Tiger's got nothing on me....

Good evening, and thank you for joining me. Many of you on this blog are my friends. Many of you on this blog know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me. Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me for not blogging in sometime. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. As Eric pointed out to me, my real apology to you all will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

So what could pull me out of my posting drought? Yes Vegas. Only a couple of weeks away (2 paychecks to be exact) and I'm getting more and more excited. It seems a little quiet this year which makes some think that this year will be boring, but I'm actually kind of liking all the quiet. This year no arguments about room rates, Palazzo vs Mirage, girls coming or not, how much golfing, when is everyone going to leave, when is everyone going to arrive, and who is staying with who?

This year we have some key players not joining us. Kermit will be a no show for the first time in how many years? 3-4? Ira, who I can't decide whether he made a bigger splash with the group for his crazy craps play or his Megan's law friend, will not be joining us either. They will be joining the sidelines with our friend Micah who I guess still hasn't recovered from that one strange and lonely night at the PaiGow table. Are you ever coming back Micah?

The group is now down to a very strong 8. And finally it looks as if we will have 2 to a room, which come to think of it, might be a first. And we all seemed very focused.

Vegas Superstitions

OK, we are less than 4 weeks away from Vegas. 4 weeks! After this week, I need a week in Vegas, with my wife gone for a week in Europe and then coming back with the stomach flu. Nice.

So, to start off, what are our superstitions in Vegas? What I mean by this is - what will you (or won't you do) at the table? In the casino? You may call these "idiosyncracies", or "priniciples" - but you'll soon see what I mean..

Craps:
1. I always want to have a spot at the end of the table, preferably in the "straight out" position. Next best thing is to have a spot right next to the dealer (not the stickan). I'll do the hook ok. I really do not like the play when I am 1 or 2 away from the box man.
2. Open table? Hell yes! Absolutely.
3. I prefer to have the dealers on my left (and the boxman on the right) if I am at the head of the table.
4. I will not tip the dealers on the pass line anymore. In 2006, I think, I lost 12 straight pass line bets when I put something for the dealers on the line. No more. I will throw a dollar on the field on the come out instead of the line.
5. Within a roll, I will always throw the dice the same way. Right hand low, lef thand lob, whatever. Whatever I started with when I got the dice, I will not change. However, once I seven out and then the dice come back to me, I will change my method of throwing.
6. If I stumble or balk when picking up the dice, I will do a Ben Crane - set the dice down, reset, and start the routine over again.
7. Hitting chips at the end of the table? Hell yes! I even aim for them (if Wiz isn't there as a target).
8. I love the hard 4 and 10, don't bet the hard 6 and 8. This is foolish, I know....
9. Dice choice? I will pick two dice that add up to 8. If I don't have that (say, 3 1's, a 2 and a 5), I will jiggle the dice to get an 8.

Blackjack
1. I don't like to sit at 3rd base. Too much pressure. I actually love 1st base.
2. From about 2003-2007, I hated cutting. Now, I don't mind it so much. And I do believe in "thin to win".
3. I need to start asking for 2 less than I desire. For instance, if I have 14, I will ask for a 5. The cards can hear you, think you want a 5, and will give you a 6 or 7. Ha! I tricked them!
4. I love the long wipe of the hand across the cards to signify "stay" - especially if I have 20 vs a dealer 5. Really, Mr. Einstein? You are staying? Yes sir!
5. Unlike craps, I am a little leery of open blackjack tables.
6. Insurance? Mer is not on this trip to guide me. I am not a crazy zealot against insurance. I will take it when I have a feeling.

Pai Gow (Poker)
1. I pick up the 7 cards and try to place them in the same hand when I start winning. I will change hands on a losing streak.
2. I love the "Jeff Zahn" method of exposing one card at a time, and then letting a big sigh when the 7th card does not pair my hand, or fill a straight or a flush. This is from my dad who always, always did this when picking up his hand in bridge. The 13th card was never good for him.
3. I am not afraid to ask the dealer for help.

UTH
Still too new to have superstitions yet here. We will have to develop some on this trip. Unlike blackjack, I don't mind sitting at 3rd base. In fact, I will sit on the corners at this table.

Sports Book
1. One-stop shopping. I try to make one trip for a group of games. One trip to get 8 tickets.
2. I will order the tickets by tip-off time; earliest tip-off goes in front.

Roulette
1. I don't like sitting at the end of the table (near the column bets). Like to be as near to the wheel as possible.

Slots
1. If I have to, I will only play slots with a handle - and I will use the handle.

Two quick questions

Two questions that will make you think:

1. I am wrapping Freddie's brithday presents; one of the presents is a gift from Warren which is Chinese Checkers. Nice! On the box, it notes that it is "made in China".

Do the workers actaully know what they are making? Or do they have no clue what this bastardized game really is? Is this the equivalent of "Taco Bell" to Mexicans? Or Sbarro to Sicilians?

2. Was watching the women's downhill skiing and saw two horrific falls by some Europeans. (For clips, go here. ).

Is it bad that my first thought is:
"Hey - they crossed the finish line. I wonder what their time was? That last split must have been pretty bad".

They don't actually get a DNS for this, do they?

30 days away!

It's less than 4 weeks until Selection Sunday, and 30 days to Vegas. Let's start the ball rolling by our annual Bracketology posts, where we take the latest ESPN Bracket projection and pick games to fit in these pre-determined categories. Send ideas on for new cateogries - or requests to stops these insane posts - along.

The Kampen Game
(2) Purdue v (15) Coastal Carolina

The Wiz Heart Attack Game
(8) Missouri v (9) Clemson

The Collective Hold Your Breath Game
(8) Maryland v (9) Old Dominion
(note: Could also be the Micah Broken Bone game)

Layup's 5-12 Lock
(5) Wake Forest v (12) Marquette

Eric's Ohio Underdog Game
(4) BYU v (13) Kent St

Layup's $1000 on the Money Line Game
(4) Vanderbilt v (13) Northeastern

The 7-10 game no one cares about
(7) Richmond v (10) Florida St

Jay's Thursday 9 am 1st upset of the tournament
(7) UNLV v (10) Rhode Island

Wiz's ACC Lock
(8) Illinois v (9) Georgia Tech

The Virginia is for Lover's Game
(6) Butler v (11) Virginia Tech

The Game only Eric cares about
(7) Northern Iowa v (10) Dayton.....too perfect

The Random over/under game for Laura to have action on
(4) New Mexico v (13) Oklahoma St

Mike's Philly Cheesesteak Game
(5) Temple v (12) St Mary's

The Leland "I might as well flip a coin...I'd do better" game
(3) Wisconsin v (14) Weber St

Let's All Go Crazy in the Cabana for this possible 2nd round Game:
(1) Syracuse v (8) Maryland
followed by
(2) Purdue v (7) Xavier

20 years ago today

I read that today is a special day in the sports world - 20 years ago today, on February 11, 1990, Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in the 10th round to become the undisputed Heavyweight champion of the world. It still remains the biggest upset in boxing.

Two thoughts come to mind:

1. This is one of those sporting events that you recall exactly where you were when it happened or heard the news of the event. I'm not talking about events in which you have an interest in - hell, I can tell you where I was for every game of the 2001 Cleveland Browns season - but events that you don't have a real rooting interest, yet captivates you.

Over the past 25 years or so, there aren't many "special" events that fall into this category. Off the top of my head:
- 1986 World Series
- 1986 Masters
- 1989 Princeton v Georgetown
- 1990 Douglas v Tyson
- 1991 World Series
- 1994 Stanley Cup
- 1996 Masters
- 1997 Masters
- 2001 World Series
- Super Bowl 36 (Feb, 2002)
- Super Bowl 42 (Feb, 2008)

Others?

Where was I? It was late Saturday night in my dorm room, I think about 1 am or so. I was a freshman. We were probably drinking wine coolers or some God-awful concoction like Wyler's Cherry Kool Aid and Jack Daniels*. And then I heard the news of the Boxing upset.........

2. But how did I get the news? It was 1990, and it was 1 am. The dorm room did not have cable. Our rooms were wired for the internet - Case was the first college campus to provide all students with a "fiber-optic" internet connection - but there was no espn.com or anything. News, sports stories and others could be read off of usenet - but stories on Usenet were at least 1 hour behind real time.

So how did I find out the news of Tyson's loss?

Well, remember "Dial-a-Phone"? This was a service from the phone compnay where you can call a number, punch in a four digit code, and get the latest news, sports, weather, and so forth on the phone? You had to listen to a 30-second advertisement for a law firm, or for a car dealership ("The Showcase of Beautiful Cars....Hal Artz.....5930 Mayfield"), or some such nonsense. Then you got a 90-second recap of your requested topic.

I would call this every 30-60 minutes on the weekend - I think I was in a fantasy NBA league, for God's sake, and I was still a big Sacramento Kings fan at that time. So the Kings were probabl playing late, I was trying to get an update (or a final) at 1 in the morning.....

...and that's when the news of Tyson's upset came across.

Was this a joke? How do you verify? There was no breaking news on the TV- again, we didn't have cable. They weren't going to break into SNL - or, worse "Showtime at the Apollo" to tell viewers that Tyson lost. I stood there, dumbfounded. I told some people in the dorm - half didn't care, and half thought I was joking them.

Looking back at it, this story must seems completely insane. However, this was cutting edge technology in 1990. Breaking news by touch tone phone!


* - I swear, this is the actual drink that made me sick for the first week of Freshman year.

The definition of unexpected

After putting the kids to bed tonight, I turned on the TV and started playing one of the TiVo'd episodes of "The $25,000 Pyramid". Yes, with my new iPhone and the Direct TV app, I can make sure I don't miss any reruns of the Pyramid!

I was half-paying attention when I heard...

"This is The $25,000 Pyramid!!

Our special guests....

from '227', Jackee Harry! "

Wait, what?
This I gotta see......

Logistics Homework

The discussion on whether to expand the NCAA tournament from 64 (or really, 65) teams to 96 fascinates me. Most of the discussion focuses on whether the tournament should be diluted with the extra 32 marginal teams. Some are focused on whether the 32 best teams should have a bye.

I'm focused on the scheduling - how in the hell would this work, especially for TV?

Right now, a 64 team tournament means 6 rounds - 2 rounds per weekend, and it's done in 3 weeks. It's perfect. If we add another round into the tournament, how exactly would this be done?

Let's start at the end, first.
And let's use actual dates. This year, selection Sunday is on March 14; the first weekend is March 18-21; the second weekend is March 25-28; the championship is scheduled for Apr 5.

- Would CBS still require the championship game to be played on the first Monday in April (Opening Day Monday)? If it is any later, you get into Masters week (starting Thursday, Apr 8).
- So if we are set with the final 2 on the Monday, Apr 5, this means the semis are on Sat, Apr 3.
- Are we still set on the final 4 figured out on Sun, Mar 28? If so, why?
If so, now we have to add an extra set of games in a two week period, from Mar 14-28.

A couple of notes here:

- Each region would not have 16 teams, but 24. There would be 10 (not 6) games played in the prelim rounds to get to the sweet 16 (4 games in Rd 1, 4 games in Rd 2, 2 games in Rd 3). Would we play 2 of those regions on Wed-Fri-Sun - and then the other 2 on Thu-Sat-Mon?
- If you don't want to play the 3rd round games on the Monday after, then you have to start Tuesday and play Tue-Thu-Sat and Wed-Fri-Sun. But - is it fair to announce the bracket on Sun, Mar 14 and then force 16 teams to play on Tue, Mar 16? Is it fair for Virginia to be in Charlottsville on selection Sunday and then be forced to play a Round 1 game in Spokane on Tuesday afternoon? I say no.

- I think the earliest teams could actually play is Thursday. Thursday Mar 18 would be round 1. Thu-Fri would have 16 games each, and get 96 teams down to 64. Then we would be at 32 teams by the end of Sunday, with another 16 games played on Sat and Sunday. Now where the hell are we putting an extra round of games?

- If the above assumptions are true, this means we need three rounds - from 32-16, 16-8, and 8-4 - from Mon Mar 21 until Sun Mar 28.
- Would Round 3 - to get from 32-16, containing 16 games - need to be played on Mon-Tue, Mar 21-22. Ugh. This would mean moving the excitement of today's round 2 and putting it on a Monday-Tuesday. I would hate this.

- OK, move Round 3 to Thu-Fri, Mar 24-25. Then this means the Sweet Sixteen games are Sat-Sun, Mar 26-27.......but then this means the regional finals would be played on the following weeknights, Mon and Tue, Mar 28-29? We would have a doubleheader on Mon and Tue night. Do we want this?

OK, that's a lot of rambling - but do you see the point? What assumptions are wrong above - and what aspect of this "perfect" tournament will change if we move to 96?

Here's my solution....

- The final should not be on Monday - but move it back 2 days until Wednesday, April 7.
- Have the national semis played as a doubleheader (7 pm ET and 9:30 pm ET) on Monday, April 5.
- Have a quadruple header at the same location on the current Final Four Saturday (April 3). 8 teams - 4 games - starting at 1 pm, 3:30 pm, 7 pm and 9:30 pm. Can you imagine what an orgy this would be? This would actually make a "final four" ticket worth something.
- With this solution, the first two weekends would be the same. The only drawback is that the top seeds (seeds 1-8) would only play once on opening weekend.

Thoughts? There are no good solutions here...only mine.

An Awkward Moment

Actual phone conversation with Leland last night:

Leland: Hello?

Me: Hey. You called me earlier. What's up?

Leland: Can you talk? Where are you at?

Me: I'm at karate.

(long, long uncomfortable pause)



Leland: Um, you aren't actually doing Karate, are you? Cause if so, I want pictures of you in the white karate suit.....

I have a feeling that Kermit knew this...

It's a fact! Eating more pork improves your sex life!

And you wondered why pork chops were the main dish at our wedding.....

Well hello there!

Hi everyone! Remember me? It's been about 2 weeks since I posted - so let's start the fun again with some complete odds and ends.....

1. Had a great visit to CA to see Layup and the new arrival, Morgan. Apparently Layup now blames us (me?) on giving him the "Ohio Flu", which I'm sure in his mind is just slightly worse than the H1N1. I'm just preparing him for a life with a child - and their exposure to 47 communicable illness at the same time.

1a. 8 year olds have no sense of temperature. We went to the beach - Freddie runs in the ocean like it is June in the Gulf of Mexico. The water was - at best - 60 degrees. That didn't stop him - he was in there for a good 30 minutes.

1b. The first morning I got up in our hotel room at 5 am - jet lag. However, I wasn't the first one up. Freddie was up and playing his PSP on the bathroom floor. At 5:30 we got in the car and went to the grocery store. Two notes about that:
- stepping outside at 5:30 in the complete darkness and being wide awake - and the temperature being a beautfily 59 degrees? It felt exactly like an early Vegas morning. Got my blood rushing for March.
- so who is in a grocery store at 5:30 in the morning? Just the stockers. And, in California, what is the ethnicity of the stockers? Of course.
So Freddie blurts out: "Why are there so many Spanish people working at this store?" Alright....have another donut and keep the questions to yourself until we get back into the car.

2. Got a magazine from Case touting the Engineering department and the faculty. In there there was a picture of the professors at the university.

It's been 20 years since I started at Case - and 5 of my professors are still there! These guys - Buchner (my adviser), Loparo, Chankong, Malakooti, Sreenath - were all middle age (40? 45?) when I started. And they are still there! (And frankly, they all look the same!)

And it's not just my department. Many of Janice's professors are still around; I looked at the Computer Engineering faculty and saw many names that Kermit bitched about (the Ozoygulu's, Merat, ...). Is this normal? I mean, in P&G, we switch roles every 3-5 years. I know it's vastly different....but don't these guys retire?

3. Driver Search 2010 is on. I'm looking at the Taylor Made R9 (because I am really comfortable with Taylor Made's over the past 10 years) or the new Cobra (since I really love my Cobra hybrid). The Titleist are too unforgiving for me, and I just am not comfortable with a Ping. It's a 9.5 degree driver with a regular shaft for me - I got the specs down, I just need to find one I am comfortable with.

Kentucky Basketball

I know I am the only one, but anytime I see UK hoops playing this year and I hear the name "Bledsoe" I always do a double take. To look up and see an athletic black basketball player, instead of a tall white slow QB - well it just freaks me out.

Casino Experiences

Well, I've had a chance to go to the casino twice over the past 3 weeks - once for Wiz's "fact finding" visit in late December and last night with Janice as a birthday gift.

(By the way - I'm trying to convince Janice to bake this cake - candles and all - for today, my 38th. She quickly rolled her eyes and called me a nerd. I love it!)

I swear, I think I see more odd things at the Indiana casino than the Vegas casinos. A list of the things that stick out from the last two visits:

- The pure joy that Don, Wiz, Mike and I all felt when we rolled into the casino and saw an open UTH table at 9 in the morning;

- The heart attack that our UTH dealer had when Wiz pulled out his camera phone and took a picture of the table - with the flash on! The woman admonished Wiz several times, with Wiz weakly stating "I didn't know I conuldn't take pictures!" Ha.

- Dealer is down! A dealer is down!
So we're playing craps, and on the other side of the table, there is an African American dealer handling the chips. After abotu 20 minutes, she starts complaining about something - we think it's because of some gamblers over there, although we're not sure what it's all about. 20 miuntes after that, she is replaced by the pit boss- the pit boss is now standing and dealing, paying out $7 when 8's are rolled.
5 minutes later, medics and a wheelchair comes by - and the African American dealer is seated with an oxygen mask - and after observation, is taken away.

Of course, the table doesn't see any delays. The show must go on.

- Wiz is the WORST gooch at the craps table. Saying "seven" at the wrong time, betting $7 unknowingly on the hard ways - just an idiot.......

- .....however, it was clear that I was the worst gooch at the UTH table. Don was ready to slug me multiple times. One hand, Don has 9-6. The flop came J-9-6. I triumphantly yelled: "Hey, you got it, Don!"
The rest of the cards were 8-4; the dealer turns over J-4. Oooooo, sorry about that, Don.....

- It's funny to see Wiz, Don, Mike and I all get critizied for our UTH play by a guy who is betting $5 on the Ante/Blind and $15 on the trips.....

- Janice is now a big fan of Pai Gow.

- I saw the dealer deal herself a Royal Flush last night; however, the 2-card hand was "8-6", so we all pushed.

- I received 4 Aces at Pai Gow. How do you play that? I split it 3-1, with A-K up top. Yes, I won.

- Was going to sit down at a UTH table (for a second go around) and asked a player if I could take the seat next to him.
"Yes - but it will be 45 minutes until we play another hand!!!!!" he yelled.

They were ending a hand....the board had A, Q, J, 10, all of clubs....

The dealer had a 9 of clubs........and this player had the K of clubs.

A Royal in UTH - and he had $10 on the Ante/Blind, and $10 on the trips. That's $5000 for the blind, $500 for the trips. Wow.

- So there was a second UTH table open - and I went over there - it was being dealt by a .....how do you say it now? Midget? Dwarf?....by a height-challenged dealer. Also, the automatic shuffler was broken, so he was shuffling by hand. It was odd. I felt like I was playing against mini-me.

- It wouldn't be UTH at Belterra without getting ripped by the dealer for strategy, as I went in 4x with A-6 suited. The dealer called me "gutsy" and said I shouldn't do that unles I had 10s or better. Yeah, ok. Just pay please.

You think it's bad now, Layup?

Layup - you think parenting is rough now with a newborn?

This afternoon, the phone rang. I paused the TV (Judge Judy) and went to answer the phone. I was on the phone for about 7-10 minutes.

When I got back, the remote was nowhere to be found. Our 16 month old Martin was in the area playing at the time.

I searched for a good 15 minutes - no luck. I bribed our two older kids: "Hey guys, who wants to earn a dollar? Find the remote!"

After 20 minutes, Warren came back and said: "You hid the remote well, Dad! We can't find it!"

I've torn apart the couch 3 times. No luck.

I've looked in the garbage and the toilet. Nope.

It's now 7:30 pm and the remote is still missing.

OVC picks Jan 4

Picks for today :

5 star pick : E Kentucky -4.5
4 star pick : Tn Martin +21
3 star pick : Morehead st -12
2 star pick : E Illinois -4.5
1 star pick : Se Missouri st +4

Have things gotten better?

Dog one to dog two, we do not have the beach. Repeat we have not secured the beach. Heavy resistance from the german who won't go to bed and stop screaming. Repeat we do not hold the beach.

NFL Week 17: Holly

Here we are, at the end of the course - and the last week of the NFL regular season. Both seem anticlimatic.

The 18th at Augusta can truly be one of the great finishing holes in golf. It has provided its share of moments - such as Lyle in 88, where he birdied from teh bunker. The collapse of Norman in 86 (and also - most forget - Kite's missed 7 footer). O'Meara in 98. Phil's putt ("Is it his time? Yes!) in 04.

But if the contest is not in doubt, the 18th is a boring hole. There really is no chance for a disaster (unless you are Arnold Palmer, 1961 - who accepted congratulations as he was walking up the fairway with a one-shot lead. He promptly sculled a bunker shot and made 6). If someone has a two shot lead or more (like Zach, Faldo (96), Immelman, Woods many years), that's it. The tournament is over.

Kind of like this week. The 6 teams in the NFC all have 2 game leads. The field is all set. What are the Vikings playing for here? Don't say "a bye" - I think they may want to get on teh field next week and work out the kinks. And besides, the Steelers, Giants, and others have proven that the home field advantage has diminished over the past 23 years.

And the AFC? The Jets and the Ravens have the 2 stroke lead. Do you really think the Jets will lose- at home - against a team that has nothing to play for? What about the Ravens? Will they actaully let the Raiders beat them? I know, I know, any given Sunday and all that.......but it's very hard to imagine.

My personal 18th hole(s) go back to my college days - the first conference tournament I played in and the last tournament I ever played. In 1990, I was a freshman, and was +4 in the second round at the UAA Championships at Marshfield (MA) CC when I came to 18, a 400 yard par 4. A drive and a 4 iron put me on the wrong tier, 50 feet away; I played about 12 feet of break and heard an audible gasp from our coach's wife; the ball settled down about 4 feet below the hole. I nervously put that in for a career-best 74 at the time, which gave me all-conference honors as a freshman.

The last tournament I played for Case was the 1993 NCAC Championships at Granville, a Donald Ross layout near the campus of Denison University. I was playing well, and I wanted to make all-conference badly, since the talent in this conference was far superior to the talent in the UAA. (It's a long story - at the time, we belonged to two conferences). The 18th has "the most spectactular view in Ohio golf", and was an apporpriate place to end my career. After going +5 on holes 13-15, I came to 18 pretty much knowing I needed a par; a good drive and a wedge put me about 35 feet, requiring another testy two putt. I finished tied for 10th, and on the conference second team.

(If we are talking about a par-3 18th there's no question I put Maketewah in here.........)

Anyway, enough reminiscing. On to the games:

Atl 20, TB 17. Is Matt Ryan going to play for more than a half?

SF 28, StL 10. I'm sure the Rams will "try" to win....but have Suh in mind while playing. Boy, he's a real talent at LB.

NYG 27, Min 20. I don't think the Giants will go out quietly after last week.

Mia 23, Pit 20. The Dolphins will officially end the Steelers' season.

Hou 31, NE 20. I am banking on the Patriots beingextra conservative here.

Det 20, Chi 17, OT. Yes, the Bears put everything in last Monday's game and will overlook the Lions.

Cle 20, Jax 17. Four in a row for Mangini to close the season.

Car 27, NO 13. Too much pride in the Panthers.

Ind 20, Buf 10. I mean, the Jets barely scored on offense versus the Colts last week. The Bills are horrendous. Really - how exactly are they moving the ball?

Sea 23, Ten 20. Hasselbeck will put up one more good game for the home crowd.

SD 21, Was 20. The Chargers will open up a 21-3 lead, then take everyone out.

Bal 28, Oak 13. If the Browns can force 4 interceptions......what can the Ravens force?

KC 23, Den 20. The last wheel falls off Denver's cart.

GB 24, Az 21. Who will stop trying first?

Phi 28, Dal 27. I think both teams value the division title and will make a concerted effort to win this game.

NYJ 20, Cin 14. Again, as I said, the Jets hardly moved the ball vs. the Colts' 2nd stringers. They needed their defense - and the great Curtis Painter - to give them the game. Cincy is better than the Colts' reserves.

Best bets: 15 of them. Last week: 5-7-1; overall: 99-111-3.

SF -8.5

NYG +8

Mia +3

Hou -7

Det +3

Chi/Det under 44

Car -7

Ind +8

Sea +6

Bal -10.5

KC +10

GB +3

Phi +3

Phi/Dal over 47.5

Cin +9.5

OVC Picks - Jan 2

OK, let's start this again: my picks for tonight's games in the OVC:

1 star game:

Tenn St +11 at E Kentucky

2 star game:

Morehead St -5.5 vs. Austin Peay. Austin is not as good as usual.

3 star game:

Ten Tech -3 at SE Missouri St

4 star, lock of the day:

E Illinois -4 vs Jacskonville St.

Fast Food

With a new baby and little support locally, I have had a great opportunity to get involved again with fast food. Now the strange thing is that I've actually lost about 10 pounds since the new baby despite eating some of this crap below. Comments and thoughts are welcome.

Top 10:

10. Taco Bell- The only way to explain this ranking is that their soft tacos must trigger some memories of the great times back in high school, sitting outside of the cockeysville taco bell with the gang laughing and plowing through tacos. Currier and I still need to have our soft taco eat off someday.

9. Arby's- This used to be in my top 5, but I guess with expansion in southern CA, it has worn out its welcome. The only time it is still a treat to me is when I stop for it in Baker on my way to and from Vegas. And the only thing keeping them in this list is their Arby's and Horsey sauce, that I could put on anything and it would taste great.

8. In-n-Out- I'm starting to think that I enjoy a McDonalds cheeseburger just the same as one of their hamburgers. And I don't have to wait 20 minutes to eat it like at In-n-Out. Their "animal style" fries are still the best out there.

7. Wendy's- I love their grilled chicken sandwich, Jr bacon cheeseburger, and the ability to get chili or a side salad with my combo. Their honey mustard is my second favorite dipping sauce next to the hot mustard at McDonalds.

6. McDonalds- Their breakfast food is head and shoulders above everyone elses with their sausage mcmuffin being my favorite sandwich. And everytime I try a new place I seem to be comparing it to McDonalds. They have that stupid monopoly game that I'm a sucker for and of course my favorite sauce in hot mustard. And how could I forget about the mcribb. mmmmm.

5. Panera- I guess one would consider this fast food. Their sandwiches are solid and one of my favorite soups, french onion is outstanding for a fast food joint.

4. Chipotle- Had one of their burritos last night and I forgot how amazing their food continues to be.

3. Panda Express- This has made a huge jump since the last time I thought about this list. I've tried some other Chinese fast food, but theirs continues to be the best and cheapest. A two order consisting of Bejing Beef and Orange chicken makes so excited at times.

2. Chick Filet- Best chicken nuggets hands down. Best chicken sandwich by far. Now that they have Diet Dr. Pepper and their Chick Filet sauce available it's a struggle for me not to eat this everyday.

1. Chronic Taco- A Southern CA chain that has by far the best fish tacos and nachos I've come across. Their chicken nachos, listed as an appetizer, will fill me up on its own.

Yes, Really

I saw this score flash across the screen the other day and had to check it out.

http://www.cbssports.com/ncaawbasketball/gamecenter/recap/NCAAW_20091228_NCCEN@DUKE

Wow. I'm stunned.

As a side note, I'm completely hooked on UTH. I may cancel my room for March as I suspect I'll be glued to a seat at this table. I know, its a long term net loss, but I'm hooked. I'll have a card with "the book" strategy ready to go for those that are interested.

NFL Week 16: Nandina

What the hell type of plant is "Nandina"? Sounds like that old song fromTony Orlando and Dawn. I've never heard of Nandina - they should just name this hole "Eisenhower" and get it over with.

The 17th, to me, is a kind of a filler hole. Not much excitement happens here. You can'tget in too much trouble - even if you did hit the Eisenhower tree, you should still make bogey. The green is sloped severly, but I don't think it is too exceptional on this course. Memories? Well, of course, "Maybe....yes sir!" was born here, O'Meara birdied this hole to quietly tie for the lead in 98, and then we have Perry's bladed chip. Any other memories?

( I assume most of you have heard why the tree is named the Eisenhower tree....if not, click here..... I mean, really, we all have our demons on each course we'd like to eliminate. The Zahn bunker on Blue Ash 7. I think Don would like to blow up the 17th green at Blue Ash and start over. (see below). Steve has been in the creek left of #3 at Granville many times.

The hole doesn't distinguish the field. If you were out of it - you're not going to get back in it with a birdie. Likeiwse, you're not going to see doubles to take people out. If you are in contention, you most likely will stay in contention after 17.

With the clouded mess inthe AFC, are there any true elimination games? May the Mia-Hou loser is out. Is Pit eliminated with a loss? Other than that, you could see a scenario where an 8-8 team gets a wild card - meaning a loss today may not eliminate anyone (like the Jets, Jaguars, etc.)

My personal 17th? Well, I like the 17th at Blue Ash, mainly because I have a 90% success rate vs. Don on that hole. Invariably, he will be 50 feet away on the wrong side of the hole and 3 jack, while I hack away from the trees on the left and make par. 1-up going to 18!

However, I have to look back on a course from 1991 - Longue Vue Club in Pittsurgh, site of the 91 UAA Championship. I was struggling down the stretch, trying to make all-conference for a second year in a row. 17 was a 400 yard par 4; I hit 3-wood, 4 iron on to the green - I was a terrible long iron player back then, so hitting the green with a4 iron was an accompishment. I then sank a 25 footer for birdie. A par on the last gave me an 8th place finish and all conference honors.

This was the tournament where my teammate, the immortal Brian Stadlemaier, taught me a new words. As I was around the 18th green after finishing my round, I was wishing bad luck for all the players coming in so I could improe my position. He calmly pointed out that I was practicining "Schatenfreud".

What the hell is that?

"The pleasure you get when seeing bad things happen to others".

Oh yes! Yes, I do experience that a lot. Like hopefully today when the Ravens and Chiefs win.

(We could have 15 blog posts about Stadlemaier. Maybe the next time I am in Vegas, I will pull racquetballs ou of my bag and practice putting with them before the round in his honor).

On to the picks:

Bal 27, Pit 20: The Steelers are not that good.

NYG 31, Car 16. I think the Giants are ready for their final push for the playoffs.

NO 30, TB 13. The Saints will be eager to right the ship.

NE 23, Jax 20. As with the Steelers, the Pats are overrated.

Cle 17, Oak 16. You just KNOW that Derek Anderson will throw for 300 yards this week and next - creating another QB controversy for 2010.

Cin 20, KC 17. Boy, oh boy, do I want the Bengals to lose here.

Atl 17, Buf 10. Brohm! Redman! The battle of Louisville!

Mia 27, Hou 20. It's time for the Texans to lose, once the games count again.

GB 28, Sea 17. I need another great day from Rodgers in my championship game in our church league.

SF 30, Det 20. What happens when bad offenses play the Lions? See the Browns this year.

Az 28, StL 13. I can't figure if the Cardinals are rising or sliding.

NYJ 22, Ind 20. Just a gut feeling here.

Phi 23, Den 17. It's about time for the Eagles to fall into their "one-dimnesional" all-passing offense, isn't it?

Was 23, Dal 20. I can't decide whether the Redskns willplay hard vs. the Cowboys, or if they are as bad as the "mail-it-in" Browns of 2008. I reserve the right to change this pick.

Min 20, Chi 17. I think this will be a close game. Cutler can't fail again on Monday night...can he?

Best bets: 13 of them. Last week: 8-6; overall: 94-104-2

Bal +2.5

NYG -8

NO -14

TB/NO under 49

Jax +10

KC +13

Buf/Atl under 40.5

Mia -1.5

Det +14

Det/SF over 41

NYJ +4

Was +7

Chi +7

This shit is crazy

Not good crazy, bad crazy. I'm so sleep deprived I'm actually blacking out. I don't even remember getting up in the middle of the night and helping carol with the baby. Apparently I did, several times actually, but I really don't remember a thing. Things have been so bad that I accidentally opened a 04 Cab I was saving for....actually I don't know what the reason was but I was saving it for something and ended up drinking it out of a plastic cup as I took Morgan for a 2 hour walk to calm her down and put her to sleep. Yes, drank a BV 04 Cab out of a plastic cup.

Some other highlights:

1. I've spent more time on Itunes buying lullaby music than on my fantasy teams. Let's just say I'm out in everyone of my fantasy leagues and I'm knee deep in some new age piano/wave music.

2. It took me one hour to drive to Baby's R Us, buy a humidifier, eat at Chick-a- Fillet, and return home, but it took me almost 90 minutes to get out the door to do these things.

3. Speaking of Baby's R Us, fuck them. Fuck everyone in that place. What a fucking rip off. I wouldn't step foot in that place if people didn't send us gift cards. So overpriced, the employees are absolute idiots, and the merchandise seems dirty. I've fallen in love with Amazon.

4. Almost got in an accident today because I was playing UTH on my i phone. I can't stop playing. No sleep and trying to read my phone to see if I was go 4 times or check caused me to swerve into the lane next to me. I stopped playing for 5 minutes and then resumed.

5. I'm going to video tape Morgan the next time she goes into one of her 3 hour scream fests that sends me over the edge so people believe me. Spent yesterday down at Carol's friends house and Morgan slept the entire time. I'm then going to save this and use it as a reason why I'm not going to pay for a $100K wedding or allow her to wear skirts.

Last Minute Gift Ideas

Are you searching for a last-minute present for that special someone? How about a gift for the author(s) on this blog who would appreciate a nice gesture from the many readers?

Look no further! Click here for wonderful deals on last minute gifts!

I am surprised that the Richfield Coliseum is not on this list. Or has that already been blown to smithereens?

NFL Week 15: Redbud

Well, here we are at the most pivotal and historic hole at Augusta. The 16th. So many memories here: Nicklaus in 75 - and then again in 86. The start of Sneed's choke in 79. Tiger and the failed high five in 05. Perry's shot last year that should have sewed it up for him.



It seems that after this hole, the contenders are set. This is the last chance for anyone that are 2-3 back to make the run and hopefully charge up the board. I remember Nicklaus's miracle run in 98 - as a 52 year old - making the charge and getting to within 3 or 4 of O'Meara and Duval. He came to the 16th - and had a 15 footer for birdie. It was a must make if he wanted any chance to win his 7th jacket.



He missed, and ended up 4 back in a tie for 6th. If he made this putt, he would have gotten to within 2, and who knows what would have happened.



By the way - it's time to move the pin here. It's been nice to have that pin down in the back left for 20 years or so - but now it seems easy and routine. Hit the ball on the slope, and let it roll down. That's an awfully large target for the 70th hole of a major.



I really believe that the Sunday pins should change every 5 years or so. My rotation to use for 2010-2015:


10: Back right ( The Hoch position)
11: Back left (the Mize position)
12: Right (ok, we will keep that)
13: Back left (giving them an impossible pitch if they go over)
14: Right (like 86)
15: Left, in the sliver
16: Back right
17: Front?
18: Back. I'm starting to hate the front left. Again, the payers can aim for the slope, giving them a bigger target than it seems.


Anyway, this is the 15 footer for a lot of teams, like Dallas (who made the putt), Miami, Tennessee, Atlanta, San Fran, Pit. A loss here and those teams are done. Period.

As for my personal 16th hole, the best I could think of is the 16th from an old favorite course, the 16th at Apple Valley. Apple Valley hosted the Ohio Public Golfers' champ 6 times over the past 12-13 years - and the 16th is a 170 yard par 3 with water (short). The green is two -tiered, and long is usually death (although not for Kermit). It seems innocent, until you get on the wrong tier or miss the green on the wrong side.

To the picks:

NE 24, Buf 17. I'm starting to think this Pats team is fatally flawed. Could they lose in the 1st round at home?


Hou 24, StL 10. My God, Keith Null was awful last week.


Ten 27, Mia 23. The Game of the Week here. A slugfest to the end.


Arz 31, Det 10. A classic bounce back game for Warner.


NYJ 20, Atl 17. The Jets continue to rise while feasting on inferior competition.


KC 20, Cle 16. Do we really see the Browns winning 2 in a row?


Den 27, Oak 9. It's Charlie Frye! I've seen this movie before, and I know how it ends.


SD 27, Cin 16. Any guesses on how the Bengals will respond?


Phi 20, SF 13. San Fran is incompentent on offense, especially on the road.


GB 27, Pit 20. I really do feel like the Steelers are imploding from within.


Sea 24, TB 13. The Seahawks are a different team at home - a decent one.


Bal 24, Chi 9. I've seen this movie too - a hungry Ravens team vs. an opponent rolling over.


Min 28, Car 17. Why is this game on Sunday night?


Was 27, NYG 20. Another Monday night surprise by the home team.


Best bets: 14 of them. Last week: 6-8. Overall: 86-98-2.





Hou/Stl under 43.5
Ten/Mia over 43
Arz -14
Arz/Det under 47
Atl +7
Den -14
SD -7
SF/Phi under 40.5
GB +2
GB/Pit over 41
Sea -6.5
Bal -11
Chi/Bal under 39
Was +3

Wow. That's all I can say about this entire kid thing. Instead of writing this long post and having all the current parents just say "I told you so" the best way I can describe what is going on in my world right now is relate this situation to the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan. Two nights ago I woke up and walked into the living room and then everything went to slow motion. Baby crying, dirty diapers everywhere, Carol crying on the couch, and I think one of our cats was walking by me dragging the corpse of a dead mouse.

NFL Week 14: Firethorn

First of all - most of you know the news by now. Layup and Carol had their baby yesterday (early) morning.....a baby girl, 7 lb 6 oz. Name forthcoming. Everyone is doing well - or as well as can be expected! Congrats to the new parents!

Well, here we are at what I think is the greatest hole on the course. It's just an expertly designed hole - a shortish par 5 that allows most of the field to go for it in 2 - but the target area is quite small and there aren't any "nice" bailout areas. You want to lay up? Fine - now you have an 80 yard downhill pitch to a car hood.

The tournament, I think, is shaped by ths hole more than any other. Starting with Sarazen in 1935, Firethorn has decided many a tournament. Think Nicklaus (and Ballesteros!) in 86. Beck in 93. Norman's last stand in 99. Rose in 08.

(Ok - Layup and I are still pissed at that, as our sleeper pick for 08 hits two in the water on 15 in the third round to douse our chances. This - along with not picking Tiger that year - caused us to finish one spot out of the money).

This is where shots can be made up in a hurry - and given away quickly. This is the turning point of the home stretch.

And we are at that point in the NFL season. Will the contenders eagle? Or hit it in the pond? We've already seen one fraud be exposed, as the Steelers made an 8 this week and are now out - much to the joy of the gallery. Will the Dolphins make an eagle? The Niners? Will the Packers dump one in the pond? Ravens? Jets? Giants? This is a make-or-break week for many teams.

My personal 15th hole? Wow....not hard at all.....a reachable par 5 that has a memorable bridge (like the Sarazen bridge) and is sentimental? Easy....

The 15th at SugarBush, up in northeast Ohio is a 520 yard par 5 that is all downhill from about 200 in. A creek runs to the right and along the back of the green. A railroad car is used for the bridge to cross the creek and go on to the next tee.

Well, in the mid 90's , I was playing this hole with Steve and Kermit. My drive was bad, forcing me to layup - I think I had about 150 in for the third. I pushed it right - onto the car path, where it bounced....and bounced........into.........the railroad car.

Now what? This being March, there were no hhazard lines anywhere. But - as fate would have it, my ball, he open door, and the flagstick were all in line. Yes! We will play from the railroad car! The horizontal beams laying in front of the door were a challenge, but I successfully pitched out of the car from the asphault to about 10 feet - where I made par.

This is a true story, with witnesses....I think. I think I have all the details right. Maybe I got there in 2 and pitched out from the car but did not get up and down......anyway, I made a par from the railroad car bridge somehow.

Back to the games......

NO 30, Atl 20. Are the Saints slowly spiraling downhill...and headed for a first round playoff exit?

Chi 24, GB 17. The Bears can't continue to play this bad, can they? And I truly believe in the Monday Night hangover for the Packers.

Ind 31, Den 17. You figure the Broncos out. I can't.

Buf 20, KC 17. How do you market the Chiefs right now! "Come and see the Bills this Sunday! And if you can't make it , come next week when the Browns are in town!"

Min 27, Cin 24. I think the Bengals will raise their game as the competition gets better.

NE 27, Car 16. Another team I can't get a handle on - the Pats. You'd thinnk they are 9-3, but they are 7-5 and in real danger.

TB 23, NYJ 20, OT. Yes, I'm biased. So what - when we are 2-11, you look to root against other teams as well.

By the way - did anyone see this from last Thursday's Jets-Bills game? I could watch this 100 times in a row...and it still wouldn't get old....

Mia 23, Jax 21. I think the Dolphins are playing inspired football, trying to do anything they can to win.

Bal 20, Det 10. The big question is....are we sure the Ravens are much better than the Steelers? Are we really sure about that?

Hou 30, Sea 13. It's rollercoaster time! Time to get back on the Texans' bandwagon!

Ten 24, StL 14. I'll be shocked if the Rams score more than 2 touchdowns.

Was 17, Oak 13. The Raiders, I believe, are overrated.

Dal 27, SD 23. It would be too easy to take the Chargers and believe in the Cowboys' December swoon.

Phi 27, NYG 20. How many weeks in a row am I taking the Eagles? I swear, I'm not a fan - I truly am neutral here - but the matchup is good!

SF 23, Arz 17. The last stand for the 9ers and a letdown game for the Cards.

Best bets: 14 of them. 6-10 last week; overall: 80-90-2.

Chi +4

Ind -7

Cin +6.5

Cin/Min over 43

TB +4

NYJ/TB over 36.5

Mia +3

Det +14

Det/Bal under 39.5

Hou -7

Was -1

Was/Oak under 37.5

Phi -1

SF +3.5

New reader coming soon!

Update from California: Layup and Carol are in the hospital, and right now they are on hour number 9 of labor. This may be the lucky day!

Suck it

I know we are (now) 2-11.So what.
We beat the freaking Steelers tonight.

My middle son, Warren, was 6 weeks old when we last beat the Steelers.

He is in 1st grade now.

It's great to see Tomlin cry on the podium - and, more importantly, it's great to see the Steelers all but knocked out of the playoffs.

2nd year in a row that we beat the defending Super Bowl champs in a prime-time game. We have New Orleans on the schedule next year! And New England!

Make fun of me crowing about a 2-11 team all you want. I don't care. We beat those fucking inbreds.

Loose ends

Some topics I wanted to post last week but never got around to:

1. Just saw this in the Washington Post - about 60 million Americans are "unbanked" - no checking or savings account - or "underbanked". How do they define underbanked?

The FDIC defined underbanked households as those that have a checking or savings account but use non-bank money orders, check-cashing services, payday loans, rent-to-own agreements or pawnshops at least once a year.

So - am I part of this count when I use the check-cashing service at the Peoria casino once a year? Or any of us when we use this in Vegas?

2. Talking about Vegas, how about getting together with this guy in Vegas? The Journal* has a story about a whale who lost $127 million over a year. I'd love to know what he was wagering on.

3. Changing to science, this news from the UK. When doing an experiment where you compare two groups of people, you want to find the same number of samples in each population subset and then do your measurements and/or observations.
But what happens when - to your surprise - you can't find any members of a particular group?

Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.

But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.

I wonder how much government funding they needed to come up with that finding!

4. Tiger: too much to talk about. Comments welcome.

* - see, I'm becoming better! See my use of "the Journal" in everyday vernacular?

NFL Week 13: Chinese Fir

The 14th at Augusta is sort of a breather between the excitement at the 13th and 15th - but, when you think about, the breather really only happens at the tee. Once you are in the fairway, absolute concentration is needed to make sure your approach stays on the correct level/tier of the green. The 14th green is the most severly sloped on the course - and many 3-putts (or more) are seen to knock players out.

For instance, take Freddie Couples. In probably one of the most painful moments to watch (without involving Norman), Couples was 1 down to Mickelson in the 2006 Masters. He hit is approach in to 30 or so feet - but in the wrong tier. He got to 5 feet for his par - and ran it by 4 feet. He then missed the comebacker for bogey. A 4-putt essentially handed the tournament to Mickelson.

People say it's "impossible" to 2 putt from various locations on that green - but I would like to try. In my prime (say, 2001-2005), I could 2 putt from anywhere. And I mean anywhere. Many of the readers has seen my escapes at: #8 at Champions; #17 at Hawk's Nest; #4 at Blue Ash; #9 and #15 at Walden; and (most importantly) #16 and #18 at Maketewah when my hands were shaking. The 2-putt on 16 - after topping my drive on a 370 yard hole and hitting a 7 wood in to 75 feet in the US Open Local Q - remains the best 2 putt I have ever had.

So extreme care must be taken on this hole to get out with a par. A delicate touch is needed to keep any momentum going from teh 13th and to continue the charge to the 15th.

The 14th is an overlooked hole - much like this week in the NFL, with the fantastic college games last night - but players just need 4 strong shots to continue on. Likewise, nothing spectacular is required from many teams this week - but teams like Denver, Cincinnati, Philly, Green Bay, and either the Giants or Dallas just need to play solid and advance for another week.

I think an apt comparsion to Augusta 14 is Yankee Trace 14. A very inocuous par 4- especially with the "New York" finish ahead ** - 14 at Yankee can get you in trouble. The drive is wide open, but you have to be on the corect tier on the green. I've won many holes from Don on this hole due to his 3 putting here.

(By the way - I am starting to loathe that back left position on the 14th. A lot of the putting excitement is taken away with that location.)

On to the games:

NE 26, Mia 23. Miami's last stand - but it won't be good enough agaist an angry Pats team.

NO 23, Was 13. A mandatory letdown fo the Saints?

Pit 27, Oak 10. Should be 24-3 at half, and the Steelers wil be on cruise control.

KC 24, Den 21, OT. Denver is not tough recently away from home.

Hou 27, Jax 17. Shut up, Layup. I think the Texans are ready for their last stand.

Ind 28, Ten 27. Yes, I do beleive the Titans will make a run at winning this - but will come up just short.

Cin 27, Det 10. I don't see how the Lions will score much vs. the Bengals. And the Bengals have not covered for 2 straight games - time for that trend to reverse.

Chi 26, StL 13. Just what Cutler needs - a 1-10 opponent.

Car 24, TB 20. Tampa has not given up - that's all I know about this game.

Phi 30, Atl 21. Please stop me - why do I believe in this Eagles team?

SD 23, Cle 3. I should go heavy, heavy, heavy on the under (42.5?????) - but then we will lose 40-3.

Sea 24, SF 13. Just when you think it is safe to believe in the 9ers......

NYG 24, Dal 20. Yes, my anti-Cowboy hatred is blinding me.

Az 31, Min 28. I just have a feeling, although neither team has much to play for here.

GB 27, Bal 20. Again, I remain unimpressed with the Ravens, and the Packers are playing better recently.

Best bets: 16 of them. Last week: 8-5; overall: 74-80-2.

NO/Was under 47

KC +6

Den/KC over 39

Hou -2

Ten +6.5

Ten/Ind over 46

Cin -13

Chi -9.5

Phi -5.5

Phi/Atl over 43.5

SD/Cle under 42.5

Sea +1

NYG +1.5

Az +3

Min/Az over 48.5

GB -3.5

** - if you can go even on holes 15-18, you can par anywhere. A nickname Craig, Don, Mike and I made up.

Got this from Ben this morning. San Diego PD's clip of some Border Patrol action a couple of years back. The ATV guys have night vision that makes it pretty easy to grab anyone running around on the border. The helicopter guy is pretty funny when the BP agents make an appearance. The problem remains that there are too many illegals to grab. And yes, Ben is happy to be in Buffalo and out of this crap.

Vegas Thanksgiving

Nothing says Thanksgiving more than dice, ultimate texas holdem, and a nice buffet. So Carol wanted to get out of town for Thanksgiving since our friends were gone for the weekend,we didn't really want to cook, and we couldn't fly. Below are some of the highlights and lowlights:



1. Ahhh the looks from people. Priceless. Totally worth it. The dealers were awesome about it. Actually met a couple of great people this trip. Had a great session at blackjack with another couple and an outstanding dealer.


1a. Ultimate Texas Holdem- God I love this game. Played it day and night. But man the swings are so intense. Especially since I'm supporting two people. Jay and Laura, I don't know how you guys do it.


2. Is there something during the interview to be an UTH dealer that finds out if you are capable of holding a conversation and dealing cards? I don't think they do since everytime I play it is a struggle for some of the dealers to actually deal cards. Ugh. I had a 10 minute conversation with one of the dealers about middle names for my kid. It took everything in my body not to light my cigar and put it out on her forehead.


3. Friday night it was busy and Carol and I were playing at the UTH table by Revolutions. An older man sat in seat one that had a direct view of the dancers at Revolutions. He nearly had a heart attack. He kept on looking at the girls, then looking at his cards, then looking at the girls and then looking at the dealer with a stare of "Is this real? Are there really girls dancing 20 feet away in barely nothing while I'm playing cards?"


4. Despite it being busy on Friday, on Thanksgiving morning at 8:00am I walked around the Mirage and there was a total of 5 people playing table games in the entire casino.


5. Overheard a conversation between a couple in their early 20s from the South over at the Venetian.


Girl: "Guess what I found? A row of restaurants sponsored by the Food Network."


Boy: "Is there one with that Bam guy?"


Girl: "I didn't see one."


For those of you that don't know, Emril does have a restaurant and there is no Food Network row. Just a bunch of really good restaurants. What was the first thing I thought of when I heard this? Don and what his reaction would of been to hearing this. Disgust? Laughter? A public thrashing?


6. Speaking of Emril, he took over the Palazzo's sportsbook. Made some changes, like putting a BJ, Pai Gow, and Craps table in the sportsbook, new colors, and a bunch of regular tables.


7. Emril's sportsbook now offers in game gambling. Very nice now that we don't have to travel 30 minutes outside of Vegas to try this out.


7. The Pai Gow pit is now gone at the Mirage.

8. I heart massages. Just a great break from gambling all day long.

9. Craps- Could not get hot. Wide open tables to be had and I got gun shy after my first run at an open table. Played only 3 sessions and took a beating.


10. Now onto the big story. The Mirage put in a BB King's blues bar and restaurant that replaced their old cafe. Pretty nice and lively. Carol and I ate there for dinner on Friday night to get a break from the UTH table. Food was OK. About 4 hours later my stomach started to hurt. Went to the bathroom and thought nothing of it. Carol and I stopped gambling around midnight and went up to bed. At 4:00am on Saturday morning Carol started to throw up every 15 minutes for about 2 hours. I started to get a little worried and decided to leave to get closer to home. I really didn't want to have to go to the local hospital there to get Carol treated so we left around 8 and I drove around 90-100 mph the entire way home with Carol just spewing in the passenger seat the entire way. I couldn't drive fast enough. I was guessing that if I got pulled over I had my pregnant wife with her trashbags full of vomit in the passenger seat would get me a free ride.





Got home and then Carol got worse. Ended up taking her to the hospital and a whole lot of shit happened that I won't get into, but in the end she had food poisoning and severe dehydration. After 11 hours we checked out and went home. Baby is healthy and doing just fine, but man what a scare. Not a good ending to a wonderful trip.

NFL Week 12(b): Azalea

When you see this picture, you know this is where the fun begins. The 13th. Challengers that are 4-5 back can make a big stride with an eagle. People in the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th to last grops must make birdie to stay in the hunt. he leaders have to make sure they don't trip up here.

So many good memories. Seve's apprarent locking up of the tournament in 86. The Norman/Olazabal winks in 98. Zack's excellent execution of this hole in 07. Tiger's putt into the water 2 (?) years ago. (Why isn't that shown more as a highlight??)

This is where the fun really begins. This is Augusta. The 13th.

And really, we have a good setup today - just like a Saturday or Sunday of a major. The early games involves some contenders that need to keep going and maybe get a big win - like an eagle. The Panthers. The Texans. The Dolphins. Atlanta. The 4:00 games are better, with more contenders playing. Jax-SF. Arizona-Tennessee. Chicago-Minnesota. The 2nd to last game is a good one - I don't care that Big Ben isn't playing. And then, of course, it's the Tiger-Phil matchup for the last game of the week, Patriots-Saints.

It's all fun from here for the next 3-4 weeks or so.

My personal 13th hole - a par 5 that is reachable with water in play - has to be one where I played in the 1st round of the 2001 US Amatuer Qualifier up in Cleveland. This was my first experience to the "new" golf - to the young bombers that would really change the game this decade.

The 13th hole at Hawk's Nest in Creston is a 530 yard par 5, off an elevated tee, with water down the right side and also water crossing in front of the green. I was playing very well - even through 11 in the qualifier - so I played conservatively - 3 wood, 5 iron, wedge, 2 putts, par - and off I go.

My playing partner was a 17 year old from California. He took out the driver and hit it 300, a beautiful draw that landed on the left side of the fairway. But - I thought to myself (and to Steve as well) - he's still got 220 over water - he can't possibly....

Oh yes- he pulled out a 2 iron, hit the highest 2 iron I have ever seen that fluttered down within 15 feet. He didn't make the egle, but it was a great birdie - and then I knew that golf in the 2000's would be different.

(This hole also is a favorite of Steve and I - we were playing a practice round here, and Steve was driving. I got a snack at the turn and was trying to eat my bag of Munchos that came with my sandwich, as Steve gunned it down the hill. My Munchos went flying out of the cart.

I immediately screamed, like a 7 year old boy * - "My Munchos!". They were lost forever in the creek. )

On the games:

Stl 20, Sea 17. I'm starting to like the fact that the Rams have not given up on the season or their coach yet.

Phi 27, Was 13. "Philadephia is angry, my friends....like an old man trying to return soup at a Deli".

Car 23, NYJ 20. Have to go against the Jets until they prove otherwise.

Ind 24, Hou 20. I can't pick the Colts-Texans games.

Cin 27, Cle 20. We will keep it close - certainly under the 13 point number.

Mia 24, Buf 17. Miami is ready to make their playoff push.

Atl 24, TB 20. Atlanta is severly overrated, and Tampa is "frisky". This will be close.

SF 16, Jax 13. The 49ers of 2 weeks ago return in a game that will be described as a "throwback" game.

SD 31, KC 20. I like the fact this could be a shootout.

Ten 27, Az 17. Do I thin the Titans can run the table and go 10-6? Maybe, just maybe.

Min 27, Chi 20. I just think that the Bears can hang for a while here.

Bal 23, Pit 10.No line on this game yet - so I will make the Ravens a best bet if the line is under 10.

NO 31, NE 24. I think people are overvaluing the Patroits.

Best bets: Last week: 7-5; Thanksgiving: 3-0. Overall: 69-75-2. 10 more here:

StL +4

Phi -9.5

Car +3.5

Mia -3.5

TB +12

Jax/SF under 41.5

KC/SD over 45

Ten -2

Chi +11

NO -1.5

* - Many of you must be saying to yourself: "You mean you whined like normal, like a 7 year old boy". Yes, that is correct.

NFL Week 12(a): Golden Bell

Going to squeeze in two holes at Augusta this week so that the math evens out and we end on the 18th hole for Week 17.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! And Thanksgiving means - NFL Football! Everyone makes a big deal about NFL Football on Thanksgiving, but usually that means the Lions lose early and the Cowboys win late. When is the last time we had some good, suspenseful Thanksgiving day games? The only one that comes to mind is the Leon Lett game - Dallas Miami, back in 1993. NFL Thanksgiving day games are tradition - but it's not like there are any recent memories from the games itself.

Well, I'll say it. Thanksgiving day NFL football is like the 12th hole at Augusta. It's a great hole - don't get me wrong - but it's resting on its reputation and we revere it because of "tradition". What tournament memories do we have from that hole? We have Couples' miraculous escape in 92. That's about it.

"Oh, but people hit it in the water and lose!!!" That's BS. Phil was not going to win the Masters last year. He's Phil. He's done. Rocco wasn't going to win in 3-4 years ago when he made a 10. And Norman, in 96, was 2 down when he dunked it in the water agaisnt Faldo.

There are no charges that start on the 12th. It's not really a birdie hole. It's a formal tradition - you aim for the fat part of the green, make par or bogey, and move on. If you are dumb enough to go for the flag, you are dumb and don't deserve to win.

Would I like to play it? Hell yes. But you never - never - see any highlights for the 12th hole on any CBS promos for the Masters (save for Couples' miracle). One highlight in 20-30 years.

(The 12th at Elks Run is the closest hole to Augusta - it's a 150 yard par 3, downhill, with water short and to the right. The green is large, however - and par is a good score. I hit my 8-9 iron, take 2 putts and leave, knowing that the meat of the course is ahead. Very much like Augusta).

The games tomorrow:

GB 27, Det 13. I'm not sure how Detroit will score with Culpepper.

Dal 31, Oak 10. God, the Raiders are bad. The Benglas gave them the game last week - and I was dancing for joy just watching that.

Den 24, NYG 23. I'm surprised at how consistently bad the Giants' D has been this year. This is a perfect time for the Broncos to snap out of their funk.

Best bets: (3 tomorrow: Last week: 7-5. Overall: 66-75-2).

GB/Det under 47

Dal -13.5

Den +6

What's the obsession?

Quick question:

Why does everyone highlight that their food has "applewood smoked" bacon? What is so special about Applewood bacon? Can't I just have regualr bacon? Who was part of this focus group? Should I make up a name....like "Peargrass Bacon" and sell it to Burger King for marketing purposes?

iOdds

Those with an iPhone have to download the iOdds application. It is a free app that shows current the spreads on all sports. It also shows halftime lines, moneyline odds and gives you in game scoring as well. But perhaps the best part of the app, is it shows the team "rotation #" which is the number you need to tell the book when wagering. Since this is the same at each casino, you can have your betting sheets all generated before you actually go to the window. This will be handy come march.

Open up App Store -> Search for "iOdds" -> install -> awesomeness ensues.

NFL Week 11: White Dogwood

The 11th hole. This is where Augusta starts to turn and be a little nasty. A stern test awaits here on this hole - now a monstrous 505 yard par 4.

Has anyone ever seen the tee box? I think the closest the gallery can get to the 11th tee is now 100 yards away - at least. The tee shot is a blind, narrow one - and a wayward drive has sanred many a recent contender. Remember Phil's foray into the woods a few years ago? The one where he tried to claim that some dumnped grass clippings in teh woods was ground under repair? He was so deep in the woods that he was an extra in a Blair Witch sequel! (bah da bum).

The approach, however, is disappointing. This view is about what you see. Most players (except if your name is K.J. Choi) have no choice but to bail right - and from there it's a 50/50 shot at a par.

This is a tough hole - where par is a great score and most golfers are looking to survive. Like teams this week - looking to somehow surivie a tough game. Teams like Atlanta, SF, Chi and Philly, Houston, the Jets, and Baltimore - all can't afford a Phil-like drive and drop a shot here. This Sunday night game will be fascinating - as it is an effective elimination game for two disappointing teams.

I had a hard time coming up with an 11th hole from my golfing history - I have most of the back nine set so far - but the best I could do is the 11th at Walden Ponds. A par 4 of 400 yards, I somehow always have trouble on the drive. The drive does not set up well for me at all. The apporach is very similar to Augusta, with a lake of the right instead of the left. All of us usually bail left. The one saving grace for me is that for some unknown reason, I always make putts on this hole. I have made countless par puttts of 12 feet on this green. I don't know what it is.

Here we go, starting with the game of the week:

Det 20, Cle 10. Yes - you guessed it! Don Criqui is confirmed to be the announcer this week for this game! This means he has done the Browns/Bills classic 5 weeks ago, this game - and I will wager that he wil lbe on duty to do the Browns/Raiders game on Dec 27.

Dal 31, Was 13. I've gone back and forth on this one. I think good Dallas will prevail here.

GB 23, SF 20, OT. The inconsistent Packers come out again.

Pit 29, KC 17. The Steelers will get a big win here.

Min 24, Sea 13. Not much to say here - an easy win for the Vikes.

NYG 27, Atl 17. A must win for the Giants, and I will go with the desperate team. I think the Falcons' season is over.

NO 30, TB 20. I refuse to pick any more Bucs' games.

Jax 20, Buf 19. No reason - new coach in Buffalo, plus a letdown of sorts for the Jags.

Ind 27, Bal 20. I still don't believe the Ravens are that good. Hwoever, I'm scared of a letdown from the Colts.

Az 31, StL 17. How many weeks in a row now are the Rams a home underdog?

SD 23, Den 13. No word yet on who the Denver QB will be.

Cin 20, Oak 14. Here's the letdown of the week. Cincy will score a late touchdown to win.

NE 30, NYJ 13. The Pats have to fired up for this one, right?

Chi 23, Phi 17. The Eagles have no running game - and a good defense wil be abale to cpaitalize on that.

Hou 30, Ten 24, OT. A barn burner on Monday night- to make up for last week's debacle. Sorry about that, folks!

Best bets: Do I have to? 12 this week. Last week: 4-9; overall: 59-70-2.

Dal -11

SF +6.5

Pit/KC over 40

Sea/Min under 46.5

NYG -7

Buf +8.5

Ind -1.5

Az -9

Oak +9.5

NE -10.5

Chi +3

Ten/Hou over 48

Vegas Caddies

I'd like to see Eric putt in Vegas with one of these caddies:

ParMates

And yes, that's Royal Links in the background.

Quick note

As we prepare to shock the world tonight*, I musy say publicly that I applaud Belichick and feel he made a good decision.

For thsoe in stats:

P (converting on a 4th and 2) > 0.5 > P(stopping Manning on an 80 yard drive with 2:00 left)

In other words:
- it's better than 50/50 that if you punt, you lose
- You have a better chance to make the 4th and 2 than you do to stop the Colts

So -why not play the statistics and go for it? It's a smart move. It didn't work out.

* - by "shock the world", I mean either:
a. having a coach fired during the 3rd quarter of the game
b. Using 4 quarterbacks in a half
c. By having less than 5 turnovers

Vegas Countdown

Roughly 8 pay periods left until Vegas!

Layup and I were discussing craps strategy and I am hoping to get in one last practice run prior to Vegas. I feel like I need a little more time at the range before we tee off for real, but I'm not sure that I'm going to get up to Foxwoods prior to the trip. If I can't get out prior to the trip, I might sneak away on Wednesday night for a quick $5 craps session at the Monte if anyone's interested.

Why the Monte? Well, besides being able to work on my tan while indoors, I'll get the MGM Mirage comp points and I'm hoping that the Monte will have $5 tables on Wednesday night.

Are you a nerd?

So Layup texted me on Monday. His text was:

"TASC made the front page of the journal".

(TASC was the first company I worked for, and it has been bought out twice. )

Now, if your first thought after reading that text is:

"Hmmm...I wonder what scientific journal Layup is reading? "

then you are a nerd. I would wager that Laura and probably Kermit had the same thought as I.

The rest of you obviously saw "journal" and associated it with the Wall Street Journal. You are normal, well-adjusted business people. Not I.

NFL Week 10: Camelia

Well, this picture just warms the heart, doesn't it? This is where the course becomes familiar to many of us. From here on out, we know the holes, the history, the tradition behind the back 9 of the Masters.

At this point, the field of golfers where the winner will come from starts to get winnowed down. I still don't believe that "the tournament begins" here, but it does start to get defined.

No one remembers shots in the final round of the Masters from the front 9 - but the shots on the back 9 will live in infamy. There are plenty of good and bad memories of this hole:

- Crenshaw's putt in 1984
- Nicklaus's birdie to keep it going in 86

- Plenty of errant shots to the left - Norman always seems to spring to mind - that results in a bogey, at best

(and - by the way - Masters playoffs should always start on 10. None of this "go back to 18" crap. When you think playoff at Augusta, you always think #10. I wish they would go back to this....)

Likewise, the NFL season start to define itself and winnow down its opponents at this time. We've already found out that the Bears are not going to represent the NFC. The loser of the Jets/Jags game is probably out of the playoffs. Another Atlanta loss cripples their hopes. The loser of the Eagles/chargers game is in real trouble. Green Bay needs win, or else. So does Seattle. And - if the Bengals win this week, it's a franchise defining moment - like Crenshaw's putt in 84.

In many ways, the 10th hole defines the round for any golfer. I remember the 1986 State Qualifier, played at Rocky Point. Back then, I hit a 210 yards banana slice off the tee. I somehow birdied 6 and 7 to get to 2 under - 2 under!!!!! - in the state qualifier. A routine bogey on 8 and a par on 9 sent me to the 10th hole at 1 under.

My only thought on the entie walk from the 9th green to the 10th tee was: "Don't hit it in the bay. Don't hit it in the bay". The 10th hole was a longish par 4 that hugged the Chesapeake Bay, with the Bay all down the right side.

With my pulse racing, I teed off --- the ball started down the right hand side of the fairway....and kept going right. I think I made 7.

(However, I did eventually qualify for the State with a smooth 89.......which then led me to be escorted to the State Championship in a police car with 5 Dulaney assholes. But that's another story for another time.)

On to the picks:

Den 23, Was 16. I think the Skins are a cure for what ails any team in the NFC (The Browns are the elixir for AFC teams).

Ten 27, Buf 20. I think this will be a surprisingly entertaining game.

NO 34, StL 16. The Saints will want to have an easy game for once - get on top and stay ahead for a while. None of this comeback stuff this week.

Pit 27, Cin 17. I am already hearing Steelers' fans excuses for this game. "It's not fair we have to play them on a short week! Boo hoo!"

NYJ 24, Jax 13. I refuse to believe that the Jaguars are good enough to win this game.

Min 30, Det 17. The late pick-6 against Detroit killed me last week. This is the classic back door cover - Minnesota will be up 23-0 at half; Tavaris Jackson will come in, and the Lions will score lots of garbage points.

Mia 27, TB 13. Do you realize how many points the Packers GAVE the Bucs last week? The Bucs are no good. No good at all.

Car 27, Atl 20. I think the real 2009 Falcons have shown themselves over the last 2 games.

KC 20, Oak 17. May rival the Browns-Bills classic as "worst game of the year". However, we still have Browns-Raiders week 16 and Browns-Chiefs Week 15, so stay tuned! This award is not over yet!

Phi 24, SD 23. I give up on both these teams.

Dal 29, GB 17. The Packers are overrated.

Az 24, Sea 20. There's some desperation here for the Seahawks.

Ind 31, NE 24. Something just isn't right for the Patrioits this year. They are good, but not dominant. I think the Colts win by 7.

Bal 27, Cle 13. The nation will be subjected to wathcing the dreck I have to watch every week. I predict record high ratings for Leno on Modnay night.

Best bets: 13 of them. Last week: 4-12 (ugh). Overall: 55-61-2.

Den -3.5

Buf/Ten over 41

NO -13.5

Pit -7

NYJ -6.5

Det +16.5

Mia -10

Car +1.5

KC +2

Dal -3

Sea +8.5

Ind -2.5

NE/Ind over 48.5

7 favorites and only 4 dogs. I don't like that.

College Basketball Picks....

....to make fun of!

I will try to follow the Ohio Valley conference all year. We'll see how long this lasts.

Picks for 11/13 - and feel free to make fun of them:

Morehead +26 vs Kentucky
Austin Peay +23 vs Tennessee
Minnesota -19 vs Tenn Tech
Siena -10.5 at Tenn St

Bonus:
Youngstown St +20 vs Xavier