995. In 1994, we went 11-5 and lost the division to Pittsburgh; we won a home playoff game vs. the Pats (the last playoff game in Cleveland). Somehow, we had the 10th pick in the draft due to a trade. Belicheck had his eyes set on a tight end from the northeast that will fill a big hole in the offense. With Vinny, Michael Jackson, Leroy Hoard, and this new TE, we would win the AFC Central in 1995 and beyond!

All was going to plan through the first 8 picks; our TE was still on the board. The Jets had the 9th pick. With Warren Sapp still available, the Jets had to take him, right?

 Click here to see who they took, at the 1:19 mark

Well, Belicheck was infuriated. They took our pick! He "threw the phones across the room", accorind to Tony Grossi of the Plain Dealer.

There seemed to be no back up plan. The Browns didn't have a second player in mind, so they called around asking to trade down; they found a taker in San Francisco.

The Browns traded the 10th pick of the 1995 draft to San Fran for their 1st in 1995 (30th overall) and their 1st in 1996.

San Fran went to the podium and chose J J Stokes - who had a decent career with the 49ers.

The Browns, with the 30th pick, chose LB Craig Powell from Ohio State, who didn't amount to much.

I guess 6 years later, Belicheck didn't want a second Brady to slip away from him - so he chose Tom Brady in the 6th round in NE.

Now - for the "rest of the story" - who was chosen with San Francisco's 1st pick in 1996, given to the Browns in this trade?

The fascination never ends

Sorry for the long delay in posting (and finishing up part 4 of the blog. I know all of you were on pins and needles waiting for it). Mom and Dad have been in town for a week and a half and I have been busy playing tour guide with them over the past 9 days. Some of the activities:
- Guangzhou markets, especially the leather market;
- Beijing, and (of course)
- Macau (the Venetian).

I took the boys up to Beijing with Mom and Dad to see Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City and the Great Wall again (as they were off school). Going to Beijing during a holiday weekend means crowds - and that means tons of natives that have never seen a blond boy before......

......after this picture was taken, our female tour guide came back from buying tickets and shooed everyone away. One comment was overheard - in English - "Wow. I am surprised that the mother is Chinese......."

Back to reality

The weekend after Vegas, we met another family at a park in the city. It was a nice afternoon - throwing the baseball around, having the boys run around in the trees.....and then we sat down for a snack. We sat next to a trash can - mistake. Big mistake.

Soon a mother, carrying her 12-18 month old toddler, comes over to the trash can, and lowers her son's pants. I believe you can guess what is going on here.

At least Martin (in the picture) was oblivious to it.  I just can't get used to this part of life here.



Vegas Diary, part 4

Sat, Mar 17

After going to bed around 4, I woke up at.....11 am. That was a bit disorienting. I never do that in Vegas. Layup was still sleeping as well...After the buffet, it was time for the annual visit to the blackjack salon.

The four of us (Wiz and Ira) got there around 1 - and soon after, Leland comes in with his suitcases in tow. He's ready to move into the salon - I'm sure there are rooms in the back somewhere! Unfortunately, he was heading out - signaling the beginning of the end of the trip. Always a sad moment.
The salon experience was a good one this year, with a moderate profit. The highlight was our reenactment of a classic "WKRP in Cincinnati" episode, the one where a tornado strikes the station. In the episode, Andy Travis is injured when a window blows out; he lies motionless on one of the desks. The gang decides to get him away from the window and moves him to a desk across the room. Just as they get there and as they lay Andy down, Jennifer (Loni Anderson) cries out "You idiots, you're not supposed to move an injured person!". So the team then picks up Andy again back to the desk by the window where he originally was.

That was us in the solon. We sat down to a table that was double deck; we decided we wanted a shoe table, so we all picked up at the same time and moved to table across the room with the shoe. Drinks, chips, everything. Just as we sat down, we realized the limits were three times higher than the table we were at. Back we went, with our tails between our legs, to the original table. Some advanced scouting would have been helpful.

The gambling on the trip went downhill from there. I don't think I had a winning session after the salon. I blame Leland for the bad luck. Dinner that night was at CPK, and I finally handed out my gifts from China. I stopped at a gambling market and bought real, made-in-China, playing cards (everyone appreciated) and real,made-in-China poker chips. The chips brought a lot of "WTF" and "gee, thanks" comments from the crew.

After dinner, almost everyone left their chips on the table, so I took them upstairs back to the room. Poker chips weigh a lot, and I put them all in one plastic bag. I got to the lobby near the elevators when - pop! - the bag ripped and all the white chips came flying out of the bag onto the marble floor.

Of course, there was about 20 people around - and all of them started going after the chips. It took about a second for them to realize that these weren't Mirage chips - so they came up and return them to me. It was very embarrassing having stranger after stranger return these poker chips for a good 2 minutes in the lobby.

Oh, and the sound the chips made when they hit the floor! Wow, that was loud.

I lost a side bet to Wiz and Ira on the Murray St / Marquette game; they both took my action to aviod paying the Mirage the juice. In return for the payment, I made them sign my diary to verify the lost money to them for the wager.

After dinner, we tried our luck at craps again, as none of us could roll. Wiz even tried the reverse jinx and was opening rooting for the 7 as we rolled; no matter. None of us could make a point.

We went back to blackjack one last time that night; Ira took one last marker and almost had to demonstrate the new term he taught us; the "walk of shame". If you receive your funds but are yet to sign for them, and then run into some horrible luck and lose all those funds before the pit boss has had a chance to finish all the paperwork and get your signature, you are forced to hang around the table idle until all the papers are done and you sign for your money - the money that's already gone. Ithink he was down to his last chip before embarking on a mini-comeback to stay in the game.

But the session was not good for any of us, especially Layup. After a losing session, Layup got up to walk away with his few remaining chips when the dealer stopped him.

"Don't walk away", I think she said. I can't remember what she said after that, but it angered Layup.

Layup showed her his chips. "I'm leaving. I've had enough" he said.

The dealer was insistent that he stay and color up, or continue playing. Layup argued again that he is going to just leave.

The pit boss came over to see the mini-fuss (she was already close by); she quickly understood what was going on. Layup had his chips out to show the dealer.

The dealer said "I just want to color him up!"

Immediately, without missing a beat, the pit boss said "But he doesn't have enough chips to color!"

Wiz, Ira and I were rolling in laughter as Layup was even more infuriated.

We tried our hand at blackjack swtich one last time - and, of course, had the annual argument with the pit boss about the "soft 22" hand that the dealer has (Ace-Ace, of course). We were also properly instructed on how to signal "switch" and "split". The "switch" requires a turn of the wrist. Wiz was the first to be reprimanded.

It was about midnight at that point, and everyone headed to bed; I got up at 11 and was not at all tired, even though I was on a 5 session losing streak. I sat down and played UTH heads up vs. the dealer for about two hours. During that time, several novices sat down and tried to play. One college guy (and his buddy) sat down next to me - at a $15 UTH table - and said "I love table poker games!" and plopped a $50 down. He was confused when he had to put $30 on the table to start, not $15; he was dealt 7-2 and was gone in 30 seconds.

I still had "money" left in my advance deposit account so I withdrew the remaining amount for the last craps session. I got the funds, was in the middle of the roll when the pit boss - Olga, a 50 year old woman that reminded me of Ms. Fucile from Hereford Social Studies class - came over to my side.

This can't be good.

"Eric, I'm sorry sir, but you don't have that much in your account."

What? I take good notes ! I'm sure I have that much money left!

"No, I'm sorry, you have half of that".

Um...ok.......should I return the other half now?

"Yes, you can hand the half back in."

I tried to give her the chips.

"No, sir, put in on the table"

Um, yes, of course.

How in the hell am I supposed to roll after that ? I quickly picked up, confused, and walked over to the cage. At 2 in the morning, I asked to speak to someone in the credit office.
We went over each time I signed to withdraw and - of course - I missed one Pai Gow tiles session back on Thursday. Olga and the Mirage was right. I apologized profusely and slithered away.

I had to get a confirmation card for our goddaughter - so, at 2:30 in the morning, in 40 degree temperatures, I took the walk to Walgreens. The maintenance staff was waxing the floors and I was not allowed to enter the Hallmark aisle.

What a symbolic way to end the day.

Sun, Mar 18

Not much action on this day; I woke up and went back to the Walgreens where - believe it or not - they had "Congratulations on your Confirmation" cards. In the Las Vegas strip Walgreen's. God does exist in the center of the Sin City. I'm sure our 14 year old goddaughter got a kick out of the "Mirage, Las vegas NV" postmark on the card.

After breakfast, Layup and I had two more gambling sessions that continued the losing streak that started when Leland left. Got to the airport around 2:30; the flights were uneventful. I landed at 6:30 am on Tuesday - and 4 hours later I was sitting at the plant in a 3 day training workshop.

A hard jolt back to reality.