Vegas Diary, Part 4

And we come to the conclusion of the diary from Vegas. I finally have time to finish this up before we move on to other topics.

Sunday started again with an early wakeup - I think the most sleep I got on one night was 5 hours - and to the Pai Gow tables with the Cantonese dealer. After a gigantic Chocolate Chip muffin, a few of us -Jay, Laura, Wiz, Layup? - found ourselves at the Blackjack Switch table.

I have to be honest - I am starting to love this game. There is a lot of strategy involved here. Dealer has a 8 up, you have 9-8 and 10-10. What do you do? Do you take the 20 off the board, and go to a 19 & 18?

What about the dealer having a 4 up, and you have 10-3 and A-8? Split and double? Or stand with your 19? Wiz and I got into many discussions on how to play these. It was clear that he comes from the aggresive Sean Payton coaching tree - take away "sure" winners to double in advantageous spots; I obviously come from the Marty Schottenheimer tree - protecting "sure" winners if you got them.

(By the way, if Wiz ever made his own BJ card, I 'm sure it owuld look something like this to the right.)

This was also the scene of our rules discussion with the dealers/pit boss. As most of you know, in black jack switch, everyone pushes if the dealer has 22. I think the felt says "dealer pushes on 22".

Well, our dealer had an Ace showing, then turned over another ace, then a 10.....A hard 12, and a soft 22. Isn't that a push for everyone? We stopped her before she turned another card.

She was puzzled, then realized what we were saying. The first pit boss came over (Eleanor, I think), and after much discussion, she said the dealer has to hit. This is played as 12, according to the casino.

But why? The felt does not say hard 22 - it says 22. We played it out, and this pit boss understood our point at least, and would check into it.

Another pit boss - a black lady - came over and we presented out case to her. She was incredulous that we would even think this is a valid argument. This is 12! She almost shouted those words multiple times.

Here is a link to a Wizard of Vegas post where I presented the case - and most of the responses are against me.

At the same time, Don and Mike are playing UTH across the pit. The black lady goes over there - and with her back to us - presumably start talking to Don and Mike about the idiots at black jack switch that insist 12 is 22. The nerve! As Don and Mike are listening while grimacing, I spot Don over there and raise my hand - Hi Don! How's it going?

Don wanted to slither under the table at that point rather than acknowledge he was with us.

Off to golf, and a terrible round at Bali Hai. The course is nice - I like the fact that if you miss a fairway you are not "dead" and lost a ball. However, the planes taking off from McCarran detract from the experience - a LOT.

I have to say I love my new driver - when I hit it. When I hit it, I'm at least keeping up with Don and Mike (which is better than in recent years). However, the timing is all off right now, and I'm either duck hooking it or producing an awful block. Wiz gave me some "good" advice: "A duck is always better than a block". Next tee shot: 150 yds dead left. Thanks, ass.

Back to the Mirage and ( I believe) the best meal of the trip - the buffet. That's a tradition we should keep - the Sunday evening buffet. After that, where else but UTH? The group got the table for a few hours - however, the eye candy was lacking this night as well. Apparently, the dealer said Sunday Night at Revolution is "transvestite night" or something to that effect.

Well, I made a nice profit at the table, and was getting a little bored....and I saw Leland standing there waiting for something......... "Craps run? " I said to Leland. Of course. Off we went.

We found an empty $15 table that was joined quickly by an odd assortment of people - three college age kids to my right, a foreign couple on Leland's side, a semi-high roller with a female escort. After a bit, the table warmed up pretty nicely. It was never on fire but it was warm for a good 2 hours. The shooters made about 2-3 points each, lots of numbers, and then sevened out. And this repeated for 8-10 shooters. No one had the dice for over 15 minutes, but everyone had them for at least 10. (And oh my God - the field was on fire. My horn high ace deuce - my personal crack cocaine - was coming through, and this kid next to me was making a mint on the field. He turned $100 into $500 quickly, mostly on the field bets.)

Well, we left making another nice profit - my first yellow chip (and my camera didn't work!). After cashing out, I was considering going upstairs - but then I see Leland hanging out at a BJ table with John the Dealer dealing. Leland wasn't playing, but he seemed to think this was a hotel bar where he could ust lounge around for an hour or so.

The table was empty - so why not? I jumped in. it was not the minimums I was used to, so I was a bit cautious with the outlay. I lost the first hand - but then I got on a roll. Finally! After 4-5 years of getting smoked at Pai Gow by John, I was actually winning. He went on break after 20 minutes, and I more than doubled my outlay. That was a good signal to leave for the night.

Monday - Layup actually got up, showered and left before I got out of bed! A first! After some leisurely candy shopping and packing, I headed to the UTH table - alone - for one last session. The table was empty when I started playing - but then a drunk 20-something guy came around. He was yelling "Butt Scratcher!" just like the Family Guy episode. For whatever reason, he stopped at my table. He offered me one ("no thanks"), and offered the dealer one. She actaulyl took it and scratched her back with it.

He was clearly drunk and a leftover from the night before. He was wearing a shirt that said "Swallow, or it gets in your eye!". However, he seemed mesmerized by UTH. He watched me for about 10 minutes, trying to learn the game; I finally convinced him to sit down and play. We both were winning, as I left for the airport up for the fourth session in a row, and Mr. ButtScratcher had almost doubled his money.

Saturday night note

Can't believe I forgot that this was part of Saturday night! I would wager that no one will ever see this again - a Royal on the board in UTH!!!

None of us were playing the trips - the old man in the upper left corner was, so he got paid $750 for his $15 trips bet.

If I held that King of Hearts and the other 4 cards to the royal were on the board, it would have been worth $7500.

However, even though this board looks great, it was just a push to all of us since we tied the dealer with a Royal.

Quick note to new parents

Just a word of advice:

If you need to get a passport for your child, get the passport before the kid is 9 months old; or else wait until the kid is 3.

Trying to get a passport photo - which requires the child to be still, leaning back up against a background - is damn near impossible when the kid is 18 months old.

Vegas Diary, Part 3

Before we move on to Saturday, two quick notes:

1. I have been advised that the incident at the UTH table with Blue Shirt guy was Thursday night, not Friday. Wiz and Layup swear they did not gamble after returning from the MGM on Friday night. Now that I think about it, they're right.

2. Freddie's basketball coach was in Vegas the same weekend. Most of you were aware that he invited us to a block party at O'Sheas on Wed night when we arrived. (I politely said "hmmm, we may not get in until later...I'll have to think about it).

I texted him before dinner on Friday to see where he was if he wanted to get together on Friday at some time. He wrote back - at that time - that he was partying at the Hard Rock. Well, with all of the delays, and dinner going way late, I never texted him back.

I saw him at the batting cages last weekend -and I asked him how it went. He said it's probably a good thing we didn't meet up, because........

(go into Gene Rayburn Voice)

Their group got so wasted...

how wasted were they?

They got so wasted that his brother was thrown out of the Excalibur hotel.

I mean, just think about that for a second. Thrown out of the Excalibur.

Ok, now on to

Saturday

The day opened as usual, with relaxing Pai Gow. I met two spearate dealers who were from Guangzhou, China - and I learned some things (but not too much) about that city that will be useful in the short term.

After winning a bit, over to the UTH table, where the Jerry Lewis Telethon (R) was just beginning! I think I was there during the first hour (but not the start) of the 12 hour UTH marathon. It was a bad start for all of us, and I picked up and left after about an hour or so.

Next up was a massage! So I hate to embarass myself on the blog (what else is new? -ed), but I have to relate this story to see if anyone else feels the way I do.

So I went upstairs to change clothes, and came back down to the spa with my bathing suit in hand. The locker room attendant told me that I was free to use the facilities, including the whirlpool - here's your robe, and towels are over there. No suit required.

Um - what? I asked him to repeat. I don't need a suit?

No, was the answer.

OK, I guess. It felt weird at the beginning. I confess, I haven't been in a male-only spa before. I got used to it fairly quickly - except for the fact of rooting for St Mary's with total strangers while only wearing a robe - but it was just an odd feeling to being with.

So after the massage and the spa experience, I headed over to the UTH table - suit in hand. And I carried my suit around for most of the afternoon - to the UTH table, to the book, I think I even played craps while laying my suit on the rail.

After the massage, the team was in hour 4 of the telethon - and the tote board was negative. I joined in the fun - and promptly got killed again. That's when I got hungry, and Laura ordered deli sandwiches for us.

I headed to the book to place more bets, and lingered - and came back and the sandwich was waiting there. What better place to scarf down a huge deli sandwich than standing up next to the UTH table!

I dipped my toe into the UTH pool again around hour 6 - and got it chopped off. No more. I swore UTH for the rest of the telethon. I think Leland swore it off as well, so we both headed over to the Craps table, quickly joined by Mike and Laura.

(I distinctly remember at least 4 times during this trip where Leland, Mike, Laura and I were at the craps table while the other 4 were over at UTH. Not exactly sure what that meant.)

Standing next to us at the craps table was a group of 3 guys here on a business trip, sharing one bankroll. It was funny at first to listen to them argue on how they were going to bet ("Press! Go to 25! Hard 6 now!") but after 15 minutes of the same antics, it got old. Fortunately, we were winning, so it was tolerable. It ended up being just one guy at the craps table with another guy standing on a slot machine chair shouting directions down to the guy at the table.

(Also - with the point being 5 - I kept singing the Subway 5 dollar foot long song for 15 straight rolls, as the female shooter refused to hit the point or seven out.)

Well, by now, the disaster of the UTH table was long forgotten, my big sports bets (why Leland and I didn't go 4 digits on Kentucky -9 vs Wake? )were coming in, and I was feelign pretty good after 14 Strwaberry Daiquiris at the UTH table and 5 Tom Collinses (yes, this drink made a comeback this trip!) at the craps table. On to Pai Gow.

It was 7 pm or so, I only had that turkey sandwich all day, and I was getting a bit drunk. In Pai Gow, if you have a good bottom hand - like a flush or a striaght - your top 2 cards are usually going to suck. Many players call this being "topless".

Well, I decided to act this out. I got a heart flush on the bottom and 5-3 up top. I turned to Leland and Jay to my right.

"You know what my top hand is?"

No, they answered.

I lifted up my shirt. "Topless!"

As Jay said, there are things he can't unsee.

Well, I thought I was hilarious that first time, so I repeated it at least 6 more times. I thought it was just as funny as the first - I'm sure Leland and Jay did not agree.

By the 4th time, I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't see out of my contacts. I just lost it for a good 2-3 minutes. The waitress hated me, I'm sure the dealer didn't like it, and (most embarrasingly) the guy at the other end of the table - who was betting $1000/hand, sometimes $5000 - did not like it.

Here he is, with a $40,000 stake at the table, and a drunk idiot is giggling and lifting up his shirt. A proud moment for me. There was one other time I completely lost my emotions in Vegas - 2004, shortly after the stressful move to Iowa and I was convinced on this trip that Steve and Kermit were conspiring against me - but that was more of a breakdown. This was just......immaturity.

(And do I regret it? Ummmmmm......no.)

With the UTH Marathon ending, we headed to Dos Caminos for dinner, which is always a letdown. The chips and guacamole are soooooooo good, it overshadows the dinner. My dinner came - and it was just ok. Dry beef. I don't know why I ordered what I ordered.

Back to the Mirage for the annual Satuday night $25 craps run, with predictable results. I was the worst roller of the group - actually, I sucked all trip in rolling. The auction that Layup detailed was memorable. My "Here we go, Hard 6, here we go" caught on for the first 4-5 rolls but then no one else had the energy to sustain for the rest of the rolls. Disappointing.

I have in my notes here that we went back to the UTH table after this; I was about 80% asleep. I think Wiz called this Bizarro Saturday night, as the eye candy we were expecting did not show up. It seemed like everyone weighed about 75 pounds more than we remembered from past Saturday nights.

Vegas Diary, Part 2

As we continue....

Friday

As usual, we start bright and early in the sportsbook at 5:00 in the morning. This time, it is a chocloate milk and V8.

Started the gambling day off with $25 BJ with everyone at a table - and promptly got destroyed. The start of a bad day? After a break - to the craps table, with Leland and Mike (and Laura) - in one of many craps runs with Leland. Got destroyed there.

Time for a break. Watched some games up in the room, like the end of the X-Minnesota game. Tried to take a nap, but my body wasn't having any of it. I had Temple (loser), Temple under (loser), X over (loser), and X. With 1 minute left, it was 65-52 X, so I turned it off and tried to sleep.

10 minutes later, my Dad texts me. "What a finish to the X game!".

Oh dear - did I go 0 - for - 4?

I check my phone - 67-53 was the final. X wins and covers, but the over did not hit. Just as I thought.

I texted Dad back. "What do you mean?"

"You got the over in the X game!" was the response.

Uh no, Dad, you are looking at the Temple game.

So with that conversation, my nap was officially ruined. As I was leaving to go downstairs, Layup came in - and he tried to nap. I was well awake by then and started officiating in the room for 30 minutes, keeping him awake. Finally, he said:

"Weren't you getting the hell out of here 20 minutes ago?"

Oh, yes. I wanted to take a break from gambling, so down to the book I went. Watched most of the afternoon games down there - Purdue-Siena (it was clear that 90% of the audience has Siena), Missouri-Clemson (the over in that game was the 2nd best lock of the week), Oakland-Pitt (a double loser), and Wofford-Wisconsin, where it was clear that 99% of the book could not care less about the game. I was the only one cheering any Wofford score as they covered and almost won outright.

I was by myself, stadning and watching the games peacefully, when a group of friends started to form in front of me. There were about 5-6 of them, 4 guys and 2 ladies, all in their mid 30's or so. Well, the two women started talking. And it wasn't about basketball. They were from California and started talking about La Jolla, the coast, where a recpetion would be, what parties were held next month - oh! it will be on the ocean!

And they were talking loud - trying to hold a converstaion in the book on NCAA weekend. I was fuming. But the games I was wagering on were looking good - so I couldn't move, could I? I just had to stand there and take the vocal abuse from the "Wives of OC" wannabes. Mike finally showed up and he was subjected to the noise for a while until the games ended.

It's a Vegas trip, so it was time for the $5 Columbus Blue Jackets gift for everyone! $5 on Columbus +1.5 at +200. A 3-goal third made everyone a winner on this trip (for the first time!)

Another meal for the day (my fourth, I think, which includes the V-8, Bouchon, a snack during the games, and now CPK), and a quick UTH run before heading to the MGM for dinner.

We got there around 6 or so. I had nothing on the Maryland game - but the "first to 15" bet intrigued me. Who would be the first to hit 15 points? Maryland was -170. This seems like a good bet - I figured Maryland would come out fast and get to a big lead, and then hang on at the end.

"Fast" is not what I would describe those first 10 minutes of the game. It was like a good tennis match between two baseline players. 5-4 Maryland. 6-5 Houston. 7-6. 8-7. 9-8. Would they hit it by halftime? Houston hit a three to go up 15-13, and that was that.

The MGM book was weird. I think I had a sign on me that said: "If you are black, talk to me!". During the game, a drunk black guy said something to me about Laura (who was next to me), and I think he said she's hot, obviously thinking she and I were an item. "Pardon me?" I said. He then apologized 11 times and walked away, and I was still flummoxed. After dinner another large black man was my best friend because we were both rooting for Syracuse. We need skyboxes in the sportsbook so we don't have to mingle with the hoi polloi.

More disaster with Mike at Blackjack where our dealer was threatened by a losing patron (although this was $15, and not the disaster of $50 that Wiz/Layup were dealing with). After getting out there after dinner, it was back to the UTH table for a final session that night - and a memorable story of our boorishness.

The location of our table was a prime one - right on the corner near the nightclub Revolution, so it was a good spot to see all the possible matchmaking that could go on. Three ladies stumbled out of the club - and the middle one was obviously drunk. A young guy, about 22 in a blue shirt, tried to make his move on the girl in the middle. All 5 of us were watching this last-ditch attempt by our blue shirt friend.

He failed. The ladies dragged the middle girl away and up the stairs. Immediately, we loudly booed the poor guy. "Boooooo! Sorry for your luck!" Startled (and drunk), he walked over and sat at the table (right next to me). He tried to defend himself, but he couldn't. And he was losing consciousness. He slumped in his chair, closed his eyes - but no, he awoke. He leaned over - Wiz put the odds of a puke at -110 - but no, he straightened. He tried to place a bet at the table - he pulled out two wadded $1 bills (at a $15 minimum table) - but then thought better of that.

After about 10 minutes, he arose and said "don't worry, I'll be back.". I set the line at 5-1 against him coming back in 10 minutes. Derek said yes, Wiz said no.

He never showed. I wonder what happened to him......

And now for the rest of the story

This trip was one for career highs in winning and losing. I just outlined my amazing craps run, so now lets highlight my losses. I only had one other winning session for the entire trip.

1. UTH Marathon: Saturday morning at 8:00am-8:00pm Wiz and I had a Jerry Lewis telethon going at the UTH table. Disaster struck both of us within the first hour and we were both scared that we wouldn't make it through even 3 hours. Some classic things came from this session:

• 6 and 9 down cards= Mrs. Zahn. Classic. And heaven forbid that a 6 or 9 came up on the flop and then it turned into a graphic letter to the editor to Playboy.
• Discussion between the table on what item would be shoved up our ass by the dealer when we went in 4 X pre flop. There were stretches where the dealer was pulling full houses and quads to beat any type of hand we had. Ugh.
• Take out. Nothing better than plowing through a full pizza by myself table side. I'm surprised I didn't get sick. And then watching Eric run around the casino with a half of turkey sandwich, almost made me throw up. Not that he was eating the sandwich, but that he was walking around in the casino with it.
• Announcing by Eric and company as if the UTH table was a golf tourney. Classic.

2. Rest of UTH: 90% of my gaming involved UTH. And I lost my ass. I'm sure this was the same for Wiz, Don, and Mike. I gambled with Don and Mike more this trip than all other trips combined. And it was a blast. Don't think I can go back to playing pai gow as the game to get drunk on while gambling. Too slow. Some other highlights:

• Our mutual hatred for many of the dealers: Thought that I got some dealer fired due to an integrity issue on a payout that I tried to give back. I was also told by one of the dealers that my wife will divorce me because I came out to Vegas without her.
• Other players at the table- Grandma and Grandpa were there again. Carol and I gambled with them in November. They smell, complain, and are just terrible people.
• Don might be elected into the Vegas hall of fame for the creation of the UTH card.
• One dealer told us a story about losing $4,000 to quad 5's during a real poker game and his next hand he dealt was quad 5s. He wasn't too happy.
• Hovering- Two DBs stood there and laughed at Wiz, Don, and I when the dealer pulled quads that bet all of our full houses, with me then looking at them and saying some very choice words. We almost had another slot machine incident.
• The blame game- Loved blaming the person next to you for getting the same cards as you have. Nothing is better. And there is nothing worse than someone not working as a team at the table. Hiding their cards and not sharing. Ugh. I think I'm going to make a Norms and Values card to share with the table on proper table behavior.

2. BlackJack (Session 1): Only had two sessions and got absolutely destroyed. That's actually an understatement. On Thursday night I was so desperate to play BJ, that Wiz and I sat at an empty table that was in a high foot traffic area. It was so bad that someone with a suitcase clipped my chair as they were walking by. And it wasn't like I was playing $10 BJ. I was playing $100 a hand. And I get clipped by a fucking suitcase by some asshole. Think I lost 17 hands in a row. Session lasted 20 minutes for me.

3. BlackJack (Session 2): Played at the MGM. Was very impressed with the table setup at the MGM. I really enjoyed it. Great dealers, great lighting, and TVs. Was having a great time with Wiz, until he went to cut the cards and the card bounced out of the decks. It was like the 6 deck shoe spat out the cut card. I've never seen anything like it. And as usual, it was a bad omen. I got destroyed. Tried to change up the rhythm by playing two hands. Not the smartest of moves during a bad shoe. Ended up getting killed. Killed actually is an understatement.

4. $25 craps: Played craps with Eric, Lee, Wiz, Jay, and Laura at the Mirage at the $25 table. Reason number 4,175 why Wiz and I shouldn't be gambling together. We had an auction on the hard 6. I would put $25 on the hard six, then Wiz would say $30, then I said $35, and so on. It ended at $110 for Wiz and $105 for me. And it didn't hit. I can't tell you what would of happened if that would of hit. A total riot would of taken place.

5. $5 craps: Went back to the Sahara for seconds with Jay and Laura on Sunday. What a great time. Despite losing $250, it brought us the strangest interaction with several strangers at the table.

• There were some gangsters on the other end and the one guy rolled the dice with authority. He would hit the back wall on the fly, with no arch. And the way he did it was so cool. As Laura stated before, it was like he was throwing a right cross and then the dice would come flying out. And he was a good roller which made Jay and I scream like little girls while he was rolling.
• Some young loner dude next to Jay had a very interesting style of betting which I think we should analyze more on a latter post. He would switch back and forth between the pass and don't pass and when he thought the table was getting cold, he would place a large wager on the come. It worked out very well for him. So much so that at first he bought Jay and I the hard 10 for 5 a piece. We felt a little awkward so we bought him one as well. Then he bought the entire table (full table mind you) the hard 4 for $5. Then when Laura was rolling well again, he bought the entire table the hard 10 for $25 a piece. Jay whispered to me that if Laura hits it, he was tackling me into the craps pit like someone hitting a buzzer beater. Once again the dealers were awesome and were just as vested in the rolls as we were. The stick guy was like Gus Johnson calling out the numbers. WE HAVE ONE FIVE AND.......oh a four." Amazing time again.

Overall the trip was amazing. Maybe one of the best I've been on, despite giving back the winnings and then some. Can't wait for next year.

Ahhh The Sahara

I sill haven't recovered fully from Vegas. I'm really depressed being back. I'll do more of a running diary over the weekend, but wanted to post about my trip down to the Sahara.

So on Thursday the boys go off to go golfing, leaving Jay, Laura, and myself behind. After putsing around for a couple of hours, we end up heading down to the Sahara to roll some craps with my friend Dick and Brad. Now my experiences at the Sahara are either really good or really bad. Jay and I had a great experience several years back when the craps table got extremely hot and we won about $500-$600, and then last year it went super cold and I lost over $1000 at a $5 table.

So we all squeeze onto a fairly packed table. I put down $150 and I decided not to do my normal come bets and just place some numbers (6,8,and 9). It was choppy for a short period of time, and then Laura came to roll and it got out of control. Laura was unstoppable, hitting the big numbers left and right. And when she rolled a 6 or an 8, it was the hard way. So I started to press my bets. I must of hit 3 or 4 hard ways with $50 on the number. My 6, 8, and 9 started to get pretty large. In the middle of the roll I had more than $100 on each of those numbers and by the later stage they each had over $500 on it. And she kept on hitting the freaking numbers. She even hit a hard 8 which I had $100 sitting there. It got so crazy at the table that Dick ended up punching me in the head as when Laura hit another freaking hard way.

There were a couple of real cool things that then happened:

• There must of been 4-5 floor managers and supervisors hovering over the table. And they all looked like old time gangsters. Dick whispered to me "Um, your not making it out of here with all of their money" and I actually believed him.
• Dust- its cool to see the dust circles from the stacks of chips that are pulled from the main craps bank, but at this table it was amazing. We must of removed 3 full rows of chips from the main craps bank.
• I easily made the dealers over $500. Laura was hitting points where I had $5 for the dealers backed with $25 odds.
• I had a full row of black chips and another row of green chips.
• I will never forget Tommy and AJ, our two amazing dealers. Tommy forgot to pay out on my place bet once because he was so excited about the hard ways. I have never seen dealers act like players before. It was awesome. And it took at least 5 minutes between rolls to pay out on all the action. And they weren't slow.
• I over $2000 on the table when Laura finally crapped out.
• I remember that we started to play craps at the start of the evening games, and when I looked up and caught the scores on the TV, it was already in the second half. Wow.

So after Laura crapped out, we decided to stay a little longer and the table was still a little warm. I actually had a very good roll that brought me another $1000. After it cooled off, I wanted to cash out and put all my chips on the table. The pit boss asked me to pick up all the blacks stating that they don't have any chips higher than $100s. Hmmmm, so how am I supposed to carry all this shit over to the cage? So with chips in hand I run over to the cage not really knowing how much I have. The cashier is in awe and asks for my ID and a couple of other items and comes back and asks if I want my money strapped. Strapped? What the heck does that mean? Sir, we strap $100s in $5,000 bundles. Would you like that? Ummm, sure.

I ended up with $6300 on $150 outlay at a $5 table. Now the problem was how to get out of the casino without being noticed. I had to take a piss, so Jay watched my back with a Miller High Life bottle when I took a piss and Laura, Jay, and I sprinted to the cab line and made it home safely.

Unbelievable. The most amazing experience of my gambling life and its all thanks to Laura.

Vegas Diary, Part 1 (of ??)

Well, another Vegas trip has come and gone. As some have remarked rarlier, it's true: the Tuesday after the trip really is the worst day of the year.

What's the point of the diaries? Well, I think it's 30% to have others fill in hazy details from the trip, 20% to make sure all hilarity and craziness is documents, and 50% for entertainment in the future, when you re-read this diary 2, 3, 4 years from now or later.

So here we go, trying to put together the pieces from a particularly hazy trip:

Wednesday:
Arrived with Don and Mike around 6 pm or so after a record retrieval of bags from baggage claim. Of course, walked by the casino and saw the crowd already parked at the UTH table. After unpacking and cleaning up, Layup left for dinner with his boss and we got started.

Unbelieveably, my first action on this trip was not UTH, nor Pai Gow, nor craps - it was Blackjack switch with Wiz. Boy, was I out of practice - and that game messes you up. I hit on 13 vs a 4 twice (and Wiz didn't even catch me before it was too late!). Wiz switched his cards, and then decided to unswitch. A huddle of the dealer and floor person followed, with the decision being that you can unswitch.

A winning UTH session and then a mediocre craps session followed, then more UTH where more losing followed. A theme for the week? I don't recall any of these sessions. I decided I had enough and headed up around 12:30 or so.

Thursday
4:00! My body woke up bright and early at 4. I tried to stay in bed as long as I could - 4:30? 4:45? - before I had to get up. First, I checked the PGA tour web site to see when my pick, Vijay Singh, would be teeing off. Wiz got us all into a $25 side bet on our golfers for this. Vijay would be teeing off around 8:30 eastern. Cool!
Headed down to the sportsbook at 5 - with a V8 and Strawberry milk in hand. Made all the wagers within 90 minutes.....during that time, decided to check the leaderboard to see how Vijay was doing.

Hmmmm....not there. Why not?
It's past 8:30 in the east. Why isn't he on the leaderboard? His name is nowhere to be found. This can't be good.......he ended up with a WD as his back flared up. That's what I get for picking a 49 year old guy.

Jay's best bet for the day was the Old Dominion - Notre Dame under. Well, as soon as the game tipped (and we had our customary 9:00 tipoff handshake), he's rooting for the four corners - and for the shot clock to be shown on the screen. He channelled his inner Richard Dawson on every possession.... as each possession was winding down, he would loudly request:
"Show me......SHOT CLOCK!"
He ended up winning his bet.

Left Layup high and dry at the craps table...it was 10:45, and we decided to play craps. I had to leave for golf at 11:30, so I was thinking to myself that I could only play for about 30 minutes. I got the chips in the middle of the roll, and decided to wait until the point was made (or sevened out). I usually bet the 6's and the 8's; I then saw the rolls come out as:
10
8
6
5
8
6
8

I was beside myself. I was furious. I grabbed all my chips, apologized to Layup, and went right to the cashier. Net on that session: $0.

Golf was ok, I guess, for the first round of the year. Great course; it just took a while to find any sort of rhythm. I do know where I was when I found out that Sam Houston covered (7th green), Murray St won at the buzzer (6th tee), and the Butler/UTEP over hit (16th fairway).
Leland mentioned he went in on the Ohio Money Line - they got off to a hot start. That can't possibly win, can it?

As we were driving back, I got some cryptic texts from Layup about winning big - big? how big? - at the Sahara, of all places. I'll let him give more details.

Leland and I went in on the Wake money line, since "you couldn't afford not to bet it". It did come through as two terribly coached teams fumbled chance after chance away in regulation and overtime. Dinner with Layup's boss - where I did not embarass myself, unlike the next night - two winning craps sessions (I think at least one was with Mike and Laura - is that right?) and a final, ending UTH session that netted me $300 - it was a good day, with the exception of Vijay.

NIT

For those of you interested, we will be holding a NIT pool. The bracket can be found at the below address. Please call me or email me your picks.

http://www.nit.org/auto_pdf/p_hotos/s_chools/nit/sports/m-nit/auto_pdf/2010bracket

2010 Vegas Planning

I'm sure we will be referring to this often tomorrow:
Schedule of Games
All Times Pacific Time

Thu 9:15 am
7 BYU v 10 Florida
6 Notre Dame v 11 Old Dominion
2 Villanova v 15 Robert Morris

Thu 11:30 am
4 Vanderbilt v 13 Murray St
2 Kansas St v 15 North Texas
3 Baylor v 14 Sam Houston St
7 Richmond v 10 St Mary's

Thu 1:45 pm
5 Butler v 12 UTEP

Thu 4:10 pm
8 UNLV v 9 Northern Iowa
1 Kentucky v 16 E Tenn St
6 Marquette v 11 Washington
3 Georgetown v 14 Ohio

Thu 6:30 pm
1 Kansas v 16 Lehigh
8 Texas v 9 Wake Forest
3 New Mexico v 14 Montana
6 Tennessee v 11 San Diego St

Fri 9:15 am
2 West Virginia v 15 Morgan St
6 Xavier v 11 Minnesota
5 Temple v 12 Cornell

Fri 11:30 am
4 Purdue v 13 Siena
7 Clemson v 10 Missouri
3 Pittsburgh v 14 Oakland
4 Wisconsin v 13 Wofford

Fri 1:45 pm
5 Texas A&M v 12 Utah St

Fri 4:15 pm
7 Oklahoma St v 10 Georgia Tech
5 Michigan St v 12 New Mexico St
8 Gonzaga v 9 Florida St
1 Duke vs 16 Winthrop / Arkansas-Pine Bluff

Fri 6:30 pm
1 Syracuse v 16 Vermont
2 Ohio St v 15 Cal-Santa Barbara
4 Maryland v 13 Houston
8 California v 9 Louisville

Security Counsel Help

I submit to you the following text from March 13, 2010 at 6:35PM

3 purdue vs 14 Akron?

Just exactly, what is the sanction for this egregious violation of Gooch protocol?

My mind is boggled....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What I look forward to...

When we starting seriously thinking about Vegas (with about, oh, 2-3 months left before the trip), there are certain moments that happen every year and become the lasting memories of each trip. I'm not talking about one-time events, like a broken bone or a illegally cleaned golf ball. I'm talking about trivial traditions or routines that are a part of my trip.

So, I'm looking forward to:

- seeing the Vegas skyline as the plane lands into McCarron - that always gets the blood rushing
- seeing what billboards/advertisments have changed in the baggage claim area
- seeing the sports board for the first time on Wed night
- waking up at 4:00 am on Thursday and heading down to the book to make bets
- the thrill of indecision as I figure how much to wager on the first set of picks
- the 9:00 am handshake from Jay as the tournament tips
- heading outside for the first time every morning and breathing in fresh air
- being offered the "dragon" in Pai Gow
- trying to play UTH while straining to see the TVs in the poker pit
- the random trip to another casino where all sorts of unique adentures await
- the gambling trip after dinner on Friday to parts unknown
- playing craps with a coffee in hand every morning
- all of us owning all seats at a blackjack table at some point
- making frantic runs to the sports book based on some illogical tip from Wiz/Leland/Don/(and even Eric)
- all of you begging to see my touenament guide at some point
- when we flood a craps table, and for an instant, I hesitate on whether I should bet on the pass or don't pass (due to all of the great rollers in the group)
- watching at a safe distance when Layup/Wiz go on their roulette run
- a relaxing Saturday - at the pool, at the book,...
- the roar of the crowd during any random NCAA game
- the adrenaline rush when 3 of the 4 legs of my over/under parlay has hit.......
- .....and bitching to you all when fate causes the 4th leg to lose
- the sunday night dinner as we are all exhausted
- leaving on Monday feeling completely satisfied

Possible Press Conference: Sunday, Mar 21

I hope someone does not give this soliloquy at the end of our trip:


This Vegas group - you're ruthless. You don't deserve to win money in Vegas.

I will never forget being at the craps table and being cheered when my bankroll was getting injured.

I know at times I wasn't great at rolling the dice. I hope and pray I'll be playing the don'ts when you come to town and plays craps - and I will roll you.

Sad news before Vegas

Corey Haim has passed away, at 38.

I don't know why I am a little sad at this news, but I am.

What do you bring to the table?

Hello again, friends. Lot of topics to blog about, most notably the NCAA tournament. I know I say this every year, but I really mean it this time: This is the weakest bubble (or dare I say, the weakest field) I have ever seen. Some examples:
- Notre Dame, who lost at home to Loyola Marymount, is considered in with 1 win in the Big East tourney.
- Wake Forest, who has lost thier last 5 games, is considered in;
- St Mary's, who can't get over the hump and beat Gonzaga, is just sitting around and at this point is in as others flail aroudn them (Dayton, UConn, Illinois, Ga Tech....)
- Va Tech is in with the 340th (yes, that's right) toughest out-of-conference schedule
- You will all crap your pants on Sunday when New Mexico is listed as a 2 seed....their coach? Steve Alford.....who took Iowa to the NCAAs in 2006 as a #3 seed.......and this is what happened....
- And Vanderbilt (who just lost at home to a weak team) is a 3, Kansas St (who lost at home to Iowa St) is a 2, and Duke - who has won 1 road game this year against a top 50 opponent - is a #1.

Maryland is playing their way nicely to a protected seed - maybe a #4 in Jacksonville? - against a #13 seed like.....Akron or Kent. Batten down the hatches in Vegas.

Anyway, more bubble talk later.

Let's turn out thoughts toward the table games....and I wanted to collect your thoughts on how much you bring to a table for a session? For instance, there is a $10 blackjack table open. What are you taking out of your wallet when you sit down?

To the games:

Craps: The hard one first. I used to think that $100 was sufficient at a $5 table - but not anymore. To feel comfortable, I think $200 at a $5 table would last you through a lot of bad luck. So that's 40x the minimum bet......
....but I don't follow this advice at the higher levels. That's just too much, and as the limits get higher, I become more conservative.

So - my rule of thumb:

40x the minimum for $5, and I need to do this for a $10 table too.
30x for $15 and up. That's now $750 for a drunken Sat night craps run......wow.

Blackjack: Well, you are talking to someone who made $20 last for 2 hours at a $5 table in Green Bay back in 1998. I think $125 is good for a $5 table to weather the storm - that's 25x. Does this translate? No, not really. At higher levels ($15 and up), I just take 20x. And I don't even do that at a $25 table.

My rule for 2010:
20x the minimum for blackjack.

Pai Gow/Pai Gow Poker: Given the small variance in this game (unless your last name is Dietrich), I think 12x is fine. This is $300 for a $25 table, which is about right.
12x-15x the minimum here.

Ultimate Texas Holdem: The granddaddy of them all. A great article on my new favorite website shows some good statistical details on this game. This looks at the probability of busting out vs. doubling up (or winning a pre-determined amount of money). With a starting bankroll of only 20 antes, it's a 33% chance that you bust out in 3 hours. With a larger starting bankroll, you stay in the game longer (obviously) and have a better chance of getting a profit at some time.

There is a 1.5% to bust out after 3 hours if you bring 100 antes to the table - that $500 for a $5 game! I can't do that. I don't think I can do 50x - $500 for a $10 table? I think 40x is the right level for me.

Roulette: Oh for God's sake, take $100 and enjoy the ride. No analysis here. If I need to put something, how about 20x the minimum.

Sports: There's really no set rule here - we can do the statisical analysis that I laid out two years ago to determine an appropriate level of wagering at the book. I hope to decrease the number of wagers this year (again) and place larger bets on the lower number of tickets. We'll see if I have the self discipline to do that.

Let's see some comments now, gentlemen (and ladies). It's less than two weeks and no one is commenting.

My memory is going.

Last week I was trying to remember all of my March Madness trips over the years and it was a disaster. Wow, my memory was shot. And since we didn't take a lot of pictures (except for one picture of Ty doing the "Suck It" thing with his arms outside of the MGM), I don't have a lot of things to go off of. Even Eric and Lee couldn't put it all together. And while Laura added some good insight she too is blanking on a couple of years. I think Laura came up with a great idea of creating a Wikipedia page dedicated to our trips so we can look back years from now to remember. So onto the timeline:


1997- First trip out to Vegas. Stayed at the newly opened Monte Carlo. I roomed with Jeff, Michele, and Niki Topper. I remember coming back late one night hammered and taking off my patch and slapping it on Niki's forehead. Chuck joined us, where he got me hooked on roulette and taught me how to gamble on a budget of $50 a day. Nogle was there as well and taught me that it was ok to drink beer out of a bag out by the pool. And we discovered the lazy river that had shards of glass in it. Oh and I went out to the Hover Dam.
1998- I know I went, but can't remember anything.
1999-Laura's first year. Stayed at the MGM. I took Amy with me and roomed with Lee and Bridget. I remember being overwhelmed at the size of the MGM casino.
2000-No idea.
2001-Terps final 4 year. I know that I was out there since I won a bet on the over for combined points and rebounds for Lonny Baxter. No idea who I roomed with. Laura advised that Kerri, Alicia and Licia were out there that year. Wiz and Leland rented a van to drive out to California for the MD game. Year of fateful Cheetahs trip.
2002-Terps National Championship. I think I roomed with Blondie and Eric. Maybe? I can't really remember. This is the start of the Robbie and Ghettor years where there was a lot of poker and drinking.
2003 - Per Laua- "Butler County/Drew Nicholas/broken glasses trip. This was my first time out there with Eric and the trip was right after we started bombing in Iraq. I remember fighting with Eric for weeks via email about the war following this trip. Also fought the don't-pass infidels at craps." Ah yes, the vaunted don't pass line issue.
2004- Think I went out with Sooz, her sister, one of her friend Amanda, and a guy from work, Scott Jenks. First time I drove out to Vegas and got pulled over with open containers in the car and apparently I was driving on a suspended license. And the cop was totally cool and said if one of the two girls in the car has a valid drivers license and can pass a sobriety test, I'll let you off. I am forever indebted to Sooz's sister for coming through in the clutch and passing that test!!!!
2005-Another Robbie/Ghettor year. No idea what went on. I think this is where I played poker with Robbie for 24 straight hours.
2006 - The year that I averaged a vegas trip per month. Stayed at the Monte. Brought Carol. Don's first trip out. Probably the best dinner ever at the Mesa Grill as I was introduced to Blue Cheese stuffed olives, credit card roulette, Wiz's ability to bet on anything like the waitress's hometown and age, and Don's food and wine choices. I look back at this trip as one of the all time greats. Even during the calm times there were still memorable moments like at the McDonalds when I left to go to the bathroom and Don asked Carol, "Why are you with him?" I will never forget Don, never forget.
2007- No where to go but down after 2006. This trip resulted in Lee writing a 10,000 word post and started the UN commission on who can come on the trips. I do remember how much fun we had at the Nugget playing Pai Gow outside by the pool and then noodles afterwards.
2008-Palazzo- Micah provided us the greatest story ever. Found that we can have fun outside of a casino by watching women's college basketball together in a cabana. Oh and we discovered a little game called UTH.
2009-Palazzo- Easter in Vegas. Jay and Laura's triumphant return! Pai Gow Tiles! Ira and the child molester! Pastrami sandwiches. 14 hour sessions at the UTH table. My first trip where I came home with almost my entire budget. Lee got me sick. Asshole.

And how was your night?

Just got back in the hotel room here in France.....out tonight at a bar:

a) watching the France v Spain friendly (gees, the French team sucks);

b) eating the "Double Cheeseburger XL" - 2 180g patties on a sandwich like a Big Mac. I was too tired/drunk to figure out how many pounds 2*180g are;

c) singing karaoke to "Summer Nights" in English to a befuddled (and amused) French crowd.

Unfortunately, there are pictures, and I'm sure they will get in the wrong hands.

The bar's name?

"Le Maryland".

If that's not a good sign for our trip in two weeks..........

Only 15 days left!!!

Is this a picture from one of the past trips or insight into this year's trip? Hard to tell since I have a feeling that we will be sitting in the same position at the same UTH table for 12 hours a day. In preparation I have played over 8,000 hands of UTH on the Iphone app.

Caption Contest #1-Vegas

Gentlemen, welcome to the Hilton. After dinner, I will take you to where the Curling and Women's BB lines are made.

Over/under

2010 is a World Cup Soccer year!

Number of World Cup betting tickets that will be brought home by the group: 2.5.

Need advice

So I've gotten down the timing of watching sporting events while having to feed my daugther and rock her asleep. I'm able to hold the baby, bottle, and the remote all at the same time by buying larger bottles so I can hold with my neck so I can operate the remote. And I'm using this thing called a boppy to prop the baby up, making my weekends on the couch with the baby very enjoyable for me as I watch TV.

But the problem that I need help with is my reactions to these said sporting events. I'm kind of a loud guy when I'm watching sports that I have money on and something exciting happens, I can't control myself in my reaction. During this weekend alone, I woke up Morgan twice, while she was in my arms because of the following events:

1. Saturday late afternoon: Watching golf. Casey vs. Villegas. I have Casey. Morgan finally is asleep after 45 minutes of battling. TV volume turned all the way down. Trying to keep current with all the texting coming in from Wiz and Eric. Crazy match. They are in extra holes. Casey is about to be eliminated, but Villegas shanks his 2 foot par putt, pushing the match to go into the next day (reverse gooch worked). When he missed it, I jumped up (with baby in hand) and yelled in excitement. I couldn't control myself. I don't know who was more confused, my wife or Morgan. And the reactions where a little different. The wife saying WTF and the baby screaming like a terridactol.
2. Sunday early evening: US vs Canada hockey. Told Wiz to take the US, so my hockey reputation was on the line. Once again, the baby is asleep in my arms after 30 minutes of fussing around. I was good on the first US goal. I was even good on the second one. But the third one I freaked out and that woke the baby again. Ugh....

So how do you guys control your reactions when watching sports?

Tiger's got nothing on me....

Good evening, and thank you for joining me. Many of you on this blog are my friends. Many of you on this blog know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me. Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me for not blogging in sometime. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. As Eric pointed out to me, my real apology to you all will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

So what could pull me out of my posting drought? Yes Vegas. Only a couple of weeks away (2 paychecks to be exact) and I'm getting more and more excited. It seems a little quiet this year which makes some think that this year will be boring, but I'm actually kind of liking all the quiet. This year no arguments about room rates, Palazzo vs Mirage, girls coming or not, how much golfing, when is everyone going to leave, when is everyone going to arrive, and who is staying with who?

This year we have some key players not joining us. Kermit will be a no show for the first time in how many years? 3-4? Ira, who I can't decide whether he made a bigger splash with the group for his crazy craps play or his Megan's law friend, will not be joining us either. They will be joining the sidelines with our friend Micah who I guess still hasn't recovered from that one strange and lonely night at the PaiGow table. Are you ever coming back Micah?

The group is now down to a very strong 8. And finally it looks as if we will have 2 to a room, which come to think of it, might be a first. And we all seemed very focused.

Vegas Superstitions

OK, we are less than 4 weeks away from Vegas. 4 weeks! After this week, I need a week in Vegas, with my wife gone for a week in Europe and then coming back with the stomach flu. Nice.

So, to start off, what are our superstitions in Vegas? What I mean by this is - what will you (or won't you do) at the table? In the casino? You may call these "idiosyncracies", or "priniciples" - but you'll soon see what I mean..

Craps:
1. I always want to have a spot at the end of the table, preferably in the "straight out" position. Next best thing is to have a spot right next to the dealer (not the stickan). I'll do the hook ok. I really do not like the play when I am 1 or 2 away from the box man.
2. Open table? Hell yes! Absolutely.
3. I prefer to have the dealers on my left (and the boxman on the right) if I am at the head of the table.
4. I will not tip the dealers on the pass line anymore. In 2006, I think, I lost 12 straight pass line bets when I put something for the dealers on the line. No more. I will throw a dollar on the field on the come out instead of the line.
5. Within a roll, I will always throw the dice the same way. Right hand low, lef thand lob, whatever. Whatever I started with when I got the dice, I will not change. However, once I seven out and then the dice come back to me, I will change my method of throwing.
6. If I stumble or balk when picking up the dice, I will do a Ben Crane - set the dice down, reset, and start the routine over again.
7. Hitting chips at the end of the table? Hell yes! I even aim for them (if Wiz isn't there as a target).
8. I love the hard 4 and 10, don't bet the hard 6 and 8. This is foolish, I know....
9. Dice choice? I will pick two dice that add up to 8. If I don't have that (say, 3 1's, a 2 and a 5), I will jiggle the dice to get an 8.

Blackjack
1. I don't like to sit at 3rd base. Too much pressure. I actually love 1st base.
2. From about 2003-2007, I hated cutting. Now, I don't mind it so much. And I do believe in "thin to win".
3. I need to start asking for 2 less than I desire. For instance, if I have 14, I will ask for a 5. The cards can hear you, think you want a 5, and will give you a 6 or 7. Ha! I tricked them!
4. I love the long wipe of the hand across the cards to signify "stay" - especially if I have 20 vs a dealer 5. Really, Mr. Einstein? You are staying? Yes sir!
5. Unlike craps, I am a little leery of open blackjack tables.
6. Insurance? Mer is not on this trip to guide me. I am not a crazy zealot against insurance. I will take it when I have a feeling.

Pai Gow (Poker)
1. I pick up the 7 cards and try to place them in the same hand when I start winning. I will change hands on a losing streak.
2. I love the "Jeff Zahn" method of exposing one card at a time, and then letting a big sigh when the 7th card does not pair my hand, or fill a straight or a flush. This is from my dad who always, always did this when picking up his hand in bridge. The 13th card was never good for him.
3. I am not afraid to ask the dealer for help.

UTH
Still too new to have superstitions yet here. We will have to develop some on this trip. Unlike blackjack, I don't mind sitting at 3rd base. In fact, I will sit on the corners at this table.

Sports Book
1. One-stop shopping. I try to make one trip for a group of games. One trip to get 8 tickets.
2. I will order the tickets by tip-off time; earliest tip-off goes in front.

Roulette
1. I don't like sitting at the end of the table (near the column bets). Like to be as near to the wheel as possible.

Slots
1. If I have to, I will only play slots with a handle - and I will use the handle.

Two quick questions

Two questions that will make you think:

1. I am wrapping Freddie's brithday presents; one of the presents is a gift from Warren which is Chinese Checkers. Nice! On the box, it notes that it is "made in China".

Do the workers actaully know what they are making? Or do they have no clue what this bastardized game really is? Is this the equivalent of "Taco Bell" to Mexicans? Or Sbarro to Sicilians?

2. Was watching the women's downhill skiing and saw two horrific falls by some Europeans. (For clips, go here. ).

Is it bad that my first thought is:
"Hey - they crossed the finish line. I wonder what their time was? That last split must have been pretty bad".

They don't actually get a DNS for this, do they?

30 days away!

It's less than 4 weeks until Selection Sunday, and 30 days to Vegas. Let's start the ball rolling by our annual Bracketology posts, where we take the latest ESPN Bracket projection and pick games to fit in these pre-determined categories. Send ideas on for new cateogries - or requests to stops these insane posts - along.

The Kampen Game
(2) Purdue v (15) Coastal Carolina

The Wiz Heart Attack Game
(8) Missouri v (9) Clemson

The Collective Hold Your Breath Game
(8) Maryland v (9) Old Dominion
(note: Could also be the Micah Broken Bone game)

Layup's 5-12 Lock
(5) Wake Forest v (12) Marquette

Eric's Ohio Underdog Game
(4) BYU v (13) Kent St

Layup's $1000 on the Money Line Game
(4) Vanderbilt v (13) Northeastern

The 7-10 game no one cares about
(7) Richmond v (10) Florida St

Jay's Thursday 9 am 1st upset of the tournament
(7) UNLV v (10) Rhode Island

Wiz's ACC Lock
(8) Illinois v (9) Georgia Tech

The Virginia is for Lover's Game
(6) Butler v (11) Virginia Tech

The Game only Eric cares about
(7) Northern Iowa v (10) Dayton.....too perfect

The Random over/under game for Laura to have action on
(4) New Mexico v (13) Oklahoma St

Mike's Philly Cheesesteak Game
(5) Temple v (12) St Mary's

The Leland "I might as well flip a coin...I'd do better" game
(3) Wisconsin v (14) Weber St

Let's All Go Crazy in the Cabana for this possible 2nd round Game:
(1) Syracuse v (8) Maryland
followed by
(2) Purdue v (7) Xavier

20 years ago today

I read that today is a special day in the sports world - 20 years ago today, on February 11, 1990, Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in the 10th round to become the undisputed Heavyweight champion of the world. It still remains the biggest upset in boxing.

Two thoughts come to mind:

1. This is one of those sporting events that you recall exactly where you were when it happened or heard the news of the event. I'm not talking about events in which you have an interest in - hell, I can tell you where I was for every game of the 2001 Cleveland Browns season - but events that you don't have a real rooting interest, yet captivates you.

Over the past 25 years or so, there aren't many "special" events that fall into this category. Off the top of my head:
- 1986 World Series
- 1986 Masters
- 1989 Princeton v Georgetown
- 1990 Douglas v Tyson
- 1991 World Series
- 1994 Stanley Cup
- 1996 Masters
- 1997 Masters
- 2001 World Series
- Super Bowl 36 (Feb, 2002)
- Super Bowl 42 (Feb, 2008)

Others?

Where was I? It was late Saturday night in my dorm room, I think about 1 am or so. I was a freshman. We were probably drinking wine coolers or some God-awful concoction like Wyler's Cherry Kool Aid and Jack Daniels*. And then I heard the news of the Boxing upset.........

2. But how did I get the news? It was 1990, and it was 1 am. The dorm room did not have cable. Our rooms were wired for the internet - Case was the first college campus to provide all students with a "fiber-optic" internet connection - but there was no espn.com or anything. News, sports stories and others could be read off of usenet - but stories on Usenet were at least 1 hour behind real time.

So how did I find out the news of Tyson's loss?

Well, remember "Dial-a-Phone"? This was a service from the phone compnay where you can call a number, punch in a four digit code, and get the latest news, sports, weather, and so forth on the phone? You had to listen to a 30-second advertisement for a law firm, or for a car dealership ("The Showcase of Beautiful Cars....Hal Artz.....5930 Mayfield"), or some such nonsense. Then you got a 90-second recap of your requested topic.

I would call this every 30-60 minutes on the weekend - I think I was in a fantasy NBA league, for God's sake, and I was still a big Sacramento Kings fan at that time. So the Kings were probabl playing late, I was trying to get an update (or a final) at 1 in the morning.....

...and that's when the news of Tyson's upset came across.

Was this a joke? How do you verify? There was no breaking news on the TV- again, we didn't have cable. They weren't going to break into SNL - or, worse "Showtime at the Apollo" to tell viewers that Tyson lost. I stood there, dumbfounded. I told some people in the dorm - half didn't care, and half thought I was joking them.

Looking back at it, this story must seems completely insane. However, this was cutting edge technology in 1990. Breaking news by touch tone phone!


* - I swear, this is the actual drink that made me sick for the first week of Freshman year.

The definition of unexpected

After putting the kids to bed tonight, I turned on the TV and started playing one of the TiVo'd episodes of "The $25,000 Pyramid". Yes, with my new iPhone and the Direct TV app, I can make sure I don't miss any reruns of the Pyramid!

I was half-paying attention when I heard...

"This is The $25,000 Pyramid!!

Our special guests....

from '227', Jackee Harry! "

Wait, what?
This I gotta see......

Logistics Homework

The discussion on whether to expand the NCAA tournament from 64 (or really, 65) teams to 96 fascinates me. Most of the discussion focuses on whether the tournament should be diluted with the extra 32 marginal teams. Some are focused on whether the 32 best teams should have a bye.

I'm focused on the scheduling - how in the hell would this work, especially for TV?

Right now, a 64 team tournament means 6 rounds - 2 rounds per weekend, and it's done in 3 weeks. It's perfect. If we add another round into the tournament, how exactly would this be done?

Let's start at the end, first.
And let's use actual dates. This year, selection Sunday is on March 14; the first weekend is March 18-21; the second weekend is March 25-28; the championship is scheduled for Apr 5.

- Would CBS still require the championship game to be played on the first Monday in April (Opening Day Monday)? If it is any later, you get into Masters week (starting Thursday, Apr 8).
- So if we are set with the final 2 on the Monday, Apr 5, this means the semis are on Sat, Apr 3.
- Are we still set on the final 4 figured out on Sun, Mar 28? If so, why?
If so, now we have to add an extra set of games in a two week period, from Mar 14-28.

A couple of notes here:

- Each region would not have 16 teams, but 24. There would be 10 (not 6) games played in the prelim rounds to get to the sweet 16 (4 games in Rd 1, 4 games in Rd 2, 2 games in Rd 3). Would we play 2 of those regions on Wed-Fri-Sun - and then the other 2 on Thu-Sat-Mon?
- If you don't want to play the 3rd round games on the Monday after, then you have to start Tuesday and play Tue-Thu-Sat and Wed-Fri-Sun. But - is it fair to announce the bracket on Sun, Mar 14 and then force 16 teams to play on Tue, Mar 16? Is it fair for Virginia to be in Charlottsville on selection Sunday and then be forced to play a Round 1 game in Spokane on Tuesday afternoon? I say no.

- I think the earliest teams could actually play is Thursday. Thursday Mar 18 would be round 1. Thu-Fri would have 16 games each, and get 96 teams down to 64. Then we would be at 32 teams by the end of Sunday, with another 16 games played on Sat and Sunday. Now where the hell are we putting an extra round of games?

- If the above assumptions are true, this means we need three rounds - from 32-16, 16-8, and 8-4 - from Mon Mar 21 until Sun Mar 28.
- Would Round 3 - to get from 32-16, containing 16 games - need to be played on Mon-Tue, Mar 21-22. Ugh. This would mean moving the excitement of today's round 2 and putting it on a Monday-Tuesday. I would hate this.

- OK, move Round 3 to Thu-Fri, Mar 24-25. Then this means the Sweet Sixteen games are Sat-Sun, Mar 26-27.......but then this means the regional finals would be played on the following weeknights, Mon and Tue, Mar 28-29? We would have a doubleheader on Mon and Tue night. Do we want this?

OK, that's a lot of rambling - but do you see the point? What assumptions are wrong above - and what aspect of this "perfect" tournament will change if we move to 96?

Here's my solution....

- The final should not be on Monday - but move it back 2 days until Wednesday, April 7.
- Have the national semis played as a doubleheader (7 pm ET and 9:30 pm ET) on Monday, April 5.
- Have a quadruple header at the same location on the current Final Four Saturday (April 3). 8 teams - 4 games - starting at 1 pm, 3:30 pm, 7 pm and 9:30 pm. Can you imagine what an orgy this would be? This would actually make a "final four" ticket worth something.
- With this solution, the first two weekends would be the same. The only drawback is that the top seeds (seeds 1-8) would only play once on opening weekend.

Thoughts? There are no good solutions here...only mine.

An Awkward Moment

Actual phone conversation with Leland last night:

Leland: Hello?

Me: Hey. You called me earlier. What's up?

Leland: Can you talk? Where are you at?

Me: I'm at karate.

(long, long uncomfortable pause)



Leland: Um, you aren't actually doing Karate, are you? Cause if so, I want pictures of you in the white karate suit.....

I have a feeling that Kermit knew this...

It's a fact! Eating more pork improves your sex life!

And you wondered why pork chops were the main dish at our wedding.....

Well hello there!

Hi everyone! Remember me? It's been about 2 weeks since I posted - so let's start the fun again with some complete odds and ends.....

1. Had a great visit to CA to see Layup and the new arrival, Morgan. Apparently Layup now blames us (me?) on giving him the "Ohio Flu", which I'm sure in his mind is just slightly worse than the H1N1. I'm just preparing him for a life with a child - and their exposure to 47 communicable illness at the same time.

1a. 8 year olds have no sense of temperature. We went to the beach - Freddie runs in the ocean like it is June in the Gulf of Mexico. The water was - at best - 60 degrees. That didn't stop him - he was in there for a good 30 minutes.

1b. The first morning I got up in our hotel room at 5 am - jet lag. However, I wasn't the first one up. Freddie was up and playing his PSP on the bathroom floor. At 5:30 we got in the car and went to the grocery store. Two notes about that:
- stepping outside at 5:30 in the complete darkness and being wide awake - and the temperature being a beautfily 59 degrees? It felt exactly like an early Vegas morning. Got my blood rushing for March.
- so who is in a grocery store at 5:30 in the morning? Just the stockers. And, in California, what is the ethnicity of the stockers? Of course.
So Freddie blurts out: "Why are there so many Spanish people working at this store?" Alright....have another donut and keep the questions to yourself until we get back into the car.

2. Got a magazine from Case touting the Engineering department and the faculty. In there there was a picture of the professors at the university.

It's been 20 years since I started at Case - and 5 of my professors are still there! These guys - Buchner (my adviser), Loparo, Chankong, Malakooti, Sreenath - were all middle age (40? 45?) when I started. And they are still there! (And frankly, they all look the same!)

And it's not just my department. Many of Janice's professors are still around; I looked at the Computer Engineering faculty and saw many names that Kermit bitched about (the Ozoygulu's, Merat, ...). Is this normal? I mean, in P&G, we switch roles every 3-5 years. I know it's vastly different....but don't these guys retire?

3. Driver Search 2010 is on. I'm looking at the Taylor Made R9 (because I am really comfortable with Taylor Made's over the past 10 years) or the new Cobra (since I really love my Cobra hybrid). The Titleist are too unforgiving for me, and I just am not comfortable with a Ping. It's a 9.5 degree driver with a regular shaft for me - I got the specs down, I just need to find one I am comfortable with.

Kentucky Basketball

I know I am the only one, but anytime I see UK hoops playing this year and I hear the name "Bledsoe" I always do a double take. To look up and see an athletic black basketball player, instead of a tall white slow QB - well it just freaks me out.

Casino Experiences

Well, I've had a chance to go to the casino twice over the past 3 weeks - once for Wiz's "fact finding" visit in late December and last night with Janice as a birthday gift.

(By the way - I'm trying to convince Janice to bake this cake - candles and all - for today, my 38th. She quickly rolled her eyes and called me a nerd. I love it!)

I swear, I think I see more odd things at the Indiana casino than the Vegas casinos. A list of the things that stick out from the last two visits:

- The pure joy that Don, Wiz, Mike and I all felt when we rolled into the casino and saw an open UTH table at 9 in the morning;

- The heart attack that our UTH dealer had when Wiz pulled out his camera phone and took a picture of the table - with the flash on! The woman admonished Wiz several times, with Wiz weakly stating "I didn't know I conuldn't take pictures!" Ha.

- Dealer is down! A dealer is down!
So we're playing craps, and on the other side of the table, there is an African American dealer handling the chips. After abotu 20 minutes, she starts complaining about something - we think it's because of some gamblers over there, although we're not sure what it's all about. 20 miuntes after that, she is replaced by the pit boss- the pit boss is now standing and dealing, paying out $7 when 8's are rolled.
5 minutes later, medics and a wheelchair comes by - and the African American dealer is seated with an oxygen mask - and after observation, is taken away.

Of course, the table doesn't see any delays. The show must go on.

- Wiz is the WORST gooch at the craps table. Saying "seven" at the wrong time, betting $7 unknowingly on the hard ways - just an idiot.......

- .....however, it was clear that I was the worst gooch at the UTH table. Don was ready to slug me multiple times. One hand, Don has 9-6. The flop came J-9-6. I triumphantly yelled: "Hey, you got it, Don!"
The rest of the cards were 8-4; the dealer turns over J-4. Oooooo, sorry about that, Don.....

- It's funny to see Wiz, Don, Mike and I all get critizied for our UTH play by a guy who is betting $5 on the Ante/Blind and $15 on the trips.....

- Janice is now a big fan of Pai Gow.

- I saw the dealer deal herself a Royal Flush last night; however, the 2-card hand was "8-6", so we all pushed.

- I received 4 Aces at Pai Gow. How do you play that? I split it 3-1, with A-K up top. Yes, I won.

- Was going to sit down at a UTH table (for a second go around) and asked a player if I could take the seat next to him.
"Yes - but it will be 45 minutes until we play another hand!!!!!" he yelled.

They were ending a hand....the board had A, Q, J, 10, all of clubs....

The dealer had a 9 of clubs........and this player had the K of clubs.

A Royal in UTH - and he had $10 on the Ante/Blind, and $10 on the trips. That's $5000 for the blind, $500 for the trips. Wow.

- So there was a second UTH table open - and I went over there - it was being dealt by a .....how do you say it now? Midget? Dwarf?....by a height-challenged dealer. Also, the automatic shuffler was broken, so he was shuffling by hand. It was odd. I felt like I was playing against mini-me.

- It wouldn't be UTH at Belterra without getting ripped by the dealer for strategy, as I went in 4x with A-6 suited. The dealer called me "gutsy" and said I shouldn't do that unles I had 10s or better. Yeah, ok. Just pay please.

You think it's bad now, Layup?

Layup - you think parenting is rough now with a newborn?

This afternoon, the phone rang. I paused the TV (Judge Judy) and went to answer the phone. I was on the phone for about 7-10 minutes.

When I got back, the remote was nowhere to be found. Our 16 month old Martin was in the area playing at the time.

I searched for a good 15 minutes - no luck. I bribed our two older kids: "Hey guys, who wants to earn a dollar? Find the remote!"

After 20 minutes, Warren came back and said: "You hid the remote well, Dad! We can't find it!"

I've torn apart the couch 3 times. No luck.

I've looked in the garbage and the toilet. Nope.

It's now 7:30 pm and the remote is still missing.

OVC picks Jan 4

Picks for today :

5 star pick : E Kentucky -4.5
4 star pick : Tn Martin +21
3 star pick : Morehead st -12
2 star pick : E Illinois -4.5
1 star pick : Se Missouri st +4

Have things gotten better?

Dog one to dog two, we do not have the beach. Repeat we have not secured the beach. Heavy resistance from the german who won't go to bed and stop screaming. Repeat we do not hold the beach.

NFL Week 17: Holly

Here we are, at the end of the course - and the last week of the NFL regular season. Both seem anticlimatic.

The 18th at Augusta can truly be one of the great finishing holes in golf. It has provided its share of moments - such as Lyle in 88, where he birdied from teh bunker. The collapse of Norman in 86 (and also - most forget - Kite's missed 7 footer). O'Meara in 98. Phil's putt ("Is it his time? Yes!) in 04.

But if the contest is not in doubt, the 18th is a boring hole. There really is no chance for a disaster (unless you are Arnold Palmer, 1961 - who accepted congratulations as he was walking up the fairway with a one-shot lead. He promptly sculled a bunker shot and made 6). If someone has a two shot lead or more (like Zach, Faldo (96), Immelman, Woods many years), that's it. The tournament is over.

Kind of like this week. The 6 teams in the NFC all have 2 game leads. The field is all set. What are the Vikings playing for here? Don't say "a bye" - I think they may want to get on teh field next week and work out the kinks. And besides, the Steelers, Giants, and others have proven that the home field advantage has diminished over the past 23 years.

And the AFC? The Jets and the Ravens have the 2 stroke lead. Do you really think the Jets will lose- at home - against a team that has nothing to play for? What about the Ravens? Will they actaully let the Raiders beat them? I know, I know, any given Sunday and all that.......but it's very hard to imagine.

My personal 18th hole(s) go back to my college days - the first conference tournament I played in and the last tournament I ever played. In 1990, I was a freshman, and was +4 in the second round at the UAA Championships at Marshfield (MA) CC when I came to 18, a 400 yard par 4. A drive and a 4 iron put me on the wrong tier, 50 feet away; I played about 12 feet of break and heard an audible gasp from our coach's wife; the ball settled down about 4 feet below the hole. I nervously put that in for a career-best 74 at the time, which gave me all-conference honors as a freshman.

The last tournament I played for Case was the 1993 NCAC Championships at Granville, a Donald Ross layout near the campus of Denison University. I was playing well, and I wanted to make all-conference badly, since the talent in this conference was far superior to the talent in the UAA. (It's a long story - at the time, we belonged to two conferences). The 18th has "the most spectactular view in Ohio golf", and was an apporpriate place to end my career. After going +5 on holes 13-15, I came to 18 pretty much knowing I needed a par; a good drive and a wedge put me about 35 feet, requiring another testy two putt. I finished tied for 10th, and on the conference second team.

(If we are talking about a par-3 18th there's no question I put Maketewah in here.........)

Anyway, enough reminiscing. On to the games:

Atl 20, TB 17. Is Matt Ryan going to play for more than a half?

SF 28, StL 10. I'm sure the Rams will "try" to win....but have Suh in mind while playing. Boy, he's a real talent at LB.

NYG 27, Min 20. I don't think the Giants will go out quietly after last week.

Mia 23, Pit 20. The Dolphins will officially end the Steelers' season.

Hou 31, NE 20. I am banking on the Patriots beingextra conservative here.

Det 20, Chi 17, OT. Yes, the Bears put everything in last Monday's game and will overlook the Lions.

Cle 20, Jax 17. Four in a row for Mangini to close the season.

Car 27, NO 13. Too much pride in the Panthers.

Ind 20, Buf 10. I mean, the Jets barely scored on offense versus the Colts last week. The Bills are horrendous. Really - how exactly are they moving the ball?

Sea 23, Ten 20. Hasselbeck will put up one more good game for the home crowd.

SD 21, Was 20. The Chargers will open up a 21-3 lead, then take everyone out.

Bal 28, Oak 13. If the Browns can force 4 interceptions......what can the Ravens force?

KC 23, Den 20. The last wheel falls off Denver's cart.

GB 24, Az 21. Who will stop trying first?

Phi 28, Dal 27. I think both teams value the division title and will make a concerted effort to win this game.

NYJ 20, Cin 14. Again, as I said, the Jets hardly moved the ball vs. the Colts' 2nd stringers. They needed their defense - and the great Curtis Painter - to give them the game. Cincy is better than the Colts' reserves.

Best bets: 15 of them. Last week: 5-7-1; overall: 99-111-3.

SF -8.5

NYG +8

Mia +3

Hou -7

Det +3

Chi/Det under 44

Car -7

Ind +8

Sea +6

Bal -10.5

KC +10

GB +3

Phi +3

Phi/Dal over 47.5

Cin +9.5

OVC Picks - Jan 2

OK, let's start this again: my picks for tonight's games in the OVC:

1 star game:

Tenn St +11 at E Kentucky

2 star game:

Morehead St -5.5 vs. Austin Peay. Austin is not as good as usual.

3 star game:

Ten Tech -3 at SE Missouri St

4 star, lock of the day:

E Illinois -4 vs Jacskonville St.