Back to Civilization?

I was fortunate enough to spend this week in the US (in Cincinnati) for the company Modeling & Simulation meetings. I spent Sunday with Layup, watching the NFL games at BW-3's for 6 hours. Having breakfast, snack, and lunch at BW-3's right off the airplane did not do good things for my stomach. It did not take all that grease kindly.

Layup is a wonderful good luck charm when watching the games. If he goes to the bathroom, it's a guarantee that something good will happen to the games we wagered on. He missed 2 Tampa Bay TDs in the can, and missed 2 Dallas TDs in the afternoon. He was also taking a piss when Romo completed the long pass in overtime.

I am finding myself becoming more Chinese, bit by bit. Some examples:
- when paying by credit card, it is now a habit for me to hand the card over with 2 hands (a very Asian custom).
- I went to McDonald's; the bill was $5.27. I didn't have a $5 or $10 bill, so I handed him a $20 and a $1. He looked at me like I was on Mars. This is standard practice in China.
- He asked if this was for here or to go. I said "it is take away" - exactly the broken English that is used everywhere in China.

I got to see my parents on Monday and Janice's brother on Wednesday - where a fully loaded duffel bag full of clothes and other goodies were waiting.

I'm heading back home tonight - and probably will see sights like those in the picture above as soon as I get in. This picture is taken on the sidewalk on the street in front of our complex.

See the man by the tree? He has picked up his son by his armpits - and, yes, those are the kid's legs dangling in the air.

And yes, the kid's pants are pulled down to his knees. I hope the dad brought some sort of toilet paper.

NFL Week 3: Casino Royale

While we were reviewing the games this week, it was apparent quickly to Layup and I that there are several "trap" games on the schedule. Trap games are those where the superior team (on paper) should easily win - but the line is set at a place where everyone thinks it's too low. This usually happens when the favorite is the road team. Most analysts and bettors quickly look at the line, scoff at it - and jumps quickly on the favorite. By Sunday afternoon, it's clear it was a trap as the bettors lick their wounds.

I don't think there is a better definition of a "trap" casino than the infamous Casino Royale. Everyone know this place - right across the street from the Mirage, proudly advertising "$5 craps with 100 x odds!" - and on weekdays the limits could be even lower! They also have Blackjack switch!

More than once in Vegas, Layup and I have been bored - so we have the great idea to go to the Casino Royale. "C'mon", we say to each other. "How much trouble can we get into there? We'll roll the dice for a while - it's a $5 table! How much can we lose, $150??"

Two hours later, we struggle back into the daylight, absolutely beatne to a pulp. "What happened? 15x odds on the point of 8 sounds like a perfect idea!"

I think my career losses at the Royale are greater than losses at other, well known Vegas casinos, like the Luxor, Aladdin, TI, and Excalibur.

It was also the start of the Blackjack Switch love affair for our group. I remember one trip going, with Wiz, Layup, me, and maybe Jay. Layup was deathly ill (as usual) and sneezed and coughed all over the cards. He was sitting right next to Wiz - and Wiz was none too happy with this. Every cough made Wiz slug Layup in the arm, tellin ghim to get his "God damn saliva off of my cards". Of course, Wiz got sick later that week. *

* - maybe I have mis-remembered some (or all?) of the details. I'm sure I will be corrected in the comments.

Anyway, I think we are done with Casino Royale trips for the foreseeable future. How long can that casino, on a prime location on the strip, still be in business?

These are tough games this week - be very careful when wagering. Don't fall into the Royale traps.

NE 34, Buf 23. I'm too lazy to go against the convention wisdom for this game here. NE will be up by 10-17 all game, and Buffalo will score late to make it closer.

Cin 24, SF 13. The Bengals are an OK offensive team. The 49ers are not - and the Bengals defense is adequate.

Ten 23, Den 13. I was surprised to see the Titans stop the Ravens last week.

Det 20, Min 17. Casino Royale Game #1! Detroit has to come back to earth sometime, right?

NO 34, Hou 27. Who has Houston played? A shell shocked Colts team, and Miami at home. They have not been tested yet.

Phi 27, NYG 16. The eagles were moving the ball even with Kafka back there at QB.

Car 27, Jax 13. I think Cam keeps it going, although this could be Casino Royale Game #2.

NYJ 23, Oak 20. Casino Royale Game #3. This will go down to the wire and be decided by a field goal.

StL 24, Bal 20. Casino Royale Game #4. The Rams are desperate and at home - and won't self destruct like they did Monday night.

SD 31, KC 13. Not much to say here. The Chiefs offense could be the equivalent of the 1999-2000 Browns offense.

GB 20, Chi 19. Casino Royale Game #5. Should be a lot closer than people think.

Arz 20, Sea 17. Casino Royale Game #6. Seattle was playing a desperate Pittsburgh team last week - now they are at home facing a weak Arizona defense.

Atl 20, TB 16. I just don;t like Tampa's M.O. of falling way behind early.

Pit 24, Ind 20. Casino Royale Game #7. Indy is improving since thir world was rocked before the season started. They still have offensive weapons - Addai, Wayne, Clark. I'm not predicting a Colts win, but I think it will be close.

Dal 24, Was 23. Dallas just is not that good.

Best bets: 17 of them. Last week: 9-4-3; overall: 18-9-5.

NE -7
Cin -2.5
Den/Ten under 42.5
Det/Min under 45
NO -4
Hou/NO over 51.5
Phi -8
Car -3
StL +4
SD -14.5
Chi +4
GB/Chi under 45.5
Az/Sea under 43
Atl +1.5
Atl/TB under 46
Ind +10
Was +4.5

This week

The picks this week:

NO -6.5
Jax +9
TB +3
Dal -3
Atl +2.5

NFL Week 2: Argosy Casino

This week, the Browns go to Indiana to play in a new, pristine stadium that has been built in the last 2 years. The old stadium was serviceable, but it doesn't have all the amenities and space that the new stadium has. However, the old stadium really had charm, noise and character; the new stadium is anitseptic.

Hey wait, I'm not talking about the RCA Dome and Lucas Oil Field - I'm talking about the old Argosy Casino and the new Hollywood Casino!

The old Argosy - wow, I have a lot of memories from there. A temporary casino in Lawrenceburg opened in 1996, I believe. When I was working for TASC, a bunch of us from Dayton amde a road trip down there. I was still playing blackjack 80% of the time - and was at a $5 table. I put $10 in the circle - big money! - and they were about to deal the cards when a co-worker of mine butted in and put 5 red chips of his in my circle.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" I blurted.
"What? I'm piggybacking"
"What does that mean? You're messing things up!!"

I got dealt and ace, then a king. Blackjack. I still was pissed at him.

Layup and I would go there at least once a year, blaring Annie Lennox from the radio as we drove down the lonely stretch of I-275 at 9 at night.
Don and I would secretly root for a rain out if we were playing in Kentucky so that we could sneak over to Lawrenceburg instead.
I successfully convinced Janice we should go for a Argosy run for my birthday in January, 2001....so we spent 3 hours at a smoky craps table......(while she was 8 months pregnant).
When I worked at Winton Hill, in the west side of Cincinnati, I actually snuck over there for "lunch" one day - left work at 11, got back around 1:30. Yes, I was by myself. Why do you ask?

And then, the intimacy, the magic, the memories are all gone. The Argosy was replaced in 2009 with the monstrosity that is the Hollywood Casino. It's huge, impersonal, and it frankly sucks. I don't win there. The atmosphere is terrible. The dealers are all new and horrid. I will purposely drive 20-30 minutes out of the way to gamble at one of the other casinos.

It's what is happening to all the NFL stadiums now (and, to an extent, all new stadiums). The character, intimacy, and feel is gone. Sports Guy hsa wrote about this - the home field advantage is less nowadays just because of the structure of the new stadiums - they don't give the advantage to the home team like they used to.

Anyway - the Browns going to Indy, and their new stadium, reminded me of Argosy for this reason...I know it's a tenuous link. Dad is actually going to the game on Sunday - I'll report what he says about the atmosphere.

On to the games: (and there's no way in hell I'm predicting anything about this Browns team)

Buf 24, Oak 17. I still am trying to figure out each of these teams.

Was 27, Az 17. My goodness, the Cardinals' secondary is horrid. Grossman and the Skins will light them up.

Bal 24, Ten 21. A classic letdown game for the Ravens.

Pit 28, Sea 10. The Seahawks are in the bottom 5 of the league. The Steelers should take their frustrations out on them.

NYJ 20, Jax 17. I refuse to believe the Jets are championship caliber.

NO 31, Chi 17. The Saints are a bit desperate - they won't go 0-2.

TB 23, Min 20. Another desperation game - this time for the Bucs.

GB 30, Car 24. I do believe that the Panthers will be able to move the ball on the Pack. They won't win, but maybe Cam is for real - at least until defensive coordinators figure him out.

Det 24, KC 14. Alarm bells! This one seems too easy.

Dal 23, SF 16. I have to thinkn that Garrett will get this team fired up after their loss on Monday. They can't afford to go 0-2 (and 2 games behind the Skins?!?!?)

NE 31, SD 27. An old fashioned shootout at Jack Murphy. Where is Charlie Jones and Todd Christensen when you need them?

Cin 20, Den 16. Not exactly a vote in the Bengals, but against the Broncos.

Mia 24, Hou 20. Another classic trap/letdown game for the Texans. They threw everything they had into week 1 vs. the Colts. A letdown is impossible to avoid.

Atl 27, Phi 24. Another desperation game - this time for Atlanta.

NYG 20, StL 13. These offenses are pretty putrid.

Best bets: 16 of them. Last week: 9-5-2 (based on the lines I listed).
Buf -3
Was -3
Bal/Ten over 38
Pit -14
Jax +8.5
NO -6.5
TB +2.5
Car +10
GB/Car over 45.5
Det -7.5
KC/Det under 44.5
Dal -3
Cin +3
Mia +3
Atl +2
Stl/NYG under 44

Off we go!

Here are F&J's week 1 SuperContest picks. Lord help us!
The entire field's picks can be found here.

TB -1.5
Min +8.5
Arz -7
NE -7
Den -3

NFL Week 1: Palace Station

Here we are again! The opening week of the NFL season. The preseason is interminable as the anticipation for the opening week begins. Next thing we know, it will be week 6 with 1/3 of the season already gone.

I love the idea of tying each week to a Casino that I have visited! So, for week 1, of course, we will review the first casino I gambled at – the wonderful Palace Station! Everyone remembers their first Vegas trip – the buildup is tremendous, the plane is full of energy, the shuttle bus ride from the airport contains 32 overweight middle-aged women hoping to hit it big at slots, and the bus driver reciting lame puns about “Lost Wages” (yes, that’s an indelible memory)….

… and the next thing you know, it’s day 2 of the trip and you are down $200. (which was a HUGE amount of money for me in 1994!)

That is very much like week 1 of the NFL season – everyone is giddy, even Chris Berman seems funny – and then your favorite team lays an egg. By Monday, you are wondering “what the hell happened to my team/picks/fantasy team?” The Monday/Tuesday after week 1 is usually such a letdown.

Let’s hope the afterglow of week 1 is better than the final day of my first Vegas trip – where I had to resort to playing BINGO at Palace Station (I think I won a pot worth $7.75) and I eventually got carded while playing the nickel slots.

Onward to the picks!

GB 23, NO 20 – yes, a cop out pick. I do believe the Saints will be better this year. We will see how the rookie Ingram does.

Bal 27, Pit 17 – I do believe in the power of desperation. If a team is desperate, they will throw everything out there in order to win that game. It’s hard to think of week 1 as desperation, but if the Ravens lose – at home – they will be 1 down to the Steelers and they still have to go to Pit. Sports Guy’s podcast threw this idea out, and it makes sense. I think the Ravens will do anything to win this game.

TB 26, Det 20 – I like Josh Freeman, and I don’t trust the Lions (do they have a RB?) yet.

Atl 23, Chi 20 – who knows. I’m afraid of the Falcons outdoors. Cutler is good for some good games, and the Falcons don’t have a great defensive team.

KC 17, Buf 16 – Tyler Palko is in. Wow. Do they really deserve to be a heavy favorite here?

Hou 27, Ind 17 – I’m staying away from each of these until we find out more from each team.

Phi 20, StL 19 – The Eagles’ O-line sucks. I would be scared if you have Vick on your fantasy team.

Ten 27, Jax 17 – I’ve seen the Luke McCown show before – 5 years ago. I don’t think he has gotten much better from his days when I proclaimed for him to be the answer in Cleveland.

Was 27, NYG 24 – Grossman is starting, and the Giants have no secondary. This seems like a good opportunity for Grossman to have a nice start to the season before a real defense comes along.

Az 27, Car 13- - I just see the Panthers as clearly the worst team in football.

SF 20, Sea 16 – no idea here. Who’s starting for the Niners?

SD 24, Min 20 – look here now. Minnesota is not that bad. They have the best RB in football. McNabb is adequate – and he’s much better than what Favre game him last year. I think this will be a close game.

Dal 23, NYJ 17 - I think Sanchez is a mediocre quarterback – and look who the Dallas D coordinator is – Rob Ryan, our D coordinator last year. Rob developed game plans against Brady, Brees and Sanchez last year – and we went 2-0-1 against them. * I think Sanchez will look a little lost at times out there.

NE 30, Mia 16 – I just don’t see how NE is threatened in this game.

Den 30, Oak 20 – I like Kyle Orton. I think he’s at least an average quarterback. And I the coach is definitely an upgrade.

Best Bets of the week:
Bal -1
Pit/Bal over 36
TB -1.5
Buf +6
Buf/KC under 40
StL +4.5
Ten +2
Ten/Jax over 37
Was +3
Was/NYG over 37.5
Az -7
Min +8.5
Dal +4.5
NE -7
Den -3
Oak/Den over 40


*we beat the Pats and the Saints last year – and if we chose to, we could have tied the Jets. However, Mangini gambled for the win instead of settling for the sure tie (a decision I agreed with) , but lost. So I count this as a tie in my book.

Just spent the last four days in Vegas getting this set up, losing money at UTH, and doing a football fantasy draft. I have to say that drafting in Vegas was absolutely amazing.

1. 7 out of the 10 guys showed up. I greeted all of them with a $5 WNBA wager on Seattle Storm. What a huge hit! Thanks Eric for the idea. And to boot, the Storm covered and I am a legend now with the League.
2. Had to do the draft in our room. Worked out great. Got 7 CPK pizzas delivered up to the room, which lasted only about 15 minutes.
3. The commissioner (Brian) incorporated a great drinking idea into our draft. Each of us had to submit two names of players that would get drafted outside of the first three rounds. When they were drafted, the person who drafted said player had to do a shot. If the player was drafted by one of the three guys not in attendance, then you had to do the shot for him. Most of us picked kickers and defenses, so it really made the last three rounds awesome. Nothing like timidly selecting a kicker and then the commissioner announcing that you had to do 2 shots with the group going crazy.
4. After the draft, we were all pretty much trashed. Handing out 14 shots started to take its toll. I only gambled for another hour after the draft and then we all ended up going to a country bar over at the TI. Why? Because we saw that they were having specials on shots. Not a good idea. The last thing I remember was being pushed around in a cart in the TI casino before jumping off and all of us running out of the casino before being kicked out. I also ordered a double shot of lamb burgers. Yes, I ate 2 lamb burgers at BLT at 4 am in the morning before passing out at the table. Great time.

As for gambling, I took it on the chin. Lost a $600 hand at UTH on a kicker. And the UTH dealers now are acting all weird. Like you have to bet in order and no talking or sharing cards. Something must of happened for them to be that strict. The dealers do recognize me now which is nice, but probably not a good thing. I've been doing so bad at UTH that as a result of this latest outing, they comp'd two rooms for me during labor day weekend. Ugh. I can't wait for March though....

2011 NFL Season Preview

OK, everyone, it's time for the audience participation part of the blog! The 2011 NFL season is coming up soon - and yes, I am cautiously optimistic (as usual) about the Browns this year. I just watch the Direct TV "Short Cuts" of the 34-14 win over the Pats from last year - and I'm ready for the season to start.

A few notes:

1. I am planning to re-start the weekly NFL previews with my picks. I just need a topic to center the previews around. To recap, I started this preview theme in 2006 by listing one of my favorite "Price is Right" games each week. In 2007, it was Seinfeld characters; in 2008, it was summarizing the NFL Head referees, and in 2009, it was the 18 holes of Augusta. We didn't do the weekly previews last year for obvious reasons.

So - looking for input from the readers on possible topics for 2011. It would have to be a "top 17" list for each week of the season.
We could focus on pop culture (like: 17 top sitcoms of the 80s; the 17 shows I watched the most in college, 17 one-hit wonders)
It could focus on football (top 17 Browns victories since the return, top 17 Browns quarterbacks, etc.)
(Do the Browns actually have 17 victories since 1999? -ed) Ha ha
Or it could be completely arrogant and focus on me (top 17 golf rounds in my career, top 17 putts that put the dagger in my friends, etc.)

Any input is welcome.

2. I went back and actually looked at my record in doing these picks. Here is the recap; these picks and records are all on the blog for public review, with the exception of 2010. I put this statement here for complete disclosure, unlike a certain friend of Wiz's whose initials are D.M.
2006: 140-124-8 (53%)
2007: partial year: 84-101-10 (45%)
2008: 143-105-8 (58%)
2009: 104-120-4 (46%)
2010: 119-102-4 (54%)

For a grand total of: 590-552-34, or 51.7%. Hmmmmm...seems like 590-552 should sound better than 52%.

The pattern I am falling into - even numbered years are good, odd numbered years are bad - is not a good sign as we move into..........

3. Stepping it up: Layup and I have an announcement to make. We have decided to make fools of ourselves this year and see how we fare vs. real competition in the Las Vegas Hilton Supercontest. Basically, we pick 5 games against the spread each week - and after 17, the entries with the best records win. Simple as that. We are still working out all the details - I'm sure we will have a link so people can see the standings.

4. Am I a degenerate, or merely a fan? Do you really want an answer? -ed One of the ex-pats here in Guangzhou is also a Browns fan. This is his first NFL season here - and he bought the "NFL Rewind" package from NFL.com that plays the shortened versions of each game over the internet, on demand. The games will be available for download at midnight each night Eastern time.

He invited a bunch of us - including me - to come over every Monday night to his place and watch 1) the Browns game and 2) other games after that. It's clear that the Browns are the main attraction....

....but I told him I probably would decline. You see, he requested that no one log into the internet or check scores all day Monday - so that we see the games for the first time on Monday night. That makes sense - and many people can do that - but I can't. There's just no way that:
1) I can sleep when the NFL is on and I have a slingbox, and
2) I can go a whole day without checking the scores on the internet/iPhone.

There's just no way I can see myself having that self-discipline. None. Am I weak, or just normal?

5. Home vs. Cincinnati....at Indy, maybe without Peyton.....home vs. Miami.....home vs. Tennessee....at Oakland...home vs. Seattle....at San Fran....at Houston....home vs. St Louis....home vs. Jacksonville....at Cincinnati.....

Yep, that's our first 11 games....and that just sounds like 8-3, no?

Ah, the ex-pat life

Today, Janice took the boys to a real Chinese hair salon to get their hair cut. Last year, we went to the ex-pat compound where most of the Americans live - there is a hair salon in that complex. The boys got their hair cut for 38 RMB each.....and each cut was done in record time (under 6 minutes each). So it wasn't the highest quality.

Janice took the boys out on our street to one of the local hair salons - there are at least 10 of them between our apartment and the main bridge, a span of 2 km.

What occurred was pretty much what you would expect. The boys were pampered. Martin, especially, loved the attention - as you can see in the picture.

All for a price of 30 RMB ($4.75) each.

Two random pictures

1. I found my soulmate in Hong Kong! Here is a picture of the dashboard of our taxi in HK before we left. So - for all of you who made fun of me for my phone & pager obsessions, I have nothing on this guy.
(I wonder what each phone is for....)



2. There is a popular book out about Chinese society, called "Sleeping Chinese". It is a photo book filled with pictures of Chinese citizens sleeping in odd, public places. Here is the website.

Let me just say that it is 100% complete reality. I was walking on the sidewalk from our P&G office to our travel agent in another building....at 12:30 in the afternoon.

This is just one random picture during my walk that was repeated 15, 20 times. Everywhere you looked - people napping in public.

Civilized Dining in Guangzhou

1. A sign of civilization here in Guangzhou! The first Burger King in the city opened in May - and we finally got around to going to it yesterday. (It's located in a mall).

The whoppers were very similar to the ones in the US; the onion rings were a bit underdone and dry. But still - can't complain!

2. Here is part of a drink menu from a restuarant we went to Friday night. Has anyone every heard of this drink? Somehow, I don't think Sprite has entered Kermit's body since 1994.

Don't get to work late

I got into the office late one day - about 8:45, 8:50 or so. After getting my 600mL bottle of Pepsi at the Circle K (cost: 3.50 yuan, or about 60 cents) I headed to the elevators.

Apparently, the subway just arrived and there were a horde of people at the elevators. Here is a picture of the line I was in - the elevator I wanted was directly to the right.

The line of people in back is for the far elevators - the elevators are by the blurry TV screen. There were at least 50 people in line.

As you can see, they set up the airplane-gate ropes by the elevator to maintain a constant queue going to the separate elevators.

The lesson, of course - everyone in the 40 story office building arrives between 8:45 and 9:30. Don't arrive at those times.

A picture to make an Irishman cry

Had to put this picture up for Craig. This is a picture from a supermarket that features many foreign foods. For import foods, the flag of the nation is there to show where it was imported from.

Here's a picture of the beer aisle. You can see - Beck's imported from Germany, Heineken from Holland, and a mystery beer in the top left, imported from Malaysia....

A glowing review

There is a small waterpark nearby our apartment. A friend of ours went on Sunday with his kids - I asked for a review, and whether we should take our boys sometime.

His response, verbatim:

Fun, but go early, as the filters have a hard time keeping up with population. Water very clean at beginning, by noon a little cloudy. Plus, more public urination than I prefer at my water parks.

Otherwise, lovely!

The definition of demotivation

Yesterday, the gym at our complex was closed - no reason given, just a notice that "on August 14th, the facitilies will be temporarily closed". I really needed to get some exercise, as I have skipped a couple of sessions last week - so I decided to run outside yesterday afternoon.

It wasn't deathly hot - even though it was 90-95 degrees and 90% humidity - the run was on the river and there was some shade, at least. I completed 5K in about 30 minutes (29:45!!!) and walked back into the apartment complex.

I was dripping with sweat and still trying to catch my breath fully when I went into the elevator with a middle-aged Chinese woman. After saying "Ni Hao", she responded with something like:

"Pao Lao Ti"

I had no idea what she was saying, so she tried again, a bit slower:

"Pao Lao Tai" - different word on the end.

"Pao Lao Tai", she tried one more time.

I shrugged - again - and got to my floor and exited.

5 seconds later - it hit me. Hey- maybe I know some of those words! "Tai", I remember, is "too" - like too hot, too much, too cold, etc.

"Lao" - where I have heard that before? "Lao Shi" is the word for teacher....literally meaning "old leader". So "Lao" must be old, or elderly....

Hey, wait a minute...I don't like where this is going.

I looked up "Pao" on my IPhone Chinese dictionary - yup, one of the definitions for Pao means "to run"

So - she literally told me "run old too", or, with some simple rearranging, "too old to run" - I'm too old to run.

I'm going to have to learn Chinese in order to respond to insults within an hour.....

(* "Lao Ti" I think is worse; it means "old and weak". So she could be saying "I run like an old, weak man".)

Only the best

Here is a picture of our engineering department shirts that were ordered for an offsite.

I think the owner of the company who makes the shirt needs to take the advanced

English lessons.....

Chinese Logic

We have been doing a lot of miscellaneous stuff around the apartment here to get ready for another year here in China. It's very hard to believe that the 1 year anniversary for our assignment was on Saturday; it's even harder to believe that the boys go back to school on Wednesday!

The feeling around here reminds me of the first hours of a Vegas trip on Wednesday. Our friends are arriving bit by bit - we all know that they have to be here by Wednesday, but I'm not sure of their exact arrival dates. One friendof ours came back last Thursday; another arrived this weekend; twomore are coming tomorrow (I think).....it's very much like a Wednesday night in Vegas, when the whole group starts arriving in stages.

The big addition to the apartment this year is a new router we bought in California; it workslike a charm and I can access the signal all the way in the kitchen. Slingbox now works on the main TV - so I may be camped out on our couch for the NFL games on Monday morning from 1-4 am.

We also went to the sporting goods store to buy a bike for Martin. As you can see in the first picture - you will be satisfied or....you will be satisfied! There is no other choice!

The mindset of customers in stores here is much different. The second picture is a picture of the ping-pong table displays in the store. As you can see, customers have no problem in helping themselves in trying the equipment/table out. The bike area in this store is filled with customers actually riding sample bikes up and down the aisle.

And it's like this in every store. You should see the IKEA on a Saturday ( I did yesterday). It's like a hospital waiting room. 90% of the seats of the sofas/chairs on display are occupied. At least half of the beds on display has someone laying on it. Hey, it's there to be used, right?

The landlord's assistant came over on Saturday as we shared a list of things we wanted done around the place to renew our lease. One of the items was the swimming pool at the apartment. The pool is open from 8:30 - 11, and then from 3:30 - 9. It is closed from 11-3:30.

Those hours are fine during the week, but during the weekend, with 3 kids? I mean, early afternoon hours are prime hours to be at the pool!!! So I brought this up with the manager.

"Yes, it is closed from 11 - 3:30."

Well, can it be open during those hours on a weekend?

"Oh....hmmmm...well, those are the hours when the sun shines on the pool."

And?

"It gets hot on the pool deck - with the sun there. It's too hot to work. So we close it down until it gets colder at 3:30."

So - you actaully close the pool because it is too hot to swim?

"Yes, that's right."

Let me get you the number of a pool manager in Las Vegas and you can talk to them on how to keep a pool open during the summer.....

Am I getting soft?

Layup and I made a trip to the Pala Casino in Southern California the night before I left. We ended up spending 4 1/2 hours out there - we thought we would play some UTH, some Pai Gow, blackjack - you know, some variety.

As you probably guessed, 100% of the time was spent on UTH.

And not just normal UTH - this was Progressive! For an extra $1 (or more, I guess) on top of the trips, you have a side bet on the hand you form with your two hole cards and the three flop cards. A royal wins $75,000!

(Of course, no one came close).

Anyway, Layup and I settled in nicely - to his left, Layup made friends with a 60 year old Asian woman who knew no English but would engage Layup in a high-ten (two hands) when they both hit a winning hand. Stevie Williams and Tiger had better coordination.

Next to me was a 50-something woman who seemed to be Mexican by birth but was Americanized. Her and I would chat a bit about the hands - very friendly. Every once in a while, this strange male, about 25-30, who had some sort of mental defect would come over and hover; the lady would quickly scold him in Spanish, telling him to sit down over there and shut up. (Sientese alli! See, I still know some spanish.

After the third visit by this man, I gave my neighbor a quizzical look.

"That's my son. He fell into a pool when he was young, drowned and had some brain damage because of it."

Oh - sorry to hear that.

"Yes, he likes to come with me and hang out while I play. He's going in for surgery tomorrow - he's getting a skin graft - and he can't have anything to eat after midnight. So I have to keep an eye on him."

Um - ok. I will file that away in my brain - if any of you think I have a gambling problem (you know, taking my 7 month pregnant wife to play craps in a smoky Argosy casino, betting halftime lines for WNBA, driving 10 hours in one day to gamble)- I'll just throw this lady out as the counter example. I'm not as bad as her!

Anyway, about 2 hours in, I was winning some and Layup was up some too. Two ladies came over and occupied the seats at the far end of the table. One was a 60-year old country girl, dressed in a cowboy shirt that was adorned with rhinestones. I immediately thought "Ann Richards", but Layup beat me to it and whispered "Rhinestone Cowboy is here".

Two hands in - two hands! - she noticed that Layup and I were not playing the trips. Here we go again.

"You're not playing the trips? That's stupid. That's how you make money in this game! You have to play the trips!"

Before I could say anything, Layup pulls the "Shufflemaster" card out and says he works for Shufflemaster and said the Trips bet "is for suckers only". That shut everyone up for a while.

The mood of the table turned icy - but a strange thing happened. I started winning. And - oddly - I was the only one winning. Layup went on a losing streak; our friends started losing, and Rhinestone kept losing too. But I kept winning. I would guess that 40-50% of my hands were A-x, K-6 or higher or Q-J - --- all hands to go in 4x before the flop. I didn't win all of them, but I did win about 75% of them - that helps the bankroll.

Rhinestone started paying attention, and then was interested in our methods.
"You go 4x on any ace?"

Oh dear, I can see this coming a mile away. Yes, I replied.

"Hmmmmph...."

The next hand - the next one, I swear! - she got dealt an ace. She went 4x. She lost.

Three hands later, she got A-x again. She did not go 4x, she waited until the last round, went 1x - and won.

By then, the mood of the table was in the pits. No one was winning. Layup, who was up a few hundred, was now down to his last few bets. Our friends left.

But I kept on winning.

I felt sympathtic to the table - and even toward Rhinestone. Five years ago - one year ago? - I would have muttered "f*** her" to Layup. But no - she's just a mistaken woman who can't be bothered to understand the odds. I felt some pity for her.

And it depressed me that no one else was winning. The best times at a casino are when everyone wins. This was an odd feeling - I'm winning but no one else can buy a hand.

We played another hour - the mood did not improve, and Layup fought back to even - but I never felt vengeful, or overjoyed at the table. I won 4 digits of profit - and yet I just wish Rhinestone would have shut her mouth and hept her head down when she sat at the table.

What's wrong with me? I am getting soft and emotional as I get older, aren't I?

Chinese Young Love

In the Starbucks near work (actaully, on the 1st floor of our building), there is a notebook where aspiring young artists/poets/party memebers can write down their deepest thoughts & notes. I was flipping through it yesterday while waiting for my drink....and came across this.

Is this sarcastic? Quixote-ish? Encouraging? Who knows.....I will have to find Jason somehow....

Jet Lag

It's been a week now since we've been in China - and I think it's safe to say now that we are over the jet lag. It only took us 7 days!

(there is some sort of scientific study that it takes you one day to recover from jet lag for each time zone you travel. That may be true for 80-year olds, but cmon....3 days to recover from a visit to/from CA?)

We landed early Wednesday morning last week - after a 14 hour flight. Everyone took some sort of nap that day. At 6:30 pm, the boys were crying that they wanted to go to bed. They went to bed at 7 pm.

The whole house was up Thursday morning at 2:30 am.

On Friday, everyone was up at 4; on Saturday, it was 5. For 5 days, everyone was in bed sleeping at 10 pm - including us.

On Sunday, I tried to stay up to 10:30 pm at night, only to wake up at 4:30. On the bright side, I was able to watch the end of the golf and see my golfer, Gary Woodland, woefully underclub on 18 when he needed a birdie.

Only today are the boys finally waking up at the regular hour (7 am).

It's much, much tougher coming here than going from here to the US.