5. Princess Leah's Line from Star Wars- Whenever someone is bitching at me (Ben), I've started to use Leah's line to Darth Vader when he pulls over her ship. "Lord Vader I should of known" in the most whinny voice is classic. I guess its much funnier in person than in writing.
4. Even better than Leah's line is the Emperor's line that Ben has nailed me on about 5-6 times over the past two days. "Only a Sith Lord speaks in absolutes". God this kills me everytime. And yes I know that we are big losers.
3. Text Messaging- I hate doing it, used to make fun of people doing it, and now fuck, I can't stop it.
2. Tivo- Look at this list of crap that I've been tivoing on a regular basis: The Hillz, Road Rules vs. Real World Fresh Meat, Project Runway, Monk, and Reno 911. God what crap.
1. Miracle Whip- I honestly put this on everything. Most recently I have mixed it in with my pasta sauce to give it a very tangy flavor.
Jul 27, 2006
I don't want to hear it
Life is not fair. period.
I know Derek will post some smart ass comment - I'll try to ignore it.
What a deal. Can't we get any breaks?
I know Derek will post some smart ass comment - I'll try to ignore it.
What a deal. Can't we get any breaks?
Jul 25, 2006
BREAKING NEWS
Harold Reynolds is out at ESPN
I'm at a loss to explain this. Why?
So, for you Baseball Tonight junkies, that's more Kruk and Destrade, I guess.....
I'm at a loss to explain this. Why?
So, for you Baseball Tonight junkies, that's more Kruk and Destrade, I guess.....
Jul 23, 2006
Woman President? Not so fast
I've been thinking about the question of us having a woman president soon. My conclusion is that if it is not Hillary, it's going to be a long while - maybe something like 2030 - until the US is ready to elect a woman.
The reason is simple - our political parties have no high-profile woman officeholders coming up the pipeline that can be seriously called presidential. The parties work very much like baseball teams, with state and local offices being the "minor leagues". Those positions weed out the inferior candidates and the best of the best survive to hold congressional seats and governors.
Most, if not all, of our presidential nominees had experience as either Senators or Governors, or (in rare cases, like George HI Bush) held the Vice Presidency. I can't think of a major nominee whose only experience was a Representative. W, Kerry, Gore (who was a senator), Clinton, Dole, HI Bush, Dukakis, Mondale, Reagan, Carter.....
So that limits the field of who could actually legitimately run for and win the Presidency. I believe that the president in 2008, 2012, 2016 and 2020 is someone we have heard of today, and is holding office today. I know there are counterexamples (like Bush today, who advanced quickly up the chain due to his name, and Carter, who was the beneficiary of an extraordinary political time), but I believe my thought is more the rule.
So - where are we today in terms of women? Where are they in the roles that are traditionally stepping stones to the Presidency?
Let's look at Senators, first.
The Democrats:
Hillary (NY): the only one with the gravitas and the experience to be able to serve. You can make your own judgement on this one.
Boxer and Feinstein (CA): Sorry, but I think the nation is not ready for a liberal California senator to be president. Just the geography of it does not make sense.
Lincoln (AR): Not sure; has not done much in the senate in the past 4 years to make any sort of name for herself.
Landrieu (LA): Won a tough reelection, and is a great campaigner. This is a possibility, since she has crossed over and can't be called a liberal; however, for that reason, she may be un-nominatable in the current Democratic party.
Stabenow (MI): No. Sorry.
Mikulski (MD): I hate to say it, but you have to look presidential to be considered. That's why Steve Forbes isn't our president. And she doesn't seem to have any need to go for higher office.
Murray and Cantwell (WA): Both are considered political lightweights. No.
The Republicans:
Hutchison (TX): Her time has come and gone. She is actually talking about retiring.
Dole (NC): We've sampled this plate, thank you. No.
Murkowski (AK): When you win your first election under charges of favoritism from your father, the governor, then you have a LONG way to go. And it is Alaska - no.
Snowe, Collins (ME): Too moderate for the main party. No.
So outside of Hillary, I think there are no serious candidates for the Presidency from the Senate. What about governors?
Democrats:
Miner (DE): no.
Granholm (MI): has the looks and the charisma, but was born in Canada. Ineligible.
Blanco (LA): Not after Katrina.
Sebelius (KS), Napolitano (AZ): Two democrats who were elected in red states. Two to watch out for.
Republicans:
Martz (MT): No.
Lingle (HI): See Murkowski above, without the favoritism charge. It's Hawaii, for goodness sake!
Walker (UT): No.
Rell (CT): No.
In the future, there are two here to watch out for - Kathleen Sebelius and Janet Napolitano. However, they are at least 8 years off, if not more.
I exclude Condi Rice since I think you need to have some sort of elective office experience in order to run.
In the long term future, there are probably several candidates that are in the House now (or in statehouses somewhere) that have bright futures. Two I can think of offhand are Anne Northrup (R-Ky), who has been consistently elected in a marginal Louisville district for the past 10 years, and Shelly Moore Capito (R-WV), who probably would have ran for the Senate if cryogenic Robert Byrd decided to retire - he did not, so she's waiting her time. Both of those ladies have a Senate seat waiting for them (McConnell's in KY, Byrd or Rockefeller in WV) if they choose to enter. But as I said, that's a long way off.
And I'm sure there are a few Democratic women house members that are elected in toss-up or red states, although I can't think of any offhand. Herseth in SD?
So - I'm sure I bored you with this analysis - but the bottom line is if Hillary doesn't win in 08, I think it will be at least 2016 until we see a serious credible woman candidate for the Presidency, and I think the best guess on who that could be is either Kathleen Sebelius or Janet Napolitano.
The reason is simple - our political parties have no high-profile woman officeholders coming up the pipeline that can be seriously called presidential. The parties work very much like baseball teams, with state and local offices being the "minor leagues". Those positions weed out the inferior candidates and the best of the best survive to hold congressional seats and governors.
Most, if not all, of our presidential nominees had experience as either Senators or Governors, or (in rare cases, like George HI Bush) held the Vice Presidency. I can't think of a major nominee whose only experience was a Representative. W, Kerry, Gore (who was a senator), Clinton, Dole, HI Bush, Dukakis, Mondale, Reagan, Carter.....
So that limits the field of who could actually legitimately run for and win the Presidency. I believe that the president in 2008, 2012, 2016 and 2020 is someone we have heard of today, and is holding office today. I know there are counterexamples (like Bush today, who advanced quickly up the chain due to his name, and Carter, who was the beneficiary of an extraordinary political time), but I believe my thought is more the rule.
So - where are we today in terms of women? Where are they in the roles that are traditionally stepping stones to the Presidency?
Let's look at Senators, first.
The Democrats:
Hillary (NY): the only one with the gravitas and the experience to be able to serve. You can make your own judgement on this one.
Boxer and Feinstein (CA): Sorry, but I think the nation is not ready for a liberal California senator to be president. Just the geography of it does not make sense.
Lincoln (AR): Not sure; has not done much in the senate in the past 4 years to make any sort of name for herself.
Landrieu (LA): Won a tough reelection, and is a great campaigner. This is a possibility, since she has crossed over and can't be called a liberal; however, for that reason, she may be un-nominatable in the current Democratic party.
Stabenow (MI): No. Sorry.
Mikulski (MD): I hate to say it, but you have to look presidential to be considered. That's why Steve Forbes isn't our president. And she doesn't seem to have any need to go for higher office.
Murray and Cantwell (WA): Both are considered political lightweights. No.
The Republicans:
Hutchison (TX): Her time has come and gone. She is actually talking about retiring.
Dole (NC): We've sampled this plate, thank you. No.
Murkowski (AK): When you win your first election under charges of favoritism from your father, the governor, then you have a LONG way to go. And it is Alaska - no.
Snowe, Collins (ME): Too moderate for the main party. No.
So outside of Hillary, I think there are no serious candidates for the Presidency from the Senate. What about governors?
Democrats:
Miner (DE): no.
Granholm (MI): has the looks and the charisma, but was born in Canada. Ineligible.
Blanco (LA): Not after Katrina.
Sebelius (KS), Napolitano (AZ): Two democrats who were elected in red states. Two to watch out for.
Republicans:
Martz (MT): No.
Lingle (HI): See Murkowski above, without the favoritism charge. It's Hawaii, for goodness sake!
Walker (UT): No.
Rell (CT): No.
In the future, there are two here to watch out for - Kathleen Sebelius and Janet Napolitano. However, they are at least 8 years off, if not more.
I exclude Condi Rice since I think you need to have some sort of elective office experience in order to run.
In the long term future, there are probably several candidates that are in the House now (or in statehouses somewhere) that have bright futures. Two I can think of offhand are Anne Northrup (R-Ky), who has been consistently elected in a marginal Louisville district for the past 10 years, and Shelly Moore Capito (R-WV), who probably would have ran for the Senate if cryogenic Robert Byrd decided to retire - he did not, so she's waiting her time. Both of those ladies have a Senate seat waiting for them (McConnell's in KY, Byrd or Rockefeller in WV) if they choose to enter. But as I said, that's a long way off.
And I'm sure there are a few Democratic women house members that are elected in toss-up or red states, although I can't think of any offhand. Herseth in SD?
So - I'm sure I bored you with this analysis - but the bottom line is if Hillary doesn't win in 08, I think it will be at least 2016 until we see a serious credible woman candidate for the Presidency, and I think the best guess on who that could be is either Kathleen Sebelius or Janet Napolitano.
Jul 21, 2006
I owe Leland..
a better answer to his "woman as President" post than the one I gave him. Look for a thorough analysis of female presidential candidates in the next few days.
By the way, where is everyone? There's been some good posts up here accompanied by the sound of crickets chirping. Is everyone on vacation?
By the way, where is everyone? There's been some good posts up here accompanied by the sound of crickets chirping. Is everyone on vacation?
Jul 20, 2006
For those of you who questioned....
the Reds trade, I give you last night's boxscore as evidence of why the trade was needed.
I'm not a Reds fan, but the performance of the bullpen after the rain delay in the 2nd inning was spectacular.
I'm not a Reds fan, but the performance of the bullpen after the rain delay in the 2nd inning was spectacular.
Jul 18, 2006
Quick Thoughts
1. I can't tell if this site is for real or not. They have enough legit photos and a big enough following that I'm sure that there is some validity to what they are posting (check out the shit about the ex Reds reliever and what the comments say about him). Anyway, its worth checking out just for some stupid pictures of LoDuca, Carl Everett, and Arroyo.
2. NEWS FLASH-THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON THE HEREFORD NINE...THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON HEREFORD NINE.
3. Funniest call in the middle of the night. Only some of you will find this funny, but two nights ago I get a call from Austin at 1:00am. He never calls me in the middle of the night, so I picked up thinking that it was important. And it was. He called to tell me that the girl he went out with that night used to date Justin Fargas. My response to him was, "Justin Fargas????? You mean the ex Raider? Hey he was my 2004 Madden League MVP. That's fucking awesome!!!!" He replied "I know, that's why I called." What would I do without good friends like this.
4. I had not one, but two female adjusters break their leg this week. What the fuck are the odds on that? I can't catch a break here.
2. NEWS FLASH-THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON THE HEREFORD NINE...THERE HAS BEEN A POST ON HEREFORD NINE.
3. Funniest call in the middle of the night. Only some of you will find this funny, but two nights ago I get a call from Austin at 1:00am. He never calls me in the middle of the night, so I picked up thinking that it was important. And it was. He called to tell me that the girl he went out with that night used to date Justin Fargas. My response to him was, "Justin Fargas????? You mean the ex Raider? Hey he was my 2004 Madden League MVP. That's fucking awesome!!!!" He replied "I know, that's why I called." What would I do without good friends like this.
4. I had not one, but two female adjusters break their leg this week. What the fuck are the odds on that? I can't catch a break here.
The new Casio Exilim
Finally purchased a digital camera, since I'm tired of passing up endless amounts dumbasses on the road and outside my place that I want to share with all of you!! Anyway, I figured I would post the pictures off the camera.
Here is the only good picture from Boca. There are several of me just sitting there drenched in sweat that I have left off for everyone's saftey.
This is basically my backyard. A nice little park that goes down to the ocean. The houses on the right are occupied by my boy Sugar Ray Leonard, Greg Maddux, and LC from Laguna Beach. Sugar Ray is the only man I have seen that makes running in a collared shirt and a sweater vest look cool. 
Ahhh, my lovely office. You can't see the big box of tissues that I have on my back desk, which needs to be refilled 2-3 times a month. And I still haven't had a chance to hang my diploma.
There's my bitch cleaning my patio. He's better than any illegal I could of gotten off the streets.
And here is the house that I'm looking to buy in Encinitas. 1 block off the beach, which should only be about $1.5 million.
Here is the only good picture from Boca. There are several of me just sitting there drenched in sweat that I have left off for everyone's saftey.
This is basically my backyard. A nice little park that goes down to the ocean. The houses on the right are occupied by my boy Sugar Ray Leonard, Greg Maddux, and LC from Laguna Beach. Sugar Ray is the only man I have seen that makes running in a collared shirt and a sweater vest look cool. 
Ahhh, my lovely office. You can't see the big box of tissues that I have on my back desk, which needs to be refilled 2-3 times a month. And I still haven't had a chance to hang my diploma.
There's my bitch cleaning my patio. He's better than any illegal I could of gotten off the streets.
And here is the house that I'm looking to buy in Encinitas. 1 block off the beach, which should only be about $1.5 million.
79 degrees!!!!
Boy its hot out here. I just can't take it anymore. I just can't do anything outside when its this hot. I'm moving.
Around the corner is....
Well, now that the Tribe is losing to X Games alumni (Jonny Moseley? Who the hell is that?), it's now officially time to switch to NFL mode.
8 days until training camp. Wow. 8 days!
It's the hottest day of the year here in Cincinnati (and in most other cities as well). This picture should give you a smile and remind you that colder and better days are ahead.
(Please feel free to substitute the Browns with your team of choice)...
Can't wait to tailgate again in the muni lot in the fall.....
Jul 17, 2006
Woman as President
Will a woman be President of the United States in the 50 years? Explain your reasoning.
Jul 14, 2006
Quick Thoughts for Friday:
- Did you know that you should marinate steaks and other meats for at least 4-5 days to get the full affect of the marinade? But you should lightly sear the meat first before putting it into the fridge. Learned that last night on the Food Network. Didn't know that I could do that with meat.
- Did anyone watch that segment on Sportscenter about that boy in Denver and how he met Todd Helton? Jesus, I was just looking for the A's highlights and nearly had a balling session at 6:15am this morning. Hangovers make me very vunerable and sensitve.
- Went bowling last night with my office. We played against our neighboring office and got destroyed. This other office is so god damn competitive. If I wasn't the manager and had to show my people that I'm not a dick, I would of put together an all-star team to kick their ass in every sport. But since I'm a nice guy and I'm looking for participation rather than winning, I had several bowlers that didn't crack 50. My ringer, Austin, sucked it up as well. Thanks Austin for spending the entire time hitting on my one new hire and ignoring that I needed you to bowl a 150.
- Men who have rollers for their briefcases piss me off to no end. Its not necessary. Are you that weak to carry a 10 pound briefcase? So can you guess how I reacted when a male supervisor from the other office showed up with his owner ball in a bag that had a roller? How lazy are we all getting? Earned massive points with my office when I was just ripping into the guy as he walked past our group.
- Just want to say thank you to the person driving the white van on the 405 this morning going 40 mph. 40 MPH!!!!!!! I was stuck behind him for about 2 miles, yelling at myself with one of those "Great asshole, you are going way to slow for me to even pull around you and nobody won't let me in" conversations. I was so pissed, I took down his license plate number and I will be completing a Choicepoint search on him today. Love working for an insurance company.
Jul 13, 2006
Baseball
Ahh baseball is back!!!! Thank God, but why is there only 7 games tonight? Why isn't there a full load? People are craving for games after three days off. Selig and the scheduling idiots need to answer these important questions.And can someone explain the trade between the Reds and Nats? Why did the Nats get Lopez/Kearns for a bunch of bullpen help? Am I missing something?
British Open Tournament
OK, another possible gambling outing. Any interest in a draft again for the British Open? Pick 4 golfers and the person with the lowest ranking wins? Post in the comment section if you are interested. I'm sure we can get 8 people.
Who said it?
Who said the following quote?
"I don't understand (the baseball blackouts) myself. I get blacked out from some games."
Was it:
a) Derek Zahn, when frantically searching for an A's game on Saturday;
b) Mark Cuban, when figuring out how to watch his future team, the Pittsburgh Pirates;
c) Isaiah Thomas, because he is a dumbass;
d) None of the above.
Well, although it could be "a", the correct answer is "d". Click here for the person who said it.
"I don't understand (the baseball blackouts) myself. I get blacked out from some games."
Was it:
a) Derek Zahn, when frantically searching for an A's game on Saturday;
b) Mark Cuban, when figuring out how to watch his future team, the Pittsburgh Pirates;
c) Isaiah Thomas, because he is a dumbass;
d) None of the above.
Well, although it could be "a", the correct answer is "d". Click here for the person who said it.
Jul 12, 2006
Wow!
Did you realize that the lyrics to Dusty Springfield's hit, "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" are:
You don't have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don't have to stay forever
I will understand
I always thought the second line was "Just because you can....". Boy, am I embarrassed....I've been singing that song at the top of my lungs with the wrong words!
You don't have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don't have to stay forever
I will understand
I always thought the second line was "Just because you can....". Boy, am I embarrassed....I've been singing that song at the top of my lungs with the wrong words!
Golf Update
Well, for those of you who are sick of getting golf updates from someone who can't break 80 in these tournaments, this is for you!
Had a wildly successful weekend in Iowa, finishing 20th at the Iowa Masters by shooting 77-72-70=219 (+3). $100 worth of merchandise from the Iowa State Pro Shop is coming my way; look to see me in a snappy Cyclone windbreaker sometime soon.
Highlights of the trip:
Thu 5:30 eastern: leave Lima, OH, and get partially lost trying to leave the city
Thu 8:00 eastern: find a random 18-hole course in Plymouth, IN and play 9 holes; after about 4 holes, I don't putt anymore since the greens are slightly slower than shag carpeting.
Fri 2:30 eastern(1:30 Central) am: Pull into Iowa City and make last call at the Sports Column.
Fri 3:00 am central: Crash at Joey's place.
Fri 6:45 am central: Awaken to Joey's female roommate carrying on on her cell phone. Argh.
Fri 11:00 am: Drive to Ames
Fri 2:20 pm: Tee off with the Korean professor and two others. Start +4 after 7 holes.
Fri 5:35 pm: Finish the front nine. Yes, you read that right.
Fri 8:15: Finish the round with a 77, which includes a double on 16 when my perfectly placed lay up shot finds a hole - not a divot - in the fairway. A skull and a couple of bad chips later, I make 7. Stats from Friday: 8 fwys, 7 greens, 30 putts, 5/9 up and down, 1 double.
Fri 11:30: Crash, being dead tired.
Sat 5:15 am: Alarm goes off. I have massive headache. Head to the Kum N Go for Motrin.
Sat 6:55 am: Tee off. I figure I need a 76 to be safe to make the cut for Sunday.
Sat ~7:30 am: On the 2nd hole, I hit my tee shot on a par 4 into the water. Double. Nice job, idiot.
Then I proceed to go -2 for the remaining 16 holes. I played smart; short game was on, and a couple of putts fell. The only bogey (after #2) was on 17, a par 3, when the group was talking about the UFC fight that night; this guy kept talking about his run-in with a UFC fighter in Minneapolis AS I AM TRYING TO LINE UP A CHIP. Thanks! He then proceeds to try to imitate a knee-to-the-head blow, but as he does it, he immediately remarks "ooh! My back!".
That's a nice pre-shot thought. I blow an easy 40-foot chip 20 feet by the hole. Thanks.
Final stats for Saturday: 10 fwys, 11 greens, 28 putts, 5/6 up& downs, 1 double. 72.
Get back to the hotel around 1; eat 9 pieces of pizza at the Old Chicago buffet; sleep until 5.
Sat 8:00 pm: Get dinner with some friends from Iowa City who came up
Sat 9:30 pm: Find a bar with UFC on it. God, what a disappointment.
Sat 11:45 pm: UFC finished up. Should we crash for the night (with an 8 am tee time) or go out?
Sun 12:30 am: In a bar in downtown Ames, where I am clearly the oldest person in the bar, by a good 5 years (even though I was carded). It took all my willpower to turn down shots that night.
Sun 2:00 am: Closing time.
Sun 2:45 am: Asleep, I think.
Sun 6:30 am: Alarm. God, it's early. I ache - but no splitting headache.
Sun 7:45 am: At the range, thinking my swing is nowhere in sight as I top 3 consecutive 5-woods in a row.
Round begins:
#2: Bogey.....hoo boy, this is going to be a long day.
#4: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#6: Get up and down from 10 yards in front of the green
#7: Get up and down from 35 yards in front of the green
#8: Thin a 5 iron to 4 feet, birdie.
#9: Wedge to 15 feet, birdie.
#11: Par 3; go halfway down a hill left of the green, 25 yards away; chip to 4 feet, par.
#12: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#13: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#14: Get up and down from a bunker 10 yards from the green
#15: Get up and down from 25 yards in front of the green (made a 15 footer)
#17: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#18: From 85 yards out, chunk a wedge; then proceed to hole the chip shot. Birdie.
How about these stats:
9 fwys, 8 greens, 24 PUTTS, 9/10 up and downs. 70.
The best thing about it is that I was playing with a D-I scholarship golfer who hit the ball at least 40 yards further than me. I can't even imagine what he was thinking - me, whose drives all day were 220-yard high hooks, was kicking his ass. I love doing that.
Bob Wickman (the putter) was Mariano Rivera for that round. In fact, he has an active streak of 50 (FIFTY) straight non-3-putt greens.
The more I think about the course, the more I love it. It is not a bomber's paradise; it is a 6600 yard layout that you have to think your way around. Driver is needed on only about 5-6 holes. There are plenty of 310-yd par 4 where 6s or 7s can be made by excellent golfer. The key is that woods and crap that line the fairways and greens are NOT hazards - they are part of the "course" where (if you can't find the ball) you have to hit provisionals. One guy on the second day hit 4 balls from the tee on a par 3 - because his first 3 shots missed the green by about 5 yards, kicked down a wooded hill and was lost.
I love those types of courses. You have to control every shot. Success is not measured by how good your shot was, but if you avoided the danger successfully. You can't fire at a lot of flags - period. If you do, you open yourself up to doubles or worse.
Today's young golfers can't play those types of courses. They can't think. Every hole is a driver (or, at worst, a 3 wood) for them. I saw it out there and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There's no such thing as playing conservative - hell, there's no such thing as game planning, I think.
On these short par 4s, sure, you bring 3 more into play (and you can possibly even make 2) , but now 6, 7 or worse is a significant probability. The junk is literally 5 yards off a green that is 17 yards deep. That's not a big target. Why go for it? This is stroke play. I don't understand today's young golfers. And if they keep having these cocky attitudes, I guess I have no choice but to beat them with my Pat Buchanan style of play.
Had a wildly successful weekend in Iowa, finishing 20th at the Iowa Masters by shooting 77-72-70=219 (+3). $100 worth of merchandise from the Iowa State Pro Shop is coming my way; look to see me in a snappy Cyclone windbreaker sometime soon.
Highlights of the trip:
Thu 5:30 eastern: leave Lima, OH, and get partially lost trying to leave the city
Thu 8:00 eastern: find a random 18-hole course in Plymouth, IN and play 9 holes; after about 4 holes, I don't putt anymore since the greens are slightly slower than shag carpeting.
Fri 2:30 eastern(1:30 Central) am: Pull into Iowa City and make last call at the Sports Column.
Fri 3:00 am central: Crash at Joey's place.
Fri 6:45 am central: Awaken to Joey's female roommate carrying on on her cell phone. Argh.
Fri 11:00 am: Drive to Ames
Fri 2:20 pm: Tee off with the Korean professor and two others. Start +4 after 7 holes.
Fri 5:35 pm: Finish the front nine. Yes, you read that right.
Fri 8:15: Finish the round with a 77, which includes a double on 16 when my perfectly placed lay up shot finds a hole - not a divot - in the fairway. A skull and a couple of bad chips later, I make 7. Stats from Friday: 8 fwys, 7 greens, 30 putts, 5/9 up and down, 1 double.
Fri 11:30: Crash, being dead tired.
Sat 5:15 am: Alarm goes off. I have massive headache. Head to the Kum N Go for Motrin.
Sat 6:55 am: Tee off. I figure I need a 76 to be safe to make the cut for Sunday.
Sat ~7:30 am: On the 2nd hole, I hit my tee shot on a par 4 into the water. Double. Nice job, idiot.
Then I proceed to go -2 for the remaining 16 holes. I played smart; short game was on, and a couple of putts fell. The only bogey (after #2) was on 17, a par 3, when the group was talking about the UFC fight that night; this guy kept talking about his run-in with a UFC fighter in Minneapolis AS I AM TRYING TO LINE UP A CHIP. Thanks! He then proceeds to try to imitate a knee-to-the-head blow, but as he does it, he immediately remarks "ooh! My back!".
That's a nice pre-shot thought. I blow an easy 40-foot chip 20 feet by the hole. Thanks.
Final stats for Saturday: 10 fwys, 11 greens, 28 putts, 5/6 up& downs, 1 double. 72.
Get back to the hotel around 1; eat 9 pieces of pizza at the Old Chicago buffet; sleep until 5.
Sat 8:00 pm: Get dinner with some friends from Iowa City who came up
Sat 9:30 pm: Find a bar with UFC on it. God, what a disappointment.
Sat 11:45 pm: UFC finished up. Should we crash for the night (with an 8 am tee time) or go out?
Sun 12:30 am: In a bar in downtown Ames, where I am clearly the oldest person in the bar, by a good 5 years (even though I was carded). It took all my willpower to turn down shots that night.
Sun 2:00 am: Closing time.
Sun 2:45 am: Asleep, I think.
Sun 6:30 am: Alarm. God, it's early. I ache - but no splitting headache.
Sun 7:45 am: At the range, thinking my swing is nowhere in sight as I top 3 consecutive 5-woods in a row.
Round begins:
#2: Bogey.....hoo boy, this is going to be a long day.
#4: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#6: Get up and down from 10 yards in front of the green
#7: Get up and down from 35 yards in front of the green
#8: Thin a 5 iron to 4 feet, birdie.
#9: Wedge to 15 feet, birdie.
#11: Par 3; go halfway down a hill left of the green, 25 yards away; chip to 4 feet, par.
#12: Get up and down from 5 yards in front of the green
#13: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#14: Get up and down from a bunker 10 yards from the green
#15: Get up and down from 25 yards in front of the green (made a 15 footer)
#17: Get up and down from 5 yards left of the green
#18: From 85 yards out, chunk a wedge; then proceed to hole the chip shot. Birdie.
How about these stats:
9 fwys, 8 greens, 24 PUTTS, 9/10 up and downs. 70.
The best thing about it is that I was playing with a D-I scholarship golfer who hit the ball at least 40 yards further than me. I can't even imagine what he was thinking - me, whose drives all day were 220-yard high hooks, was kicking his ass. I love doing that.
Bob Wickman (the putter) was Mariano Rivera for that round. In fact, he has an active streak of 50 (FIFTY) straight non-3-putt greens.
The more I think about the course, the more I love it. It is not a bomber's paradise; it is a 6600 yard layout that you have to think your way around. Driver is needed on only about 5-6 holes. There are plenty of 310-yd par 4 where 6s or 7s can be made by excellent golfer. The key is that woods and crap that line the fairways and greens are NOT hazards - they are part of the "course" where (if you can't find the ball) you have to hit provisionals. One guy on the second day hit 4 balls from the tee on a par 3 - because his first 3 shots missed the green by about 5 yards, kicked down a wooded hill and was lost.
I love those types of courses. You have to control every shot. Success is not measured by how good your shot was, but if you avoided the danger successfully. You can't fire at a lot of flags - period. If you do, you open yourself up to doubles or worse.
Today's young golfers can't play those types of courses. They can't think. Every hole is a driver (or, at worst, a 3 wood) for them. I saw it out there and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There's no such thing as playing conservative - hell, there's no such thing as game planning, I think.
On these short par 4s, sure, you bring 3 more into play (and you can possibly even make 2) , but now 6, 7 or worse is a significant probability. The junk is literally 5 yards off a green that is 17 yards deep. That's not a big target. Why go for it? This is stroke play. I don't understand today's young golfers. And if they keep having these cocky attitudes, I guess I have no choice but to beat them with my Pat Buchanan style of play.
Breaking News....
Major changes in my top 5 favorite foods.
1. Crispy Cream Cheese Wantons
2. The crunchy tacos at Chipotle
3. Dominos thin and crispy pizza
4. ZBest pepperoni and sausage pizza
5. In and Out Burgers
The cheesesteak from Philly's best, the crunch wrap supreme from Taco Bell, and the Buffalo Chicken sandwich from Chilis have all fallen out of the top 5.
Beefeaters and Hackers
Is there anything better than an afternoon buzz? On Saturday after going for a nice run, working out, and running some errands, Ben and I decided to continue our Gin Rummy 20,000 game outside with a big bottle of Beefeaters. This started around noon and by 2:00 I had an excellent buzz going. Ahhh, not having any responsibilities rock. On the flip side, is there anything worse than an afternoon buzz that turns into blacking out that night? Probably not. Ben and I tried to piece Saturday late afternoon and into the evening with only this information and items:
1. Empty Beefeater, Stoli, and Malibu bottles on the counter and three Tekezer bottles in the fridge. We did not have Malibu or Tekezer in the place earlier that afternoon. Not too sure where they came from.
2. A frequent purchase card from the Golden Spoon (ice cream joint). Apparently our neighbors and us went to get some ice cream at 9:00pm. I guess I ordered a pint of soft serve and sat down and ate the entire thing and then went on to eat some of my neighbors ice cream. I seriously don't remember this.
3. A GQ magazine and one of those Mexican Prayer Candles on our coffee table. Still confused about this one. I guess I ran out to get some propane from Ralphs (found my receipt on Monday) and purchased a GQ magazine and a prayer candle. Don't know what prompted me to do this.
4. UFC fight- Now I know that I ordered the fight on Saturday night, and I remember the two big fights, but had no idea about the other two fights. Ben and I ended up watching it again on Sunday since everything was really fuzzy.
5. Two wet beach towels- This might be the funniest part. I guess our neighbors and us went down to the hot tub sometime during the night. According to Ben, he remembers me doing a bit on how child molesters get a bad rap or something like that. He said that everyone loved it except for the two couples who were in the hot tub before we arrived. I truly don't even remember going down to the hot tub.
I was in such bad shape in the morning when I had to wake up at 6:00am to go golfing with Suz's little brother Greg. I was clearly still drunk. I walked around the place that morning looking at the items listed above going "what the fuck". I was so out of it, it took me 10 solid minutes to find my camera, which was in my hand. And I didn't even pick up on this, It took Ben to tell me this. And poor Ben, who was still drunk as well, had to get up at the same time and man the I-5 Border Patrol check point. Nothing like being drunk and standing in the middle of a 7 lane highway.
As for golf...ugh. Played like shit as I was battling the hangover. Interesting course in the middle of San Diego. We were paired with the two worse golfers I have ever seen. If either of them broke 160 I would be surprised. They kept up for the most part, but here was a couple of little highlights of the round:
1. Chris and Carl (our playing partners) were complete opposites. While they were both tremendously bad, but Chris had a great attitude about the entire outing, while Carl would get pissed after every shot. Not just upset, but yelling every swear word known to man after every shot. I'm not exaggerating about this. He buried his club several times after each shot and started blaming his poor play on the course itself. Carl here is a little bit of advice. After your 4th 12 in a row, its not the course, its you. He had a strand of 5-6 shots in a row where he lost the ball OB. And these weren't slices or hooks but just complete mis-hits that would go directly left or right off the club. And I can't even explain to you how pissed he was getting after every shot. It was very amusing after you got over how loud he was being.
2. Um Carl, can you at least walk 10 yards off the tee box to piss? Thanks.
2. Asked Chris and Carl if they played a lot of golf, they both responded Yes. In fact they both played the south course at Torrey Pines the day before. This left me speechless. I can't imagine those two guys on any respectable course hacking it up.
3. I almost dumped the golf cart in some prickly bushes. Thanks Greg for acting quickly and jumping on the front right tire to make sure that I didn't go with the cart. Yeah I was still drunk on hole number 3.
3. Hole #9, a par three, Greg pulls a shot that goes over a building on the right. We think that there is nothing over in that direction so we go about our business. When Greg goes to get his ball behind the building, we see that the #10 tee box is right behind it. Apparently one of the guys in the group ahead of us calls Greg and asshole. Greg tells Carl, Chris, and myself this when he gets up to the green and I thought that we were going to get in a fight right there on hole # 10. And it wasn't even because of me. Carl and Chris were ready to storm these guys and throw down. They were so pumped up about getting into a fight!!! This made Greg and I laugh for at least 2 entire holes. Why would two strangers defend us?
4. On every hole, Greg and I sat in the cart about 50 yards ahead of Chris or Carl making wagers to see if they would hit the ball past us. 80% of the time they were short.
5. On hole #18, Carl decided to give Chris some golf tips. "I think you need to tee the ball up higher" right as Chris was about to hit the ball, with Carl actually re-teeing the ball for Chris. Umm...sure that will solve all your problems Chris. You haven't made solid contact the entire round. And Carl, I think that you are the last person to give anyone advice.
1. Empty Beefeater, Stoli, and Malibu bottles on the counter and three Tekezer bottles in the fridge. We did not have Malibu or Tekezer in the place earlier that afternoon. Not too sure where they came from.
2. A frequent purchase card from the Golden Spoon (ice cream joint). Apparently our neighbors and us went to get some ice cream at 9:00pm. I guess I ordered a pint of soft serve and sat down and ate the entire thing and then went on to eat some of my neighbors ice cream. I seriously don't remember this.
3. A GQ magazine and one of those Mexican Prayer Candles on our coffee table. Still confused about this one. I guess I ran out to get some propane from Ralphs (found my receipt on Monday) and purchased a GQ magazine and a prayer candle. Don't know what prompted me to do this.
4. UFC fight- Now I know that I ordered the fight on Saturday night, and I remember the two big fights, but had no idea about the other two fights. Ben and I ended up watching it again on Sunday since everything was really fuzzy.
5. Two wet beach towels- This might be the funniest part. I guess our neighbors and us went down to the hot tub sometime during the night. According to Ben, he remembers me doing a bit on how child molesters get a bad rap or something like that. He said that everyone loved it except for the two couples who were in the hot tub before we arrived. I truly don't even remember going down to the hot tub.
I was in such bad shape in the morning when I had to wake up at 6:00am to go golfing with Suz's little brother Greg. I was clearly still drunk. I walked around the place that morning looking at the items listed above going "what the fuck". I was so out of it, it took me 10 solid minutes to find my camera, which was in my hand. And I didn't even pick up on this, It took Ben to tell me this. And poor Ben, who was still drunk as well, had to get up at the same time and man the I-5 Border Patrol check point. Nothing like being drunk and standing in the middle of a 7 lane highway.
As for golf...ugh. Played like shit as I was battling the hangover. Interesting course in the middle of San Diego. We were paired with the two worse golfers I have ever seen. If either of them broke 160 I would be surprised. They kept up for the most part, but here was a couple of little highlights of the round:
1. Chris and Carl (our playing partners) were complete opposites. While they were both tremendously bad, but Chris had a great attitude about the entire outing, while Carl would get pissed after every shot. Not just upset, but yelling every swear word known to man after every shot. I'm not exaggerating about this. He buried his club several times after each shot and started blaming his poor play on the course itself. Carl here is a little bit of advice. After your 4th 12 in a row, its not the course, its you. He had a strand of 5-6 shots in a row where he lost the ball OB. And these weren't slices or hooks but just complete mis-hits that would go directly left or right off the club. And I can't even explain to you how pissed he was getting after every shot. It was very amusing after you got over how loud he was being.
2. Um Carl, can you at least walk 10 yards off the tee box to piss? Thanks.
2. Asked Chris and Carl if they played a lot of golf, they both responded Yes. In fact they both played the south course at Torrey Pines the day before. This left me speechless. I can't imagine those two guys on any respectable course hacking it up.
3. I almost dumped the golf cart in some prickly bushes. Thanks Greg for acting quickly and jumping on the front right tire to make sure that I didn't go with the cart. Yeah I was still drunk on hole number 3.
3. Hole #9, a par three, Greg pulls a shot that goes over a building on the right. We think that there is nothing over in that direction so we go about our business. When Greg goes to get his ball behind the building, we see that the #10 tee box is right behind it. Apparently one of the guys in the group ahead of us calls Greg and asshole. Greg tells Carl, Chris, and myself this when he gets up to the green and I thought that we were going to get in a fight right there on hole # 10. And it wasn't even because of me. Carl and Chris were ready to storm these guys and throw down. They were so pumped up about getting into a fight!!! This made Greg and I laugh for at least 2 entire holes. Why would two strangers defend us?
4. On every hole, Greg and I sat in the cart about 50 yards ahead of Chris or Carl making wagers to see if they would hit the ball past us. 80% of the time they were short.
5. On hole #18, Carl decided to give Chris some golf tips. "I think you need to tee the ball up higher" right as Chris was about to hit the ball, with Carl actually re-teeing the ball for Chris. Umm...sure that will solve all your problems Chris. You haven't made solid contact the entire round. And Carl, I think that you are the last person to give anyone advice.
Jul 11, 2006
OK, I'm going to hell for this post....
...but some things need to be said.
1) About the World Cup: Not much is being said about the Italian who got head butted by Zidane, which caused the captain of the French squad to be sent off. He (the Italian) should be lauded as an example on how to win without crossing the line. He knows that yelling insults is completely within the rules - it happens all the time - and some times that trash talking can induce your opponent into doing something stupid. I would wager that this Italian knew that a) Zidane had a short fuse, and b) found out some things that would tweak him; at the end of a long, long day, the Italian chose those insults to hurl at Zidane, which threw him over the edge. Shame on Zidane for acting this way, but kudos to the Italian who knew this and used it to the teams' advantage. Nothing illegal was done - a fine act of team play.
2) The National Special Olympics were held in Ames, IA this past weekend, which was the site of the Iowa Masters in which I played. A golf recap will be coming soon, by the way.
Many local businesses had signs welcoming the special olympic athletes - for example, the McDonalds sign said "Good Luck to all Special Olympians".
My question - what was the purpose for that? Can the athletes read the signs?
3) We arrived in Ames that Friday for round 1. On the news that night, there was an outbreak of flu-like symptoms at the Special Olympics, causing some venues to be quarantined for a bit.
I leave it for the commenters to deliver any punch lines.
4) On Friday, I played with a Korean professor from Iowa State. Although he spoke English well, it was with a heavy accent, and he clearly was born and raised in Korea. I asked him what his field of study is. He replied: "Hotel and Restaurant Management".
That answer actually rendered me speechless. Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves. I resisted the urge to ask him if his department was next to the department of veterenairy sciences.
5) A fellow Korean - one who spoke almost no English - caddied for the professor. He set the model for what a caddie should be. Whenever we (as a group) were walking from the tee to our ball, the caddie would make sure to sprint to make sure he is at the player's side during the walk. I would be walking with Joey and we hear these footsteps - it is the Korean caddie running (NOT jogging) to catch up with his player. Just a note for any caddies out there.....maybe for my next tournament, I will make sure I get an Asian caddie - they know how to show respect for their masters.
6) In all seriousness, I found this story on Tyler Swanson touching. A tribute to a star collegiate golfer (who made the cut, as an Iowa State sophomore, at the John Deere PGA event in 2003) who almost died in a car crash in 2004.
I especially like one of the last lines in the article- " For the record Swanson shot a 92 Friday but he didn't have the high score. ". Yeah, because the guy who DID have the high score played WITH ME!!!!! How can you shoot a 98, and get beat by a guy who LITERALLY has a hole in his skull (read the article) and hits the ball 150-170 yards off the tee? (Well, that was a rhetorical question - I know how- I saw it!)
1) About the World Cup: Not much is being said about the Italian who got head butted by Zidane, which caused the captain of the French squad to be sent off. He (the Italian) should be lauded as an example on how to win without crossing the line. He knows that yelling insults is completely within the rules - it happens all the time - and some times that trash talking can induce your opponent into doing something stupid. I would wager that this Italian knew that a) Zidane had a short fuse, and b) found out some things that would tweak him; at the end of a long, long day, the Italian chose those insults to hurl at Zidane, which threw him over the edge. Shame on Zidane for acting this way, but kudos to the Italian who knew this and used it to the teams' advantage. Nothing illegal was done - a fine act of team play.
2) The National Special Olympics were held in Ames, IA this past weekend, which was the site of the Iowa Masters in which I played. A golf recap will be coming soon, by the way.
Many local businesses had signs welcoming the special olympic athletes - for example, the McDonalds sign said "Good Luck to all Special Olympians".
My question - what was the purpose for that? Can the athletes read the signs?
3) We arrived in Ames that Friday for round 1. On the news that night, there was an outbreak of flu-like symptoms at the Special Olympics, causing some venues to be quarantined for a bit.
I leave it for the commenters to deliver any punch lines.
4) On Friday, I played with a Korean professor from Iowa State. Although he spoke English well, it was with a heavy accent, and he clearly was born and raised in Korea. I asked him what his field of study is. He replied: "Hotel and Restaurant Management".
That answer actually rendered me speechless. Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves. I resisted the urge to ask him if his department was next to the department of veterenairy sciences.
5) A fellow Korean - one who spoke almost no English - caddied for the professor. He set the model for what a caddie should be. Whenever we (as a group) were walking from the tee to our ball, the caddie would make sure to sprint to make sure he is at the player's side during the walk. I would be walking with Joey and we hear these footsteps - it is the Korean caddie running (NOT jogging) to catch up with his player. Just a note for any caddies out there.....maybe for my next tournament, I will make sure I get an Asian caddie - they know how to show respect for their masters.
6) In all seriousness, I found this story on Tyler Swanson touching. A tribute to a star collegiate golfer (who made the cut, as an Iowa State sophomore, at the John Deere PGA event in 2003) who almost died in a car crash in 2004.
I especially like one of the last lines in the article- " For the record Swanson shot a 92 Friday but he didn't have the high score. ". Yeah, because the guy who DID have the high score played WITH ME!!!!! How can you shoot a 98, and get beat by a guy who LITERALLY has a hole in his skull (read the article) and hits the ball 150-170 yards off the tee? (Well, that was a rhetorical question - I know how- I saw it!)
Jul 9, 2006
Jul 8, 2006
What a great day!
1) LeBron has agreed to a 5-yr extension with the Cavs;
2) I finally got my act together in a tournament. 12 greens, 28 putts - a formula for a good round.
2) I finally got my act together in a tournament. 12 greens, 28 putts - a formula for a good round.
Jul 7, 2006
Conan
Great reading for Friday. Conan O'Brien's commencement speech for a local high school. I was crying in my office on several of his one liners. Classic.
http://crazysheet.com/conan_graduation_speech.htm
http://crazysheet.com/conan_graduation_speech.htm
Jul 6, 2006
Mr. Salty or Jerome Brown
Depending on which group of friends that you fall in, I believe that I have found the location of Mr. Salty or Jerome Brown. He is playing soccer for Portugal. If you went to Hereford High, Mr. Salty was our invisible friend that would fill in if teams were uneven. If you went to Maryland, Jerome Brown filled in to meet the required number of people (4) to go to the dinning hall for late night feastings.
Oh Gary....
Now Gary, I don't mind you being drunk in almost every photo that your in, but usually they are in a bar with several hot chicks. This one seems to be in someone's house and your chowing down on some wings. Are you on one of your many visits to a recruits house that you have failed to sign? And why do you look like one of those annoying guys that runs into the picture at the last second, just so you can be in every shot?
Jul 5, 2006
Eddie Griffin takes Drunk Driving to the next level
No not that Eddie Griffin. I'm talking about the basketball player. This might top Eric's skill of doing multiple things at once. I'm not too sure which is better, how the accident happened, or what
Mr. Griffen promised them. Hummer fine? Bentley no!
Idiot!!!!
Boca fucking Raton
Ahhhh, Boca Raton. What a shit hole. How much white trash and old people can they jam into a 5 mile strip of beach? And thank you US Air for once again fucking up my travel plans. Couple of notes from the trip:
1. I think Ft. Lauderdale is the capital of the Crotch Rocket Nation. Jesus, I must of seen at least 500 bikes down there, ad maybe half of the people riding weren't wearing helmets, shirts, or any protective gear. Reason number 1,237 why Farmers doesn't write business down in Florida. Idiots.
2. Can we please incorporate a driving test for people who are older than 70? Jesus, it is amazing to see multiple Cadillac's cut across 4 lanes of traffic to make a right hand turn within 30 feet and to see people driving close to 40 MPH on the highway. Combine this with all of the crotch rockets and it is a recipe for disaster.
3. Traveling Tip #1: Stay off the roads between 3:00pm-6:00pm due to the early bird rush.
4. Traveling Tip #2: Every restaurant empties out at 6:00pm, so there is no problems securing a reservation at a nice restaurant around 8:00pm. Only nice thing about this area.
5. Can someone please talk with the local architects in Florida. Mauve colored condo complexes just look awful. So does plain white concrete blocks stacked 200 feet high right on the beach. It looks like oceanfront section 8 housing. I have never seen a city look so disgusting just based on the color of all of their buildings.
6. I never imagined that playing cards with a 92 year old Italian women would be as much fun as it was. I played a game called Spite and Malice with Carol's grandmother and I never imagined that I would be on the receiving end of some nasty shit talking from an older women. I was able to put her in her place by kicking her ass three times in a row.
7. Grandmother continued: Italian women, no matter how old, can still make the best Italian food. God I must of eaten close to 5-6 pounds of pasta and other shit on Saturday night. And it wasn't like I had a choice. These women get so offended if you don't eat everything!! Thank god I love food.
8. Shared a room with Carol and her sister Molly. Great time, except for the night that I had Taco Bell. Ever tried to take a quiet shit while lighting a match? I'm not that coordinated. It never works. I came out of the bathroom and had to deal with the frightened looks of two girls as if they just witnessed a murder. Diffused the situation quickly by making an official speech apologizing to the ladies on behalf of my family and friends. And I had been so good for the other 3 days.
9. Played pool at some dive bar. Molly was a little drunk and ended up flirting with a 40 year old Marine named Randy. Randy ends up joining us for some pool and Molly continues to flirt with him. Molly being drunk does not realize that Randy is following her around like some poor little puppy. I could actually see the desperation ooze from his skin. About an hour into it, I make a little comment to Molly about her flirting tactics with Randy, and Molly is totally oblivious to the entire situation. Then all of a sudden she decides that we all must leave and just drops her pool stick and walks out. Carol follows her and I end up having one of the most awkward conversations with a desperate 40 year Marine. He ends up giving me his business card and expresses to me how much he liked Molly and that we need to hang out tomorrow. I tell him that we will call and quickly run out the door, hoping that he isn't somehow waiting for me and the girls out in the parking lot.
10. At the bar, they were replaying old Florida St.-Miami football games on the big screen. I had to watch Baseball tonight on what seemed like a 12 inch TV, but could watch Charlie Ward scramble around in the backfield on a 60 flat screen.
11. Went for a jog on Monday and somehow got lost in a business park. I couldn't find my way back to the hotel for the life of me. I actually stopped and asked a security guard directions, and this asshole tells me that the hotel is a mile away in one direction, and then shows up in his little cart 10 minutes later to tell me that he told me the wrong way. I guess I should thank him for telling me, but I should make a complaint since he just turned around his little cart and shot off. I actually could of used a ride since my run was then coming close to exceeding an hour in the nice pleasant 95 degree heat with 100% humidity. Lovely run. Just lovely. I hate fucking Florida.
1. I think Ft. Lauderdale is the capital of the Crotch Rocket Nation. Jesus, I must of seen at least 500 bikes down there, ad maybe half of the people riding weren't wearing helmets, shirts, or any protective gear. Reason number 1,237 why Farmers doesn't write business down in Florida. Idiots.
2. Can we please incorporate a driving test for people who are older than 70? Jesus, it is amazing to see multiple Cadillac's cut across 4 lanes of traffic to make a right hand turn within 30 feet and to see people driving close to 40 MPH on the highway. Combine this with all of the crotch rockets and it is a recipe for disaster.
3. Traveling Tip #1: Stay off the roads between 3:00pm-6:00pm due to the early bird rush.
4. Traveling Tip #2: Every restaurant empties out at 6:00pm, so there is no problems securing a reservation at a nice restaurant around 8:00pm. Only nice thing about this area.
5. Can someone please talk with the local architects in Florida. Mauve colored condo complexes just look awful. So does plain white concrete blocks stacked 200 feet high right on the beach. It looks like oceanfront section 8 housing. I have never seen a city look so disgusting just based on the color of all of their buildings.
6. I never imagined that playing cards with a 92 year old Italian women would be as much fun as it was. I played a game called Spite and Malice with Carol's grandmother and I never imagined that I would be on the receiving end of some nasty shit talking from an older women. I was able to put her in her place by kicking her ass three times in a row.
7. Grandmother continued: Italian women, no matter how old, can still make the best Italian food. God I must of eaten close to 5-6 pounds of pasta and other shit on Saturday night. And it wasn't like I had a choice. These women get so offended if you don't eat everything!! Thank god I love food.
8. Shared a room with Carol and her sister Molly. Great time, except for the night that I had Taco Bell. Ever tried to take a quiet shit while lighting a match? I'm not that coordinated. It never works. I came out of the bathroom and had to deal with the frightened looks of two girls as if they just witnessed a murder. Diffused the situation quickly by making an official speech apologizing to the ladies on behalf of my family and friends. And I had been so good for the other 3 days.
9. Played pool at some dive bar. Molly was a little drunk and ended up flirting with a 40 year old Marine named Randy. Randy ends up joining us for some pool and Molly continues to flirt with him. Molly being drunk does not realize that Randy is following her around like some poor little puppy. I could actually see the desperation ooze from his skin. About an hour into it, I make a little comment to Molly about her flirting tactics with Randy, and Molly is totally oblivious to the entire situation. Then all of a sudden she decides that we all must leave and just drops her pool stick and walks out. Carol follows her and I end up having one of the most awkward conversations with a desperate 40 year Marine. He ends up giving me his business card and expresses to me how much he liked Molly and that we need to hang out tomorrow. I tell him that we will call and quickly run out the door, hoping that he isn't somehow waiting for me and the girls out in the parking lot.
10. At the bar, they were replaying old Florida St.-Miami football games on the big screen. I had to watch Baseball tonight on what seemed like a 12 inch TV, but could watch Charlie Ward scramble around in the backfield on a 60 flat screen.
11. Went for a jog on Monday and somehow got lost in a business park. I couldn't find my way back to the hotel for the life of me. I actually stopped and asked a security guard directions, and this asshole tells me that the hotel is a mile away in one direction, and then shows up in his little cart 10 minutes later to tell me that he told me the wrong way. I guess I should thank him for telling me, but I should make a complaint since he just turned around his little cart and shot off. I actually could of used a ride since my run was then coming close to exceeding an hour in the nice pleasant 95 degree heat with 100% humidity. Lovely run. Just lovely. I hate fucking Florida.
Golf Tourney #5 Preview: Eric as Lisa Kudrow
Heading on a road trip this weekend - going back to Iowa to play in the 69th Iowa Masters (with a detour to beautiful Lima, OH on Thursday for work) . It's a three day event - Friday & Saturday, with a cut after Saturday for Sunday's round - hosted by the Iowa State University. It's an invitational tournament, so I picked this weekend as the one for my one road trip over the summer - gives me a chance to go back there and see some golf (and old work) friends. The course is a classic one - Perry Maxwell design, built in 1939, with a good amount of short holes (5 par 4's under 340) - and you are just as likely to make birdie or double on the short ones.
I conned one of my friends from the plant to caddie for me. Joey is a ISU alum, and I figured - hey, if I make the cut, we'll drink in Ames that Saturday night; if I don't, we'll go back to Iowa City and drink there.
Hotel rooms were hard to get - apparently, the National Special Olympics is ending on Friday, so most of the rooms are booked. On my 4th call, I got a room with the Holiday Inn (I guess that "Priority One" card brings some clout, no?).
Then Joey calls me. He has a friend, Worm (who I've met a couple times, but have no idea what his first name is) who has a brother who is playing in the tourney as well. His brother (Andy) is a D-III golfer at Wartburg, a college better known for its multiple D-III Wrestling championships. Well, Worm and Andy can't find a hotel room, could they stay with us?
So I feel like I'm back in college, except that I am 34 years old. I'm staying with:
Joey, a 26-year old co-worker who can (and has) drink me under the table;
Worm, (as far as I can tell) a 25-year old professional drinker, and
Andy, a 22 year old college student.
I compare myself to Lisa Kudrow from the ill-fated HBO Series The Comeback. I'll try to hang with them, but I'm sure I'll wimp out at the bar (Sloe Gin Fizzes for everyone, waiter!) or say something completely off the wall, like "Anyone up for a game of canasta?"
Should be a lot of fun. If you care, results will be posted here . Andrew Miller is Worm's brother; hopefully, I'll be in a few shots under him. I have an afternoon tee time (2:20 Central) on Friday and a very early 6:50 tee time on Saturday; theoretically, Derek could leave work after a long lunch on Friday, get drunk, and then wake up Saturday morning - and I would have played 36 by then.
I conned one of my friends from the plant to caddie for me. Joey is a ISU alum, and I figured - hey, if I make the cut, we'll drink in Ames that Saturday night; if I don't, we'll go back to Iowa City and drink there.
Hotel rooms were hard to get - apparently, the National Special Olympics is ending on Friday, so most of the rooms are booked. On my 4th call, I got a room with the Holiday Inn (I guess that "Priority One" card brings some clout, no?).
Then Joey calls me. He has a friend, Worm (who I've met a couple times, but have no idea what his first name is) who has a brother who is playing in the tourney as well. His brother (Andy) is a D-III golfer at Wartburg, a college better known for its multiple D-III Wrestling championships. Well, Worm and Andy can't find a hotel room, could they stay with us?
So I feel like I'm back in college, except that I am 34 years old. I'm staying with:
Joey, a 26-year old co-worker who can (and has) drink me under the table;
Worm, (as far as I can tell) a 25-year old professional drinker, and
Andy, a 22 year old college student.
I compare myself to Lisa Kudrow from the ill-fated HBO Series The Comeback. I'll try to hang with them, but I'm sure I'll wimp out at the bar (Sloe Gin Fizzes for everyone, waiter!) or say something completely off the wall, like "Anyone up for a game of canasta?"
Should be a lot of fun. If you care, results will be posted here . Andrew Miller is Worm's brother; hopefully, I'll be in a few shots under him. I have an afternoon tee time (2:20 Central) on Friday and a very early 6:50 tee time on Saturday; theoretically, Derek could leave work after a long lunch on Friday, get drunk, and then wake up Saturday morning - and I would have played 36 by then.
Jul 4, 2006
Happy 4th of July
Happy 4th to all of you! The 4th is quickly becoming one of our favorite holidays. Some of the activities:
- Last night, a few of the neighborhood families got together and watched fireworks from a vacant lot in the neighborhood. The best thing is that the boys are old enough now to run around independently and play by themselves, leaving the adults alone to drink their liquor.
And the "oohs" and "aahs" from 5-year-olds as they see fireworks are priceless.
- Today we went to a township 4th-of-July parade. The police, firemen, ambulances, Cub Scouts, church groups, etc etc etc all parade through a neighborhood. The real highlight is that they threw out candy! When did the 4th become a summer Halloween? We've now got enough candy for the rest of the month.
- A lot of patriotic music was played, but the one that always gets me is Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud To Be An American". This song always gives me the chills. Why? This song was always played in the old Cleveland Browns stadium at about 12:45, about 10 minutes before the national anthem. Being in the stadium at that time (usually in the Dawg Pound, or in the $19 seats that were three rows behind the first base dugout - unfortunately, this was a football game, and that meant we were at ground level about 40 yards behind the West goal post), hearing that song play gave us a blessed feeling of:
- anticipation (the game's about to begin)
- community spirit (fans old and young, sober and drunk, all singing at the top of their lungs)
- and, of course, patriotism (many, MANY veterans in the Dawg Pound and cheap seats in those days)
Whenever I hear that song, it takes me back to those games at the "House of Thrills". I loved that old stadium.
- And this afternoon, we will take a journey to the race track. Nothing screams "American" than taking your two preschools sons to a race track.
- Last night, a few of the neighborhood families got together and watched fireworks from a vacant lot in the neighborhood. The best thing is that the boys are old enough now to run around independently and play by themselves, leaving the adults alone to drink their liquor.
And the "oohs" and "aahs" from 5-year-olds as they see fireworks are priceless.
- Today we went to a township 4th-of-July parade. The police, firemen, ambulances, Cub Scouts, church groups, etc etc etc all parade through a neighborhood. The real highlight is that they threw out candy! When did the 4th become a summer Halloween? We've now got enough candy for the rest of the month.
- A lot of patriotic music was played, but the one that always gets me is Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud To Be An American". This song always gives me the chills. Why? This song was always played in the old Cleveland Browns stadium at about 12:45, about 10 minutes before the national anthem. Being in the stadium at that time (usually in the Dawg Pound, or in the $19 seats that were three rows behind the first base dugout - unfortunately, this was a football game, and that meant we were at ground level about 40 yards behind the West goal post), hearing that song play gave us a blessed feeling of:
- anticipation (the game's about to begin)
- community spirit (fans old and young, sober and drunk, all singing at the top of their lungs)
- and, of course, patriotism (many, MANY veterans in the Dawg Pound and cheap seats in those days)
Whenever I hear that song, it takes me back to those games at the "House of Thrills". I loved that old stadium.
- And this afternoon, we will take a journey to the race track. Nothing screams "American" than taking your two preschools sons to a race track.
Jul 2, 2006
World Cup Standings
Well, we have a winner. Don Hershey and his 21 points in pool play have captured the first Zahn Brother's World Cup Draft Tournament. Congrats!!!! And I'm happy that Don won since it really seemed important to him. After the golf tournament two weeks ago in Ohio, Don was more excited about his WC teams going undefeated that afternoon than him actual golf score. Classic gambler and an excellent addition to the group.
But, there is an excellent battle for second place. Will post the final results next week.
Change of attitude
So for the second consecutive time when traveling, I have had some major travel issues. This time it was US Air/America West. I had to travel from LA to Boca Raton this weekend to help out Carol and her sister with their grandmother. I had taken a 1/2 day on Friday so I could get there around 10:00pm. Enough time to get in, get some food and drinks and still get a good night sleep.
So my connection from LA to Phoenix went very well, and everything seemed to be going well on my flight to Phoenix to Boca. But when the plane got out to the runway, we had to turn around. The pilot stated that he needed maintenance to come on board to check out something really small that concerned him. We taxi back to the gate and within 5 minutes they make us deboard the plane since the problem seemed bigger than expected. I start to hem and haw in my seat while they make this announcement and the older lady and the business man next to me start to talk to me about their past travel problems. I tell them that United sucks ass and since they cancelled my flight on New Years Eve from Baltimore to LA and that I had to spend the night in Chicago two weeks ago. The guy tells me a story that American screwed him 2 times in a row and that it took him close to 24 hours to get back to St. Louis from Frisco, and the lady tells me that she dumped Delta due to the same type of shit. We all start laughing since there really isn't a good option for air travel anymore since all the airlines are terrible right now. The only thing that we could agree on is that Southwest seems to be the only reliable option right now. But the problem now with Southwest is that they have jacked up their prices so much that they are more expensive that United, Delta, and American. And not just by a little, but in some cases they are twice as much. For example, I need to fly from LA to Baltimore in August and September. The cheapest Southwest flight (two stops) I can get is $565, while I can get on a non-stop United flight for $325. Hmmm, do I pay the extra $200 to make sure that my flight gets there on time? Do I reward a shitty airline once again? Nope. Not anymore. I'm done with that. I'll pay the extra money just so I know that I'll get there ontime.
Now, back to US Air. So they take only 30 minutes to find another plane and then another 45 minutes to load the luggage and passengers. Not too bad I think, and now I'll get into Boca around midnight. For some reason I decide to double check my math (leave at 5:20 and its a 4 hour flight to Boca plus the 3 hour time change) and I ask the ticket agent what time we will be getting in. He responds that we will be getting in at 2:00am. Um...what? I stand there for maybe 5 seconds before I respond with a "What? That doesn't make sense." He responds that the plane will make a stop in Dallas for gas. Do we not have gas in Phoenix? Some people overhear this and it spreads like wildfire and everyone breaks out into a near riot. People are pissed. I mean extremely pissed. I'm now in a weird state where I'm not pissed because its all too common, and I find this happy medium where I've decided to not get pissed or angry on items that are out of my control. I go call Lee and have a beer, while he trys to get me riled up, but it really doesn't work. I'm beginning to like this new attitude.
And finally to top it off, after a 14 hour commute to Boca, Carol is still sleeping in the hotel room since she forgot to wake up to pick me up. I finally get back to the room and in bed around 3:30am. Nice. I'm done with traveling after this. Seriously. I'm making my two trips back to Baltimore and canceling all other trips except for the ones that Ben and I drive out to Vegas.
So my connection from LA to Phoenix went very well, and everything seemed to be going well on my flight to Phoenix to Boca. But when the plane got out to the runway, we had to turn around. The pilot stated that he needed maintenance to come on board to check out something really small that concerned him. We taxi back to the gate and within 5 minutes they make us deboard the plane since the problem seemed bigger than expected. I start to hem and haw in my seat while they make this announcement and the older lady and the business man next to me start to talk to me about their past travel problems. I tell them that United sucks ass and since they cancelled my flight on New Years Eve from Baltimore to LA and that I had to spend the night in Chicago two weeks ago. The guy tells me a story that American screwed him 2 times in a row and that it took him close to 24 hours to get back to St. Louis from Frisco, and the lady tells me that she dumped Delta due to the same type of shit. We all start laughing since there really isn't a good option for air travel anymore since all the airlines are terrible right now. The only thing that we could agree on is that Southwest seems to be the only reliable option right now. But the problem now with Southwest is that they have jacked up their prices so much that they are more expensive that United, Delta, and American. And not just by a little, but in some cases they are twice as much. For example, I need to fly from LA to Baltimore in August and September. The cheapest Southwest flight (two stops) I can get is $565, while I can get on a non-stop United flight for $325. Hmmm, do I pay the extra $200 to make sure that my flight gets there on time? Do I reward a shitty airline once again? Nope. Not anymore. I'm done with that. I'll pay the extra money just so I know that I'll get there ontime.
Now, back to US Air. So they take only 30 minutes to find another plane and then another 45 minutes to load the luggage and passengers. Not too bad I think, and now I'll get into Boca around midnight. For some reason I decide to double check my math (leave at 5:20 and its a 4 hour flight to Boca plus the 3 hour time change) and I ask the ticket agent what time we will be getting in. He responds that we will be getting in at 2:00am. Um...what? I stand there for maybe 5 seconds before I respond with a "What? That doesn't make sense." He responds that the plane will make a stop in Dallas for gas. Do we not have gas in Phoenix? Some people overhear this and it spreads like wildfire and everyone breaks out into a near riot. People are pissed. I mean extremely pissed. I'm now in a weird state where I'm not pissed because its all too common, and I find this happy medium where I've decided to not get pissed or angry on items that are out of my control. I go call Lee and have a beer, while he trys to get me riled up, but it really doesn't work. I'm beginning to like this new attitude.
And finally to top it off, after a 14 hour commute to Boca, Carol is still sleeping in the hotel room since she forgot to wake up to pick me up. I finally get back to the room and in bed around 3:30am. Nice. I'm done with traveling after this. Seriously. I'm making my two trips back to Baltimore and canceling all other trips except for the ones that Ben and I drive out to Vegas.
Jun 29, 2006
3 Questions for Friday
Three quick questions for you all to answer on
- Is there a problem with a man signing a prenup? K Fed did it, which means that its OK right???
- Does the baseball-sex analogy still remain the same when you are talking about a threesome? Does 1st base still mean the same with one girl or two? Shouldn't it mean more with 2 girls? Like in a threesome shouldn't 1st base equal getting two girls into your place and taking off their shoes? I mean that's a lot more work than feeling up a girl.
- Aren't you excited for the NBA to start up? I'm so excited to see just how bad the Knicks will be, or at least see the entire Knick fan base root against their own team.
Bigbie's got our back
I'm sure many of you already viewed Adam Corolla's movie idea for a having a submarine roll up to a country club and rob all of their cars. If not, it is a must see. "I hope I got your attention now".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-ovdfKMBE
Anyway, this got Ben and I talking about if we had to put together a crew for either good or evil, who would it include. Well here is the list that a drunk Ben and a tired self put together late last night while watching endless amounts of UFC on the Spike channel.
- Creasey Bear- Denzel Washington's character from Man on Fire. His scenes when torturing those guys deserve the roll as our interrogator.
- Ben Kingsley- The brain behind the operation and instructs the crew on the plan. Nobody really gets to see him since he only communicates to us through a speaker phone.
- Richie and Keith- explosive experts. I haven't seen anything that they haven't been able to catch on fire or destroy.
- Begbie (Trainspotting)- need him just in case if we get in a fight in a British bar. Or if we need some money to be collected.
- Bullet Tooth Tony (Snatch)- need him just in case Begbie isn't around or too drunk to fight.
- Whistler (Sneakers)- As our blind computer guy and hacker. I had to really argue Ben for this one since he wanted to go with Ving Rheames from Mission Impossible.
- Jason Borne as our driver. Matt Damon's character might of had the best car chase I've seen since the one in 1992 on York Rd.
- Michael Cheritto- Tom Seizemore's character from Heat. We need a role player in the group. Not everyone can be an allstar.
- Chong Li as our Asian enforcer.
Is this our future.....
So I get a call from my counterpart and friend Jeff Maier in Ohio today explaining that he received a call from our VP of Product Management last week expressing the need for him to check out a new type of vehicle that is being made in his area by a company called Myers Motors in Cleveland. This car is supposed to be electric and have a driving radius of 15 miles. Target customers are people living in cities with a short commute. They contacted our company to join in a partnership with them for advertising and insurance, basing it on that the public would be all for an insurance company backing an environmentally sound car alternative.So Jeff goes out with a couple of his supervisors to check out the company and the car. This is what they are producing. A three wheeled golf cart thingy. He forwards me this picture and I just can't stop laughing. He then calls me to explain his driving experience. Not only did he crack his head on the roof when he went over a speed bump (no head room), but it is rear wheel drive. Rear wheel drive???? With only one wheel? So what happens when Jeff is pulling out into traffic on wet pavement? That's right, spins it out of control and almost wrecks the thing into a curb. Jeff seems to have these issues of wrecking cars when it is most inconvenient, like over in Spain or a driving a prototype vehicle. And speaking of accidents, we as an insurance industry are extremely concerned with all of the hybrid cars that are being produced now, since they are made out of paper (one cheap way to increase the MPG). I alone have seen at least 10 pretty bad accidents with hybrids that have resulted in serious injury with a moderate impact. That's not good. And now you want to put these things on the road? Yeah, that makes sense. On the flip side, he did say that the vehicle was extremely fast and quick and did not make a sound for whatever that is worth.
Anyway, my biggest pet peeve about this whole hybrid/electric car transition is when will the car companies realize that they don't have to make the car look ugly or odd for it to be a hybrid? When will there be a normal looking car that comes out that is either electric or a hybrid. Am I missing something????
Golf update from Tuesday
Well, since you didn't hear from me on Tuesday, golf didn't go well.
Let's just say I made an 8 on a hole.
On a par 3.
Of 130 yards.
With no penalty strokes.
But I did 1-putt the hole!
The par 3 had a hazard in front, and a huge embankment behind the green that went down a good 70-80 feet. I hit an easy PW, and the ball flew too far, kicked off the back of the green and down the hill. The hill was cleared out, so that ball rolled... and rolled... and rolled, about 60 yards down the hill, about 50 feet below the surface of teh green. Oh - and there were plenty of trees on the embankment as well!
5 chips later (it kind of got fuzzy for a while there, after successive attempts hit a tree, then came up 20 feet short with the ball then rolling all the way back down to my feet), I got the level of the green; and from there I made a nice up and down from greenside rough. 8.
I missed the cut by 10 stroles, which seems like a lot, but as I review, only 3 swings cost me:
1) the 8 on a par 3 (5 strokes)
2) A missed layup on a par 5 caused me to then hit my 3rd shot into the water from rough (2 strokes wasted)
3) A bad drive into heavy weeds on a par 4 caused a triple (3 strokes).
There's your 10 shots right there.
Anyway, I did learn that "Flgapole Sitta" is a pretty good song to have in your head while you play. My tempo was smooth as I was singing: "Paranoia, Paranoia, everybody's coming to get me...." during my backswing.
Let's just say I made an 8 on a hole.
On a par 3.
Of 130 yards.
With no penalty strokes.
But I did 1-putt the hole!
The par 3 had a hazard in front, and a huge embankment behind the green that went down a good 70-80 feet. I hit an easy PW, and the ball flew too far, kicked off the back of the green and down the hill. The hill was cleared out, so that ball rolled... and rolled... and rolled, about 60 yards down the hill, about 50 feet below the surface of teh green. Oh - and there were plenty of trees on the embankment as well!
5 chips later (it kind of got fuzzy for a while there, after successive attempts hit a tree, then came up 20 feet short with the ball then rolling all the way back down to my feet), I got the level of the green; and from there I made a nice up and down from greenside rough. 8.
I missed the cut by 10 stroles, which seems like a lot, but as I review, only 3 swings cost me:
1) the 8 on a par 3 (5 strokes)
2) A missed layup on a par 5 caused me to then hit my 3rd shot into the water from rough (2 strokes wasted)
3) A bad drive into heavy weeds on a par 4 caused a triple (3 strokes).
There's your 10 shots right there.
Anyway, I did learn that "Flgapole Sitta" is a pretty good song to have in your head while you play. My tempo was smooth as I was singing: "Paranoia, Paranoia, everybody's coming to get me...." during my backswing.
Jun 27, 2006
The lack of logic in a liberal arts mind
I'm ignoring golfing updates for now to bring you this article, which floored me.
Please read this op-ed to the Charlotte Observer by Dr. Susan Roberts. The topic is the proposed flag-burning amendment.
Now, can you spot the fatal flaw in her argument? Hint - it's in the third to last paragraph.
The kicker - the author is a professor of Political Science at Davidson.
How could a political science professor not know how our government works? It boggles the mind...
Please read this op-ed to the Charlotte Observer by Dr. Susan Roberts. The topic is the proposed flag-burning amendment.
Now, can you spot the fatal flaw in her argument? Hint - it's in the third to last paragraph.
The kicker - the author is a professor of Political Science at Davidson.
How could a political science professor not know how our government works? It boggles the mind...
Jun 26, 2006
Monday Night update
Well, one round in the books. A very up-and-down 77 today puts me in (ironically) 77th place. That puts me on the outside looking into the top 64 for match play. However, it looks like lower scores were shot at the 2nd course that I'm playing tomorrow. All of the top 4 scores were posted at Elks Run, the course I am at tomorrow.
Stats for today:
Fairways: 6
Greens: 8 ( goal was 10)
Bob Wickman stats: for those 8 greens, 1 birdie and 2 3-putts.
Total putts: 31
Up and down: 6 / 11.
Doubles or higher: none
I guess golf all evens out. I three-putted two holes on the back side, but made 2 10-foot downhill sliders for par, also on the back.
I have a feeling 152 or 153 will be the number - stay tuned tomorrow to see if the Terps get off the bubble and make the field.
Don, by the way, played extremely well but couldn't putt. He hit 15 greens and shot 75. He is changing putters for tomorrow. So, David Riske is out, I guess.
Stats for today:
Fairways: 6
Greens: 8 ( goal was 10)
Bob Wickman stats: for those 8 greens, 1 birdie and 2 3-putts.
Total putts: 31
Up and down: 6 / 11.
Doubles or higher: none
I guess golf all evens out. I three-putted two holes on the back side, but made 2 10-foot downhill sliders for par, also on the back.
I have a feeling 152 or 153 will be the number - stay tuned tomorrow to see if the Terps get off the bubble and make the field.
Don, by the way, played extremely well but couldn't putt. He hit 15 greens and shot 75. He is changing putters for tomorrow. So, David Riske is out, I guess.
Jun 25, 2006
Golf Update
Well, tournament #4 is upon us. Monday and Tuesday is the 97th Cincinnati Amateur Championship. Approx 240 people have entered; the field will play 2 different courses on Monday and Tuesday and the low 64 go to a single-elimination match play bracket for the rest of the week.
I feel like I may have figured some things out last week - had a great range session on Wednesday where I dicovered I was too hunched over- again. Once I addressed the ball in an upright manner, I was striping the driver and hitting solid iron for the first time this year.
The game plan for each round is simple:
a) hit 10 greens or so
b) Make sure Bob Wickman shows up and we "convert the save" for those 10 greens into pars (no 3 jacks)
c) Avoid the Noid (doubles or higher)
d) and get up and down 4 out of 8 times on the 8 greens we don't hit.
If we throw in one birdie into that mix, that equates to a +3 round, more than good enough to make match play. Don and I are thinking that 152-154 is the number.
Others to watch in this tournament:
1) Don (Hershey);
2) Scott Fearn, another P&G er who I met a few years ago; when I was in Iowa, he was diagnosed with skin cancer but is recovering and beating it. That scares the hell out of me. When I hear golfers my age coming down with skin cancer, I can't help but think that my 25 years on the course is going to catch up with me soon and I'll be next.
3) "The Good Doctor", Dr. Todd Pieper, my dentist (and Don's too). A good friend who actually made the round of 16 in this tourney in 2004.
4) And Chris Sabo. Yes, that Chris Sabo.
If I am going to continually post updates on the golf tournaments here, I should, you know, actually play well one of these times. Check this website: www.gcga.org for results; I'll post Monday night to let you know if we are on pace to make the field of 64 or if I'm a bubble team like the Terrapins - good, but not good enough to get in.
I feel like I may have figured some things out last week - had a great range session on Wednesday where I dicovered I was too hunched over- again. Once I addressed the ball in an upright manner, I was striping the driver and hitting solid iron for the first time this year.
The game plan for each round is simple:
a) hit 10 greens or so
b) Make sure Bob Wickman shows up and we "convert the save" for those 10 greens into pars (no 3 jacks)
c) Avoid the Noid (doubles or higher)
d) and get up and down 4 out of 8 times on the 8 greens we don't hit.
If we throw in one birdie into that mix, that equates to a +3 round, more than good enough to make match play. Don and I are thinking that 152-154 is the number.
Others to watch in this tournament:
1) Don (Hershey);
2) Scott Fearn, another P&G er who I met a few years ago; when I was in Iowa, he was diagnosed with skin cancer but is recovering and beating it. That scares the hell out of me. When I hear golfers my age coming down with skin cancer, I can't help but think that my 25 years on the course is going to catch up with me soon and I'll be next.
3) "The Good Doctor", Dr. Todd Pieper, my dentist (and Don's too). A good friend who actually made the round of 16 in this tourney in 2004.
4) And Chris Sabo. Yes, that Chris Sabo.
If I am going to continually post updates on the golf tournaments here, I should, you know, actually play well one of these times. Check this website: www.gcga.org for results; I'll post Monday night to let you know if we are on pace to make the field of 64 or if I'm a bubble team like the Terrapins - good, but not good enough to get in.
Jun 22, 2006
Sports Comments
It will be interesting to see how they handle the Guillen situation. I wasn't all that interested in his comments until someone brought up the fact that they ran Ms. Schott out of baseball for racial slurs and this is in the same context. Don't you think?
Boy, what a pitiful performance by the US today. I'm beginning to understand why Eric tends to root against the US in international play, due to all of the unnecessary hyping of our sports products. Bode Miller, Olympic Basketball, WBC baseball team, and now the US Soccer team. Come on. A lose to Ghana????? Unacceptable. You talk about a blown chance to capitalize on the World Cup. Ugh.
Wow, the A's pulled out all the stops last night for a must win. Street for two innings and Calero for two innings. You think Macha wanted that win to move 1 game ahead of the Rangers? And how do we get shut out twice (1 hit two nights again by Jennings) in Colorado? Here comes the offensive slump I was expecting in early May.
Non sports related comment. Will 80's ballards come back into style enough for people to start having them as their wedding songs. I'm so excited to possibly go to a wedding where they use Firehouse as the first song. Dude, I'm looking in your direction for this. I'm sure we can convince Beth that Brad and Angela used it as their wedding song.
Jun 21, 2006
Gummo!!!!
I've been watching some fucked up movies recently, which reminded me of a movie I saw about 6 years ago that tops them all. When I used to live with Currier, and he was getting all artsy on me, he made me watch a movie from the guy that did Kids called Gummo. I remember watching this movie in stunned silence by myself and then not really being able to discuss it with Currier since we both thought it was so fucked up. It is definitely worth a watch if you have about 2 hours to waste.
Monday's Golf Update
Well, a disappointing day on Monday in the 36-hole US Publinks Qualifier. Thanks to Derek for an excellent job of caddieing (and believe me, he really didn't have any help from the other caddies in the group. One was an 18-year old girl, the neighbor of the golfer's brother; the other was a college buddy of the golfer, who seemed to be there to crack jokes.)
It started off OK, with two pars on two kind of easy holes; after bogeys on 3 and 4, I went to the 5th tee, a severe dogleg left of 400 yds, downhills. You can't miss left because there are trees all down the left side. I get on the tee, decide to get a bit greedy. I pull the ball left dead into the trees.
The trees were a hazard, so I got to drop in the rough with a fairly favorable angle down the fairway. "OK, just draw this 5 wood around; you can get it down there to about 60 yards; maybe you can get out with a 5!" Well, I pulled it again into the woods. Another penality.
Another drop, a pitchout, a wedge, 2 putts for an 8... and my tournament is over on the 5th holes of 36. Really - being +6 after 5 in a tourney where you need to shoot +2 or +3 over 36 is not good.
So after a couple holes to calm down and accept that, I lightened up and started to make fun of this guy in our group. His scorecard, through 9 holes:
Par 445 345 434 - 36
His score 656 659 846 - 55
Oh my. And yes, we were setting lines on whether he was going to quit after 9 or 18; I then hit a punch shot (that had to stay low under some branches) from 120 yards; I tried too hard to keep it low and topped it into the water. Yes, the gooch lives.
I ended up shooting 85 in the morning - 46-39. Idiot playing partner shot 98. Yes, a NINETY EIGHT! Wow. After his 7th 3-(or more) putt on 16, he went up to the hole, bent down, and from a foot away, flipped off the hole. I think I let out a little giggle at that point.
In the afternoon, I hit the ball a little better - but I missed three greens with 9-irons or less. I did avoid the big number, and shot 77 with three birdies.
Derek set the over-under for the idiot's afternoon round at 91; there is a little controversy surrounding that bet. The scorer for the idiot (me) had him making a 6 on the 9th hole; he said he made 5. We discussed this in the scoring tent at the end. I gave in since it really didn't F*N matter.
The scary thing is, if he truly made 6 on the hole, that would have gave him a total of....91 for the round. Wow, Derek, you should apply for a job in Vegas solely on this story alone.
He really got on my case inthe afternoon. He was constantly lining up his putts, backing away, looking at the line, and then adjusting (and re-adjusting) the line on the ball while it was on the green. I mean, this is ok once, but if this is your 3rd putt for a triple on the 31st hole of a tournament where you are +28, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
(you think I exaggerate, but I am not.)
The third guy in our group was a schoolteacher and a great golfer; he shot 76 in the morning and hit the ball superb in the afternoon; however, he missed at least 7 putts of under 15' and ended up shooting 73. He missed qualifying by 2 strokes.
Stats from the round:
Rd 1 Rd 2
Score 85 77
Fwy 5 7
GIR 8 8
Putts 34 29
Up & Down 4/8 4/11 (!?)
Others 2 1
Wow. It's clear I really need improvement on the irons. Went to the range to figure it out today. The 4/11 up and down rate in round 2 shocked me. I didn't think it was nearly that bad.
Oh well. My 85-77=162 lost to Don's 80-81=161. Full results and photos (Don and I are on page 2; I am the last 2 pictures of that page; the "idiot" I mention above is right next to me in fashionable cargo shorts) are found here.Don has some good stories from his group; I'll let him tell them in the comments section. Two of the subjects:
- "68 and change"
- how NOT to drop a ball in a tournament.
Next tournament: next week, the Cincinnati city championship. 36 holes (over 2 days) to qualify for a 64-person field for matchplay. Results to be found at gcga.org . Don will be playing as well.
It started off OK, with two pars on two kind of easy holes; after bogeys on 3 and 4, I went to the 5th tee, a severe dogleg left of 400 yds, downhills. You can't miss left because there are trees all down the left side. I get on the tee, decide to get a bit greedy. I pull the ball left dead into the trees.
The trees were a hazard, so I got to drop in the rough with a fairly favorable angle down the fairway. "OK, just draw this 5 wood around; you can get it down there to about 60 yards; maybe you can get out with a 5!" Well, I pulled it again into the woods. Another penality.
Another drop, a pitchout, a wedge, 2 putts for an 8... and my tournament is over on the 5th holes of 36. Really - being +6 after 5 in a tourney where you need to shoot +2 or +3 over 36 is not good.
So after a couple holes to calm down and accept that, I lightened up and started to make fun of this guy in our group. His scorecard, through 9 holes:
Par 445 345 434 - 36
His score 656 659 846 - 55
Oh my. And yes, we were setting lines on whether he was going to quit after 9 or 18; I then hit a punch shot (that had to stay low under some branches) from 120 yards; I tried too hard to keep it low and topped it into the water. Yes, the gooch lives.
I ended up shooting 85 in the morning - 46-39. Idiot playing partner shot 98. Yes, a NINETY EIGHT! Wow. After his 7th 3-(or more) putt on 16, he went up to the hole, bent down, and from a foot away, flipped off the hole. I think I let out a little giggle at that point.
In the afternoon, I hit the ball a little better - but I missed three greens with 9-irons or less. I did avoid the big number, and shot 77 with three birdies.
Derek set the over-under for the idiot's afternoon round at 91; there is a little controversy surrounding that bet. The scorer for the idiot (me) had him making a 6 on the 9th hole; he said he made 5. We discussed this in the scoring tent at the end. I gave in since it really didn't F*N matter.
The scary thing is, if he truly made 6 on the hole, that would have gave him a total of....91 for the round. Wow, Derek, you should apply for a job in Vegas solely on this story alone.
He really got on my case inthe afternoon. He was constantly lining up his putts, backing away, looking at the line, and then adjusting (and re-adjusting) the line on the ball while it was on the green. I mean, this is ok once, but if this is your 3rd putt for a triple on the 31st hole of a tournament where you are +28, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
(you think I exaggerate, but I am not.)
The third guy in our group was a schoolteacher and a great golfer; he shot 76 in the morning and hit the ball superb in the afternoon; however, he missed at least 7 putts of under 15' and ended up shooting 73. He missed qualifying by 2 strokes.
Stats from the round:
Rd 1 Rd 2
Score 85 77
Fwy 5 7
GIR 8 8
Putts 34 29
Up & Down 4/8 4/11 (!?)
Others 2 1
Wow. It's clear I really need improvement on the irons. Went to the range to figure it out today. The 4/11 up and down rate in round 2 shocked me. I didn't think it was nearly that bad.
Oh well. My 85-77=162 lost to Don's 80-81=161. Full results and photos (Don and I are on page 2; I am the last 2 pictures of that page; the "idiot" I mention above is right next to me in fashionable cargo shorts) are found here.Don has some good stories from his group; I'll let him tell them in the comments section. Two of the subjects:
- "68 and change"
- how NOT to drop a ball in a tournament.
Next tournament: next week, the Cincinnati city championship. 36 holes (over 2 days) to qualify for a 64-person field for matchplay. Results to be found at gcga.org . Don will be playing as well.
Jun 19, 2006
All nighter at O'Hare
I had a long post about this weekend at Eric's house, but I decided that I should probably make some comments about my all nighter (in progress) at Chicago's O'Hare Airport thanks again in part to United. Now I won't totally bash United since they gave me an out and I decided to gamble, hoping that I could make my connection to LA, but I was roughly 15 minutes late. Now its 11:20pm and I have to wait until 6:00am to ride standby to LA. I need to somehow get on that flight so that I can get to LA, drive about 2 hours south in morning traffic to get changed and then drive back up to LA by Noon for my diversity job fair. Ugh. Here are some comments and tips to make your all night stay in an airport a little more comfortable.
- The underground walkway between terminal C-B is such a waste of money. I think that I'm the only person that enjoys this, since I'm always getting pushed to the side as I'm trying to enjoy all the different colors. I guess nobody likes flashing neon anymore except for me and the local retards?
- Seating. It seems as if there is an arm rest every two seats in all United Terminals. This makes it almost impossible to get comfortable while trying to lay down. And to make matters worse, I walked close to 10 miles today carrying Eric's bag, so my legs are so tight right now that I just can't get comfortable. And don't get me started about the chaffing.
- Cleanliness: Try changing clothes in a bathroom stall here. It was probably the most disturbing things that I have done. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow morning when I need to brush my teeth.
- Cots: They told me that they had cots for us to sleep on at Terminal 2. Hmmm that's strange, then why do I see all these people sleeping on the floor everywhere else. So I decided to check it out. They forgot to say that its actually a homeless center and its not owned by United, but the city. I'll pass.
- CNN TV: Wouldn't be so bad if they would change it off of Headline News. I can't believe I'm saying this, but please turn on Anderson Cooper or Larry!!!!!!!
- I have not seen a girl over the rating of 3 in the past 2 hours. The closest I've gotten was a decent cleaning lady who vacuumed my bed who had 4 teeth.
- Everything shuts down early here. Not too sure why since there has to be close to 1000 stranded people here. Even Hudson News is closed.
- 36 holes of golf and no shower. Nothing that some Gillette lotion and Degree deodorant can't solve. I've fallen in love with Degree since it smells like gingerbread cookies. I like my pits to smell like cookies, don't you?
- OK, onto some comments from this weekend:
- While trying to post in the car while going to golf, Eric peeked over and saw that I was trying to find an image on Yahoo. "What does that say? Devil Children?" Umm.. yes.
- I figured out why I have so many problems visiting Eric and the kids. Its because I try and hang out with both the kids and Eric too much. For example, Freddie wakes me up at 6:00am to play, after I went to bed at 2:00am the night before hanging out with Eric. I can't function like that. Eric gets to wake up late, while I'm downstairs playing soccer, legos, and making breakfast. Yes Eric I know the breakfast consisted of Apple Jacks and chocolate and peanut butter rice cakes, but it was still breakfast.
- Some assholes hit up on us (a chip shot, not a crushed 3 wood on a par 5) while playing golf on Saturday. I had a few words in the clubhouse for the two college kids that did this, which resulted in Eric yelling "Stop it Freddie". Freddie? Eric's response was that Freddie's name comes just so natural to him when he is yelling at someone that its hard for him not to yell it.
- Only had a club chucked at me twice and the water bottle once during Eric's 36 holes. Not too bad. I'm not going to ruin anything, but when I started to laugh at him and telling him that this was perfect fodder for the blog, he wasn't too pleased. I think he responded with a "Write whatever the fuck you want" and then stormed off.
- It is so much fun watching Eric get pissed at another golfer. Those looks and snide comments are killer.
- Settings odds on the one guy in our group on when he would withdraw sent out some very bad karma. I had -300 after nine, -1000 after 18 and off the board anytime during the second 18. With Eric cackling during the entire bit, and with me stating that we shouldn't be discussing it since it would be such bad karma, Eric puts one in the water...Which was about 8 feet in front of him....With a pitching wedge...in which he put up a 7 to end the round. Wow, let this be a lesson to all of you.
- I was a sight to see out there today at the course. I would of made all the pros proud. I didn't get any help from the other caddies and I didn't miss a beat. Raked all the bunkers (6), pulled all but 2 pins, cleaned all the clubs, and only had one mishap when Eric's bag broke. Yes, I had to go without the main strap to his bag for the last 12 holes. And I didn't even complain about it.
- Eric runs a crooked craps table. Don't go there to gamble.
- Eric's wife Janice is a fabulous cook. Tell her thank you again Eric. Shark, Pork Chops, Risoto, Grilled Veggies and Fruit (very good), and that ice cream cone she made me on Sunday night. Mmmmmm.
- Had some serious conversations about marriage and kids with Eric and Janice. Looks like I just need to get Janice and mom's final approval asap.
OK, I'm done for now. I'm fading fast and my bed seems to be calling me. Will update you on how the rest of the night goes.
Don sucks.
I used to like Don. But now I hate him. Why? Because he is some crazy World Cup handicapper. May all his teams lose in the first round. Good day.
Jun 16, 2006
Weekend in Ohio
Nothing really to say about this except that it made me chuckle. Off to go see Eric and try to whip him into shape. Its been too long and he has become soft. "Oh, I shot an 86 and I'm happy." Oh boy this should be fun. I hope there is a random chair out on the course so I can chuck it across the green when Eric 3 putts for a bogie, just to uphold my Bobby Knight image. Don, I'll see you at Eric's craps table on Saturday evening. Maybe Eric will have enough balls to actually bank the table. Or maybe I will?????? Anyway, I'll probably post a running diary of our golf match with Don and his caddie as well as the festivities that evening. I really don't know if there is anything more enjoyable to watch than seeing Eric drunk and gambling at his own private craps table.
Golf update
Had the first big tournament this week - the state Mid-Am. Some of you may have noticed that I ballooned to an 86 in the first round. I regained some dignity with a 77 in the 2nd round, and jumped 30 places or so to a tie for 61st.
The course was set up tough - the greens were running at 11 on the stimp; the fairways were tight and the rough, while not at US Open proportions, was penal. In some cases, I was 5 yards off the fairway and had to use a 7 iron to advance the ball.
I'm trying to figure out what happened in the first round- I did seem a bit jittery and tense; it doesn't help that I'm trying to make some minor changes in the swing. Add the swing changes to a tournament atmosphere and the tightness of the course, and that's a disaster.
The stats did improve for the second round, however:
Rd 1 Rd 2
Fwys hit 6 9
GIR 7 8
Putts 36 31
Up and downs 2/9 5/9
"others" 2 0
I also feel good since I left some strokes out there - I bogeyed 3 of the easiest holes out there (3 holes that I parred during the 86!) and had a 3-putt. And - only 8 players in the field (state amateurs over 25 years old) broke 75 that day.
So I feel like that round was a step forward. Derek "Bobby Knight" Zahn thinks different, and has said the score is unacceptable. He'll whip me into shape this weekend when he caddies at the US Publinks qualifier on Monday. Rain may be in the forecast, so it will be a fun day of me throwing clubs, towels and umbrellas at Derek to see if he can juggle all of that and keep it all dry.
The course was set up tough - the greens were running at 11 on the stimp; the fairways were tight and the rough, while not at US Open proportions, was penal. In some cases, I was 5 yards off the fairway and had to use a 7 iron to advance the ball.
I'm trying to figure out what happened in the first round- I did seem a bit jittery and tense; it doesn't help that I'm trying to make some minor changes in the swing. Add the swing changes to a tournament atmosphere and the tightness of the course, and that's a disaster.
The stats did improve for the second round, however:
Rd 1 Rd 2
Fwys hit 6 9
GIR 7 8
Putts 36 31
Up and downs 2/9 5/9
"others" 2 0
I also feel good since I left some strokes out there - I bogeyed 3 of the easiest holes out there (3 holes that I parred during the 86!) and had a 3-putt. And - only 8 players in the field (state amateurs over 25 years old) broke 75 that day.
So I feel like that round was a step forward. Derek "Bobby Knight" Zahn thinks different, and has said the score is unacceptable. He'll whip me into shape this weekend when he caddies at the US Publinks qualifier on Monday. Rain may be in the forecast, so it will be a fun day of me throwing clubs, towels and umbrellas at Derek to see if he can juggle all of that and keep it all dry.
Jun 15, 2006
What is a "bogey train"?
Golfers know what is meant by getting on the "bogey train" - you've had multiple bogeys in a row and can't seem to make a par to stop the bleeding.
Well, what is the definition of a bogey train? Don came up with the following guidelines...
1 bogey - you have a ticket for the train
2 bogies - you have boarded the train and the whistle is sounding
3 bogies - the train is moving; it has left the station
Any suggestions on what the rest of the sequence should represent?
Tiger has started the day by owning a ticket, boarding the train and now he's on route to Montpelier.
Well, what is the definition of a bogey train? Don came up with the following guidelines...
1 bogey - you have a ticket for the train
2 bogies - you have boarded the train and the whistle is sounding
3 bogies - the train is moving; it has left the station
Any suggestions on what the rest of the sequence should represent?
Tiger has started the day by owning a ticket, boarding the train and now he's on route to Montpelier.
The Beach
Crazy shit went down during the last two days at my beach. Yes, my beach. I own it. Tuesday Evening: 7:00pm: I went for a nice long slow run down at the beach. Felt really good starting out and at the 2.5 mile mark of the run, right as I was about to turn around and come back, I suddenly had to puke. Not too sure why since I wasn't tired or sick, but it was something that came on me in a span of like 10 seconds. I had no time to run to the bathroom or try to dig a hole in the sand. So I just bent over and let it loose. Just such a nice scene for that one young couple walking my way, probably on their honeymoon trying to enjoy the beach during the sunset. And it was a loud puke since I dry heaved about 5 times before anything came out since I had only eaten some toast and a yogurt before my run. Ugh.
Wedensday Evening 7:00pm: Had a long day at work so I decided to take a long walk down at the beach, talk to Ariel, and smoke a nice cigar that one of my supervisors gave me last week. I ended up taking Ben's Ipod with me just in case my phone died so I had something to listen to while I walked. When I got down to the beach, the water looked so nice, I decided to go in up to my knees while talking to Ariel, so I put the Ipod in my shoes, placed them in the sand, and started to walk in. I was standing there in the surf for about 10 minutes when I got blindsided by what seems to of been a 4 foot rouge wave. After I quickly recover, I see that this wave is easily going to engulf my shoes and Ben's Ipod. While still talking to Ariel, I make a 20 yard sprint to the shoes, rescuing the Ipod, but dropping the phone and lossing my other shoe. And to top it off I sort of slipped trying to reach for the phone as it fell and now I'm caked in sand. In normal Derek style, I call Ariel back and then decided to finish my cigar while lying in the sand and spread out like one of those Playboy models. Once again there were plenty of couples walking around to see this display, and now I could tell that they were all judging me on my decision to lay around in the sand. Fuck em.
8:00pm: I get a call from Lee as I'm walking up a little dirt trail to get up to the main trail that takes me back to my place. As I get to the top of the little trail, I see a what looks like a house cat walking my way, but I really can't tell since its getting dark. As it get closer, it doesn't look like a normal cat. And then it comes right up to me and stops and just stares at me. Classic Mexican Standoff. Yes, a little pee came out since I was scared shitless and for once nobody was around to either help or give advice. This thing doesn't have any tags on it and it looks exactly like the picture above. Come to find out it is a Margay, which is native to Central and South America and tends to be extremely popular in the US as an exotic pet. After the cat made me his bitch, it went on its way walking up the trail and I ran like a little school girl home, never to leave my couch again.
Jun 14, 2006
Jun 13, 2006
J J
Well, the news of the day takes the sting out of the 86 I put on the board today. I never thought that I would have to worry about last place in a 115-man tournament...and I don't! I'm in the top 100!
Anyway, I bet we've all heard about J J by now. Here is his mug shot:
I'll let the commenters on Deadspin provide the numerous one-liners:
Those zimas will f you up...
"And with the 4th pick in the 2006 draft, the Portland TrailBlazers select..."
By the way, are they sure he was drunk? It's hard to control the wheel when Dick Vitale is servicing you.
My heart full of woe.
My liver full of schnapps.
Good-bye, upside.
(in reference to J J's poetry - a J J Haiku)
I heard that instead of blowing a .121 or .150 like most drunk drivers do, JJ instead blew 2 to 5 cops.
This is going to kill his WNBA stock.
It absolutely could not have happened to a better person...except for Joe Buck.
Rumor has it he was arrested by Officer Exree Hipp and his partner Walt Williams.
OK - enough for now!
Anyway, I bet we've all heard about J J by now. Here is his mug shot:
I'll let the commenters on Deadspin provide the numerous one-liners:
Those zimas will f you up...
"And with the 4th pick in the 2006 draft, the Portland TrailBlazers select..."
By the way, are they sure he was drunk? It's hard to control the wheel when Dick Vitale is servicing you.
My heart full of woe.
My liver full of schnapps.
Good-bye, upside.
(in reference to J J's poetry - a J J Haiku)
I heard that instead of blowing a .121 or .150 like most drunk drivers do, JJ instead blew 2 to 5 cops.
This is going to kill his WNBA stock.
It absolutely could not have happened to a better person...except for Joe Buck.
Rumor has it he was arrested by Officer Exree Hipp and his partner Walt Williams.
OK - enough for now!
Two new places for me to get fat in....
Chipotle and Wings To Go are just about finished with their new store fronts right next to my office, which has me so giddy. I actually drove by there today just to check out how the construction was progressing. Chipotle has tables and chairs already in there, while Wings To Go seems to be falling behind since it seems as if they are still working on their counter area. Thought you all should know. I haven't been this excited about food since Dunkin Donuts released their sausage egg and cheese croissants.
Oh, and fuck JJ Redick. I'm sure the media will give him a pass and probably blame Terp fans for driving him to drink and drive.
Oh, and fuck JJ Redick. I'm sure the media will give him a pass and probably blame Terp fans for driving him to drink and drive.
Jun 12, 2006
Car Accident Weekend
Before we get to the big story of the day, there is another car accident to talk about.
1) Had my own car accident Saturday morning - went up to play golf with Don and two others, and rear-ended another car on the exit ramp. A 3rd guy was - for whatever reason - making a U-turn from the entrance ramp into our exit ramp lane. He had to cross a 6" median to do this. The guy in the truck in front of me stopped for this idiot; I slammed on the brakes but slid (it was wet) right into the back of the truck.
I was going about 25 mph or so when I hit him; the truck had minor damage (a dent in the back bumper) but my Camry folded like the 2000 TrailBlazers. The left front fell apart; the hood buckled and nothing was left of the lights/signals. No one was hurt.
This was my first two-car accident (I had an incident in my red Celica in 1995 with a "Keep Right" sign; that was FIVE DAYS after I bought the car, my first car with a new job). I have to say, I am very impressed with Allied's service and responsiveness.
2) Most painful part of the weekend (and yes, I am including the accident, so that is saying something): buying new cell phones. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO TAKE FOREVER? We were in there for an hour and a half. I missed most of the Ivory Coast- Argentina game for this!
3) What to say about Big Ben's accident? Well, my first thought was that I hope it was not life-threatening. Once the news reports became clearer and it seems like he will have no problem surviving.....
well, I don't know what to think. I'm trying not to smile, but I can't help it. I don't want Ben to have any long-term deformities (like losing eyesight or anything), but if he's out for a while with these injuries, then so be it. I've had enough from a lot of people making fun of our buddy Kellen Winslow. These accidents , while not comparable, do have some similarities ---- they could have been prevented.
I really want to take the high ground and say something like "I hope Ben fully recovers and makes it back to the field for the opener at full strength".......but it's hard for me to say that. I certainly want him to recover and get back to "normal" functionality. After that.....
Does that make me a bad person? And for those of you who say yes, did you feel a little smile when:
- Winslow went out in 2005 due to his accident?
- "8-ball" Lewis went to jail last off season?
- did you feel any relief, Steeler fans, when Palmer went out with an ACL?
I'd love to have a Wonder Woman truth rope for any Steeler fans who may object to these thoughts. I would love to know their feeling during last year's playoff gme in Cincinnati.
They'd say "We didn't want to win that way"....
But they think "But too bad... hee hee... it just worked out that way".
Again, I want to be clear that I truly hope Ben is not physically maimed for life in this incident.
1) Had my own car accident Saturday morning - went up to play golf with Don and two others, and rear-ended another car on the exit ramp. A 3rd guy was - for whatever reason - making a U-turn from the entrance ramp into our exit ramp lane. He had to cross a 6" median to do this. The guy in the truck in front of me stopped for this idiot; I slammed on the brakes but slid (it was wet) right into the back of the truck.
I was going about 25 mph or so when I hit him; the truck had minor damage (a dent in the back bumper) but my Camry folded like the 2000 TrailBlazers. The left front fell apart; the hood buckled and nothing was left of the lights/signals. No one was hurt.
This was my first two-car accident (I had an incident in my red Celica in 1995 with a "Keep Right" sign; that was FIVE DAYS after I bought the car, my first car with a new job). I have to say, I am very impressed with Allied's service and responsiveness.
2) Most painful part of the weekend (and yes, I am including the accident, so that is saying something): buying new cell phones. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO TAKE FOREVER? We were in there for an hour and a half. I missed most of the Ivory Coast- Argentina game for this!
3) What to say about Big Ben's accident? Well, my first thought was that I hope it was not life-threatening. Once the news reports became clearer and it seems like he will have no problem surviving.....
well, I don't know what to think. I'm trying not to smile, but I can't help it. I don't want Ben to have any long-term deformities (like losing eyesight or anything), but if he's out for a while with these injuries, then so be it. I've had enough from a lot of people making fun of our buddy Kellen Winslow. These accidents , while not comparable, do have some similarities ---- they could have been prevented.
I really want to take the high ground and say something like "I hope Ben fully recovers and makes it back to the field for the opener at full strength".......but it's hard for me to say that. I certainly want him to recover and get back to "normal" functionality. After that.....
Does that make me a bad person? And for those of you who say yes, did you feel a little smile when:
- Winslow went out in 2005 due to his accident?
- "8-ball" Lewis went to jail last off season?
- did you feel any relief, Steeler fans, when Palmer went out with an ACL?
I'd love to have a Wonder Woman truth rope for any Steeler fans who may object to these thoughts. I would love to know their feeling during last year's playoff gme in Cincinnati.
They'd say "We didn't want to win that way"....
But they think "But too bad... hee hee... it just worked out that way".
Again, I want to be clear that I truly hope Ben is not physically maimed for life in this incident.
Jun 10, 2006
Saturday's Comments
- Watching the World Cup and I'm surprised at how many players I know due to the soccer video game that Dude and I used to play. Dude used to kick our asses with Sweden, so names like Larson and Ibrahimovic are household names. I could only compete against Dude with Italy so I'll be cheering for my men Totti, Toni, and De Rossi. I think I only beat Dude once or maybe twice in about 50 tries.
- Back to Sweden, their opening game was ten times more exciting than the England game. Don't know too much about soccer, but England's play was so uninspiring.
- And I'm starting to get tired of watching these guys go down on every single play and acting like they lost a foot. Almost as annoying as watching Tim Duncan complain about getting fouled. Give me a break.
- Last comment on the World Cup. I went onto my normal online gambling site because I wanted to take the Ivory Coast today, but for some reason I couldn't just bet on the game itself. It was either the over/under or a bunch of crazy prop bets. Do people not bet on each game or is it just my site? Does this have anything to do with the Italian gambling scandal? Do I have a problem?
- Going to Disneyland tomorrow, which will be my first trip to either one of the Disney spots. Am I the last person in the US over the age of 30 that hasn't been to either of these places? I'll post some pictures of me on the teacups on Monday.
- Now onto more important things. The A's!!! They are somehow hanging in there despite some major injuries. Its nice to get Bradley and Loiaza back from the DL, but I'm not too sure how far we can go with these key injuries to our pitching staff. Our number 2 in Harden is now official injury prone and the heart of our bullpen in Duchscherer and Kennedy can't get off of the DL. We have some depth in the bullpen, but it would be nice to get these two studs back in there to lock up the 7th and 8th innings. With all of the injuries we are only 2.5 back from TX, so I can't really complain.
- Tropical Depression Warning???? Are you kidding me? People are freaking out over a regular storm off the coast of FL. Great. Here we go with overkill on these storm watches.
- Brent Musberger looks surprisingly good for being 67. I'm being serious here.
- If you have a chance, check out SuperTroopers. I know I'm probably a little late on this one, but what a fantastic movie.
- USA Today is predicting that Game 3 of the NHL finals will have the lowest sports TV rating during prime time of all time. Anyone want to wager on that?
This clip proves that...
a) anything is funny at 5 in the morning
b) Jim Henson was on drugs from 1974-1981, inclusive
c) "Bork! Bork! Bork!" should still be part of the English language.
Comedic Genius from the Muppets
b) Jim Henson was on drugs from 1974-1981, inclusive
c) "Bork! Bork! Bork!" should still be part of the English language.
Comedic Genius from the Muppets
Jun 9, 2006
Spelling Bee vs 1st night of the NBA Finals
So Eric and I were wondering which show on ABC would grab more viewers, the Spelling Bee held last week or the opening night of the NBA finals. Both on the same channel and both on the same day of the week. The Spelling Bee grabbed 8.6 million viewers, which was enough to grab 20th place last week. I do not have the NBA ratings yet, but just to compare quickly, the highest NBA playoff rating was the Heat vs. Pistons last Wednesday on ESPN that pulled in 6.8 million viewers. Will update on Monday with the official result.
NFL Question
To the Ravens fans out there:
Do you believe that the signing of McNair is the signing that will put the Ravens back on top? Will McNair carry the Ravens to...
a) a 3rd place finish (by themselves) in the AFC North?
b) a 2nd place finish in the division?
c) a wildcard?
d) a division title?
e) the AFC Championship?
f) A Super Bowl championship?
Do Ravens fans really believe that McNair is "the missing piece" for the Ravens?
(see....I'm REALLY trying hard to ask this in an unbiased manner....)
Do you believe that the signing of McNair is the signing that will put the Ravens back on top? Will McNair carry the Ravens to...
a) a 3rd place finish (by themselves) in the AFC North?
b) a 2nd place finish in the division?
c) a wildcard?
d) a division title?
e) the AFC Championship?
f) A Super Bowl championship?
Do Ravens fans really believe that McNair is "the missing piece" for the Ravens?
(see....I'm REALLY trying hard to ask this in an unbiased manner....)
World Cup Draft Results & Teams
Here are the picks for the World Cup Pool, which starts in 30 minutes. Again, you get 2 points for every win your team gets, 1 point for a tie (in pool play), and 2 points for every win in the knockout round.
Quick analysis:
Best draft: I like Ted's roster. And RRD, for being absent, did pretty well.
Worst draft: There's just a bit of favoritsm in Roger/Dmitri's roster. England 2nd???
Most likely to have 3 teams advance: Ted and Brad
Most likely to have 0 teams advance: Don (you got the equivalent of Tennessee and Cincinnati with those picks).
FU Poland
Two things on my mind while watching Poland get their ass kicked by Ecuador. How the hell does this happen? Anyway, I'll be sure to give a weekend recap on Monday.
- Been meaning to talk about this for some time, but is it just me or does everyone else love how Tony Soprano eats his ice cream? He has been doing this for years and I have modeled myself after the "sitting the bowl as close to your mouth as possible resting your hands on your stomach, while slouched on the couch." Classic move.
- Ever get pissed because you see licorice on someone's desk and you think that they are twizlers but they are the crappy Vines? I hate Vines.
Jun 7, 2006
URGENT - World Cup Draft entrants wanted
Everyone:
This is an urgent message to see who woul dlike to participate in a World Cup '06 draft. The draft would comprise 8 people, and each person would "draft" a World Cup team in each round that they would own for the pool. The draft lasts 4 rounds - each team would own 4 countries for the cup.
We're still working on the scoring system, but it would be similar to an NCAA-style draft, with 2 points for every win in pool play, 1 point for a tie, and 2 points for each win in the knockout bracket.
We need 8 players to make this work. We will hold the draft on THURSDAT night sometime; Derek will provide details on a conference call for the draft.
PLEASE -as soon as possible - let us know if you are interested in the comment field below. Right now, the participants are...
Eric Z
Derek Z
Roger R / Dmitri R (Eric's old neighbor)
Leland
Brad Blankenship
Reserve your spot now!
This is an urgent message to see who woul dlike to participate in a World Cup '06 draft. The draft would comprise 8 people, and each person would "draft" a World Cup team in each round that they would own for the pool. The draft lasts 4 rounds - each team would own 4 countries for the cup.
We're still working on the scoring system, but it would be similar to an NCAA-style draft, with 2 points for every win in pool play, 1 point for a tie, and 2 points for each win in the knockout bracket.
We need 8 players to make this work. We will hold the draft on THURSDAT night sometime; Derek will provide details on a conference call for the draft.
PLEASE -as soon as possible - let us know if you are interested in the comment field below. Right now, the participants are...
Eric Z
Derek Z
Roger R / Dmitri R (Eric's old neighbor)
Leland
Brad Blankenship
Reserve your spot now!
Jun 6, 2006
WTF???
Can someone from Baltimore please explain what this is all about? Or maybe Curr can add some insight from the Ad Agency World.
Political Update
One of my passionate interests is politics. One part of politics is the policy debate that goes on between the two sides - most of you know that I love to argue the points and tell all those Democrats to stop whining already about 2000.
However, another part of my political interest is the electoral analysis - which rears its head every two years with the congressional elections. Yes, I am a nerd that creates the white board to track the results as they come in every even-year November. For whatever reason, I find the zero-sum game between Democrats and Republicans - and the shifts in strategy (or lack thereof) that each party undergoes in order to win fascinating.
One of the theories out there is that the House (and maybe the Senate) may turn Democratic in the fall. Reasons for this vary - starting from the unpopularity of Bush, the immigration debate, Iraq, and the corruption scandals. Right now, it's just a lot of postulation.
Today, however, we may get a first harbinger of what could happen in the fall. There is a special election in the 50th district in CA today. This election will elect a replacement for Duke Cunningham, a Republican congressman who had to resign due to bribes and other ethical problems.
This district is a solid Republican district; Bush got 61% here in 2004. However, as in any open-seat contest, both parties think they can win. This election pits Brian Bilbray (R) vs. Francine Busby (D). busby got 43% in the all-party primary - the big question is whether she can get the last 7% to carry her over the top.
Polls show a dead heat (Busby by 2, 47-45 in the latest), but this is before a Busby rally in which an illegal immigant asked how to help. Busby responded: "You don't need papers to vote!" I'll let you draw your own conclusions on what that meant. Republicans are pounding on that statement and using it to make sure their core support comes out.
This is a race that the Democrats HAVE to win if they want to get the 15 seats they need to get control in November. Watch the results tonight, if you are interested. My only prediction is that if Busby (D) wins, then the lead story EVERYWHERE (NYT, CNN, maybe even Drudge) tonight, tomorrow and the next few days will be the coming Democratic landslide, but if Bilbray (R) wins, the media will downplay the victory.
However, another part of my political interest is the electoral analysis - which rears its head every two years with the congressional elections. Yes, I am a nerd that creates the white board to track the results as they come in every even-year November. For whatever reason, I find the zero-sum game between Democrats and Republicans - and the shifts in strategy (or lack thereof) that each party undergoes in order to win fascinating.
One of the theories out there is that the House (and maybe the Senate) may turn Democratic in the fall. Reasons for this vary - starting from the unpopularity of Bush, the immigration debate, Iraq, and the corruption scandals. Right now, it's just a lot of postulation.
Today, however, we may get a first harbinger of what could happen in the fall. There is a special election in the 50th district in CA today. This election will elect a replacement for Duke Cunningham, a Republican congressman who had to resign due to bribes and other ethical problems.
This district is a solid Republican district; Bush got 61% here in 2004. However, as in any open-seat contest, both parties think they can win. This election pits Brian Bilbray (R) vs. Francine Busby (D). busby got 43% in the all-party primary - the big question is whether she can get the last 7% to carry her over the top.
Polls show a dead heat (Busby by 2, 47-45 in the latest), but this is before a Busby rally in which an illegal immigant asked how to help. Busby responded: "You don't need papers to vote!" I'll let you draw your own conclusions on what that meant. Republicans are pounding on that statement and using it to make sure their core support comes out.
This is a race that the Democrats HAVE to win if they want to get the 15 seats they need to get control in November. Watch the results tonight, if you are interested. My only prediction is that if Busby (D) wins, then the lead story EVERYWHERE (NYT, CNN, maybe even Drudge) tonight, tomorrow and the next few days will be the coming Democratic landslide, but if Bilbray (R) wins, the media will downplay the victory.
Jun 5, 2006
College vs. Pros
Interesting question on the John Sickell's website last week. I would advise him to go pro, since if he is that good, he won't stay in school anyway. Will be very interested in hearing what Jay, Eric, and the Gooch say since they all have young boys.
Today we will shift gears a bit. What if your son was a hitter? Here is your theoretical son:
Your son is 6-3, 185 pounds, righthanded hitter and thrower. He plays shortstop in high school, has a strong arm and good range, but his hands aren't the best and a lot of scouts think he will move to the outfield as a pro. He has slightly above average speed, above average power, good strike zone judgment, of course. He is from a cold-weather state, say Wisconsin, and while he's played in some showcase events and done well, he hasn't been on the national team or anything like that. He is intelligent and emotionally mature, and would do well in college.
You have scholarship offers from the following schools: Nebraska, Creighton, Minnesota, Kansas, Wichita State, and Oklahoma State. He is NOT assured of a freshman starting spot for the Cornhuskers, Shockers, or Cowboys, but the Gophers, Jayhawks, and Creighton Blue Jays are all willing to give him a full shot for a starting lineup spot as a freshman. Scouts say he could go in the third or fourth round if he is willing to go into pro ball out of high school.
So, what do you advise your son? Is the situation different because he is a hitter instead of a pitcher?
Today we will shift gears a bit. What if your son was a hitter? Here is your theoretical son:
Your son is 6-3, 185 pounds, righthanded hitter and thrower. He plays shortstop in high school, has a strong arm and good range, but his hands aren't the best and a lot of scouts think he will move to the outfield as a pro. He has slightly above average speed, above average power, good strike zone judgment, of course. He is from a cold-weather state, say Wisconsin, and while he's played in some showcase events and done well, he hasn't been on the national team or anything like that. He is intelligent and emotionally mature, and would do well in college.
You have scholarship offers from the following schools: Nebraska, Creighton, Minnesota, Kansas, Wichita State, and Oklahoma State. He is NOT assured of a freshman starting spot for the Cornhuskers, Shockers, or Cowboys, but the Gophers, Jayhawks, and Creighton Blue Jays are all willing to give him a full shot for a starting lineup spot as a freshman. Scouts say he could go in the third or fourth round if he is willing to go into pro ball out of high school.
So, what do you advise your son? Is the situation different because he is a hitter instead of a pitcher?
Golf update
Golf notes:
1) My game is slowly coming around, although I'm not nearly where I need to be. Played a couple of times at Kaiwah on vacation and last week in Iowa and thought I had some things with the driver straightened out - I hit an average of about 8-9 fairways per round; then I played Saturday and was down to 3 fairways. Shot 77 on saturday on an easy course. Got to go to the range and work on the driver. The good news is that the irons are much better and close to where I want them. If we work on the putting and the driving we will be fine.
2) Tournament schedule: I did not play in the state qualifier because of vacation, travel and my game sucking. So, the next tournament is next week!
June 12-14: State mid-Am
June 19: US Publinx Qualifier (36 holes; Derek the mule will be caddieing)
June 26-30: City championship
3) We went on vacation to Kiawah Island; I had a chance to play the Ocean Course. I'm speechless. What an experience. 18 holes situated between the ocean and a vast marshland. On the front nine, you can't see any sign of civilization except for the rest of the couse. Sand dunes and/or marsh on either side. The holes - each one - was memorable.
I played the blue tees (around 6700 yds); there was a gold tee box laid out (around 7250) that I would have played if my game was better. On several holes there was an additional tee box hidden even behind the golds; the course can stretch to 7600 whenthe PGA Championship comes to Kiawah in 2011.
I shot an 86 with two 9s on the front; on the back,I shot 40 with a double on the last. On #17, a long par 3 over water (some readers here may remember this hole from the 91 Ryder Cup), the blue tee was at about the 200 yd mark; it was all carry over water (and water right) to a narrow green with a huge bunker on the left. Oh, and did I mention the 15 mph wind in our face? So I took a 3wood - and with my draw I started it 5 yds right of the green at the lake. Wow. It did hit the green on the fly but one-bounced into the popular left bunker. At least I got it over the water, unlike Mark Calcavecchia.
4) Today is US Open Sectional Qualifying for most folks - as there are 13 sites around the US that will send several golfers to the US Open in two weeks. Michelle Wie is one who is playing today - she got past local qualifying and could advance to the US Oen with two good rounds today. She has finished her first 18 at -2; another round of 2 under would be pretty close to qualifying.
We will also see who gets the Eric Zahn award for today; this award is for the golfer who is good enough to get out of local qualifying but has the highest score in sectional qualifying. It is named after my performance in 2003, where I shot a 69 to get out of local qualifying, but was completely overmatched by the course and conditions and shot a cool 162 at Sectionals, missing a qualifying spot by just 23 strokes.
5) Don is on fire; he is an alternate for the state championship in July, and he now owns an (unofficial) course record after Satruday's round. The local muni had to redesign the back nine due to some.......um.......CEO largesse (long story); so Saturday was the grand opening of the new course. We were the 5th group off; I'm sure Don's even-par 70 was the low round at that time.
1) My game is slowly coming around, although I'm not nearly where I need to be. Played a couple of times at Kaiwah on vacation and last week in Iowa and thought I had some things with the driver straightened out - I hit an average of about 8-9 fairways per round; then I played Saturday and was down to 3 fairways. Shot 77 on saturday on an easy course. Got to go to the range and work on the driver. The good news is that the irons are much better and close to where I want them. If we work on the putting and the driving we will be fine.
2) Tournament schedule: I did not play in the state qualifier because of vacation, travel and my game sucking. So, the next tournament is next week!
June 12-14: State mid-Am
June 19: US Publinx Qualifier (36 holes; Derek the mule will be caddieing)
June 26-30: City championship
3) We went on vacation to Kiawah Island; I had a chance to play the Ocean Course. I'm speechless. What an experience. 18 holes situated between the ocean and a vast marshland. On the front nine, you can't see any sign of civilization except for the rest of the couse. Sand dunes and/or marsh on either side. The holes - each one - was memorable.
I played the blue tees (around 6700 yds); there was a gold tee box laid out (around 7250) that I would have played if my game was better. On several holes there was an additional tee box hidden even behind the golds; the course can stretch to 7600 whenthe PGA Championship comes to Kiawah in 2011.
I shot an 86 with two 9s on the front; on the back,I shot 40 with a double on the last. On #17, a long par 3 over water (some readers here may remember this hole from the 91 Ryder Cup), the blue tee was at about the 200 yd mark; it was all carry over water (and water right) to a narrow green with a huge bunker on the left. Oh, and did I mention the 15 mph wind in our face? So I took a 3wood - and with my draw I started it 5 yds right of the green at the lake. Wow. It did hit the green on the fly but one-bounced into the popular left bunker. At least I got it over the water, unlike Mark Calcavecchia.
4) Today is US Open Sectional Qualifying for most folks - as there are 13 sites around the US that will send several golfers to the US Open in two weeks. Michelle Wie is one who is playing today - she got past local qualifying and could advance to the US Oen with two good rounds today. She has finished her first 18 at -2; another round of 2 under would be pretty close to qualifying.
We will also see who gets the Eric Zahn award for today; this award is for the golfer who is good enough to get out of local qualifying but has the highest score in sectional qualifying. It is named after my performance in 2003, where I shot a 69 to get out of local qualifying, but was completely overmatched by the course and conditions and shot a cool 162 at Sectionals, missing a qualifying spot by just 23 strokes.
5) Don is on fire; he is an alternate for the state championship in July, and he now owns an (unofficial) course record after Satruday's round. The local muni had to redesign the back nine due to some.......um.......CEO largesse (long story); so Saturday was the grand opening of the new course. We were the 5th group off; I'm sure Don's even-par 70 was the low round at that time.
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