I'm going crazy thinking about Vegas

So I was watching Friday Night Lights, the movie not the series, this afternoon and I thought how cool would it be to have someone give us pre-gambling speeches during our trip. We are going to need it as we have a full day of gambling on Thursday. This full day with no interuptions could be a blessing or a nightmare. Below outlines the first two days with some nice little sports clips to use as analogies. OK, I have officially lost it. Carol is just starring at me now as I giggle as I relate these clips to our Vegas trip.

I greet the gang at the airport with this little pick me up.


We are all gambling on Wednesday night and things are going great. We are all winning at a variety of games. We need Wiz and Lee to wrap up the evening in our room before going to bed.


So we wake up the next morning a little groggy and not too excited. We have a full day of gambling ahead of us. We need to get pumped up. We need something to jump-start the day. So Jay is there in the elevator to give us this speech.

And we are off. Ready to go. We all go to the craps table and immediately get crushed. Since we all turned the table cold, a couple of guys at the other end of the table start betting the don't pass. Don takes the lead and gives us this speech to rally the troops against the assholes at the other end of the table. We continue to loss and some of us are close to running out of money. We need more Jay to keep us all at the table.

Mid-Day and we break to lick our wounds from the craps run. We are a little shell shocked. Some of us want to take a walk on the strip, while others jut want to watch some games in the room. Laura breaks out this speech to get us all back down at the tables.

Well we get killed again at the BJ tables. I have to start to yell this to as Lee stays on a 16 against a dealer 10. Wiz pulls Kermit and Amanda aside as tells them this when the shoe turns south. Things are going way south. We are not focused. We are starting to complain and bitch about everything. Now its 7:30pm and Eric demands a meeting in his room and delivers this speech, not to get us motivated, but to humiliate us.

So we trek over to the Mirage to try and make a midnight comeback at Pai Gow. Lucky us, John the dealer is there to give us this gem. Mike wins a $1000 Pai Gow hand and jumps up from his chair and does this at the entrance of Revolutions.

So we are all up and are about to call it an evening and we head back to the Palazzo and right before we head up to the room, Wiz and I see that the there have been 10 straight reds at the roulette table. So we go over and place a wager on black. After another 10 straight reds, I lose it.

I will continue this for Friday-Sunday at a later date.

The Horrors of Office Life

On Friday, I was booked all morning with meetings, especially with the first meeting being a meeting that I am leading with directors. So my mind was pretty preoccupied yesterday morning.

I dropped off Warren at Day Care - and boy, did his breath stink. I reprimanded him for not brushing his teeth, but he insisted he did. Whatever.

I'm driving into work when I realize - crap! that was my breath! I didn't brush my teeth...and now I have a morning full of meetings where I can share my halitosis.....that's a nice thought to have in your brain all morning long.....

The pitfalls of 21st century cubicle life. Our ancestors never had to deal with theese workplace hardships.....

Good Day

Happy V Day to all the ladies in the house. Carol and I are not big fans of this holiday so we will celebrate it by eating chocolate cupcakes in bed, followed by watching the Pebble Beach Pro Am, then straight to the local wing place for a late lunch, and end with a movie.

Palladia: Just discovered this TV station. Love it. Great background station to have on when doing some work or making cupcakes.

Carrie Underwood: Hmmm.. Interesting little women. Love her "Last Name" song for some reason. I'll admit that I downloaded that song so Wiz and Lee, be prepared to listen to it in Vegas. Saw her perform at the Grammys and while being attractive so is very awkward. She can't dance to save her life.

Malaysian Open: Usually I love watching the European Tour in the mornings during the weekend, but this golf is terrible. I can't even watch it. And the big star at the tourney, Anthony Kim, is hacking it up and is currently in 48th place. I guess this is their Viking Classic so I will cut them a break.

Terps Basketball: Thanks SkeetSkeet for telling me about these articles. This is the first of three articles about Gary Williams and the recruiting struggles of the Terps. I'll let SkeetSkeet post his thoughts about the article later.

Michael Lewis: Good article about Shane Battier.

Some interesting events going on during our Vegas trip that falls outside of the normal womens and mens college basketball. Time to start thinking.
1. Nascar- The Food City 500 in Bristol. With Laura out in Vegas with us we should have someone good to wager on.
2. European Tour- Madeira Islands Open: They are playing somewhere in Portugal. Past winners are Jean Van De Valde, Daniel Vancsik, and Alastair Forsyth. Wow some big names. I have a feeling that Matthew Kaymar will breakout and win this one.
3. PGA Tour- Transitions Championship (formerly the PODS Championship): Solid field in my eyes, but its amazing to hear what the casual fans say when Tiger isn't in the field. Down in SD last night and I asked the guys I was out with if they ever been to the Buick Open. They all said yes, but the field sucks this year so they didn't go. Sucks? Yes I know that Tiger, Kim, and VJ aren't playing but you still have Phil, Paddie, and company playing. Interesting.
4. NBA- Early look shows that Memphis is a good bet against Boston as the Celtics will be playing 4 times in 5 nights. Also, Golden St. vs the Lakers usually hits the over. Other than that, nothing else looks appealing.
5. NHL: Well the Blue Jackets play twice while we are out there. Hmmm...
6. English Premier League- Big game on Sunday with Aston Villa vs. Liverpool.
7. LPGA- Mastercard Classic- Wiz, who do we got?
8. Tennis: BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, CA. I love Pat Cash in this one.
9. Boxing: Klitsichko is fighting some stiff. I have no clue.

54

That is the magic number that I came up with using Lee's magical spreadsheet. What does this represent? The number of hours I will be gambling come March. And I thought I didn't have enough gambling time.

So with my reduced budget, I need to find more downtime.

I can work out, but since I love to gamble and drink in the morning, that might not work.

I may play two rounds of golf. Eh....not a big fan of that.

I might go to Prize is Right. Yes, but it won't be that fun alone.

I might drink alone in the room. Ah, Billy Nogle style. Maybe.

I might go back to playing poker. There we go. That's what I got to do. That's the plan.

Here we go again - less than 5 weeks!

It's time for the annual Bracketology posts - where we take the latest ESPN Bracket projection and pick games to fit in these pre-determined categories. Send ideas on for new cateogries - or requests to stops these insane posts - along.

The Don H / Mike D game
(5) Purdue v (12) Siena

Layup's 5-12 Upset
(5) Washington v (12) Kansas St

The Eric Ohio Underdog Game
(7) Syracuse v (10) Dayton

The Wiz Heart Attack Game
(3) Clemson v (14) E Tenn St

Layup's $1000 on the Money Line Game
(4) UCLA v (13) Buffalo

The 7-10 game no one cares about
(7) Minnesota v (10) South Carolina

The Thursday 9:00 am First Upset of the Tournament
(5) Missouri v (12) BYU

The Wiz ACC Lock
(7) Texas vs (10) Miami-FL

RRD's Virginia Lock
(2) Wake Forest v (15) VMI
(I can't really put Va Tech here, can I?)

The game that only Eric cares about
(4) Xavier v (13) Northeastern

The Leland/John the Pai Gow dealer game that will be endlessly analyzed
(6) Florida v (11) UNLV

The Kermit "If Eric and Leland are going 1 way, I know which way I'm going" game
(8) Davidson v (9) Utah

The Laura Random over/under wager, just to have some action game:
(2) Louisville v (15) Sam Houston St

The Mike Dietrich Philly Cheesesteak Game
(4) Villanova v (13) Northern Iowa

The Micah Broken Bone Memorial Game
(6) Gonzaga v (11) Utah St

The Game Most Looked Forward to be watched in the Cabana game
(4) Villanova v (5) Purdue

and, by popular demand, Women's Bracketology:

The Allison Lacey Memorial Game
(5) Iowa St v (12) Virginia Commonwealth

The Saturday 9:00 Cabana/Gambling Degenerate Game
(4) Florida St vs (13) SMU

Quick question

A-Rod apologized today. So, are we over it and is he accepted in baseball again?



Of course not. There's going to be hatred for him for a long, long time. And, I think, rightfully so.



What's my point? It's to disprove once and for all the ludicrous argument that all will be well with Pete Rose if he only admitted gambling and apoogized. BS. If he admitted now, he wouldn't be greeted with open arms and sympathy (and the HoF) - but with disdain and even more scorn.



Remember that next time you hear the subject of Pete Rose discussed. His case and A-Rod's case are very similar.

Last night

Over the past several months, Carol and I have been involved in a casual poker game with a couple of friends. About 8 of us get together and play Texas Hold em and other games. I've been teaching them all the classics like Follow the Bitch, Baseball, Guts, and Omaha. Its actually been a lot of fun.

But since its so casual and its with new friends, I tend to take such a relax playing style with everyone. This results in me losing my $10 buy in by the end of the night. So Carol gets an email from one of the girls setting up the next poker night. In the email the girl ends up talking shit to Carol and I about us losing all the time. Hmmmm.

So when I got there last night, no more mister nice guy. If you are going to talk shit then that's it. Check raises, aggressive betting up front, and playing no hands other than the ones I really should. Well, it resulted in me cleaning up. Carol and I walked away with everything except for $7.50 at the table. So the guys were asking "We were wondering if you were just taking it easy or if you really sucked." Yeah, OK.

Why prop bets are so fun!

There was a prop bet for the Super Bowl:

# of total kickoffs in the game: over/under 9 1/2.

You have the over.

Do you win?

Let's recap:

3 touchdowns by Az, plus the opening kickoff: 4 kickoffs.
3 touchdowns by Pit - but one was at the end of the half, so no kickoff - and 2 fieldgoals, and the 2nd half kickoff - that's 5 kickoffs. A total of 9 so far.

What about the "kick" after the Arizona safety? Does that count?

The answer: it depends on the day, since the books - and the NFL - are changing their answers.

More here: http://wizardofodds.com/sports/kickoffs.html

Historical Revision-ism

Now that George W Bush has left office, many people regard him as one of the worst presidents in modern history - a truth held in many circles is that W is the worst president since Nixon. The evidence for this statement is his abysmally-low approval rating when he left office and the country's shape in January, 2009.

However, history has a way of changing the views on Presidents. Many people think that our opinion of W will become favorable over the next 10-20 years, given the results of Iraq/Afghanistan and the Middle East, and the state of our education system. There is a role model for this "historical revisionism" of our modern presidents; Harry Truman left office in 1952 with approval rating at or lower than Bush's - and he is now credited for making the tough decisions for WW II and the post-war world. The nation's view of Truman has changed over the past 30-50 years.

Will the same happen to George W Bush? Only time will tell. That's not the point of this post.

The point of this post is - can we, as sports fans, finally admit to ourselves that Jose Canseco was right? Should we re-read his books with the understanding that almost 100% of the material in there was actually, you know......true? The latest A-Rod allegations that came out only further cement Jose's credibility.

Canseco has consistently been the canary in the mine for years - and people continually ignore, ridicule, and slime him. It's finally time to turn the page and admit he was right. And let him speak his mind freely again. It's time to finally re-evaluate Canseco and admire him for having the balls to speak out at a time wheneveryone urged him to shut the hell up.

(Relating Harry Truman to Jose Canseco? Posts like that can only be found here at F&J!)

The biggest question over the next 6 weeks

So I need something to cheer me up. The barrage of bad news over the past couple of weeks has me in a terrible mood:

1. I have a huge scandal in my new offices that I'm having to clean house and start all over with new management.


2. Was depending on my tax return to fund some of my budget, but the state of California announced that they will be sending out IOUs instead of checks for the time being.


3. I accidentally hit 50% instead of 5% for my contribution out of each paycheck to my 401K. So one of my paychecks basically paid for one meal at McDonalds instead of stockpiling the cash for vegas.


4. The non review of the last play in the Superbowl cost me money since I took yes in the "Would the last play of the game be something other than a QB kneel." Terrible officiating in that game by the way. Ugh.


5. Was just informed that I will have to be out in Vegas about once a week, starting in mid Feb for business. This will definitely end in one of two things...bankruptcy or a divorce.

So to cheer me up, I've been thinking about where are we going to stay for our Vegas trip. Its down to two place, the Mirage or the Palazzo. There are no losers since both places are solid and will provide the setting for a great trip, but the indecision is killing me. So below outlines the positives and the negatives of each hotel.

Rooms (Advantage Palazzo): Might as well start off with the easiest one. Palazzo's rooms are very close to the nicest ones I've ever stayed in. The Four Season's in AZ is close, but its just so nice and the flat screen in the bathroom sends it over the top for me.

Price (Advantage Mirage): $285 for 5 nights can't be beat. And this allows two to a room that might work. This will make for interesting dinner conversation with the Zahn brothers rooming together again after a ten year hiatus. Eric, start learning how to sleep with the TV on now so you are prepared.

Craps Tables (Advantage Palazzo): Palazzo has great dealers, new tables, and great location to check out the entire casino floor. The Mirage has gremlins and trolls as their dealers and that funky blue felt.

Pai Gow (Push): John is at the Mirage and it has a good location to people watch. But the Palazzo has access to the high rollers bathrooms and a TV near by to watch the games.

BJ (Push): Both very strong with the Palazzo having more options of non shuffle machine tables, but the Mirage having lower limits. Both have great dealers and pit bosses.

Roulette (Advantage Mirage): I have yet to have a winning session at the Palazzo. The felt is tan and dirty for some reason and their dealers are terrible. At the Mirage, the only downside is that the tables are always packed. But if you and get in early, its a solid setting.

Ultimate TX Holdem (Advantage Mirage): I'm sure that this will be the focus of so many post trip blog posts. Excellent game, excellent dealers, and generally great people playing the game. Mirage gets the points here because the Palazzo offers a different version that is not fun.

Sportsbook (Advantage Mirage): Longer hours, easily accessible, and more gambling options. I hate going to the subway station (Palazzo's SB) to place my bet. Terrible oversight by the casino.

Poker (Push): Hate the Mirage poker room since their chairs are too tight and the players are assholes. Palazzo doesn't even have a room so I guess its a push.

Floor setup (Advantage Palazzo): While the Mirage is not bad, the Palazzo has an ideal setup. You can see almost the entire casino from any seat and you can easily jump from table to table if needed. If you are playing Pai Gow and you hear the craps tables heat up, then you can quickly jump over there. If you are deciding to leave craps, but wonder if there are any open tables for BJ, you can easily see that as well. The crap tables are the center and makes for an easy gathering place and an even easier place to get side tracked. The elevators, bathrooms, garage, and the cage are all a quick walk from anywhere in the casino. There are ample TVs throughout the floor that allows you to play and watch the games.

Atmosphere (Advantage Palazzo): As I told the group, my stay at the Belagio was very telling. The Palazzo has this great calming effect on you. Its not dead, just calming. You won't realize this unless you go to the Bellagio or some other loud casino first. With its wide walkways and high ceilings, you never feel crowded or stuffy. It plays OK music and is lit well, but not too much. And the people there are great. The dealers in general are very nice. The pit bosses are very talkative. The gamblers are also at a higher level. I don't think I had any issues at the BJ tables with idiots. I can't say the same thing at the Mirage.

Eye Candy (Advantage Mirage): Big difference in people watching at the two casinos. And the influx of foot traffic that Revolutions and the Beatles show gets makes for great entertainment while playing Pai Gow or Texas Holdem.

Food options (Advantage Palazzo): Its the big CPK vs Grand Lux Cafe battle. I'm a huge fan of the Grand Lux with their great breakfast and excellent twice baked potato egg rolls. You also have that kick ass Mexican place and a solid noodle house. And they have an ice cream stand outside in the mall area.

Pool (Advantage Palazzo): The cabana alone almost makes the Palazzo an easy choice. So much fun out there. What a relaxing time while watching the games. I have zero exposure to the Mirage's cabana.

So that puts us at a score of 6-5 in favor of the Palazzo. Now the question rests, how much does that one score difference equate to how much more are we willing to pay?

The gooch is alive and well!

You thought "the gooch" was only something that applied to sports??? Guess again!

Nice job, Vanity Fair....taking this picture and titling it "The Cabinet" before the confirmation hearings actually take place. I think Tom Daschle may be a little pissed at the magazine for this picture, now that he won't be joining the Cabinet anytime soon......

Doctor, give me the news.....

OK, I need help from all you PC experts out there.

I'm having trouble with my 2006 Dell Laptop - with Windows XP. It can't boot up. The message I get:

"Windows could not start because the following file is missing or corrupt:
\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\CONFIG\SYSTEM"

It says I can attempt to repair this file by starting Windows Setup using the original Setup CD ROM....


....but I can't find it.

Question: how screwed am I? Can I get this Setup CD Rom at Best Buy?

You know you work for a software company when...

you produce things like this at work. Click this you must....

I expect this phone call in April...

*phone rings*

"Hello, this is Lakota Schools. This is Tuesday, April 22.

Our crews have been out and we found a pothole on Cincinnati-Dayton Road, 1 mile from one o four elementary schools. Therefore, out of caution, we will be closing schools today.

Thank you for your understanding! "


The boys are now out of school for the 4th straight day due to the snow/ice strom we had Monday night into Wednesday. It's a bit ridiculous they can't go to school today.

Vegas: Historical Recap #2

Now we get into trips 6-10, trips that have been talked about and summarized on the blog before. Quick highlights from each of those trips:

Trip 6: Mar 2006, Monte Carlo, NCAA Weekend: Credit Card Roulette....Card Sharks at the MGM!.....Golfing in two groups, with Layup/Leland/Wiz betting on Don/Kermit/me.......What do you do if you have a 16 vs a 10 showing? ......Black Friday (5-14 in Basketball).......predicting Women's lines at dinner at the Mirage....... a puzzling decision to play $5 craps at the Aladdin........"What, exactly, do you see in Layup?".....witnessing firsthand the lethal Layup/Wiz/Alcohol trifecta at the roulette table

Trip 7: Nov 2006, Mandalay Bay, Layup's Bachelor party: Dumbest move ever, sitting down at the restaurant upon arrival as Layup and the group are finishing up; I order a $7 Vodka tonic.....the Columbus Blue Jackets, the official NHL team of the Bachelor party.......12 hours at the sportsbook at one table.........Rutgers!........The Mensa card.......The Excalibur run (I still need a shower).....winning $500 in BJ at the Luxor and a $500 slot jackpot at McCarran

Trip 8: Mar 2007, Hooters, Conf Champ weekend: Another one of Steve's hockey trips, this time at the lovely Hooters. This trip was a complete, alcohol-induced blur. Friday: golf with Kermit, with vodka tonics on the 1st fairway. I was completely wasted at the end - and, of course, I 3 putted 17 and 18 to lose, 1 up.....then we stopped at the podunk casino (I wish I could remember the name) to gamble at a $2 craps tub - they had to open it up for us - and we started winning. I won $150, Kermit won about $600 or so.....Mer was the least drunk of us, so he drove back (I was texting his stripper girlfriend) and then we had the famous Smith & Wollensky's dinner. We won't link to the picture again. The next day, after sleeping on the floor of the hotel room (ugh), Steve and I played BJ at the Monte; the table was cold and I left after 2 shoes. That's when I learned that Steve and I have a different philosophy about gambling. He's in for the long haul; if it's cold, I get up and leave. Kermit hits another jackpot (royal flush) for $1500 and, I believe, loses it all back before Steve and I can get to him. And - I forgot - he missed the flight going home Sunday night.

Trip 9: Mar 2007, Mirage, NCAA Weekend: For those of you counting, that's 4 Vegas trips in 53 weeks. How did I manage that? The quick highlights: Watching the Maryland game at Caesar's while pounding my shoe on the bar.....Royal Links and the beginning of the Breakfast burrito tradition....the Red Rock casino run......Wiz talking me into a $100 Pai Gow bet (my hand, of course, was Q-10-9-7-5-3-2)......."Hello, Bee" is born........The unforgettable Golden Nugget Pai Gow run....."How much trouble can you get into at a $5 craps table??".........Gus Johnson's Ohio St/Xavier call............The Lady Boilers are a lock!......Micah's broken foot

Trip 10: Mar 2008, Palazzo, NCAA Weekend: Who can forget last year? Once again, I stand up from a table when things aren't going so well - and that decision costs Kermit $600......"Maybe.....YES SIR!".....Civil war breaks out among the group: what do you do with a 4-2 vs a dealer 6? ......."Occupied!"............Wiz betting the don't pass because he is a crappy roller, then ending up hitting nothing but numbers.....Dice in my coffee.......The Cabana.....Allison Lacey is our hero.......The meal at the MGM..........How the f do you lose a ring at the Pai Gow table??......first foray into $25 craps......Cliff Clavin and "The Whale" at the Mirage

By the way, when doing my research for this posts, I think the phrase "don't ever leave Wiz and Layup alone unsupervised in a casino" at least 9 different times over the years. Good to see that things never change.

Vegas: Historical Recap

Well, spurned on by Layup's post and my first transaction to get cash on hand for Vegas, I thought I'd look back on my history in Vegas.

2009 is the 15th anniversary of my first trip to Vegas, and this will be my 11th trip overall. Here is a quick recap of the other 10 trips, which I hope will spur discussions, defenses and (of course) corrections of my fading memories:

Trip 1: Aug 1994 (Palace Station). A grad school friend of mine went with me. I went during the baseball strike, so the only real sports I could gamble on was Preseason NFL and regular season CFL. I planned to play only blackjack until my friend introduced me to craps. First session: layout $30, lost it in 5 minutes. Put out another $30, and won $120. This is easy!
He went to play 7-card stud, and I went to the strip to play - and conquer - craps. Uh, not so fast, my friend. Had losing sessions at the Frontier and (ugh) Circus Circus.
Walked the strip, from the north end all the way down to MGM. God, nothing was down there!
Lost all of my bankroll on that time - my last hour was spent playing the nickel slots. However, I was comped at the Frontier for my 3-4 sessions there, which set me up for....

Trip 2: Dec 1999 (Frontier) . Layup went with me on a weekend trip on my way to Phoenix. This trip started it all in creating the unforgettable Zahn brothers' gambling memories: the ill-fated BJ trip to the Desert Inn; the 4:30 am "wake-up" calls to run downstairs to play craps; creepy gambling sessions at the Stardust. I remember placing sports bets at the Imperial Palace in a back room somewhere. I lost, but no more than expected; a distraught Layup, however, lost his original bankroll and more by the end of the trip.

Trip 3: Mar 2003 (Monte Carlo). My first NCAA trip with Layup and the crew. What, were there 5 of us in that room that year? I remember the Boardwalk run with Laura; winning big the first night (always a bad sign) , and my first poker session in the Monte poker room. My first winning hand was against a Gene Keady look-alike; I won, as my pair of aces with a Q kicker beat his J kicker. This was the year of the "international" incident, where I played craps betting with the dice against two middle-easterners who bet the don't pass. I got killed, but sacrificed myself as I told Layup not to play: "this doesn't concern you". In the sports book, I hugged a 6'5" Hispanic gang member during the Arizona-Gonzaga game, and yelled for Dan Rather to get off the TV as bombs started falling in Baghdad. Oh yeah, Layup said there were two other friends of his (one was Leland, and the other? some friend of Leland's who seemed like a dick) who stayed at the Mirage - we made it up there once. What assholes....what, were they too good for us? Is the Monte Carlo beneath them?

Trip 4: Mar 2004, Conf Champ weekend (Monte Carlo). This was the first of the hockey trips with Steve and Kermit, as Steve's adult hockey team had an annual spring tournament. I think Layup came on these trips in 04-05. Five to a room, with Steve's brother sleeping in a sleeping bag on the bed; Layup on the floor. Smith & Wollensky's was a staple for us. We saw Steve's brother maybe twice the whole trip. Only gambling memories I have are: 1) me making a terrible faux pas, requesting to become the banker at the Pai Gow table with Steve and Kermit, and 2) a classic scene at the craps table where the roller was on fire, winning on every roll - and his hockey team trying desperately to pull him away to catch the bus for the hockey game. Oh yes, and I got depressed at the end of the trip and ended up breaking down emotionally...but that's another story.

Trip 5: Mar 2005, Conf Champ weekend (Monte Carlo). Same cast of characters. I remember leaving the house in Iowa to the Cedar Rapids airport.....and then what? Steve never seemed to be in the Monte at all- he always played black jack at the MGM (in the morning) or- gulp- at the Luxor. Steve, for whatever reason - loved the Luxor. This was Kermit's Blazing 7 infatuation, I think - he won a $1500 jackpot, considered kicking us out of the room for a hooker that night (it was 4 in the morning), and then lost it all away in the SAME FREAKING SLOT MACHINE. I think we made side trips after Steve's games to the Rio and the Palms - and oh yes, got to see the breasts of a wife of a teammate of Steve's at the game.

Wow, this is taking longer than I thought. Part 2 coming later...

Vegas

Need to post something to get that drunk post about sisters off the top story. So here is another drunk post about my trip last weekend to Vegas.

Bellagio: Hate it even more than before. Dealers are solid and nice, but the fucking foot traffic is too much. It just feels like an airport. Way too loud and just way too crowded. But not at the tables, just people wandering around. And they don't play any music, only live soft jazz by a piano players placed around the casino. I never noticed it before.

Bellagio: How slow is it now in Vegas? I had my pick of $25 BJ tables on Saturday evening. The craps tables stayed at $10 the entire time. When Carol, Susan, and Johnny were looking for a $25 Pai Gow table on Sunday and there weren't any open, the Pit Boss came over and changed a $50 table to a $25 table. Not too strange you say? Well there were already three people sitting at the table. Now I have seen the pit boss change the table limits lower when it was dead, but never when people were already seated at the table.

South Pointe: New casino south of Vegas on the way home to LA, but seemed like it was 20 years old. $5 tables which was nice, and gambling degenerates as their craps' dealers. About 5 different times, I had to remind the dealer to place my odds because he was watching the Ravens game. When the Ravens didn't make a 4th and 1, the entire craps' crew, including the pit boss, went bezerk. I have a feeling that Eric and I will be making a run to that casino.

Ultimate Texas Holdem: I love this game. LOVE IT so much that while I played it at the Mirage on Sunday morning, I didn't mind the 60 year old guy hovering over my shoulder the entire 90 minutes I played. I was having so much fun, that I would show him the cards while I looked at it and at times asked him if I should play the hand. He was actually more excited than I was when I was winning.

The Bank: We all went to the big dance club at the Bellagio. Very amazed at the amount of sluts still hanging out at expensive clubs in Vegas. Good time, except for the DJ, who only played a song for about 20 seconds before mixing in a new one. I would get excited about hearing a song and before you know it they changed the song. Sucked.

Shopping: So Jorge Blogsada was out there with me and he decides to show up without packing any shorts. So we spent Friday night walking around the stores and the malls looking for a pair of khakis. But there was a problem. Jorge is a little larger than me, so he needs a something larger than a size 38. And wouldn't ya know it, there are no stores on the strip that have a pair of shorts with anything larger than a size 38. Well, that's not true. Jorge and I found a pair that would of fit him, but the pair of shorts were $210.

All in all it was a great time. Got to see Jorge Blogsada and his wife, along with Carol's family. All I have to say is that the next time I get married, I'm doing it in Vegas. It was perfect.

Sisters

Just throwing out a question to the group here. Would you ever have a threesome with two sisters? Would it be just too weird or just plain awesome? I would say it would be awesome, but a little awkward afterwards. Someone in the house thinks it gross and I couldn't handle it. I beg to differ.

Shout out to Ben!!!

Its about fucking time President Bush. Way to wait until the last second to make the right call. How did it take this long? Especially when both political parties wanted this reversed? Even Feinstein made a call to President Bush on behalf of the Border Patrol agents when the verdict came down. And they don't tell the entire story, but who cares, these guys are free.

Depressing Sunday night

Random thoughts from a cold snowy night:

1) It does depress me that the Cardinals made the Super Bowl. Jesus, if the Cardinals can do it, why can't (or haven't) the Browns? Is 1986 (actually, January, 1987) the closest we will come?

(by the way, sorry to the Eagles fan(s) out there).

2) I admit it, when it comes to Ravens-Steelers, I am a bad person. We watched the 4th quarter helmet to helmet collision of McGahee and a Steeler..... Janice actually showed some sympathy toward the players. I calmly said: "Stop it. It's a Raven and a Steeler - both down. A good outcome".

3) Went roller skating Friday night with the kids - and ended up doing "YMCA" on the rink floor. All we needed was a "Defender" arcade game, and it would be 1984 again. Ah, those days at "Skateland" in Cockeysville off of York Road - where the "Advance Business Systems" headquarters is now located.

4) Our country is raising a bunch of wimps. THe kids got off school on Friday because - well, because it was cold. In the morning, it was -3 degrees F outside - and sunny. So what? Bundle up! Get on the bus!

5) Watched a lot of college basketball on Saturday. Let me just say one thing - someone, on the court, whether a player, coach or ref, will be killed by a spectator within the next 20 years. Just watch these two videos - which, if you think about it, are kind of scary - and prove me wrong.

a) Wiz's old classmates at Clemson;
b) Hey, I'm just sticking up for my brother! (the fun starts around the 1:30 mark; watch the person coming down the stairs in the upper right part of the video)

If fans can get this close to the players, it's not a big leap of fate to predict something more ominous could conceivably happen.

6) Two months to go until Vegas! 59 days and counting.

7) Layup went to Vegas - and a classic scenario unfolded, one we all can relate to.
At 1:35 pm Eastern time on Saturday, I got a text from him. "Heading for the Craps table at Bellagio - wish me luck!"

(pause)

At 1:51, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi...", a shocked Layup said. "That was brutal!"

Let's not have any 15 minute craps sessions in March, ok?

End of an era

So Thursday will be my last day managing the Long Beach/La Mirada territory. Ahhhh, finally I get to leave the LA area. On Friday, I'm taking over the Orange/San Diego offices in preparation of bringing over our new acquisition Bristol West. Am I going to miss the LA area? Hmmmm, sort of. Who is going to wake up the homeless sleeping on the floor mats in front of the office? Who is going to install flood lights on the side of our building to keep the homeless from sleeping? Who is going to pick up the 100 pounds of trash they dumped in our parking lot in retaliation of the flood lights? Who is going ensure that their cardboard houses are broken down every morning? Who is going to pick up the rotten meat they threw up on our roof in retaliation of destroying their home? And most importantly, who is going to make sure that the toilets are kept in tip top shape?

Ahhh Little Siagon and Koreatown, who are you going to kick out of your body shops now? Watts and South Central, your "White Devil" of a claims manager is leaving you for greener pastures. And who could forget the lovely Russians that control everything from Glendale to Wilshire. No more arguments about framed accidents, stolen parts, or being threatened on a weekly basis from your lovely attorneys, body shop owners, and claimants.

And who could forget about the employees? Well, now we have a great group. But back in the day I felt like I was at the Alamo. Brighter days ahead.

For those of you that call me at work, please call me on my cell from now on.

Another year older....

Yes, it's that day of the year. Another year older. This is the best image I could come up with to mark this date - never mind the fact that my name is not "Colin".

Some random birthday memories, spurned on by those "Acura" commercials this holiday when the little kids were riding around the house in Big Wheels:

Best present: For whatever reason, the birthday present that sticks out the most from my childhood was my 12th birthday in 1984. We just got an Atari a few months before, and of course that was great as Layup and I battle each other in "Breakout" and "Combat". But then, for my birthday, Mom and Dad gave me "Missile Command". Oh my God - that was the best. I played that 14 hours a day on the weekend trying to reach new scores and levels.

I just realized that 1984 is now TWENTY FIVE years ago. I remember 1984! Mary Lou Retton, "Where's the Beef?" - wow. I am old.

Most sentimental present: During winter break for my senior year in college in 1993, I turned 21 and was spending it at home. Janice sent me a card for my birthday - signed by all of the people we hung out with in the dorm. (You know- all the people that Steve hated.) I think I still have that card.

Golfing memory from my birthday: None. I don't think I have ever golfed on my birthday.

Sporting memories: Two of them:

1982: This was the 1981 AFC Championship and most likely Air Coryell's best chance to get to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, they had to travel to Cincinnati, where it was -7 degrees and the wind chill was -59F. The Bengals won, 27-7, and they went to their first Super Bowl (led by Kenny Anderson). I wasn't rooting for anyone, but was fascinated by the fact they would be playing outside in those temperatures.

2004: I love playoff overtime, and I think I can recite 80-90% of the NFL playoff overtime games. The double OT Carolina-St Louis overtime game happened on this date, 5 years ago...and I remember watching this at the Hershey's as they were throwing us a goodbye party as we planned to move to Iowa. 5 years ago! Wow.

Mangini

Well, thank God the Romeo Crennel era is over in Cleveland. By all accounts - even after he was fired - Romeo is a stand-up guy, a great man of character. But that and $3.99 will get you a Starbucks coffee in today's NFL. He was a coach for the 1960s, caught trying to coach today's players. And when you are actively being criticized by Don Criqui and Dan Fouts is asking "Is anyone awake on the sidelines over there??", well, it's time to go.

So - here comes Mangini. On a scale of 1 to 10, with "1" being Art Shell and "10" being Vince Lombardi, I give this hiring a 7. I'm starting to like the hire.

- I believe he is the first Browns head coach to have NFL head coaching experience since Nick Skorich in 1971. That is, the last time we hired a coach with NFL experience as a head coach was before I was born. Over the past 10 years, we've tried the longtime assistant - Crennel; we've tried the young up and coming assistant (Chris Palmer), and we've tried the hotshot college coach (Butch Davis, who by far was the best coach we've had since the return). So let's try this. Look at the some of the recent coaching studs that we look up to:
- Belichick
- Dungy
- Coughlin
- Turner (no, no, scratch that.....)

What do they have in common? This is their second go around in the NFL.

- The fact that we are probably going to get Rob Ryan for a Def Coordinator (current job: D coordinator for the Raiders) excites me. Finally -an attacking defense? Wow!

- Really, what should a head coach do? A head coach doesn't need to know X's and O's - that's the coordiantor's job. They:
- need to know the rules of the game in and out (what happens when you force the opposing team to punt from their own 4 with :05 left?),
- need to know how to run a 2 minute drill (what a concept),
- need to get their team prepared for the game from the first minute, and
- should motivate/discipline the players.

The players LOVED playing for Romeo. They said as much. Why? Because they were never disciplined.

So far, it seems that Mangini is pretty good at all of the above. I'm not totally 100% in love yet, but I am optimistic.

Too many topics to post about

Happy New Year 2009 ! So many things to blog about.......we'll save the Mangini hire for the next post, and we will talk about politics later, but for now, random notes from the last two weeks:

- I was so looking forward to a civil war in Vegas with a possible Maryland-Purdue 2nd round game or even a Maryland-Dayton 8-9 game....but today's loss to Morgan State just killed those possibilities for now.
What's worse? Maryland losing to Morgan or Boston College (who just beat North Carolina) losing to Harvard? Oh yeah, the ACC is up this year.

- Like Layup, I am so giddy for the golf pool to start. What a fun ride last year - weekly phone calls with Layup on Wednesdays at 10:30 to pick the golfer, and then running downstairs on Thursday morning (like a kid on Christmas) to check for an email from the commissioner that detailed the week's picks. Half the reason why this pool is so good is because the commissioner sends out everyone's picks Thursday morning and sends out a summary Sunday night - weekly!

- Just a Home & Garden note: if you have hardwood floors, please make sure they are sanded and polished. Or, if you fail to do that, then provide your guests with slippers so they don't impale the ball of their foot with a 5" sliver that takes 4 days to remove.

I'm looking at you, Mr. Hershey. Last year, your floor took out Freddie. This year, the floor got me.....

(and yes, on January 2nd, with the sliver, I still ran 3 miles.)

- I am embarrassed to say that in my first head-to-head matchup with Freddie on Madden 08 for the Wii, I had to make a goal line stop at the end to prevent Freddie's Packers from beating my 49ers. I won, 40-35.

- Speaking of the Wii, Warren is starting to write stories in Kindergarten. He wrote about making cookies with Mom. His sentence started :
"Wii got the mixer out......"

- Had a run to the boats over the holiday; Don & I headed to the blackjack table at Argosy - and dammit, they had the auto shufflers. We sat down with one other person who was on first base.
The third or fourth hand, this person had a soft 13 (2-A) against a dealer 9.

"Hit me" he said. Of course!

Ace.

"Hit me"

Ace again. Now a soft 15, 2-A-A-A.

"Hit". No, no it couldn't happen again......

Ace again. 2-A-A-A-A. 16.

"Hit". Don and I are cringing.

Ace again. 2-A-A-A-A-A. 17.

"Hit". Of course, it is the correct play. Don and I have closed our eyes.

Ace. 2-A-A-A-A-A-A. 18.

Now what? He hit, got a 6, then hit again, a Q. A nine-card bust.

Needless to say, there were no back doors for Don or I at that table.

Golf Tourney

For those of you that might be interested, the PGA Golf Pool is just about to start up. There is still time to join. Right now we have RRD, Wiz, Lee, Eric, my Dad, and myself, with Don and Mike on the verge. If anyone is interested in joining, this is easily the best run pool that I've been apart of and its only $100 for 41 weeks of entertainment. That's only $2.41 a week!!! What a value.

Also, I'm setting the over on text messages between the group for tomorrow's opening round at 90.


And for the newbies that are just joining the tourney, please study the above picture. This man will crush your heart and screw up your entire tournament. He is the devil and if I have a chance I will kick him in the nuts when I see him.

60% Winning Percentage

How do you go 135-100 in NFL gambling and only have $40 left in the account? Well you are a degenerate gambler that can't control himself from wagering on College Football, College Basketball, NBA, and Hockey.

Nice work Mr. Zahn

Mothers

Check out this crazy story that took place right up the road from my office. I think his reaction is a bit excessive, but still brings up a very discerning trend that I see with mothers. They don't understand the meaning of loyalty. Too many times with myself or with my friends, I hear about the mother siding with an ex girlfriend when the son and the girl breakup. This happened to me when Amy and I broke up. The first thing out of my mom's mouth when I told her was "What did you do wrong?" What the hell is that all about. Then I had to hear for weeks on end about how great Amy was and that I should go back to her. That's great. That's exactly what I want to hear from my mom.

Then the same thing happened to Ben (twice) but his mom took it to another level. She actually stayed in contact with his ex's and would call Ben to tell him about what they were up to. What is in a mother's DNA to do this? Where is the loyalty to the son? You never see this happen with the Dad, only the mom.

And in the story above, this mom invites the guys ex wife to a Christmas party? And this is after a nasty divorce? Great idea. Way to send the guy over the edge.

Sports News

Baseball
1. I haven't commented at all about all the moves so far this offseason. I'm happy about getting Holiday on the A's, but it seems a little meaningless without Furcal. Now we are stuck with Crosby who is terrible offensively and defensively. This will kill our offense, which already has too many question marks with Chavez and Ellis coming back from injuries. I'm sure Beane will do something else before the start of the season, but what a huge letdown not to get Furcal. The bullpen will be our strength and our starters have a huge upside, but not everyone will pan out. I'm predicting 85 wins this year in a weak AL West.

2. The only thing that is giving me hope in the A's is that Texeria is no longer on the Angels. What a huge break. Now I just have to wait for Manny to sign somewhere else.

3. Brad Penny to the Sox is a steal. 1 year $5 million contract with a $3 million incentive? Um, where were the A's in this? When Penny is healthy he is dominate.

4. I know its just ESPN being ESPN, but can we give the "Yanks ruining baseball" a break? Ugh. Haven't they been saying this for the past 20 years? Yanks reduce their payroll, and all they can say is that they spend too much money. Come on. Its makes it all the better when TB kicks all of their asses come next year.


NFL:
1. So all the road teams are favored in the Wild Card Weekend? Wow. This has me scared.

2. So if you took the under in Eric's "When will Romeo be fired", its time to cash in. Its sad to see that some of the other coaches are still employed. How can I make any Herm Edwards to the Browns jokes when he isn't fired yet?

3. Congrats to Eric for winning the pickem pool. Very impressive. I am a believer in your ability to only pick NFL games. Hockey, College Basketball and Football, and Soccer not so much.

NFL Wagering
1. Ohhh, so many things to like in the upcoming weekend in gambling. Taking Indy (-1.5) and the Under (51) is like taking candy from a baby. Norv in the playoffs and LT injured is making me giddy. If you watched last nights game, Denver couldn't stop Sproiles (every other team in the league has) and they also threw two interceptions in the red zone. Manning won't do that. SD isn't that good.

2. Wait a second. I get to make more money off of Tarvis Jackson? What a nice late Christmas present. Take Philly -3.

3. Miami vs Baltimore- As bad as I want to take the Ravens giving 3, a rookie QB on the road in the playoffs usually means bad things. Wait, has that ever happened before? I think I'm going to just take the over (37).

4. Atlanta vs Arizona- See above. I'll take the home team getting 2.5 against a rookie QB everyday of the week.

College Football Wagering:

1. OK, someone please talk me out of wagering on the Terps tomorrow.

2. Then loan me some money to unload on USC and Texas. The Big Ten is terrible.

3. Did you know that San Diego has two bowls games in the same stadium two weeks apart? I know it happens with the Orange Bowl, but I thought that was interesting.

NFL Week 17: Gene Steratore

Here we are, the end of the season. I have put the Crennel firing watch at 16 1/2 hours after the end of the Steelers game...in 16 1/2 hours after the end of the game, the official word will come down and be reported on ESPN. Are you taking the over or under?

Week 17 saves the best ref for last ... Gene Steratore. Quality official, was the lead ref for one of the great Browns games last year (Browns-Seahawks), and I am convinced that he will get a good playoff assignment this year and a Super Bowl somewhere down the line.

Back to the Browns...4-12 this year, and back to the drawing board with a new coach and probably a new GM.....maybe, just maybe, we can turn it around in 2009 like the Falcons did this year. I think the talent is here on the team to be 8-8 this year....with a decent coach (Cowher? Marty?), I think 9-7 (or better?) is definitely possible next year. And the schedule gets a bit easier, playing the NFC North and the AFC West.

TB 24, Oak 13. I'm done trying to figure out either of these teams.

Pit 24, Cle 6. I can't figure this line out. We haven't scored an offensive touchdown in 5 games - and we are only 11 point underdogs? I know Pit will be playing their 2nd string...but cmon.

Car 23, NO 20. I think last week took a lot out of Carolina, and the Saints may win here.

Min 20, NYG 17. Like last year, the Giants will play hard to the end.

Ind 20, Ten 17. Neither team has anything to play for. And we Browns fans know that Jim Sorgi is no good....so why am I picking this game for the Colts, again?

Hou 27, Chi 17 After last week's close shave, I think the Bears are a fraud.

GB 23, Det 16. The Lions will make this close.

Cin 24, KC 21. This will officially send the Browns to last in the AFC North.

NE 31, Buf 17. The Pats will go all out in this one.

Atl 24, StL 10. Falcons stll may get a division title.

SF 24, Was 16. Yes, the collapse of the Skins continues.

Az 28, Sea 17. I just gotta believe that the Seahawks shot their last wad last week, and Arizona needs to prove something - anything! - at home.

Phi 24, Dal 23. I have no idea...so I'm picking how I will be rooting.

NYJ 20, Mia 17, OT. Would it be any other way - coming down to OT?

Bal 26, Jax 10. Yes, the Ravens clinch a playoff spot. Wow.

SD 27, Den 24. I don't think the Broncos will lie down and give this spot to the Chargers. And it is Norv Turner as the Chargers coach, after all.

Best bets: 15 this week: Last week: 7-7-1; overall: 135-100-7.

Pit -11 (I usually never bet on the Browns game, but c'mon....)

Car/NO Under 51

NYG +7

Ind +3

Hou -3

Det +11
KC/Cin over 39

NE -5.5

NE/Buf over 40

StL/Atl under 44

SF -3

AZ -7

NYJ/Mia under 43

Bal -11

Den +8

So much anger

I hate fucking Pottery Barn. How are simple wooden chairs for a kitchen table $250 a pop? Oh, I have an option of a $99 chair, but it will only fit one of my ass cheeks on it. The chairs are actually twice as much as the table that we want to buy. How are they in business? Oh, that's right, they have an amazing marketing campaign that brain washes all women into thinking that their furniture is the only crap that matters. Trying to talk Carol out of shopping at Pottery Barn is like trying to convince Lee and Wiz to stay at the Monte Carlo. Impossible.

And what the hell is the deal with rugs? I love my hardwood floors, but for some reason we need to put a $2000 rug over top of it. Then why did we get the upgraded hardwoods? Why not just carpeting? ARGH!!! OK, I'm done with my Seinfeld type rant. Sorry.

Rant

Can I just tell you that I really don't like Christmas anymore? Maybe its because I'm cross country and it requires pretty solid planning to ensure everything gets back East or to the Midwest in time without it costing $1,000. Or maybe its my office where every supervisor and manager has their hand out expecting a gift from me. I tried to make this easier this year when I took them all out to a nice dinner and then the women went to go see Wicked and the men went to the Laugh Factory for a show. But even with this I had one supervisor sort of ask me where my present was for them today. Umm, the $3,000 in dinner and tickets wasn't enough for you? Unbelievable.

So I guess I'm a little bit jaded. Over the years I have become to like sending out Christmas Cards and I've gotten better and better in sending these out timely. I usually go with a traditional card and keep it simple, but this year Carol wanted to make her own cards and so that is what was sent out. So this entire process of sending out cards really isn't a downer for me.

But what is are the cards that I receive from my friends. I have two pet peeves on Christmas Cards. I absolutely hate the "Pictures of My Kids Christmas Cards" and I hate the year in review summary I get from others. Here's what upsets me:

1. These cards were obviously massed produced either by Target or on their home computer. It probably took the couple 5 minutes to send out 100 of these cards. Where is the time and effort in signing each one and possibly writing something nice and sweat.

2. I don't want to see a forced close up picture of your kids from Sears in their holiday best. Rarely do the kids seem happy in the pictures. Now I have to have these pictures stare at me while I watch TV for a month.

3. What ever happened to the old Far Side Christmas cards with a picture of Santa yelling up the chimney "Where are the presents? Do I have to come up there and knock some heads together" with a little kid watching from behind the couch with the caption "Billy realizes that Santa is a jerk." I love these things and now they are in danger of permanently disappearing because everyone is printing out picture cards.

4. If you must send out pictures of the kids, then include the parents as well, since they are the ones I'm friends with. I hate the guessing game of whose kids they are.

5. Puts added pressure on me to have kids. Its bad enough that Carol's best friend is pregnant, but now I have 10 Christmas cards with kids on it staring at Carol every evening. Makes for a great time at home right now. Thanks a lot guys.

6. Year in Review Summary- Really only one thing to say about this. Why? Do you really not talk to anyone frequent enough that you feel like you need to give us a summary of everything going on in life. For Christ sake, you are just not that important and most of us don't care.

So I know that this will result in me getting either zero Christmas Cards next year or 1,000 photos of everyone's kids for Easter, Thanksgiving, or 4th of July.

Sunday

Moved into the new house. Had some issues with the movers, which resulted in me overpaying and having to move everything other than a few big furniture items. Guess I deserved this by going with Movers for Less Inc. Ugh. So on Sunday I walked down to the local Wing joint to watch the afternoon games. Few thoughts while watching the crap afternoon games.

1. Walked into the bar and there were seven guys sitting next to each other wearing the following jerseys; Sean Taylor (Skins), Rodney Harrison (SD), Jake Plummer (Den), Elway (Den), Jerome Bettis (Pit), David Carr (Houston), and Natron Means (SD). Not one current jersey between the seven of them. Classic.

2. $3.00 for 6 excellent wings, along with $5.00 for 22 ounce Blue Moons, plus Direct TV equals Derek's new favorite place to watch games. This also equals Derek losing the weight loss challenge to Eric. I need to send more Arby's coupons to Eric to make it an even playing field.

3. I will continue to comment on the Coors Light commercials. The Brian Billick commercials are a thing of beauty. I absolutely love it. I'm so excited for the super bowl to see if they have news ones all set.

4. I have realized that I sound like a homeless person while I watch football (or any sporting events) by myself at a bar. I'm shouting things out randomly at TVs. Laughing at my phone. Writing random things in my notebook while mumbling to myself. I had a table of two guys sitting next to me a the bar on Sunday look over to me as I was shaking my head and doing one of those I can't believe this is happening to me laughs saying "Unfucking believable", while writing something in my book. I think they were getting scared.

5. Random Vegas Note #1: I'm excited for our trip in March for many reasons, but one of the top ones will be pulling an all nighter with Jay drinking and gambling. This became an annual thing with us a few years back, and it usually ended up with us sitting the Wheel of Fortune machine hammered, making calls back home at 5:00am in the morning.

6. Random Vegas Thought #2: What a a bunch of degenerates going this year!! Eric and I were just talking about it. Not a weak member in the group. This could be very very dangerous. We do lose a valuable members in Micah and Kermit, but gain Jay and Laura. With Eric, Wiz, Lee, Jay, Laura, Don, Mike, and myself as the main core along with Dick and his two older buddies coming along to kick off the weekend on Wednesday and Thursday, this should be exciting. Too bad my bankroll will probably be the smallest its been in about 4 years.

I wish I was joking...

...but I'm not.

During the telecast today, Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon were questioning the Browns' defensive strategy.

"This is not rocket science. You know the Bengals are going to run hard and limit their passes. Do we watch more game tape than the Browns' coaching staff?"

And he wasn't being sarcastic.

Question:
The Browns now have not scored an offensive TD in 20 quarters. And we go to Pittsburgh next week.
Any guesses on the line? I'm thinking 19 1/2.

By the way: leading passer in the game: Ken Dorsey, 68 yards.

NFL Week 16: Tony Corrente

Week 16 of this interminable NFL season is upon us. We finish up the last two weeks with two of the better refs in the league. Tony Corrente will be doing a Super Bowl soon - in fact, he was the alternate for Super Bowl 40 in Detroit. Just think - if he did the game instead of McAulay, would Mike Holmgren still be coaching, or be retired with 2 Super Bowl rings? Would Cowher still be with the Steelers? Would Bettis still be playing too? The mind boggles...

Anyway, the picks for this week (and you know I am honest with you, so I will provide my picks for the first 2 games this week):

Ind 27, Jax 9
Bal 23, Dal 20. Yes, I did predict this....I picked them to win straight up in my pick em pool.

TB 23, SD 13. Geesh, has San Diego mailed in this season, no?

Pit 23, Ten 21. I have no idea what will happen here. Will Pit be worn out after 5 tough games in a row? Are the Titans really this good?

(By the way, can I maim the ShamWOW guy so he doesn't appear on TV again? )

SF 20, StL 19. Just a hunch. Probably a bad one.

NE 33, Az 13. The Pats are desperate and need wins. They will jump on the Cardinals early and often.

Mia 20, KC 13. This AFC East will go down to next week.

NO 27, Det 17. Not this week. NO is just too good with Brees.

NYJ 24, Sea 16. Everyone wants to pick the Seahawks. I don't know.....the Seahawks had to hold on for dear life against the Rams....

Hou 27, Oak 9. This just smells like a trap for Houston. Can you have trap games for non-playoff teams?

Den 22, Buf 16. I can't believe that the Bills are that bad....are they?

Phi 24, Was 13. The Eagles will make the playoffs, I predict.

Atl 24, Min 20. Upset of the week.

NYG 20, Car 19. I have no clue about these teams anymore.

Chi 28, GB 13. The Bears want revenge from the 37-3 drubbing they received 5 weeks ago.

Cle 14, Cin 13. The exact score of the Cle-Cin game in 1991. 4 field goals and a safety for the Browns gave them the win. The kicker for the Browns that day? The rookie Matt Stover.

Best bets: 15 this week. Last week: 6-7-2 (overall: 128-93-6).

Ind -6 (W)
Bal +5.5 (W)
TB -3.5
SD/TB under 42.5
Pit/Ten over 34
Stl +5
NE -8
Mia -3.5
NYJ -3.5
Hou -7
Hou/Oak under 43.5
Buf/Den under 45
Phi -5
Atl +3
Chi -4

Quotes from a 7 year old

Ah, to be an innocent 7 year old....these are actual quotes from Freddie over the past few weeks:

1) As Freddie and I were going to the Browns game before Thanksgiving, he saw that #10, Brady Quinn, was going to be the starter.

"Anderson's not starting?"

No, I said. Brady is in now.

"Hmmmm....is it an NFL rule that teams have to change quarterbacks every month?"

(I haven't asked him yet what he thinks about Dorsey).

2) Church pageant: we asked Freddie and Warren if they wanted to be in the Church Christmas pageant. After much hemming and hawing, Freddie agreed. "I'll do it this year", he said, "and then I'll take next year off. Then I'll do it again when I'm in 4th grade."

It's hard being a star, apparently.

3) Christmas time! Freddie and Janice went out shopping for a present, apparently for me. At the dinner table that night:

Freddie: "Hey Dad, we went out and got you a Christmas present. But it's a secret!"

Me: "Really? You can't tell me? You can't give me a hint?"

Freddie: "No! Mom said we're not allowed to tell you what your present is - and if we do, she'll take it back to GameStop."

Janice then buried her head in her hands.

So - is it Madden 09 or Tiger Woods PGA?

Calling Wiz...

And just what impact will this freak snow storm have on the casinos?

No flights are coming in or leaving Vegas today - and probably tomorrow. Here's a shocker: McCarran airport does not have snow removal equipment. Really?

Post Office

Why do fat old dumb people continue to fuck everything up for the rest of us! I'm at the post office today to buy some stamps for my Christmas cards. The line at the counter is about 20 people deep, but there is a self check out machine on the side that doesn't have that many people in line. So I jump into that line, but then realize that there is a 300 pound 60 year old female trying to buy postage for about 10 packages, but has no clue how to work the machine. Why do people do this? If you don't know how to use it, don't even attempt it unless there is no one in the store. Slowly behind me a line of about 8 people form, so now the entire Post Office is packed and people are getting mad. We all try to offer our help to her, but guess what, SHE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!! OK, maybe that is not entirely true, but she speaks very broken English and we realize that it is a lost cause to even start to explain to her how this thing works. One man in front of me sort of pushed her into the other line with a collective sigh of relief from everyone else. This could of resulted in an all out riot if she was allowed to stay there any longer.

Material

I've been sort of quiet on the blog recently, mainly because I really didn't have much to talk about. I've been knee deep in work, buying a house, and dealing with the collapse of my fantasy football teams. Below are my recent ramblings to start off the week.

1. Gov Blago- I'm surprised I haven't seen any chatter on the blog about this idiot. The one thing I love though is his hair. And the fact that he has a hair brush that must be with him at all times and he calls "The Football". Nice.

2. And what is Obama doing with this Blago stuff. It's obvious to most of us that it is only natural and necessary for his staff to contact Blago about the Senate seat, so why are they being so hush hush about it? And this is after the FBI stated that Obama did nothing wrong. What is going on here? It's making them look like they did something wrong.

3. And the final word about Blago. Wouldn't he be a great addition to our Vegas trip? He would definitely be in charge of our room reservations. "Boys, what we have here is gold. 8 people wanting to spend money in Vegas. If they don't comp our rooms, Fuck them. Mirage, what are you going to give us? Nothing, Fuck you. We will stay in our cars then."

4. Bush and shoes- Um, wow. Two things from this shoe throwing incident. First, great job by Bush in dodging the shoes. Amazing reaction time. He should be a boxing trainer after he returns to Texas. And secondly, great form by the shoe thrower. The first throw is expected to be on target, but the second one, not only was he on target, but he did it while having some hands in his face. All in all, very impressive by everyone.

5. Things you don't want to hear your government say. "We have run out of tear gas". What the hell is going on in Greece.

6. Great story last week in the Wall Street Journal. Chucke Cheese has seen a sharp increase in violence at their MidWest locations. I guess the business idea of serving alcohol to adults was not a great idea. A cop in Milwaukee stated that he has been called to Chucke Cheese 4 times as more than the biker bar down the street.

7. So on Saturday I traveled up to Pasadena to some small English bar to watch Hull City vs. Liverpool. Yup. Woke up at 5:00am and drove 90 minutes to watch a soccer game. The reason was justified as I promised one of my supervisors, a South African who is a huge Liverpool fan, that I would watch a game with him. And since my favorite gambling team, Hull City was playing his team, I decided to bit the bullet and head on up there. And I was very impressed. The bar was a tiny hole in the wall, but very cool. 60 people crammed into the bar to watch the game. 58 of them were Liverpool fans. I was the only guy in the bar that didn't have a British accent. In the end it was a good time. Hull City took a 2-0 lead, but blew it, and ended up 2-2 tie. Still won money though, so I was happy.

8. Let's go Browns tonight!!! I'm up by 25 points in my one fantasy league and the other guy has McNabb going tonight. I have finished the regular season in second place and overall points leader in both of my leagues and I could win a total of ZERO dollars for the year. ugh.

The Frog is Famous

I meant to post this earlier, but things got crazy at work. As some of you may know, one of our own appeared in ESPN Magazine. Kermit lives in and owns the "Heisman House" in Cleveland, the birthplace of John Heisman, and was interviewed by ESPN Magazine. Here is the article.

Frankly, I'm very disappointed. Topics that I was expecting, but were not mentioned, in an interview with Kermit for a national publication:

- a discussion of vodka brands

- strippers

- cheeseburgers (note: why didn't you pose in front of 45 McDonald's cheeseburgers for a picture of a "trophy" that you owe me)

- the word "Mer"

- your thought process when trying to make a 8-foot, straight in, uphill par putt against Steve or I.

But a good read anyway!

NFL Week 15: John Parry

Here we are in the final weeks of the NFL season. For some teams and fans, it is a prelude to the excitement and drama of January playoff football; for others, these are the critical weeks that represent a do-or-die scenario for the teams and cities.

And then you have those teams who are completely out of the race, and have nothing to look forward to. A lame duck coach, a QB that can't throw the ball more than 10 yards, and a defense that has holes all over the place. THese are the anonymous teams and the fans just want the pain to end.

So here's John Parry - a fairly anonymous official who grew up in Akron. That may explain why I never see him on Browns games - although the photo above is from the Cleveland-Oakland game last year. I'm not sure Parry is a playoff caliber official - it may say something that the photo we could find was from that game between 2 of the NFL's doormat franchises right now.

By the way, my wish list for a new Browns coach in 2009:

1. Bill Cowher

2. Marty Schottenheimer

3. Steve Spagnuolo

Sea 20, StL 16. This wins the award for "Stinker game of the week". Next week's award: Cin at Cle, and finally, KC at Cin.

NYJ 27, Buf 17. Not sure what to think about the Jets any more. Have teams figured them out?

Mia 23, SF 19. May not be as easy as everyone thinks.

SD 28, KC 27. I'm not ready to predict an upset here, but it would not surprise me.

GB 20, Jax 17. What happened to the Packers this year?

Ind 31, Det 10. Three more to go for the Lions

Ten 27, Hou 20. I think Houston will make too many mistakes that will prevent a win.

Cin 17, Was 16. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me four times.....ugh. I just have no faith in the Redskins. None.

TB 23, Atl 20. The Bucs are desperate, and Gruden will find a way.

Az 20, Min 17. What motivation do the Cards have here to play well?

NE 28, Oak 10. I think the Pats received a wake up call last week.

Car 27, Den 16. I think the Panthers are on a roll right now.

Pit 19, Bal 16, OT. Pit's defense against a rookie QB? I'll take the points.

NYG 31, Dal 23. Dallas has just been too inconsistent for me, period.

Phi 31, Cle 3. I'll be in Puerto Rico for this one.......far away from this upcoming debacle. The Browns will have 3 Monday night games in 2008 - and in all three games, they had a different starting QB.

Best bets: 15 of them; last week: 11-4. Overall: 121-86-4

Chi -3 (push)

Sea/Stl Under 42

KC +6

SD/KC over 45

GB/Jax under 46.5

Ind -17

Ten -3

Cin +6.5

TB +3

Min/Az under 46.5

NE -6.5

Car -7.5

Pit +2.5

NYG +3

NYG/Dal over 45.5

Depressed

Yup, another "close but no cigar" finish in another gambling pool. Thank you very fucking much DeAngelo Williams. 200 yards and two touchdowns sank my top ranked team in the playoffs. I ended up losing by 2 points. Thanks for keeping the streak a live you fucking piece of shit.


Went out to Palm Springs this weekend with Carol and her friends. Great time actually, and it was topped off with an evening at an Indian Casino. Nice run at BJ and Pai Gow. At Pai Gow, sat next to a nice old Jewish lady playing $50 a hand and another $25 on the bonus. She gave me grief for not playing it. Made for a nice hour of playing. Taught Carol's friends and they are now hooked. Then the evening went downhill. Played some more BJ with an idiot with a handle bar mustache who split tens. This led to a friendly little conversation between him and I and me pulling my money and watching him lose hand after hand and me openly laughing with the dealer at him. Let's just say he wasn't too happy. Then I got hooked into a quick game of Indian Casino craps. The one that is played on a regular size craps table,but they use cards instead of dice. In 4 minutes I lost $50. No matter how hard I try to stay away from this shit game, it always pulls me in.

And what puts me into full drinking mode is checking the Sirius/XM stock price.

NFL Week 14: Bill Corollo

We're getting to the homestretch here of the NFL regular season...and with the Browns' absolute collapse this year, it's leaving me deflated. Here's Bill Carollo. I got nothing else about him - he seems like a decent official, I have never had problems with him during a Browns game.

That's like what it's going to be at 1:00 today. Here's the Browns...starring Ken Dorsey. Wow. Playing at a feared defensive line at Tennessee, who has the best record in the AFC.

And to make matters worse, who is the announcing crew for this game? With Tennessee, the best team in the AFC, you'd think we get some sort of decent crew, like Gus or Dick or Greg.

But no - we get the #8 team - Don Criqui. God, is he terrible. So I get to listen to that as we fail to gain 100 yards of offense in a 51-3 loss today to the Titans. This is feeling like Spergon Wynn and the 2000 Browns all over again.

(and that was bad football.....)

NYG 27, Phi 20. It's hard for me to see how much of a hurt this Plaxico thing really is for the Giants. They've got so many other weapons....

NO 27, Atl 20. I think NO is better than their record.

Ind 23, Cin 10. Two weeks until the Fitzpatrick/Dorsey struggle at "sold-out" Browns' stadium!

GB 27, Hou 13. The bleeding will stop for the Packers here.

Min 27, Det 17. Is it really going to happen? The Lions go 0-16?

Chi 27, Jax 13. Jacksonville is like the stock market 6 months ago. All the signs were there for a collapse, but no one truly grasped how bad the situation was.

Sea 20, NE 17. Cassel vs Holmgren? Why do I still fall for the Seahawks?

NYJ 31, SF 20. I can't see the Jets losing another one....can they?

Den 23, KC 17. A letdown game for the Broncos

Buf 24, Mia 23. I have no idea who will show up for these two teams.

Pit 24, Dal 13. Wow, Pittsburgh is better than I thought. And I think Dallas is too weak emotionally to face teh Steelers.

Az 31, StL 13. Who has Warner on their fantasy team?

Bal 19, Was 9. OK, OK, I give up. I'll pick the Ravens this week (and of course, I will lose...)

Car 20, TB 17. There is not enough publicity for this game. This may be the best matchup we've seen in 6 weeks. And no one cares.

Best bets: 15 for today. Last week: 8-6. Overall: 110-82-4.

Phi/NYG over 42
NO -3
Cin/Ind under 41.5
GB -6
Hou/GB under 47.5
Chi -6.5
Sea +6.5
NYJ -3.5
NYJ/SF over 44.5
KC +9.5
KC/Den under 48.5
Pit -3
Az -14
Bal -5.5
Was/Bal under 35.5

Oh that Christmas spirit

Yeah, nothing fills you up with the Christmas spirit more than using a chain saw inside your own house when trying to set up a Christmas tree....

.... a tree that was cut in your own yard.....

.... and then you mis-measured where to cut the tree, so when you thought you got the top 9' of it, you actually got the top 14'......

.... and while cutting it, the tree almost falls directly on you and your father in law....

Oh yeah, December is starting off well.....

Greatest Email Complaint Ever!!!

So this is what I have to deal with on almost a weekly basis. Crazy customers and crazy claimants. This is an email that I received today. The man is emailing our defense attorney, and copied in myself and a couple of other managers.


Subject: Mr. Attorney, O.J. Simpson is sentenced, Do you still think that it is a good idea for your to threaten me??

As you can see O.J. Simpson AT THE END is sentenced!!!!
With the way you are going your time is going to come. I was wondering what are the sentencing guidelines for violation of Racketeer Corrupt Organizations Act? P.C. 550(b)(2) and (b)(3) and P.C. 182? Topping that threatening a potential litigant to not pursuit his legal rights in court while you have him on the speaker phone and your "staff" are listening???

By the way any thing happens to me, due to the statements you have made, the first person the detectives are going to question is you. Well it is a good idea to think before you act on your revengeful thoughts.

AS I HAVE PROMISED MY LAWSUIT WILL BE FILED AND I WILL NOTICE YOUR DEPOSITION AND OTHER PEOPLE'S WHO WERE INVOLVED.
FURTHERMORE, I HAVE ATTACHED A COPY OF THE CIVIL COMPLAINT TO THIS e-mail FOR YOUR REVIEW WHICH GIVES YOU PROOF THAT I AM WORKING ON THE LAWSUIT AND YOUR THREATS DID NOT WORK!!!!!!

End



I go onto

Tune for the Craps table

Hello from Greensboro! Coming home from the plant today, I turned on an oldies country station on AM - and this gem is now burned into my brain:

How many biscuits can you eat, this mornin',
How many biscuits can you eat, this evenin',
How many biscuits can you eat,
Forty-nine and a ham of meat,
This mornin', this evening, right now.

Apparently, this is an old bluegrass tune from the 50s. Oh yes, this is perfect to sing at the craps table in March.

The Republican Recovery, part 1 (of 53?)

I've been thinking about the key ideas that the Republican party needs to embrace to set themselves up for a recovery in 2010. It's clear that the party has a crisis of faith right now - what,exactly, does it stand for?

On a side note, the Washington Post has been putting together a series of stories on online betting - the story yesterday was about whether or not offshore wagering is even legal.

Barney Frank was quoted in the piece, trying to compare online gambling to horse racing:

Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), the sponsor of a bill to legalize online gambling, said that even today, "you can't get a straight answer if horse racing is illegal. It's total hypocrisy and mishmash." He calls the ban on Internet betting "an outrageous interference in Americans' personal freedoms."


I completely agree with Rep. Frank.

Step 1 in a Republican recovery: draft an issue statement that covers wagering and Ameicans' choices - and that is completely consistent across all forms. You want to take a stand against on-line wagering? Well, ok - but then the party needs to make sure we outline state keno, OTB, and other forms.


My advice to the party: be consistent and remove any whiff of hypocrisy. I'm in favor of legalizing all of it, but I can understand if others don't want to support it at all. If they go halfway - horse racing is ok, on line is not - then it shwos the party is out of touch with today's voters - especially the younger (people in their 20s and 30s) vote. If they support some gambling but not others, they give the impression that teh party believes people still go to Horse races in their Sunday best (complete with fedoras) and poker rooms are still run by the mobs.

Please, get into the 21st century.

Interesting Free Agent article

This is an article that talks about Schilling's negotiations with Boston back in november of 2003. An interesting first hand look of some behind the scenes stuff that goes on in big free-agent/trade discussion.

Quick Thoughts

As the market crumbles, here are a couple quick thoughts for Monday afternoon:

1. Am I the only one excited for Brody Jenner's new MTV show Bromance? Now where is Spencers spin off?
2. Have you ever seen video of yourself hammered? Wow, Carol had some video of us in Destin, FL back in September and it was scary. I looked like a member of the Megan's Law program and Carol was barking out orders to everyone. Not flattering. Something that I would never want people at work to see.
3. Watched "The Hammer" over the weekend. Not great, but not too bad. Perfect afternoon movie when you got nothing else to do. Adam Corolla wasn't too bad in it.
4. US Car Companies- Who are these executives? God its sad. How are they just now putting together viability plans? At this stage? Um, where was this about 2 years ago. OK, fine what about 3 months ago? But now, don't you think that is a little too late?