About Last Night

A couple of notes from this weekend and last night:

• Chip Carey sucks!!!!!! This reminds me of the mid 90s when every offensive lineman was trying to sound like John Madden. If I closed my eyes I could of sworn that was Joe Buck doing the game. And what was with that "A little Vitamin D from the Milkman" line when Melky caught a fly ball? Makes no sense.


• I said it before and I will say it again, Tony Gwynn wears his fat so nicely.


• I listened to most of the Indians series on the radio and it was so enjoyable because of John Miller. But its bad when I'm asking why isn't Joe Morgan the color guy. Dusty Baker was terrible as his fill in. The guy is clueless. Knows nothing about either team. Really took away from Miller's magical calls.


• What a great push last night on the over/under in the Indians score!!! I thought I had it in the bag until Mussina pitched lights out and Byrd pitched out of his ass.


• I told Eric that Wedge was doing the right thing by pitching Byrd, but wanted a quick hook if he got in trouble. Too many times in the past I have seen the A's push Hudson, Mulder, and Zito to go on 3 days rest with horrendous results. Unless your name is RJ or even Schilling, go with a fresh starter instead of pushing a guy on 3 days rest. Those days are over since nobody is capable of even going on 4 days rest anymore.


• And what is with Wedge. He is a cross between a homeless man and Popeye. I can't wait to see what happens to him during the ALCS.


• Joe Torre gone? Its tough but I think it is the right move. And it is the perfect time in my mind. George has to hold someone accountable right? And the players won't leave because of him since most of them will take the extra million to stay.
• Right now I'm going with the Indians in 7. CC and Carmona will win all of their games.

Never a doubt!

To the ALCS we go after an extremely nervous, nausea-inducing 9th.

Some notes on the game, none of them strategy related:

1) It was just like old times with the phone tonight. Every half inning, a call would come in (or I would call) from/to either Derek or Steve in Cleveland. Just like the good old days in the mid- to late-90s.

Steve used to live in his grandmother's house in the basement - many of my hard-earned grad school dollars were lost there to Steve while playing gin and watching Beavis and Butthead. He lived there in 95, 96 and 97, and we called each other constantly during the playoffs that year.
His grandmother got the phone bill one time in Oct, 97.

Grandma: "STEVIE!"
Steve: "yes, Grandma?"
G: "What the hell is this? There is a phone call to Cincinnati at 8:42 pm, and then another phone call at 8:44 pm. Explain this!"
S: "Well, that's because Eric called me at 8:43!"

I swear that is the truth.

2) Steve and his family used to have front row, upper deck tickets to Indians games. We spent at least 7-10 games in old Municipal stadium every spring/fall....and then he had very similar tickets when Jacobs field was opened. Anyway, I developed some annoying habits sitting with him which we can go into later.
One of them that developed over time was for me to pound my hand against the upper deck railing in front of us and whine/pray/request a DP when runners got on base for the opposition. I could only summon the spirits once or (at most) twice a game, so we had to make sure not to waste it.

I have to say I had a pretty good success rate (although I'm sure that's just my selective memory).

Well, we come to the 6th inning and Perez got himself into a jam. 1st and 3rd, 1 out....and Jeter at the plate. Carl Willis comes to the mound to calm Perez down...and my phone rings.

Eric: "Hello?"
Steve: "Hello sir. You remember what you used to do?"
Eric: "Of course...."
Steve: "Well?
Eric: (pounding my hand against the coffee table) "I WANT A DOUBLE PLAY!"

and Jeter obliges.

3) What children's music will do to you, part 35: Victor comes up in the 5th with the bases loaded and 1 out...... 4-1 TRibe. A hit here breaks it open.

Ground ball! Base hit! I yell Victor! Victor - hey, that's a song! Let's sing and dance!

Victor Vito and Freddie Pasco
They like to eat fast, they never eat slow
Oh they ate their rice...they ate their beans
They ate their rutabagas and they ate their collard greens...

Hey Victor! (hey Victor!)
Hey Freddie! (hey Freddie!)
Let's eat some...
spaghetti!
Hey Victor! (hey Victor!)
I'm ready....
to have some
spaghetti
with Freddie!

Ah, Laurie Berkner is a genius.

Gooooooooo Tribe!

My guess is the Jaeg is empty

I'm figuring with Joe Borowski's heart attack ninth, Eric is probably passed out. Or potentially looking as bad as Derek did at the end of his wedding night. How great is it that the Yanks are out? I know everyone will bitch that the RS are in....but I'd like to offer a hearty STFU to all of you! I'm still giddy that we will no longer be seeing:

1. Jeter and have to hear about his great intangibles and leadership qualities
2. Ronan Tynan and his freaking Satellite dish ears
3. Yankee mystique
4. Roger F-ing Clemens
5. Joe Torre and Steinbrenner

Woohoo!!!! Thank you Tribe!!!!!!!!

As far as th ALCS goes. Well, lets face it. These were the two best teams in baseball all year, so its fitting it comes down to them. The Yankees slept for two months, had an incredible run just to get in the postseason - nice job. But the Sox and Indians were the most consistant, most balanced teams all season - so they deserve to be playing right now.

I am scared sh!tless of Carmona and CC right now. I think they can completely shut down the Red Sox offense. BUT, with Borowski at the end ANYTHING is possible. We all know that a teams season long achilles heel ALWAYS rears its head and mushrooms in the postseason, so I have to hope that his suckitude derails a strong start or two in the series (think Mark Wholers, or any Braves closer for that matter, Calvin Schiraldi, BYK, etc). If that does happen that will be tough to rebound from because a blown lead just hangs around like a black cloud. I know, ARZ won with BYK, but would Wedge be bold enough to pitch his two horses the amount that ARZ rode Schilling and RJ?? I doubt it.

Should be a good series, I'll pick the Sox in 7. Not really a pick, just what I want.

BTW, Eric where was the writeup on the Browns Pats game? And was that the craziest cover this year?? Wow. The Browns played OK, the Pats definitely didn't have their A game. You must feel like they are still going in the right direction despite the 17 point loss. Hey that was the closest game they played all season!

Let the record show...

that I would have started CC tonight.

Am I nervous? Yes, a bit. Worried? No. Last night was a bad game. Let's shake it off and move on. I expect Byrd to pitch 5-6 innings of 2-3 run ball; I hope we can get to Wang and score 4-5.

Am I worried about Borowski, if it comes to that? Who knows - I will immediately ingest 4 shots of Jager and becme unconscious. That's the only way I'll be able to get through a JoeBo save situation.

layups tonight

After my lock of the year falling through last night, I'm back in the saddle tonight for two easy layups.

Buffalo +10.5 (another home dog on Monday Night)
Indians Over 10 - Joba won't be in tonight and Paul Byrd is starting. Hmmmm. 7-5 Indians. Mark it down and go to the bank!!!!

Frank TV

I'm starting to warm up to the idea of Frank TV. At first I was annoyed with him, but all of his impersonations are very good. Madden's love of Favre, Pacino's accent, and even the Robbin Williams bit was pretty funny. There I said it and got it off of my chest. Ahhhh.....


And despite losing every single game on Saturday except for one, I still feel pretty good. Why you ask? Because I made money for the second week in a row off of Rutgers. For those of you at my bachelor party last year, Rutgers cost ALL of us teasers, parlays, and straight bets. It was devastating. And the week before they beat WVU which cost me even more money. So I now look at Rutgers with an evil eye and hope nothing but the worst for them.

NFL Week 5: Newman

"Hear me, and hear me well. The day will come. Oh yes! Mark my words, Eric. Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching."

Well, that was last week for me. A miserable 4-12. It was Black Sunday, where I took a huge hit in my picks - and a sizable monetary blow if gambling was legal. Every time a result flashed on the screen that didn't go my way - like Detroit scring THIRTY FOUR points against the Bears IN THE FOURTH QUARTER - I knew how Jerry felt when he answered his door, opened it and heard:

"Helllllloooooo, Jerry...."

It's like the Grim Reaper. You don't want to have another Newman week.

I'll be golfing in a inter-club event today - with uniforms and personalized hats, too! - so everytime I'll check my pager frequently (like, oh, every two minutes)....

... and I'll have that nagging feeling that Newman is waiting for me with the latest NFL scores.

My day of reckoning came and went, Newman. Let's not have another one this week.

On to the picks:

KC 20, Jax 17 - I don't know who I'm drinking the Cheifs' Kool-aid.

Was 28, Det 17 - I think Washington will be able to move the ball rather well.

NO 31, Car 13. Boy, the Panthers are a mess right now. And David Carr is still there leading them?

NYG 29, NYJ 20 - I should have kept with my first impression - the Jets are way overrated.

Az 20, St L 16 - A clear letdown game for the Cards.

Pit 27, Sea 24. A classic game that should go down to a FG.

Ten 20, Atl 13. Ten should be fine at home - lots of running and time-consuming drives.

Hou 24, Mia 13. Should be a ball-control struggle here.

Ind 27, TB 17. Jeff Garcia will have some success, and TB's D will stop a couple of drives, but Indy should win comfortably.

SF 16, Bal 13. Boy, was I not impressed with Baltimore last week. McNair better snap out of his funk if the Ravens want to go anywhere.

Den 23, SD 20 (OT). The Norv watch is officially on.

GB 24, Chi 10. Favre, Favre, Favre, Favre.....

Dal 27, Buf 20. The Monday Night rule will be tried again.

Best bets: Last week: 4-12; overall: 28-30-6.

KC +2.5

Was -3.5

NO -3.5

NYG -3.5 (ugh! three in a row with this line)

NYG/NYJ Over 41

Sea +6

Sea/Pit over 40

Atl/Ten under 41

Mia -5.5

Mia/Hou Under 43

SF +3.5

SF/Bal Under 35.5

Den PK

GB -3.5

GB/Chi Under 41

Buf +10.5

Line of the day....

...comes from my friend Steve in Cleveland.

When Asdrubal came up ... in the 10th? .... with runners on and a chance to win the game, he shouts:

"Come on Cabrera! This is why we pay you... (pause) ...the league minimum."

What a game!

Yes! The Blue Jackets win tonight, 4-0, behind the excellent goalkeeping of.... .what?

(You don't even know the goalie's name, do you? -ed)

Wow. What a game tonight. That's a game I could NEVER imagine the Tribe of 1995-2001 winning. A 2-1 pitcher's duel.

How many chances did we have? How many breaks went the Yanks' way (like Peralta's shot in the 6th, or Hafner's liner in the 8th - right at Doug M)? Well, wait.... that didn't come out right. Not saying that the Yanks were lucky or anything....

but we tried to give that game away any way possible. From baserunning mistakes to overeager at-bats (see Cabrera, Asdrubal) to the complete opposite of clutch hitting, we had no business winning that game.

But we did. And we owe it to Fausto.

There were people in this lineup that looked completely overmatched tonight in the spotlight - Cabrera, Gutierrez, even Peralta (especailly when he took his time on the Abreu play in the 11th). But Lofton, Sizemore and finally Pronk carried us through.

Perez, as usual, was golden. An a well-needed day off means Perez - who pitched 2 innings today and yesterday - may be ok to go on Sunday. And we still have Betancourt.

I would not mind if we can win this series without seeing Borowski. Please?

Still, a long way to go. Westbrook won't have a stellar outing, but I predict a 5 2/3, 4 ER outing. Will the offense hit vs. Roger to have Westbrook's outing be sufficient? Who knows?

The key, of course, is to make Roger work so that Torre has to pull him in the 5th or 6th. Then we strike. I don't see us getting to Joba in Yankee Staidum, and Mariano was his old self tonight.

The sooner we win the third game, the better. Let's not give them any more chances to get off the mat. We need to win Sunday.

Quick Notes

Shocking: Yes the Indians win was shocking last night. Sabathia was 1-7 with a 7.43 ERA against New York and he pitched fairly well.

Message for Everyone in Cleveland: I'm on the fence about this now, but how much crap do you want to give Lebron for wearing a Yanks hat to the game? Eric says that this is a really big deal because it has to do with "Civic Pride" and it was the on the cover of Yahoo news so it must mean that its a big story. I'm of the opposite belief since what are you going to do? Drive him out of town? If the answer is no, then just drop it. If the answer is yes, then keep it up. Either way I'm sure you won't see Lebron at another playoff game for the Indians the rest of the year.

Lock of the week: Take the Broncos. TAKE THEM NOW!!!! Even with Henry being out. No reason other than media bias that the Chargers should be less than a 3 point favorite.

And why can't I resist in taking the Browns? 16 points is so freaking enticing. I can tease that one up to 3 touchdowns and put it with the Broncos.

And now onto a great email from Lee on a women's post taken off of Craig's List.

What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

And here is the response of one male reader:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

This was too good not to share with everyone.

Game 1 in the books

A 12-3 win. Wow.

In the past, I would be thinking that we were blowing our load here, and a shutout against us is in the making for game 2 tomorrow - but this is the Yankees. No lead is truly safe. I could really, truly relax only at 11-3.

Courgaeous performance by CC. Kept battling and battling, despite the minute (but consistent) strike zone set by Froemming.

Would like to hear Jon's perspective on the non-bunt by Jeter. Does Jeter ever bunt in that situation?

That 5th inning brought all the adrenaline back that has been missing since 2001 - the fear and nausea in the top of the inning, and the wild, 4-year-old girl celebrations in the bottom of the inning ( I think I hurt my hands as I was pounding them on my waist yelling for Blake's double to get down...)

I'm not sure why Wedge elected to use our setup men (Perez and Betancourt) in the game. Do they need work? Why do we give the Yanks a look at them?

It's nice to have 1 in the books - I'll feel a whole lot better if Carmona can come through tomorrow.

And - we have the LeBron controversy. I think it is sickening. It truly has lowered my opinion of him.

Quick Indians post

A couple of things:

1) Who the hell starts a playoff game at 6:30? Well, since I am flying solo this week (with Janice in Paris), I won't be able to watch game 1 (or game 2, for that matter) in peace.

So I am planning to TiVo the game. Please, all of you - no calls. I'll put the kids to bed around 8:30 or 9 or so and then start watching. Everyone will know when I find the final result of the game - phones will be ringing, this blog will have 4-5 more posts.

PS - so do I need to TiVo TBS and TNT? Like a playoff game will be 3 1/2 hours - please. At 10 pm, will TBS stay on the TRibe/Yanks game, or should I TiVo TNT? Argh.

2) I could learn a few parenting tips from Don. We are in the porcess of trying to win the ticket lottery for ALDS, ALCS and WS tickets. I was wondering what do to if I won and the Tribe got to the Series - who would go?

Don: Why not the boys?

Eric: Well, they'd be too young, I think...maybe Freddie... but it would be too late in the night....

Don: No, no, this is a team effort!

Eric: Team effort?

Don: Yeah - you flip the car over.....

the boys can light it on fire.

I like the optimism.

I then complained to Don that we have a global yearly meeting on Oct 31 and Nov 1 in Cincinnati that not only is mandatory, but I am on the organizing committee. Oct 31 and Nov 1 are games 6 and 7 of the WS, if necessary.

So how the hell can I attend and/or celebrate with those meetings?

Don has the perfect solution:

"You can't go to work if you can't post bail...."

Brilliant!

3) Browns-Miami tickets arrived today. Freddie and I are going up next week for the game. We'll see how this goes.

I resemble this....

So yes, back in college I thought that Browns games were a matter of life and death. I would pace around for the whole game muttering, strategizing, and yelling at the TV. Of course, I had no shame, and I did it in our dorm lobby many times.

So it gives me a good laugh to see this video of a Florida undergrad watch the last few moments of the Fla-Auburn game this weekend. You won't be disappointed.

And yes, it reminds me of me 16, 17 years ago...

http://deadspin.com/sports/argh/florida-fan-motto-dignity-always-dignity-306450.php

Comments from a Long Weekend

Went out this weed to Louisville to see Carol and her mom as the family was throwing a party. Carol's mom is not doing well at all and they were throwing a party to gather family and friends for one last time. When it is my time to go (hopefully I will have some notice) I would like the same thing. Very nice and touching for the family and Carol's mom. I'm really glad I went out there even though it was for 36 hours.

Southwest

• Another Friday at the OC Airport, another delay. Two hour delay that almost had me miss my connection to Louisville. Here is the difference between Southwest and United. While we were being delayed, the CS agent was in constant contact with about 6 people who were connecting in Vegas. They allowed us to pre-board so we would all be at the front of the plane. When we landed in Vegas, there was an agent there that said the connecting flights were holding for us and not to worry. Very nice.
• Weird trip though. On the way to Vegas I sat next to an older guy who was going out there to meet up with one of his buddies. Very talkative man, who invited me to hang out with him and his friend at the Mirage if I was to miss my flight. Very nice. He ended up leaving me a message on my phone just to make sure. By the way, he was married and had 4 kids.
• On the trip from Vegas to Louisville I sat next to two guys who were also very talkative. Ended up talking to the one guy for about 2.5 hours about a bunch of random shit. Maybe I will change my stance of no talking no eye contact on flights.
• Received another $150 voucher from United, now totalling $450 for their miscue from the other month. Not too sure what I'm going to do.

River Boat

• Took Nana, the 90 year old lady at my wedding, to Caesar's riverboat. She is hardcore. Sit her down at the video poker machine and she is good to go for 5 hours solid. So when her grand daughters told her that it was time to leave after only 1 hour, she flipped her shit. "Why even come? I would of just stayed home if I knew it was going to be like this." Molly told her that she would take her during the week and she yelled at her that it would have to be for the entire day. I jumped in and backed her up and said next time I'm in town Nana and I would get a hotel room at Caesars and stay there for the weekend. Her response? "See he knows what I'm talking about."
• Had the best craps dealer at Caesars. Nice and on the ball. Packed table with alot of action. Never had to repeat myself, knew when to double up on my craps after the first time I told him how I wanted it, and was super quick. Dealers this good usually gets annoyed with newbies, but was just as courteous to Carol's brother who was just learning. I ended up tipping him abut $25.
• Is it rude to suggest to one of your friends, or in this case your brother in law, that you should tip? Carol's brother just made about $250 and he was about to walk away from the table and I mentioned to him that he should leave something for the dealers. Same guy didn't tip the drink girl either until I told him to do so. To his credit he did chase down the drink girl and left a couple of bucks for the dealer.
• Things you never want to hear from your brother in law. "I don't know what it is but I never win when I gamble. Is here room next to you for me to slip in?" Uh.....no??
• Its great to see a 60 year old bum roll dice like a 5 year old. Shakes the dice in his hand for 10 seconds, and then whips them down the other end like he was The Eck taking out everything in his way.

Black Saturday/Sunday

• I got destroyed on Saturday, with my only win being the terps. My Pac 10 "Jimmy the Greek" Austin went 0fer which hurt.
• Sunday was better for me, but destroyed Eric. It was going so bad for Eric, I ended up going with the Giants since he went with the Eagles. Let's see if the Leland opposite pick strategy works with Eric.
• How many favorites won this weekend?
• Am I the only one that loves those Coors Light commercials with the coaches in the press conference? They were who we thought they were. Then why did you let them leave with the Coors Light?

NFL Picks Week 4: Jack Klompus

This week reminds me of the classic Seinfeld episode with the Astronaut pen.

There are so many road favorites - or, in other words, home underdogs - that Vegas is begging you to take the points. This is a big rule of mine...home underdogs usually do well.

Just substitute "points" for "pen" in the dialogue below and you have my reasoning for this week.

TAKE THE PEN!


JERRY: What kind of pen is that?

JACK: This pen?

JERRY: Yeah.

JACK: This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.

JERRY: Wow! That's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?

JACK: Oh it was a gift.

JERRY: Cause sometimes I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the
pen works.

JACK: Take the pen.

JERRY: Oh no.

JACK: Go ahead.

JERRY: I couldn't

JACK: Come on, take the pen!

JERRY: I can't take it.

JACK: Do me a personal favor!

JERRY: No, I'm not...

JACK: Take the pen!

JERRY: I cannot take it!

JACK: Take the pen!

JERRY: Are you sure?

JACK: Positive! Take the pen!

JERRY: O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy!

Gee boy, will we get into as much trouble for these picks as Jerry did for taking the pen? We shall see.

Oak 24, Mia 21. I like what Kiffin is doing with this team. Not sure if we can trust Miami with anything yet.

Hou 20, Atl 13. I think at the end of the season we will look back on this and wonder why this line is so low (when Hou is 10-6, and Atl is 2-14).

Chi 23, Det 17. I know, I know...going against my home underdog principle here. But Griese will be an improvement.

GB 16, Min 13. Another road favorite. Yikes. But how will Minnesota score?

Dal 28, StL 20. No, I don't think St Lou will be in this game - but they will make it closer in the end.

NYJ 20, Buf 13. Again, I'm taking the visitor. Can we really trust the Jets?

TB 24, Car 21. I am impressed with the Bucs.

SF 27, Sea 24. I think the 49ers will pull this out at home.

Pit 30, Az 17. At this point, how can you not predict this? Pit is firing on all cylinders right now.

SD 20, KC 17. Much closer than people think.

Ind 31, Den 13. Denver is wayyyy overrated.

Phi 27, NYG 20. Can the eagles keep the momentum going? I say yes. McNabb should be able to work the Giants' non-existent D.

NE 31, Cin 27. A Monday Night classic. back and forth. NE will win in the end (and then be tired and overlook next week's opponent.....)

Best bets for week 4: (last week: officially, I was 7-5-4. Season total: 24-18-6.)

Oak +3.5
Hou -3
Hou/Atl Under 39.5
Chi -3
GB/Min under 38
StL +13
NYJ -3.5 (that hook worries me....)
TB +3
TB/Car over 39.5
SF +2
Sea/SF over 40.5
Pit -6
KC +11.5
Ind -10 (changed from 9.5 to 10 overnight....)
Phi -2.5
Cin +7.5

Caption Contest

Does it get any easier than this?

Hoo boy, we have a problem

So I'm feeling better now, and am starting to get excited over the Tribe's first playoff series since 2001. Here's a weird fact - the Browns made the playoffs more recently than the Indians. Wow.

Anyway, we may have a problem here. The way things are heading, we coul dbe in line for the best record in the AL. If so, we would play New York - the probable wild card. That's good and bad news.

The good news - if we play NY - is that the game times would be set. There's no way that the Yanks would NOT be on prime time. So - let's say we have a choice - Wed's and Thu's games would be at 8 pm; an off day Friday, then game 3 would be Sat night in New York, starting around 8 pm.

Saturday night...........October 6......uh oh, Janice's birthday. Janice is taking a trip to France that week and will be back Friday - and we already have plans for dinner that Saturday.

Hmmmmmmmm----- does BW-3 take reservations for a quiet, romantic table near a TV for that night?

I remember doing this in the past - I believe it was 1999, and we had playhouse tickets; I taped the game but couldn't stand the suspense so I caught an update in the car - and was not pleased with the results.

We're going to have to do some creative planning to accomodate this scenario. Stay tuned.

(Am I scared of the Yanks? Well, yes and no. That 0-6 record concerns me, but only one of those games was against CC or Carmona. So we will win our share.......but the sight of Joe Borowski (who, by the way, blew a save last night) vs. the Yanks with a lead in the 9th does concern me a bit. Might want to have a bottle of SoCo handy for that.)

Yes, I'd rather have Boston than New York for the first series, but we'll have to go through the Yanks at some point.....and maybe the law of averages will kick in and we will win 3 straight vs. the Yanks.

I bitched and moaned at Derek preceding last week's Browns' game that "no one wants us to win". No one in the media wanted the Browns to win to be 2-1. It would be too much of a soul-search for those so-called experts to accept that. Derek said I was making stuff up and reading waaaaay too much into some comments, and he was probably right.

But - who the hell does 99% of the media want to see in the ALCS? My God, everyone would want NY-Boston III in the 2007 ALCS. No one will want to see the Tribe (or, for that matter, the Angels) win a series. No one. It's us against the world here.

recap

Today was such a weird day in gambling. So many backdoor covers for pushes that it sent Eric into a tizzy. Some other lowlights and highlights.

• Had the moneyline with the Browns. Blocked FG. I did win a nice tease with the Colts, Pats, and the Browns as well as a straight bet on the Browns so its not so bad.
• Got killed on the Skins-Giants game. I made the bet late so I took the over at 41.5 instead of the earlier line at 41. 24-17 with the Skins on the 2 yard line. How the fuck to you screw up that goaline play???? Ugh.
• And where was Gibbs calming down Campbell. The only thing making me feel a little bit better about that game was that they were lucky to even get to the goaline.
• SD- I knew that this might happen. SD is the team that will be over-rated for the next several weeks. They are terrible.
• Its nice to see the Broncos exposed. WOW

I should be happier...

but it will take a bit for the Browns' loss to wear off.

I'll post later about the Tribe after I can see clearly...it may not be until Tuesday morning, however.

Random Shit

Out of commission for the last couple of days due to eating some pretty nasty steak. Note to self, when you get a nice steak that has blackened blue cheese crusted on it, it only has a shelf life of about 24 hours. I had a slice about 72 hours later and it has knocked me out. I will say that my stomach has handled it fairly well as it has shut itself down. There seems to be a "Please remain seated and keep your seatbelts on" sign illuminated in my colon. So I have been trippling up on my fiber and I feel very very strange. With that all being said, I have been laid up in bed since Friday night which has allowed me to do a lot of thinking about many things:

• Being in bed all day during a Saturday with a laptop and a gambling problem is a terrible thing. I had a fever when wagering on a 6 team teaser. WTF!!!! At least I had an excuse unlike Eric. I got a call from him on Saturday asking me who I liked more. San Jose St. or Utah St. Ugh.
• I'm restricting myself to only wagering on the Pac 10. No more Big Ten. Fuck Penn St.
• Bold prediction that I made to Eric yesterday: West Virginia vs Oklahoma for the national championship. LSU and Florida will knock each other off and USC will have too hard of a road schedule.
• And poor Terps. How do you not even cover?
• Can we all agree that Spencer from "The Hills" creates such wide range of emotions for guys. He is a complete jerk but yet I have a lot of respect for him since he is able to be that way while still holding down his girlfriend. Does he even have a job?
• Watching a HBO documentary on the Yanks vs Diamondbacks series and the impact of 9/11 on the series. Scott Brosius made a comment of "If there was ever a time that New York deserved the world series it was this year since they went through so much." And the picture that they had up when he was talking about that was an AZ fan with a "Go Home Yankee" poster. Nice.
• And can we please stop having women comment on sports. Ugh. "I didn't wear any purple and green for months" was a lady's reaction to the Yankees losing.
• Warning: Girls Gone Wild has hired some Real World cast members to video tape shit. Sirus, Tanya, the one hot girl from San Diego, and the dude who got his face bashed in are filming now. Yes this is what you learn when you wake up at 3:00am on Sunday morning.
• I'm done betting on teams with bad QBs on the road, no matter who they are playing. Vikings vs KC seems so enticing to me, but I can't handle cheering for Bollinger to drive his team 80 yards for the win. NO more.

One more....

NFL Week 3: Sidra

You can see this one coming a mile away, huh?

Now is the time of the season where we start asking: "Are they for real?"

Is Detroit for real, or are they fake? What about the 49ers? The Texans?

They all look as good as Sidra here right now....

and, of course, what will we be saying about some of the teams?

"Yes, they are real.... and they are FANTASTIC!"

On to the picks:

NE 31, Buf 10: Can the Pats be stopped? (Answer: Yes, in two weeks...)

Min 17, KC 13. I just don't see KC scoring many points against this defense.

Indy 23, Hou 21. Should be close when the Colts are on the road, where they have struggled.

GB 23, SD 20. I think GB's defense will contain LT...which puts pressure on the non-existant SD WR's.

Bal 20, Az 13. A copy of last week's game?

TB 23, StL 16. If StL can't score more than 16-17 in a dome, how will they do it outside vs. a defense that is underrated?

Pit 20, SF 10. This game should be over at 3:35 EDT. Ball control galore.

Phi 24, Det 14. Look, this is the Eagles' last stand. The defense will come after Kitna. DEtroit has no running game whatsoever. And teh Eagles will rally (this week) around Donovan.

Mia 17, NYJ 16. Maybe the Dolphins are a little more impressive and better than we thought. Taking the Skins to OT the first week? Hanging with the Cowboys (a bit) last week?

Sea 31, Cin 21. I have Hasselbeck starting this week.

Den 16, Jax 13. I have no clue about this game. None.

Car 20, Atl 10. Why I didn't bet the under in the two previous Atlanta game, I don't know....

Was 31, NYG 17. I am ocncerned about a Monday night hangover for the Skins, but the home crowd should help.

Chi 24, Dal 19. I think Romo will throw 2-3 interceptions.

NO 24, Ten 23. A last-second field goal (aided by a controversial penatly) will save the Saints.

Best bets: (Last week: 6-9-1. Overall: 17-13-2).

NE -16 (ugh)

Min +3
Hou +6

GB +5.5

TB -4

SF/Pit under 38

Phi -6

Det/Phi Under 44

Mia +3

Sea -3

Jax/Den Under 35 1/2

Car -3.5

Car/Atl Under 37

Was -3.5

Was/NYG Over 41

Ten +4

6 favorites, 5 dogs, 1 over, 4 unders....

Oh?

Cle 24, Oak 21. We have to win. We can win. So let's go out and do it. It's Luke McCown, for God's sake!

Iowa Casino Stories

Back from a 3 day trip to Iowa, which included a trip (or trips?) to the local casino in Iowa City, which is about 15 minutes south of town. Again, I thank God that this was built and opened after we moved away from Iowa, or else I would have become one of those creepy regulars that pop in at 10 pm and stay til about 2 am, 3 nights a week.

Some of the weird stories from the trip:
- Played craps with a college guy with 1) a Chief Wahoo hat AND 2) A Jeff Garcia Browns jersey. No, that was not mine that I gave to the Iowa City Goodwill store in 2005. (I still have mine somewhere).

- Blackjack stories: It amazes me the stupidity of players at the $5 blackjack table. A couple was at our table and made the following moves:
1) he had 17 vs the dealer 8; he hit. (Apparently, before we got to the table, he had 17 against a 5 and hit as well.
2) he had 12 against a 5 and hit; he received a 2 for a total of 14; he decided that was enough and stayed on 14.
3) he had soft 18 vs. a 6; I would have doubled; he did not. Of course, my friend who came with me had $60 on the hand; the dealer ended up with 20 for a loss at the table; if the player at the end would have doubled instead of stayed, the dealer would have busted.

I'm only imagining what Derek would have threw at the player after that display.

- Craps stories: So I arrive at a craps table, and the action is a bit stalled as an old man pulls out $90 or so, betting on the "hops" for the 8. (A hop bet is a one-roll bet on the exact roll of the dice; he is putting $30 each on the 6-2, 5-3 and 4-4.)
He's doing this each roll - each roll! - and losing every one. The roller is rolling numbers (6, 4, 10, ...) but not the eight. He lost at least $1500 when I was there.
- So while this was going on, there was another college kid at the table who was clearly annoyed at the delays in the action with this guy and the hop bets. He wanted this to stop, and stop quickly. In addition, the guy who was making the hop bets was rolling - so the action slowed down even more.
The point was 5, and I have some money on the pass line with odds. Well, this was no matter for the kid. He wanted the dice to move so badly, that he did the unthinkable....
"$1 for the dealers on Any Seven".
He's betting for the dealers on a 7!

The next roll: 5! Winner!

Oh, I did my best Derek impression... I looked right at him. "FIVE! WINNNNNNNNNER, FIVE!" He was not amused; I was.

We're almost there....

Unthinkable: A sweep!

The keys to the division...

Who put a lake in the middle of the Mohavi

I apologize for the interuption of the Browns/Indians blog for the following rant:

1. Last night I was running late at work and wanted to place a wager on the Eagles. I called Eric, but he was at the airport. I called Lee and he was driving, so I was a little pissed I couldn't get my bet in. Lee asked who I liked and I told him the Eagles were a layup. He started to laugh since he also thought that the Eagles were a layup and its best that I didn't get the bet in. Well as you all know, the Eagles lost and I saved some money thanks to Lee. From here on out my wagering protocol will involve a quick call to Lee on Saturdays to see who he likes and then go the opposite.

2. I'm not usually the type of person to make this statement, but it is odd that Godell doesn't suspend a white coach for cheating and blatantly ignoring his orders to stop video taping, but yet he suspends the black players like Vick, Pacman, and Tank. If Jesse Jackson comes in and says that this is a racial thing, how can you say it is not? Keep up the bad work Godell.

3. Was at Lake Havesau this weekend with Carol and her friends. Excellent time. When I told my mom I was heading out there, her first words were "Wasn't that where they film Girls Gone Wild?" Umm..yes it is mom, but how the hell do you know this? Some highlights from the trip:

• One of Carol's friends made an excellent comment that was dead on about the people at the bars and the lake. "This is where fat men come to get laid." It was so bad that I think I was one of the skinnier people at the lake.
• Fucking HOT!!! Why was I surprised that it was 105 degrees?
• We played Drinking Jenga. Wow, I missed that game. It was pretty funny that out of the 6 of us that were playing, only myself and one other guy knew how to properly complete a "Waterfall". Its not a good waterfall unless the last couple of guys are bitching and complaining that they had to drink too much.
• Had to pay an extra $110 for a new engine prop since we anchored the boat in a sandbar by using the engine. This is what happens when everyone is on their 11th-12th beer.
• Its funny hanging out with a bunch of Charger fans. Their hatred for the Pats is real and too bad its only one sided. Is there anything worse that having a one sided rivalry because the other team is too good or they just don't car. It used to happen to the Terps and the NC schools until we became decent. And they also hate Norv. They all called that they would get killed against the Pats because Norv wouldn't have the team ready.
• Once again, is there anything better than a late morning/early afternoon buzz? My body is still trying to recover from being drunk on Friday night, all day Saturday, and at 10:00am on Sunday.
• Made a terrible decision on the way home from the lake on Sunday. Carol and I saw a sign for Laughlin (Nevada town just a little smaller than Reno that has some nice casinos), but it didn't have any mileage. Carol and I were up for some gambling, but I was worried that it would of been too far. Check the distance this morning and it was only 20 miles off the highway. FUCK! Would of made it a perfect weekend.
• Never let two women plan meeting places for road trips. On the way back I had to drop Carol off to get her car down in San Diego. Now why would they do this as I had to pass the house on the way down to get her car. Didn't either of the two women figure that this would be an issue on Sunday? I guess not. Nothing like adding on an additional 2 hours and 120 miles to the car.

So, for the encore....

October 12, 2003.

What were you doing then?

Warren, our youngest son, was not baptized yet. We still lived in Cincinnati - and planning to move to Iowa.

Howard Dean was the frontrunner for the Democratic Presidential nomination.

We were two weeks away from Aaron *(*#@^%^ Boone.

And that was the last time the Browns have won two games in a row.

Look, the game this weekend was wonderful. It was a culmination of an offense that we dreamed of having - but a realistic dream given our acquistions. When you sit back in the offseason and play the "if" game...

if we get good offensive line play, THEN
Jamal will have holes which will then force the D to play the run
AND then that will open up the field for KW II and Braylon
SO if we get some good QB...well, this could be a top 10 offense!

Well, for one week, it came true.

Now, the big test. Can we put it together for two weeks in a row?

That's why this week is so big for us. The Browns over the past few years would play at a high level - then revert back to the inept Browns for two, three weeks. They have been complete teases.

This offense has me excited long term. No, of course we are not going to score 50 every game. But why not 20-28 a game? If we do that, that's good for a solid 6-7 wins. Defense still has questions, and I hope we can play better on that side of the ball. But, in fairness:
- this was the Bengals, home of so many offensive talents, and
- we gave the Steelers 17 points week 1, so the 34-7 loss was not as bad as it seems defensively.

People are starting to notice what weapons we have offensively. We saw what an offensive running at 100% the whole game can do. Now, if Romeo can only get that offense to perform at 70% of that level consistently, then we may have something here.

But is this a one-week tease? Or can we string two good performances in a row? That's why this game is huge.

Just think if Oakland would have won Sunday vs. Denver. If that occured, that would have mean that the winner of this game would be 2-1.

Let's hope the winner of this game will be 2-1. It's a big big big big test for this team. String it together, boys.

Casey at the bat!

What a weekend

Well, it would have been a lot better had the BP not melted down on Friday, or Papi got a hit tonight - but....

First... TapeGate.

I think BB should have been suspended for 1 game. Not for the SD game but for next week. And the suspension would have to be that he would need to be away from the facility for the entire week. Just like guys that fail the drug test, they are banned from the facility while serving their suspension, BB should have had the same penalty. I think if the commish had granted the fines, taken the pick AND suspended BB 1 game, that would have been a very fair punishment. Overall, without the suspension it was a little light for someone who was trying to "make a statement".

Now, the one thing that is sickening, is to hear the Steelers *STILL* FREAKING bellyaching about the TWO AFCC loses. The Bus was crying on NBC saying that they made big plays against the Steelers and that was probably due to them having their signals. Well, whatever Bus. YOUR TEAM choked away THREE HOME AFCC. Big Ben threw that horrendous pick to Rodney Harrison, YOUR TEAM failed to tackle Troy Brown on the punt return (and Cordell threw 3 INTS), but hey you should have went to the SB, it must have been the audio. Shut the hell up.

BTW, not mentioned in TapeGate at all was that the Dolphins admitted to doing this a couple of years ago. Zach Thomas admitted after the game (a MIA win), that they had audio of Tom Brady's audibles and used that to counter his line calls. So, other teams have done it in the past. It doesn't make what they did right, but it isn't like this is the only reason NE has won football games over the last few years. Let's not go crazy.

Um, this current Pats team is loaded. LOADED. And I'm sure all Skins fans were shocked, SHOCKED that Norv Turner's team choked and looked completely unprepared going into a big game. That never happened right!?!??!? Ha! Man, he is terrible. But, adding Moss has really added a new dimension to this offense. They now have some speed and playmakers on the outside that a defense really needs to respect. I think once they get Harrison back, the D will look even better (who really should thank BB or taking all the heat off of him - mr. HGH!).

Now, the Yankees... Ugh. That 8th inning on Friday was ridiculous. The Jeter AB tonight was so damn predictable. Sheesh. I guess, if there are any positives to take away from the weekend series is that the Sox still hit Pettitte and Wang pretty hard, Beckett finally pitched a dominating game against the lineup, and Gange had two consecutive scoreless outings (no small miracle and a guy they will REALLY need since Okajima is completely toast right now - ERA over 4 since the break).

I am not just saying this because Eric posts on this Blog. Right now, I really fear the Indians in the first round. With the new format they can have Carmona and CC throw 4 of the 5 games on normal rest, with probably Byrd in the other game (who has great numbers against the RS). Should be interesting.

BTW, when was the last time a QB threw for 400+ yards *SIX* TDs and lost???? What a crazy game. At least Eric will go to work smiling tomorrow.

My thoughts on the game?

I'm verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves, please.

Random Album Cover by t23

Oh, the Browns prediction?

Like I'm supposed to predict what this team is going to do now. It's safe to say that last week's debacle had me completely stunned. How in the hell can we go out, get all this "talent", and look like that? 17-0 in the first quarter? Giving up in the 3rd? The Charlie Frye mishandling?

(I mean, how does that happen? You have an "open" QB competition - your supposed winner is Charlie Frye - and that's it? One bad quarter and you are done for? What kind of competition was that? It's like having two putters, practicing through April with both, making a decision before your first tournament -
and then 3 putting the frst two holes; you then break the putter over your knee and putt with your 3-iron the rest of the way)

I want to believe that this team is embarassed after last week's loss, but how can I take that to the bank? Romeo is such an awful coach....how does he not get the team up for the game last week?

So I'd like to say 23-20 Browns, but I feel it will be 31-14 Bengals. And I hope Brady is in in the 2nd half.

NFL Week 2: Estelle Costanza

George's Mom, Estelle, is the walking definition of the word overreaction. How many times during the series do we hear Estelle say "OH MY GOD" to George's (and his father's) antics?

So what if Frank and Kramer are trying on manssiers behind closed doors? So what if George is "treating his body like an amusement park"? No need for hysterics, like Estelle.

Well, after week 1's results, it seems like a lot of prognoticators and experts are turning into Estelle's. They overreact a loss (or, in some cases, a win) and swing wildly that way for week 2. (You want overreaction? Try watching a Browns game with you, Eric. -ed).

Well, yes, I plead guilty to that, too. Anyone who tries to talk to me during a Browns game will understand this.

Anyway, the trick here is to figure out the overreactions and go the other way. Here we go:

Indy 27, Ten 17. Let's not king the Titans the champs of the AFC South just yet. The Colts can stop the run, and that's ALL the Titans did against Jax.

SF 23, StL 20, OT: A gut choice here; Janice made me a sausage and cheese omelet this morning, so my gut is feeling pretty good.

NYG 19, GB 13. Yes, the Giants secondary is weak, but who are they facing this week? Favre - Mr. Inconsistent - Donald Driver, and a cast of castoff receivers. I think the Giants D will be OK here.

NO 28, TB 17. I think Tampa is awful; New Orleans shoul dbe ready to exact revenge. They lost to the best team in football, ok? The Saints didn't lose to the Browns or anything.

Jax 20, Atl 10. I'm running away from this game. No clue who will show up.

Pit 20, Buf 14. OK, let's dissect last week's disaster. People are really overreacting here to Pittsburgh, believeing what they want to believe ("Look, the Steel Curtain is back!" "Big Ben is back to his rookie year performance).

The truth is they did not dominate us in that game.

(uh, hello? Did you watch it?)

Well, OK, but we didn't get manhandled.

(Not in the 2nd half, but the 1st half?)

All right, all right.... we were dominated, but we handed them 17 points on a platter.

(That's better.)

We gave them 17 points in the 1st quarter. They did not score on drives that started in their own territory. This is not to prop up the Browns, but let's not crown the Steelers, either. This will be a struggle - Pit will win, but it will be close.

Car 16, Hou 14 - Bet on the under on both of these until proven otherwise.

Dal 23, Mia 13 - I just can't see the Dolphins being in this.

Arizona 27, Seattle 24 (OT) - A wild NFC West Shootout. People are writing the Cards off after one bad game. They will come out pumped for their home opener.

Det 24, Min 17. People, it was Atlanta. Joey gave them 2 TDs. Minny's D is good - but not 85 Bears good. Harrington will make teams look like that.

Den 27, Oak 10. If Buffalo can stay with Pittsburgh in the 1:00 game, then this is a lock. However, if Pittsburgh destroys Buffalo, then Denver isn't that good and Oakland may keep it close. (and how about that overrated Oakland defense, Derek?)

Chicago 24, Kansas City 8 - Nuff said.

Bal 23, NYJ 10 - Turnovers on both sides may allow the over to hit, but I ain't biting.

NE 31, SD 27 - I don't think cheater-gate will affect NE. Should be a classic.

Phil 27, Was 16. Again, let's not sell Philly just yet. They faced a good - above average - GB defense.

Best bets:

last week: 11-4-1 (Derek: 6-8-2)

Ind -7

SF +3

NYG -2.5

GB/NYG Under 38

NO -3.5

Buf +10

Hou +6.5

Car/Hou under 38

Dal -3.5

Az +3

Az/Sea over 42 1/2

Det -3

Den -9 1/2

Chi -12

NE/SD Over 46 1/2

Phi -7

8 favorites (yikes), 4 dogs, 2 overs, 2 unders. Would have liked to have more dogs in there.....

May 29, 1994 - Sep 13, 2007 RIP

It's sad when a TV dies. You just can't believe it. How could it be so soon? But then you realize it was over 13 years old. It only has one input in the back. It was time for it to go.

Ah, the memories for that TV. It started out as Janice's - and showed E.R. every Thursday night (when that was THE biggest show on TV). Then we had it together, and watched key sporting moments like:
- God's HR in the bottom of the 11th (Tony Fernandez, actually) to help win Game 6 of the 1997 ALCS....
- Joe Juneau's goal at 6:24 of overtime in Game 6 to send the Caps to the Stanley Cup Finals (top right corner, over Hasek's shoulder. I remember that like it was in slow motion).
- Phil Dawson running onto the field to kick a 36-yarder as time expired to beat Pittsurgh on the road in 1999
- 9 straight episodes of Next on MTV when I had the stomach flu in 2005 (is that really necessary? -ed) Yes!

Oh well....TV Shopping tomorrow....

The "Royals" are defeated

Yo!

Futbol!

With Eric in Mexico.....

Wow, that didn't take long. Frye is gone to Seattle. Good. It seems as if Savage saw that his job was on the line and he did the only logical thing. Why else would there be such a knee jerk reaction like this? I know Don put the over/under on Quinn at the bye week, but I also think that this will be when Romeo is gone as well. I can't see Savage allowing Quinn to start under Romeo's regime.

And what the heck is going on with the Pats. Cheating? I'm still a little confused on how a guy with a camera during the game can figure out anything? I always assumed that teams were using scanners to pick up the play calling, but I'm still confused on the use of a camera.

Skins: The door might be open for them this year in the East. I don't think that the Eagles are that bad, but if they are I think the Skins have a shot at the division. Giants are really bad, and the Cowboys, while winning still looked terrible on defense. Why didn't I pick them as my sleeper?

Why isn't it obvious to always take the team playing against the Ravens at home during primetime. When is the last time they won a primetime game on the road. And what terrible play calling from Belick. Pass plays on the goaline? And forget about the bad call on Heep, they had another 4 plays to get it in after the make up call. I can't wait to hear what he has to say about it.

And yes I watched the entire snooze fest that was the Niners vs. Cards. Either both teams defense will be in the top 5 this year or they are both pathetic. So happy I have Leinhart as my starting Q in one of my leagues.

Will the Browns score 13 in a game this year?

Notes from my last day as a Browns Fan

Things I learned this past Sunday…

Charlie is a below average QB (that performance was notable for its lack of anything positive, I think he wasn’t actually running around looking for someone to sack him)

Crennel has, at most, 15 games left as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns (Coach Romeo Crennel said he had "no explanation" for what happened… let me start with the top 5, which doesn’t get us out of the 1st quarter).

The over/under on Quinn’s first start is the bye week.

I thought 8-8 was a stretch, 6-10 is looking beyond reach.

Eric is insane. 1) He thought with a little bit of luck, the Browns could go 10-6. 2) I was on the phone with him when Cleveland scored to make it 24-6 and he is screaming, top of lungs to anyone that will listen screaming, that we should go for 2, and if we don’t we aren’t trying to win the game. (note, I don’t blame him for this, anyone will go insane watching this team)

My Sunday afternoons are free again to pursue other activities. I refuse to watch any more of this franchise until they are 0.500.

I’m glad Green Bay won. Go Pack.

Quick Notes from the games yesterday

Took some notes while watching the games in a Browns Backer Bar. Yes, it was me and about 25 Browns fans. Boy I felt sorry for those guys.

1. At the beginning of the Browns game, I was agreeing with Don that they made the right move not to start Quinn since the line could not protect Frye. But after a while, I saw that all the sacks were basically caused by Frye and not the line. I'm glad they pulled Frye for Anderson, but jeez, things didn't get much better. The line is fine. Start Quinn. You are looking at a 2-3 win season anyway, why not get him in there.

2a. Yes, I drank the Browns coolaid and made a very bad decision on betting on the Browns. Ugh.

2b. In the middle of the 1st quarter a Browns fan yelled "Put Nascar on, I'm done watching this crap." Nice.

3. With all my problems with the internet at work, Wiz called me on Saturday to tell me that he is not allowed to text anyone since the SEC doesn't have any oversight on Text messages. Pretty interesting.

4. Was I the only one that was excited and getting sick at the same time while watching those Oreo Pizza commercials from Domino's.

5. Is there anything more fun than wagering on the over? I love rooting for points. From either team. Not only is it fun, it confuses the hell out of everyone else why I'm clapping when both teams score.

6. I was drunk by 11:00am yesterday. Was out on Saturday night with Carol and her friends and was a little hung over the next morning, and then started it off with a cup of coffee and protein shake and right into a Boddingtons. Took care of that hangover real quick.

7. Sportsguy called it for KC. That kicker sucks!!!

8. Did Maryland win? I heard it was close but I don't know what the final score was?

No particular reason

"There are four fouls on the kicking team on the play...."

When those are the words out of the referree's mouth on the first punt of the 2007 season....

well, this season is probably a train wreck.

I'm just sick.

(But a 9-4-1 day so far is helping.)

The only bright spot this afternoon

Sweet 16

NFL Week 1: Uncle Leo

Hellllloooooooo Jerry!

Week 1 in the NFL is like Uncle Leo from Seinfeld. Everyone is happy to see him, he is very inviting....but you know he has something up his sleeve.

After studying these games, there are a few games that are "Uncle Leo" games - games he is beggin you to take - and it makes sense! - but you have this feeling that there is a catch and you aren't sure what you are getting into.

Picks for week 1:

New England 28, New York Jets 20 - Uncle Leo game 1. I think Mangini will keep them close.

Seattle 24, Tampa 13 - I agree that Tampa will be awful this year.

SD 23, Chicago 20 - Uncle Leo game #2. People, this is Norv Turner coaching. There's going to be some head scratching decisions during the game.

Jacksonville 20, Tennessee 10 - It will take a while for Garrard to get comfortable.

Houston 20, Kansas City 6 - Yikes.

St Louis 19, Carolina 16. Have no feel in this one.

Green Bay 27, Philly 24 - Game of the week, no question, right here.

Washington 20, Miami 10. Trent Green? No.

Atlanta 20, Minnesota 16. Uncle Leo game #3. You're telling me you are going to put money on Tavaris Jackson? (um, aren't you putting money on Joey Harrington? -ed) Touche.

Buffalo 20, Denver 19. Uncle Leo game #4. I was not impressed with Denver in the preseason.

Detroit 20, Oakland 10. How in the hell is Oakland favored??

Dallas 27, NY Giants 17. This could be Uncle Leo game #5. Too many people are burying the Giants, and it scares me.

Cincinnati 23, Baltimore 17. Cinci - at home - Monday night - will find a way to win.

San Fran 24, Arizona 20. I think the Cards will keep this close.

And of course:

Cleveland 20, Pittsburgh 17. This is Uncle Leo game 5. If I was a neutral player, I'd be sooooo scared of this game. Something is wrong here - Vegas is begging you to take the Steelers.

Picks of the week: 16 of them (I had 17, but changed the final score of the Atl/Min game to get to 16. I origianlly picked that under.....)

NE/NYJ Over 40 1/2

Sea -6

Chi +6

Ten/Jax Under 37 1/2

Hou -3

Hou/KC Under 37 1/2

Car/StL Under 42

GB +3

GB/Phi Over 42 1/2

Was -3

Cin -2.5

Atl +3

Buf +3

Det +2.5

Det/Oak Under 39 1/2

Dal -6

5 favorites, 5 underdogs........2 overs, 4 unders. A pretty good balance.

If this doesn't get you pumped up for football...

...then you have no soul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vMA22xJEcQ

As Deadspin said, if you can watch this and then the first words out of your mouth NOT be:
"You're looking LIVE at Soldier Field...." then you have more mental toughness than I.

Personally, I am an "NFL Live '87" NBC pregame show guy myself, as NBC had the rights to the AFC back then. (Geesh - are there readers on the blog who are too young to know this? I hope not. You know kiddies, there was a time when FOX had no football on. Yes!) I hope to have an NFL Live clip up with Bob Costas and Pete Axtelm soon....

NFL Season...it's here!

Well, I'm just about fired up for the season. I can't wait until Sunday to see the 2007 version of the Browns. I have a feeling I will be drunk with giddiness after the win..... or drunk with despair after a 20 point loss. I don't see a middle ground.

Team predictions will be coming up soon later tonight, and our weekly feature will return - NFL Picks every week! As you know, I'm working on three years in a row now with the picks beating Vegas - not just over .500, but beating the Juice.

Last year, each week had a theme from a Pricing (or is it Price-in?) game from the Price is Right. This year?

The weekly theme will be minor characters from Seinfeld.

No pick for tonight.....I predict a 31-24 win by the Colts, too close to the number and the total to wager on.

Hello from United Hell

Its nice to see that Eric can google for images and play with clipart. A couple of quick notes from Ohio.

1. Fuck United. I'm calling my congressman tomorrow to push this draft. Don are you with me!!!!!! And yes I have no one else to blame for this except for myself. On Friday, Carol and I sat in the OC airport because the plane before us had mechanical problems and they took our plane. So they were trying to repair our plane (the one that was broken), but they didn't have any mechanics. So they have to get them from LA, but is rush hour on labor day weekend. Ugh. So 8 hours later, the plane takes off and we land at 3:00am at O'Hare. Our flight to Dayton doesn't leave until 6:00am, so once again I end up sleeping in O'Hare. On the way back home I end up spending 45 minutes on the tarmak at the OC airport since United can't get their act together and have an open gate. This letter that I'm writing is going to be classic.
2. New Albany Golf Course- By far this was the nicest course I've ever seen. Took a huge dump in the men's locker room and it was amazing. TVs, card tables, dry cleaner, and I think I even saw a popcorn machine in there.
3. Caddying- Man I love it. I take pride in my work as a caddy. I see some of the guys just struggling along and it pisses me off. But at this tournament, I came upon the king of all caddies. Knew all the rules, all of the pin placements, took the pin out first almost every single hole, and had an eye of an eagle in locating balls. He called out Eric for hitting out of turn, and we almost came to blows by the 4th hole. Eric was telling me "I don't want to know anything more than "Eric its all taken care of"". What a prick.
4. Eric's Golfing Ability- Yes Eric shot an 84 but it was an exciting 84. Those pin placements were impossible and he hung in there for most of the day. Shooting an 84 with having to use his highbred club on every approach shot is very impressive. All he needs to do is workout a little bit to gain some distance on his driver and he would be in it since his short game is second to none.

The Tribe: Fun for Preschoolers!

Hafner to the rescue

Golf season has unofficially ended....

for me today, with the US Mid Am Qualifier. I'll post more details later, but let's just say that when I have 3 birdies on the front and only manage to shoot 39 on that nine, it's not a good day.

75 was in a playoff....I missed by several...... another chance down the drain.

Before I crash for the night....

Slowing down Santana

A nice sur"prize" from Oakland

While we are on the subject of #s

I will post this despite the abortion that occurred this week at Yankee Stadium.

Putting the opponents out to sea.....

Fantasy Update

Here are the results of my two drafts......feel free to fire away at the good and bad.

League #1: (Yardage Heavy league, 1 keeper per team from previous year)
QB: McNabb, Hasselbeck
RB: Parker (keeper), McGahee, Morency
WR: Walker, L Coles, Glenn, Jennings
TE: Winslow
K: Hanson, Nugent
Def: Den, Minn
Rookie (mandatory spot): Quinn (!)

League #2 (very touchdown heavy, only 13 roster spots):
QB: Brady, E Manning
RB: Gore, Jordan, Davenport, L Washington
WR: Owens, Driver, Bruce, A Gonzalez
TE: Davis
K: Stover
Def: Chicago

The goal here for league 2 is to limit the roster spots to spur roster moves in the middle of the season when the byes hit.

Owens, Brady, McNabb- first time I had any of those on my team.

A nice gift to awake to....

I had tacos tonight.....

Snowball

Just to let you know, I'm now checking scores on my raggedy old cell phone at work. I'm really thinking about leaving the company. Onto some ramblings.

• I gave a head nod to a 4 year old boy eating dinner next to me and I absolutely believe he gave it back to me.
• During the same dinner, Carol and I were eating next to a family of 5. Carol and I were joking around and being a little bit loud and I guess the table next to us got pretty quiet as they were trying to listen to our conversation. As I paid the check and was getting up to leave, for some reason our conversation turned to the wonderful subject of "snowballing". Yes boys, snowballs. Carol didn't know what it was, so I explained it to her and as we got up to leave, we made eye contact with the family next to us and it was obvious they were listening to our conversation and the parents had this blank scared look on their face as they heard my explanation. Priceless and classy.
• Last weekend Carol and I went to a Flaming Lips concert in San Diego. I've never seen them live and WOW. If you ever have a chance to catch them, please make an effort. Very solid live performance.
• Now it helps that the concert was put on by Southern Comfort, which promoted me to drink like a fish for some reason. I was completely hammered on Soco and cokes and some fruity frozen Soco drink. Ended up blacking out which isn't a good feeling at 31.
• And of course this led to a very interesting 3:00am wake up because I had to go to the bathroom. I made my usually B-Line to the toilet which was interrupted by me walking into a wall. It took me about 20 seconds to realize that I wasn't in my room but some strange dark evil room. As I Helen Kellered by way out of the room I see that I forgot to take out my contacts. Ugh...terrible rest of the morning.
• I'm taking a break from the track. Got killed last weekend.
• Good news is that I'm heading out to go see Eric. I'm sure we will be heading down to the river boats.
• Mark my words- Falcons 9-7.
• Mega Millions is up to $360 million. If I won I'm thinking who would be in my entourage. The combinations are endless and hillarious.

Walk-off walk!

Getting some help from our friends

Keep movin' down the road....

FedEx Cup = Joke

All summer long I've ignored all the lame comments about the PGA's FedEx Cup and players chasing points. Secretly, I was hoping it would go away. It didn't.

I decide to to do a bit a research and understand more about the system hoping it wasn't as lame as I thought it would be. I was wrong. At the end of the day, this a way for the top dogs to get richer. #123, whoever that might be has very little chance.

Reasons why this is lame.

1) This is billed as the "playoffs." However, there were 9 players that made the cut last week that aren't playing this week. Someone tell me how you finish in the top half of a tournament, which is billed as the "playoffs," and then don't get to play the following week.

2) Tiger finished the regular season with ~30,000 points, 2nd place was at ~19,000. After the adjustment to start the "playoffs", Tiger has 100,000, 2nd place 99,000. I hope no one is confused as to whom the best golfer was this season ...and why not make it 1,000,000 points to start with, that sounds much more impressive than a measely 100,000 pts.

3) Tiger didn't play round 1 (and Ernie isn't playing round 2). Finchen claims that his models show you have to play in all 4 to have a chance to win. Apparently, Tiger's model says something different.

4) The big money is differed, so how does the caddie get paid? I've read quotes for more than one player that stated ...well, I guess I'll pay him when I get the money, which might be in 15 or 20 years. Ya, thats a good plan. Your caddie has no health care, no retirement plan, you can fire him tomorrow for no reason and he pays his own travel expenses. Here is an idea, pay him now or carry your own bag (like us amateurs do) you lazy jerk.

5) According to Golf Week, there is only a 10% chance that someone outside the top 15 wins the "playoffs." The current 15th rank player earned $2,450,000 this year. how does one survive on that. (note, I have no argument with giving the regular season champ an advantage, but this is really one sided).

Wow, thats enough for now.

Help!!!

All hell is breaking loose here at the office. Mother Zurich came and shut down all access to politcal and sports' websites during working hours. My employees are more upset at this than their raises at the end of the year. I have 20 favorites saved and only two work. This site and Drudgereport. I don't know what I'm going to do. This sucks!!!!