NFL Picks Week 4: Jack Klompus

This week reminds me of the classic Seinfeld episode with the Astronaut pen.

There are so many road favorites - or, in other words, home underdogs - that Vegas is begging you to take the points. This is a big rule of mine...home underdogs usually do well.

Just substitute "points" for "pen" in the dialogue below and you have my reasoning for this week.

TAKE THE PEN!


JERRY: What kind of pen is that?

JACK: This pen?

JERRY: Yeah.

JACK: This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.

JERRY: Wow! That's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?

JACK: Oh it was a gift.

JERRY: Cause sometimes I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the
pen works.

JACK: Take the pen.

JERRY: Oh no.

JACK: Go ahead.

JERRY: I couldn't

JACK: Come on, take the pen!

JERRY: I can't take it.

JACK: Do me a personal favor!

JERRY: No, I'm not...

JACK: Take the pen!

JERRY: I cannot take it!

JACK: Take the pen!

JERRY: Are you sure?

JACK: Positive! Take the pen!

JERRY: O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy!

Gee boy, will we get into as much trouble for these picks as Jerry did for taking the pen? We shall see.

Oak 24, Mia 21. I like what Kiffin is doing with this team. Not sure if we can trust Miami with anything yet.

Hou 20, Atl 13. I think at the end of the season we will look back on this and wonder why this line is so low (when Hou is 10-6, and Atl is 2-14).

Chi 23, Det 17. I know, I know...going against my home underdog principle here. But Griese will be an improvement.

GB 16, Min 13. Another road favorite. Yikes. But how will Minnesota score?

Dal 28, StL 20. No, I don't think St Lou will be in this game - but they will make it closer in the end.

NYJ 20, Buf 13. Again, I'm taking the visitor. Can we really trust the Jets?

TB 24, Car 21. I am impressed with the Bucs.

SF 27, Sea 24. I think the 49ers will pull this out at home.

Pit 30, Az 17. At this point, how can you not predict this? Pit is firing on all cylinders right now.

SD 20, KC 17. Much closer than people think.

Ind 31, Den 13. Denver is wayyyy overrated.

Phi 27, NYG 20. Can the eagles keep the momentum going? I say yes. McNabb should be able to work the Giants' non-existent D.

NE 31, Cin 27. A Monday Night classic. back and forth. NE will win in the end (and then be tired and overlook next week's opponent.....)

Best bets for week 4: (last week: officially, I was 7-5-4. Season total: 24-18-6.)

Oak +3.5
Hou -3
Hou/Atl Under 39.5
Chi -3
GB/Min under 38
StL +13
NYJ -3.5 (that hook worries me....)
TB +3
TB/Car over 39.5
SF +2
Sea/SF over 40.5
Pit -6
KC +11.5
Ind -10 (changed from 9.5 to 10 overnight....)
Phi -2.5
Cin +7.5

Caption Contest

Does it get any easier than this?

Hoo boy, we have a problem

So I'm feeling better now, and am starting to get excited over the Tribe's first playoff series since 2001. Here's a weird fact - the Browns made the playoffs more recently than the Indians. Wow.

Anyway, we may have a problem here. The way things are heading, we coul dbe in line for the best record in the AL. If so, we would play New York - the probable wild card. That's good and bad news.

The good news - if we play NY - is that the game times would be set. There's no way that the Yanks would NOT be on prime time. So - let's say we have a choice - Wed's and Thu's games would be at 8 pm; an off day Friday, then game 3 would be Sat night in New York, starting around 8 pm.

Saturday night...........October 6......uh oh, Janice's birthday. Janice is taking a trip to France that week and will be back Friday - and we already have plans for dinner that Saturday.

Hmmmmmmmm----- does BW-3 take reservations for a quiet, romantic table near a TV for that night?

I remember doing this in the past - I believe it was 1999, and we had playhouse tickets; I taped the game but couldn't stand the suspense so I caught an update in the car - and was not pleased with the results.

We're going to have to do some creative planning to accomodate this scenario. Stay tuned.

(Am I scared of the Yanks? Well, yes and no. That 0-6 record concerns me, but only one of those games was against CC or Carmona. So we will win our share.......but the sight of Joe Borowski (who, by the way, blew a save last night) vs. the Yanks with a lead in the 9th does concern me a bit. Might want to have a bottle of SoCo handy for that.)

Yes, I'd rather have Boston than New York for the first series, but we'll have to go through the Yanks at some point.....and maybe the law of averages will kick in and we will win 3 straight vs. the Yanks.

I bitched and moaned at Derek preceding last week's Browns' game that "no one wants us to win". No one in the media wanted the Browns to win to be 2-1. It would be too much of a soul-search for those so-called experts to accept that. Derek said I was making stuff up and reading waaaaay too much into some comments, and he was probably right.

But - who the hell does 99% of the media want to see in the ALCS? My God, everyone would want NY-Boston III in the 2007 ALCS. No one will want to see the Tribe (or, for that matter, the Angels) win a series. No one. It's us against the world here.

recap

Today was such a weird day in gambling. So many backdoor covers for pushes that it sent Eric into a tizzy. Some other lowlights and highlights.

• Had the moneyline with the Browns. Blocked FG. I did win a nice tease with the Colts, Pats, and the Browns as well as a straight bet on the Browns so its not so bad.
• Got killed on the Skins-Giants game. I made the bet late so I took the over at 41.5 instead of the earlier line at 41. 24-17 with the Skins on the 2 yard line. How the fuck to you screw up that goaline play???? Ugh.
• And where was Gibbs calming down Campbell. The only thing making me feel a little bit better about that game was that they were lucky to even get to the goaline.
• SD- I knew that this might happen. SD is the team that will be over-rated for the next several weeks. They are terrible.
• Its nice to see the Broncos exposed. WOW

I should be happier...

but it will take a bit for the Browns' loss to wear off.

I'll post later about the Tribe after I can see clearly...it may not be until Tuesday morning, however.

Random Shit

Out of commission for the last couple of days due to eating some pretty nasty steak. Note to self, when you get a nice steak that has blackened blue cheese crusted on it, it only has a shelf life of about 24 hours. I had a slice about 72 hours later and it has knocked me out. I will say that my stomach has handled it fairly well as it has shut itself down. There seems to be a "Please remain seated and keep your seatbelts on" sign illuminated in my colon. So I have been trippling up on my fiber and I feel very very strange. With that all being said, I have been laid up in bed since Friday night which has allowed me to do a lot of thinking about many things:

• Being in bed all day during a Saturday with a laptop and a gambling problem is a terrible thing. I had a fever when wagering on a 6 team teaser. WTF!!!! At least I had an excuse unlike Eric. I got a call from him on Saturday asking me who I liked more. San Jose St. or Utah St. Ugh.
• I'm restricting myself to only wagering on the Pac 10. No more Big Ten. Fuck Penn St.
• Bold prediction that I made to Eric yesterday: West Virginia vs Oklahoma for the national championship. LSU and Florida will knock each other off and USC will have too hard of a road schedule.
• And poor Terps. How do you not even cover?
• Can we all agree that Spencer from "The Hills" creates such wide range of emotions for guys. He is a complete jerk but yet I have a lot of respect for him since he is able to be that way while still holding down his girlfriend. Does he even have a job?
• Watching a HBO documentary on the Yanks vs Diamondbacks series and the impact of 9/11 on the series. Scott Brosius made a comment of "If there was ever a time that New York deserved the world series it was this year since they went through so much." And the picture that they had up when he was talking about that was an AZ fan with a "Go Home Yankee" poster. Nice.
• And can we please stop having women comment on sports. Ugh. "I didn't wear any purple and green for months" was a lady's reaction to the Yankees losing.
• Warning: Girls Gone Wild has hired some Real World cast members to video tape shit. Sirus, Tanya, the one hot girl from San Diego, and the dude who got his face bashed in are filming now. Yes this is what you learn when you wake up at 3:00am on Sunday morning.
• I'm done betting on teams with bad QBs on the road, no matter who they are playing. Vikings vs KC seems so enticing to me, but I can't handle cheering for Bollinger to drive his team 80 yards for the win. NO more.

One more....

NFL Week 3: Sidra

You can see this one coming a mile away, huh?

Now is the time of the season where we start asking: "Are they for real?"

Is Detroit for real, or are they fake? What about the 49ers? The Texans?

They all look as good as Sidra here right now....

and, of course, what will we be saying about some of the teams?

"Yes, they are real.... and they are FANTASTIC!"

On to the picks:

NE 31, Buf 10: Can the Pats be stopped? (Answer: Yes, in two weeks...)

Min 17, KC 13. I just don't see KC scoring many points against this defense.

Indy 23, Hou 21. Should be close when the Colts are on the road, where they have struggled.

GB 23, SD 20. I think GB's defense will contain LT...which puts pressure on the non-existant SD WR's.

Bal 20, Az 13. A copy of last week's game?

TB 23, StL 16. If StL can't score more than 16-17 in a dome, how will they do it outside vs. a defense that is underrated?

Pit 20, SF 10. This game should be over at 3:35 EDT. Ball control galore.

Phi 24, Det 14. Look, this is the Eagles' last stand. The defense will come after Kitna. DEtroit has no running game whatsoever. And teh Eagles will rally (this week) around Donovan.

Mia 17, NYJ 16. Maybe the Dolphins are a little more impressive and better than we thought. Taking the Skins to OT the first week? Hanging with the Cowboys (a bit) last week?

Sea 31, Cin 21. I have Hasselbeck starting this week.

Den 16, Jax 13. I have no clue about this game. None.

Car 20, Atl 10. Why I didn't bet the under in the two previous Atlanta game, I don't know....

Was 31, NYG 17. I am ocncerned about a Monday night hangover for the Skins, but the home crowd should help.

Chi 24, Dal 19. I think Romo will throw 2-3 interceptions.

NO 24, Ten 23. A last-second field goal (aided by a controversial penatly) will save the Saints.

Best bets: (Last week: 6-9-1. Overall: 17-13-2).

NE -16 (ugh)

Min +3
Hou +6

GB +5.5

TB -4

SF/Pit under 38

Phi -6

Det/Phi Under 44

Mia +3

Sea -3

Jax/Den Under 35 1/2

Car -3.5

Car/Atl Under 37

Was -3.5

Was/NYG Over 41

Ten +4

6 favorites, 5 dogs, 1 over, 4 unders....

Oh?

Cle 24, Oak 21. We have to win. We can win. So let's go out and do it. It's Luke McCown, for God's sake!

Iowa Casino Stories

Back from a 3 day trip to Iowa, which included a trip (or trips?) to the local casino in Iowa City, which is about 15 minutes south of town. Again, I thank God that this was built and opened after we moved away from Iowa, or else I would have become one of those creepy regulars that pop in at 10 pm and stay til about 2 am, 3 nights a week.

Some of the weird stories from the trip:
- Played craps with a college guy with 1) a Chief Wahoo hat AND 2) A Jeff Garcia Browns jersey. No, that was not mine that I gave to the Iowa City Goodwill store in 2005. (I still have mine somewhere).

- Blackjack stories: It amazes me the stupidity of players at the $5 blackjack table. A couple was at our table and made the following moves:
1) he had 17 vs the dealer 8; he hit. (Apparently, before we got to the table, he had 17 against a 5 and hit as well.
2) he had 12 against a 5 and hit; he received a 2 for a total of 14; he decided that was enough and stayed on 14.
3) he had soft 18 vs. a 6; I would have doubled; he did not. Of course, my friend who came with me had $60 on the hand; the dealer ended up with 20 for a loss at the table; if the player at the end would have doubled instead of stayed, the dealer would have busted.

I'm only imagining what Derek would have threw at the player after that display.

- Craps stories: So I arrive at a craps table, and the action is a bit stalled as an old man pulls out $90 or so, betting on the "hops" for the 8. (A hop bet is a one-roll bet on the exact roll of the dice; he is putting $30 each on the 6-2, 5-3 and 4-4.)
He's doing this each roll - each roll! - and losing every one. The roller is rolling numbers (6, 4, 10, ...) but not the eight. He lost at least $1500 when I was there.
- So while this was going on, there was another college kid at the table who was clearly annoyed at the delays in the action with this guy and the hop bets. He wanted this to stop, and stop quickly. In addition, the guy who was making the hop bets was rolling - so the action slowed down even more.
The point was 5, and I have some money on the pass line with odds. Well, this was no matter for the kid. He wanted the dice to move so badly, that he did the unthinkable....
"$1 for the dealers on Any Seven".
He's betting for the dealers on a 7!

The next roll: 5! Winner!

Oh, I did my best Derek impression... I looked right at him. "FIVE! WINNNNNNNNNER, FIVE!" He was not amused; I was.

We're almost there....

Unthinkable: A sweep!

The keys to the division...

Who put a lake in the middle of the Mohavi

I apologize for the interuption of the Browns/Indians blog for the following rant:

1. Last night I was running late at work and wanted to place a wager on the Eagles. I called Eric, but he was at the airport. I called Lee and he was driving, so I was a little pissed I couldn't get my bet in. Lee asked who I liked and I told him the Eagles were a layup. He started to laugh since he also thought that the Eagles were a layup and its best that I didn't get the bet in. Well as you all know, the Eagles lost and I saved some money thanks to Lee. From here on out my wagering protocol will involve a quick call to Lee on Saturdays to see who he likes and then go the opposite.

2. I'm not usually the type of person to make this statement, but it is odd that Godell doesn't suspend a white coach for cheating and blatantly ignoring his orders to stop video taping, but yet he suspends the black players like Vick, Pacman, and Tank. If Jesse Jackson comes in and says that this is a racial thing, how can you say it is not? Keep up the bad work Godell.

3. Was at Lake Havesau this weekend with Carol and her friends. Excellent time. When I told my mom I was heading out there, her first words were "Wasn't that where they film Girls Gone Wild?" Umm..yes it is mom, but how the hell do you know this? Some highlights from the trip:

• One of Carol's friends made an excellent comment that was dead on about the people at the bars and the lake. "This is where fat men come to get laid." It was so bad that I think I was one of the skinnier people at the lake.
• Fucking HOT!!! Why was I surprised that it was 105 degrees?
• We played Drinking Jenga. Wow, I missed that game. It was pretty funny that out of the 6 of us that were playing, only myself and one other guy knew how to properly complete a "Waterfall". Its not a good waterfall unless the last couple of guys are bitching and complaining that they had to drink too much.
• Had to pay an extra $110 for a new engine prop since we anchored the boat in a sandbar by using the engine. This is what happens when everyone is on their 11th-12th beer.
• Its funny hanging out with a bunch of Charger fans. Their hatred for the Pats is real and too bad its only one sided. Is there anything worse that having a one sided rivalry because the other team is too good or they just don't car. It used to happen to the Terps and the NC schools until we became decent. And they also hate Norv. They all called that they would get killed against the Pats because Norv wouldn't have the team ready.
• Once again, is there anything better than a late morning/early afternoon buzz? My body is still trying to recover from being drunk on Friday night, all day Saturday, and at 10:00am on Sunday.
• Made a terrible decision on the way home from the lake on Sunday. Carol and I saw a sign for Laughlin (Nevada town just a little smaller than Reno that has some nice casinos), but it didn't have any mileage. Carol and I were up for some gambling, but I was worried that it would of been too far. Check the distance this morning and it was only 20 miles off the highway. FUCK! Would of made it a perfect weekend.
• Never let two women plan meeting places for road trips. On the way back I had to drop Carol off to get her car down in San Diego. Now why would they do this as I had to pass the house on the way down to get her car. Didn't either of the two women figure that this would be an issue on Sunday? I guess not. Nothing like adding on an additional 2 hours and 120 miles to the car.

So, for the encore....

October 12, 2003.

What were you doing then?

Warren, our youngest son, was not baptized yet. We still lived in Cincinnati - and planning to move to Iowa.

Howard Dean was the frontrunner for the Democratic Presidential nomination.

We were two weeks away from Aaron *(*#@^%^ Boone.

And that was the last time the Browns have won two games in a row.

Look, the game this weekend was wonderful. It was a culmination of an offense that we dreamed of having - but a realistic dream given our acquistions. When you sit back in the offseason and play the "if" game...

if we get good offensive line play, THEN
Jamal will have holes which will then force the D to play the run
AND then that will open up the field for KW II and Braylon
SO if we get some good QB...well, this could be a top 10 offense!

Well, for one week, it came true.

Now, the big test. Can we put it together for two weeks in a row?

That's why this week is so big for us. The Browns over the past few years would play at a high level - then revert back to the inept Browns for two, three weeks. They have been complete teases.

This offense has me excited long term. No, of course we are not going to score 50 every game. But why not 20-28 a game? If we do that, that's good for a solid 6-7 wins. Defense still has questions, and I hope we can play better on that side of the ball. But, in fairness:
- this was the Bengals, home of so many offensive talents, and
- we gave the Steelers 17 points week 1, so the 34-7 loss was not as bad as it seems defensively.

People are starting to notice what weapons we have offensively. We saw what an offensive running at 100% the whole game can do. Now, if Romeo can only get that offense to perform at 70% of that level consistently, then we may have something here.

But is this a one-week tease? Or can we string two good performances in a row? That's why this game is huge.

Just think if Oakland would have won Sunday vs. Denver. If that occured, that would have mean that the winner of this game would be 2-1.

Let's hope the winner of this game will be 2-1. It's a big big big big test for this team. String it together, boys.

Casey at the bat!

What a weekend

Well, it would have been a lot better had the BP not melted down on Friday, or Papi got a hit tonight - but....

First... TapeGate.

I think BB should have been suspended for 1 game. Not for the SD game but for next week. And the suspension would have to be that he would need to be away from the facility for the entire week. Just like guys that fail the drug test, they are banned from the facility while serving their suspension, BB should have had the same penalty. I think if the commish had granted the fines, taken the pick AND suspended BB 1 game, that would have been a very fair punishment. Overall, without the suspension it was a little light for someone who was trying to "make a statement".

Now, the one thing that is sickening, is to hear the Steelers *STILL* FREAKING bellyaching about the TWO AFCC loses. The Bus was crying on NBC saying that they made big plays against the Steelers and that was probably due to them having their signals. Well, whatever Bus. YOUR TEAM choked away THREE HOME AFCC. Big Ben threw that horrendous pick to Rodney Harrison, YOUR TEAM failed to tackle Troy Brown on the punt return (and Cordell threw 3 INTS), but hey you should have went to the SB, it must have been the audio. Shut the hell up.

BTW, not mentioned in TapeGate at all was that the Dolphins admitted to doing this a couple of years ago. Zach Thomas admitted after the game (a MIA win), that they had audio of Tom Brady's audibles and used that to counter his line calls. So, other teams have done it in the past. It doesn't make what they did right, but it isn't like this is the only reason NE has won football games over the last few years. Let's not go crazy.

Um, this current Pats team is loaded. LOADED. And I'm sure all Skins fans were shocked, SHOCKED that Norv Turner's team choked and looked completely unprepared going into a big game. That never happened right!?!??!? Ha! Man, he is terrible. But, adding Moss has really added a new dimension to this offense. They now have some speed and playmakers on the outside that a defense really needs to respect. I think once they get Harrison back, the D will look even better (who really should thank BB or taking all the heat off of him - mr. HGH!).

Now, the Yankees... Ugh. That 8th inning on Friday was ridiculous. The Jeter AB tonight was so damn predictable. Sheesh. I guess, if there are any positives to take away from the weekend series is that the Sox still hit Pettitte and Wang pretty hard, Beckett finally pitched a dominating game against the lineup, and Gange had two consecutive scoreless outings (no small miracle and a guy they will REALLY need since Okajima is completely toast right now - ERA over 4 since the break).

I am not just saying this because Eric posts on this Blog. Right now, I really fear the Indians in the first round. With the new format they can have Carmona and CC throw 4 of the 5 games on normal rest, with probably Byrd in the other game (who has great numbers against the RS). Should be interesting.

BTW, when was the last time a QB threw for 400+ yards *SIX* TDs and lost???? What a crazy game. At least Eric will go to work smiling tomorrow.

My thoughts on the game?

I'm verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves, please.

Random Album Cover by t23

Oh, the Browns prediction?

Like I'm supposed to predict what this team is going to do now. It's safe to say that last week's debacle had me completely stunned. How in the hell can we go out, get all this "talent", and look like that? 17-0 in the first quarter? Giving up in the 3rd? The Charlie Frye mishandling?

(I mean, how does that happen? You have an "open" QB competition - your supposed winner is Charlie Frye - and that's it? One bad quarter and you are done for? What kind of competition was that? It's like having two putters, practicing through April with both, making a decision before your first tournament -
and then 3 putting the frst two holes; you then break the putter over your knee and putt with your 3-iron the rest of the way)

I want to believe that this team is embarassed after last week's loss, but how can I take that to the bank? Romeo is such an awful coach....how does he not get the team up for the game last week?

So I'd like to say 23-20 Browns, but I feel it will be 31-14 Bengals. And I hope Brady is in in the 2nd half.

NFL Week 2: Estelle Costanza

George's Mom, Estelle, is the walking definition of the word overreaction. How many times during the series do we hear Estelle say "OH MY GOD" to George's (and his father's) antics?

So what if Frank and Kramer are trying on manssiers behind closed doors? So what if George is "treating his body like an amusement park"? No need for hysterics, like Estelle.

Well, after week 1's results, it seems like a lot of prognoticators and experts are turning into Estelle's. They overreact a loss (or, in some cases, a win) and swing wildly that way for week 2. (You want overreaction? Try watching a Browns game with you, Eric. -ed).

Well, yes, I plead guilty to that, too. Anyone who tries to talk to me during a Browns game will understand this.

Anyway, the trick here is to figure out the overreactions and go the other way. Here we go:

Indy 27, Ten 17. Let's not king the Titans the champs of the AFC South just yet. The Colts can stop the run, and that's ALL the Titans did against Jax.

SF 23, StL 20, OT: A gut choice here; Janice made me a sausage and cheese omelet this morning, so my gut is feeling pretty good.

NYG 19, GB 13. Yes, the Giants secondary is weak, but who are they facing this week? Favre - Mr. Inconsistent - Donald Driver, and a cast of castoff receivers. I think the Giants D will be OK here.

NO 28, TB 17. I think Tampa is awful; New Orleans shoul dbe ready to exact revenge. They lost to the best team in football, ok? The Saints didn't lose to the Browns or anything.

Jax 20, Atl 10. I'm running away from this game. No clue who will show up.

Pit 20, Buf 14. OK, let's dissect last week's disaster. People are really overreacting here to Pittsburgh, believeing what they want to believe ("Look, the Steel Curtain is back!" "Big Ben is back to his rookie year performance).

The truth is they did not dominate us in that game.

(uh, hello? Did you watch it?)

Well, OK, but we didn't get manhandled.

(Not in the 2nd half, but the 1st half?)

All right, all right.... we were dominated, but we handed them 17 points on a platter.

(That's better.)

We gave them 17 points in the 1st quarter. They did not score on drives that started in their own territory. This is not to prop up the Browns, but let's not crown the Steelers, either. This will be a struggle - Pit will win, but it will be close.

Car 16, Hou 14 - Bet on the under on both of these until proven otherwise.

Dal 23, Mia 13 - I just can't see the Dolphins being in this.

Arizona 27, Seattle 24 (OT) - A wild NFC West Shootout. People are writing the Cards off after one bad game. They will come out pumped for their home opener.

Det 24, Min 17. People, it was Atlanta. Joey gave them 2 TDs. Minny's D is good - but not 85 Bears good. Harrington will make teams look like that.

Den 27, Oak 10. If Buffalo can stay with Pittsburgh in the 1:00 game, then this is a lock. However, if Pittsburgh destroys Buffalo, then Denver isn't that good and Oakland may keep it close. (and how about that overrated Oakland defense, Derek?)

Chicago 24, Kansas City 8 - Nuff said.

Bal 23, NYJ 10 - Turnovers on both sides may allow the over to hit, but I ain't biting.

NE 31, SD 27 - I don't think cheater-gate will affect NE. Should be a classic.

Phil 27, Was 16. Again, let's not sell Philly just yet. They faced a good - above average - GB defense.

Best bets:

last week: 11-4-1 (Derek: 6-8-2)

Ind -7

SF +3

NYG -2.5

GB/NYG Under 38

NO -3.5

Buf +10

Hou +6.5

Car/Hou under 38

Dal -3.5

Az +3

Az/Sea over 42 1/2

Det -3

Den -9 1/2

Chi -12

NE/SD Over 46 1/2

Phi -7

8 favorites (yikes), 4 dogs, 2 overs, 2 unders. Would have liked to have more dogs in there.....

May 29, 1994 - Sep 13, 2007 RIP

It's sad when a TV dies. You just can't believe it. How could it be so soon? But then you realize it was over 13 years old. It only has one input in the back. It was time for it to go.

Ah, the memories for that TV. It started out as Janice's - and showed E.R. every Thursday night (when that was THE biggest show on TV). Then we had it together, and watched key sporting moments like:
- God's HR in the bottom of the 11th (Tony Fernandez, actually) to help win Game 6 of the 1997 ALCS....
- Joe Juneau's goal at 6:24 of overtime in Game 6 to send the Caps to the Stanley Cup Finals (top right corner, over Hasek's shoulder. I remember that like it was in slow motion).
- Phil Dawson running onto the field to kick a 36-yarder as time expired to beat Pittsurgh on the road in 1999
- 9 straight episodes of Next on MTV when I had the stomach flu in 2005 (is that really necessary? -ed) Yes!

Oh well....TV Shopping tomorrow....

The "Royals" are defeated

Yo!

Futbol!

With Eric in Mexico.....

Wow, that didn't take long. Frye is gone to Seattle. Good. It seems as if Savage saw that his job was on the line and he did the only logical thing. Why else would there be such a knee jerk reaction like this? I know Don put the over/under on Quinn at the bye week, but I also think that this will be when Romeo is gone as well. I can't see Savage allowing Quinn to start under Romeo's regime.

And what the heck is going on with the Pats. Cheating? I'm still a little confused on how a guy with a camera during the game can figure out anything? I always assumed that teams were using scanners to pick up the play calling, but I'm still confused on the use of a camera.

Skins: The door might be open for them this year in the East. I don't think that the Eagles are that bad, but if they are I think the Skins have a shot at the division. Giants are really bad, and the Cowboys, while winning still looked terrible on defense. Why didn't I pick them as my sleeper?

Why isn't it obvious to always take the team playing against the Ravens at home during primetime. When is the last time they won a primetime game on the road. And what terrible play calling from Belick. Pass plays on the goaline? And forget about the bad call on Heep, they had another 4 plays to get it in after the make up call. I can't wait to hear what he has to say about it.

And yes I watched the entire snooze fest that was the Niners vs. Cards. Either both teams defense will be in the top 5 this year or they are both pathetic. So happy I have Leinhart as my starting Q in one of my leagues.

Will the Browns score 13 in a game this year?

Notes from my last day as a Browns Fan

Things I learned this past Sunday…

Charlie is a below average QB (that performance was notable for its lack of anything positive, I think he wasn’t actually running around looking for someone to sack him)

Crennel has, at most, 15 games left as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns (Coach Romeo Crennel said he had "no explanation" for what happened… let me start with the top 5, which doesn’t get us out of the 1st quarter).

The over/under on Quinn’s first start is the bye week.

I thought 8-8 was a stretch, 6-10 is looking beyond reach.

Eric is insane. 1) He thought with a little bit of luck, the Browns could go 10-6. 2) I was on the phone with him when Cleveland scored to make it 24-6 and he is screaming, top of lungs to anyone that will listen screaming, that we should go for 2, and if we don’t we aren’t trying to win the game. (note, I don’t blame him for this, anyone will go insane watching this team)

My Sunday afternoons are free again to pursue other activities. I refuse to watch any more of this franchise until they are 0.500.

I’m glad Green Bay won. Go Pack.

Quick Notes from the games yesterday

Took some notes while watching the games in a Browns Backer Bar. Yes, it was me and about 25 Browns fans. Boy I felt sorry for those guys.

1. At the beginning of the Browns game, I was agreeing with Don that they made the right move not to start Quinn since the line could not protect Frye. But after a while, I saw that all the sacks were basically caused by Frye and not the line. I'm glad they pulled Frye for Anderson, but jeez, things didn't get much better. The line is fine. Start Quinn. You are looking at a 2-3 win season anyway, why not get him in there.

2a. Yes, I drank the Browns coolaid and made a very bad decision on betting on the Browns. Ugh.

2b. In the middle of the 1st quarter a Browns fan yelled "Put Nascar on, I'm done watching this crap." Nice.

3. With all my problems with the internet at work, Wiz called me on Saturday to tell me that he is not allowed to text anyone since the SEC doesn't have any oversight on Text messages. Pretty interesting.

4. Was I the only one that was excited and getting sick at the same time while watching those Oreo Pizza commercials from Domino's.

5. Is there anything more fun than wagering on the over? I love rooting for points. From either team. Not only is it fun, it confuses the hell out of everyone else why I'm clapping when both teams score.

6. I was drunk by 11:00am yesterday. Was out on Saturday night with Carol and her friends and was a little hung over the next morning, and then started it off with a cup of coffee and protein shake and right into a Boddingtons. Took care of that hangover real quick.

7. Sportsguy called it for KC. That kicker sucks!!!

8. Did Maryland win? I heard it was close but I don't know what the final score was?

No particular reason

"There are four fouls on the kicking team on the play...."

When those are the words out of the referree's mouth on the first punt of the 2007 season....

well, this season is probably a train wreck.

I'm just sick.

(But a 9-4-1 day so far is helping.)

The only bright spot this afternoon

Sweet 16

NFL Week 1: Uncle Leo

Hellllloooooooo Jerry!

Week 1 in the NFL is like Uncle Leo from Seinfeld. Everyone is happy to see him, he is very inviting....but you know he has something up his sleeve.

After studying these games, there are a few games that are "Uncle Leo" games - games he is beggin you to take - and it makes sense! - but you have this feeling that there is a catch and you aren't sure what you are getting into.

Picks for week 1:

New England 28, New York Jets 20 - Uncle Leo game 1. I think Mangini will keep them close.

Seattle 24, Tampa 13 - I agree that Tampa will be awful this year.

SD 23, Chicago 20 - Uncle Leo game #2. People, this is Norv Turner coaching. There's going to be some head scratching decisions during the game.

Jacksonville 20, Tennessee 10 - It will take a while for Garrard to get comfortable.

Houston 20, Kansas City 6 - Yikes.

St Louis 19, Carolina 16. Have no feel in this one.

Green Bay 27, Philly 24 - Game of the week, no question, right here.

Washington 20, Miami 10. Trent Green? No.

Atlanta 20, Minnesota 16. Uncle Leo game #3. You're telling me you are going to put money on Tavaris Jackson? (um, aren't you putting money on Joey Harrington? -ed) Touche.

Buffalo 20, Denver 19. Uncle Leo game #4. I was not impressed with Denver in the preseason.

Detroit 20, Oakland 10. How in the hell is Oakland favored??

Dallas 27, NY Giants 17. This could be Uncle Leo game #5. Too many people are burying the Giants, and it scares me.

Cincinnati 23, Baltimore 17. Cinci - at home - Monday night - will find a way to win.

San Fran 24, Arizona 20. I think the Cards will keep this close.

And of course:

Cleveland 20, Pittsburgh 17. This is Uncle Leo game 5. If I was a neutral player, I'd be sooooo scared of this game. Something is wrong here - Vegas is begging you to take the Steelers.

Picks of the week: 16 of them (I had 17, but changed the final score of the Atl/Min game to get to 16. I origianlly picked that under.....)

NE/NYJ Over 40 1/2

Sea -6

Chi +6

Ten/Jax Under 37 1/2

Hou -3

Hou/KC Under 37 1/2

Car/StL Under 42

GB +3

GB/Phi Over 42 1/2

Was -3

Cin -2.5

Atl +3

Buf +3

Det +2.5

Det/Oak Under 39 1/2

Dal -6

5 favorites, 5 underdogs........2 overs, 4 unders. A pretty good balance.

If this doesn't get you pumped up for football...

...then you have no soul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vMA22xJEcQ

As Deadspin said, if you can watch this and then the first words out of your mouth NOT be:
"You're looking LIVE at Soldier Field...." then you have more mental toughness than I.

Personally, I am an "NFL Live '87" NBC pregame show guy myself, as NBC had the rights to the AFC back then. (Geesh - are there readers on the blog who are too young to know this? I hope not. You know kiddies, there was a time when FOX had no football on. Yes!) I hope to have an NFL Live clip up with Bob Costas and Pete Axtelm soon....

NFL Season...it's here!

Well, I'm just about fired up for the season. I can't wait until Sunday to see the 2007 version of the Browns. I have a feeling I will be drunk with giddiness after the win..... or drunk with despair after a 20 point loss. I don't see a middle ground.

Team predictions will be coming up soon later tonight, and our weekly feature will return - NFL Picks every week! As you know, I'm working on three years in a row now with the picks beating Vegas - not just over .500, but beating the Juice.

Last year, each week had a theme from a Pricing (or is it Price-in?) game from the Price is Right. This year?

The weekly theme will be minor characters from Seinfeld.

No pick for tonight.....I predict a 31-24 win by the Colts, too close to the number and the total to wager on.

Hello from United Hell

Its nice to see that Eric can google for images and play with clipart. A couple of quick notes from Ohio.

1. Fuck United. I'm calling my congressman tomorrow to push this draft. Don are you with me!!!!!! And yes I have no one else to blame for this except for myself. On Friday, Carol and I sat in the OC airport because the plane before us had mechanical problems and they took our plane. So they were trying to repair our plane (the one that was broken), but they didn't have any mechanics. So they have to get them from LA, but is rush hour on labor day weekend. Ugh. So 8 hours later, the plane takes off and we land at 3:00am at O'Hare. Our flight to Dayton doesn't leave until 6:00am, so once again I end up sleeping in O'Hare. On the way back home I end up spending 45 minutes on the tarmak at the OC airport since United can't get their act together and have an open gate. This letter that I'm writing is going to be classic.
2. New Albany Golf Course- By far this was the nicest course I've ever seen. Took a huge dump in the men's locker room and it was amazing. TVs, card tables, dry cleaner, and I think I even saw a popcorn machine in there.
3. Caddying- Man I love it. I take pride in my work as a caddy. I see some of the guys just struggling along and it pisses me off. But at this tournament, I came upon the king of all caddies. Knew all the rules, all of the pin placements, took the pin out first almost every single hole, and had an eye of an eagle in locating balls. He called out Eric for hitting out of turn, and we almost came to blows by the 4th hole. Eric was telling me "I don't want to know anything more than "Eric its all taken care of"". What a prick.
4. Eric's Golfing Ability- Yes Eric shot an 84 but it was an exciting 84. Those pin placements were impossible and he hung in there for most of the day. Shooting an 84 with having to use his highbred club on every approach shot is very impressive. All he needs to do is workout a little bit to gain some distance on his driver and he would be in it since his short game is second to none.

The Tribe: Fun for Preschoolers!

Hafner to the rescue

Golf season has unofficially ended....

for me today, with the US Mid Am Qualifier. I'll post more details later, but let's just say that when I have 3 birdies on the front and only manage to shoot 39 on that nine, it's not a good day.

75 was in a playoff....I missed by several...... another chance down the drain.

Before I crash for the night....

Slowing down Santana

A nice sur"prize" from Oakland

While we are on the subject of #s

I will post this despite the abortion that occurred this week at Yankee Stadium.

Putting the opponents out to sea.....

Fantasy Update

Here are the results of my two drafts......feel free to fire away at the good and bad.

League #1: (Yardage Heavy league, 1 keeper per team from previous year)
QB: McNabb, Hasselbeck
RB: Parker (keeper), McGahee, Morency
WR: Walker, L Coles, Glenn, Jennings
TE: Winslow
K: Hanson, Nugent
Def: Den, Minn
Rookie (mandatory spot): Quinn (!)

League #2 (very touchdown heavy, only 13 roster spots):
QB: Brady, E Manning
RB: Gore, Jordan, Davenport, L Washington
WR: Owens, Driver, Bruce, A Gonzalez
TE: Davis
K: Stover
Def: Chicago

The goal here for league 2 is to limit the roster spots to spur roster moves in the middle of the season when the byes hit.

Owens, Brady, McNabb- first time I had any of those on my team.

A nice gift to awake to....

I had tacos tonight.....

Snowball

Just to let you know, I'm now checking scores on my raggedy old cell phone at work. I'm really thinking about leaving the company. Onto some ramblings.

• I gave a head nod to a 4 year old boy eating dinner next to me and I absolutely believe he gave it back to me.
• During the same dinner, Carol and I were eating next to a family of 5. Carol and I were joking around and being a little bit loud and I guess the table next to us got pretty quiet as they were trying to listen to our conversation. As I paid the check and was getting up to leave, for some reason our conversation turned to the wonderful subject of "snowballing". Yes boys, snowballs. Carol didn't know what it was, so I explained it to her and as we got up to leave, we made eye contact with the family next to us and it was obvious they were listening to our conversation and the parents had this blank scared look on their face as they heard my explanation. Priceless and classy.
• Last weekend Carol and I went to a Flaming Lips concert in San Diego. I've never seen them live and WOW. If you ever have a chance to catch them, please make an effort. Very solid live performance.
• Now it helps that the concert was put on by Southern Comfort, which promoted me to drink like a fish for some reason. I was completely hammered on Soco and cokes and some fruity frozen Soco drink. Ended up blacking out which isn't a good feeling at 31.
• And of course this led to a very interesting 3:00am wake up because I had to go to the bathroom. I made my usually B-Line to the toilet which was interrupted by me walking into a wall. It took me about 20 seconds to realize that I wasn't in my room but some strange dark evil room. As I Helen Kellered by way out of the room I see that I forgot to take out my contacts. Ugh...terrible rest of the morning.
• I'm taking a break from the track. Got killed last weekend.
• Good news is that I'm heading out to go see Eric. I'm sure we will be heading down to the river boats.
• Mark my words- Falcons 9-7.
• Mega Millions is up to $360 million. If I won I'm thinking who would be in my entourage. The combinations are endless and hillarious.

Walk-off walk!

Getting some help from our friends

Keep movin' down the road....

FedEx Cup = Joke

All summer long I've ignored all the lame comments about the PGA's FedEx Cup and players chasing points. Secretly, I was hoping it would go away. It didn't.

I decide to to do a bit a research and understand more about the system hoping it wasn't as lame as I thought it would be. I was wrong. At the end of the day, this a way for the top dogs to get richer. #123, whoever that might be has very little chance.

Reasons why this is lame.

1) This is billed as the "playoffs." However, there were 9 players that made the cut last week that aren't playing this week. Someone tell me how you finish in the top half of a tournament, which is billed as the "playoffs," and then don't get to play the following week.

2) Tiger finished the regular season with ~30,000 points, 2nd place was at ~19,000. After the adjustment to start the "playoffs", Tiger has 100,000, 2nd place 99,000. I hope no one is confused as to whom the best golfer was this season ...and why not make it 1,000,000 points to start with, that sounds much more impressive than a measely 100,000 pts.

3) Tiger didn't play round 1 (and Ernie isn't playing round 2). Finchen claims that his models show you have to play in all 4 to have a chance to win. Apparently, Tiger's model says something different.

4) The big money is differed, so how does the caddie get paid? I've read quotes for more than one player that stated ...well, I guess I'll pay him when I get the money, which might be in 15 or 20 years. Ya, thats a good plan. Your caddie has no health care, no retirement plan, you can fire him tomorrow for no reason and he pays his own travel expenses. Here is an idea, pay him now or carry your own bag (like us amateurs do) you lazy jerk.

5) According to Golf Week, there is only a 10% chance that someone outside the top 15 wins the "playoffs." The current 15th rank player earned $2,450,000 this year. how does one survive on that. (note, I have no argument with giving the regular season champ an advantage, but this is really one sided).

Wow, thats enough for now.

Help!!!

All hell is breaking loose here at the office. Mother Zurich came and shut down all access to politcal and sports' websites during working hours. My employees are more upset at this than their raises at the end of the year. I have 20 favorites saved and only two work. This site and Drudgereport. I don't know what I'm going to do. This sucks!!!!

Is it too early?

Thoughts piled up in a corner....

Please forgive me for the possible mood swings; I am posting here in with the Tribe up in the bottom of the 8th, 4-3, which means Joe Borowski will be coming in the game. Should be a fun rollercoaster.

Random thoughts from the past week:

1) I'm already sick of Michael Vick. He's yesterday's news. Some dumb ass reporter asked Goddell if Vick is going to overshadow the start of the 07 season.

I'll answer that..... let's say Brett Favre committed a triple murder, LaDanian Tomlinson was found to be half-man, half alien, and Tom Brady was found in bed with Terrell Owens....
I'd STILL be highly concentrating on the 3rd WR position battle for the Browns.

These are other teams' problems - not mine. Lord knows the Browns have enough problems to think about.

2) Which brings us to Brady. Peter King is urging us to start Frye and have Quinn "grow" on the bench. I understand the thought - but our primary concern should be to win games. Does Brady give us the best chance to win 9/9 vs Pit (and 9/16 vs Cin)? If yes, then he starts. No questions asked.

We can talk about the future all we want - but all we can control is the present. All the experts can say "oh, just wait......Quinn will be fine in the future" - but we don't know what will happen in 08,09 and beyond. Ask Dan Marino. Ask Reggie Miller. "Oh, they'll get back there". No they didn't. We can't bank on the future. We try to win games now.

This team - if they get a lot of breaks - can go 10-6. I believe that. It encourages me to hear that Mortensen predicted this team will win 3 divisional games. If so, we are going 9-7, 10-6. For now, I am predicted 7-9 - but something better can happen. Let's not shoot ourselves in the foot early on by playing our second-best players.

Cleveland has scored in the 8th - it-s now 5-3 Indians; the Royals lead the tigers 3-1 in the 5th.

3) Surfing Sirius the other day in the afternoon......actually stopped on the broadcast of the Urugauy vs Canada FIBA preliminary game. I was actually interested in the color commentary - the analyst was criticizing the Uruguayan coach.
Then I snapped out of it. What the hell are you doing? You bought Sirius for this? A chance to listen to this crappy basketball game that

S-SEEK Alert: "Iko Iko" by The Belle Stars

Ok, one of my top 20 songs is starting. Thank God I am rescued from FIBA....

"See that boy all dressed in green?
Iko Iko an nay
He's not a man, he's a lovin' machine
Jockono feena nay"

Borowski in, now up 6-3. Kansas City retires the Tigers finally; after 4 1/2, Royals 3, Tigers 1.

4) I forget the adrenaline of a pennant race.....gees, every game now matters from here on out. And I can't stay relaxed with this guy on the mound....thank goodness our starting pitching is carrying us so far. One more month of it - can the fivesome of CC, Carmona, Byrd, Westbrook and the rookie Laffey hold up?


DAMMIT! Leadoff HR. 6-4, Tribe.

5) A side question: if I read a post on the Browns board, mostly agree with it, and then see that the poster's tag line (his signature, I guess) is:

"Milk, Milk, Lemonade.... around the corner, fudge is made"

um....should I assume the poster is 9 years old? And be ashamed of actually agreeing with it?


One out, bunt single. Now the tying run at the plate. C'mon, Joe......

6) Golf note:

*interruption*

GEESSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Double....2nd and 3rd, 1 out.....6-4. Now Hunter is up.

And now a Sac Fly.

6-5, 2 out. Who's up? Cmon, Sportsline......
oh God - Morneau

Ball 1

strike 1

We CAN'T blow this.

I don't even care that the Devil Rays put up an 8 spot in the 8th vs. the O's.

strike 2

foul

he strikes out looking. Game over. Somehow, we win, 6-5.

That's it. We can't go on like this. This is not a rarity, folks. It's gas on the fire every time he comes in. We can't last another month like this, can we? But what can Wedge do? Can you demote him now? Can you actually demote the AL Saves leader for the stretch run? Betancourt (ERA of 1.50 or so) is so much better than Joe (ERA of 5.50). But what can he do?

An 11-spot for the D-Rays in Baltimore. Dear Lord......Wow.

Ok, I'm done. Thanks to Joe, you get no golf updates. You will have to hear about the "best triple-bogey 7 I ever saw" (as quoted by my playing partners) another time.....

A Proud Day for Steeler Fans

Seriously?

http://sports.excite.com/news/08222007/v3375.html

Superbad and other items

This weekend has been one of the laziest in months. Now, I'm having to spend the day inside procrastinating before my football draft and the two reports that I have to do by Monday. Onto some random thoughts.

Superbad- This movie is going to get over-hyped very quickly. Carol and I saw it on Friday, and while it was excellent, I'm still not sure if it is in the Caddyshack category. I'm trying to think of who the two kids remind me of with their over the top swearing and sex talk and it hit me the yesterday that it is a combination of Currier back in high school and Ben over the past year. I remember hearing the way that Curr talked back in 9 grade and thinking WOW!!! And Ben has taken it to another level, with basically nothing being out of bounds at all times. If you like Ben and Currier, you will absolutely love this movie.

Superbad Continued- The movie theater that we went to was one right next to our house. You rarely find a theater in a residential neighborhood, but we have one and its kind of nice. The only bad thing is that you have about 100 unsupervised teenagers running around and acting up during the movie. Last week Carol and I went to go see the Borne movie and she actually got up and walk about 7 rows back up to tell two girls to "Shut the Fuck Up". It worked and I was so proud of her. Anyway, when we were actually going into the theater there was a bouncer checking IDs. All the kids were getting turned away since they were well underage. At that point I knew this movie was going to be great. And what a surprise? The theater was half empty and quiet.

Superbad Continued again- Take my review for what its worth. I am a sucker for high school movies involving jocks, nerds, cool kids, outcasts, and dorks. I actually enjoyed Can't Hardly Wait. And this movie follows the traditional high school plot line of two nerds trying to hook up with two hot girls. But it is the execution and perfect casting that makes this movie excellent.

Seth Rogan- I really hope he doesn't follow in Adam Sandler's footsteps. I'm really worried that he is going to get cocky and start to pump out some crap comedies. He is doing very well with 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and now Superbad.

National's TV Coverage- What the fuck guys? My camera angle is from behind the catcher? First it was cool, but now I feel like I'm watching the local cable access coverage of some high school game. And the quality of the picture and sound for some reason is always below average on MASN.

Mo Vaughn- Did anyone watch outside the lines this morning? It was nice to see Mo doing very well and actually being a active member of his community. If someone told me that Mo was 400 pounds and was a bouncer at a local strip joint, I would of been less surprised than hearing what he is actually doing now. Very nice story.

Went out in Irvine last night at the Spectrum with Ben and Carol. Its like this super outside mall (probably 200 stores outside) with about 25-30 big time restaurants. Very family oriented. As we were leaving around 10:00pm, we saw a group of young kids absolutely hammered. Two of the guys were carrying one of the guys while another one was just yelling "21st Birthday". Ben and I were laughing, but the majority of the other people were disgusted. Then Ben and I were thinking how fucked up we were on our 21st B-Days and how thankful we were that it was in a College setting since these guys were sticking out like a sore thumb. But when we got hammered we just looked like one of the normal college kids.

As the Browns turn....

Every year, NFL training camps open, and a few teams have a QB competition between 2 quarterbacks. For example, this year with Kansas City - should it be Croyle or Huard?

In rare years, some teams actually have a QB competition between 3 QBs. I believe Jacksonville had this a few years ago.

Well, we have a first here in Cleveland. A real, true 4-way QB controversy. Should the Browns:

1) start Charlie Frye, the defacto starter from last year but can't avoid the mental mistake, especially in the red zone?
2) start Derek Anderson, who played OK at the end of last year, has a good arm but has shown absolutely nothing in preseason games this year?
3) start Brady Quinn, the rookie who is still learning the new offense but has poise and talent - and led the Browns to 2 fourth quarter TDs last night?
4) start Ken Dorsey, who is the "veteran" of this crew and plays with smarts - no mistakes - even though the talent may not be there? And he led the Browns to a touchdown in the early 3rd quarter last night?

to be fair, no one is calling for Anderson anymore, but people have made cases for #1, #3 and #4 above. My head hurts just thinking about it.

(and - it's 9:54 on Sunday morning - and Kamerion Wimbley is still a STUD.)

Question of the Day

Is it acceptable to have sex while watching Chris Hanson on MSNBC on his "Perverted Justice" sting operations? I say yes, Carol says no. We opted in changing the channel to the Corey Brothers on A&E which distracted me so much so that we had to stop and wait until the show ended. I need to remove the tv from our bedroom asap!!!

Caption contest

If you can't laugh while viewing this insane picture, then you have no sense of humor.

That person with the Cup is FOX's own Ryan Seacrest.

Thursday Ramblings

Man, it has been almost impossible for me to get on here lately. I'm really disappointed in myself, especially with BuckSuperStereo changing his site and adding new tags onto his posts. Screw that. Onto the ramblings

• BuckSuperStereo- Good to see that you still have the old pizza cooker. I remember playing Bottom of the Ninth and having pizza cook off challenges (excuse for both of us to eat mass amounts of pizza)where you would use that pizza cooker and I would use the stove. Mine was better of course.
• Listening to the Pirates radio team the other night and boy are they terrible. Its like giving Gus Johnson 10 pounds of morphine. And since there wasn't a big crowd at the game, there was just so much dead silence. Oh and Curr, it was Slovak night yesterday.
• Detox- On Monday and Tuesday I went on a detox diet. Protein Shake, one piece of fruit every two hours, and veggies for dinner. Wow. One of the hardest things I have ever done. Really puts everything in perspective. How much food plays into my everyday activities, how big my portions were before this, and how poorly I ate. Don't know if I lost any weight, but I'm really thinking about changing how I eat.
• I love these. While the minor league blow ups tend to get old, the Earl Weaver one is priceless. I never heard the extended version one before.
• How the Fuck are the Yankees back in this thing. If the Yanks go the playoffs I'm either holding Jay or Eric responsible. I now feel like a boob for telling Jonny that he was crazy to think that the Yanks were still in this thing a couple of months. Come on Tribe.
• I regret not making it to Wiz's bachelor party. The text message I received from Lee on Saturday was priceless. "Just lost credit card roulette for $XXX". I want to maintain Lee's privacy, but let's just say that he set a record here.
• So happy Hardknocks is back on HBO. Herm Edwards is so much fun to watch, since everytime he gets animated I always flash back to the "You play to win" post game conference. And I love how NFL films makes every team look like they are going to win the Super Bowl. And for those of you that think that Priest Holmes will be ready for the start of the season? Um no. He ran two plays and couldn't go anymore since he was tired. He stated that he hasn't done anything for 2 years which included exercise or conditioning.
• Eric, I'm going to want your Browns prediction soon.
• Is it bad that I'm already getting excited about the Vegas trip? I'm committed for golf which I'm actually looking forward to, we have an excellent set up for dinners, and the crew looks outstanding with Lee making a comeback.

RIP, Phil Rizzuto

As you all know, I'm not a Yankee fan and I think the media is WAY too NY-focused, but my condolences are with the Yankees with the passing of Phil Rizzuto.

What is my first connection with Scooter? See the link below. This commerical seemed to be aired every day at 3:00 pm in the early 1980's on Ch 5 in Washington on Ch 45 in Baltimore when "The People's Court" was on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDQHQkuv9l0

What am I not understanding?

Detroit - Cleveland: 2-2. Big game in the AL Central.

Bottom of the 9th; our newly acquired outfielder Chris Gomez leads off with a double.

Next batter: Jhonny Peralta. What to do, what to do.....hmmmm..

well, apparently, Peralta can't bunt SINCE HE WAS NEVER GIVEN the sign to bunt! He never even tried!

Peralta struck out
Gutierrez sturck out
Barfield struck out.

Do major leaguers NOT know how to bunt? Dammit Wedge, what the hell goes on in practice??

If we lose this game......

Its been a long time

Some ramblings to hold you all over until the weekend.

1. Somethings took place over the last two weeks where I felt the need to change my posting name and login. Depositions and lawsuits will do that to you. It starts to make you think what will attorney's ask me about?
2. You know what gets under my skin? People that don't take responsibility for being ignorant. For example, someone buys a product they don't take the time to understand and then complains when that product doesn't deliver what they think it should. Its one thing to be upset at yourself for not taking the time to understand what the product can do for you, but its another thing to push all the blame onto someone else and take no ownership. "I went to Bestbuy and I asked the sales guy for a TV. He recommended one to me and when I got home I realized that it wasn't HD. That sales guy is an ass. Its all his fault that I bought a non HD TV. This is what our society has turned into for the most part. No one takes any ownership in anything that they do anymore.
3. Bonds- I now view baseball records like I view football records. Who really cares? I cared about Bonds breaking the record as much as I cared about Marino breaking the TD record. I really don't give a shit. And I'm sure in upcoming years the baseball HOF will be in the same category with the football HOF. No one really cares about it.
4. Be careful everyone, Eric is very sensitive right now. He is probably very upset with everyone on the blog for not doing their homework.

F&J Homework

Essay test for all of you out there. This is a real question, and if the winning answer is used, I may treat to a free $100 bet in Vegas of the winner's choice.

Please submit your reasoning on how a Christmas Tree Stand is a "household appliance". Your reasoning must be sound enough to be accepted by an insurance claim representative.

P S - unfortunately, I am serious.....

NutriSystem and me

I swear the following story is absolutely true.

Our son, Freddie (age 6), is starting to become a typical American consumer. Whenever he watches TV and a commercial comes on, he calls one of us over and asks if we can get whatever is being sold on TV. It could be Floam, the automatic Juicer, or Strawberry Shortcake. If he sees it, he falls hook, line and sinker for the ad.

Anyway, this morning I got up and turned on ESPN2 to watch Mike and Mike for a bit; I then headed into the shower. When I got out of the shower, Freddie has woken up and is watching ESPN2 in my room.

"Daddy - you need to buy this!"

Hmmm... I wonder what it is.

"It's food that will make you thin!"

He's watching those NutriSystem commercials that feature Don Shula, Dan Marino and Mike Golic. You know - they lose 20, 30, 40 pounds once they start the Nutri System diet.

"You can eat breakfasts, dinner, even dessert with this food!"

I think he memorized the tag line.

And the worst part? He comes over to me as I am wearing nothing but a towel.

"You should buy this food - call 1- 8-0-0-6-9-8... " and then he stopped because the next four numbers were "T-H-I-N", but I think he got confused seeing letters where numbers should be...

and then he slapped me on my stomach.

"See? Call this number and you can get rid of this just like the guys on TV!"

Hey batta, hey batta...

ESPN's perennially, wistful feature reporter/former kurt loder caddy at mtv news, Chris Connelly, just did a story about a little league in ohio that had banned dugout chatter for its inherently inciteful quality as hate speech or something along those lines. More alarming was the counterpoint little league in this story. A group of tennessee kiddies had developed a catalogue of ridiculous, sing-songy, field chants for in-game use. No more just swing batter, or way to fire, or one more tommy. This was like stuff japanese cheerleaders do on top of dugouts. And then at times they would just break into a chorus of "eeehhhh" that sounded like a swarm of ciccadas. Just awful.

And to think chatter was once such a nobel tradition; Frank D. tormenting young Chris Trout, Curr teaching DooWayne english one phrase at a time.

Iverson vs Edwards

So Derek and I had a little argument this weekend that we need to settle on the web site.

I was called to be a last minute sub for our men's softball league on Friday night. It was the playoffs - the semis of the winners bracket.

Just an aside - I would compare myself to a Rich Dauer type hitter. OK fielder, and definitely no power.

Well, guess who came up in the top of the 6th with the bases loaded and us down, 4-3? Yes, here I come.

On a 3-1 pitch, what did I do?

Ball Four! The game is tied!

Derek was completely offended by this turn of events. He channeled his inner Iverson.

"We're talking about softball here. Church league softball. Swing the bat, you wimp! This is softball....softball! You don't take walks!"

I then threw a little Herm Edwards at him.

"You PLAY to WIN the Game! This is the playoffs! I need to do anything I can to WIN- you PLAY to WIN!"

Even though I got thrown out at the plate later that inning, we ended up winning 6-4.

So I throw it to the jury..... acceptable to take walks in a men's softball playoff game?

(By the way, my line score for the night:

ab r h bi bb so

0 0 0 1 3 0

Meditation, anyone?

I mentioned earlier that Candace, my kind-of-sister-in-law, is in the middle of a 10 day meditation retreat. I got a email from Janice's brother Jeff which gave more details on what actually happens during these 10 days. The email is written by a former attendee who gives a first-hand experience. It's posted below.

My first thought is that I wouldn't make it past hour 6 at this place. And I'm not sure I want to look at myself "objectively" - I would then create a checklist of things I need to work on and that list would number in the hundreds, I believe.



**********************
...let me go ahead and tell you what I experienced. It is something I would recommend everyone to go through - it is only 10 days in a whole big lifetime.

The 10 day course aims at putting you on a path of self-discovery and correction with the final objective of making you a more sensitive, sensible, ego-less and balanced individual who is able to take the good and bad life has to offer, with equanimity.

You start after taking an oath to not speak for the entire duration of the course. It is not normal silence, but 'noble silence'. You do not communicate verbally, through actions, in writing not even using your eyes. You are not expected to look anybody in the eye, your eyes have to be downcast all the time. In essence, you live the life of a monk for those 10 days. Halfway through the course the silence really hits you.....

Additionally you also agree to (for the duration of the course): 1) not kill any living creature 2) abstain from lying (not very difficult as you are not talking) 3) abstain from stealing 4) abstain from sexual activities (sexes are segregated, so virtually impossible). 5) not use any intoxicants.

The course itself is very practical in nature and aims at experiential learning. The day starts early, at 4:00 am, which is the wake-up time. At 4:30 am you start meditating and this goes on till 9:30 pm, with recess for breakfast(6:30 - 8:00 am), lunch(11:00 am - 1:00 pm) & tea(5:00 - 6:00 pm). There is no dinner. In the first 2 days you realize 2 things - one, that you have a subconscious mind (or unconscious mind) that is nothing more than a junkyard, and; two, it is not in your control.

By the end of the first 4 days, all you manage to do is to get your mind to focus on a small triangular part below the nostrils with the line of the upper lip as the base. You think of nothing else but the breath coming in & going out of your body. Other than this, your mind is unaware of everything else happening around you & inside you. Then you use this heightened (sharpened) awareness to probe into yourself over the next 6 days.

You are trained to look at yourself objectively - at a physical level, as you meditate you feel pleasurable as well as painful sensations all over your body. You are expected to deal with both kinds of sensations with equanimity/equipoise/ indifference, being the observer. The underlying concept is that everything in life is impermanent, so learn to deal with highs & lows with a smile, objectively.

***********************

Quick Question

Fantasy Football is just around the corner and I want to come up with a new team name in honor of one of the scandals going on in sports. Any ideas?

Random Notes

• Well my mom is in town this past week and its been pretty uneventful. I taught her some new things like, you can use a credit card in the grocery stores and you can leave windows open at night and nobody will break in to the place. After this week, I'm really nervous about getting old. You become so out of touch with society. Maybe its just my mom, but I'm beginning to think its just a by product of getting old. Ugh.


• Ahhh, finally some good news at work. The high priced company attorneys were able to get my name removed from a pretty large lawsuit that I mentioned about 6 months ago. Once again, this is the only time I was happy to be seated across two Duke graduates. As they said, the greatest defense for a defamation case is that it is the truth. I will be joining these two Dukies today in four days of depositions of the two guys that are suing our company for wrongful termination and a million other little things. $500 an hour we are paying these guys and they are worth every penny. Attorneys are now added to the list of things that you don't cheap out on, which includes toilet paper, scotch, TVs, and whores.


• Carol has been gone for the past couple of weeks and I have been able to play 2 seasons of NCAA 2007-College Football. The Terps are on a 22 game winning streak and have brought home two national championships. With my mom cooking dinner every night and having the fridge stocked with beer, it has been a wonderful week.
• I want to bring something up that RRD posted a little bit ago that has me very concerned. What is wrong with wearing khakis, brown shoes and blue socks? Please help me out here. I have some light brown socks, but I don't like the way that they look. I've conquered the matching belt with shoes issue and no more pleats and I thought I was on my way. But now I hear this and I'm a little worried.
• And Eric, I know that you are feeling bad about golf right now, but I know that I speak for many of us readers here that if you don't improve and stop shooting in the 80s, you will be band from writing about your golf outings.