Vegas Diary - 2011 - Part 1

Well, I better get going here and put my thoughts, memories, and summaries on to paper before they all get lost in the haze of my mind. Let me get some text down on the blog first - then maybe later I can embellish with pictures and other decorations.

Tue Mar 15
You know it's a weird Vegas trip when it starts on a Tuesday - actually, I left work in Guangzhou around 1 pm - so my trip actually started 10 pm Monday, Vegas time. Caught a train to Hong Kong, where I actually worked for about 4 hours in the hotel room before the early morning flight.

Besides working, the other main activity in the hotel room was to create my own tournament guide. For some reason, the publishers of the Blue Ribbon tournament guide decided not to write one this year. Now what will I do? Well, I signed up for the ESPN Insider account, found a preview page for each of the teams, copied those into a Word document, cut out the 68 pictures of Joe Lunardi contained in each preview, shrunk it down to 6 pt font - and voila! An 80 page tournament guide.

Now, printing it out at the hotel cost HK $10 a page, so I have started my trip about US $100 in the hole before even boarding an airplane.

Wed Mar 16
Flight leaves at 8, it's an international flight - so be there 2 hours early, 40 min taxi to the hotel: Gees, that's a 4:30 wake up call. What jolted me awake? I was in the shower and realized: "the next shower I will take will be in Vegas". That always brings a smile....

First leg: Hong Kong-Tokyo. March 16, 5 days after the earthquake. There was NO ONE on that plane. Each row was 3-4-3, and there was literally 1-2 people per row. A bit scary. However, when I landed in Tokyo, it seemed to be business as usual. Nothing seemed out of place.

Boarded the plane for LA at 4 pm local; I brought my NyQuil so I can sleep! Smart! I got 4 hours of sleep before my 4;30 wakeup call, I'll be dead tired on the plane and I can crash.

Dinner comes, darkness on the plane, and I comfortably fall asleep.....

....and then I wake up. Hmmmm, I wonder what time it is.....it's still dark out....

I was asleep for 90 minutes.

I took another nap on the plane for 30-40 minutes, and that was it.

Land in LA - gees, the lines at US Immigration are at least 3x as long as other airports - and Layup picks me up - and off we go to Vegas!

The ride was not as long as I thought; after the first two hours, I tried to get in a quick nap - and I got three naps in. Each was about 4 minutes long.

But before we get to the Mirage, we needed to do twoside trips: one to a Wal Mart to go medicine shopping, and to a US Bank to get loaded for the trip. The Wal Mart trip was uneventful, except for the occasional stares as two men were circling the pharmacy with a shopping cart half-full of Children's Motrin, NyQuil, and Benadryl.
The bank was an adventure, as the "bank" was not a stand-alone branch but one of those mini branches inside a grocery store. There was just one teller, with another lady who was in and out of the back room hanging up decroations out front. She seemeed to be a janitor of some kind.
It's my turn, I give her the check and withdrawal slip - and the teller makes this smirk. That's not good. Then she calls over the janitor - who apparently is the branch manager, in between her St Patrick Day deocration duties - who looks at my account on the screen, chuckles, and approves it. I am still baffled by that turn of events.

I don't remember much of gambling that night - I think the opening game was Pai Gow Poker with Don and Mike and their golf bage along side. I remember being half asleep as I tried to eat a 3 lb roast beef sandwich at the deli; I lost $500 at UTH waiting for Wiz and Leland to arrive. Not the greatest of starts.

Thu Mar 17

Started the day - after placing sports bets; the first "big bet" of the day was Old Dominion -2 vs Butler. Butler can't handle the physicality! - with Craps. I think I played more craps with Leland on this trip than the rest of the trips combined.

As we played, I got 4 texts and 2 phone calls from Wiz, who was in hiding watching Clemson.

It was 1:10 pm Eastern; I knew exactly what he was calling for.

"Is anyone near the book?"

I'm here now. What do you want?

"What's the Clemson halftime line?"

WV by 1 1/2.

"How much do you have?"

Um....it's all at the table.....

"Do you have $1000????"

No, sorry. I got $250 for you.....

Of course, I didn't place any money for me on West Virginia's 2nd half bet, which was an easy winner.....

First real winning session was that afternoon at UTH...nothing stands out there. However, we all had our first experience with the power of the Gold Card - the players club card. Layup was at the Gold level (the third level out of four), and we all went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch. There was a significant line - 10? 15 people?

Layup flashes his card - "um, can I get a table for 6??"
We were seated in 60 seconds. It was amazing.

An afternoon jog (yes, first time that has happened for me in Vegas) amid watching another Big Bet game go down in flames ("Yes! Santa Barbara has the experience to stay close to Florida") and then it was off to dinner.

I don't know if it was the food, or the fact that I haven't had a filet in 9 months - but the filet that night at Mesa was memorable. Just wonderful.

(And the fact that no one in Vegas thought that Cincinnati would beat Missouri except for me .....that helped too.....)

Ended the day with (apparently) a craps loss and the annual tradition of losing at Pai Gow to John the Dealer......

Fri Mar 18

A strong 6 hours of sleep, which could be a record for me in Vegas. Layup recommended Excedrin PM, which was extremely helpful all week.

Golf in the morning at Southern Highlands - and that was wonderful. I keep thinking about that course. It is the perfect definition of a "fair, but difficult" course. There are no tricks. The greens are not unfair; I thought (and still think) that I can 2 putt from anywhere out there (and I did, on some holes!) You get rewarded for good shots and punished for bad shots. The course is right there in front of you - there's not a lot of hidden hazards lurking.

I would gladly go back there again in a future year. I just hope I am not blackballed after yelling at the TV in the men's locker room during the end of the Arizona-Memphis game. The members sitting 3 tables away shot several dirty looks in our (my?) direction......and then quickly left the room 5 minutes later. Well, the ends justify the means, correct?

Friday, after golf, was a wild day gambling. Another losing session at craps (I think this time was with Mike) - I put my chips in my pocket and headed over to the UTH table where everyone was located. We talked about the games, and the fact that I just put in a second half bet on VCU vs Georgetown. Layup wanted some of that action, so he gave me some money to place the bet.

As I walked over there, I cashed in my two black chips from craps and put that money in my pocket and headed over to the book. I took out Layup's money and my wallet - placed his bet - and then took out my green book to look at other games.

It was when I was ready to place another bet for myself when I realized - I didn't have the $200 from my two chips I cashed at the cage.

I checked each pocket 5 times - no luck.

I felt like an extreme idiot as I went back to the same counter in the sportsbook.

"Can I help you, honey?" she said.

Um, yeah....um......did anyone, um, turn in $200?

"What? You mean turn in found money?"

Yeah....I just dropped it here 5 minutes ago.....

She checked around and - no, no one turned it in. Of course not - but I had to ask.
As I left the counter, I saw some middle aged, 5'6" man look at me and smirk to himself. I am 90% positive that he found the money on the floor of the book (while I was fumbling around) and pocketed it. But what in the hell am I supposed to do? It is my fault - that's why I always put the money in my wallet after cashing at the cage.

Anyway, the day got a little better when I won a big bet when - again - I seemed to be the only one at the casino who liked Georgia and the points (+5- which moved to +6 by tip) vs. Washington. A late 3 by the Bulldogs gave me the cover. And I didn't collect from the casino - I collected from Wiz! Even better.

Then I sat down at UTH as we had a long session. It was 5 of us - Leland was off playng his marathon of craps. From left to right, we had

Layup
Wiz
Me
Mike
Don
and....the Danish Pirate

This guy at the end of the table was 50 or so, glasses, beard, and he grunted with every bet. He said he was in Vegas for 2 weeks and was losing money, but he loved the UTH game.

All of a sudden (his hot streak probably started when Wiz and I got into a spitting fight and I was banished to the Phat Cats cafe), this guy was on fire. He started playing a $50 ante. Then $75. Then $100 every once in a while. Then $100 every hand.

And he kept winning.

He started with, oh, $500. By the end of the 3rd hour at the table, he had $3,000 on the table and AT LEAST - AT LEAST - $5,000 in his pocket. He spit out a tooth at one point into the cards - no matter, that didn't break the string. Everything he touched was gold.

(And how did I do? Well, it was the classic case of someone shooting a 59 at a golf tournament. When someone shoots a 59 on the PGA Tour, all the attention focuses to that golfer. Every move they make is magnified and lauded.

They don't see the golfer in the group behind shooting a 62.

I tripled my money at that table, by far my best outing at UTH. And this was a $15 minimum, so we are not talkig tripling $50 into $150.

I got up to the cage, cashed in my chips - and before they took the money out of the drawer, they asked:
"Do you have any markers you want to settle?"

I don't know why, but I was offended. Hell NO! I didn't take any loans out to win this money! This is from my own sweat and blood!



Well, I'm out of steam for tonight, but Friday's diary is not complete.
Here's what you can look forward to in the next installment:

"Let's make some money!"
I only play the hard 4 and 10
Afternoons in Vegas: a Taxi to Target
Brandt Snedeker costing me $25
"Security!" and the 70 year old waitress on Saturday night
My first foray into the Salon
Cleanup on aisle 9
Sean Connery will star in "Entrapment"

Quick update!

With all the attention on the "NC2A" - don't sleep on the NBA! I am uploading my updated NBA Flow chart which should show some possible games to give an extra look.

Some games I would look at:

• 3-16 (Wed) magic (vs the Bucks). bucks are playing 4 games in 5 days. Need to investigate how they've handled that scenario and minutes of the previous games. Hmmm, just say that the Bucks mailed tonights game against ATL in, so this might not be a good bet.


• 3-17 (thurs) Bulls vs Nets. Would look at how Nets have handled "success" in the past. They are coming off a big win against Celtics. My guess is they are due to relax. Bulls are playing very well and smell #1 seed in the east.


• 3-18 (Friday) Nuggets @ Orlando. Orlando is a crazy team that can't put together solid stretches of basketball. Nuggets are playing very well since the MeloDrama has ended. Teams returning home after a long road trip usually lose that first game back. Especially since they aren't playing a "name" opponent. Actually doing some quick research shows they lost to Atlanta after a 5 day road trip, lost to Philly after a WC trip, AND needed OT to beat philly after another long road trip. So I like Denver here.


• 3-19 Sat Celtics @ Hornets. Celtics are absolutely HORRIFIC on the 2nd night of the back to back. They aren't playing well to boot,so the Hornets seem like the play here.


• 3-19 Sat Pacers @ Grizzlies. Grizz are waaay better than you think ATS. Plus Pacers will be in a 4 game in 5 night stretch. Again lets check the minutes of those games, and outcomes. Did they mail one in in this previous stretch? Did any go into overtime, or was a tough physical low scoring game? What I look for in these stretches are minutes played, and if they mailed one in (as well as how has team responded in previous 4/5 situations).Looks like they are 1-1 in these situations so far, so might be worth a look but wouldn't go crazy, unless they have two OT game or something.

I think that should be enough to sprinkle in with your NCAA buffet! Good luck everyone, and stay safe out there. :)

Random Notes

Just a few notes while waiting for the latest Bracketology projections....

1. I rarely follow orders from the Chinese....but I saw this sign on a bank entrance (!) - why, yes, I will obey that command!

2. Speaking of eating and cuising, I haven't blogged too much about food here in Southern China. I will say one thing......and it will offend at least one reader on this blog....

Dim Sum is highly overrated.

You take some low-quality pork sausage, steam (not fry) it, wrap it in some filo dough, steam it again until it is rubbery, and voila! There you go.
The steamed buns are ok, but not awesome; the rest of dim sum is just .....ehhhhh. Take it or leave it. I'd rather have a good Japanese Udon noodle dish over Dim Sum any day.

3. Jeff W - you can stop reading now!
So I got an invitation on Linked In today- out of the blue - from an old college classmate. It was the woman I had a major crush on. She was in my major, American (which is no small feat at Case), and pretty damn hot. We shared at least 1 class together almost every semester.

I distinctly remember asking her out once - and it went nowhere. I can't remember if it was during my sophomore year - when I was depresses most of the team - or the start of my junior year, when I got contacts and a 1000% increase in self confidence.

So after accepting her invitation to be "linked" on LinkedIn, when is the appropriate time to say: "Uh, hey, why the hell did you turn me down for that asshole on the track team?"

Dancing in the streets

This is a typical Saturday night in a little public square next to our apartment.

It seems that someone sets up a CD player as night falls, and couples (or singles!) gather to dance - and even learn new dance moves.

Learning new dance moves? Something for you to think about, Eric! -ed

The age of the participants here vary widely, from about 25 to 70. Just cool to see.

No, I have no interest yet in joining this fray....

3 weeks away

Yes, it's that time again - 3 weeks until the tournament. As many of you know, I am still planning to be in Vegas with a business/personal trip; however, there are rumors of travel restrictions coming....we are in the middle of plan B planning right now.

Anyway, here is our look at some projected games for this year's tournament, from ESPN's bracketology. It's less fun to do this when Maryland or Clemson (or Dayton) are not projected to be in.

The Kampen Game
(2) Purdue vs (15) Vermont

Layup's 5-12 Lock
(5) Syracuse vs (12) Belmont

Eric's Ohio Underdog game
(5) Vanderbilt vs (12) Cleveland St

Layup's $1000 on the Money Line game
(4) North Carolina vs (13) Oakland

The 7-10 game no one cares about
(7) Washington vs (10) Georgia

The Paul Goydos Game
(2) BYU vs (15) Long Beach St

The Jay Memorial 9 am on Thursday first upset game
(7) Missouri vs (10) St Mary's

Wiz's ACC Lock
(6) West Virginia vs (11) Virginia Tech

Virginia is for Lover's game
(7) George Mason vs (10) Alabama

The game only Eric cares about
(1) Pittsburgh vs (16) Miami-OH

Mike's Philly Cheesesteak Game
(7) Temple vs (10) Old Dominion
(is Bucknell in Philly?)

Leland's Dino Gaudio Memorial Game
(8) Illinois vs (9) UCLA

90s Baseball Nostalgia

Had some time tonight to surf a bit, and landed on Joe Posnanski's blog at si.com. I like him and most of his writing on si.com (and not just because he grew up in Cleveland).

In January, he put some posts up about the Hall of Fame balloting for this year. One post focused on 12 players that were on the ballot this year. The only qualification to be on the ballot for the Hall of Fame is that you had to play 10 years in the majors.

Those 12 players listed - wow. If you are any sort of baseball fan, you can't help but say "Oh yeah!", "I forgot about that", and "I remember him!" multiple times during this piece.

Take a read, and remember what innocence was like around 1990-1998.

(and how about name #1 on that list! I'll have to tell you the story sometime of when Janice (not Steve!) and I saw history at old Municipal stadium....

2011 Hall of Fame Voting

Taiwan Blogging part 2

The next day we took the boys to the Taiwan Science Museum. Great place. The kids spent 20 minutes outside the museum to start watching one of those "marble roll" things - where 30-40 marbles follow all sorts of different paths. Why spend any money going inside when all the entertainment is for free outside?

We went in, anyway - the cost was a whole US$2.50 per person - and it was pretty impressive. Four floors of science and math exhibits. DNA, Physics, Chemistry, Math.....pretty neat stuff. There was even a full display on LaVoisier.


(I think I've heard of him in the past......maybe.....what's he famous for again?)

We got to one section in the biology area - and it was a section on the digestive system. And let's just say the Taiwanese are not subtle. They wanted to make it as realistic as possible.









You pretended to be food, and you enter the exhibit through the mouth and exit the exhibit - that's right - through the anus.

Along the way, there are signs to point out different parts of the digetsive systems. The signs were comic strip-like in nature, with three kids asking different questions. Here's two of them. I know we are prudes in the US - but really? 10 year olds in Taiwan can handle this without giggling?

Taiwan Blogging, part 1

Lot of picture dumps coming. So we dook a three day trip to Taiwan right at the start of the (Western) New Year. We landed in the afternoon, checked in and went right to Taipei 101, the big landmark in the city.

We first ate dinner at the food court in the basement of the building, which was a 4-story mall. The boys saw a Subway and insisted on that. I ordered noodle/soup dishes from two other stands in the food court. Janice wasn't that hungry, so she touched maybe 1/3 of hers.

Of course, so I ended up eating mine and most of the rest of hers.

As Julia Roberts said..."That's a mistake. Big Mistake". I could see people running around our dinner tale with red flags, yelling "Warning! Warning! Don't eat too much!".

Of course, I got sick that night.

Went to the conveinence store to get something - anything - to try to settle my stomach down. My first thought was: "Shasta....what I wouldn't give for a Shasta right now!"

And lo and behold, my prayers were answered!

Super Bowl XLV

Well, as you can guess, I am very, very happy in the result of the Super Bowl. The thought of the Steelers winning another ring and their fans becoming that much more arrogant.....ugh.

Also, this is the second year in a row where I did have a winning wager on the player to score the first TD. Thanks, Jordy! I don't think I will hit another one of those for the next 20 years.....

It was nice to watch the Super Bowl in the morning. Super Bowl Sunday usually is interminable - the pregame shows are unwatchable, and you just want for 6:30 to come around. Not here - I went to sleep, set the alarm for 6:45, got ready and went to the Sports Bar with the boys to watch the game.

The bar was about 90% Packers fans - or, I should say, 90% of the people there were rooting for the Packers.

We did not have the Fox feed - Freddie was disappointed that we couldn't see the commericials. We had the feed from the "ASN" network, which took the NFL network feed. The annoucners were Bob Papa and - wait for it - Joe Theisman. Argh.



However, at half time and at the end of each quarter, a trio of Chinese broadcasters would pop up and provide some analysis. To my knowledge, there is no NFL equivalent of a "Chien-Ming Wang", so these were not ex-players. The guy in the middle seemed to be asleep and completely disinterested in commenting. Picture a blackjack table with me on one side, Don on the other side and Layup in the middle - and Don and I recounting, in great detail, our golf from earlier that day. Layup's look in that conversation mirrored what our middle commentator looked like all game.

Hello from Boracay

As I said in the last post, we are vacationing this week in the Philippine Island of Boracay. This is an island about in the middle of the Philippine chain, and is about 6 miles long and 1-2 miles wide. The main part of "town" is a pedestrian mall that is attached to a boardwalk-type of walkway that runs parellel to the beach. There is no "boardwalk", however, the path is just a trample path of sand. This part of town, obviously built for tourists, is very much like a miniature version of the Ocean City boardwalk.

Many different types of cultures here - a lot of Koreans and Japanese, a healthy dose of American ex-pat families, and a surprising amount of Germans.

The Philippine people are very nice - but service may not be there strong point. There are people everywhere eager to help, but nothing gets down. It took 6 people behind a bar a total of 5 minutes to get a Sprite. And I was the only customer.

Walking on the sand, there are boys - maybe 7-12 years old - that make these works of art in the sand, obviously hoping to attract the eye of tourists and to get a donation. A sand bowl is made next to the drawing (sometimes labeled, "Tip") for these donations.



Warren tried a similar tactic with his sand drawing of a fish - but no money appeared. I wonder why.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Hello there! Happy New Year! I've had to go to work for three weeks in 2011, and now it's time for another holiday - Chinese New Year! The whole country pretty much shuts down for 5-7 days; we've been advised to get out of the country. So, right now, I am blogging from Boracay Island in the Phillipines. 85 degrees every day. More blogging on that to come.

When we get back, we have to hand out red envelopes to people that wish us Happy New Year. These people include:
- driver and nanny (of course)
- doormen
- the girls that work in the conveinence store in the building
- direct reports/secretaries
- any unmarried people
- children

The amount in the envelope will vary; before we left on vacation, I had the chore of filling about 150 envelopes with various amounts of cash. We bought these envelopes from a department store; some of the envelopes had a acetyl-alcohol kind of smell. I was feeling very much like Susan in "Seinfeld". She dies before the wedding with George because George bought the cheapo-envelopes. I felt I would suffer the same fate with the fumes I was inhaling.

Anyway, I'm so behind on blogging - got a lot to talk about, especially reporting about Taiwan and our 3-day adventure there. But one more item about life in China - we are living in an apartment complex with about 90% Chinese and 10% foreigners. They try to translate all apartment complex notices into English - but it looks like they need help. This is an actual sign posted by the elevator going to our apartment. The general idea is conveyed, I guess.....

Nice 2 Meat You

Steve, I expect a full review this summer of this burger that will be sold at Canal Park. Canal Park is in Akron, home of the Akron Aeros (the AA-affiliate of the Tribe).

"1 ¼ lb. hamburger, stuffed with a ½ lb. hot dog, and ¼ lb. of bacon, cheese, and onions.". That makes a good jingle.


It looks so bad...but I want one.

US Geography lessons needed

So the main airline I fly here is China Southern. It's a partner of Delta's, so I get to rack of the miles flying from Guangzhou to Taiwan, or Guangzhou to Beijing, etc. The miles are actually being credited, so that's good!

I was flipping through the route maps in the back of the airline magazine on one trip. One purpose was to figure out all the cities in China that I have heard in conversations, but have no clue where the location is. (Urumqi? Ha'erbin?)

I stopped at the section where it showed all the internation flights - especially the flights from China/Asia to North America. As usual, it showed two "colors" of flights - one in blue that were actual China Southern flights; the other was in red, which were codeshare flights. Apparently, Delta and Continental hubs were included.

The one "blue" flight was the non-stop from Guangzhou to LA.

There were a few reds to the middle of the US - to Atlanta, to Cincinnati, and to Cleveland - all hubs for Delta (the first two) and Continental.

The map had no borders - it was just a picture of the North American continent but with no countries shown.

So, now picture yourself as the person that needs to put the city dots on this map. How would you describe where Atlanta is?
"Just north of that peninsula in the lower quadrant of that mass in the north".

Done -Atlanta was pretty well placed.

Cincinnati? "Well, just kind of north of Atlanta"
Cincinnati looked like a suburb of Atlanta on the map, but ok.

Cleveland? "Well, it's on the south shore of the Great lake."

Well, unfortunately, the Great Lakes did not appear on this map. So Cleveland, on this map, is seen at the southern tip of Hudson Bay. At least 1200 miles north of the Cincinnati-Atlanta metroplex.

I'll have to get a picture of this to show it. I don't think I am doing the map justice.

Clothing Blogging

OK, trying to resume blogging after a layoff. I need to make sure I take my VPN login information when I travel so I can blog from hotel rooms in China (when I seem to have the time).

Two quick notes on clothing:

1. How much clothing should one pack when moving to another country?

Now, before answering...

How much clothing should you pack if you knew that your laundry would be done every day?!?!

The answer is that I packed way too much. Don't need to have 15 pairs of underwear when they are washed every day!

I have too many pants, dress shirts, golf shirts, etc......many haven't been touched yet. And why not? When you have a rotation of 5 favorite work outfits - why change if they are all clean and rady to go?

2. When did you all say: "Where's my winter coat?" for the first time this season? November 17th? December 2nd?

For me, it was last Sunday - and that's only because I had to travel to the north of China. It's nice living in the tropics! It may get to 70 next week! :)

The first of many?

I wonder if next year, at this time, I will be freaking out....

I'm celebrating by going over a friend's house tomorrow morning (still technically my birthday in the US) and watch the National Championship game. I'll be munching on a bag full of Sausage McMuffins with Egg.

Game Time beverage

During our trip to Taiwan, I needed to get a pop out of the vending machine.

Here was one of the multitude of choices in that machine. It was hard, but I had to pass on "Root SARS".

By the way, this is the beverage that most Browns fans drink every Sunday from 1999-preseny.

Let's not make any rash decisions

Hello everyone. It's been a while since the last post, and I have a ton of topics to cover. So there will be a big posting dump over the next 5-7 days or so.

Hope everyone had a good New Year's. My parents came in for Christmas, which was very nice. They left on New Year's Eve and got to the airport well ahead of their scheduled departure time. Dad was feeling a little queasy that morning, so we gave him some medicine before taking him to the airport.

As I was riding home after dropping them off, it occurred to me that they have no way to reach me! Dad's blackberry wasn't working, and his email stopped working for the last 2 days of the trip. The paranoid person in me started worrying - what if Dad gets sicker? How will they reach me? Do they even have my number written down?

I was playing with Martin in our apartment's children's area later that afternoon. I looked at my phone and I somehow missed a call 2 minutes ago - from an unknown number. Now I started to worry a bit more. Who is this? Did Dad grab a cell phone from an unknown Chinese person in the airport to get a hold of me?

I dialed the number back. It was a recording - all in Mandarin - and as I heard it, I could pick out a lot of numbers in the message. What exactly is this?

I texted our driver to see if he could call the number and tell me what the message is.

His response:
"Just harassing phone calls, promote gambling"

Hey now! Just wait a minute! Let's not rush to judgement on those recorded phone calls!

I may have to give that number another call once the NFL season is over!

Deli Sandwich

Went out Christmas shopping last week....stopped at a Deli to get some lunch. Yes, I will have the black pepper ham sandwich. It cost 30 yuan - just less than 5 dollars.

This is what I received.

That is one slice of meat on the sandwich.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from China! Yes, there is plenty of Christams decorations and music here in China. For about a month now, Christams carols - all in English - have been playing the malls. There have been many religious songs included in that collection. The Merry Christams theme is much more prominent here than in the US. There is no "Happy Holidays" sentiment here.

Of course, Christmas for most of the Chinese was a normal day. Our gas went out on Christmas morning - we apparently used up all our hot water and our account was at $0.00 on Dec 25. So our driver went out to the office, recharged our account, and gas was restored later that morning.

We are in the middle of a Monopoly phase here at the house - both boys love to play both the real board game version and the Wii version. They are starting to love the trading aspect and building up the hotels right away. There have been a few games that end in crying when one lands on New York, or Illinois, or even Park Place with a hotel.

It reminds me of years gone by with the Monopoly tournaments in the backyard and - more recently - a cut throat game 15 years ago when I was in Dayton when I held up the game for 10 minutes because I wanted Reading Railroad as part of a 3-way, 12-property trade instead of Short Line, which was being offered.

But I was right!

Learn English!

Found this book at a bookstore in Guangzhou.

Must.....resist......joke.....about......teleprompter.......

Sports Market

Went to the tourist shopping market today, called "Beijing Lu" - Beijing Street. Bought some Elmo's World DVDs for 25 yuan (about $4) each. Not bad.
One section of the market was dedicated to sports apparel/equipment - Nike, adidas, Converse, etc. No sign of Stadia, however.

Anyway, two questions for the group from this trip:


1. I need help from Craig, Mike, or others that have a vested interested in the EPL: Should I shop in this first store, or teach my sons to run away?

(and in the Venetian at Macau, there was the "Manchester United Experience" store in the plaza. Again, avoid or jump in?)




2. I would love to purchase multiple copies of this banner (the second picture) and give to our Univ of Maryland readers.....How profitable could I be if I bought 10,000 of these and marketed to every non-Duke ACC fan in the age range of 30-50? This would make a great background for rifle target practice, to put on a punching bag, in a urinal.....

Lost in translation

This sign appears near the entrance of the grocery/supermarket we visit. This is a European chain - Metro - so it's not a "real native" Chinese market. However, the translation here leaves something to be desired.

What was the real intent of this sign? To point out where the Electronics are? Auto Parts? Road Runners?

Now I understand how disasters occur.....

Some of you may have known that the 16th Asian Games were hosted by Guangzhou in November! The Asian Games are one step down from the Olympics - but it is still a huge production. 2 weeks of activities where the city almost shuts down - we got the Opening Ceremony day as a holiday. Fireworks and skylights galore.

I took the boys - with another father and their sone - to see the Track and Field events one night. I have to say, it was a lot of fun. The women's 10,000 m final was that night - you can see the action shot in the picture here! Can't you feel the excitement? The gun went off, the ladies started running - and then the boys asked how many laps there were.

25, I said.

"Oh....." they were disappointed. But it was clear that one of the ladies - in the final! - was much worse than the others. By lap 3, she was more than 1/2 lap behind. The boys were fascinated by the main runners "lapping" her - once, twice, three times.

The shot put and hammer throw were going on at the same time as well. We were all fascinated by - how do I put this - how amateur the participants were. At least 33% of the throws ended in foot faults. The hammer throw took place on the right of the picture - you can see the poles and the netting set up so hammers aren't thrown int the track. It's a good thing they were there, too - there were more than a few throws into the net, and sometimes we heard a loud "ping" - when the hammer hit the pole.

But I have to say our experience at the entrance of the stadium was the first time I felt in danger of physical harm. At the entrance on each side of the stadium, all spectators had to go through a metal detector and put any bags on a conveyor - exactly like an airport security check.

On our side of the stadium, there were about 25 or so detectors set up. But there were no lines.

We got there - and there were police standing about 30 feet in front of all the detectors. The policemen formed a human chain - and this chain was at least 300-400 feet long to cover all 25 detectors or so. Every once in a while, the police would open the chain at a position in front of the detector - let a few people in - and then close the human chain.

When we got there, there were people 15-20 deep along all 300 feet. So imagine a rectangle, 300 feet wide by about, oh 20-25 feet deep - and that rectangle was jammed full of people.

What happens when the police opens up the chain? Of course - a mass push to the opening. This was kind of fun when you are in the back - but once you are in the middle of the rectangle - holy hell.

This all occured outside, on blacktop - so even though it was not particulary hot out (maybe 70-75 degrees), just the heat coming from the blacktop was very noticeable. And I am about 6 feet tall. Freddie and Warren were really feeling it being 4 feet tall or so.

And we had to create room for them. They weren't getting much space at all. They were half amused and half confused.

As we got closer to the front, a grim thought hit my mind - what if Freddie or Warren - or I - tripped as we advanced to the front?

I ended letting them be ahead of me allowing me (and my larger-than-your-average-Chinese-person body) to try to force-create room by holding people back.

It was scary. We got through it in about 20-25 minutes, although it seemed a lot longer. Now I understand how people get seriously injured - or even killed - in stampedes. This was the qualification rounds of the Asian Games, for God's sake! What if it was something more important?

Coaching Rule #1: Know your players

Here's some more posts to bring everyone down from the high that was Jake Delhomme's first game winning drive this year (and what a drive it was! Veteran quaterback leadership to lead the Browns down the field to win, 13-10, at the gun):

I signed Freddie up for soccer this fall. The soccer is organized as a 7-on-7 matchup on a much smaller field than a regular soccer field. This is a great idea, as there is more action and all players feel like they are taking part.

I didn't sign up to coach initially, but at the first game (there were no practices! We were just thrown into games right away!), there was only one coach who just wanted to be an assistant. No one was thinking about positions, or how subs would work....so I decided to volunteer. I quickly realized that I was in the top 10% of the parents in coaching kids - with my track record back in the US - so I should have volunteered to begin with. (Freddie, by the way, is the only American on our team of 9). By week 2, I was the de facto head coach.

Anyway, it was time to meet all our players. The assistant coach and his son were English; we have two Korean kids that are twins (and I still get their names mixed up), two Taiwanese boys and an Indian boy.

On the side were two other kids on our team, one an Indian girl and another kid that had dark skin with afro-like hair pulled into a pony tail.

I went over and introduced myself to the girls.

"Hello ladies, I'm Coach Eric. What are your names?"

The Indian girl replied: "Hi, I'm Minu".

The other kid was silent. Alarm bells were ringing in my head.

"Um, hi - what is your name?"

"Ethan"

Of course it is. He looks like an 8 year old Yannick Noah. (That's Joakim's dad for all you youngsters out there). His father is Caucasian, his mother is African.

And it turns out Ethan is our best player on the team - a wicked left foot.

Our record is now 5-6-7 (I am not making that up) with 2 more games to go. Freddie is turning into a pretty good goalie.

Common sense translation

So - business question here - how do you create brand names in China? If you want to create a brand name for your product - and have it sound "non-Chinese" - how would you do that?

There's a lot of brands that take Western words, mush them together - and voila! You have a brand name.

For instance, there is a bottle water brand called "C'estbon". Literally, this means "It's good" in French. See? The water must be good!

There is another water brand called "Bonaqua". This is a French/Spanish mish-mash that means "Good water".

So I go into the 7-Eleven, and at the main counter by the cashier, I see a box with the brand name on it; the brand is:

"Jissbon"

I don't think I need to tell you the product that this brand name is associated with.

(and it's right next to the Mentos, too!)

Grocery shopping

You may have to click on the photo to enlarge, but here is proof that Beer is cheaper than Coca Cola in China.

The Hiatus is over!

Well, we are finally back. I have the external VPN set up at home so I can access blogspot, youtube, and many other sites without them being blocked.

So many things to talk about over the last 2 months. Things have gotten better since the last post on Sept 26 - that's the good news. The problem with not posting for that long is that the experiences that seem so fresh,so new at the time are not routine. For instance, listening to Ryan Seacrest in the car to soccer yesterday on a Beijing radio station - so what? But Layup thinks that is newsworthy. Oh well - there you go!

We'll start off with everyone's favorite topic - gambling! We got away for the weekend 2 weeks ago and took a trip to Macau for 2 nights. We stayed at the Venetian and it was great! Warren was crying the second night because "I don't want to leave! Can't we stay here forever??" Sounds like me on the Sunday night of the Vegas trip! (I'm getting him trained early).

First, let me just say that I spent more time doing "recreational" activities on this trip - like taking the canal ride, shopping, mini golf - than in the last 10 Vegas trips combined. I gambled for about 5 hours total over 2 days. Just enough to whet the appetite, but leave you hungry for more.

I mostly played craps. Some random notes about the craps experiences:

- Huge casino; at least, oh, 50 baccarat tables that were open (and 50 more that were not), 20 SicBo, 10 roulette, 30 blackjack - and 2 craps. Just not that popular.
- The minimums were $100 HK. The ratio is about 8 HK$ to 1 US$ - so it's just a tad more expensive than a $10 US craps table. But it plays with your mind! I have $120 on the 6 and 8 - I win a few times - now what? Press to..........$150? $210? ok. What do I win on those? Quick!
- The language spoken by most of the players there is Cantonese, not Mandarin. So that threw me at the beginning. I would be asking for a "liu" (6) and a "ba" (8) - and I was corrected by this older man who said the numbers were "lo" (6) and "bat" (8). I eventually also learned that "gong" is Cantonese for face card (handy at the blackjack table). So my three word vocabulary in Cantonese is solely because of gambling.
- The language got me in trouble later - I wanted to do my patented "Horn High Ace Deuce" bet on the come out. So I try to be nice and throw the $100 in and say "Horn High San", where San is Mandarin for 3. Well, that got them all confused. They don't know "san", and put the chip on the horn high 12. I said "no, no - san! San!" and there was all sorts of confusion. I finally said "3" - and they put in on the right spot.
The dealer then calmly said "next time, just say "Horn High Ace Deuce" - we understand that!"
- The betting behavior at the table was extremely odd. If there were 10 people at the table, you would have:
2 people betting on the pass line
all 10 on the numbers
5 of them betting on the numbers would have them working on the come out roll
0 people betting the come
0 people betting the hardways

and of those 10, 8 would not be at the table 20 minutes from now.

oh, and 15 people would crowd at each far end of the table to watch. It's a fascination to many Chinese casino attendees.

- That betting behavior led to this wild story. So there's like 4 people at the table - I think this was 8 in the morning or so, when I was pissed after the Browns 26-20 OT loss to the Jets. The table was choppy, and this man was constatnly betting the numbers - and they were always ON.
The dice came to him - and the dealers said that if he wants to roll, he has to put a pass line bet down. He grudgingly did.

First rolls - 8 - then several numbers, then an 8! Winner!
Next: 5 - more numbers, then a 5! Two points!
Next: 10 - more numbers, then a 10!
It was getting hot....I was winning the pass line and the 6 and 8, and he was winning a fortune on the numbers.
Next: 8 again - more numbers - then another 8! Woo hoo!

Next: 7 on the pass line - winner!
The shooter - of course - won his minimal $100 pass line, but lost his numbers. He was pressing a bit and had some money out there - maybe $500 on each number. But he had already made a very nice profit to that point.

He paused for about 10 seconds.

"Color up" he said.

I think I said, out loud - "You CAN'T COLOR UP NOW! You're hot!" He didn't hear or understand me.

I was dumbfounded. The dice - in the middle of a hot roll - passed to me. Of course, you know what happened. 6, 7 out.

I am still in shock that he picked up while rolling.

- If any of you ever come out here, I am sure we will have a mini golf competition. It is a 36 hole course that is wild - the holes are about 20-40 meters long; they do not have those stupid boards on the sides of the holes. The course is built on the roof of the casino. It took Freddie, Warren and I 1 full hour to play 18. And the greens are tough and undulating. I can't wait to go back. The only person I know that would have a chance to hit par on this course is Kermit.

The picture above is the approach to the 10th green, I think. You can see Freddie in the background - he hit his approach over the green; that's not where you want to be, as seen by the slope of the green.

All grass in that photo is artificial, by the way.

Free (to post) at last

I'm coming to you live from the Bangkok airport lounge, on my way to India. This is my first visit to India, where I hear the food is good..........





(and that's about it).

I still don't feel too comfortable posting here from work more than once a week, so postings will be sparse until we can get the external VPN set up in China.

Some quick updates:

1. I had some nice pictures to share on the topics below - but then Martin (our 2 year old) went and deleted about 20 pictures from my iPhone. He's too nimble with my phone. He sent a mail to Freddie's baseball coach in Cincinnati saying "I scored 459 on Doodle jump! Can you beat that???"

2. Should I be offended, part 1 (of many?): So the beauty of going to an international school is that the classmates are all......international! Freddie was invited to a birthday party for a classmate, who is French.

The invitation came. It had Uncle Sam on it. It said, and I quote:

"I WANT YOU......FOR MY ANNIVERSAIRE"

Um, is that legal? Can you use an icon of the USA and put a French word on it? Should I go to the consulate to complain?

3. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were holidays* here in China. On Wednesday, we took the boys to the 7 story shopping mall, which was complete with a mini amusement park and arcade. Freddie met up with a friend - so Warren and I went off together. He loves those silly carnival games where you put the token in and try to win tickets. Of course, those tickets are worthless.....80 of them will buy you one of those Chinese finger-jammer things.

Anyway, so he plays this one game where you drop the token, it lands on its side and rolls toward the edge of a rotating circle - and if the token knocks over the bar, you win! The larger the bar, the smalelr the prize, of course.

He dropped it - it rolled - and knocked over a bar about the size of a toothpick.

JACKPOT!

350 tickets came spilling out of the machine. One CHinese lady came over and wanted to take a picture of Warren. He said ok.

I expect - somewhere - that picture to be framed somewhere as part of a "Winners play here!" advertisemnt that every casino has...

"Warren Z., of Guangzhou! - 350 ticket jackpot winner!"

*4. Well, we can debate if Wed-Fri were truly holidays. The offices were closed - but, to make up for it, the office was open the Sunday before and the Sat/Sun after the holiday. You don't just get a free day off, you know! We will plead ignorance if someone asks why we weren't in the office on Sat or Sunday.

5. I locked out my ATM card in July when I was trying to set up online banking at HSBC, which is centered in Hong Kong. How do I get a new PIN? Well, I have to mail a form in! To Hong Kong!

I sent the form in on Aug 20. As of Sept 17, there has been no reply yet. So I called HSBC.

"Yes, we sent the new ATM PIN on Sept 2."
To what address?
"To the address you wrote - in China."
I put down my office address. I would hate to have it sent to the US,and then somehow get lost....
Anyway, I told them I haven't received it yet.
"Oh, you should shortly."
But you sent it on Sept 2!
"Yes, that's right".
How long does it take to mail something?
"You should expect it to take 10-15 business days."

OK - This is a mail sent from Hong Kong. It is literally 100 miles away from my office. Given the holidays, I should expect my ATM mail to be received.....next week sometime. That's about 25 calendar days.

Is this what the Pony Express was like back in the day?

The little things...

It's the little things that cause a lot more frustration than they should....for example:

1. Light switches. Apparently, the thought process of building contractors in the US and China are completely different.

In the US - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. The switch is right there on the wall.....blink! on.

In China - you go into a dark bathroom. Hmmmm, it's dark - I need to turn on the light. There are no swithces in the bathroom. The switches are located on the wall outside the bathroom.

This is consistent in every room. Apparently, you are expected to think ahead. I'm going into the bedroom. Do I need light? Well, decide now because the switches are outside the room, not in the room. There's a bank of 12 switches right by the front door. Decide NOW on what light you want to turn on - becuase if you don't, you'll be walking right back to this bank of switches to turn the light you want on.

By the way, the over/under on the number of switches I try until I find the one I want is still 6 1/2.

2. Drains: there are no traps in the common drains in China. So - any odors in the pipes come right back up and fill your bathroom. (Not to mention this is a source for roaches to come up into your house too). So they have these drain covers in place on top of the shower drains. You are also supposed to keep your sink plugs closed when not using.

These shower drains look like they drain, however. They've got holes in them! So I step into the shower for the first time, sing a couple of stanzas of Rod Stewart....and then I find the shower is flooded and water is draining....out through the shower door.

Apparently, we need to remove these covers before we shower, and then replace them when done. Chalk that up to a "teachable moment".

3. Sickness update: I still have a cough (day 13?), but it is much better. Janice and Martin, however, are not doing so well. We took Martin in to the doctor. She prescribed an inhalant. "Yes, put this mask/pipe over Martin's face, and then spray the inhalant when he breaths. Tell him to take deep breaths."

Did I mention he's 2? Yeah, that's impossible. It takes both Janice and I to hold him down and give him the medicine. It's not pretty.

4. The Mid-Autumn festival is coming! There is a sign on the conveinence store downstrairs, advertising gifts you can buy for the festival! Some options:
- a bottle of wine
- a box of moon cakes (which is a dessert speciality - not at all like Moon Pies in the US)
- flowers
- a can of SPAM

Hmmmmmmm...which one does not belong? I need to get a picture of this advertisement.

5. Yes, I watched the Browns live on Sunday (Monday?). Yes I knew the game was lost when Jake threw that interception late in the 1st half.

The only consoling factor is that I went 9-3-1, winning these games: Mia, Mia under, Pit, Det, Cin over, Ten over, NYG, Arz, and Bal. I lost Cin, Phi, Phi over, and tied the Sea under. Who didn't see a Jets meltdown coming?

Still having issues with moving into our apartment.....let's just say that if we order pizza and want mushrooms on it, we don't order the mushrooms but instead go into one of the bedrooms and pick it off the carpet.

The Browns

Yes, I am still excited for the NFL season to start. I was able to participate in 2 fantasy football drafts, I'm in a pick-em pool and now 2 suicide pools. And I will have two full weekend days to think about the games - unlike you suckers in America that have - at most - 1 1/2 days (and for Layup, it's just 1).

I will try not to be polly-annaish about the Browns, but here's my prediction for the season, based on teh schedule:

Games vs AFC North (6): 2-4. I do think we can win 2 in the division this year. I think we beat Pittsbrugh once (at home, probably), and then win one game against Baltimore or Cincinnati. I'm pretty sure one of those teams is overrated - they can't both go 11-5, can they? I'm leaning toward the Bengals being overrated and us winning vs. Cincinnati at home. So I think 2 wins in the division is doable.

Games vs NFC South (4): 2-2. Well, we're not beating the Saints in New Orleans. I think we should win 2 out of 3 against Tampa on the road and Carolina and Atlanta at home. I'm not that impressed with the Falcons. The opener - if we win - will go a long way to get us to 2-2 vs the NFC South. It's still doable if we lose week 1.

Games vs AFC East (4): 2-2. If we can win at Buffalo last year with the worst quarterbacking the NFL has seen in 40 years, with the Browns completing 2 passes all game and Mr. Anderson having a 0.0 rating for the second half....then we can win at Buffalo again this year.

And for those of you that don't remember the game I'm talking about, click here. This was a game for the ages.

Can we get another one among the Pats at home, Jets at home, and Dolphins on the road? I think so. Either the Pats or the Jets are overrated. Right now, my money's on the Jets being overrated and being 7-9 this year or so. But the Pats may be in decline as well. I think the game at Miami will be the toughest.

Bonus games (2): 1-1. The 2 other games are home vs. KC and at Jacksonville. Week 2 - the home opener vs. KC - is the key. We have to win that one.

Total: 7-9. I think this is a fair estimate. And if somehow we can get a 3rd win vs. the NFC South, a win at Jacksonville, and a 3rd division win - that gets us to 10-6. Hey, I can dream....

Update

Hi everyone. Sorry for the delay in updates. Let's see if I can catch people up on the news from here:

1. Some of you may know this, but I was struck by a nasty stomach "bacterial infection" about 2 weeks ago. (Actually, it started 2 weeks ago today). It started with a fever, then the chills - and then 24 hours of non-stop vomiting. I could not even keep water down. It took me about 6 days to regain any sort of appetite whatsoever.

It sucks since I was bedridden for 4-5 days and I missed Warren's party at the Ritz Carlton. However, on the bright side - when you don't eat for 6 days, you lose weight! I am down at least 5 kgs so far since I moved here. 5 more of these infections and I will be down to my "recommended" weight!

2. I was able to watch the Barclay's live while I was sick - at 5 am China time on Monday Aug 30. It was on NHK - the Japanese station. They were enamored with Ryuji Imada - I wonder why.

And if you ever wondered how to spell Tiger's name in Japanese -well, this is a screen capture of Tiger's scorecard from NHK's coverage.

3. Yesterday I had Chicken Mushroom soup for lunch - from Pizza Hut. We'll see how smart that decision is.

4. Today I went to lunch at a "hot plate" restaurant, where the meat/rice comes out on a sizzling plate. There are signs that say "Hurry and mix to avoid overcooking!". Um, overcooking is one thing I don't want to avoid right now.

The meal came as a combo, with a drink and a small soft serve ice cream cup! I got the vanilla ice cream with the chocolate topping.....

....or so I thought. It didn't taste like chocolate.

Another sign in the restaurant advertised the soft serve ice cream - with three flavorful toppings!!!! They are:
- Marrow (a brownish color)
- Green Tea (green)
- Black Sesame (black).

I got the Black Sesame, obviously. I'm glad that was the default choice.

5. We got kicked out of our temporary apartment and placed into another temp apartment, since our real place is goign to be ready this weekend. The new temp apartment is at the Ritz. Let's just say that if you are homeless and still not settled, the Ritz is a pretty damn good place to be at.

6. We are listening to "Kids Bop 18" on the way to school - and that's really the only American music I get to listen to. So now I have the whole Kids Bop album memorized in my head.

7. Homework in China for the kids >>> Homework in the US for the kids.

Random Notes & Observations

1. I may have ranted to many of you in the past about this....I am a big $1 coin guy. I hate the wad of dollar bills stuffed in my wallet - and for what? $1 doesn't get much anymore. My solution is to get rid of the $1, bring back the $2, and let Susan B. Anthony be famous again by putting her on a new $1 coin.

Well folks, this is my personal hell here in China.

Coin are very rare. You go into a shop to buy something that costs 6.80 yuan; you give them a 10 yuan bill - and you get 3.20 in change.

That's 3 1-yuan bills, and 2 0.1-yuan bills.

Now - if you take into account the exchange rate;

that's 3 bills worth 16 cents each, and
2 bills worth just under 2 cents each.

My wallet is thinker than the opening day in Vegas. And it's all full of small bills that total $1.47.

I've been giving the boys the 0.1-yuan bills (called "jiao") as payment for silly things like changing the channel on the TV.

2. There is no such thing as a bakery here that will bake cookies for a birthday. As a substitution, I am bringing in strwaberry and mango donuts for Warren's class in honor of his birthday (which was yesterday (but still today for some of you readers)).

3. Warren is having a party this Saturday....at the Ritz-Carlton. Every kid should have a birthday party at the Ritz, no?

4. Reason #46 why I will weigh 300 pounds after this assignment: We visited our new apartment this past Saturday. Hopefully, we can move in for good during this coming weekend. In the complex, there is a conveinience store that has many Western comfort foods, like cereal, tomato sauce, and American (and European) pop.

PS - I love the grapefruit Schweppes soda. I am not joking.

Anyway, the boys and I got ice cream there after the visit (when Janice was picking out drapery patterns for 90 minutes). I opened the ice cream freezer and saw....

oh my....Viennetta.

Viennetta has a special place in my heart (and Steve's heart, too). I'll have to share this story later, but it involved Beavis & Butthead, cards, suggestive advertising and many people at Finast thinking we were homosexuals.

But now that I know that our new place has Vienetta on a stick, I'll be gaining 20 pounds pronto.

5. Cultural references: A lot of reruns are shown here. For instance, I watched the 4th round of the AT&T National this weekend! You may not know this, but Justin Rose won! It only happened 6 weeks ago - and it was telecast on TV last weekend!

Well, apparently, China gets shows 5-10 years after they are popular in the US.

Janice had an off-site work conference for two days. She was wearing a name tag when someone in her department (but does not work for her) came up to her.

"Hi! How do you prononunce your name?"
Uh....Janice. Jan-is.

"Oh, like friends".

Janice first thought he said "French", so she asked what he meant.

"You know, Janice - like friends".

No, she said. What do you mean?

"You know, Friends. Chandler's girlfriend - Janice? The same name?"

So she is slightly mortified that people now associate her name with that character on Friends with the annoying laugh.

Seinfeld

Just a couple of quick notes...

- It seems like everything and anything gets done here through friends - very much how Kramer survives in Seinfeld. I asked my driver to figure out how to unlock my iPhone in order to get it to work over here.

"No Problem. I will do it today while you are at work".
Do you need me to go to a store with you?
"No. I have a friend who does it."

I expected him to say that his name was Bob Sacamano.

But it got unlocked easily (although the warrenty is now voided. Big whoop.). Now, how do I get a SIM card and a China number?

"No problem. You come with me and you can buy that from my friend."
Really? So off we go - into a Guangzhou neighborhood. We stop at a random building and enter a McDonald's. We go up a flight of stairs (most fast food restaurants are multiple floors), and then exit the McDonald's go up another flight.
THere we enter a electronics market, where it's clear I am the oldest there by more than 10 years.

We go to the apple desk. I am presented with a printout of all the China mobile #'s that are available.

"Go ahead - pick what number you want".
OK....hmm...how about this one?
"Fine!"
10 seconds later.... "oh, sorry, that's taken. Pick another?"
OK....how about this one?
"Great!........oh, sorry, that's taken...try this list!"
I am handed another piece of paper.
This one?
"Let's see....... no"

I said in my best Kramer accent: "Why don't you just tell me the number you want me to have?

So - 65 yuan later (about $9), I have unlocked my phone and have a working SIMcard that can now accept calls. No signatures, no documentation. It's nice. Much, much better than the crap we put up with in the US.

By the way - on the trip, I saw my first NFL jersey in Guangzhou. It was a caucasian (he was across the street; don't know if he was American or European)...

.... and he was wearing a Terrell Owens #81 jersey for Buffalo.



(Yesterday, on the street, I saw a 50-something Chinese man wearing a Sacramento Kings shirt with the logo from the late 90s. I am expecting to see a Montreal Expo jersey any day now - or possibly an Akili Smith jersey)

Hello!

Well, we are here in China. I found a way (temporarily) to get into blogspot - as most conventional means of connecting do not let me access blogspot, twitter, facebook, youtube, and others....

It's been a long road with some ups and some downs - and some things still unsettled. The apartment search is still not finalized. I feel like the main character on "Quantum Leap" - maybe this day will finally be the day we gt our permanent residence all finalized. Right now, we do not have a real place to live yet because negotiations between the landlord and P&G are stuck --- regarding insurance, of course. So, as of Sept 2nd, we have no where to live.

Maybe today will be the day with good news......

Anyway, things are going fairly well. School has started already; the boys seem to like it. Our driver is working out well; I understand now why we can't drive here. Multiple times per trip I close my eyes thinking we will get into an accident; and yet, there is no crash.

On the Vegas gambling scale, where "Eric" would be the most conservative driver around, and "Wiz Drunk" is a careening, no-hold-barred driver, I think our driver would be like Don. Sensible, yet I swear he says "be, be aggressive" when called for. THe best move he has made so far is going the wrong way in a traffic circle to get to the other side.

I'll have more later - but wanted everyone to know we are doing fine (as fine as expected). Now the fun begins as we settled down!

Two weeks to go

Well everyone, we're getting close to the bug day. 2 weeks from day we will be leaving for China. It's getting exciting and a bit scary as we frantically try to get everything done. The boys are acting as pin cushions this week as we load them up with shots before the trip.

Been doing a lot of "lasts" before the move:

- Last golf round with Steve and Kermit; had that a couple of weeks ago. I was an idiot and left most of my rain gear in the car - of course, it poured for some of the front 9 and for the last 5 holes. Kermit sank a 15 footer in the pouring rain to beat me, 1 up, but I am protesting for two reasons:
a. I learned in great detail how Kermit worked on his friend's brakes on Saturday - and how that directly impacted his sex life; it impaired the use of his thumb - and I'll leave it at that.
b. Steve got this song stuck in my head for 4 holes on the back nine.

With those thoughts rolling through my head, it's no wonder why I sucked.

- Last trip to the casino with Don/Mike: We did that July 4th weekend; Don's comment was that he was disappointed that Derek's mom never showed up at the table.

A couple of firsts:

- First Skype call: You won't beleive it, but the first Skype call I successfully made was to Leland. I asked Leland if Wiz was on Skype - and Leland said that Wiz barely knows how to type, much less use 21st century technology.

- First Slingbox use: to watch the Golf Channel in my study before the British Open. Wow, it's refreshing to see a piece of technology that promises so much deliver on that promise! It was easy to set up - and the picture quality was great.

The test was to watch my living room TV in my computer room. That's a distance of, oh, 12,500 millimeters. Now the real life test will be to watch from a distance of 12,500 miles....

St. Andrews

I have a lot to blog about, but I thought this was timely.

Someone asked a British golf writer (his name is Michael Corcoran) what his thoughts are on St. Andrews. The candid, politically-incorrect response:

One thing no one likes to say but is so obviously true is that the Old Course is easy, too easy, unless there's gale force winds. ALL of the courses on the rota, save Carnoustie and Muirfield, are easy without wind, but in average weather--even with normal 20 mph winds for the setting--the Old Course, beloved as it is, is just a pitch and putt with deep bunkers and one hard hole. People get all caught up in the romance of it, and the town is the ultimate setting for the Open, but the course itself isn't even the best course in town. It was more mysterious and challenging before the big changes in equipment, but for modern players using modern gear, the course offers no more challenge than your local muni. Everyday players who get a chance to play it are blinded by their lifelong desire to play it, and for a hacker it's still a tough round. But a solid single-digit handicapper can easily go around there in the 70s even on the first try if there isn't major wind, and if they don't hyperventilate from all the romance. They'll never stop playing the Open there, but it's the least challenging venue used for any of the majors by far. It's like a Man o' War battling a nuclear aircraft carrier. The Man o' War has all the spooky legends and "hold fast" crap going for it, then gets sunk in five minutes by superior technology. It's true they all play the same course, even if the weather changes during the day, so it's still fair, but the Old is the only course in championship golf where a player can be several clicks off his game and not only compete, but perhaps even win. That's why this week is Tiger's best chance this year. Not because he's awesome or will overcome tremendous adversity etc., but because the Old, barring a hurricane, is easy. Like he likes his women.


Well - Mr. Corcoran - tell us how you really feel!

The signing

Well, I'm sure most of you have heard the news by now. A big signing occured today that imapacts Cleveland sports....

yes! Bobby Engram signed as a free agent! He's the veteran 3rd WR that may be able to help Robiskie and Massaquoi grow and develop. Delhomme to Engram for 6!

Several things strike me as puzzling about the whole deal today...

1. LeBron makes such a big deal about this prime time special - and all the news this morning was a "leak" that he would sign with the Heat. How did he allow a leak to come out and upstage this show?

2. Jim Gray? Cmon....where is Craig Sager when you need him?

3. Match Game time! Fill in the blank. "The Miami Heat is _______'s team". If you said Dwyane Wade, you matched Nipset Russel, Charles Nelson Reilly, Vicki Lawrence, and Richard Dawson. Elaine Joyce said "Pat Riley", and Brett Sommers was drunk - she answered "Rony Seikaly".

Point is - it's not clear who the "alpha dog" is on this team. Is that really what LeBron wants?

4. Oh, he talked about challenge. "This presents the greatest challenge out there for me - going to Miami with Wade and Bosh to win".

Um, excuse me. Yes, you may be able to win with Wade and Bosh. But this is not a huge challenge.

It is now crystal clear that the toughest challenge in team sports for any athlete is to win a championship in the city of Cleveland. Many great athletes have tried in the past - and failed. Athletes who have won before - and after - their stay in Cleveland have all failed since 1964.

Going to Miami is like playing the Masters from the forward tees - it may help you win, but it's not a challenge. If you truly wanted a "great" challenge like you say, then stay in Cleveland and play the Masters with persimmon woods and a balata ball.

It's not the decision that pisses me off - it's the spectacle and the lies associated with it.

John Deere

How about Goydos -10 under through 16? Could he shoot a 59?

Parenting Question

So -

Do I let (or make) Freddie (who is 9, by the way) watch the LeBron show tonight?

I think it will hurt him - not crush him, but he will be very disappointed.

Is it time to expose him to the Cleveland curse with sporting events? Losing to the Lions on an untimed play is one thing - losing the biggest superstar the city has ever had is completely another.

For the record, my first memory of a crushing blow for Cleveland sports was the Red Right 88 game vs. Oakland in 1981. I, too, was 9.

Decision Time

Dear LeBron,

I’m not going to watch your TV show on Thursday evening because my wife already told me your answer. (There is no way this guy drags out this story, then books a 1 hour TV show to kick Cleveland in the mouth) You are staying in Cleveland to play for the Cavaliers. To that I say Thank You.

As we look forward to the future, let me start with this …I forgive you for quitting during the Celtics series. Before you say anything, just stop. We all know you quit. Every sports writer in America is afraid to call you out on that one. Before you start talking about your stats in the last 2 games, you can get a triple double whenever you want, but that doesn’t mean your team will win. Bottom line, you didn’t do enough. I’m glad you realize the fans of Chicago or New York would eat you alive.

I have no idea what occurred in the locker room to turn off the fire. Whatever, whomever, the cancer, make sure its gone by the time camp opens.

About last nigh

Had a terrible nightmare last night....

So I'm in Vegas at the Mirage with the normal group. Eric, Wiz, Mike, Lee, and I go to the UTH table. Don is playing Craps by himself across the way. Don't know why he isn't playing with us.

We are playing for a while and I'm on a tremendous run. Up probably a couple of grand and the dealer decides to take a break. But instead of having another dealer step up in his place, the dealer turns the table over to Eric. But Eric doesn't move out of his seat, he just deals the cards sitting right next to me. So the next hand I think I was playing $500 in each the blind and the ante. Anyway, the next hand I get a full house and the dealer has a straight. The rest of the table losses and Eric then proceeds to return everyones' blind. And I can still remember vividly the following exchange:

Derek: Ummmm Eric, what the heck are you doing? The dealer qualifies.
Eric: No he doesn't. The dealer doesn't have a pair.
Derek: I know he doesn't have a pair, he has a straight
Eric: Doesn't matter. The dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: What the fuck. The dealer has better than a pair. He qualifies. Now return the blinds.
Eric: Nope
Derek: Wiz, what is Eric's problem?
Wiz: Nothings wrong with Eric. The dealer doesn't qualify.
Derek: WHAT!!!! The dealer has a straight!!!!
Wiz: I know, but the dealer needs to have a pair.
Derek: Lee....Come on. Help me out. This is crazy.
Lee: I hate this game. I'm just here for the company. I don't know the rules.
Derek: Mike?
Mike: I lost the hand so I don't care.
Derek: Pit Boss, come on over here.
Pit Boss: Yup. The dealer doesn't qualify since he doesn't have a pair.
Derek: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are just doing this because you lost the hand and I'm the only one that won.
Eric: Well......

And then I wake up. No joke I was so pissed off I almost called Eric to yell at him, but I didn't want to wake up Carol. I was so bothered by this, I couldn't fall back to sleep and was stuck watching Morning Joe for an hour.

World Cup Update

Just one question before we get started:

So who is in charge of duct-taping the numbers on the back of Holland's jerseys? Goodness, they look like graphics that show the prices at a Gulf gas station from 1979.

We have a new leader!

Craig: 19 pts in group play + 6 pts in knockout play = 25 (Holland is still left)
Don: 22 + 2 = 24 (out)
Eric: 18 + 4 = 22 (Germany)
Mike: 16 + 6 = 22 (Uruguay)
Layup: 18 + 0 = 18 (out)
Wiz: 15 + 2 = 17 (out)
Leland: 10 + 4 = 14 (Spain)
Ryan: 12 + 0 = 12 (out)

Side pool update coming via email.

World Cup Update, Day 15 - End of Group Play

Remember to send your knockout round predictions to me-with the tiebreaker being the total # of goals scored in all games of the knockout round - by 9:30 Saturday.

Don: 9-4-6-3 = 22 (2 alive)
Craig: 9-5-4-1 = 19 (3 alive)
Eric: 6-4-4-4 = 18 (4 alive)
Layup: 5-3-4-6 = 18 (2 alive)
Mike: 7-7-1-1 = 16 (2 alive)
Wiz: 1-5-5-4 = 15 (2 alive)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (0 alive)
Leland: 6-4-0-0 = 10 (1 alive)

You know, there should be an NIT bracket as well for the bottom 8 teams. What would that look like?

(1) Serbia vs (8) North Korea
(4) Nigeria vs (5) France
(2) Italy vs (7) Honduras
(3) Algeria vs (6) Cameroon

Total goals scored in this tournament: 2, maybe.

World Cup Update, Day 13

If this doesn't give you goose bumps.....


Don: 9-4-6-2 = 21 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Craig: 6-5-4-0 = 15 (3 in)
Eric: 6-4-1-4 = 15 (3 in)
Mike: 6-7-1-1 = 15 (2 in, 2 eliminated)
Layup: 5-3-4-3 = 15 (1 in, 1 eliminated)
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12 (3 eliminated)
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12 (1 eliminated)
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4 (2 eliminated)

World Cup Update, Day 11 - End of Round 2

Here are the scores at the end of Round 2:

Don: 6-1-6-2 = 15
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Wiz: 1-4-4-3 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Leland: 3-1-0-0 = 4

Let me know if there are errors!

World Cup Update, Day 10

Great US Open. It's strangely fascinating to see an 80+ round out of the final group, like Gore and Goosen in 05 and now Dustin this year. It shouldn't happen every year, but once in a while keeps us all on edge.

(And by the way - Dustin's caddy should get $0 for his lack of performance between the chips on 2 and the lip out on 4. Where was he?)

One unexpected question has popped up about the scoring in the World Cup Pool: what happens in a forfeit? I think any team that forfeits loses 5 points in our pool. Bonjour, Wiz!

Don: 6-1-3-2 = 12
Ryan: 2-3-3-4 = 12
Craig: 6-2-4-0 = 12
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Mike: 6-4-0-1 = 11
Layup: 2-3-1-3 = 9
Wiz: 1-1-4-3 = 9
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1


Leland and Wiz has 2 games in hand; Don and Craig have 1 game in hand.

World Cup Update - Day 7

Love the way the US Open is setting up. -2 the leading score after 18? Love it. I think the winning score will be even.

Here are the standings; first, the official standings after the 1st round games. The four numbers are the points accumulated by your four picks, in order.

Don: 3-1-3-1 = 8
Eric: 3-1-1-3 = 8
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Mike: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Ryan: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1

And now up to the minute standings:

Don: 6-1-3-1 = 11
Eric: 3-4-1-3 = 11
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Mike: 3-4-0-0 = 7
Ryan: 1-0-3-3 = 7
Wiz: 1-1-1-3 = 6
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Leland: 0-1-0-0 = 1

World Cup Update, Day 4

You know that financial advice you hear - you should hang on to tax returns for 7 years?

That's the truth. Just got a letter from our good friends in Columbus that they don't have a tax return for me from 2004 and 2005! If I can't prove why I didn't file an Ohio tax return, I'm going to get all sorts of penalties. Nice.

Eric: 3-1-0-3 = 7
Craig: 3-1-3-0 = 7
Don: 3-1-0-0 = 4
Layup: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Ryan: 1-0-0-3 = 4
Wiz: 1-0-1-0 = 2
Mike: 0-1-0-0 = 1
Leland: 0-0-0-0 = 0

Can We Talk About Something That Actually Matters...?

...you know, something like a photographic investigation of Sarah Palin's boobs?

Oh, and eff Japan.

World Cup Update, Day 2

Should we be happy with that result? I say yes, others say no - that the US should have won. I'm not sure.

I am happy with South Korea's effort!

Eric 0-1-0-3 = 4
Don 3-1-0-0 = 4
Mike 0-1-0-0 = 1
Craig 0-1-0-0 = 1
Wiz 1-0-0-0 = 1
Layup 1-0-0-0 = 1
Ryan 0-0-0-0 = 0
Leland 0-0-0-0 = 0

Ramblings

This site is going to die once Eric goes to china right? We are going to be forced to go to China's version of a blog where Eric will be restricted on commenting on anything other than how great baccarat is and the importance of putting enough top spin on a ping pong ball.

A couple of comments before Morgan wakes up:

1. Doesn't Maradona look and act like an older fatter mr. Diangelo?
2. Listening to soccer on the radio is the worst thing ever. I tried listening to the Mexico South Africa game yesterday on the way into work and it sounded like a bee hive in my car. Plus I don't know anyone so it was worthless.
3. Heard that the world cup will bring in 4 billion. This is nothing compared to the 19 billion the NFL brings in over the same time frame.
3. Interviewing babysitters this past week. Lots of fun. Trying to figure out which 20 year old girl won't bring her boyfriend over and screw on my bed. Found a nice 22 year old Jewish girl with a big nose who is involved in her temple to take the lead. Let's hope for the best.
4. Morgan went to Vegas before her 6 month b day! Forgot the baby holder at home wanted to play craps while she was strapped on my back.

World Cup Update - Day 1

Here is the update after day 1. The winners? Everyone who didn't have a team going, since no one got 3 points for the win.

I've broken down the points scored in their order of being picked by the owner - so if your first "pick" gets less than Don's last pick, that's no good - no good at all.

Eric 0-1-0-0 = 1
Mike 0-1-0-0 = 1
Don 0-1-0-0 = 1
Wiz 1-0-0-0 = 1
Layup 0-0-0-0 = 0
Ryan 0-0-0-0 = 0
Craig 0-0-0-0 = 0
Leland 0-0-0-0 = 0

I'll try to update every day.

The Dominos are starting to fall

What will NCAA football (and basketball) look like in 2012? Who knows? The first domino fell today with Nebraska going to the Big 10, and now Colorado has gone to the Pac 10.

Where will it stop? Nobody really knows. However, I laughed so hard when I read this from Stewart Mandel on cnnsi:


While it's entirely possible the Huskers will be joined by two to four other newcomers by year's end -- be it Notre Dame, Rutgers, Maryland, Missouri or Syracuse -- for now, Nebraska's addition appears to be largely Delany's way of making a splash.


Wait, what?

Maryland in the Big 10? Oh my, will that shut up the coastal elites like Leland, Layup and others....

World Cup Draft

Here we go! Here are the teams for our 2nd (?) World Cup pool. Names listed in order of picking so one can reconstruct the draft if they so choose.

Mike: Brazil, Uruguay, Nigeria, Algeria
Don: Argentina, South Africa, Chile, New Zealand
Leland: Spain, Cote d'Ivoire, Cameroon, North Korea
Layup: England, Denmark, Australia, Japan
Ryan: Italy, Serbia, Greece, Slovenia
Craig: Netherlands, USA, Ghana, Honduras
Wiz: France, Portugal, Paraguay, Switzerland
Eric: Germany, Mexico, Slovakia, South Korea

Early lines for total number of wins in pool play:

Mike: 5.5
Don: 5.5
Leland: 5
Layup: 5.5
Ryan: 5.5
Craig: 5
Wiz: 4
Eric: 5

The dangers of home scanners

So a college friend of mine finally scanned in some of his pictures from Case and sent them out to a group of us. Wow - we were so young 20 years ago.

Of course, many of them are embarassing. I feel like, for full disclosure, I should put one of them on the blog.

But jees, even this one puts me in a bad light. I mean, my God, why am I wearing a Penn State sweatshirt?

And I guess if I ever feel overweight, all I have to do is to look at this picture and I will feel better.

Does Layup Write For Deadspin?

What are the odds that I would be the next person to blog after Eric? 10-1? 20-1?

Anyhoo, I read this article on Deadspin today and it made me think that Layup wrote it. Especially the "Great Moment in Poop History" part of the article. It's long as shit, but pretty damn funny.

BTW, I'm in Orlando this week for a work conference and I hate this fucking place. Chain restaurants everywhere, it's hot as fuck (went for a run at 6:15am and it was 75 degrees and about 80% humidity), and it's fat-ass WT central. Went to a work party at the Universal CityWalk and it was WT fat asses as far as you could see. Is there a state with more WT than Florida? West Virginia, maybe?

Advice to the Republicans

If I may, a couple of words of advice to the Republicans if they want to win in November, 2010:

1. A lot of people are investigating and criticizing the deals that Obama and the White House may or may not have made to keep Senate priamry challengers out in Pennsylvania and (maybe) Colorado. Apparently, the White House offered Joe Sestak (PA) and Andrew Romanoff (CO) some sort of job (maybe) if they would drop their challenge to the preferred Democrtatic incumbent candidate. Both Sestak and Romanoff declined; Sestak won the primary in PA and the CO primary is in August.

Many in the Republican side want to highlight this as a scandal, and call for congressional investigations into the matter.

My advice: drop it.

My first gut rule of scandals: Can you summarize the "scandal" nicely in one sentence to someone who is impartial?

I think this is a very good rule for any scandal. I believe this is why the Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame "scandal" never caught on. How do you summarize that in one sentence? You couldn't. If it's too hard to explain, it's not going to catch on.

Can you summarize this Obama scandal here? What would you say? "Obama is trying to use his power to pull strings and get opponents out of the Democratic primary!"

The obvious response: "So?"

What's illegal here? What's the wrong doing?

The Republicans do have a point when they say that Obama claimed to be "a different kind of politician....not going to be politics-as-usual", and then they admit to possbily dangling jobs out there to get people to drop out. That's a fair critique...but save that for the campaign. That's not worthy of investigation.

Just note these incidents, get sound bites from Gibbs/Sestak/others, and build your campaign commercials for 2010 and 2012 - and move on.

2. What the Republicans should focus on is his handling of the Oil Spill since the news conference. Boy, has Obama mishandled this. Is he, or is he not in charge? Did he fire the head of the MMS? Does the buck stop at Obama? Is it his responsibility?

Obama's news conference last week sent the message that he is in charge; he is leading the efforts, and he is responsible. Here are the quotes:

"My job is to get this fixed."
"I ultimately take responsibility for this effort, and the buck stops with me".

Great. So what are the two key actions that people see him doing after that news conference?

1. The day after the news conference, the Attoney General announces the government will go ahead and investigate criminal charges against BP.

Now, there's probably some validity to that investigation, as laws may have been broken....but tell me how exactly throwing the book at them NOW will help to speed up the process to get the spill fixed? Why not wait for it to be fixed - you will need their help, by the way - until announcing criminal charges?

This is a distraction from the true task of plugging the hole.

2. Two days ago, President Obama was seen at the White House at a honorary concert for Paul McCartney. The President was dancing on stage, singing, partying - even enjoying the political potshots being lobbed by the honoree, Mr. McCartney. "It's good to have an occupant at the White House who knows what a library is for!" said Mr. McCartney. Laughs all around.

That is a very stark contrast to the continual oil flow coming out of the pipe in the ocean.

How exactly is the buck stopping with you, Mr. President, if you find time to yuk it up with Paul McCartney? That visual says more than 1000 words, and the Republicans should exploit that as much as possible to their advantage.

Drop the Sestak investigation and hammer at the incompetence theme - partying while the well is still leaking.

One more China note

As we had our tour of the school, things were going well. The classrooms looked like any normal American classroom, the hallways were outside - very much like my high school in Sacramento - the cafeteria seemed similar....

then we went to the gym.

My first, immediate thought:

My God, my boys will be learning to play basketball with the international trapezoidal lane instead of the good old-fashioned American rectangular lane! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!