Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all of you out there. I did my religious deed for the year today. Our good friends here in the ex-pat complex are Americans that are Jewish and are celebrating Passover. The oldest son stayed overnight last night with Freddie, and they were up this morning at 7:30 to watch the Ohio St- Wichita St game.

That's when we had the Easter baskets all out for the boys; I decided that my outreach would be to take some of the extra candy, put it in a basket, and send it home with Freddie's friend. Hey - who can say no to Jesus when there is a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg involved? Boy, that better be an entree in Heaven......

2012 Vegas Diary, part 3

Saturday, March 16

Saturday was the day that was set up to be a pure gambling day. There were no excurisions, no golfing - just an appointment to be on the floor for the day. A nice break from the logistics of the comings/goings of the past 3 days.

I finally got out of bed around 11 and headed to the floor - there was a debate, I guess, on whether to wake me up for a parlay pick; the consensus was "to let him get some sleep". I appreciated that gesture, even though it wasn't nearly enough to get me back on track.

One of the first things we saw that morning/early afternoon was the great white whale of gambling.....an open $5 craps table on a weekend! I've never seen that before - not even at the Monte! Well, we couldn't say no to that!  My rolling sucked, again, and we got sand kicked in our face - again. $5 craps is a trap. A pit. A pure money vaccum.

We all ended up at a Pai Gow table for most of the afternoon - all 6 of us filling the table, as we watched Maryland come up short vs. Carolina and one of us running to the book to place bets as games were tipping off/went to half. After that long session, we went back to the craps table, where we did a little 3 vs 3 formation to try to change our luck - 3 on one end, 3 on the other. The formation change did not work until an African American - and his posse - came to the table; I think his name was "C.C.". This C.C. character rolled for about 20 minutes and saved most of the crew from horrendous losses; that roll helped me to at least get to a manageable loss. One of the guys in his posse was straight from Kid N Play from 1991 - with the high flat top hair cut.

The group split up a bit after that; Leland had a friend in town and at this point, he disappeared to the pool at the Mirage and then to a club at the Cosmo. Wiz mentioned that he - nor any of us - should not expect to see him the rest of the night. Ok, then...everyone has his priorites.....

....and one of mine at the moment was trying to play UTH while wathcing the Southland conference championship. The 5 of us sat down at the UTH table just as the Moutain West game ended on CBS; the TV was showing local news. Well, this can't stand. We asked the pit boss to come over - I asked him to change it to ESPN2.

He immediately said, "No, the Louisville-Syracuse game is on ESPN".

I didn't miss a beat. "No, I want to watch Stephen F. Austin."

He looked at me for 2 seconds, signed, and rolled his eyes. It was a proud moment in my life as a degenerate. My degeneration level went up a few more notches as we were playing when Leland texted me multiple times to "get on out here immediately".  I didn't know where he was immediately - then I found out he was at Bare. I declined to go out, as I was comfortable playing UTH, drinking Tom Collins's and watching Northwestern St-SFA. Again, each has their priorities.

After a good UTH run - and Wiz making money by banking Layup's trips bet - it was time for dinner.....or so we thought. Don, Mike and I were hungry; Layup and Wiz wanted to eat somewhere else. They took off on their field trip as Don and Mike treated for dinner at Stack.

It was a Saturday evening at the Mirage - so I decided to change into something a bit more formal for the evening; I took off my Adidas tangerine sport shirt and changed into my Adidas tangering golf shirt. Hey, I have class - the night called for a collar.

The five of us met again at the same UTH table for  part 2. We were about 45 minutes into the session when Layup - on the other side of the table - tried to ask me a question. He asked me 5 times before I finally understood.

"Is that Herman Cain over there?"

I look behind us - and at the other UTH table, separated by the pit, is a African American guy, balding, late 50s, sweater vest and Oxford shirt....and yes, is a dead ringer for Herman Cain. We all start asking ourselves the question and start to stare at him.

We asked the dealer - who was no help, as she couldn't turn around - so we asked the pit boss. She was a dead ringer for Edie McClurg (and now I have the Small Wonder theme song in my head. Thanks. -ed. ) , and in her Minnesota accent, she said she would make a few phone calls.

After a while, she confirmed it - it was Herman Cain, live and in person. She said the dealer asked for a card - but he refused to provide a players' card or sign up for one. But "her best friend" up in security confirmed it was him.........

(Note - I found this link when poking around on Herman Cain; I now am 99.999% sure it was him.)

It was getting late in the evening, so it was time for one last session in the salon. Mike went up to bed - I said goodbye to him as I headed over. Wiz and Layup were at a table, but for once, they were not alone - there was another guy at the table on third base.

I jumped in, starting with the second shoe; Wiz and Layup were losing steadily as I was valiantly trying to hold my own- but to no avail, as my pile dwindled away. The shoe mercifully ended, and it was time for a new one. Wiz cut ( I think) and off we went.

The first 4-5 hands were very good, as we all won, or at least won all but one. At that moment, the third baseman spoke up.....no, no, please don't say it. Please don't.

"Well, this shoe's looking great! It's much better than the last two!"

Oh dear. In an instance, Wiz raised his hands and dropped the F bomb. "What the fuck are you doing??" he shouted, not looking at him. "Why did you say that??"

I think you all know what happened next. I managed to survive - I broke even on the shoe.......but Wiz and Layup got destroyed. That was their last shoe; they picked up and left.  I wasn't in the mood to leave just yet - it was about 12 midnight and I was still fresh! - so I stayed with the third baseman. We played another shoe - again, it was choppy.

I was debating whether to leave or not when I got a tap on the shoulder. Don! Don, what are you doing here?

"I was thinking about trying my luck here...."

Sure, join the fun! The three of us played one shoe - it was an ok shoe; I made a bit and so did Don, making the decision easy on whether to play another shoe. The third baseman picked up and went to another table. The cut card came to Don; he decisively cut it.

Well, it was a historic cut. The table turned, for the positive. We were winning 2, 3 hands in a row; a loss and then another 3 winners. It was hot.....

I had 1 1/2 units in play when I got dealt 7-7 vs a 2. OK, a split. Next card  - a 3, for 10. Gulp. OK, double...card dealt face down. On the second 7....a 7.......another gulp as we split again......a 10 was dealt on the 2nd 7, and then a final 4.....Oh dear, let's double again.

So I have 7-4-X, 7-10, 7-3-X.  Dealer - well, I think he had a 10, and then pulled another 10.  Oh my!

At the end of that shoe, I was a bit delirious and pleasantly stunned when Don turns to me: "Well, the table is not getting any hotter, so I think I'll color up".

Oh yes, that would be the prudent play, correct? Good idea. I colored up and received one chip back in a new color. That's a first! Honestly, I probably would have played one more shoe if Don did not mention anything. I think I owe him at least a greens' fee this summer for the suggestion.

He was done, and headed upstrairs; I was far from it. Now alone on the floor, I was determined to conquer craps. I went to an empty $15 table and started shooting. I was there a while meeting all sorts of characters - a group of guys at the other end of the table who kept calling me "tangerine"; a 22 year old girl from Minnesota who was celebrating her birthday - I put $15 on the pass line for her and ordered her to shoot; she made 2 points and walked away with $60 profit. The majority of the session was spent with a drunk Navy guy from New Jersey as we slowly lost our bankroll.

About midway through the session a voice whispered in my ear.....

"A 5 is coming here...bet the 5 hopping". Out of nowhere, it's Leland! Where have you been?

"At the Cosmo....I'm so wasted". He stayed for another 10 minutes, calling rolls about 20 seconds after the roll finished....

Craps burned me again, so I went back to a blackjack table where I sat down alone at a table; it was going poorly when 3 young 2-somethings joined me; only one was playing; the guy playing was taking orders from his girlfriend (who knew how to play).

I cut the shoe; as a result, I lost about $100 but the group doubled their money. They insisted I cut again; again, I lost money but they won at least $300-400 more.

I was ready to go, but there was no way they would let me leave. Cut again! You're doing great!
What's the proper etiquette here? I was ready to sleep, but I was the ATM for them! Do I have to take one for the team?

I finally got back to even on the last shoe as they made another $300 or so...and I called it a night.

Sunday, March 17

Woke up around 9:30 or so, and the horrible task of packing began. It took me an hour to shower and pack - due to all of the target bags strewn around the room. Finally done, I headed downstairs for breakfast where Wiz talked me into one last Salon run.

Nothing notable was happening - I was bobbing up and down - until Wiz had to leave; it coincidentally was the end of the shoe and Wiz decided to color up.

The dealers challenged him - "cmon....let it ride for one hand....."

Now, if this was in the middle of a shoe, there's no way Wiz would have done it. But, as luck would have it, there was the "TV timeout" as the dealer shuffled, and as the shuffle went out, Wiz started to shift.......

"OK, I'll do it!"

I quickly texted Layup to get in the salon immediately. I did not want to screw up anything, so I asked Wiz if I should play this first hand . "Yes, you're with me here....." ok.

The cards came out; I got dealt 11, Wiz 18 - the dealer had a 4. I asked permission to double. "Hell yes!". The dealer turned over a 2, then a 10, then a 7. Winner.

On that note, the gambling ended for the trip. Layup and I drove to LA, listening to an incoherent John Thompson analyze the brackets on the radio. We had a great dinner in the airport.

I took two sleeping pills before the 15 hour flight home. I was so tired once I got in my seat; I managed to stay awake for dinner, and that was it. I swear I was hallucinating right after dinner, seeing the lights in the plane float around the cabin.

I slept 7 hours straight, gotup to go to the bathroom, then slept another 5 hours - then it was breakfast. 12 hours of sleep in a coach seat on China Southern. That, in itself, is something to blog about.


 

2013 Vegas Diary - Part 2

Thursday, March 14

The last time I checked the clock, it was 2:00, and I drift off…..

I wake up….seems dark outside….. it’s 2:30. Crap.

2:30 turns into 3:00, which turns into 3:30. No dice. I am wide awake. I surf the net and get aggravated with the horrid wireless connection, and at 4:00 sharp I send out the golf side pool update. I actually do some work before I give in around 5 and head back to bed.
 

At 8, the alarm goes up, and a rush of adrenalin goes through me- it’s Southern Highlands day! This has become a mainstay tradition for the trip – a golf round that I think about at least 10 weeks in advance.
 

I actually played well on this round, even though the score did not show it; I limited my losses to Wiz (and was finally man enough to swallow my pride and take strokes from Wiz). And – finally – I played the 18^th without picking up in the middle of the hole.
 

I broke out my Rickie Fowler gear to the group; I’m starting to love the Puma shirts that he wears – which should come as no surprise to this group. The problem is, I was unsure of what shorts go with the paint splatter on the shirt; I chose a dark tan, conservative color and got roundly booed. Yes, I could have worn white shorts – or maybe I just go the whole hog and buy white pants. Maybe next year.

 

(Layup insisted that I wear khakis to match the shirt; he has a point. I pulled out some khaki cargo pants to wear later on in the week for a day lounging in the casino; he pointed to them and said: “See? You should have worn those golfing with that ugly shirt!”

Cargo shorts at Southern Highlands. I will stop listening to Layup for fashion advice now.
 

Anyway, the gambling day started off good with the sports bets while I was on the course. In the 1^nd round of the A-10, I had Charlotte +4.5 vs. Richmond. The score was stuck on 63-60, Richmond, with 0:10 left on the clock…..and our phones did not update for a good 10 minutes. What the hell was going on?

Then we get the cryptic, crazy play-by-play updates from the phone:

0:06: Charlotte FT good

0:06: Charlotte FT good

0:06: Charlotte FT good

0:06: Charlotte FT good

0:06: Charlotte FT good

Next thing I know, Charlotte is up 2. They end up winning – somehow – by 5, in a game that was talked about all night on ESPN. Here’s the game recap.

It was a good morning in the book; we came back to the casino where I rested a bit; Layup and Wiz went to a massage, Leland went God knows where, and Don/Mike napped. I spent most of the late afternoon in the book, seeing the results come in (and they were favorable today!) as well as finding games to wager on, including 2^nd half wagers. Everything seemed so clear that day….why is Tulsa an underdog at home? Why is New Mexico St only a 5 point favorite? Western Mich is only up 2 at half over Eastern – and the 2^nd half line was only 3? I’ll jump on the Broncos….

And most – not all – started hitting. I did miss on some very easy money on the Clemson/Florida St game; I did have Fla St on the game; Clemson led by 5 at half and the 2^nd half line was Fla St -4 ( I think). That was a gimme. That was the Mirage saying “come to the book and pick up your free money”. Wiz got in on it, I missed it, and Florida St ended up winning by 5.

Finally met up with the group at the UTH table; 4 of us were hungry and the other two (I’ll let you guess) went to the Salon. We went to Japonais where I got up at least two (probably three or four) times to head to the book for late action; scores were coming in and they were very profitable; I didn’t want to waste this hot streak, so I plowed the profits into later investments. Washington/Oregon over. Hawaii 2^nd half. UT-Arlington. All came through. My entry for our group parlays were winners, but the best we did on the 2 that day were 4-2.

In short, I was up 16 units in the book, which was a record day for me. It was one of those days where everything you saw made sense; you didn’t waste bets on random games (like I tend to do), and things were clear – very much like a golfer in the zone.

The night was spent at craps – again – where Leland had the field rolls going and then a long UTH session; it was good to sit down after running about 2 miles in the casino that day back and forth from the book. I headed upstairs at 2 as another golf round awaited in the morning.

Friday, March 15

More jet lag and trouble sleeping; I finally fell asleep at 3 and woke up around 7:30. And I hurt. The lack of sleep over the past 2-3 days started to really catch up, as any adrenalin from the trip is now gone.　I was physically sore and mentally grumpy; but the show must go on.

The first order of business was to place the day’s parlays for the group. In the next hour, we got picks from 5 of the 6 in the group; I was waiting on Wiz. I’m standing in the sportsbook waiting to place the bet whenever Wiz’s text comes in.

I call him – no answer. Text – no answer.

Leland tries – no answer.

Now, apparently, Wiz may have been working, but there was plenty of advanced notice for this pick. Finally, after about 10 minutes of waiting – Wiz’s pick comes in; it’s the same as someone else.

We go through another round of calls – no answer; emails – no answer; texts – no response. Another 10 minutes goes by as I am waiting in the book.

Wiz finally responds to texts, picks another game that’s already taken, and then his third choice is acceptable. So that’s 25 minutes or so of valuable time in the morning wasted waiting for Wiz’s pick.

Needless to say, I’m not in the greatest mood as I head to the valet station to get in the car. As soon as I see him, I start loudly complaining at him as he lights into me. We verbally go at it, artificially creating a scene in front of the Mirage for a good 2 minutes – half in jest, but half giving him crap for his stunts.

We get to the course – Spanish Trail – and check in at the clubhouse. We were there as guests of a Shufflemaster executive, register at the pro shop and expect to pay the greens fees.

“Yes, guys, you will be teeing off in 30 minutes. The rate is $59”.

There’s dead silence for all of us for a good 15 seconds.

“Did you want me to double that rate for you?”

We were all stunned at the low cost for the round. Yesterday’s round at Southern Highlands was $400 – and everyone agrees it was worth every penny. Now here we are at a private club paying one-sixth that.

The golf was horrible; I was in no shape to stabilize my body on the lack of sleep; the whole round was spent sliding all over the place during the swing. I did birdie 18 after hitting driver off the deck on the tee box – it was the only way I knew where the ball was going.

The drama, however, was with the parlay. My pick was Tennessee -1.5 vs Alabama. I have faith in Cuonzo Martin! The picture of the entire ticket is at right.
 

(and, just for history’s sake, here’s a link to the scoreboard that day….)

On the 5^th green, the finals from the Indiana (Don) and St Louis (Layup) game came in about at the same time; we were 2-0. By the 8^th hole, NC State (Wiz) was well on top and cruising; Wisconsin (Leland) was hanging tough with Michigan. On the 10^th tee, my game was tipping off; Mike’s game – Southern Miss – would not start until about the 14^th hole.

On the 11^th hole – the NC State game went final. 3-0.

On the 14^th – The Wisconsin game went final – that’s 4-0.

My game was at halftime, with Tennessee losing; the last 4 holes with most of us watching the phones. Wiz started texting me “Roll Tide” messages and yelling it from the group behind. On the 16^th hole, Tennessee made a run to close it within 4…..

….and never got closer. 4-1. At that time, Southern Miss got out to a 15 point lead.

We had lunch at the club house (where we declined – declined! – a free round of drinks from John Esposito, only one of the 10 most famous gamblers in Vegas) watching the rest of the Southern Miss game – and my fate was sealed. I was paying for dinner that night. Everyone in the group wished we would have split the $4800 – except Wiz, of course.

Now I was pissed. An evening massage helped; and Lavo was the dinner that night – so at least I knew I would get a good meal out of it. The staple courses at Lavo: the giant Kobe bef meatball; Chicken Parmiagian, and (of course) the deep fried Oreos.

Well, after that, there was no way we were going to be able to sit down – so off to the craps tables where we could feel like exercising (standing) while playing. That’s when we encountered THE WORST craps dealers in the world. Dealers that kept asking “who’s bets are these?”. Dealers who did not pay the come bet off (just the odds) when the come bet hit. Absolutely annoying. And the table was moderately hot, too! That’s a horrid tug of war that goes on in your mind.

After picking up, it was time for the first foray into the Salon. It was about 10, 11 pm on a Friday night. Wiz, Layup and I head in there , we find an open table and start playing. It immediately goes south for me, as this 6’2” dealer from Bulgaria – Svetlana – starts dominating me. It wasn’t utter destruction, but it was a steady, unmistakable losing streak.

About halfway through the session, we see a group of African-Americans come in. There was one….three…..7…..12……at least 20 of them. They all gather around a table on the other side – and it seems that there are 3-4 people actually betting; the rest are crowding around the table watching and hovering. The group was at least 2 rows deep standing around the table.

Light bulbs started to go off in our heads as we tried to figure out what was going on. That weekend, the Mirage hosted a birthday party for Rob Kardashian – and there was the mom, Kris, sitting at the table. It looked to us like they were betting $25 chips….which is less than the minimum in the salon.

That’s when things started to get chaotic. People from the Kardashian started roaming the Salon. Checking in at each table, heading from one table to another by cutting through the pit, etc. There was one member of the gang who was a guy, but – I swear – looked like a 15-year old girl with a slight moustache. He had a 5’11” leggy model in a low cut dress in tow.

What the hell is going on here? Wiz yelled more than once.

The Kardashian clan stayed there for about 15 minutes – no more – and I assume they went back to the clubs for the party. But the damage was done to our group. We were all off kilter.

I was near the end of my stake – three chips left – and on tilt; I decided to go all in. I got dealt 20, but the dealer had an ace. I have a policy to take insurance if I have a 20; the idea is that the worst I can do is break even on a good hand. But my whole stake was already in play.

“You don’t have enough for insurance!” Wiz laughed out loud. That made me more determined. Looking back, I did have the funds in my wallet if I wanted to – but I was stubbornm or forgot about it.

You can guess the ending – the dealer pulled the face card. Wiz laughed some more as I stormed away from the table. I did hear him say something like “I’m not laughing at you”, but after the Alabama shenanigans, he lost any benefit of the doubt.

Ended up at the craps table again, where I watched a obscenely drunk man roll dice all over the place; one of every 2 rolls had to be called back since it was short, in the chips, or off the table. Had a miserable UTH session, and found myself ending the day at Pai Gow with Leland and John with a cast of characters; one of them was a 40-something teacher from Minnesota who was drunk but was flirting with John; another was an angry 20-something Asian-American girl from Seattle who asked me where I was from.

I said, well, I live in China right now.

“Well, I think you live in the land of bull shit!”

Um, nice to meet you too, bitch. It was time for bed after a rough day.

2013 Vegas Diary - Part 1

Well, here we are again – time for the 2013 Vegas Diary. I may have waited too long before putting the diary on paper, as I have already forgotten a lot of the sessions during the week.

Two general thoughts before we get going:

I think we are all in agreement that moving the trip to conference championship week (vs. the first week of the tournament) is a great move. The crowds were definitely less, which means less time waiting for dinner; more space at the gaming tables, little (or zero) lines at the sports book and a generally more relaxed atmosphere. As we get older, we don’t need the chaos, and the trip seemed a little more laid back and relaxing. The downside? This is the weekend of Rob Kardashian’s birthday (more on that in a minute), so we will have to plan around that accordingly.

It never ceases to amaze me that each trip can provide a distinct set of memories. My unverbalized fear before the trip was: are we getting into rut? Will it be the same stories, same inside jokes that may get old soon? And the answer is no. Every year something different comes to keep us on our toes. For instance, this trip was the worst in terms of craps stories/memories/performance, but experiences elsewhere more than made up for that.

 

Now on to the diary:

 

Tuesday, March 12

Allow me a bit to describe the travel problems I had in getting to Vegas in the first place. When I made the reservations, I allowed for a 2 hour layover in LA to go through customs, get baggage, and go from the Tom Bradley terminal to the Delta terminal. The China Southern flight was supposed to land at 7 pm and my Delta connection to Vegas left at 9….should not be a problem if nothing goes wrong, but….

 

First, Delta sends a note 2 weeks before informing me that my flight has changed; the connection to Vegas now will leave at 8:45. So there goes 15 minutes off the buffer.

  

The China Southern flight shut the doors in Guangzhou on time, but we spent an good while taxiing. Once we got in the air, they made the announcement; we plan to land at LA at 8 pm. Um, really? I talked to the flight attendant; he said “no, no, it’s 7 pm, I guess there is a time change and that’s why they said 8 pm”. I didn’t believe him. That’s the China experience – make up an answer and hope the customer will accept it and go away.

 

Oh – it was nice to relax on the flight and not have to frantically cram through 130 pages of 6-point font on 68 basketball teams. Another plus for championship weekend.

 

Well, they started serving “breakfast” at 6:30 pm LA time – that’s when I knew I was in trouble. We landed at 8, got off the plane at 8:15, flew through immigration, waited too long at baggage claim for my clubs – and exited customs at 8:45. I went to the baggage transfer to drop off luggage; they said “Sorry, go see Delta”. Uh oh.

 

So I lugged the suitcase and clubs to the Delta terminal – 400 yards away. They said the plane left, and they can’t do anything for me since it is a China Southern ticket. I had to go back to the International terminal and have China Southern work it. Oh yeah, that will work.

I back track the 400 yards to Tom Bradley where I was met by 749 people at the China Southern counters, since it is check in time for the return flight to Guangzhou. Someone was there to help me; they took my passport and ticket…..and disappeared for 30 minutes.

 

Now I’m stuck. I have Wiz yelling at me to get on a Southwest flight at 10;30; I can’t get through to National to see if I can rent a car to Vegas…I’m sitting there as time ticks off the clock.

 

Finally at 9:30, the China lady says “let’s walk over to United; there is a 10:30 flight and there is one seat, but no one is answering the phone over there.” I think it was during that walk where a wheel fell off my suitcase. Finally, I was able to get a seat on that flight and landed in the new, completely deserted terminal 3 at midnight, arriving at the Mirage around 12:30.

 

I’m not sure what happened when Layup and Wiz was checking in; but there were some major screwups with the reservation. Thank God it was a Tuesday night. Layup said we are on floor “E”. E? I opened the door to a two bedroom suite. Wow. The suite may be an option for the family in the summer. I was greeted by Wiz in his boxers in the room; he was done for the night but mine was just starting.

 

I meet again Layup on the floor and the initial game for the trip is craps. Unfortunately, this was the best craps session of the trip for me as Layup again hits back-to-back hard 4’s when I parlayed – two years in a row now. At around 2:00, Layup decided he had enough and went to bed.

 

I laid in bed…2:00, 2:30, 3:00…..and was wide awake. That’s not going to work. Downstairs I go to play UTH….alone…with no one else at the table. Vegas probably isn’t much quieter (and lonely) than a Tuesday night at 3 in the morning. At 5, I had enough; I was starving for Triscuits and bought a box for $10 and went to bed.

 

Wednesday, March 13.

“Eric!” “Eric??” “Eric! Do you want SMU or not????”

I awoke to Layup literally screaming at me to get my parlay pick in. It was 8:30, and he wanted to confirm my pick for our group parlay; the group would send in a parlay once or twice a day for $20 each; each of us would pick a game. If we get all 6 right, that’s a $4800 payday; if we go 5-1, the loser pays for dinner; if we go 1-5, the single winner would get a free dinner. SMU was my pick for the morning; the Vegas trip is officially underway when Layup has to wake me up to get this pick in.

The day was spent with Wiz, Layup and I on a road trip; first to Target for the annual Supermarket Spree. I think I heard Wiz ask Layup: “How long will this take? About 30 minutes?” Layup just shook his head; they went and got coffee and stale popcorn while I went up and down the aisles for plain white T-shirts, Leap Frog Pens and Combos.

(By the way, is Combos out of business? I can’t find any on the West Coast).

Then we headed to Red Rock for the long-awaited bowling challenge. There were 58 lanes at Red Rock; about 20 were in use so we were able to have some space to act like fools during the competition. The vodka tonic for each game helped to get the energy level up as well.

Layup was a complete sandbagger; Wiz and I gave him 20 pins and he starts by rolling a 193. Wiz and I played straight up, and at $1 pin I profited in the triple digits. Excellent – a 647 for 4 games.

After that, of course we stayed for a $5 craps session there, where none of us could roll; it’s amazing how much money one can lose at a $5 craps table when it goes cold.

We got back to the Mirage around 4:30 to see the rest of the group – Don, Mike and Leland, who all had arrived. The first truly group game was Pai Gow, where we were all relaxing before our appointment at dinner that night with Jose Andres. More on that later.

I was feeling very good – from all the drinks during the day – and having fun until there was a slight problem at the table. I think I had 2 small pairs and an Ace up top; I was half paying attention when the dealer showed a pair of queens and a king-high up top. I started paying more attention when she didn’t ask for commission.

I was a bit confused when I told her that I think I won that hand.

“No, it was a push”

No, I had 2 small pairs down below, I think.

“Do you want me to check and pull the cards out?”

At this point, I had to guess how confident I was in my hand . I put it at 90%, even though most hands I can’t remember what I had on top. Yes, go ahead and reconstruct the hands.

“Floor!”

 

The pit boss came over as the dealer pulled piles of 7 from the stack. One at a time, she – and all of us – tried to identify the hands. It was like CSI: Pai Gow as the dealer placed the seven cards on the table, re-played each hand as we tried to identify the owner.

“That was mine”, Don said…the second hand was claimed by Derek. Then the dealers’ was found.

My hand ended up being 6^th in the pile, and by that time I was shaking. I had better be right on this – it’s not the money I was worried about, it was the embarrassment and my memory. Should I have stopped the game for 3 minutes just for $25?

“Pair of 6s, Pair of 3s…..yes, you were right…..you won the hand”.

I slumped in my chair and let out a deep breath. I haven’t been that nervous in a casino in a long time.

Dinner that night was the Chef’s table at the Cosmopolitan. Just walking through that casino made me feel 10 years younger. Wow. I can be cool! I can be hip! (and I wasn’t even wearing a mock turtleneck!). Seriously – what a nice place.

The dinner was a special 24 course meal prepared by the chefs in front of you . It started bad with some sort of drinking talent show where it was clear that all the other members of the group are adept at handling cylindrical objects that spurt liquid into their mouths. I’m not sure where all of you got the experience for that.

The courses were one, two or three bite portions of incredibly fancy, over-the-top dishes. Some were exquisite, like the fried fish sandwich or the chicken oysters. Some were discomforting, such as any dish with truffles. But the meal was unforgettable – and it is still shocking that we were out of there in less than 3 hours.

We headed back to the Mirage for a group craps run; the table was choppy (and it was clear that Layup and I were the Mantle/Maris of cold rollers; we could not be stopped rolling “7”s. Mike shows an uncanny ability to roll a) “9”s on the come out roll, and b) Field rolls. Leland and I kept track; at one point, he rolled 10 fields in a row and a total of 15 out of 16 field rolls. (But did you make the point during that run? I don’t think so).

At about 1, 1:30 the party broke up as we had an early tee time tomorrow…..maybe I can get some sleep…..

Snow Sculptures and the Ice City

The main draw of Harbin is the snow and ice monuments they build every year, mainly to draw tourists. There's no religious/cultural significance to any of this.

In the afternoon, we went to a large outdoor park where snow sculputes were built. These were pretty impressive. At least 40 feet high, and 60-70 yards long, in this case below. This sculpture tells a story about a grand battle with the gods....

At night, we went to the main attraction, the Ice City. Even though it was about 0 to -5 F temperature, we bundled up enough so that all of us walked around for about 75 minutes. The main draw were the lit-up, colorful buildings, all built out of ice. Two examples are here below - just beautiful. There were ice slides, games, and activities to keep everybody moving throughout the night.

 Some pictures of the ice sculptures in the darkness: (this was about 5 pm when we took these pictures. Gotta love being so far north.)

Harbin Tigers

I'm finally getting around to posting on our Harbin trip in late January - this is the northernmost 'big" city in China; they have an Ice festival every winter that is world famous. Great, right? Except for the temperatures - the high each day was about 0-5, and it was -15 in the morning. We were very lucky; there was very little wind.

Our first stop was the Siberian tiger park. This is well known in the ex-pat circles, especially with families with boys! They feed the tigers live animals - like chickens - to the the delight of the paying consumer.

Here's how it works. There is a wire about 8-9 feet up above the ground; the person ties a chicken to it - upside down - and wheels the chicken out on the wire. There's about a minute or two of pacing and plotting by the tigers, before one jumps up, snatches it, and runs off with the chicken while the other 10 tigers chase after him.

Here's a video of the pacing and plotting; my clip sadly did not capture the actual eating of the chicken.....

 

Brand Equity

Saw this advertisement for a clothing brand in a department store in Harbin. (More on our Harbin trip in a bit). Um, is this what people have in mind when they think of "Carol Burnett"? I was very surprised they used the Burnett name to market to males.

Can Chris C. come in and make a call here? Good or bad use of Brand equity?

PS - I can't find a"Carol Burnett" that makes clothes in my quick search on the net.




 

Craps Problem

Woke up at 4:00am because of the kids, but couldn't get back to sleep because I need help with a major issue.

Here's the problem. Craps wagering.  Eric's thought on the entry amounts are on point with Craps so I will enter in with $1K and do a pass line with triple odds, one come bet with triple odds, and one come bet with double odds  I'm good with stopping at 2 come bets at the start.  But I'm struggling on my next steps after I hit a come bet.  Do I put another Come bet out, or do I replace the one I just hit with a place bet?  I feel like I'm losing some momentum if I just put back out another come bet, and I don't know how much to put on the place bet?   18? 24? 30?  

Now I realize that my new strategy will limit my losses as well as limit my win totals when the table turns hot.   The last couple of years I have come to a point where when the table gets hot and I can't at least double my entry, I'm not too happy.  But the limitless come bet strategy doesn't allow me to play for the length of time I'm wanting this time around. So I think I'm ok, but just can't get comfortable with that next wagering move.  Thoughts?

Vegas 2013

Thanks to Layup for getting the ball rolling for this year's Vegas trip. Some radnom thoughts from me as we get ready for Vegas 2013. As of this writing, it is 76 hours until takeoff!

1. I am glad we are not going on the tournament weekend this year. I'm already looking forward to watching some of the first round games with the boy(s) - and I'm trying to plot how I can get out of some work meetings to watch all of the games. However, one big barrier exists; Warren is in the school play. The performances are Friday the 22nd at 6:30 pm (no problem) and Saturday at 11 am (which is Friday night at 11 pm in the East). Well, I can miss a few games, right?

2. Layup started to talk about a new way of rolling - I'm surprised that this has never come up on the blog before. I have two go-to throws that are awesome if I am on,but if not - look out:

a. The lob wedge from the end of the table where the dice land about 3 inches from the wall, bounce up, quickly hit the wall and die back down. I love this throw, however - there are two problems. First - I can't throw it too hard, since they will go straight off the table. No margin for error long. It's kind of like the 17th at Augusta. You can't go over the green.
But short is no bargain either. If you lob it and it falls short - say, 1 foot from the wall - then the big bounce is in play.I swear, the tables are getting bouncier over the past 5 years. I have thrown more dice off the table by bouncing lately than ever before.
The lob wedge is a touch shot, and I believe Wednesday is the practice rounf day to find the rhythm before the weekend.

b. The second shot is the line drive that is low and causes the dice to bounce all over the place. I love those rolls. My goal on this is to roll it hard enough so that one of the dice comes back to me and ends up on my side of the table. Rarely do these dice go off the table, but they have ended in the bowl and on the chip stack. If I can make both dice come back to my side of the table while throwing the point - well, I call that the orgasm.

3. Starting to have my strategy in mind on the initial layout of cash at the table. I am slowly drifting to planning to stay for long sessions at a table once I sit down; this wasn't always the case. I got into mini-arguments several years ago with Steve when we played blackjack; I sit down for 2 shoes and if they were bad ones, I'd get up. He'd be pissed, but (admittely) I have the attention span of a bumblebee at the casino. Now, I think I am better and am ready for 2, 3 hour session no matter what the game. So - in other words - 7 years later, I realize Steve probably had a valid point for yelling at me.

So - my thoughts for this trip on each session:

Craps: this is the game where I've thought the most about. On a lower limit game, I want to have the pass line with double odds, 2 place bets (6-8), and maybe one more come bet with double odds. That's 8 times the table limit on each roll. I'd like to have enough to survive 7-8 bad rollers; I think that's the minimum you need to ride out the storms.

This means a 60x outlay at the beginning. So -at a $10 table, that's $600. I think that's about right.

Higher limits? I'd back off a little, just a pass line with single odds and 2 place bets. That's 4x on the outlay, so we'd do 30x at the beginning.

UTH: I think 40x is the minimum to survive the swings. ($5 UTH - you'd have to bring at least $200). Adjust accordingly.

Blackjack: Ugh. The hardest. I think the minimum is 15x, maybe 20x. 

 4. Speaking of blackjack - ugh. I am so out of practice in that game. I don't play it that often, and now I am struggling with just the intermediate strategy. Soft 18 vs 8? 4-4 vs a 3? I don't have a clue. I'll be the dumbass looking at the card.

5. I have a feeling Wiz will drag us all into playing Casino War. He convinced me to play $300HK War in Macau in December - with disasterous results. What's next? Carribean stud???

6. I think Layup now understand the allure of Vegas in March for the Ohio group. The weather is awesome - compared to back home. Seeing 72 degree temperatures for 5 straight daysin early March is a godsend after the slush/grayness of a Midwest winter. He better have a finer appreciation for that fact now.
Me? I'm going down in temperature, as it is 83 and sunny today in Guangzhou.

7. I am looking forward to golf - as always - and I feel like Charlie Brown heading to Southern Highlands, where that course is Lucy. Any confidence I have now - and I have some - will evaporate by the 6th tee.

8. I'm shocked Layup did not include the last line of the movie clip in his blogpost: "We can't leave; I got a marker coming".

 

Sam we have a problem

Wow.  Less than a week til Vegas and I'm already amped up!!! Not too sure why its starting this early.  Maybe its due to living in KC where the weather has been brutal and there really isn't anything going on. Maybe its my job situation where for the first time I hate what I do and the kids are driving me absolutely nuts.  Or it could be for the first time I feel like I'm being treated like I should be treated by a casino.  In November Carol and I went out for a 48 swing to the Mirage and I applied for a credit line.  It was a little bit of a hassle but in the end it worked out and I used markers the entire trip.  Went on a spectacular losing run (Carol and I got clobbered in the Salon) that resulted in 5 outstanding markers.  Paying them off was very simple and everything worked out well in the end. 

So I called last night to make sure my markers were set for this trip and the conversation overwhelmed me.  Mr. Zahn, everything is all set.  Hope things have been going well since the trip here in November. See here that your wife was just here. Hope she had a great time.  Your limit is "x" and you can just go to the tables when you arrive and start playing.  See you in a week.  Wow, they know me.   Awesome!!!  

With the marker system in place its time to put together my budget and strategy for this trip.  Recently Eric and I were discussing the scene from Casino where Joe Pesci was playing BJ.  Here is the link.  No better way than to use those quotes to discuss what might happen during this trip and outline a plan. 

Sam we have a problem:

So I  found an additional $5k in a savings account labeled "Vegas" that I must of set up last year or the year before that I totally forgot about.   It was in with the kids college savings accounts, so I'm not too sure what my thinking was back then, but who cares now.  A little surprise money that bumps up my bankroll to the largest its ever been.   

We made out like we didn't know who he was:

To Don and Mike seeing me coming up to the UTH table taking a $1K marker and not saying a thing. UTH is the one game that makes me think I truly have a serious gambling problem.  I lose ALL the time and it makes me angry playing, but I seriously can't stop playing the game.  And to make matters worse, Carol told me that they have opened up a 3rd UTH table at the Mirage.  Ugh...  I seriously don't know what to do with this game.  I can't 86 myself from the game since I know I will sit down on more than one occasion to play.  I might just stick with playing table mins and just set a loss limit and call it a day. 

Ohhhh no: 

I love how he sounds here.   And that's the sound Eric will make when he realizes that Wiz and I aren't there to pick him up at 10:00pm on Tuesday night because we are playing roulette at Terribles Casino next to the airport. Wiz and I on the same flight to Vegas can only lead to bad things when we are the first folks into Vegas.  

How the fuck can you grin? How the fuck can you grin?:

To E for the crazy prices they are charging us for our dinner.  I learned early on never to doubt Don on his dinner selections (Mesa Grill vs Applebys) and early indications it will be outstanding, but the bar has been set very high sir. 

Look at this fucking beaut they put in now:

To all the craps dealers at the Mirage.  You can't tell me they all don't look like this guy.  And they are going to love me with my new rolling style.  I tested out a new roll and a new strategy over the weekend at Hollywood.  During this test session, two other guys were next to me all trying new systems. It was the most fun I had at a craps table without any of the regulars.  Wiz, we also had that young female dealer that was so jumpy when we threw her chips about a year ago.  She is now a pro.  Very impressive.  

Sherbet (?) send you in to knock me around now? You've been knocking everyone's dick in all night:

To the nasty and rude UTH dealers. Screw them.  

Take this king and pound it up your ass. Take this one and stick it up your sisters ass:

5-6 years back I gave up BJ because of a massive run at losing.  I feel that same way now about my craps roll and BJ.  If my new crap strategy doesn't get returns and I go into a quick funk in BJ, I might be playing PaiGow the entire time.  

That's right, keep looking at him you fucking dumby:

What we are all going to be doing when Ira convinces us to drink those monster death drinks downtown again and we all black out.  Did we get the shroom shot added to our drinks last time, because it seemed like we all went on our own very interesting journey for the next 6-7 hours.  Some of us ate deep fried twinkies while others sought to find the meaning of life from a lady named Giggles.  Are we going to be that dumb again?

Nicky you're not listening to me. I'm here to help you. What's the matter with you. You're going to burry us both. 

What Lee will say to Wiz and I again as he picks us up from the Nugget. 

Just give me the money. The fucking money Sammy.

What I'm most worried about is getting burned in the Salon early on in the trip resulting in me asking Eric for a loan on top of the loan I already got from the Mirage.  The Salon scares me not because of the limit, but because how nice it is in there.  With Carol last November, we hung out in there, smoked a free cigar, drank some nice scotch all on the house of course.  Difficult to just leave that atmosphere and return to playing even $25 BJ tables.  But I know that I can't just set up camp there and I need to be reminded of that.  

10 and that's it:

The best line and hand gesture of the bit.  And that's the budget I'm hoping to stay within.  

Craps: $5000

BJ: $4000

Pai Gow: $500

Roulette: $600

UTH $1000

What are you staring at you bald headed prick?

If my budget above is shot, I'll be stuck playing electronic craps, where I was able to win $20 last year. 

Typical Chinese Restaurant Menu

And finally tonight, we will go out to eat. This is a typical menu that we see at a restaurant, especially those that do not see many Western people. (This restaurant is located in Tianjin - a city many of you have never heard of, but is the 4th largest city in China with a population of over 12 million....).

Go ahead and figure out your favorite from these three dishes. It's not that hard - English on the menu!! What's the problem? Can't figure out what you like?

Guangzhou Shopping

To give you a sense of the people that are working in department/grocery stores, here's a video of me walking in the store looking down each of the beauty/cosmetic aisles. You can see at least 2 (and maybe more - 3, 4 at times) ladies dressed in formal black wear located in each aisle. These ladies are contractors hired by the manufacturers (.....like P&G.....) to hawk the products.

This is every day, every hour that the store is open. This is what cheap labor can get you.

(I apologize about the fingers getting in the way........it's harder than it looks to film and walk fast down the aisles holding a hidden camera phone)

Now we're concerned about licensing?

I'm in Bangkok, and the closest mall to the hotel is a 6-story mega mall. Each floor has a different city as a theme, complete with security guards on the floor dressed up in their "native" costumes. The guards on the London floor look like the Buckingham Palace guards, etc.....

The 4th floor is the "San Francisco" floor. No, this post is not about what the guards are wearing. One of the pillars on the floor is decorated in a sports theme. The decorations look to be straight out of a 6-year old's bedroom.

"Athletics San Francisco"? "SF Baseball League"? How hard is it to do a quick 30 second search on google for the logos of the teams? Are they worried about copyright infringment when there are thousands of DVDs being sold for $1 all around the city??

Guangzhou Subway

Hello! We are back from a good 6 week layoff! I have about 15-20 blog topics to post about; it's just been very diffivult to find the time to sit down and compose a semi-coherent post.

I am in Bangkok this week, so access to the Blogspot pages are free and easy. (It is almost impossible to post on the blog when I am traveling within China, as I don't have a separate VPN set up on my work computer).

So let's start the blogging again with this doozy of a picture found on this weblink. Thanks to Jon for forwarding on this link to me - and he asks me to verify if this is true or not. I have not seen something this blatent in China (yet), but this occurence doesn't surprise me at all.

Reader activity #1: What exactly is the guard thinking?

Reader activity #2: (from the link): Is he pooping in the "recyclable" part of the trash bin? Is that the correct etiquette? Let's ask Carolyn Hax.......