Random Thoughts...

More random thoughts...

1) Congratulations again to Derek for a) the engagement and b) the A's clinching. It's hard to tell which he is more excited about. If you use the blog as a gauge, we see that he posted three long paragraphs on the A's and a one-paragraph post (entitled "More Bad News..") on his engagement. Hey, I just report, you decide.

2) I hope people are noticing what's going on in the NL Central. Just 8 days ago, the Cards let the Reds by 7 and the Astros by 8 1/2. Now the lead is 1 1/2 over the Astros and 2 1/2 over the Reds. The Cards have lost 7 straight and - if they end up blowing this - would easily be the biggest choke in ML history. I'm sure that would put a smile on Derek's face, knowing who the Cards' manager is.

2a) Can you imagine the logistics if the worst case came to pass? The Cards have a make up game vs. the Giants that has not been rescheduled. If the Reds finish 5-1, Houston finishes 4-2, and the Cards finish 2-4, the Cards would be 1/2 game up on Cincy and Houston. The makeup game would be played on Monday (StL vs SF); if the Cards lose, then there is a three way tie; two of the three teams would play on Tuesday and the winner would play the third team on Wednesday... therefore backing up the NL playoffs until Thursday. Wow.

3) Did you hear the news - as Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up - that McDonalds is test marketing serving breakfast all day???? If that goes forward nationwide, I think this blog will sponsor a "Most Sausage McMuffins eaten in one day" contest. I could easily down 8 in one day. Easily. Hell, I've done three in one sitting at Vegas for breakfast!

4) So I log into Drudge yesterday and find the lead story being "Republicans to start launching massive negative ad campaign." This morning I turn on the local news - and I swear, from 6:30 to 7:00, I saw three such ads. We in Cincinnati are going to be inundated with ads from now until November - a competitive Senate race in Ohio, an open governor's seat in OH, and three separate competitive House races, one each in OH, IN and KY. We are ground zero for the political season - with the possible exception of Washington, DC, which will get zapped constantly for ads for the MD Senate and Gov, and the VA Sen races.

4a) My Senate sneak preview is coming. I promise.

5) Sirius took away one of my favorite stations and replaced it with an all-"The Who" channel. I'm pissed, but I feel like if I complain, I'll probably be the only one and they will laugh at me.

6) Thanks to all who responded to the informal Browns' poll - I respect your thoughts. However, this means that the Browns are really just one 52-yard missed FG from being equal to the Steelers.
You can say that reflects more negatively on the Steelers than it reflects well on the Browns - but you have to be consistent in your logic.

Oakland clinches the AL West

Wow, finally!!! I was getting nervous there after Street blew it two nights ago. What an amazing season. Despite all the injuries, we were able to still put on a strong second half on the shoulders of two guys. Bradley and Thomas. Chavez and Swisher made sure that we didn't start the season off going 10-30, with Bradley and Thomas just stepping up so huge during late July-September. Its nice to be back on top. I will be doing more of an analysis this weekend.

So with that being said, I will be attending game 2 of the A's playoffs in Oakland this weekend. Staying in the wonderful San Remo Hotel in Frisco and making the quick jump over to Oakland for the game. Carol arranged all of this and is a wonderful B-Day gift. She is now buying all of her A's gear. I will be wearing my new Bradley shirt.

Just a quick side note on Bradley...the media loves to trash him. Over the weekend he was tossed from a game and the ESPN.com story was that Bradley lost control, threw his bat, and got tossed. While this is all true, it didn't work in this order. He was called out on a 3rd strike, was mouthing off as much as everyone else does, and was walking back to the dugout, got thrown out, threw his bat, and then came back to argue. I've been watching Bradley for the past 3 years and he really does have a terrible wrap from the media. He is such a passionate player and cares soooo much for his team, that when he doesn't perform, he freaks out. Watching him in the dugout during the games he is the main guy at the top of the steps high fiving everyone and he does a retarded dance with Swisher after every homerun. The guy has become one of my favorites.

Let's go A's

More bad news.....

Well to build on the Browns loss and the A's not being able to clinch the division, I just wanted to let everyone know that I got engaged tonight. Yup, I'm off the market. Officially...Ring and all. December 30th is the date. Outerbanks is the location.

Your input needed

I'm taking input on how I am supposed to feel today after the crushing 15-14 loss yesterday to the Ravens. I have a feeling some of you in MD saw the game (and I provided about 1 1/2 quarters of play-by-play for Derek on the phone), so some readers may have their own, separate impressions....

I want to feel good about the progress of this team....

I want to get excited about the young core we have (Frye, Winslow, Edwards, Pool, Bodden, Jones, D'Quell, Wimbley....), the best set of young players since the return.

I love the fact that we have few penalties called on us.....

I want to hold my head up knowing we scared the crap out of the 3-0 Ravens....and we lost to teams that are (now) 8-0.

I want to feel like this team needs games like this to "learn how to win"....

but we are 0-3.

and we should have had last year to "learn" how to win.

and am I supposed to feel good about moral victories? What are we, Indiana football?

I've been waiting for 12 years for good football... do I have to wait another?

I am convinced we are better than the rest of the 0-2/0-3 teams in the league (Lions, Raiders, Texans, Bucs, Titans) and better than some 1-2 teams (Packers, Bills, 49ers).....but, again, we are 0-3.

I like our coach sometimes - and I'm not upset at all about the play call in the end zone.... but then I look back at the Saints game where we were completely outcoached and I shake my head.

I guess I'm optimistically frustrated. Does this make sense?

But we play the Raiders next.......I'm so scared of that game. If we lose, we are looking at 0-5 at the bye week....

(ok, mindless ranting over...)

Week 3 NFL Picks - "Now and Then"

In keeping with the "Price Is Right" theme for my NFL picks, week 3's featured game is "Now.... And Then". (Or is it "Now... or then"? Only Bob knows).

When picking games for this week, you have to consider the NOW - who a team is playing and where they are playing NOW - but you also have to start to consider who they have played so far - the THEN part.

Take, for example, the Baltimore Ravens. Everyone says their defense is back - back to a 2000 level. Well, let's take a look at the "THEN". They have played Oakland at home... arguable the worst team in the NFL since the 2000 Cleveland Browns with Spergon Wynn at the helm - and they have played Tampa, a team who has scored 3 points so far.

The sum of the Ravens' oppoenent's power rankings is above 60, easily. Now - take that into account before we say they are #1 in the league (I'm looking at you, Mr. King).

With that background, here are the picks:

Min 17, Chi 13. The Bears' opponents are horrid. Methinks we are overestimating the Bears a bit.

Mia 20, Ten 13. Who's better, the NYJ/SD pair or the Pit/Buf pair? A tossup, right? Then why is Miami favored by 11? (God help me- I'm taking the Titans again....)

Car 17, TB 14. I've thought about this game for 3 hours today - still have no clue.

Det 28, GB 17. This has shootout written all over it.

Buf 23, NYJ 20. The Bills have played the Pats tough and the Dolphins. The Jets also played the Pats tough and the Titans (a win). These two, coupled with the Mia-Ten game, has the feel of a World Cup group K where the winner of the group advances to play Italy and get smoked 6-1 in the first round. Have I digressed enough?

Hou 17, Was 16. Hou's opponents have been the underrated Eagles and the Colts. Washington played Dal and Min. Who's better? I think Houston. And this is in Houston.

Jax 23, Ind 20. Indy can not stop the run... and yet I'm too chicken to start Fred Taylor.

Cin 24, Pit 17. I am impressed with Cincy so far. I know, this is in Pittsburgh- but Cincy's running game will be too much, and Willie Parker will have another off day.

Bal 16, Cle 13. A 4 pm game - why? Bal's offense has not impressed yet.

Sea 20, NYG 17. Would love to see another Shockey moment - where he points triumphantly at the camera as the potential winning kick goes wide... then he realizes his mistake.

Az 20, Stl 16. StL has changed their offense - it's now a more ball-controlled offense. It's not a Mike Martz special anymore.

SF 26, Phi 23. I think SF is better than people think. Their opponents have been Az and Stl - the latter being a solid defensive team. Phi has beaten Houston and lost to NYG. They have a suspect secondary - and that's SF's strength.

NE 23, Den 13. Den has scored a total of 19 points vs. two average- to solid defenses. Aren't the Pats as good on D as the Chiefs?

NO 20, Atl 17. If any game called for the Monday night rule - where you always take the home underdog - it's here.

16 best bets. Last week: 8-7-1; overall : 13-16-2.
Min +4
Ten +11
Det -6.5
Det/GB Over 39
NYJ +6
NYJ/Buf Over 34 1/2
Hou +4
Jax +6.5
Cin +2
Sea/NYG Under 43
Az/Stl under 44 1/2
SF +6
SF/Phi Over 42 1/2
NE -6.5
NO +4
NO/Atl under 43 1/2

Ryder Cup and Spoilers

For no good reason, I've been excited about the Ryder Cup. I'm your typical "casual" golf fan, in other words I'll watch if Tiger and/or Phil are involved (or if Daly is bent over yakking on the 16th green).

But I've been looking forward to this weekend Ryder Cup matches. I'm getting ready for my morning, reading the Boston Globe and watching the Ryder Cup (in HD - nice!!). Then, in a sudden brain-cramp I go to ESPN.com and see on the front page the outcomes of the matches they are showing on TV!!!! Bastards. I knew the coverage was tape delayed, but I didn't care. I Tivo so much stuff now, I'd probably watch the New Years ball drop at 10:30AM the following morning. I think there needs to be a web standard for posting results of big events. Would it be too hard to create a collapsable item (i.e. click here for results??). They are so happy to provide "teaser" headlines anyway - why not help everyone out. We can get standards for everything else online, why can't we get this done?

Quick "Daily Geek" comment. A few months ago I bought a Convertable Notebook. The screen rotates around and allows the computer to be used as a tablet, you can write and take notes on screen. It has totally changed the way I work, I can scan in documents and mark them up. Take notes during meetings and conference calls (no more binder notebook), I can also record audio and review my entire meeting if I choose. I have become infinitely more organized now, as I am no longer shuffling through endless stacks of paper notes. It is really amazing. If anyone is in the market for a new laptop I would check out the convertable models and give the Tablet PC a try. It costs an extra $300 bucks for the "feature" (when compred to similar speced notebooks) but well worth it in my opinion.

New guy and picks

Here are my picks for college. They will go towards my 16...

1. rice over 48
2. Ohio St. -17
3. USC -22
4. Maryland -18
5. CAL -8
6. Washington ST. -10
7. ND Over 59
8. Louisville -13.5

Update: I was completely hammered when I wrote this last night. Sorry.

Quick Notes

Two quick thoughts before I go into a meeting:

-If you had to pick one team to win this week in the NFL, who would it be. I'm looking at Miami or the Bills. Now this is without the spread. My friend is in a suicide pool and wanted to go with the Bills and I told him to go with Miami. Thoughts?

-Was in American Eagle last night with Carol, a store I have never been in before, and I was just wasting time looking at their jeans. Could not for the life of me find a size 38. I remember having the same issue in a GAP store several years ago in Thousand Oaks. Are kids out here that skinny now that stores have stopped stocking size 38 and above? I'm going back to Sears.

Mazda RX 7

When did this car become a classic? I remember my ex girlfriend's friend had one and he thought that he was the shit. I would just sit there scratch my head and just smile so not to cause any waves. Yesterday I received a complaint call from one of our insureds who got in an accident that totaled out his 1992 Mazda RX 7. We had given him a market value of $4,000. He said that this was too low. So I asked him how much is he asking for and what proof does he have to support it. Well he stated that it was worth $40,000. $40,000 for a 92 Mazda??? Why??? He went on to tell me that these are classic cars and that he restored the car and it cost him close to $40,000. I was so stunned by his stupidity that I responded with "Sir, I can rebuild a 90 Toyota Camry for $120,000 if I bought all the parts piece by piece, but this doesn't mean that it is worth $120,000. Its still a 90 Camry. " I also went on to explain the true definition of a classic car and how he had to get it appraised and titled differently. He actually understood and shortly hung up feeling like an idiot.

Week 2 NFL Picks - "That's too much!"

Here we go - picks for week 2. A couple of the games have shocked me with their line - I can't believe it is that large. It's like the Price Is Right game - "That's Too Much!" When I saw the TB line, and the Dallas line, I immediately yelled "THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!!" like a good TPiR contestant.



I will start with the 1:00 games that I have no clue about:

Chi 17, Det 10. Does Detroit really have a good defense, after stopping Seattle for 9 last week?

Atl 20, TB 19. No clue. I'm still not convinced in Atlanta - yet.

Min 17, Car 16. Another game where I'm not sure about either team. Is Carolina going to continue to struggle without Smith? Is Minnesota decent, or is Washington that bad?

Mia 20, Buf 13. The 11 day rest will certainly help the Dolphins.

Cle 24, Cin 20. The Browns will bounce back - will it be enough for them to win?

Indy 20, Houston 9. There will be a lot of long Indy drives eating up a lot of clock.

NO 20, GB 13. Can you imagine the media next week if the Saints are 2-0 going into a Monday night game - at home -the home opener at teh Superdome?

Bal 24, Oak 3. Can they make this line high enough?

Phi 27, NYG 24. What a great game this is going to be.

StL 30, San Fran 23. I'm going with the "SF has no defense" thesis until rpoven wrong.

Sea 24, Az 17. Defenses will rule this game.

SD 20, Ten 13. A lot of running, a lot of eating the clock.

NE 27, NYJ 16. NY will stay in this for a while - but the arm of Brady will tear up the Jet's D late. We saw it last week vs. the Titans.

Den 24, KC 10. Do we really know what to expect from the Chiefs now?

Dal 23, Was 20. A close game - aren't they all?

Pit 17, Jax 13. Keep picking them until they lose.

Now, for the best bets: 16 of them:

(record : 5-9-1. Derek is 6-10).
Ind/Hou under 47 1/2
NO -2
Bal -12 1/2
Bal/OOak Under 34
NYG/Phi over 41 1/2
TB +5.5
StL -3
Stl/SF Over 43 1/2
Az/Sea Under 47
Ten +11.5
NE -6
NE/NYJ Over 37
Den -10 1/2
Was +6 1/2
Was/Dal Over 36 1/2
Pit/Jax Under 37 1/2

If you can understand the logic behind this...

then apply for a job at NASA.

This is the coverage map for the FOX NFL game this Sunday. Each TV market will be shown 1 (and only 1) game. Here is the map that defines what region gets what game.

Maps for every week can be found here.

This is The End, My Only Friend...The End

That's right, cue up The Doors. As some of you know I've been consumed over the past few months with the dissolving of my company. It’s a process that is still getting finalized, but the decision has been made – I’m out. Basically we went bankrupt in July. Well, we haven’t formally filed for bankruptcy, but when you move out of your office, can’t pay you bills or anyone that works for the company, that is going bankrupt in my book. I’m currently transitioning away from that disaster and doing contract development work fulltime. It’s a bit crazy right now, but I’m much happier now. It was like a bad relationship with a girlfriend, you know you have to end it, you know you’ll be better off, but you’re not sure the right time or how to do it. And in the end looking back you wonder why you didn’t make the move sooner since you are clearly much better off without her. Oh well.

Yesterday, I got my first paycheck since the 4^th of July! I ran to the bank like my pants were on fire. Its nice to get paid.

I am currently driving to the beach, with my son who hasn’t stopped talking since 6:30AM – so I am going to quickly get to some random things:

1. Chernobyl (AKA 2006 Red Sox) – Ugh. I was actually in Boston for the 2006 Boston Massacre. It was like the entire city was attending a funeral, and I guess in some ways they were. You know things are bad when your best pitcher’s shoulder pops out of socket (Papelbon) and that isn’t the worst news of the day because your second best pitcher was diagnosed with cancer. Thank god they won the WS otherwise we would have been subjected to 1 billion Curse/Meltdown articles. I think its safe to throw away my ticket from Leroy’s for them to win the WS.
2. I hardly ever drink alcohol anymore, but when I do I still enjoy it.
3. I am excited for football season, but I’m not EXCITED like I normally am for some reason. I’m not sure why, maybe its because we will be out of the house for each of the next two Sundays and thus am out of my normal viewing routine.
4. Speaking of football I wish the Pats just once didn’t have to win EVERY negotiation and not budge a millimeter. Maybe you give just a little to Adam V, and maybe you don’t initially lowball Branch on these negotiations (that they have known were coming since the start of 2005). They gave Branch a decent offer, but by that time it was too late. It should have never gotten to that. The major problem with what they did to Branch was they wanted to extend his contract not give him a new one. So there “real” offer was a 4 year deal (3 + 1 from original deal), and split up his bonus of $8 mil over two years. A far cry in guarantees compared to what Seattle gave him.
5. High Stakes Poker on GSN is a great show. I know poker shows are seemingly on every channel (I think CSPAN2 has the Senate Poker Open on next week), but this one is really great. The last show Daniel Negraneau flops a full house, only to lose to Gus Hansen’s quads, the pot: $450,000. Nice.

Stay classy Flotsam and Jetsam!

2006 Campaign Preview Upcoming!

Over the next several weeks, I'll start to preview the 2006 Election - will the Democrats rally to take over the House, Senate, or both? How many governorships will the Republicans lose?

Before we go into each of the races, here's an excellent post by Michael Barone summarizing the Democratic Sentate Primary in Maryland. A combination of political horse-race handicapping, statistics, and local geography. What's not to love?

2006: Cardin beats Mfume 44-40.

I had no idea that the make-up of the population of Maryland has changed so much, as Barone has said.

two quick things as I try to rebuild my databases

1. What happened to James Brown. Why did he move to CBS? The new guy sucks ass. Not like I enjoyed Fox's pregame before, but it was at least watchable for a few minutes. Now it doesn't flow with good ole JB manning the ship. And I can't stand JB, since his local morning show out here is absolute crap. Did he ask for too much money?

2. Why do I like Dirty Diana (Ben's girlfriend) now? I was just wondering this when I was talking up Ben's new married girlfriend today. She What has changed since my last post? Well the only thing that I could think of is that on Monday when I came home late and tired and find that she made me a plate of food which included some type of potato and cheddar soup and an amazing pumpkin cheesecake. Great shit, and none of this ethic crap I got from his prior girlfriends who would either make me some type of smoked white fish drenched in vinegar or mexican food that was so spicey I would end up shitting my pants for the rest of the night. Note-Yes she is married, somewhat attractive, extremely rich, and lives in an ultra exclusive neighborhood called Coza. Now Ben is a funny guy, but what the fuck? I'm sure within the next couple of months I will have an amazing post about how I had to pull a Blackhawk Down and extract a naked Ben from the bushes over in Coza while the husband is chasing him with a gun. I'm so giddy just thinking about it.

Wedding, Football, and Kentucky

Where do I begin? This past week was absolutely fantastic. This was the first vacation since my trip to Spain 2 years ago where I didn't do any work. Want to know why? Well my hard drive got fried somewhere between Eric's basement and his kitchen table. So much so that they had to hotswap my laptop on Thursday. And by Thursday I was in full wedding mode so I didn't do a thing until this morning. Ahhhhh. So nice. Here is the recap of items over the past week.

1. So my laptop crashed and I wasn't able to recover anything off the hard drive. Last time I backedup??? 7 months ago. And that hard drive is now corrupt and I can't get my lotus notes archive....Ugh. Lost all my pictures, databases, and reports. This will take me at least a week to rebuild everything. So today is now officially "Backup your fucking computer DAY".

2. When going back east, I will now only do week long trips. So relaxing and I'm not trying to cram family, work, high school friends, college friends, and other items into a long weekend. Made for a much less stressful week. So nice and relaxing and made me hate Baltimore a little less.

3. Had a great trip seeing Eric and the boys. Corrupting them might becoming my new hobby. Taught the oldest one to stop saying he has to go poop and now to say that he has to drop a deuce. You're welcome Eric.

4. Had a nice dinner with Wiz and Lee on Wednesday. Oh, and I almost forgot, I finally met RRD. What a dork. He fits the typical guy who graduated from Virginia.

5. At dinner, we came up with a great idea of having a golf tournament with guys that we know. Between Wiz, Eric, RRD, Don, Kermit, Maier, and several others, I'm sure we could put together some type of Ryder Cup Tournament. Almost like a Maryland vs everyone else Cup. How great would that be. Wiz and Lee vs. Eric and Derek. We could easily put together two teams of 12. Make Lee and myself captains and make the teams. Organize something for early spring back in Maryland. More than enough time to get a team together and plan for travel. And just think of the gambling options on this. Ahhhhh!!!

6. Speaking of gambling on a Ryder Cup tournament, Wiz just had this at his club. Great story. Two teams of golfers at the club and Wiz booked all the action. Asked him how it turned out and he said he got taken to the cleaners. Four figures. Ouch. Hope he learned a lesson on how to set odds. Heavy favorites need to be at least -600 and not -180.

7. Main purpose for my trip back was Jon and Suzie's wedding. Here are some highlights and lowlights of the festivities:
Highlights:
-Getting to see all the boys again on Friday and Saturday with all of them bringing their A material. Richie was in classic form and Currier continued with his onslaught of jokes and antics. Combine them with solid players in Dude, Keith, Neil, and Bruce made it a very enjoyable two nights.
- The video guy, who at first pissed me and the entire wedding party off by being intrusive and clueless, but redeemed himself by fixing our microphone issue for the wedding. He was upgraded from duochebag to cumguzzler despite continued problems figuring out who the groom was.
-OK, despite giving him loads of shit Suz's little brother Greg was fantastic. To cap off the week of festivities, I found him nearly passed out, lying on the floor in front of an elevator at 2:00am on Saturday. I hope he made it back to the room.
- To Jon, who wanted to dance with Suz during the last song, but was in the middle of doing shots with us, who put his shot down, walked away, and then ran back, slammed the shot after we were all heckling him, and chucked his shot glass on the grass. For a guy who doesn't drink, this was one of the most impressive displays of taking a shot out of anger that I've ever seen, which received a full round of applause from us (and mad respect).
-To Ariel, who was a dancing maniac. The best was when she was "backing that ass up" into me while my mom was looking. The look of disapproval was classic.
-To Richie, who walked in to the kitchen on Thursday night to see Suz, her sister, and her mom (divorced from Suz's dad) and was introduced to Suz's mom. He kept on saying that he has met her before, with Suz and her mom saying that they haven't. He then comes up with the time, location, and event where he thought he met her before, with Suz responding that is where he had met Suz's dad's girlfriend. Classic "ohhhh" response from us guys in the living room, with Richie just shrugging his shoulders, pouring himself a glass of wine and joining us on the couch. Classic.
-The band. I usually hate live bands at weddings since I feel like they are a waste of money. They normally play the same crappy dance songs that a DJ would play, but it is off tune. But this band, The Moonlighters, were the best!! I would actually go see them play in a bar. Blues and Jazz during the dinner and solid covers the rest of the night. And their appearance made them even better. All big black guys (with one women) that had little to no teeth. And when they introduced the wedding party, it was off the charts. When I get the video and sound for this, I will try to post. It was like a superbowl player introduction. I can not do justice for how they sounded.
-Overall great wedding. The perfect location, perfect people, perfect colors, and was perfectly organized. Perfect enough that my mom only made a few comments which was silenced by the overall praise of the entire event.
Lowlights:
- The wedding planner. All of us were calling her a fat pig, with Jon trying to quiet of down so nobody would hear us. She was terrible. Useless. I have at least 4 different stories that would warrant her being fired. But the icing on the cake was when the maid of honor didn't have the ring, with the wedding planner running up, without shoes, to give it to her. WHERE THE FUCK WERE HER SHOES??????? Seriously, did she eat them? And didn't she see that the maid of honor ran off the stage to find the ring? Where was she???? She is now in my top five women that I would have no problem hitting. I hope Jon reads this and post the name of the company that she works for so that nobody will use them in the future.
-Embassy Suites- Crap, crap, and even more crap. They were late with the bus, there was no rhyme or reason to where they put the rooms, and they almost threw out Jon because he was being too loud in the room. And the manager tried to yell at me to get back into the room, with me just laughing at him. I will be making an official complaint to Hilton on their operation.
-Women and weddings- They are all crazy when it comes to this. Even if they swear that they are not like other women, ALL women will go crazy during their wedding (or a friends wedding). Much like the below women.
-Bridal party- Why was it that it was the groomsmen helping out with all the wedding stuff two days before the wedding? Where were all the bridesmaids? Richie, Keith, Ray, Dude, and myself must of helped Suz, Amy, and her mom tie 300 bows around the programs and gifts. Where were the 7 bridesmaids?
- To the Maid of Honor- I like Amy a lot, but she was more stressed than the bride. And then she forgot the ring and trashed me during her speech. Nice.
-My mom- for bringing pictures of me when I was 9-21 to the wedding and showing them to everyone.
-Wedding Pictures- The groom saw the bride before the wedding so they could take pictures before. While I love the idea, to me this is like inviting the gooch to dinner and then trashing his mom. He might not strike immediately, but something might happen down the road. I'm just saying.....

8. The Browns- The game was showed in the LA area because of Reggie Bush. While Eric was not impressed with Bush, he did gain 150 yards in total offense (138 if you subtract his returns) in his first NFL game. What more can you say? So I watched the entire game so that I could talk to Eric about it. Winslow was impressive. Frye was better than average. But the offensive line was the worst I have ever seen. Frye had to scramble for his life on every single pass play and Droughns only rushed for 29 yards. Don't get me started on Droughns. I lost by 2 points in my one fantasy league because of him. If I would of started Barlow instead I would of won easily. Anyway it will be a long season for the Browns if they don't shore up that line, even if Frye can continue to scramble like he did. New Orleans is not a good team defensively. When the Browns do play someone solid on defense, Frye will get hurt. And nobody wants to see Dorsey at QB.

9. Bookie- It was so relaxing and nice not having to worry about any of this. Its nice to be out.

10. Ravens- I was seriously going to put money on them after Wiz told me that this was his lock of the week. How was the first week Wiz?

11. And to top it off, what would a post be without an office story. Before I left to go back East, I had the toilets replaced? Why, because I was tired of pissing on myself. I actually had handicap toilets installed. Well they were installed about 10 days ago and the handyman who did this, put the old toilets NEXT to the dumpster, not in the dumpster. On the Friday before I left, I told my management staff to make sure that the toilets are put in the dumpster or removed. Well, of course they didn't do this. So on Tuesday when everyone came back into the office from a long weekend, we had a collection of bums hanging out and sleeping next to the toilets. And what was in the toilets? Hmmmm...shit. So they had to call the police and the hazmat team to pick up the toilets. The garbage company would not take the toilets since they were soiled. So instead of meeting with my staff to go over results from last week, I had to have a meeting with my management staff about following my direction. Idiots!!! All of them are idiots.

Week 1 NFL Preview

First off, congratulations and good luck to one of our co-bloggers, Jon (Jorge Blogsada), who is getting married this weekend. That's the main reason why Derek has been silent for the last few days (and I've had the blog to myself).

Now for the picks. If you weren't with us last year, I predict every game's score. I then take the margin (and the total # of points) to determine the best bets for the week. If the difference between my margin and the official line is more than 3 points for a team, or 6 points for an over-under, that qualifies as a best bet.

The goal is to go through the season and pick the games at a 52.4% clip. That's the breakeven mark.

Here we go:

St Louis 24, Denver 20. Just a gut feeling. St Louis will be fired up, and wil be able to move (especially with Stephen Jackson) on the ground. Denver just does not seem like a dome team to me.

Tennessee 20, NY Jets 9. Tennessee has a OK defense - and that will be enough to stop the weak Jets' O.

New England 31, Buffalo 24. I don't know what, but I like what Buffalo has done and how they look. JP Losman has grown. And I don't think NE's defense is all that good anymore - when they are signing overrated, retired players (like Seau), that's not good news.

Tampa Bay 17, Baltimore 13. No idea. I don't think McNair wil llight it up in his first game back.

Cincinnati 31, Kansas City 27. I'm not sold on Cincy's D yet.

Seattle 23, Detroit 10. I am definitely NOT on the Lions bandwagon here, led by Peter King. Yeah, yeah, Rod Marinelli, military guy and all that - but it's Jon Kitna as QB.

Carolina 24, Atlanta 14. Atlanta, outdoors, vs. a good defense has never produced points.

Philly 23, Houston 20, OT. This will go down to the wire.

Cleveland X, New Orleans 13. I like the Browns' D, and I think we can hold the Saints to 13. Now, with Frye as our QB, can we score more than 13 at home?

Can we?

....

Well, OK. I don't feel good about this game, for whatever reason. Cle 16, NO 13.

Dallas 21, Jacksonville 13. I have to go against my heart on this one. Some one explain how the Jaguars are going to score.

Chicago 20, Green Bay 14. Favre will throw 3 INT, but will move the ball somewhat and get 2 scores. But the turnovers will lead to 13 Bear points.

Arizona 28, San Francisco. I know about the offense for each team, but what about the D I know nothing.

New York Giants 26, Indianapolis 23. The Sunday Night game is the new Monday Night game - home teams win.

Washington 17, Minnesota 10. See the question above regarding Jacksonville - how is Minnesota going to move the ball and score?

San Diego 30, Oakland 16. Any team that looked at Jeff George as a viable option at QB NOW is pathetic.

14 Best bets: (record: 1-0 so far)

StL +4
Ten -2.5
Ten/NYJ Under 35 1/2
NE/Buf over 41
Cin +2
Cin/KC Over 47 1/2
Sea -6
Sea/Det Under 45
Car -5
Phi/Hou over 37
Dal +1
NYG +3
SD -3
Was/Min under 35

With the first pick....

What is the most interminable week in sports? I used to think it was the week leading up to the 1st/2nd rounds of the NCAA basketball tourney. Sunday night, the pairings came out - teh first set of picks were made before midnight; Monday was spent listening to other analysts; and the picks were locked in stone by Monday 3:00 pm.

And then you waited.... and waited.... and waited....for Thursday to roll around.

Now, however, that week seems very short. This past week has seemed very LONG as we wait for the NFL season to kick off! The days between the last exhibition game and the opener have never seemed longer.

As always, I will strive to pick 16 bets for the week ahed - not all games will be picked and I will liberally use the over-unders - and I will attempt to be ahead for third straight year. Derek will also join me in that challenge.

So, here is the first pick of the NFL year:

Pit 20, Mia 10. I don't think peope understand Pit's offense. Ben is not a great quarterback -he is a great game manager. Ben does not make plays to let the Steelers win - that should have been obvious in the Superbowl. However, everyone is reacting to Ben's injury like this is an automatic win for the Fish here. I don't see it. Charlie can manage the game as well as Ben, and Mia's defense -while good - is not great and will not shut Pit down.

You all know I'd love a Pittsburgh loss as much as anybody, but I don't see it tonight - not at Heinz against an overrated Miami team. (Does anyone remember their last loss???? Does 22-0 ring a bell????)

Best bet:
Pit -1.

Do I have a gambling problem?

Two stories from this weekend that I will tell ... and then the readers can answer the question if I have a problem:

1) Went to Louisville this weekend with Derek to meet Carol and her family. After dinner, it was decided that the family will take an outing to Caesar's on the west side of Louisville... well, who am I to argue?

I was there once - back in 2002, stopping off during a car ride to Cape Girardeau. That's the only time I set foot in the place.

We went to the craps table - I threw out $200 - and the staff asked if I had a card. I said no, I didn't get one when I was here 4 years ago. They asked if I wanted one - I said sure, I'll add to my collection of Indiana cards.

5 minutes later, the pit boss comes over, taps me onthe shoulder, and asks: "Did you use to live in West Chester?" Shocked, I said "y-y-yes!". He said "That's the address we have in our system for you.... shoudl we change it?". I said OK.

I am now in Caesar's/Harrah's system?

2. We went to the track with the kids, Derek and Carol on Labor Day. The 8th race was a race simulcast from Thistledown in Cleveland. There was a clear favorite in the race - horse #3 - with odds of 3/5 or soemthing like that. A couple other horses looked good, so I put $2 on them to win, and then picked an exacta with the #3 horse to win and #8 to place.

The race is coming down to the wire - and the favorite (#3) leads by a good 5 lengths. A longshot - not mine - is in second. As the horses finish, the camera zooms in on the finish line and we see #3 cross first.

The next thing we see is a jockey laying on the ground. Three horses zoom by in a close finish for second. They replay the race - apparently, the long shot horse fell down/crahed about 30 yards from the finish, throwing the jockey off.

It is not clear at all who actually finished 2nd, until they show the results on the board - #8! A $38 exacta hits for me.

It then hits me that the longshot horse probably would have to be put down.

What is my reaction?

Thanks for the cash! Hope you rest in peace!

Wiz's Fake Boobs

Just wanted to relate a funny story from the other day. I know that I can't do the awkwardness and tension justice here, but here's my feeble attempt.

A friend of mine from LA got fake boobs recently, shortly after breaking up with her fiancee, who I work with. We'll call the girl Kelly and the guy Micah, just to keep real names out of this.

I get a call from Wiz while sitting in my office with Micah (my boss). They know each other from Vegas, so I put it on speakerphone. After exchanging pleasantries, here's the exchange:

Me: What's up? Hey, I have you on speakerphone with Micah. You remember Micah from Vegas.
Wiz: Yeah, how are you doing? Hey, don't you know a girl in LA who just got fake boobs?
Me: Nope, don't know what you're talking about.
Wiz: No, no. You told me about it.
Me: No I didn't. I don't know anyone who's had a boob job.

At this point, I can't hang up abruptly, Micah will know what is going on. But Micah doesn't know about Kelly's fake boobs, because they haven't talked since breaking their engagement off. Wiz doesn't know that they broke off their engagment, so he presses on.

Wiz: No, you told me about your friend from LA, Kelly, who just got fake boobs. You told me that we were going to see them in Vegas.
Me: You must be thinking of one of Derek's friends, I don't know what you are talking about.

Wiz (not getting the hint): No! You told me about your asian friend in LA who just got fake boobs. I remember it for sure.
Me: Nope, I've never told you about anything like that. Don't know what you're talking about.

After a little more back and forth, we finally hang up. Micah looks at me and says, "Kelly got fake boobs?" I desperatly try to avoid the question and change the subject. No luck.

Thanks a lot Wiz, you're a retard.

Two-sentence NFL Previews

After cramming for the past 5 days on the NFL and for my fantasy drafts (one down... one tonight... one next Tuesday)....the 2006 NFL season is now crystal clear for me. Here is what I see in store for each team:

AFC East:

4. NY Jets. What a mess. Pennington has a long way to go before I even remotely believe he is capable. 3-13

3. Buffalo. This team is making some strides, and JP Losman looks better. The defense in average, at best, which is their undoing. 6-10

2. Miami. The defense is old (Zach will have another season ending injury), and questions abound about Culpepper. Good thing they are in a weak division. 9-7.

1. New England. Process of elimination lands them here. Get ready to take the "over" on most of their games. 10-6.

AFC South:

4. Tennessee: A lot of the parts are in place, but they are 1-2 years away. Kerry Collins as mentor for VY - does anyone else see that as trouble? 4-12.

3. Houston: I am a big Kubiak fan. Not there yet, but this team will be markedly improved by the end of the year. 6-10.

2. Jacksonville. Can Leftwich carry them - and who will run the ball? Defense will win them 5-6 games this year. 10-6.

1. Indianapolis. Again, saved by a weak division; not as dominating as last year. It will be interesting to see how the offense adjusts without Edgerrin. 12-4.

AFC West: 4. Oakland: I don't want to jinx anything here, because if I call them out, they will turn around and beat the Browns. But there's not much positive here - Jeff George? 3-13.

3. San Diego. I'm not impressed with Riveers, and the division is tough. And who is still the coach? 8-8.

2. Kansas City: Someone, somewhere, compared Herm Edwards to Ray Nagin - always running around and seemingly in control, but nothing happens. Incredibly apt. 9-7.

1. Denver: Can Plummer keep it up - is he like a bottle of 1998 Shiraz from Australia? And I see that both Courtney Brown and Gerard Warren are injured.....shocking! 11-5.

AFC North:

4., 3., 2. Baltimore, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh. Complete and utter ineptness for each all year. Three way tie at 0-12-4.

1. Cleveland. Need I say more? Charlie is in the hall of fame next year, waiving the 5-year eligibility rule. 16-0.

More seriously....
4. Baltimore. I'm sorry, I'm not a believer. Rational people can debate this, I think, and respect each other's opinions - but Billick hasn't done anything with the O in Baltimore; why do people think it will start now with the aging McNair? 7-9.

3. Cleveland. I'm already on record with this prediction. This defense looks good and will have people stunned by week 6. 8-8.

2. Pittsburgh. God, I've gone back and forth with this. But I don't think Parker can handle the load, and the loss of Randle El will impact them more than they thought. 10-6.

1. Cincinnati. I've changed my mind after monday's game. I know, I know.... 11-5.

Playoffs:
Denver (3) 23, Jacksonville (6) 10
Pittsburgh (5) 27, New England (4) 24, OT

Indianapolis (1) 27, Pittsburgh (5) 17
Cincinnati (2) 34, Denver (3) 17

Indianapolis 31, Cincinnati 23

Now for the NFC:

NFC East:

4. Washington: I just don't like the way they look right now. I think I'm more comfortable with Cleveland's QB situation than the Skins..... 7-9

3. Dallas. I can't trust Bledsoe, and the TO soap opera will last the whole year. Still, there is a lot to like here. 9-7

2. Philadelphia. McNabb is back, and they will use the two weapons they just got (Stallworth and Gabriel). However, have you seen the back end of their schedule? 10-6

1. NY Giants. The defense is there, and I think Eli will continue his progression. God, am I picking the media's darling --- no, that's Dallas. whew. 11-5.

NFC North: 4. Green Bay: This team is awful. They signed our backup LB (Ben taylor) who got run over multiple times by the Bus - and expect him to contribute. That's how bad their D is. 3-13.

3. Detroit. Nope, I don't see it. RRD, is this the year we officially put Peter King away into the insane asylum? 6-10.

2. Chicago. Invoking the Browns' rule again here... if the defense is so good, then a) how did the Browns (and Trent Dilfer) score 20 on them last year, and b) 29 against the Panthers in the playoffs. Who is their QB again - and is he more provne then Charlie Frye? 8-8.

1. Minnesota. For whatever reason, I like this team. The team jelled last year without Culpepper; Johnson is the perfect QB, and the defense is slowing improving. 10-6.

NFC South

4. New Orleans. I don't want to oplay these guys at the end of the season. Bright times are ahead, although they need a 2nd WR and some linebackers. 5-11.

3. Atlanta. Overrated with a camera-mugging coach. Sounds like the NFC's version of the Baltimore Ravens. 6-10.

2. Tampa Bay. Simms impressed me last year down the stretch. Although Galloway won't have a career year like last year, Clayton will make up the difference. 10-6.

1. Carolina. Jon Fox is a hell of a coach. They have the weapons on offense, and a great defense - the complete package. 12-4.

NFC West. 1. San Francisco. Yes, sign me up on the Gore bandwagon, but Alex Smith is Mormon for "Tim Couch". Are there any impact players on D? Does Ronnie Lott count? 4-12.

2. Arizona. I have to - this is the anti-Atlanta Braves. Pick them here until they show you otherwise. 6-10.

3. St Louis. bulger being healthy is worth 2 wins, right? But that D is not improved. 8-8.

4. Seattle. Like last year, this team will clinch the division by Veteran's Day. But I think the fire just won't be as big as last year. 11-5.

NFC Playoffs:
(3) NY Giants 20, (6) Tampa Bay 17
(5) Philadelphia 27, (4) Minnesota 23

(1) Carolina 31, (5) Philadelphia 16
(2) Seattle 27, (3) NY Giants 20

(1) Carolina 33, (2) Seattle 23

Super Bowl 41: Carolina 27, Indianapolis 23

Denver

6:00am flights. Wow, what was I thinking. Everything at this point annoys me. The biggest thing at the airport that set me off are people who crowd me. We need to post some rules on how to stand in a line. If I swing my bag around to put it on my shoulder and hits two people, they are too close and its there fault. And why is it always Asian guys that do this? This morning, while standing in the security line, I was being crowded by not one but two frail older asian guys. So what did I do? I purposely readjusted my bag and clocked both of them in the stomachs. I turned around and gave them my patented head shake. Surprisingly they backed off for about 2-3 minutes until one of them stepped on my flip flop....I wasn't walking at the time. Well, I readjusted my bag again, hit them again and I turned around again and did another head shake. This honestly went on for 10 minutes. Apparently they were a part of a large Chinese tour (or the 2006 graduating class of MIT) and nobody had a clue what was going on in their group. Watching them trying unpack and go through the screening gates was too much fun.

Now I need to go find some scissors so I can put on my patch.

Poll Results

Well I'm finally taking down the weather poll. 22 of you voted for the beach while 10 voted for the midwest. Fascinating. Check out the new poll that will be posted today in honor of everyone's fantasy football teams. Who will be the biggest bust this year in fantasy football.

Culpepper- Why does everyone forget about how bad he was last year? Why?
Vick- Since the Mets and Tigers are doing well this year, I think that Vick might finally put it all together and actually be decent. I think I'm the only one though.
Gore- I picked him up by mistake in the 3rd round in my one draft and I had two people tell me that was a great pick. RB on the 49ers???? Hmmm I don't think so.
Delhomme- I love him. I had him on my team each of the last two years. But I also drafted him in the 10+ round, not in the 3rd or 4th. He isn't that good.
AZ Wideouts- Boldin and Fitzgerald were both gone by the 3rd round, with Fitz being gone by the early 2nd round in most of my leagues. You do understand that they might have to receive passes from Matt Leinhart right???? How does the clap affect the play of a QB? We will soon find out.
Alexander- Why is everyone just now jumping on the bandwagon against him???

Pile On!!!

Nice material over at Kissing Suzy Kolber. Scroll down to the "Time to Feel Better About Yourself, Unless You're a Browns Fan" post and watch the clip. I'm not even looking for shit like this and it keeps on coming. What is up with people in Ohio and clips like this? This is about the 4th clip I've seen about random Ohio sports teams.

Anyway, enjoy http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/

I'm going to regret this

OK, so I'll get to apologize to Eric in person on Saturday for this, but below is the Overview of the Browns-Bears preseason game tonight on the Orange Report blog site. Browns vs Bears, Griese vs Dorsey, feel the intensity.


Overview
This is an excellent game to watch as a pure fan of the sport. The Bears have not finished off the preseason with a victory since 1994, while the Browns are looking to end the preseason on a three game winning streak. Players understand their careers are on the line and the intensity level just seems to be cracked up another level. It may only be the backups playing but it gives both teams a chance to evaluate their depth. This is vital for two teams that believe they will be playing in January, when that depth will be tested.


So let me get this straight. The first line tells it all doesn't it? And this guy thinks that the Browns will be playing in the playoffs? WOW!!! I know that they need to be excited about the last preseason game, but this is over the top.

Two questions for the day...

1. Why are Mexican game shows so crazy? I have no idea what the hell is going on, but I guess if you put the Sanchez family in red jumpsuits and have them make plastic hamburgers on an assembly line while a crazy chef runs around girls in bikinis screaming, its entertainment???

2. Thoughts on a guy and girl sitting on the same side of the table for lunch or dinner? Obviously they are a couple, but why? I absolutely can't stand this to the point that I give them the ole stink eye and head shake as I'm reading the Journal. Are you guys that controlling that you can't have the girl sit across the table from you? Too far away is it??? A girl I dated out here did this once and got the "What the fuck are you doing" line and look from me. Let's just say that set the tone for a very wonderful evening.

I love my team, I hate my team

Yes, going to bore you with the results of my fantasy drafts.

I have already been in two draft - the first is an ultra-competitive church league with 10 players; the second is a $100 league with 12 players.

The church league (10 teams: in parentheses is the round that I drafted the player):

QB: Bulger (4)
Simms (11)
RB: Tomlinson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Gore (9)
WR: Fitzgerald (2)
Evans (6)
Horn (8)
Edwards (10)
Toomer (14)
TE: Gates (5)
Winslow (16)
K: Elam (12)
Wilkins (15)
Def: Chi (7)
Sea (13).

Very happy with my running backs; shocked that Gates fell to me in the 5th round. Derek is apopletic about the Evans pick in the 6th round, but I have a good feeling about him.

I am a big believer in picking up 2 good defenses, so you can play matchup each week; you also have to understand who everyone is playing during your league's playoff weeks. Sea has SF on week 15 and Chi has Det on week 16....

Now, for the big money league with 12 teams:
QB: E Manning (2)
Warner (11)
RB: S Jackson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Lundy (7)
Duckett (14)
WR: Ward (4)
Driver (5)
Keyshawn Johnson (8)
Bryant (10)
Toomer (13)
TE: Crumpler (6)
Stephens (15)
Def: Pit (9)
Mia (12)
K: Bironas (16)
Dawson (17)

Not feeling good after this. Having the 8th overall pick sucked - other options were R Brown (no), Jordan (no no no), C Williams (sophomore slump), Palmer (I thought about it). Eli in the 2nd is a risk; so is Driver and Keyshawn. I can't believe that Duckett fell that far - the 45th RB to go in the draft! I realized too late the Stephens and Crumpler are on the same bye week. Crap. Defenses are solid, and I really, really like Bironas. And I have my token Brown in Phil Dawson!

What would you do?

I was going to title this "What Would Jesus Do?", but then I realized that Jesus wouldn't get married....since that would introduce some sort of sin into his heart.....

anyway, let's say you are in this situation.....

- You are married
- Your wife (or husband) has a significant position at his/her job - so it's not like your spouse is the drive thru manager at McDonald's or something like that
- Your spouse's work has a function at a sporting event! They have tickets to a luxury box for the game.
- However, unfortuantely, the game is between the hometown team and the team you are a big fan of. It is assumed that 95% of the people in attenance from your spouse's company will be rooting for the home team and not your team.

So, for instance, Derek is married, and Derek's wife's company has invited the two of them to a sky box at Edison field for a crucial 3-game weekend series in September with the Angels vs. the A's.

So what do you do? Should you:
1) go as a neutral observer and not cheer?
2) go and root for your own team, possibly pissing your wife's co-workers/managers off?
3) change colors and for that day and root for the home team?
4) politely decline the invitation to go?

and does it matter if this is an NFL game vs. an MLB game?

Caption Contest

Well, after Derek's post on Deadspin, we find this doozy of a picture posted on that site.

The picture is safe for work, but may burn a hole in your memory bank.

Post your captions below.

Deadspin and Oddjack

OK, one of my regular sites has become the fabulous deadspin.com. Ccomical sports coverage with the best part being the comments section of each post. So today I was reviewing their Kyle Orton pictures and went into their old links to a site called oddjack. Has anyone heard of this site before? Looks to have massive amounts of meaningless gambling input for us losers to mull over on Fridays. Since I'm out of the business now, I'm sure I'll start to dable a little on some games and I might start to use this site. Nothing to look at right now, so I'll make sure it gets posted before the season starts.
http://www.oddjack.com/

Also, can we all give it up for Vin Scully? This guy is amazing. Tell me how he is not doing the World Series games? No cheesy color announcer, no random repeating of junk, and no self centered references. Just great play by play with great delivery. Does everyone know that he does all the games by himself? And he doesn't miss a beat. It would be perfect to see him do another world series and hear the feedback.

Finally, I just wanted to say it was nice to see the A's spank the Red Sox B Team. Why the hell would the Sox sit both Ortiz and Ramirez? Loiaza has been on fire recently. Did the Sox really think they had a chance without the two best hitters on the team? Don't know, but thank you Francona. 6.5 games up. Goodnight.

Laguna Beach

Really wanted to blog about the MTVs Fresh Meat show since it has been absolutely amazing over the last several weeks. No added drama, just some really interesting challenges and some great Survivor like decisions. Am I the only one cheering for Wes to win it all?

Anyway, I was able to catch up on Laguna Beach this weekend and was very disappointed. From everything that I heard I thought it was going to be great, but then was let down on many fronts. Below is the breakdown of this season compared to the last two seasons.

Kristen vs. Kyndra- What people tend to forget about Kristen was that she was the nice one in season one, but turned into a bitch during the whole Stephen's girlfriend vs. Stephen's best friend saga. So you got to enjoy a nice and sweet Kristen at the beginning and then you could relate to her becoming a bitch because she was protecting her boyfriend from LC who as we all know wanted to sleep with Stephen from the get go. But this girl Kyndra is just nasty, with no likeable qualities. Is she hot? Yes, but nothing compared to Kristen. Can you see Kyndra dating the next Heishman trophy winner at USC or Nick O'Shea? No, me neither. Kristen was pulling in all of the hot single and married men in LA for a solid year after the show ended. Advantage Season 1/2.

LC vs. Tessa- I really like both. Tessa's got that exotic thing working for her, while LC had that classic 50s look that I like so much. They both seem to have some set of morals, but they both are friends with guys that are total duchebags. Advantage- Push

Cameron vs. Stephen- When I thought that they couldn't put more of an idiot on the show than Stephen, they come up with this guy Cameron. Are girls this stupid that they go for dwebs like this? They are the reasons why Ben and I grill out, play Gin Rummy 20,000, and drink at home. The OC is filled with jackasses like this, don't get me started. Advantage- Push

Friends vs. Friends- Nobody will beat Taylor from last season. I still have the biggest crush on her. And who was that hooker from Season 2 that drove around that Mercedes? The one with the teeth the size of the Empire State Building and the 27 year old Armenian boyfriend? Oooh I loved her. So dirty. Throw in Jason, Talon, that tall awkward looking blonde, and the gay guy that made those trucker hats, and it was a knock out cast. The new season has this girl named Cami who despite having knockers the size of China, sucks ass. She knows that she isn't pretty so to get attention she puts her boobs on a platter and acts like a raging bitch. Not bad to have her in some scenes, but to have her as the best friend of the main character just doesn't do it for me. And Rocky is just your non descript blonde bombshell. She makes me yearn for Low from Season 1 (my mom's favorite). And the guys? Ugh. Mark my words, I will have a run in with that rock star Chase guy. I'm sure I'll be having a nice quiet cup of coffee at Starbucks and he will walk in and immediately take off his shirt and start playing acoustic guitar. I hate guys that take off their shirts for no reason whatsoever. What a fucking pansy losser. Advantage Season 1/2

Mothers- Is there any wonder why these girls act the way that they do? When Kyndra was going out on her date with Cameron and was basically wearing boxer briefs, the mom didn't say a word. What the fuck? All the moms remind me of the mom from Mean Girls. Don't these moms watch this show? If my mom watches, then I'm sure that every parent has seen this shit. Why would you agree to have your kids on this show? Advantage Season 3

Boobs- This is getting out of control. And its not only on this show, but everywhere in the OC. Young girls with massive amounts of cleavage. And its not me being a perv. While standing in line, Carol almost went bezerk on these two 16 year olds standing in front of us, talking about their late night while their boobs were popping out everywhere. Big ones too. No reason for this. It was a sunday morning, and I don't need to see that shit. Friday night is fine, but a sunday morning??? Come on. Put on some clothes. Advantage Season 3

Jessica- Umm, what is she still doing on the show? Can someone please tell her that she looks like a fool. I rather see her getting abused by Jason than her being pathetic with Cameron. This is what happens when your friends with the most attractive and confident girl in the universe. Your self esteem is shot and you become a doormat. I can't believe I actually had a crush on her. And yes, I know I'm pathetic since I had not one but two crushes on girls in a high school TV show. Advantage season 1/2

Jason- They put Jessica back on, but they don't have the king of all players on the show? Austin and I spent an entire lunch giving this guy props for the shit he was pulling. This guy had the dumb silent response whenever he got caught and it worked!!!!! This was amazing to watch and see that it work not only in Laguna but also in the Hillz. And I don't believe that he isn't cruising these high school parties looking for poor little girls to sleep with. Get him back on this show. I want to see Cameron macking on a girl and just see Jason sweep in and steal her from him. How classic would that be. That would make my year. On a side note, my mom absolutely hates him. She might hate him more than she hated Alicia. Everytime I want to get a rise out of her I just mention his name and she goes off for 10 minutes. Eric, try it for fun. Trust me, she will not disappoint. Advantage Season 1/2

My priorities- Is it sad that my analysis for this show is at least 4 times larger than my analysis for the NFL? Hmmm. And by the way, has anyone seen "Two a Days"? I'll be talking about this show later this week.

So its pretty clear that I'm a loser, I like boobs, and I like season 1/2 better.

Round 2

I will now railroad my day to give you round 2 of some thoughts that I want to share with you before the weekend.

1. Saw The Descent two nights ago and it was absolutely amazing. One of the greatest horror flicks I've seen!!! Not only did I jump out of my seat at least 5 times during the movie, I peed a little when I first saw "the crawler" appear behind the one girl. And yes, I know that I'm a wuss.

2. Do I get any credit for sticking by Justin Timberlake back when it wasn't cool to like him? When Britany dumped his ass, I remember defending him and saying that it was the best thing that could of happened to him. Now look at things. I'm tired of always being a little too early on calling out people that I like. Spice Girls, Olsen Twins, Kristen and LC on Laguna, Krispy Kremes, the double stuffed taco, and yelling out "backdoor action" at the BJ table...the list goes on and on. I think I'm ready to call myself a trend setter. Speaking of which, has anyone heard that song by Fergie? London Bridge? I have no idea what she is saying or singing about, but man that is a catchy tune.

3. Had my second NFL draft last night with the boys from my old softball team. Thought I was doing well until I looked at my roster and saw that I had 2 Cleveland Browns starting. Winslow and Droughns. So Eric, I will be cheering for the Browns this year. 10-6 here we come!!!!

4. NFL Gold Lock of the Year Pick: I was openly laughing at anyone that drafted Culpepper. What makes anyone think that this guy will be any good. Take away Moss and he is worthless. WORTHLESS!!!! Since he was the cornerstone of two of my fantasy teams last year, I remember how bad he was. Take the under for Miami wins this year. I have already booked it.

5. Did Don Vito really get arrested for molesting a 12 and a 14 year old girl? Too funny.

6. Great post over at Athletics Nation about the fall of ESPN. If anything proves this article more is the lack of coverage of the Reds, Cards, Dodgers, and Padres. Reds are tied for 1st for the love of God. Jeez...

7. Had lunch with an insurance agent the other day. Really didn't want to go since he sounded old on the phone and I've been so busy at work that I didn't want to take the time to go out with him. I get there at his agency and he has a sign up stating that he has been with the company for 60 years. 60!!! He also served in WW2 and Korea as a fighter pilot. Took some time off to help train pilots to land on aircraft carriers at night in bad weather. So many fascinating stories about Europe and Korea that lunch last close to two hours. If you ever have a chance to talk to someone who served in WW2, take some time and just listen to all the amazing stories. I have set up another lunch with him next month.

8. Cats- I was going to write something nice about Carol's cats who have been visiting me for the past week, but after last nights battle, I now hate them. Tipping over cups of water, jumping on my head every hour, snoring, scratching random things, getting cat hair all over the place, and just generally unfriendly, I now don't want any cats in my place. Ugh, this should be an interesting conversation with Carol.

9. So I've been holding off writing about the A's since I don't want to gooch them, but they continue to churn out another great August. 5.5 games up with 35 games left. Loiza looking great. Bullpen holding steady even with Street out. Thomas and Bradley are awesome as our 3-4. Payton, Kendall, and Kotsay playing above average. Chavez and Swisher are trying to overcome injuries and sickness while still playing everyday. We need these two healthy asap!!!

I'm back

Too long my friends...too long. I have let the evil Zahn brother take over the blog with pleasantries about golf and Browns, and I apologize on the behalf of my family about that. It will not happen again. I will bring the dark side back to the blog over the next several days. To kick it off, I have about 6 things I want to quickly comment on before Bill Simmons steals anymore of my thunder.


1. I have a wedding come up where I'm the best man. I'm thinking about starting off the speech with "So this family walks into a talent agencies office to pitch a new talent show..." just to see how many people get it. I'm not going to go into the entire joke, but just the start of it. Thoughts?

2. Speaking of the wedding, I went to OC several weeks back for the bachelor party. Great times!!! Its just amazing that our original high school crowd can not only still get along, but still have a great time, without missing a beat. I'm going to have to come back to this trip and post with pictures. Apparently there was a second camera on the miniature golf course that I did not know about that has some very revealing pictures of Curr stripping after Jon sank 3 hole in ones on the back 9 to capture the 4th miniature golf title. One of the top 10 funniest things I've ever seen.

3. Went through 3 full days of interviews with potential management employees. 5 interviews a day for 3 straight days with people that are supposed to be ready for management positions. They are recommended by their own local management and are interviewed by a person in HR, and two senior level managers (Alex and I). I'm always on these panels for some reason and here are some tips for any of you that might be interviewing in the near future on what not to do during an interview

• Do not bring in a pad of paper and tell us you want to use it to write down the questions that are being asked. If you write down "Tell me about a tough negotiation", I don't want you leading anyone. You don't think we know its a stall tactic? It reminds me too much of the Spelling Bee and its very hard to recover in my book when you do this.
• If you get nervous when you interview, which is OK, please don't do your normal OCD shit like zip and unzip your briefcase 30 times in a span of 5 minutes. Honestly, it makes ME nervous watching you do this, and once again I don't want you leading any of my people. This poor kid while ziping up and down his briefcase in front of us was also bouncing his leg so fast and hard it made me and the guy next to me openly laugh. This went on for the entire interview. He did not pass.
• If you know that you sweat when you interview because you are so nervous, bring in a napkin. I would rather watch you wipe the sweat off your face than watch it trickle down and then make bets inside my head on if it will drip on the desk. This poor kid looked like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter by the 3rd question.
• Remember that you are interviewing for a job that YOU want. Don't act like it is a chore for you to be there. You are not that smart and don't make me embarrass you in front of these other two by calling out all of your bullshit responses. Remember that we hold the power on if you will be a Claim Rep for the rest of your life.
• Chewing gum!!!! Honestly, what the fuck. It pissed me off so much that this asshole was chewing gum in the interview, I almost asked him to spit it out in my hand. Then I realized I was slowly turning into my mom and I stopped.
• What are some of these managers thinking when they recommended these people. I have one guy sitting there silent for 3 minutes while thinking of a response. And then he can't even respond with a good example.
• I'm sorry but if you ramble on for 10 minutes and then stop to ask us what the question was, I would just pick up my things and leave the room immediately. Thank god Alex had the nerve to say "Lets just move one" instead of repeating it.
• When asked "Tell me about a bad decision that you made recently" don't say I have so many to pick from. Thanks for the honesty, but please....
• Do not sit there and bad mouth the company's practices in front of us. You are interviewing with your own company, not a competitor. Jesus
• PLEASE unbutton your suit when you sit. You look like a stuffed sausage.
• If you are interrupted, or here the interviewer nod his head, just shut up. You answered the question correctly. Don't go on for another 10 minutes trying to explain something that is not necessary. FUCK!! This guy we interviewed almost didn't pass, despite nailing each question at the beginning because he just rambled on after each question.
• On a positive note, if you are an attractive women, it does not hurt to smile, make eye contact, and show off a little bit of cleavage. I repeat, it does not hurt. Know your audience!!!! The HR lady was not happy with me and Alex on this one. "Oh she was outstanding", "I would hire her in a second", and "best interview yet" received the "You guys are the biggest pervs" look. Not good.

4. Old vs New Laguna! I'm sorry, I've been so busy I haven't watched it. I have set my tivo so I'm hoping to get something up this weekend on it. According to several sources, the shit is out of control. Haven't heard from my mom on this yet, so I want her input before I post.

5. NFL preview. 2 teams in each conference fall out of the playoffs. Who will they be and who will step up? Let's see:

AFC Locks: Denver, Indy, and Pittsburgh. The Pats are now like the Braves to me so I'm giving them the East. That means we will probably have two new wild card teams. I'm looking at possible candidates in the Ravens, SD, Jacksonville, and the Dolphins. Cincy will fall out due to their schedule. Browns have too many question marks, but if everything falls their way, they could be in contention. Same goes with KC. Each of the remaining teams have major issues, except for Jacksonville. And they have somewhat of an easy schedule compared to the others, but they can't make the playoffs due to my rule. I want to go with the Ravens, but this seems to be one of those "all the pressure is on McNair' situations where he finally doesn't come through and the Ravens will be starting Boller by game 8" situations. The same goes for the Dolphins and Culpepper. SD is starting Rivers and he is totally unproven, despite looking good in the preseason. So I'm clueless right now. Absolutely clueless. Shit, I just wrote that the Browns might be in the mix. OK, I'll go with the Ravens and San Diego.

NFC Locks: What the hell is happening over here??? Jesus. The South and the East look super strong and the North and the West are a joke. Two teams to drop out? Bears and Skins. Two teams to get in are Vikings and Dallas. Everything else is the same. I really like the Giants to win it all this year. Carolina's schedule scares me too much to pick them to go all the way.

6. I know a Laker girl!!!!! One of my liability supervisor's daughters is now a member of the Laker cheerleading squad. Requests and demands have been submitted to her in return for a nice hefty raise.

On that note, I'm done. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss cats and the A's.

A few thoughts....

1) One more Browns' related post... there was a post somewhere authored by an AFC North fan who did his divison preview. He ended the Browns' paragraph by saying..
"Hating the Browns is like hating a third party candidate (presidential races and CT senate races excluded)."

Wow, one sentence that links the Browns and politics! Right up our alley!

Should I be offended by this analogy?

2) Played golf yesterday with a friend from Iowa who is in town... got out of the car, no warmups, went right to the first tee....

... and one beer and 3 vodka-tonics later, I shot 71, with 6 birdies.

Maybe I care too much. I should just take two shots of vodka before a torunament and show up 10 minutes before my tee time. And, as Don said, it's illegal to drink in tournament events DURING the event, but not before!

3) Who are these people that take a piss at the urinal and pull their pants halfway down their legs at the urinal? Gees - no need to unbuckle the belt, huh? Isn't that why zippers were made?

2006 Cleveland Browns Preview

Here is a sample of the thoughts running through my head the past week concerning the 2006 Cleveland Browns. This is in the form of a one-act play, with two characters: Happy-Go-Lucky, Optimistic Eric (OE), and Pessimistic, Cynical Eric (CE).

*scene: mowing the grass on Sunday. The voices in my head start up....*

CE: I see Mr. Head-in-the-Clouds predicted an 8-8 season this year.
OE: Well, sure! If the youngsters progress and the veterans gel, it is certainly possible. And we are better at every position!
CE: Let's go through those positions, then. Starting with QB?
OE: You have to admit Frye is better than Dilfer.
CE: Yes, that's like saying wine is better to drink than vinegar. And besides, weren't you all hyped up about Dilfer last year?
OE: Oh shut up. Frye is a leader and won games down the stretch last year through his determination.
CE: Sure, he has that, but there are serious holes in his game now. Like the deep ball. His deep passes make Tim Couch look like Joe Montana.
OE: Well, they say he's been working on that in camp.
CE: And in the games? that interception vs. the Lions was a duck. 8-11 for 41 yards means no deep balls are thrown.
OE: But he can lead. And I have faith in him, if the line holds up.
CE: If HE holds up. We have no backup, in case you didn't notice.
OE: Ken Dorsey is OK. And Lang Campbell has looked good.
CE: Lang who? Ted Lange?
OE: Lang Campbell, a rookie.
CE: What school did he go to?
OE: William and Mary.
CE: I rest my case.
(pause)
CE: Who is our center today, anyway? Willard Scott? Is he available? Did Al Roker get his stomach unstapled so he could play center?
OE: Oh shut up. Ross Smith looked pretty good at center. The line, while not great, is better than last year. Shaffer is better than L J Shelton. Ryan Tucker will be ready for opening day. Jeff Faine, last year's center disaster, is not here .
CE: Yeah, he's with the Saints. Can anyone say "110 yards, 2 TD" for McAllister in week 1?
OE: The line of Shaffer, Coleman, Ross Smith/Ephraim, Andruzzi, and Tucker is not bad, not bad at all.
CE: But we have no depth there. None. If anyone goes down, it's Nat Dorsey
OE: Yeah, that's not good.
CE: Did you see that play in Philly? Nat Dorsey let the end get by him, and as Nat was struggling to recover, he fell on top of our quarterback. Nice job there, Nat.
OE: Should have never let those good Maryland offensive linemen like Melvin Fowler go.
CE: Running backs?
OE: Droughns is back and looking good, and we have the best fullback in football, Terrelle Smith, in front of him.
CE: He's so overrated. When push came to shove, he got shoved. Remember Oakland?
OE: unfortunately, I do.
CE: 1st and goal at the 2 - four straight runs for the Browns, did not get in each time. A premier fullback makes the holes for the touchdowns.
OE: Still, Reuben did get 1000 yards last year - a first for the Browns in 20 years.
CE: That and $3.50 will get you a cup from Starbucks.
(pause)
OE: Well, Charlie has weapons in the receiving core, finally. Kellen - the Souljah - looks good and he is ready to shock the world!
CE: Oh stop that. You sound like Vanilla Ice. And besides, you didn't put your money where your mouth is.
OE: Huh?
CE: You just bought a jersey, right?
OE: Yeah...
CE: So, if you believe in Winslow so much, did you buy a #80 jersey?
OE: Well, no, I bought a Frye jersey.
CE: You're a racist! Why not a Winslow jersey?
OE: Well, I don't know if he gave up the motorcycle....
CE: Or Braylon? Why not a Braylon jersey?
OE: He's not keeping the #17 forver, is he? What is he, Jim Jensen? And besides, I have a Willie Green jersey in my closet!
CE: Your brother bought that for you. The last African-American player's jersey that you bought was Eric Metcalf.
OE: Hey, I'm diverse! I have a homosexual player's jersey in my closet!
CE: What?
OE: Yes - My Jeff Garcia jersey from 2 years back!
(lots of rolling of eyes)
CE: On to the receivers. Braylon, Jurevicius, and Northcutt. That's the plan, huh?
OE: Jurevicius is better than the inconsistent Bryant. Braylon will be a star.
CE: He's coming off of an ACL injury. That's not good.
OE: Assuming he's ok, then we have a good starting 2, with Northcutt behind him.
CE: You mean Dropcutt? Those three are average.
OE: I think, by the end of the year, they will be in the top 12 of the league.
(pause)
OE: I bet you are going to try to say something negative about the defense.
CE: It is our strongest area. Let's look at the line first.
OE: Ted Washington has looked great for us at Nose Tackle. He is a force to be reckoned with.
CE: Compared to last year, an anthill would look tougher than Jason Fisk. And Ted is, what, 67 years old?
OE: 38, but he's a young 38.
CE: And soon to be an injured 38.
OE: He clogs up the middle to let the ends and the linebackers make plays. And our ends- Roye and McKinley - are solid. Now they - and the linebackers - can do damage with the attention on Washington.
CE: I don't know about solid, but adequate is a good description. Remember - not much of a pass rush last year with the same guys...
OE: Except now we have Washington instead of an airport runway. It's completely different. And speaking of different, how about the linebackers. What a change. Willie McGinest on the outside...
CE: Who? Has he played yet?
OE: No, but Romeo has said he'll be ready for week 1. McGinest and the rookie, Wimbley, on the outside will make their presence known. It's already better than last year's tandem of Matt Stewart and Mr. West-Texas-A&M, Chaun Thompson.
CE: Another busted Butch draft pick? Say it ain't so! But you are still pinning your hopes on a rookie in an important position in the 3-4 defense, the linebacker. Wimbley has skills, yes, but it will take time to learn the defense.
OE: Wimbley has looked awesome in the preseason!
CE: What's the Vegas line on the season-ending injury for the Browns' #1 draft pick? I hear Imperial Palace has it at week 6.5.
OE: Just stop. Can't I believe, just once, that a rookie will stay with us the whole year?
CE: And who was the last rookie to do that?
OE: (thinking.....) Tommy Vardell??
CE: Ugh.
OE: Well, we have two rookies at LB. Inside it looks like the young Terp D'Quell Jackson will start alongside Andra Davis.
CE: Even Leland can't say too many bad things about DQ. However, again, this is the question of youth. Two rookie starting linebackers in a 3-4? You really want to put stock in this?
OE: It's much better than Thompson and Stewart last year. And the corners are going to be great. Bodden and Baxter are studs. Bodden actually got Chad Johnson to shut up last year, and forced Chad to put a check mark in the "yes" box on Chad's "can they cover me?" whiteboard.
CE: That was great. However, what about the other corner..Gary.... Gary.... GAry who?
OE: Just stop.
CE: This is now season 2 of injuries with Baxter. A strained pec?
OE: He'll be ready for week 1.
CE: And when will he go out again?
OE: But we have depth in McCutcheon!
CE: He's proven to be undersized. A good backup, an average starter.
OE: Bodden to the Pro Bowl. Book it.
CE: But what about the secondary? Two youngsters out there? An average Matt Russell to float around?
OE: Sean Jones will be good. He and Brodney Pool - 2 second-year guys - will be fighting it out alongside Russell. Both are better than last year's starter, Chris Crocker.
CE: I agree, but these are two youngsters again. I'm a little wary.
OE: All in all, this defense can be good. Not 2000 Ravens good, but a solid defense that will hold teams to minimal points. Last year - remember? We held the Colts to 13 points...
CE: loss
OE: The Bengals - at home - to 23..
CE: loss
OE: The Raiders to 7...
CE: OK, that doesn't count.
OE: The Lions to 13, the Bears to 10, the Ravens under 20 twice
CE: Oh yes, all compare nicely to the 1984 Dolphins...
OE: Last year, we were 16th in yards per game, 11th in scoring defense, just behind the vaunted Baltimore defense. And we will be better this year.
CE: I agree, we will be better. Even I may think about drafting the Browns defense in a fantasy league.
OE: As a starter?
CE: No, as the second string.

OE: Special teams are solid. Dawson is a good kicker...
CE: I agree. Not enough credit for Phil...
OE: And our punting situation is hopefully solved.
CE: No more Mr. Coffin Corner Derrick Frost, or overrated Kyle Richardson. Let's hope Zastudil punts as well with us as he did with the Ravens.
OE: And Northcutt to return punts...
CE: So what? We have to eliminate the flags on the returns! Last year,we had 9 return touchdowns called back due to penalties!
OE: It was just 2, but....
CE: And one already this year in preseason.
OE: Romeo will fix that.
CE: When?

OE: All in all, the defense is solid and could be very good; if the offense comes together, if Frye keeps developing, if Braylon comes back healthy, and if we avoid any more injuries on the OL, then this team could even go 10-6.

CE: If, If, If..... As Kermit would say:
If "Ifs" and "Buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.
6-10, with the usual Browns' luck this season.

Ryder Cup Blogging

Well, 10 of the 12 spots for the US Ryder Cup team are all set. Six are Ryder Cup veterans:

Tiger Woods
Phil Mickelson
Jim Furyk
David Toms
Chad Campbell
Chris DiMarco

along with four - FOUR - rookies:

J J Henry
Brett Wetterich
Zach Johnson
Vaughn Taylor

Yikes. Out of the four rookies, no one - MAYBE Zach - strikes any fear into the hearts of the Europeans.

Lehman will announce his 2 captain picks on Monday. I think Davis Love III is a lock for one of them. Who will be the second? Tim Herron? Stewart Cink? Corey Pavin?

I'm rooting for Fred Funk. I think he will be a key player on a shortened K Club course (Europe's captain, Ian Woosnam, has already said he will set up the course to negate the American's length advantage) - and Funk won't be affected by it. Also, he'd be a great veteran presence on this team.

I can't argue if it's Pavin, however.

NFL Team Predictions

OK, time to post predictions for NFL teams.

Every team in the NFL has a similar schedule:

a) 6 games within the team's division
b) 4 games vs. another division in the same conference
c) 4 games vs. another division in the other conference
d) 2 games vs. team in the same conference based on last year's record; a team that finished in first (like Cincy) would play two division winners (NE and IND), while a team that finished 3rd (Bal) would play two teams who finished 3rd (Buf and Ten).

So, let's look at the Browns' schedule. Please note, this assumes that we will have a center on opening day. We now have lost 3 centers for various reasons (season-ending injury, retirement, and now drug charges), so this assumption may not be valid on Sept 10th.

a) Division games: Last year, we were 1-5. I do believe that we have grown enough to get 2 wins in the division this year. I see a win vs Bal at home and a win vs. Cincy (either away or at home). Even with my rose-colored glasses, I don't see a Pit win in store for us this season.

b) 4 games vs. division in the AFC: The AFC West.
The Browns got screwed here, playing the weaker teams on the road and the tougher teams at home:
@ Oak, @ SD
h KC, h Den
I think that they will beat Oakland (Charlie beat them last year at Oakland), and will have a chance at beating San Diego (I'm not sold on Phillip rivers) and may steal a home game vs. Den or KC.

I'll give them two wins here. 2-2.

c) 4 games vs. division in the other conference: The NFC South.
Browns get:
h NO, h TB
@ Atl, @ Car

I like what New Orleans is doing and think that they could be a force down the line, and I'm glad I'm playing Reggie Bush now instead of 2 years from now when he blossoms. I'm glad we get them in the opener before they start to jell. Let's just say if that the Browns lose on Sept 10th, I will be massively depressed.

Can we get another win? I have no illusions about Carolina; the early line on that game is probably Car -12 1/2. I do think we have a decent shot at an overrated Atlanta team - we do fairly well stopping the run, and Atlanta can't pass with Vick. Barring a Matt Schaub appearance, I say we steal this one.

2-2 here.

4) Conference games vs "like" teams:
h NYJ
@ Hou

Well, we certainly should beat the Jets at home. But 2006 could shape up like 2005, in terms of inferior opponents for teh Browns. The Jets' schedule :
@ Ten, NE, @Buf, Ind, @ Jax, Mia, Det.....
they could go 0-7 for that stretch.
And then they come to Cleveland.
Last year, of course, the Texans went 0-6 until they played... the Browns. And the texans won an UGLY game for their first win.

Could history repeat itself? It could, but I say no. We win that one in a squeaker, 13-9.

And we go to Houston for the last game of the season and win that, too.

2-0 for these games.

Where did we end up?
2-4
2-2
2-2
2-0

ends us up with an overall record of 8-8 for the Browns.

This weekend

It has been so crazy over the past several weeks that I haven't had a chance to blog. So tomorrow morning after my run, I'm going to Starbucks and post about these items:

• How much I hate Starbucks
• Jon's bachelor party weekend in Ocean City (no naked pictures of Curr will be posted)
• Athletics Nation vs. Halo Haven blog battle (it is nerdier than it sounds)
• Ben's married chick from Cleveland who has become way to comfortable in my living room
• NFL predictions (I know that Eric is dying for this one)
• New Laguna Beach vs. Old Laguna Beach

Social Studies Assignment for Wednesday

Lot of new posts here today - and more to come, I believe.

Here is a Social Studies assignment for today:

Background: I pulled into the parking lot at work today to see the person in front of me getting out of his car and putting up a windshield visor. (You know - a windshield visor, something you put inside your car to prevent the sun from coming in through the front windshield. Is that what they are called?)

The visor had logos of different casinos from Vegas on it! However, on a closer look, it was only logos from the "Coast Casinos" group. Apparently, there are four casinos in this casino corporation. All four logos were present on the visor; the logos were from:

- Gold Coast Casino
- Suncoast Casino
- Barbary Coast Casino
- and, of course, The Orleans.

Assignment: Please provide a physical description of the owner of the car and the visor. As a bonus, please provide the make and model of the car the person was driving.

Browns update

When our Pro Bowl center, LeCharles Bentley, went down in trainig camp 2 weeks ago and was lost for the season, I wrote:

The productivity of our offensive line is now in the hands of.... Bob Hallen!?!?

Well, I may have to revisit that.

Bob Hallen has left camp, considering retirement.

Anybody know a center who's looking for a job? Call Phil Savage in Berea immediately.

Election Blogging

Some people may know that I am an election junkie; coming up this fall will be an on-going preview of the 2006 elections.

Tonight, however, could be a historic election in its own right. The Joe Lieberman-Ned Lamont primary battle ended today; results should be in shortly.

Basically, the Democratic party may be ready to dump an incumbent Senator who was their Vice-Presidential nominee just 6 years ago in favor of a political newcomer. The reason is solely for the Senator's stance on the Iraq War.

I'm not saying it is right or wrong - it is just fascinating to see a possible realignment of a political party in real time as it occurs. For the record, I applaud the effort to give voters more choices, and find the argument that no one should oppose the Senator because he is an incumbent as absurd.

As of now, it is Lamont 51.7%, Lieberman 48.3%, with about 70% of the precincts reporting. Stay tuned.

Golf updates (and other stuff)

Sorry for the non-blogging for a while. Two big golf tournaments over the past few days. Let me try to recap:

1) Last week was the Ohio Public Golfer's Tournament at Apple Valley GC in Mt Vernon. I shot a mediocre 79-77-76 for a 232 (+16), missing the cut for the 4th round by a few strokes. I finished 80th or so out of 240 that started.

I made one birdie in 54 holes, with 6 3-putts (some were 60 footers from the fringe) in the first 27 holes. Couldn't make anything.

The highlight of the tourney came in the 2nd round on my last 9, when I was fighting to make the cut after 36 holes. It was set at 156; I knew I needed a 38 on my last nine (the front nine) to make the cut.
We were playing with a high schooler who could bomb the ball but had no short game whatsoever. He shot 89 the first day, and 5-putted the 11th on the 2nd day. We come to the 5th hole, our 14th, a 140 yard par 3 over water. He pulls out a driver - yes, a driver - and half-swings it. It goes into some trees on the right, and kicks out but rests up against the retaining wall for the hazard. Two whiffs later, he elects to go back and drop; he thins the drop over the green into the trees behind the green; he makes an 11 and withdraws. He loses my card in the process. Classic high-school immaturity.

Another guy we played with was a college golfer at Cedarville. Here was his card for the final nine:

Par 445 435 344 - 36
Score 434 254 235 - 32

A double and a bogey, and still shoots 32. Amazing.

2) Then yesterday was the US Mid-Am Qualifier at TPC at River's Bend here in Cincinnati. Course was set up at 7200 yards, with almost all pins tucked. 95 people fighting for 5 spots that will go to the national event.

Don and I talked beforehand that 73 or 74 may be good enough to make it - a perfect scenario for a grinder like me. Well, after a bogey on 1, a 3-putt bogey on 2, a bogey with a wedge from the rough on 4, and a double on a par 5 (no penalties), I was +5 after 6. A birdie and a bogey later, I made the turn in 41.

But I was convinced the course was playing even tougher than we thought, and I remarked to my caddy that "hey, shoot 34 this nine, and we may have a shot".

I started with a 9 iron to 8 feet on 10, made the putt for birdie; I got screwed on 11 witha good approach but still made par. I had to shoot at a tucked pin on 12 and made bogey.

The next three holes were par 4's of 430, 465 and 470. I parred 13, shot for the pin on 14 and made bogey, and made a great par on 15. I bogeyed 17 - again, shooting at the pin - but birdied the easy par 5 18. 41-37= 78. I felt pretty good as I left the green - played very well on the back nine, shooting 37 on a tough nine.

Then I saw the scores. There were many withdrawals out there. I saw nothing but 80s on a couple of pages of the leaderboard. With about 40% of the scores in, I was in 4th place.

My heart sank, and I felt sick. Dammit, why did I waste all those strokes on the first 6 holes?

I ended up in 13th, 2 shots out of a playoff for the 5th spot. Last year, in Chicago, I finished 2 out of the last spot as well (with a double on 3).

One of these years, I will make a USGA national event. I'll keep plugging.

(One of Derek's co-workers was in the Columbus qualifier today. If the results are good, I will post).

Other topics:

1) How many fantasy football leagues are too many? I'm going for 3 competitive leagues this year - 3 leagues that are serious and require a lot of attention. Too much? Not enough? I think this is about right.

2) Went to the Ohio State Fair this weekend. That is a fascinating place for people-watching. What an amazing amalgam of hoi polloi. Every section of society was represented there. Too many obscene/random/weird t-shirt slogans to mention. A Tim Couch jersey was spotted.

We were in the cake exhibit (don't ask - purely Janice's idea) and there was a contest for the "ugliest" cake decoration. Some cakes were decorated like a garbage can, complete with the rats; others were decorated as a sewer.
One cake in this category was a well-designed, colorful cake; it was a blue cake with yellow trim. There was one letter onthe top of the cake - a neatly designed letter "M".
I'm sure this cake will be the winner of the ugliest cake contest.

3) What the hell is Final Fu?

4) I'm now addicted to Project Runway. And, thanks to Instapundit, here is an unofficial Project Runway blog that skewers everybody (even my girl Bonnie! I was sad to see her go.)

Crazy People

This is the shit that I have to put up with everyday. This is one of our insureds who claims that his vehicle was stolen and then in an accident. Well the accident happened close to the border, so we decided to check the logs from the border patrol to see if his car crossed the border. Well it did, and his name and ID was checked and copied due to some issues at the border, during the time he stated that the car was stolen. We were planning to deny his claim due to fraud but he never showed up for his EUO. So we denied based on being hostile. Anyway, our attorneys send out a 12 page denial to this guy and here is a section of the letter that he sent back. Not too sure who the "we" is, and this is is third company that he is a CEO of in a span of 3 months. Also, what is "blog the media". I probably get letters like this once a month that require a shitload of work since I have to have meetings with my boss, corporate counsel, and our complaint department as they take each complaint seriously. Since being at the new office I have filed 3 restraining orders on insureds because of shit like this. Looks like I will be completing my 4th. But this one was so over the top it had me crying. Enjoy.

...These are just a few of the numerous Federal, State, and Civil Rights violations upon which you allowed to continue. You will be surprised at the amount of violations we have against you; and this is also in conjunction to the house claim which you grossly violated laws pertaining to seniors. We hope you understand the weight that this carries to your organization and leadership role. Our investigation will not only clear this family of the finanical, Physical, emotional, and undue stress that your office has placed, but we will send a message not only to the media, but to the people upon whom your company has neglected, overcharged, and defrauded. I suggest if you have some sense, that you will come to the table with me (Ernest C. Sari) as CEO of Street Smart Investment Club because we are prepared to take this not only to court, but will blog the media, and will make sure this is spread nationwide. If you stand and play hardball, I will personally request a federal indictment and hold you responsible and we will not only win, but will more than likely have control of your company. We are prepared to sue in excess of 60 - 200 million dollars and will request control of Farmers. Please do not disregard this notice.

We already have hard evidence, so any shredding and or tampering with paperwork will do you no good. I am giving you 7 business days to respond. If you cannot make a decision or respond to this without incriminating yourself, then I suggest you forward this to an arbitrator or someone that can make a decision, otherwise we will deem this as a no contest decision and forward this to the DA and a Judge.