OK, so I'll get to apologize to Eric in person on Saturday for this, but below is the Overview of the Browns-Bears preseason game tonight on the Orange Report blog site. Browns vs Bears, Griese vs Dorsey, feel the intensity.
Overview
This is an excellent game to watch as a pure fan of the sport. The Bears have not finished off the preseason with a victory since 1994, while the Browns are looking to end the preseason on a three game winning streak. Players understand their careers are on the line and the intensity level just seems to be cracked up another level. It may only be the backups playing but it gives both teams a chance to evaluate their depth. This is vital for two teams that believe they will be playing in January, when that depth will be tested.
So let me get this straight. The first line tells it all doesn't it? And this guy thinks that the Browns will be playing in the playoffs? WOW!!! I know that they need to be excited about the last preseason game, but this is over the top.
Aug 31, 2006
Two questions for the day...
1. Why are Mexican game shows so crazy? I have no idea what the hell is going on, but I guess if you put the Sanchez family in red jumpsuits and have them make plastic hamburgers on an assembly line while a crazy chef runs around girls in bikinis screaming, its entertainment???
2. Thoughts on a guy and girl sitting on the same side of the table for lunch or dinner? Obviously they are a couple, but why? I absolutely can't stand this to the point that I give them the ole stink eye and head shake as I'm reading the Journal. Are you guys that controlling that you can't have the girl sit across the table from you? Too far away is it??? A girl I dated out here did this once and got the "What the fuck are you doing" line and look from me. Let's just say that set the tone for a very wonderful evening.
2. Thoughts on a guy and girl sitting on the same side of the table for lunch or dinner? Obviously they are a couple, but why? I absolutely can't stand this to the point that I give them the ole stink eye and head shake as I'm reading the Journal. Are you guys that controlling that you can't have the girl sit across the table from you? Too far away is it??? A girl I dated out here did this once and got the "What the fuck are you doing" line and look from me. Let's just say that set the tone for a very wonderful evening.
Aug 30, 2006
I love my team, I hate my team
Yes, going to bore you with the results of my fantasy drafts.
I have already been in two draft - the first is an ultra-competitive church league with 10 players; the second is a $100 league with 12 players.
The church league (10 teams: in parentheses is the round that I drafted the player):
QB: Bulger (4)
Simms (11)
RB: Tomlinson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Gore (9)
WR: Fitzgerald (2)
Evans (6)
Horn (8)
Edwards (10)
Toomer (14)
TE: Gates (5)
Winslow (16)
K: Elam (12)
Wilkins (15)
Def: Chi (7)
Sea (13).
Very happy with my running backs; shocked that Gates fell to me in the 5th round. Derek is apopletic about the Evans pick in the 6th round, but I have a good feeling about him.
I am a big believer in picking up 2 good defenses, so you can play matchup each week; you also have to understand who everyone is playing during your league's playoff weeks. Sea has SF on week 15 and Chi has Det on week 16....
Now, for the big money league with 12 teams:
QB: E Manning (2)
Warner (11)
RB: S Jackson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Lundy (7)
Duckett (14)
WR: Ward (4)
Driver (5)
Keyshawn Johnson (8)
Bryant (10)
Toomer (13)
TE: Crumpler (6)
Stephens (15)
Def: Pit (9)
Mia (12)
K: Bironas (16)
Dawson (17)
Not feeling good after this. Having the 8th overall pick sucked - other options were R Brown (no), Jordan (no no no), C Williams (sophomore slump), Palmer (I thought about it). Eli in the 2nd is a risk; so is Driver and Keyshawn. I can't believe that Duckett fell that far - the 45th RB to go in the draft! I realized too late the Stephens and Crumpler are on the same bye week. Crap. Defenses are solid, and I really, really like Bironas. And I have my token Brown in Phil Dawson!
I have already been in two draft - the first is an ultra-competitive church league with 10 players; the second is a $100 league with 12 players.
The church league (10 teams: in parentheses is the round that I drafted the player):
QB: Bulger (4)
Simms (11)
RB: Tomlinson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Gore (9)
WR: Fitzgerald (2)
Evans (6)
Horn (8)
Edwards (10)
Toomer (14)
TE: Gates (5)
Winslow (16)
K: Elam (12)
Wilkins (15)
Def: Chi (7)
Sea (13).
Very happy with my running backs; shocked that Gates fell to me in the 5th round. Derek is apopletic about the Evans pick in the 6th round, but I have a good feeling about him.
I am a big believer in picking up 2 good defenses, so you can play matchup each week; you also have to understand who everyone is playing during your league's playoff weeks. Sea has SF on week 15 and Chi has Det on week 16....
Now, for the big money league with 12 teams:
QB: E Manning (2)
Warner (11)
RB: S Jackson (1)
C Taylor (3)
Lundy (7)
Duckett (14)
WR: Ward (4)
Driver (5)
Keyshawn Johnson (8)
Bryant (10)
Toomer (13)
TE: Crumpler (6)
Stephens (15)
Def: Pit (9)
Mia (12)
K: Bironas (16)
Dawson (17)
Not feeling good after this. Having the 8th overall pick sucked - other options were R Brown (no), Jordan (no no no), C Williams (sophomore slump), Palmer (I thought about it). Eli in the 2nd is a risk; so is Driver and Keyshawn. I can't believe that Duckett fell that far - the 45th RB to go in the draft! I realized too late the Stephens and Crumpler are on the same bye week. Crap. Defenses are solid, and I really, really like Bironas. And I have my token Brown in Phil Dawson!
What would you do?
I was going to title this "What Would Jesus Do?", but then I realized that Jesus wouldn't get married....since that would introduce some sort of sin into his heart.....
anyway, let's say you are in this situation.....
- You are married
- Your wife (or husband) has a significant position at his/her job - so it's not like your spouse is the drive thru manager at McDonald's or something like that
- Your spouse's work has a function at a sporting event! They have tickets to a luxury box for the game.
- However, unfortuantely, the game is between the hometown team and the team you are a big fan of. It is assumed that 95% of the people in attenance from your spouse's company will be rooting for the home team and not your team.
So, for instance, Derek is married, and Derek's wife's company has invited the two of them to a sky box at Edison field for a crucial 3-game weekend series in September with the Angels vs. the A's.
So what do you do? Should you:
1) go as a neutral observer and not cheer?
2) go and root for your own team, possibly pissing your wife's co-workers/managers off?
3) change colors and for that day and root for the home team?
4) politely decline the invitation to go?
and does it matter if this is an NFL game vs. an MLB game?
anyway, let's say you are in this situation.....
- You are married
- Your wife (or husband) has a significant position at his/her job - so it's not like your spouse is the drive thru manager at McDonald's or something like that
- Your spouse's work has a function at a sporting event! They have tickets to a luxury box for the game.
- However, unfortuantely, the game is between the hometown team and the team you are a big fan of. It is assumed that 95% of the people in attenance from your spouse's company will be rooting for the home team and not your team.
So, for instance, Derek is married, and Derek's wife's company has invited the two of them to a sky box at Edison field for a crucial 3-game weekend series in September with the Angels vs. the A's.
So what do you do? Should you:
1) go as a neutral observer and not cheer?
2) go and root for your own team, possibly pissing your wife's co-workers/managers off?
3) change colors and for that day and root for the home team?
4) politely decline the invitation to go?
and does it matter if this is an NFL game vs. an MLB game?
Caption Contest
Well, after Derek's post on Deadspin, we find this doozy of a picture posted on that site.
The picture is safe for work, but may burn a hole in your memory bank.
Post your captions below.
The picture is safe for work, but may burn a hole in your memory bank.
Post your captions below.
Aug 28, 2006
Deadspin and Oddjack
OK, one of my regular sites has become the fabulous deadspin.com. Ccomical sports coverage with the best part being the comments section of each post. So today I was reviewing their Kyle Orton pictures and went into their old links to a site called oddjack. Has anyone heard of this site before? Looks to have massive amounts of meaningless gambling input for us losers to mull over on Fridays. Since I'm out of the business now, I'm sure I'll start to dable a little on some games and I might start to use this site. Nothing to look at right now, so I'll make sure it gets posted before the season starts.
http://www.oddjack.com/
Also, can we all give it up for Vin Scully? This guy is amazing. Tell me how he is not doing the World Series games? No cheesy color announcer, no random repeating of junk, and no self centered references. Just great play by play with great delivery. Does everyone know that he does all the games by himself? And he doesn't miss a beat. It would be perfect to see him do another world series and hear the feedback.
Finally, I just wanted to say it was nice to see the A's spank the Red Sox B Team. Why the hell would the Sox sit both Ortiz and Ramirez? Loiaza has been on fire recently. Did the Sox really think they had a chance without the two best hitters on the team? Don't know, but thank you Francona. 6.5 games up. Goodnight.
http://www.oddjack.com/
Also, can we all give it up for Vin Scully? This guy is amazing. Tell me how he is not doing the World Series games? No cheesy color announcer, no random repeating of junk, and no self centered references. Just great play by play with great delivery. Does everyone know that he does all the games by himself? And he doesn't miss a beat. It would be perfect to see him do another world series and hear the feedback.
Finally, I just wanted to say it was nice to see the A's spank the Red Sox B Team. Why the hell would the Sox sit both Ortiz and Ramirez? Loiaza has been on fire recently. Did the Sox really think they had a chance without the two best hitters on the team? Don't know, but thank you Francona. 6.5 games up. Goodnight.
Laguna Beach
Really wanted to blog about the MTVs Fresh Meat show since it has been absolutely amazing over the last several weeks. No added drama, just some really interesting challenges and some great Survivor like decisions. Am I the only one cheering for Wes to win it all?
Anyway, I was able to catch up on Laguna Beach this weekend and was very disappointed. From everything that I heard I thought it was going to be great, but then was let down on many fronts. Below is the breakdown of this season compared to the last two seasons.
Kristen vs. Kyndra- What people tend to forget about Kristen was that she was the nice one in season one, but turned into a bitch during the whole Stephen's girlfriend vs. Stephen's best friend saga. So you got to enjoy a nice and sweet Kristen at the beginning and then you could relate to her becoming a bitch because she was protecting her boyfriend from LC who as we all know wanted to sleep with Stephen from the get go. But this girl Kyndra is just nasty, with no likeable qualities. Is she hot? Yes, but nothing compared to Kristen. Can you see Kyndra dating the next Heishman trophy winner at USC or Nick O'Shea? No, me neither. Kristen was pulling in all of the hot single and married men in LA for a solid year after the show ended. Advantage Season 1/2.
LC vs. Tessa- I really like both. Tessa's got that exotic thing working for her, while LC had that classic 50s look that I like so much. They both seem to have some set of morals, but they both are friends with guys that are total duchebags. Advantage- Push
Cameron vs. Stephen- When I thought that they couldn't put more of an idiot on the show than Stephen, they come up with this guy Cameron. Are girls this stupid that they go for dwebs like this? They are the reasons why Ben and I grill out, play Gin Rummy 20,000, and drink at home. The OC is filled with jackasses like this, don't get me started. Advantage- Push
Friends vs. Friends- Nobody will beat Taylor from last season. I still have the biggest crush on her. And who was that hooker from Season 2 that drove around that Mercedes? The one with the teeth the size of the Empire State Building and the 27 year old Armenian boyfriend? Oooh I loved her. So dirty. Throw in Jason, Talon, that tall awkward looking blonde, and the gay guy that made those trucker hats, and it was a knock out cast. The new season has this girl named Cami who despite having knockers the size of China, sucks ass. She knows that she isn't pretty so to get attention she puts her boobs on a platter and acts like a raging bitch. Not bad to have her in some scenes, but to have her as the best friend of the main character just doesn't do it for me. And Rocky is just your non descript blonde bombshell. She makes me yearn for Low from Season 1 (my mom's favorite). And the guys? Ugh. Mark my words, I will have a run in with that rock star Chase guy. I'm sure I'll be having a nice quiet cup of coffee at Starbucks and he will walk in and immediately take off his shirt and start playing acoustic guitar. I hate guys that take off their shirts for no reason whatsoever. What a fucking pansy losser. Advantage Season 1/2
Mothers- Is there any wonder why these girls act the way that they do? When Kyndra was going out on her date with Cameron and was basically wearing boxer briefs, the mom didn't say a word. What the fuck? All the moms remind me of the mom from Mean Girls. Don't these moms watch this show? If my mom watches, then I'm sure that every parent has seen this shit. Why would you agree to have your kids on this show? Advantage Season 3
Boobs- This is getting out of control. And its not only on this show, but everywhere in the OC. Young girls with massive amounts of cleavage. And its not me being a perv. While standing in line, Carol almost went bezerk on these two 16 year olds standing in front of us, talking about their late night while their boobs were popping out everywhere. Big ones too. No reason for this. It was a sunday morning, and I don't need to see that shit. Friday night is fine, but a sunday morning??? Come on. Put on some clothes. Advantage Season 3
Jessica- Umm, what is she still doing on the show? Can someone please tell her that she looks like a fool. I rather see her getting abused by Jason than her being pathetic with Cameron. This is what happens when your friends with the most attractive and confident girl in the universe. Your self esteem is shot and you become a doormat. I can't believe I actually had a crush on her. And yes, I know I'm pathetic since I had not one but two crushes on girls in a high school TV show. Advantage season 1/2
Jason- They put Jessica back on, but they don't have the king of all players on the show? Austin and I spent an entire lunch giving this guy props for the shit he was pulling. This guy had the dumb silent response whenever he got caught and it worked!!!!! This was amazing to watch and see that it work not only in Laguna but also in the Hillz. And I don't believe that he isn't cruising these high school parties looking for poor little girls to sleep with. Get him back on this show. I want to see Cameron macking on a girl and just see Jason sweep in and steal her from him. How classic would that be. That would make my year. On a side note, my mom absolutely hates him. She might hate him more than she hated Alicia. Everytime I want to get a rise out of her I just mention his name and she goes off for 10 minutes. Eric, try it for fun. Trust me, she will not disappoint. Advantage Season 1/2
My priorities- Is it sad that my analysis for this show is at least 4 times larger than my analysis for the NFL? Hmmm. And by the way, has anyone seen "Two a Days"? I'll be talking about this show later this week.
So its pretty clear that I'm a loser, I like boobs, and I like season 1/2 better.
Aug 25, 2006
Round 2
I will now railroad my day to give you round 2 of some thoughts that I want to share with you before the weekend.
1. Saw The Descent two nights ago and it was absolutely amazing. One of the greatest horror flicks I've seen!!! Not only did I jump out of my seat at least 5 times during the movie, I peed a little when I first saw "the crawler" appear behind the one girl. And yes, I know that I'm a wuss.
2. Do I get any credit for sticking by Justin Timberlake back when it wasn't cool to like him? When Britany dumped his ass, I remember defending him and saying that it was the best thing that could of happened to him. Now look at things. I'm tired of always being a little too early on calling out people that I like. Spice Girls, Olsen Twins, Kristen and LC on Laguna, Krispy Kremes, the double stuffed taco, and yelling out "backdoor action" at the BJ table...the list goes on and on. I think I'm ready to call myself a trend setter. Speaking of which, has anyone heard that song by Fergie? London Bridge? I have no idea what she is saying or singing about, but man that is a catchy tune.
3. Had my second NFL draft last night with the boys from my old softball team. Thought I was doing well until I looked at my roster and saw that I had 2 Cleveland Browns starting. Winslow and Droughns. So Eric, I will be cheering for the Browns this year. 10-6 here we come!!!!
4. NFL Gold Lock of the Year Pick: I was openly laughing at anyone that drafted Culpepper. What makes anyone think that this guy will be any good. Take away Moss and he is worthless. WORTHLESS!!!! Since he was the cornerstone of two of my fantasy teams last year, I remember how bad he was. Take the under for Miami wins this year. I have already booked it.
5. Did Don Vito really get arrested for molesting a 12 and a 14 year old girl? Too funny.
6. Great post over at Athletics Nation about the fall of ESPN. If anything proves this article more is the lack of coverage of the Reds, Cards, Dodgers, and Padres. Reds are tied for 1st for the love of God. Jeez...
7. Had lunch with an insurance agent the other day. Really didn't want to go since he sounded old on the phone and I've been so busy at work that I didn't want to take the time to go out with him. I get there at his agency and he has a sign up stating that he has been with the company for 60 years. 60!!! He also served in WW2 and Korea as a fighter pilot. Took some time off to help train pilots to land on aircraft carriers at night in bad weather. So many fascinating stories about Europe and Korea that lunch last close to two hours. If you ever have a chance to talk to someone who served in WW2, take some time and just listen to all the amazing stories. I have set up another lunch with him next month.
8. Cats- I was going to write something nice about Carol's cats who have been visiting me for the past week, but after last nights battle, I now hate them. Tipping over cups of water, jumping on my head every hour, snoring, scratching random things, getting cat hair all over the place, and just generally unfriendly, I now don't want any cats in my place. Ugh, this should be an interesting conversation with Carol.
9. So I've been holding off writing about the A's since I don't want to gooch them, but they continue to churn out another great August. 5.5 games up with 35 games left. Loiza looking great. Bullpen holding steady even with Street out. Thomas and Bradley are awesome as our 3-4. Payton, Kendall, and Kotsay playing above average. Chavez and Swisher are trying to overcome injuries and sickness while still playing everyday. We need these two healthy asap!!!
1. Saw The Descent two nights ago and it was absolutely amazing. One of the greatest horror flicks I've seen!!! Not only did I jump out of my seat at least 5 times during the movie, I peed a little when I first saw "the crawler" appear behind the one girl. And yes, I know that I'm a wuss.
2. Do I get any credit for sticking by Justin Timberlake back when it wasn't cool to like him? When Britany dumped his ass, I remember defending him and saying that it was the best thing that could of happened to him. Now look at things. I'm tired of always being a little too early on calling out people that I like. Spice Girls, Olsen Twins, Kristen and LC on Laguna, Krispy Kremes, the double stuffed taco, and yelling out "backdoor action" at the BJ table...the list goes on and on. I think I'm ready to call myself a trend setter. Speaking of which, has anyone heard that song by Fergie? London Bridge? I have no idea what she is saying or singing about, but man that is a catchy tune.
3. Had my second NFL draft last night with the boys from my old softball team. Thought I was doing well until I looked at my roster and saw that I had 2 Cleveland Browns starting. Winslow and Droughns. So Eric, I will be cheering for the Browns this year. 10-6 here we come!!!!
4. NFL Gold Lock of the Year Pick: I was openly laughing at anyone that drafted Culpepper. What makes anyone think that this guy will be any good. Take away Moss and he is worthless. WORTHLESS!!!! Since he was the cornerstone of two of my fantasy teams last year, I remember how bad he was. Take the under for Miami wins this year. I have already booked it.
5. Did Don Vito really get arrested for molesting a 12 and a 14 year old girl? Too funny.
6. Great post over at Athletics Nation about the fall of ESPN. If anything proves this article more is the lack of coverage of the Reds, Cards, Dodgers, and Padres. Reds are tied for 1st for the love of God. Jeez...
7. Had lunch with an insurance agent the other day. Really didn't want to go since he sounded old on the phone and I've been so busy at work that I didn't want to take the time to go out with him. I get there at his agency and he has a sign up stating that he has been with the company for 60 years. 60!!! He also served in WW2 and Korea as a fighter pilot. Took some time off to help train pilots to land on aircraft carriers at night in bad weather. So many fascinating stories about Europe and Korea that lunch last close to two hours. If you ever have a chance to talk to someone who served in WW2, take some time and just listen to all the amazing stories. I have set up another lunch with him next month.
8. Cats- I was going to write something nice about Carol's cats who have been visiting me for the past week, but after last nights battle, I now hate them. Tipping over cups of water, jumping on my head every hour, snoring, scratching random things, getting cat hair all over the place, and just generally unfriendly, I now don't want any cats in my place. Ugh, this should be an interesting conversation with Carol.
9. So I've been holding off writing about the A's since I don't want to gooch them, but they continue to churn out another great August. 5.5 games up with 35 games left. Loiza looking great. Bullpen holding steady even with Street out. Thomas and Bradley are awesome as our 3-4. Payton, Kendall, and Kotsay playing above average. Chavez and Swisher are trying to overcome injuries and sickness while still playing everyday. We need these two healthy asap!!!
Aug 24, 2006
I'm back
Too long my friends...too long. I have let the evil Zahn brother take over the blog with pleasantries about golf and Browns, and I apologize on the behalf of my family about that. It will not happen again. I will bring the dark side back to the blog over the next several days. To kick it off, I have about 6 things I want to quickly comment on before Bill Simmons steals anymore of my thunder.
1. I have a wedding come up where I'm the best man. I'm thinking about starting off the speech with "So this family walks into a talent agencies office to pitch a new talent show..." just to see how many people get it. I'm not going to go into the entire joke, but just the start of it. Thoughts?
2. Speaking of the wedding, I went to OC several weeks back for the bachelor party. Great times!!! Its just amazing that our original high school crowd can not only still get along, but still have a great time, without missing a beat. I'm going to have to come back to this trip and post with pictures. Apparently there was a second camera on the miniature golf course that I did not know about that has some very revealing pictures of Curr stripping after Jon sank 3 hole in ones on the back 9 to capture the 4th miniature golf title. One of the top 10 funniest things I've ever seen.
3. Went through 3 full days of interviews with potential management employees. 5 interviews a day for 3 straight days with people that are supposed to be ready for management positions. They are recommended by their own local management and are interviewed by a person in HR, and two senior level managers (Alex and I). I'm always on these panels for some reason and here are some tips for any of you that might be interviewing in the near future on what not to do during an interview
1. I have a wedding come up where I'm the best man. I'm thinking about starting off the speech with "So this family walks into a talent agencies office to pitch a new talent show..." just to see how many people get it. I'm not going to go into the entire joke, but just the start of it. Thoughts?
2. Speaking of the wedding, I went to OC several weeks back for the bachelor party. Great times!!! Its just amazing that our original high school crowd can not only still get along, but still have a great time, without missing a beat. I'm going to have to come back to this trip and post with pictures. Apparently there was a second camera on the miniature golf course that I did not know about that has some very revealing pictures of Curr stripping after Jon sank 3 hole in ones on the back 9 to capture the 4th miniature golf title. One of the top 10 funniest things I've ever seen.
3. Went through 3 full days of interviews with potential management employees. 5 interviews a day for 3 straight days with people that are supposed to be ready for management positions. They are recommended by their own local management and are interviewed by a person in HR, and two senior level managers (Alex and I). I'm always on these panels for some reason and here are some tips for any of you that might be interviewing in the near future on what not to do during an interview
- Do not bring in a pad of paper and tell us you want to use it to write down the questions that are being asked. If you write down "Tell me about a tough negotiation", I don't want you leading anyone. You don't think we know its a stall tactic? It reminds me too much of the Spelling Bee and its very hard to recover in my book when you do this.
- If you get nervous when you interview, which is OK, please don't do your normal OCD shit like zip and unzip your briefcase 30 times in a span of 5 minutes. Honestly, it makes ME nervous watching you do this, and once again I don't want you leading any of my people. This poor kid while ziping up and down his briefcase in front of us was also bouncing his leg so fast and hard it made me and the guy next to me openly laugh. This went on for the entire interview. He did not pass.
- If you know that you sweat when you interview because you are so nervous, bring in a napkin. I would rather watch you wipe the sweat off your face than watch it trickle down and then make bets inside my head on if it will drip on the desk. This poor kid looked like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter by the 3rd question.
- Remember that you are interviewing for a job that YOU want. Don't act like it is a chore for you to be there. You are not that smart and don't make me embarrass you in front of these other two by calling out all of your bullshit responses. Remember that we hold the power on if you will be a Claim Rep for the rest of your life.
- Chewing gum!!!! Honestly, what the fuck. It pissed me off so much that this asshole was chewing gum in the interview, I almost asked him to spit it out in my hand. Then I realized I was slowly turning into my mom and I stopped.
- What are some of these managers thinking when they recommended these people. I have one guy sitting there silent for 3 minutes while thinking of a response. And then he can't even respond with a good example.
- I'm sorry but if you ramble on for 10 minutes and then stop to ask us what the question was, I would just pick up my things and leave the room immediately. Thank god Alex had the nerve to say "Lets just move one" instead of repeating it.
- When asked "Tell me about a bad decision that you made recently" don't say I have so many to pick from. Thanks for the honesty, but please....
- Do not sit there and bad mouth the company's practices in front of us. You are interviewing with your own company, not a competitor. Jesus
- PLEASE unbutton your suit when you sit. You look like a stuffed sausage.
- If you are interrupted, or here the interviewer nod his head, just shut up. You answered the question correctly. Don't go on for another 10 minutes trying to explain something that is not necessary. FUCK!! This guy we interviewed almost didn't pass, despite nailing each question at the beginning because he just rambled on after each question.
- On a positive note, if you are an attractive women, it does not hurt to smile, make eye contact, and show off a little bit of cleavage. I repeat, it does not hurt. Know your audience!!!! The HR lady was not happy with me and Alex on this one. "Oh she was outstanding", "I would hire her in a second", and "best interview yet" received the "You guys are the biggest pervs" look. Not good.
4. Old vs New Laguna! I'm sorry, I've been so busy I haven't watched it. I have set my tivo so I'm hoping to get something up this weekend on it. According to several sources, the shit is out of control. Haven't heard from my mom on this yet, so I want her input before I post.
5. NFL preview. 2 teams in each conference fall out of the playoffs. Who will they be and who will step up? Let's see:
AFC Locks: Denver, Indy, and Pittsburgh. The Pats are now like the Braves to me so I'm giving them the East. That means we will probably have two new wild card teams. I'm looking at possible candidates in the Ravens, SD, Jacksonville, and the Dolphins. Cincy will fall out due to their schedule. Browns have too many question marks, but if everything falls their way, they could be in contention. Same goes with KC. Each of the remaining teams have major issues, except for Jacksonville. And they have somewhat of an easy schedule compared to the others, but they can't make the playoffs due to my rule. I want to go with the Ravens, but this seems to be one of those "all the pressure is on McNair' situations where he finally doesn't come through and the Ravens will be starting Boller by game 8" situations. The same goes for the Dolphins and Culpepper. SD is starting Rivers and he is totally unproven, despite looking good in the preseason. So I'm clueless right now. Absolutely clueless. Shit, I just wrote that the Browns might be in the mix. OK, I'll go with the Ravens and San Diego.
NFC Locks: What the hell is happening over here??? Jesus. The South and the East look super strong and the North and the West are a joke. Two teams to drop out? Bears and Skins. Two teams to get in are Vikings and Dallas. Everything else is the same. I really like the Giants to win it all this year. Carolina's schedule scares me too much to pick them to go all the way.
6. I know a Laker girl!!!!! One of my liability supervisor's daughters is now a member of the Laker cheerleading squad. Requests and demands have been submitted to her in return for a nice hefty raise.
On that note, I'm done. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss cats and the A's.
A few thoughts....
1) One more Browns' related post... there was a post somewhere authored by an AFC North fan who did his divison preview. He ended the Browns' paragraph by saying..
"Hating the Browns is like hating a third party candidate (presidential races and CT senate races excluded)."
Wow, one sentence that links the Browns and politics! Right up our alley!
Should I be offended by this analogy?
2) Played golf yesterday with a friend from Iowa who is in town... got out of the car, no warmups, went right to the first tee....
... and one beer and 3 vodka-tonics later, I shot 71, with 6 birdies.
Maybe I care too much. I should just take two shots of vodka before a torunament and show up 10 minutes before my tee time. And, as Don said, it's illegal to drink in tournament events DURING the event, but not before!
3) Who are these people that take a piss at the urinal and pull their pants halfway down their legs at the urinal? Gees - no need to unbuckle the belt, huh? Isn't that why zippers were made?
"Hating the Browns is like hating a third party candidate (presidential races and CT senate races excluded)."
Wow, one sentence that links the Browns and politics! Right up our alley!
Should I be offended by this analogy?
2) Played golf yesterday with a friend from Iowa who is in town... got out of the car, no warmups, went right to the first tee....
... and one beer and 3 vodka-tonics later, I shot 71, with 6 birdies.
Maybe I care too much. I should just take two shots of vodka before a torunament and show up 10 minutes before my tee time. And, as Don said, it's illegal to drink in tournament events DURING the event, but not before!
3) Who are these people that take a piss at the urinal and pull their pants halfway down their legs at the urinal? Gees - no need to unbuckle the belt, huh? Isn't that why zippers were made?
Aug 21, 2006
2006 Cleveland Browns Preview
Here is a sample of the thoughts running through my head the past week concerning the 2006 Cleveland Browns. This is in the form of a one-act play, with two characters: Happy-Go-Lucky, Optimistic Eric (OE), and Pessimistic, Cynical Eric (CE).
*scene: mowing the grass on Sunday. The voices in my head start up....*
CE: I see Mr. Head-in-the-Clouds predicted an 8-8 season this year.
OE: Well, sure! If the youngsters progress and the veterans gel, it is certainly possible. And we are better at every position!
CE: Let's go through those positions, then. Starting with QB?
OE: You have to admit Frye is better than Dilfer.
CE: Yes, that's like saying wine is better to drink than vinegar. And besides, weren't you all hyped up about Dilfer last year?
OE: Oh shut up. Frye is a leader and won games down the stretch last year through his determination.
CE: Sure, he has that, but there are serious holes in his game now. Like the deep ball. His deep passes make Tim Couch look like Joe Montana.
OE: Well, they say he's been working on that in camp.
CE: And in the games? that interception vs. the Lions was a duck. 8-11 for 41 yards means no deep balls are thrown.
OE: But he can lead. And I have faith in him, if the line holds up.
CE: If HE holds up. We have no backup, in case you didn't notice.
OE: Ken Dorsey is OK. And Lang Campbell has looked good.
CE: Lang who? Ted Lange?
OE: Lang Campbell, a rookie.
CE: What school did he go to?
OE: William and Mary.
CE: I rest my case.
(pause)
CE: Who is our center today, anyway? Willard Scott? Is he available? Did Al Roker get his stomach unstapled so he could play center?
OE: Oh shut up. Ross Smith looked pretty good at center. The line, while not great, is better than last year. Shaffer is better than L J Shelton. Ryan Tucker will be ready for opening day. Jeff Faine, last year's center disaster, is not here .
CE: Yeah, he's with the Saints. Can anyone say "110 yards, 2 TD" for McAllister in week 1?
OE: The line of Shaffer, Coleman, Ross Smith/Ephraim, Andruzzi, and Tucker is not bad, not bad at all.
CE: But we have no depth there. None. If anyone goes down, it's Nat Dorsey
OE: Yeah, that's not good.
CE: Did you see that play in Philly? Nat Dorsey let the end get by him, and as Nat was struggling to recover, he fell on top of our quarterback. Nice job there, Nat.
OE: Should have never let those good Maryland offensive linemen like Melvin Fowler go.
CE: Running backs?
OE: Droughns is back and looking good, and we have the best fullback in football, Terrelle Smith, in front of him.
CE: He's so overrated. When push came to shove, he got shoved. Remember Oakland?
OE: unfortunately, I do.
CE: 1st and goal at the 2 - four straight runs for the Browns, did not get in each time. A premier fullback makes the holes for the touchdowns.
OE: Still, Reuben did get 1000 yards last year - a first for the Browns in 20 years.
CE: That and $3.50 will get you a cup from Starbucks.
(pause)
OE: Well, Charlie has weapons in the receiving core, finally. Kellen - the Souljah - looks good and he is ready to shock the world!
CE: Oh stop that. You sound like Vanilla Ice. And besides, you didn't put your money where your mouth is.
OE: Huh?
CE: You just bought a jersey, right?
OE: Yeah...
CE: So, if you believe in Winslow so much, did you buy a #80 jersey?
OE: Well, no, I bought a Frye jersey.
CE: You're a racist! Why not a Winslow jersey?
OE: Well, I don't know if he gave up the motorcycle....
CE: Or Braylon? Why not a Braylon jersey?
OE: He's not keeping the #17 forver, is he? What is he, Jim Jensen? And besides, I have a Willie Green jersey in my closet!
CE: Your brother bought that for you. The last African-American player's jersey that you bought was Eric Metcalf.
OE: Hey, I'm diverse! I have a homosexual player's jersey in my closet!
CE: What?
OE: Yes - My Jeff Garcia jersey from 2 years back!
(lots of rolling of eyes)
CE: On to the receivers. Braylon, Jurevicius, and Northcutt. That's the plan, huh?
OE: Jurevicius is better than the inconsistent Bryant. Braylon will be a star.
CE: He's coming off of an ACL injury. That's not good.
OE: Assuming he's ok, then we have a good starting 2, with Northcutt behind him.
CE: You mean Dropcutt? Those three are average.
OE: I think, by the end of the year, they will be in the top 12 of the league.
(pause)
OE: I bet you are going to try to say something negative about the defense.
CE: It is our strongest area. Let's look at the line first.
OE: Ted Washington has looked great for us at Nose Tackle. He is a force to be reckoned with.
CE: Compared to last year, an anthill would look tougher than Jason Fisk. And Ted is, what, 67 years old?
OE: 38, but he's a young 38.
CE: And soon to be an injured 38.
OE: He clogs up the middle to let the ends and the linebackers make plays. And our ends- Roye and McKinley - are solid. Now they - and the linebackers - can do damage with the attention on Washington.
CE: I don't know about solid, but adequate is a good description. Remember - not much of a pass rush last year with the same guys...
OE: Except now we have Washington instead of an airport runway. It's completely different. And speaking of different, how about the linebackers. What a change. Willie McGinest on the outside...
CE: Who? Has he played yet?
OE: No, but Romeo has said he'll be ready for week 1. McGinest and the rookie, Wimbley, on the outside will make their presence known. It's already better than last year's tandem of Matt Stewart and Mr. West-Texas-A&M, Chaun Thompson.
CE: Another busted Butch draft pick? Say it ain't so! But you are still pinning your hopes on a rookie in an important position in the 3-4 defense, the linebacker. Wimbley has skills, yes, but it will take time to learn the defense.
OE: Wimbley has looked awesome in the preseason!
CE: What's the Vegas line on the season-ending injury for the Browns' #1 draft pick? I hear Imperial Palace has it at week 6.5.
OE: Just stop. Can't I believe, just once, that a rookie will stay with us the whole year?
CE: And who was the last rookie to do that?
OE: (thinking.....) Tommy Vardell??
CE: Ugh.
OE: Well, we have two rookies at LB. Inside it looks like the young Terp D'Quell Jackson will start alongside Andra Davis.
CE: Even Leland can't say too many bad things about DQ. However, again, this is the question of youth. Two rookie starting linebackers in a 3-4? You really want to put stock in this?
OE: It's much better than Thompson and Stewart last year. And the corners are going to be great. Bodden and Baxter are studs. Bodden actually got Chad Johnson to shut up last year, and forced Chad to put a check mark in the "yes" box on Chad's "can they cover me?" whiteboard.
CE: That was great. However, what about the other corner..Gary.... Gary.... GAry who?
OE: Just stop.
CE: This is now season 2 of injuries with Baxter. A strained pec?
OE: He'll be ready for week 1.
CE: And when will he go out again?
OE: But we have depth in McCutcheon!
CE: He's proven to be undersized. A good backup, an average starter.
OE: Bodden to the Pro Bowl. Book it.
CE: But what about the secondary? Two youngsters out there? An average Matt Russell to float around?
OE: Sean Jones will be good. He and Brodney Pool - 2 second-year guys - will be fighting it out alongside Russell. Both are better than last year's starter, Chris Crocker.
CE: I agree, but these are two youngsters again. I'm a little wary.
OE: All in all, this defense can be good. Not 2000 Ravens good, but a solid defense that will hold teams to minimal points. Last year - remember? We held the Colts to 13 points...
CE: loss
OE: The Bengals - at home - to 23..
CE: loss
OE: The Raiders to 7...
CE: OK, that doesn't count.
OE: The Lions to 13, the Bears to 10, the Ravens under 20 twice
CE: Oh yes, all compare nicely to the 1984 Dolphins...
OE: Last year, we were 16th in yards per game, 11th in scoring defense, just behind the vaunted Baltimore defense. And we will be better this year.
CE: I agree, we will be better. Even I may think about drafting the Browns defense in a fantasy league.
OE: As a starter?
CE: No, as the second string.
OE: Special teams are solid. Dawson is a good kicker...
CE: I agree. Not enough credit for Phil...
OE: And our punting situation is hopefully solved.
CE: No more Mr. Coffin Corner Derrick Frost, or overrated Kyle Richardson. Let's hope Zastudil punts as well with us as he did with the Ravens.
OE: And Northcutt to return punts...
CE: So what? We have to eliminate the flags on the returns! Last year,we had 9 return touchdowns called back due to penalties!
OE: It was just 2, but....
CE: And one already this year in preseason.
OE: Romeo will fix that.
CE: When?
OE: All in all, the defense is solid and could be very good; if the offense comes together, if Frye keeps developing, if Braylon comes back healthy, and if we avoid any more injuries on the OL, then this team could even go 10-6.
CE: If, If, If..... As Kermit would say:
If "Ifs" and "Buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.
6-10, with the usual Browns' luck this season.
*scene: mowing the grass on Sunday. The voices in my head start up....*
CE: I see Mr. Head-in-the-Clouds predicted an 8-8 season this year.
OE: Well, sure! If the youngsters progress and the veterans gel, it is certainly possible. And we are better at every position!
CE: Let's go through those positions, then. Starting with QB?
OE: You have to admit Frye is better than Dilfer.
CE: Yes, that's like saying wine is better to drink than vinegar. And besides, weren't you all hyped up about Dilfer last year?
OE: Oh shut up. Frye is a leader and won games down the stretch last year through his determination.
CE: Sure, he has that, but there are serious holes in his game now. Like the deep ball. His deep passes make Tim Couch look like Joe Montana.
OE: Well, they say he's been working on that in camp.
CE: And in the games? that interception vs. the Lions was a duck. 8-11 for 41 yards means no deep balls are thrown.
OE: But he can lead. And I have faith in him, if the line holds up.
CE: If HE holds up. We have no backup, in case you didn't notice.
OE: Ken Dorsey is OK. And Lang Campbell has looked good.
CE: Lang who? Ted Lange?
OE: Lang Campbell, a rookie.
CE: What school did he go to?
OE: William and Mary.
CE: I rest my case.
(pause)
CE: Who is our center today, anyway? Willard Scott? Is he available? Did Al Roker get his stomach unstapled so he could play center?
OE: Oh shut up. Ross Smith looked pretty good at center. The line, while not great, is better than last year. Shaffer is better than L J Shelton. Ryan Tucker will be ready for opening day. Jeff Faine, last year's center disaster, is not here .
CE: Yeah, he's with the Saints. Can anyone say "110 yards, 2 TD" for McAllister in week 1?
OE: The line of Shaffer, Coleman, Ross Smith/Ephraim, Andruzzi, and Tucker is not bad, not bad at all.
CE: But we have no depth there. None. If anyone goes down, it's Nat Dorsey
OE: Yeah, that's not good.
CE: Did you see that play in Philly? Nat Dorsey let the end get by him, and as Nat was struggling to recover, he fell on top of our quarterback. Nice job there, Nat.
OE: Should have never let those good Maryland offensive linemen like Melvin Fowler go.
CE: Running backs?
OE: Droughns is back and looking good, and we have the best fullback in football, Terrelle Smith, in front of him.
CE: He's so overrated. When push came to shove, he got shoved. Remember Oakland?
OE: unfortunately, I do.
CE: 1st and goal at the 2 - four straight runs for the Browns, did not get in each time. A premier fullback makes the holes for the touchdowns.
OE: Still, Reuben did get 1000 yards last year - a first for the Browns in 20 years.
CE: That and $3.50 will get you a cup from Starbucks.
(pause)
OE: Well, Charlie has weapons in the receiving core, finally. Kellen - the Souljah - looks good and he is ready to shock the world!
CE: Oh stop that. You sound like Vanilla Ice. And besides, you didn't put your money where your mouth is.
OE: Huh?
CE: You just bought a jersey, right?
OE: Yeah...
CE: So, if you believe in Winslow so much, did you buy a #80 jersey?
OE: Well, no, I bought a Frye jersey.
CE: You're a racist! Why not a Winslow jersey?
OE: Well, I don't know if he gave up the motorcycle....
CE: Or Braylon? Why not a Braylon jersey?
OE: He's not keeping the #17 forver, is he? What is he, Jim Jensen? And besides, I have a Willie Green jersey in my closet!
CE: Your brother bought that for you. The last African-American player's jersey that you bought was Eric Metcalf.
OE: Hey, I'm diverse! I have a homosexual player's jersey in my closet!
CE: What?
OE: Yes - My Jeff Garcia jersey from 2 years back!
(lots of rolling of eyes)
CE: On to the receivers. Braylon, Jurevicius, and Northcutt. That's the plan, huh?
OE: Jurevicius is better than the inconsistent Bryant. Braylon will be a star.
CE: He's coming off of an ACL injury. That's not good.
OE: Assuming he's ok, then we have a good starting 2, with Northcutt behind him.
CE: You mean Dropcutt? Those three are average.
OE: I think, by the end of the year, they will be in the top 12 of the league.
(pause)
OE: I bet you are going to try to say something negative about the defense.
CE: It is our strongest area. Let's look at the line first.
OE: Ted Washington has looked great for us at Nose Tackle. He is a force to be reckoned with.
CE: Compared to last year, an anthill would look tougher than Jason Fisk. And Ted is, what, 67 years old?
OE: 38, but he's a young 38.
CE: And soon to be an injured 38.
OE: He clogs up the middle to let the ends and the linebackers make plays. And our ends- Roye and McKinley - are solid. Now they - and the linebackers - can do damage with the attention on Washington.
CE: I don't know about solid, but adequate is a good description. Remember - not much of a pass rush last year with the same guys...
OE: Except now we have Washington instead of an airport runway. It's completely different. And speaking of different, how about the linebackers. What a change. Willie McGinest on the outside...
CE: Who? Has he played yet?
OE: No, but Romeo has said he'll be ready for week 1. McGinest and the rookie, Wimbley, on the outside will make their presence known. It's already better than last year's tandem of Matt Stewart and Mr. West-Texas-A&M, Chaun Thompson.
CE: Another busted Butch draft pick? Say it ain't so! But you are still pinning your hopes on a rookie in an important position in the 3-4 defense, the linebacker. Wimbley has skills, yes, but it will take time to learn the defense.
OE: Wimbley has looked awesome in the preseason!
CE: What's the Vegas line on the season-ending injury for the Browns' #1 draft pick? I hear Imperial Palace has it at week 6.5.
OE: Just stop. Can't I believe, just once, that a rookie will stay with us the whole year?
CE: And who was the last rookie to do that?
OE: (thinking.....) Tommy Vardell??
CE: Ugh.
OE: Well, we have two rookies at LB. Inside it looks like the young Terp D'Quell Jackson will start alongside Andra Davis.
CE: Even Leland can't say too many bad things about DQ. However, again, this is the question of youth. Two rookie starting linebackers in a 3-4? You really want to put stock in this?
OE: It's much better than Thompson and Stewart last year. And the corners are going to be great. Bodden and Baxter are studs. Bodden actually got Chad Johnson to shut up last year, and forced Chad to put a check mark in the "yes" box on Chad's "can they cover me?" whiteboard.
CE: That was great. However, what about the other corner..Gary.... Gary.... GAry who?
OE: Just stop.
CE: This is now season 2 of injuries with Baxter. A strained pec?
OE: He'll be ready for week 1.
CE: And when will he go out again?
OE: But we have depth in McCutcheon!
CE: He's proven to be undersized. A good backup, an average starter.
OE: Bodden to the Pro Bowl. Book it.
CE: But what about the secondary? Two youngsters out there? An average Matt Russell to float around?
OE: Sean Jones will be good. He and Brodney Pool - 2 second-year guys - will be fighting it out alongside Russell. Both are better than last year's starter, Chris Crocker.
CE: I agree, but these are two youngsters again. I'm a little wary.
OE: All in all, this defense can be good. Not 2000 Ravens good, but a solid defense that will hold teams to minimal points. Last year - remember? We held the Colts to 13 points...
CE: loss
OE: The Bengals - at home - to 23..
CE: loss
OE: The Raiders to 7...
CE: OK, that doesn't count.
OE: The Lions to 13, the Bears to 10, the Ravens under 20 twice
CE: Oh yes, all compare nicely to the 1984 Dolphins...
OE: Last year, we were 16th in yards per game, 11th in scoring defense, just behind the vaunted Baltimore defense. And we will be better this year.
CE: I agree, we will be better. Even I may think about drafting the Browns defense in a fantasy league.
OE: As a starter?
CE: No, as the second string.
OE: Special teams are solid. Dawson is a good kicker...
CE: I agree. Not enough credit for Phil...
OE: And our punting situation is hopefully solved.
CE: No more Mr. Coffin Corner Derrick Frost, or overrated Kyle Richardson. Let's hope Zastudil punts as well with us as he did with the Ravens.
OE: And Northcutt to return punts...
CE: So what? We have to eliminate the flags on the returns! Last year,we had 9 return touchdowns called back due to penalties!
OE: It was just 2, but....
CE: And one already this year in preseason.
OE: Romeo will fix that.
CE: When?
OE: All in all, the defense is solid and could be very good; if the offense comes together, if Frye keeps developing, if Braylon comes back healthy, and if we avoid any more injuries on the OL, then this team could even go 10-6.
CE: If, If, If..... As Kermit would say:
If "Ifs" and "Buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.
6-10, with the usual Browns' luck this season.
Aug 20, 2006
Ryder Cup Blogging
Well, 10 of the 12 spots for the US Ryder Cup team are all set. Six are Ryder Cup veterans:
Tiger Woods
Phil Mickelson
Jim Furyk
David Toms
Chad Campbell
Chris DiMarco
along with four - FOUR - rookies:
J J Henry
Brett Wetterich
Zach Johnson
Vaughn Taylor
Yikes. Out of the four rookies, no one - MAYBE Zach - strikes any fear into the hearts of the Europeans.
Lehman will announce his 2 captain picks on Monday. I think Davis Love III is a lock for one of them. Who will be the second? Tim Herron? Stewart Cink? Corey Pavin?
I'm rooting for Fred Funk. I think he will be a key player on a shortened K Club course (Europe's captain, Ian Woosnam, has already said he will set up the course to negate the American's length advantage) - and Funk won't be affected by it. Also, he'd be a great veteran presence on this team.
I can't argue if it's Pavin, however.
Tiger Woods
Phil Mickelson
Jim Furyk
David Toms
Chad Campbell
Chris DiMarco
along with four - FOUR - rookies:
J J Henry
Brett Wetterich
Zach Johnson
Vaughn Taylor
Yikes. Out of the four rookies, no one - MAYBE Zach - strikes any fear into the hearts of the Europeans.
Lehman will announce his 2 captain picks on Monday. I think Davis Love III is a lock for one of them. Who will be the second? Tim Herron? Stewart Cink? Corey Pavin?
I'm rooting for Fred Funk. I think he will be a key player on a shortened K Club course (Europe's captain, Ian Woosnam, has already said he will set up the course to negate the American's length advantage) - and Funk won't be affected by it. Also, he'd be a great veteran presence on this team.
I can't argue if it's Pavin, however.
Aug 16, 2006
NFL Team Predictions
OK, time to post predictions for NFL teams.
Every team in the NFL has a similar schedule:
a) 6 games within the team's division
b) 4 games vs. another division in the same conference
c) 4 games vs. another division in the other conference
d) 2 games vs. team in the same conference based on last year's record; a team that finished in first (like Cincy) would play two division winners (NE and IND), while a team that finished 3rd (Bal) would play two teams who finished 3rd (Buf and Ten).
So, let's look at the Browns' schedule. Please note, this assumes that we will have a center on opening day. We now have lost 3 centers for various reasons (season-ending injury, retirement, and now drug charges), so this assumption may not be valid on Sept 10th.
a) Division games: Last year, we were 1-5. I do believe that we have grown enough to get 2 wins in the division this year. I see a win vs Bal at home and a win vs. Cincy (either away or at home). Even with my rose-colored glasses, I don't see a Pit win in store for us this season.
b) 4 games vs. division in the AFC: The AFC West.
The Browns got screwed here, playing the weaker teams on the road and the tougher teams at home:
@ Oak, @ SD
h KC, h Den
I think that they will beat Oakland (Charlie beat them last year at Oakland), and will have a chance at beating San Diego (I'm not sold on Phillip rivers) and may steal a home game vs. Den or KC.
I'll give them two wins here. 2-2.
c) 4 games vs. division in the other conference: The NFC South.
Browns get:
h NO, h TB
@ Atl, @ Car
I like what New Orleans is doing and think that they could be a force down the line, and I'm glad I'm playing Reggie Bush now instead of 2 years from now when he blossoms. I'm glad we get them in the opener before they start to jell. Let's just say if that the Browns lose on Sept 10th, I will be massively depressed.
Can we get another win? I have no illusions about Carolina; the early line on that game is probably Car -12 1/2. I do think we have a decent shot at an overrated Atlanta team - we do fairly well stopping the run, and Atlanta can't pass with Vick. Barring a Matt Schaub appearance, I say we steal this one.
2-2 here.
4) Conference games vs "like" teams:
h NYJ
@ Hou
Well, we certainly should beat the Jets at home. But 2006 could shape up like 2005, in terms of inferior opponents for teh Browns. The Jets' schedule :
@ Ten, NE, @Buf, Ind, @ Jax, Mia, Det.....
they could go 0-7 for that stretch.
And then they come to Cleveland.
Last year, of course, the Texans went 0-6 until they played... the Browns. And the texans won an UGLY game for their first win.
Could history repeat itself? It could, but I say no. We win that one in a squeaker, 13-9.
And we go to Houston for the last game of the season and win that, too.
2-0 for these games.
Where did we end up?
2-4
2-2
2-2
2-0
ends us up with an overall record of 8-8 for the Browns.
Every team in the NFL has a similar schedule:
a) 6 games within the team's division
b) 4 games vs. another division in the same conference
c) 4 games vs. another division in the other conference
d) 2 games vs. team in the same conference based on last year's record; a team that finished in first (like Cincy) would play two division winners (NE and IND), while a team that finished 3rd (Bal) would play two teams who finished 3rd (Buf and Ten).
So, let's look at the Browns' schedule. Please note, this assumes that we will have a center on opening day. We now have lost 3 centers for various reasons (season-ending injury, retirement, and now drug charges), so this assumption may not be valid on Sept 10th.
a) Division games: Last year, we were 1-5. I do believe that we have grown enough to get 2 wins in the division this year. I see a win vs Bal at home and a win vs. Cincy (either away or at home). Even with my rose-colored glasses, I don't see a Pit win in store for us this season.
b) 4 games vs. division in the AFC: The AFC West.
The Browns got screwed here, playing the weaker teams on the road and the tougher teams at home:
@ Oak, @ SD
h KC, h Den
I think that they will beat Oakland (Charlie beat them last year at Oakland), and will have a chance at beating San Diego (I'm not sold on Phillip rivers) and may steal a home game vs. Den or KC.
I'll give them two wins here. 2-2.
c) 4 games vs. division in the other conference: The NFC South.
Browns get:
h NO, h TB
@ Atl, @ Car
I like what New Orleans is doing and think that they could be a force down the line, and I'm glad I'm playing Reggie Bush now instead of 2 years from now when he blossoms. I'm glad we get them in the opener before they start to jell. Let's just say if that the Browns lose on Sept 10th, I will be massively depressed.
Can we get another win? I have no illusions about Carolina; the early line on that game is probably Car -12 1/2. I do think we have a decent shot at an overrated Atlanta team - we do fairly well stopping the run, and Atlanta can't pass with Vick. Barring a Matt Schaub appearance, I say we steal this one.
2-2 here.
4) Conference games vs "like" teams:
h NYJ
@ Hou
Well, we certainly should beat the Jets at home. But 2006 could shape up like 2005, in terms of inferior opponents for teh Browns. The Jets' schedule :
@ Ten, NE, @Buf, Ind, @ Jax, Mia, Det.....
they could go 0-7 for that stretch.
And then they come to Cleveland.
Last year, of course, the Texans went 0-6 until they played... the Browns. And the texans won an UGLY game for their first win.
Could history repeat itself? It could, but I say no. We win that one in a squeaker, 13-9.
And we go to Houston for the last game of the season and win that, too.
2-0 for these games.
Where did we end up?
2-4
2-2
2-2
2-0
ends us up with an overall record of 8-8 for the Browns.
Aug 11, 2006
This weekend
It has been so crazy over the past several weeks that I haven't had a chance to blog. So tomorrow morning after my run, I'm going to Starbucks and post about these items:
- How much I hate Starbucks
- Jon's bachelor party weekend in Ocean City (no naked pictures of Curr will be posted)
- Athletics Nation vs. Halo Haven blog battle (it is nerdier than it sounds)
- Ben's married chick from Cleveland who has become way to comfortable in my living room
- NFL predictions (I know that Eric is dying for this one)
- New Laguna Beach vs. Old Laguna Beach
Aug 9, 2006
Social Studies Assignment for Wednesday
Lot of new posts here today - and more to come, I believe.
Here is a Social Studies assignment for today:
Background: I pulled into the parking lot at work today to see the person in front of me getting out of his car and putting up a windshield visor. (You know - a windshield visor, something you put inside your car to prevent the sun from coming in through the front windshield. Is that what they are called?)
The visor had logos of different casinos from Vegas on it! However, on a closer look, it was only logos from the "Coast Casinos" group. Apparently, there are four casinos in this casino corporation. All four logos were present on the visor; the logos were from:
- Gold Coast Casino
- Suncoast Casino
- Barbary Coast Casino
- and, of course, The Orleans.
Assignment: Please provide a physical description of the owner of the car and the visor. As a bonus, please provide the make and model of the car the person was driving.
Here is a Social Studies assignment for today:
Background: I pulled into the parking lot at work today to see the person in front of me getting out of his car and putting up a windshield visor. (You know - a windshield visor, something you put inside your car to prevent the sun from coming in through the front windshield. Is that what they are called?)
The visor had logos of different casinos from Vegas on it! However, on a closer look, it was only logos from the "Coast Casinos" group. Apparently, there are four casinos in this casino corporation. All four logos were present on the visor; the logos were from:
- Gold Coast Casino
- Suncoast Casino
- Barbary Coast Casino
- and, of course, The Orleans.
Assignment: Please provide a physical description of the owner of the car and the visor. As a bonus, please provide the make and model of the car the person was driving.
Browns update
When our Pro Bowl center, LeCharles Bentley, went down in trainig camp 2 weeks ago and was lost for the season, I wrote:
The productivity of our offensive line is now in the hands of.... Bob Hallen!?!?
Well, I may have to revisit that.
Bob Hallen has left camp, considering retirement.
Anybody know a center who's looking for a job? Call Phil Savage in Berea immediately.
The productivity of our offensive line is now in the hands of.... Bob Hallen!?!?
Well, I may have to revisit that.
Bob Hallen has left camp, considering retirement.
Anybody know a center who's looking for a job? Call Phil Savage in Berea immediately.
Aug 8, 2006
Election Blogging
Some people may know that I am an election junkie; coming up this fall will be an on-going preview of the 2006 elections.
Tonight, however, could be a historic election in its own right. The Joe Lieberman-Ned Lamont primary battle ended today; results should be in shortly.
Basically, the Democratic party may be ready to dump an incumbent Senator who was their Vice-Presidential nominee just 6 years ago in favor of a political newcomer. The reason is solely for the Senator's stance on the Iraq War.
I'm not saying it is right or wrong - it is just fascinating to see a possible realignment of a political party in real time as it occurs. For the record, I applaud the effort to give voters more choices, and find the argument that no one should oppose the Senator because he is an incumbent as absurd.
As of now, it is Lamont 51.7%, Lieberman 48.3%, with about 70% of the precincts reporting. Stay tuned.
Tonight, however, could be a historic election in its own right. The Joe Lieberman-Ned Lamont primary battle ended today; results should be in shortly.
Basically, the Democratic party may be ready to dump an incumbent Senator who was their Vice-Presidential nominee just 6 years ago in favor of a political newcomer. The reason is solely for the Senator's stance on the Iraq War.
I'm not saying it is right or wrong - it is just fascinating to see a possible realignment of a political party in real time as it occurs. For the record, I applaud the effort to give voters more choices, and find the argument that no one should oppose the Senator because he is an incumbent as absurd.
As of now, it is Lamont 51.7%, Lieberman 48.3%, with about 70% of the precincts reporting. Stay tuned.
Golf updates (and other stuff)
Sorry for the non-blogging for a while. Two big golf tournaments over the past few days. Let me try to recap:
1) Last week was the Ohio Public Golfer's Tournament at Apple Valley GC in Mt Vernon. I shot a mediocre 79-77-76 for a 232 (+16), missing the cut for the 4th round by a few strokes. I finished 80th or so out of 240 that started.
I made one birdie in 54 holes, with 6 3-putts (some were 60 footers from the fringe) in the first 27 holes. Couldn't make anything.
The highlight of the tourney came in the 2nd round on my last 9, when I was fighting to make the cut after 36 holes. It was set at 156; I knew I needed a 38 on my last nine (the front nine) to make the cut.
We were playing with a high schooler who could bomb the ball but had no short game whatsoever. He shot 89 the first day, and 5-putted the 11th on the 2nd day. We come to the 5th hole, our 14th, a 140 yard par 3 over water. He pulls out a driver - yes, a driver - and half-swings it. It goes into some trees on the right, and kicks out but rests up against the retaining wall for the hazard. Two whiffs later, he elects to go back and drop; he thins the drop over the green into the trees behind the green; he makes an 11 and withdraws. He loses my card in the process. Classic high-school immaturity.
Another guy we played with was a college golfer at Cedarville. Here was his card for the final nine:
Par 445 435 344 - 36
Score 434 254 235 - 32
A double and a bogey, and still shoots 32. Amazing.
2) Then yesterday was the US Mid-Am Qualifier at TPC at River's Bend here in Cincinnati. Course was set up at 7200 yards, with almost all pins tucked. 95 people fighting for 5 spots that will go to the national event.
Don and I talked beforehand that 73 or 74 may be good enough to make it - a perfect scenario for a grinder like me. Well, after a bogey on 1, a 3-putt bogey on 2, a bogey with a wedge from the rough on 4, and a double on a par 5 (no penalties), I was +5 after 6. A birdie and a bogey later, I made the turn in 41.
But I was convinced the course was playing even tougher than we thought, and I remarked to my caddy that "hey, shoot 34 this nine, and we may have a shot".
I started with a 9 iron to 8 feet on 10, made the putt for birdie; I got screwed on 11 witha good approach but still made par. I had to shoot at a tucked pin on 12 and made bogey.
The next three holes were par 4's of 430, 465 and 470. I parred 13, shot for the pin on 14 and made bogey, and made a great par on 15. I bogeyed 17 - again, shooting at the pin - but birdied the easy par 5 18. 41-37= 78. I felt pretty good as I left the green - played very well on the back nine, shooting 37 on a tough nine.
Then I saw the scores. There were many withdrawals out there. I saw nothing but 80s on a couple of pages of the leaderboard. With about 40% of the scores in, I was in 4th place.
My heart sank, and I felt sick. Dammit, why did I waste all those strokes on the first 6 holes?
I ended up in 13th, 2 shots out of a playoff for the 5th spot. Last year, in Chicago, I finished 2 out of the last spot as well (with a double on 3).
One of these years, I will make a USGA national event. I'll keep plugging.
(One of Derek's co-workers was in the Columbus qualifier today. If the results are good, I will post).
Other topics:
1) How many fantasy football leagues are too many? I'm going for 3 competitive leagues this year - 3 leagues that are serious and require a lot of attention. Too much? Not enough? I think this is about right.
2) Went to the Ohio State Fair this weekend. That is a fascinating place for people-watching. What an amazing amalgam of hoi polloi. Every section of society was represented there. Too many obscene/random/weird t-shirt slogans to mention. A Tim Couch jersey was spotted.
We were in the cake exhibit (don't ask - purely Janice's idea) and there was a contest for the "ugliest" cake decoration. Some cakes were decorated like a garbage can, complete with the rats; others were decorated as a sewer.
One cake in this category was a well-designed, colorful cake; it was a blue cake with yellow trim. There was one letter onthe top of the cake - a neatly designed letter "M".
I'm sure this cake will be the winner of the ugliest cake contest.
3) What the hell is Final Fu?
4) I'm now addicted to Project Runway. And, thanks to Instapundit, here is an unofficial Project Runway blog that skewers everybody (even my girl Bonnie! I was sad to see her go.)
1) Last week was the Ohio Public Golfer's Tournament at Apple Valley GC in Mt Vernon. I shot a mediocre 79-77-76 for a 232 (+16), missing the cut for the 4th round by a few strokes. I finished 80th or so out of 240 that started.
I made one birdie in 54 holes, with 6 3-putts (some were 60 footers from the fringe) in the first 27 holes. Couldn't make anything.
The highlight of the tourney came in the 2nd round on my last 9, when I was fighting to make the cut after 36 holes. It was set at 156; I knew I needed a 38 on my last nine (the front nine) to make the cut.
We were playing with a high schooler who could bomb the ball but had no short game whatsoever. He shot 89 the first day, and 5-putted the 11th on the 2nd day. We come to the 5th hole, our 14th, a 140 yard par 3 over water. He pulls out a driver - yes, a driver - and half-swings it. It goes into some trees on the right, and kicks out but rests up against the retaining wall for the hazard. Two whiffs later, he elects to go back and drop; he thins the drop over the green into the trees behind the green; he makes an 11 and withdraws. He loses my card in the process. Classic high-school immaturity.
Another guy we played with was a college golfer at Cedarville. Here was his card for the final nine:
Par 445 435 344 - 36
Score 434 254 235 - 32
A double and a bogey, and still shoots 32. Amazing.
2) Then yesterday was the US Mid-Am Qualifier at TPC at River's Bend here in Cincinnati. Course was set up at 7200 yards, with almost all pins tucked. 95 people fighting for 5 spots that will go to the national event.
Don and I talked beforehand that 73 or 74 may be good enough to make it - a perfect scenario for a grinder like me. Well, after a bogey on 1, a 3-putt bogey on 2, a bogey with a wedge from the rough on 4, and a double on a par 5 (no penalties), I was +5 after 6. A birdie and a bogey later, I made the turn in 41.
But I was convinced the course was playing even tougher than we thought, and I remarked to my caddy that "hey, shoot 34 this nine, and we may have a shot".
I started with a 9 iron to 8 feet on 10, made the putt for birdie; I got screwed on 11 witha good approach but still made par. I had to shoot at a tucked pin on 12 and made bogey.
The next three holes were par 4's of 430, 465 and 470. I parred 13, shot for the pin on 14 and made bogey, and made a great par on 15. I bogeyed 17 - again, shooting at the pin - but birdied the easy par 5 18. 41-37= 78. I felt pretty good as I left the green - played very well on the back nine, shooting 37 on a tough nine.
Then I saw the scores. There were many withdrawals out there. I saw nothing but 80s on a couple of pages of the leaderboard. With about 40% of the scores in, I was in 4th place.
My heart sank, and I felt sick. Dammit, why did I waste all those strokes on the first 6 holes?
I ended up in 13th, 2 shots out of a playoff for the 5th spot. Last year, in Chicago, I finished 2 out of the last spot as well (with a double on 3).
One of these years, I will make a USGA national event. I'll keep plugging.
(One of Derek's co-workers was in the Columbus qualifier today. If the results are good, I will post).
Other topics:
1) How many fantasy football leagues are too many? I'm going for 3 competitive leagues this year - 3 leagues that are serious and require a lot of attention. Too much? Not enough? I think this is about right.
2) Went to the Ohio State Fair this weekend. That is a fascinating place for people-watching. What an amazing amalgam of hoi polloi. Every section of society was represented there. Too many obscene/random/weird t-shirt slogans to mention. A Tim Couch jersey was spotted.
We were in the cake exhibit (don't ask - purely Janice's idea) and there was a contest for the "ugliest" cake decoration. Some cakes were decorated like a garbage can, complete with the rats; others were decorated as a sewer.
One cake in this category was a well-designed, colorful cake; it was a blue cake with yellow trim. There was one letter onthe top of the cake - a neatly designed letter "M".
I'm sure this cake will be the winner of the ugliest cake contest.
3) What the hell is Final Fu?
4) I'm now addicted to Project Runway. And, thanks to Instapundit, here is an unofficial Project Runway blog that skewers everybody (even my girl Bonnie! I was sad to see her go.)
Aug 1, 2006
Crazy People
This is the shit that I have to put up with everyday. This is one of our insureds who claims that his vehicle was stolen and then in an accident. Well the accident happened close to the border, so we decided to check the logs from the border patrol to see if his car crossed the border. Well it did, and his name and ID was checked and copied due to some issues at the border, during the time he stated that the car was stolen. We were planning to deny his claim due to fraud but he never showed up for his EUO. So we denied based on being hostile. Anyway, our attorneys send out a 12 page denial to this guy and here is a section of the letter that he sent back. Not too sure who the "we" is, and this is is third company that he is a CEO of in a span of 3 months. Also, what is "blog the media". I probably get letters like this once a month that require a shitload of work since I have to have meetings with my boss, corporate counsel, and our complaint department as they take each complaint seriously. Since being at the new office I have filed 3 restraining orders on insureds because of shit like this. Looks like I will be completing my 4th. But this one was so over the top it had me crying. Enjoy.
...These are just a few of the numerous Federal, State, and Civil Rights violations upon which you allowed to continue. You will be surprised at the amount of violations we have against you; and this is also in conjunction to the house claim which you grossly violated laws pertaining to seniors. We hope you understand the weight that this carries to your organization and leadership role. Our investigation will not only clear this family of the finanical, Physical, emotional, and undue stress that your office has placed, but we will send a message not only to the media, but to the people upon whom your company has neglected, overcharged, and defrauded. I suggest if you have some sense, that you will come to the table with me (Ernest C. Sari) as CEO of Street Smart Investment Club because we are prepared to take this not only to court, but will blog the media, and will make sure this is spread nationwide. If you stand and play hardball, I will personally request a federal indictment and hold you responsible and we will not only win, but will more than likely have control of your company. We are prepared to sue in excess of 60 - 200 million dollars and will request control of Farmers. Please do not disregard this notice.
We already have hard evidence, so any shredding and or tampering with paperwork will do you no good. I am giving you 7 business days to respond. If you cannot make a decision or respond to this without incriminating yourself, then I suggest you forward this to an arbitrator or someone that can make a decision, otherwise we will deem this as a no contest decision and forward this to the DA and a Judge.
...These are just a few of the numerous Federal, State, and Civil Rights violations upon which you allowed to continue. You will be surprised at the amount of violations we have against you; and this is also in conjunction to the house claim which you grossly violated laws pertaining to seniors. We hope you understand the weight that this carries to your organization and leadership role. Our investigation will not only clear this family of the finanical, Physical, emotional, and undue stress that your office has placed, but we will send a message not only to the media, but to the people upon whom your company has neglected, overcharged, and defrauded. I suggest if you have some sense, that you will come to the table with me (Ernest C. Sari) as CEO of Street Smart Investment Club because we are prepared to take this not only to court, but will blog the media, and will make sure this is spread nationwide. If you stand and play hardball, I will personally request a federal indictment and hold you responsible and we will not only win, but will more than likely have control of your company. We are prepared to sue in excess of 60 - 200 million dollars and will request control of Farmers. Please do not disregard this notice.
We already have hard evidence, so any shredding and or tampering with paperwork will do you no good. I am giving you 7 business days to respond. If you cannot make a decision or respond to this without incriminating yourself, then I suggest you forward this to an arbitrator or someone that can make a decision, otherwise we will deem this as a no contest decision and forward this to the DA and a Judge.
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