OK, everyone, it's time for the audience participation part of the blog! The 2011 NFL season is coming up soon - and yes, I am cautiously optimistic (as usual) about the Browns this year. I just watch the Direct TV "Short Cuts" of the 34-14 win over the Pats from last year - and I'm ready for the season to start.
A few notes:
1. I am planning to re-start the weekly NFL previews with my picks. I just need a topic to center the previews around. To recap, I started this preview theme in 2006 by listing one of my favorite "Price is Right" games each week. In 2007, it was Seinfeld characters; in 2008, it was summarizing the NFL Head referees, and in 2009, it was the 18 holes of Augusta. We didn't do the weekly previews last year for obvious reasons.
So - looking for input from the readers on possible topics for 2011. It would have to be a "top 17" list for each week of the season.
We could focus on pop culture (like: 17 top sitcoms of the 80s; the 17 shows I watched the most in college, 17 one-hit wonders)
It could focus on football (top 17 Browns victories since the return, top 17 Browns quarterbacks, etc.)
(Do the Browns actually have 17 victories since 1999? -ed) Ha ha
Or it could be completely arrogant and focus on me (top 17 golf rounds in my career, top 17 putts that put the dagger in my friends, etc.)
Any input is welcome.
2. I went back and actually looked at my record in doing these picks. Here is the recap; these picks and records are all on the blog for public review, with the exception of 2010. I put this statement here for complete disclosure, unlike a certain friend of Wiz's whose initials are D.M.
2006: 140-124-8 (53%)
2007: partial year: 84-101-10 (45%)
2008: 143-105-8 (58%)
2009: 104-120-4 (46%)
2010: 119-102-4 (54%)
For a grand total of: 590-552-34, or 51.7%. Hmmmmm...seems like 590-552 should sound better than 52%.
The pattern I am falling into - even numbered years are good, odd numbered years are bad - is not a good sign as we move into..........
3. Stepping it up: Layup and I have an announcement to make. We have decided to make fools of ourselves this year and see how we fare vs. real competition in the Las Vegas Hilton Supercontest. Basically, we pick 5 games against the spread each week - and after 17, the entries with the best records win. Simple as that. We are still working out all the details - I'm sure we will have a link so people can see the standings.
4. Am I a degenerate, or merely a fan? Do you really want an answer? -ed One of the ex-pats here in Guangzhou is also a Browns fan. This is his first NFL season here - and he bought the "NFL Rewind" package from NFL.com that plays the shortened versions of each game over the internet, on demand. The games will be available for download at midnight each night Eastern time.
He invited a bunch of us - including me - to come over every Monday night to his place and watch 1) the Browns game and 2) other games after that. It's clear that the Browns are the main attraction....
....but I told him I probably would decline. You see, he requested that no one log into the internet or check scores all day Monday - so that we see the games for the first time on Monday night. That makes sense - and many people can do that - but I can't. There's just no way that:
1) I can sleep when the NFL is on and I have a slingbox, and
2) I can go a whole day without checking the scores on the internet/iPhone.
There's just no way I can see myself having that self-discipline. None. Am I weak, or just normal?
5. Home vs. Cincinnati....at Indy, maybe without Peyton.....home vs. Miami.....home vs. Tennessee....at Oakland...home vs. Seattle....at San Fran....at Houston....home vs. St Louis....home vs. Jacksonville....at Cincinnati.....
Yep, that's our first 11 games....and that just sounds like 8-3, no?
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 27, 2011
Ah, the ex-pat life
Today, Janice took the boys to a real Chinese hair salon to get their hair cut. Last year, we went to the ex-pat compound where most of the Americans live - there is a hair salon in that complex. The boys got their hair cut for 38 RMB each.....and each cut was done in record time (under 6 minutes each). So it wasn't the highest quality.
Janice took the boys out on our street to one of the local hair salons - there are at least 10 of them between our apartment and the main bridge, a span of 2 km.
What occurred was pretty much what you would expect. The boys were pampered. Martin, especially, loved the attention - as you can see in the picture.
All for a price of 30 RMB ($4.75) each.
Two random pictures
1. I found my soulmate in Hong Kong! Here is a picture of the dashboard of our taxi in HK before we left. So - for all of you who made fun of me for my phone & pager obsessions, I have nothing on this guy.
(I wonder what each phone is for....)
2. There is a popular book out about Chinese society, called "Sleeping Chinese". It is a photo book filled with pictures of Chinese citizens sleeping in odd, public places. Here is the website.
Let me just say that it is 100% complete reality. I was walking on the sidewalk from our P&G office to our travel agent in another building....at 12:30 in the afternoon.
This is just one random picture during my walk that was repeated 15, 20 times. Everywhere you looked - people napping in public.
Aug 21, 2011
Civilized Dining in Guangzhou
1. A sign of civilization here in Guangzhou! The first Burger King in the city opened in May - and we finally got around to going to it yesterday. (It's located in a mall). 
The whoppers were very similar to the ones in the US; the onion rings were a bit underdone and dry. But still - can't complain!
2. Here is part of a drink menu from a restuarant we went to Friday night. Has anyone every heard of this drink? Somehow, I don't think Sprite has entered Kermit's body since 1994.
The whoppers were very similar to the ones in the US; the onion rings were a bit underdone and dry. But still - can't complain!
2. Here is part of a drink menu from a restuarant we went to Friday night. Has anyone every heard of this drink? Somehow, I don't think Sprite has entered Kermit's body since 1994.
Don't get to work late
I got into the office late one day - about 8:45, 8:50 or so. After getting my 600mL bottle of Pepsi at the Circle K (cost: 3.50 yuan, or about 60 cents) I headed to the elevators.
Apparently, the subway just arrived and there were a horde of people at the elevators. Here is a picture of the line I was in - the elevator I wanted was directly to the right.
The line of people in back is for the far elevators - the elevators are by the blurry TV screen. There were at least 50 people in line.
As you can see, they set up the airplane-gate ropes by the elevator to maintain a constant queue going to the separate elevators.
The lesson, of course - everyone in the 40 story office building arrives between 8:45 and 9:30. Don't arrive at those times.
Apparently, the subway just arrived and there were a horde of people at the elevators. Here is a picture of the line I was in - the elevator I wanted was directly to the right.
The line of people in back is for the far elevators - the elevators are by the blurry TV screen. There were at least 50 people in line.
As you can see, they set up the airplane-gate ropes by the elevator to maintain a constant queue going to the separate elevators.
The lesson, of course - everyone in the 40 story office building arrives between 8:45 and 9:30. Don't arrive at those times.
A picture to make an Irishman cry
Had to put this picture up for Craig. This is a picture from a supermarket that features many foreign foods. For import foods, the flag of the nation is there to show where it was imported from.
Here's a picture of the beer aisle. You can see - Beck's imported from Germany, Heineken from Holland, and a mystery beer in the top left, imported from Malaysia....
Aug 16, 2011
A glowing review
There is a small waterpark nearby our apartment. A friend of ours went on Sunday with his kids - I asked for a review, and whether we should take our boys sometime.
His response, verbatim:
Fun, but go early, as the filters have a hard time keeping up with population. Water very clean at beginning, by noon a little cloudy. Plus, more public urination than I prefer at my water parks.
Otherwise, lovely!
His response, verbatim:
Fun, but go early, as the filters have a hard time keeping up with population. Water very clean at beginning, by noon a little cloudy. Plus, more public urination than I prefer at my water parks.
Otherwise, lovely!
Aug 15, 2011
The definition of demotivation
Yesterday, the gym at our complex was closed - no reason given, just a notice that "on August 14th, the facitilies will be temporarily closed". I really needed to get some exercise, as I have skipped a couple of sessions last week - so I decided to run outside yesterday afternoon.
It wasn't deathly hot - even though it was 90-95 degrees and 90% humidity - the run was on the river and there was some shade, at least. I completed 5K in about 30 minutes (29:45!!!) and walked back into the apartment complex.
I was dripping with sweat and still trying to catch my breath fully when I went into the elevator with a middle-aged Chinese woman. After saying "Ni Hao", she responded with something like:
"Pao Lao Ti"
I had no idea what she was saying, so she tried again, a bit slower:
"Pao Lao Tai" - different word on the end.
"Pao Lao Tai", she tried one more time.
I shrugged - again - and got to my floor and exited.
5 seconds later - it hit me. Hey- maybe I know some of those words! "Tai", I remember, is "too" - like too hot, too much, too cold, etc.
"Lao" - where I have heard that before? "Lao Shi" is the word for teacher....literally meaning "old leader". So "Lao" must be old, or elderly....
Hey, wait a minute...I don't like where this is going.
I looked up "Pao" on my IPhone Chinese dictionary - yup, one of the definitions for Pao means "to run"
So - she literally told me "run old too", or, with some simple rearranging, "too old to run" - I'm too old to run.
I'm going to have to learn Chinese in order to respond to insults within an hour.....
(* "Lao Ti" I think is worse; it means "old and weak". So she could be saying "I run like an old, weak man".)
Aug 14, 2011
Only the best
Here is a picture of our engineering department shirts that were ordered for an offsite.
I think the owner of the company who makes the shirt needs to take the advanced
English lessons.....
I think the owner of the company who makes the shirt needs to take the advanced
English lessons.....
Aug 7, 2011
Chinese Logic
We have been doing a lot of miscellaneous stuff around the apartment here to get ready for another year here in China. It's very hard to believe that the 1 year anniversary for our assignment was on Saturday; it's even harder to believe that the boys go back to school on Wednesday!
The feeling around here reminds me of the first hours of a Vegas trip on Wednesday. Our friends are arriving bit by bit - we all know that they have to be here by Wednesday, but I'm not sure of their exact arrival dates. One friendof ours came back last Thursday; another arrived this weekend; twomore are coming tomorrow (I think).....it's very much like a Wednesday night in Vegas, when the whole group starts arriving in stages.
The big addition to the apartment this year is a new router we bought in California; it workslike a charm and I can access the signal all the way in the kitchen. Slingbox now works on the main TV - so I may be camped out on our couch for the NFL games on Monday morning from 1-4 am.
We also went to the sporting goods store to buy a bike for Martin. As you can see in the first picture - you will be satisfied or....you will be satisfied! There is no other choice!
The mindset of customers in stores here is much different. The second picture is a picture of the ping-pong table displays in the store. As you can see, customers have no problem in helping themselves in trying the equipment/table out. The bike area in this store is filled with customers actually riding sample bikes up and down the aisle.
And it's like this in every store. You should see the IKEA on a Saturday ( I did yesterday). It's like a hospital waiting room. 90% of the seats of the sofas/chairs on display are occupied. At least half of the beds on display has someone laying on it. Hey, it's there to be used, right?
The landlord's assistant came over on Saturday as we shared a list of things we wanted done around the place to renew our lease. One of the items was the swimming pool at the apartment. The pool is open from 8:30 - 11, and then from 3:30 - 9. It is closed from 11-3:30.
Those hours are fine during the week, but during the weekend, with 3 kids? I mean, early afternoon hours are prime hours to be at the pool!!! So I brought this up with the manager.
"Yes, it is closed from 11 - 3:30."
Well, can it be open during those hours on a weekend?
"Oh....hmmmm...well, those are the hours when the sun shines on the pool."
And?
"It gets hot on the pool deck - with the sun there. It's too hot to work. So we close it down until it gets colder at 3:30."
So - you actaully close the pool because it is too hot to swim?
"Yes, that's right."
Let me get you the number of a pool manager in Las Vegas and you can talk to them on how to keep a pool open during the summer.....
The feeling around here reminds me of the first hours of a Vegas trip on Wednesday. Our friends are arriving bit by bit - we all know that they have to be here by Wednesday, but I'm not sure of their exact arrival dates. One friendof ours came back last Thursday; another arrived this weekend; twomore are coming tomorrow (I think).....it's very much like a Wednesday night in Vegas, when the whole group starts arriving in stages.
The big addition to the apartment this year is a new router we bought in California; it workslike a charm and I can access the signal all the way in the kitchen. Slingbox now works on the main TV - so I may be camped out on our couch for the NFL games on Monday morning from 1-4 am.
We also went to the sporting goods store to buy a bike for Martin. As you can see in the first picture - you will be satisfied or....you will be satisfied! There is no other choice!
The mindset of customers in stores here is much different. The second picture is a picture of the ping-pong table displays in the store. As you can see, customers have no problem in helping themselves in trying the equipment/table out. The bike area in this store is filled with customers actually riding sample bikes up and down the aisle.
And it's like this in every store. You should see the IKEA on a Saturday ( I did yesterday). It's like a hospital waiting room. 90% of the seats of the sofas/chairs on display are occupied. At least half of the beds on display has someone laying on it. Hey, it's there to be used, right?
The landlord's assistant came over on Saturday as we shared a list of things we wanted done around the place to renew our lease. One of the items was the swimming pool at the apartment. The pool is open from 8:30 - 11, and then from 3:30 - 9. It is closed from 11-3:30.
Those hours are fine during the week, but during the weekend, with 3 kids? I mean, early afternoon hours are prime hours to be at the pool!!! So I brought this up with the manager.
"Yes, it is closed from 11 - 3:30."
Well, can it be open during those hours on a weekend?
"Oh....hmmmm...well, those are the hours when the sun shines on the pool."
And?
"It gets hot on the pool deck - with the sun there. It's too hot to work. So we close it down until it gets colder at 3:30."
So - you actaully close the pool because it is too hot to swim?
"Yes, that's right."
Let me get you the number of a pool manager in Las Vegas and you can talk to them on how to keep a pool open during the summer.....
Aug 4, 2011
Am I getting soft?
Layup and I made a trip to the Pala Casino in Southern California the night before I left. We ended up spending 4 1/2 hours out there - we thought we would play some UTH, some Pai Gow, blackjack - you know, some variety.
As you probably guessed, 100% of the time was spent on UTH.
And not just normal UTH - this was Progressive! For an extra $1 (or more, I guess) on top of the trips, you have a side bet on the hand you form with your two hole cards and the three flop cards. A royal wins $75,000!
(Of course, no one came close).
Anyway, Layup and I settled in nicely - to his left, Layup made friends with a 60 year old Asian woman who knew no English but would engage Layup in a high-ten (two hands) when they both hit a winning hand. Stevie Williams and Tiger had better coordination.
Next to me was a 50-something woman who seemed to be Mexican by birth but was Americanized. Her and I would chat a bit about the hands - very friendly. Every once in a while, this strange male, about 25-30, who had some sort of mental defect would come over and hover; the lady would quickly scold him in Spanish, telling him to sit down over there and shut up. (Sientese alli! See, I still know some spanish.
After the third visit by this man, I gave my neighbor a quizzical look.
"That's my son. He fell into a pool when he was young, drowned and had some brain damage because of it."
Oh - sorry to hear that.
"Yes, he likes to come with me and hang out while I play. He's going in for surgery tomorrow - he's getting a skin graft - and he can't have anything to eat after midnight. So I have to keep an eye on him."
Um - ok. I will file that away in my brain - if any of you think I have a gambling problem (you know, taking my 7 month pregnant wife to play craps in a smoky Argosy casino, betting halftime lines for WNBA, driving 10 hours in one day to gamble)- I'll just throw this lady out as the counter example. I'm not as bad as her!
Anyway, about 2 hours in, I was winning some and Layup was up some too. Two ladies came over and occupied the seats at the far end of the table. One was a 60-year old country girl, dressed in a cowboy shirt that was adorned with rhinestones. I immediately thought "Ann Richards", but Layup beat me to it and whispered "Rhinestone Cowboy is here".
Two hands in - two hands! - she noticed that Layup and I were not playing the trips. Here we go again.
"You're not playing the trips? That's stupid. That's how you make money in this game! You have to play the trips!"
Before I could say anything, Layup pulls the "Shufflemaster" card out and says he works for Shufflemaster and said the Trips bet "is for suckers only". That shut everyone up for a while.
The mood of the table turned icy - but a strange thing happened. I started winning. And - oddly - I was the only one winning. Layup went on a losing streak; our friends started losing, and Rhinestone kept losing too. But I kept winning. I would guess that 40-50% of my hands were A-x, K-6 or higher or Q-J - --- all hands to go in 4x before the flop. I didn't win all of them, but I did win about 75% of them - that helps the bankroll.
Rhinestone started paying attention, and then was interested in our methods.
"You go 4x on any ace?"
Oh dear, I can see this coming a mile away. Yes, I replied.
"Hmmmmph...."
The next hand - the next one, I swear! - she got dealt an ace. She went 4x. She lost.
Three hands later, she got A-x again. She did not go 4x, she waited until the last round, went 1x - and won.
By then, the mood of the table was in the pits. No one was winning. Layup, who was up a few hundred, was now down to his last few bets. Our friends left.
But I kept on winning.
I felt sympathtic to the table - and even toward Rhinestone. Five years ago - one year ago? - I would have muttered "f*** her" to Layup. But no - she's just a mistaken woman who can't be bothered to understand the odds. I felt some pity for her.
And it depressed me that no one else was winning. The best times at a casino are when everyone wins. This was an odd feeling - I'm winning but no one else can buy a hand.
We played another hour - the mood did not improve, and Layup fought back to even - but I never felt vengeful, or overjoyed at the table. I won 4 digits of profit - and yet I just wish Rhinestone would have shut her mouth and hept her head down when she sat at the table.
What's wrong with me? I am getting soft and emotional as I get older, aren't I?
As you probably guessed, 100% of the time was spent on UTH.
And not just normal UTH - this was Progressive! For an extra $1 (or more, I guess) on top of the trips, you have a side bet on the hand you form with your two hole cards and the three flop cards. A royal wins $75,000!
(Of course, no one came close).
Anyway, Layup and I settled in nicely - to his left, Layup made friends with a 60 year old Asian woman who knew no English but would engage Layup in a high-ten (two hands) when they both hit a winning hand. Stevie Williams and Tiger had better coordination.
Next to me was a 50-something woman who seemed to be Mexican by birth but was Americanized. Her and I would chat a bit about the hands - very friendly. Every once in a while, this strange male, about 25-30, who had some sort of mental defect would come over and hover; the lady would quickly scold him in Spanish, telling him to sit down over there and shut up. (Sientese alli! See, I still know some spanish.
After the third visit by this man, I gave my neighbor a quizzical look.
"That's my son. He fell into a pool when he was young, drowned and had some brain damage because of it."
Oh - sorry to hear that.
"Yes, he likes to come with me and hang out while I play. He's going in for surgery tomorrow - he's getting a skin graft - and he can't have anything to eat after midnight. So I have to keep an eye on him."
Um - ok. I will file that away in my brain - if any of you think I have a gambling problem (you know, taking my 7 month pregnant wife to play craps in a smoky Argosy casino, betting halftime lines for WNBA, driving 10 hours in one day to gamble)- I'll just throw this lady out as the counter example. I'm not as bad as her!
Anyway, about 2 hours in, I was winning some and Layup was up some too. Two ladies came over and occupied the seats at the far end of the table. One was a 60-year old country girl, dressed in a cowboy shirt that was adorned with rhinestones. I immediately thought "Ann Richards", but Layup beat me to it and whispered "Rhinestone Cowboy is here".
Two hands in - two hands! - she noticed that Layup and I were not playing the trips. Here we go again.
"You're not playing the trips? That's stupid. That's how you make money in this game! You have to play the trips!"
Before I could say anything, Layup pulls the "Shufflemaster" card out and says he works for Shufflemaster and said the Trips bet "is for suckers only". That shut everyone up for a while.
The mood of the table turned icy - but a strange thing happened. I started winning. And - oddly - I was the only one winning. Layup went on a losing streak; our friends started losing, and Rhinestone kept losing too. But I kept winning. I would guess that 40-50% of my hands were A-x, K-6 or higher or Q-J - --- all hands to go in 4x before the flop. I didn't win all of them, but I did win about 75% of them - that helps the bankroll.
Rhinestone started paying attention, and then was interested in our methods.
"You go 4x on any ace?"
Oh dear, I can see this coming a mile away. Yes, I replied.
"Hmmmmph...."
The next hand - the next one, I swear! - she got dealt an ace. She went 4x. She lost.
Three hands later, she got A-x again. She did not go 4x, she waited until the last round, went 1x - and won.
By then, the mood of the table was in the pits. No one was winning. Layup, who was up a few hundred, was now down to his last few bets. Our friends left.
But I kept on winning.
I felt sympathtic to the table - and even toward Rhinestone. Five years ago - one year ago? - I would have muttered "f*** her" to Layup. But no - she's just a mistaken woman who can't be bothered to understand the odds. I felt some pity for her.
And it depressed me that no one else was winning. The best times at a casino are when everyone wins. This was an odd feeling - I'm winning but no one else can buy a hand.
We played another hour - the mood did not improve, and Layup fought back to even - but I never felt vengeful, or overjoyed at the table. I won 4 digits of profit - and yet I just wish Rhinestone would have shut her mouth and hept her head down when she sat at the table.
What's wrong with me? I am getting soft and emotional as I get older, aren't I?
Aug 2, 2011
Chinese Young Love
In the Starbucks near work (actaully, on the 1st floor of our building), there is a notebook where aspiring young artists/poets/party memebers can write down their deepest thoughts & notes. I was flipping through it yesterday while waiting for my drink....and came across this.
Is this sarcastic? Quixote-ish? Encouraging? Who knows.....I will have to find Jason somehow....
Is this sarcastic? Quixote-ish? Encouraging? Who knows.....I will have to find Jason somehow....
Jet Lag
It's been a week now since we've been in China - and I think it's safe to say now that we are over the jet lag. It only took us 7 days!
(there is some sort of scientific study that it takes you one day to recover from jet lag for each time zone you travel. That may be true for 80-year olds, but cmon....3 days to recover from a visit to/from CA?)
We landed early Wednesday morning last week - after a 14 hour flight. Everyone took some sort of nap that day. At 6:30 pm, the boys were crying that they wanted to go to bed. They went to bed at 7 pm.
The whole house was up Thursday morning at 2:30 am.
On Friday, everyone was up at 4; on Saturday, it was 5. For 5 days, everyone was in bed sleeping at 10 pm - including us.
On Sunday, I tried to stay up to 10:30 pm at night, only to wake up at 4:30. On the bright side, I was able to watch the end of the golf and see my golfer, Gary Woodland, woefully underclub on 18 when he needed a birdie.
Only today are the boys finally waking up at the regular hour (7 am).
It's much, much tougher coming here than going from here to the US.
(there is some sort of scientific study that it takes you one day to recover from jet lag for each time zone you travel. That may be true for 80-year olds, but cmon....3 days to recover from a visit to/from CA?)
We landed early Wednesday morning last week - after a 14 hour flight. Everyone took some sort of nap that day. At 6:30 pm, the boys were crying that they wanted to go to bed. They went to bed at 7 pm.
The whole house was up Thursday morning at 2:30 am.
On Friday, everyone was up at 4; on Saturday, it was 5. For 5 days, everyone was in bed sleeping at 10 pm - including us.
On Sunday, I tried to stay up to 10:30 pm at night, only to wake up at 4:30. On the bright side, I was able to watch the end of the golf and see my golfer, Gary Woodland, woefully underclub on 18 when he needed a birdie.
Only today are the boys finally waking up at the regular hour (7 am).
It's much, much tougher coming here than going from here to the US.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)