A bittersweet anniversary

One more thing I wanted to post earlier....

Last Saturday (April 24) was the 14th anniversary of the 5th longest NFL playoff game ever....

Pens-Caps, Game 4, 1996 NHL Playoffs

I remember this game pretty vividly - I was in Washington for a training class, and I picked up Layup from college to go to the game that night. I think I called that day (in the morning) to order tickets and we picked them up at will call. The game startd at 7:30. I planned that it would end at 10, I'd get back to the hotel room at 11, and get plenty of sleep for the next day.

This was my first NHL playoff game - and I thought it was cool that it went to overtime. Sudden death! Wonderful!

Then no scores in the first period. Layup and I looked at each other - c'mon, he was in college, what deadlines did he have? We'll stay for the second OT.

The second OT came - we had a penalty shot (Juneau took it? is that right?)- but he missed. It's now 12:15 in the morning. Should we stay? OK, one more OT.

Third OT - another scoreless period. We are now well past 1 am. At this moment, what's the point of sleeping? We stayed on....

Fourth OT - at the 18:00 mark (2 min left), we were still tied at 2-2. It's 2:15 or so in the morning. Jesus, am I going to get a sleepless night?

Petr Nedved (damn him) scored at the 19:15 mark of the 4th overtime; the Caps lost 3-2, and the series was tied, 2-2. Do I have to say that the Pens won the series in 6?

At that time (I think), it was the 3rd longest game in NHL history. Now it is the 5th longest. In doing research for this post, it's weird to see that an Anaheim-Dallas playoff game in 2003 (5 overtimes) passed this Pens-Caps game, and the Anaheim game was played on the same day - April 24.

(It's ironic that I post this now given the Caps' collapse vs. the Canadiens. The more things change..... God, I hope the Habs beat the Pens in 6. )

Why do you hate me?

I'm sure many of you have seen this poll:

Indians are the most hated team in baseball

This makes no sense to me. Really. None.
I'm clearly not as insufferable as the Yankees/Red Sox fans in October. Am I?

Seriously, this makes no sense. Can some one explain this to me?

Guilty pleasures

Hello again. It's been a while.

A quick post while at Freddie's baseball practice, where I just heard the term "double steal":

1. Cleaning out the basement - found a whole shoebox of cassettes. These are classics, containing the best music from the 1987-1991 era :
Extreme III - pornograffiti
Traveling Wilburys
Biz Markie
and of course
Rod Stewart "Rhythm of my Heart"

Just great stuff. Too bad no one owns a cassette player any more.

1a. There is one cassette I found that will be kept. I found the cassette recording of Steve and I calling an inning of a random Tribe game from 1992. I think we were playing Texas and Nolan Ryan was pitching .

But we didn't do the recording in our voices - we did our impressions of Tom Hamilton , the play by play man , and Herb Score, the color guy. I bet you all can guess who was who.

2. Is it bad that I love "operation Repo" on Tru TV ? Yes, of course, it is terrible tv. I guess that is what makes it good.

3. What's wrong with kids today ? I took F and W to Kroger. We went by the Hostess stand. Fruit pies !!!!! I was jumping up and down.
The kids? Not interested at all. They looked at me like I was from Mars. How do kids nowadays not go crazy over those fruit pies ?

New traditions needed

Good Masters this year. I still believe Freddie would have 3 jackets (instead of 1) if he could putt over the last 5 years. He should have been -17 or better today.

Anyway, we need new traditions. We all know where the pins are going to be on the Sunday of the Masters. And, of course, the pros do too ----- and they know exactly where to aim in order to get the roll/bounce they need to funnel to the hole. They don't have to aim at flags, but aim at areas, and the ball will roll dutifully.

Let's change it up. Let's make the players think and be on edge on Sunday. My proposal for the 2011 pin positions:

#10: OK, we can keep it back right. Having it up front is too tough given that.....

#11: Gees, this is Sunday at the Masters. Get the lake in play. Back left. Hell, bring the back water in play too.

#12: Right is fine.

#13: This has got to change. Move the pin 10 feet more to the right, or 10 feet closer to the creek - else put it back right. Let's see the front and right misses go in the water.

#14: There are no real good places here. Switch middle and right every other year.

#15: C'mon, let's see some action. Dead left. And shave the back fringe so balls can go bounding into the lake behind it.

#16: No more back left. How about front left, 3 steps on? Else back right. They have 7 irons - they should hit it like a laser.

#17: The Nicklaus pin from '86. Middle right?

#18: Enough of this as well. Back right.

Random Notes

- Sorry, I just don't love the Masters when 31 people are under par. I don't like majors where if someone shoots 73, they are out of contention. Give me Augusta where -6, -7 wins - not -12, -13 or more (like it's going to be this year).

- F&J Poll: If you had to choose for the Masters Chairman for life, who is it? Hord or Hootie?

I'm a traditionalist - I love the Hord Hardin era (1980-1991). He was so uncomfortable in front of the camera it made the opening 15 minutes of Augusta to be can't miss TV.

- The upstairs of our house had this fog over it on Wednesday night. It made it very hard to sleep, given the intense odor of the fog that covered the upstairs.

What was it? Bug spray? No, Freddie got some Tag body spray in his stocking for Christmas and used it after his shower - without supervision. I swear he emptied half the can Wednesday night.

The Good Old Days

I'm finding YouTube clips of old Sesame Street clips to play for the kids - and they are just as hilarious now as they were back then. This beats another episode of "SpongeBob" anyday - hell, it even beats the recent "Sesame Street" episodes and its too-cute "Elmo's World" vignette.

I've played this clip for Martin about 20 times over the past 3 days. It doesn't get old for me.

"Fat Cat Sat Hat"

It's just fascinating - the pure genius of the clip. The 2 minute video could be interpreted to make a statement on many social themes:

- 60's coolness vs 70's brashness
- conformity vs individualism
- repressed homosexuality. My rommate for 3 years in college had an immense library of Sesame Street clips, and was convinced that Henson was trying to show it was OK to be gay. The first few months, I laughed him off; by the 3rd year, I was convinced (and still convinced) he's right.
Evidence #1459: Listen to the lyrics starting at the 1:35 mark.

For the older kids, I still get a kick out of Grover the Waiter. The oldest two love it as well:

The Big Hamburger (I remember being afraid of hamburgers for a year after watching this)

Fast Food

Grover's Memory (don't you feel like the Blue Guy when the damn waiter doesn't write anything down?)

Houston Shell Open

Easter Sunday and the wife and kids are gone back to Kentucky. Tax Return did not come in, so I'm restricted to the house and not the UTH table at Palo. I'm in a golf and hockey gambling pool and this is a big day. I have Anthony Kim in the golf pool and I'm in second place with a bunch of my players going today. Also I'm itching for some action so I took all of the away teams plus two goals, Uconn women, Oklahoma women, and the Yanks-Soxs under. Oh and lets go over my golf 4 team parlay listed below:

• Anthony Kim over Bryce Molder
• Kevin Sutherland over Charl Swartzel
• Justin Leonard over Matt Kuchar
• Adam Scott over Justin Rose

Oh and I did another wager on Adam Scott over Justin Rose since my hatred for Rose is very high.

12:46pm: So I join you at hole 10 for Anthony Kim. I'm three bloody marys and one Diet Dr. Pepper and rums into the morning. Hey, no judging. I went for a 4 mile run and a healthy breakfast.

12:47pm: Thank you Johnny for gooching AK. 24 straight holes without a Bogey and then AK promptly shanks his tee shot into these huge bushes. Oh, who do I get a text from? Thank you Wiz for checking in. F you. Oh and F you too Don. Your gooches won't work on the master.

12:48pm: Ha. Swartzel misses a short birdie putt on 12. Suck it RRD.

12:52pm: Who are these guys chasing AK? Delaet? Micheal? Ugh. Its amazing how much I've learned

12:54pm: Maggert in the chase. I will never forget him from here on out as he replaced VJ two weeks ago in the Arnold

12:58pm: AK misses the par putt. Now only up two on the contenders.

1:00pm: Wiz and I text how much Kevin Stadler looks like Eric.

1:01pm: AK pulls his drive. I'm mixing another Diet Pepper and Rum. Not good. I'm getting a little too buzzed. Thinking about lighting up a cigar in the living room.

1:02pm: Things I wish I knew before I placed a wager or picked a golfer. Phil does an interview that basically states that he used a driver on every hole to get ready for the Masters despite knowing that he couldn't win this tournament since the holes are very tight. He also stated that his wife's doctor lives in houston and he let him caddie in the final round. Great to just throw an entire tourney.

1:07pm: AK great second shot out of the bunker. Text goes out to Wiz. Eat it.

1:09pm: Away team Red Wings lost by one and now Calgary (away team) is down by two. Need the Sharks and Wild to come through for me to win my wager.

1:10pm: Really thinking that I could make it as a professional sports bettor. If I could just hold off on the 10,000 stupid wagers that eat away on my solid wagers.

1:11pm: Adam Scott makes another birdie. Now 3 up on Justin Rose. Its like they are just giving money away.

1:12pm: If you have a chance. Watch Ray Romano on the golf channel with Phil Hanney. Excellent show. Watched 3 episodes this morning and was laughing my ass off.

1:15pm: Taylor for Birdie and is now at 11 under. One behind AK. And to think Eric mentioned him early this past week. Ugh. And now AK tee shot...another bunker. This is not good.

1:18pm: Does anyone feel cool wearing Transitions glasses? The ones that change with sunlight? And to have Kenny Perry and Trevor Immelman as your spokesmen is not a good sign.

1:20pm. Lee has been so bad for his picks in the fantasy league that he is now offering his picks for $2 a piece. Text Lee stating that I want his pick for the Masters and said that he is interested in a subscription. And I'm going to take him up on it.

1:22pm: Yes Sir!!! Kim has an amazing bunker shot. Another Birdie.

1:32pm: Took a little break. Had to make another drink and made a nice little turkey sandwich. Back on the couch and ready to go. Looks like Kim will be going for the green on the 13th hole. And he goes over the green. But still a chance for birdie.

1:42pm: An interview with AK stating that he is injured and will need to take time off to heal his thumb. And then Johnny comes on and states that he will be able to use the $1 mil plus winnings during his time off. Someone needs to tell him about the gooch for christ sake.

1:43pm: Swartzel is starting to scare me. And so is Westwood. Need to hold off on getting too excited about both of these two for next week. Totally different courses.

1:46pm: AK hits one over the green again. I can't watch this anymore. Need a cigar. Thank god I'm in CA where outside TV watching is accepted and able to complete. Two years ago, Ben and I pulled the 44 inch flat screen outside so that we could smoke, drink, eat, and watch the superbowl. Probably the greatest superbowl viewing experience of my life. Nice and warm and didn't have to worry about missing any parts of the game. God I love CA.

1:48pm: George Lopez and the Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am? Um yeah, I'll skip that one.

1:49pm: Great chip by AK, which makes me yell and wake up the cats.

1:50pm: Getting drunk now. Another par by AK.

1:51pm: Bogey on the last hole by Adam Scott and birdie by Justin Rose makes me lose my bet. Fuck you Mr. Adam Scott. I'm so angry right now. Just laughing outloud to myself to help control my anger.

1:52pm: Talk to Carol. Ask her to stop by Pappy Van Winkle's distillery to pick up some bourbon for me. She is confused and concerned while her dad states that I have good taste and they will go tomorrow. Thank you Don.

1:55pm: Tension between AK and his caddie. AK wants to hit his driver and the caddie won't move his bag, trying to talk him out of it. Hits it anyway.

2:15pm: Slowing down a bit. Getting drunker. Craving my cigar and hot tub. Vaughn Taylor's tee shot is pulled and some fat lady ducks the drive and is on all fours and looks disgusting. Johnny states that she is looking like an Easter egg trying to hide in the grass. Then I get a text from Wiz just stating "What a pig". Its sad that I'm so into golf that people can just text a comment on a random golf happening.

2:21pm: Eric texts me that Kim is a quick putter. On behalf of Kermit, Don, Mike, Craig, and Steve, I told him he should take some notes. He doesn't like this comment.

2:22pm: Kim just drills a stupid lady walking on the cart path. She went down like she was shot. Honestly, you're looking at the tee box and you still get hit in the stomach????? How is that possible. Pay attention you fucking idiot. You cost AK about 40 yards on his drive.

2:28pm: AK comes over to the lady to apologize and she is holding an ice pack to her boob. Why are there paramedics tending to her? If she wasn't cute and in her 20's nobody would even care. I remember last year at the US Open, someone drilled an elderly lady sitting in a chair next to the green in the leg and nobody even cared.

2:30pm: What am I going to do once Eric goes to China? I can't send him 30 texts in an hour about stupid golf shit. He can't send me videos of his kids playing golf in the backyard while he does play by play like Verne. What will I do??????

2:31pm: Thinking about what sport I want my daughter to be good in and I'm thinking that it should be golf.

2:33pm: Deleat makes a birdie on 18 and pushes Schwartzel back a little in the money list. Haha RRD.

2:35pm: AK really doesn't spend that much time over the ball. Wow, almost made a huge putt. 2 shot lead going into 18.

2:37pm: Man I miss not having a kid. So relaxing and I got so much accomplished this weekend.

2:42pm: Kim on 18. Hits it in a fairway bunker. Vaughn who is two shots back of Kim birdies 18 and now is one shot back.

2:43pm: Wiz just text that this was like the UTH dealer beating you on the last card. I agree. I'm so nervous as they go to commercial break. I am now chewing on my patch to get nicotine directly into my system.

2:44pm: Can they have anymore commercials for the The Players tourney in May? Jesus.

2:45pm: 224 to the hole for AK. Hits it into another bunker. Cats have left the living room as they can feel the tension.

2:46pm: Chewing on the Us Weekly with Sandra Bullock on the cover. Why would you cheat on Sandra. Wonder if Jesse James has a sex addiction?

2:49pm: Tremendous bunker shot by Kim. 5 footer for par and a win.

2:52pm: Kim misses it. And blows it by. Going to a playoff. I can't continue this so I'm out. So pissed right now. So angry. I can't even talk. Good day.

Vegas Diary, Part 4

And we come to the conclusion of the diary from Vegas. I finally have time to finish this up before we move on to other topics.

Sunday started again with an early wakeup - I think the most sleep I got on one night was 5 hours - and to the Pai Gow tables with the Cantonese dealer. After a gigantic Chocolate Chip muffin, a few of us -Jay, Laura, Wiz, Layup? - found ourselves at the Blackjack Switch table.

I have to be honest - I am starting to love this game. There is a lot of strategy involved here. Dealer has a 8 up, you have 9-8 and 10-10. What do you do? Do you take the 20 off the board, and go to a 19 & 18?

What about the dealer having a 4 up, and you have 10-3 and A-8? Split and double? Or stand with your 19? Wiz and I got into many discussions on how to play these. It was clear that he comes from the aggresive Sean Payton coaching tree - take away "sure" winners to double in advantageous spots; I obviously come from the Marty Schottenheimer tree - protecting "sure" winners if you got them.

(By the way, if Wiz ever made his own BJ card, I 'm sure it owuld look something like this to the right.)

This was also the scene of our rules discussion with the dealers/pit boss. As most of you know, in black jack switch, everyone pushes if the dealer has 22. I think the felt says "dealer pushes on 22".

Well, our dealer had an Ace showing, then turned over another ace, then a 10.....A hard 12, and a soft 22. Isn't that a push for everyone? We stopped her before she turned another card.

She was puzzled, then realized what we were saying. The first pit boss came over (Eleanor, I think), and after much discussion, she said the dealer has to hit. This is played as 12, according to the casino.

But why? The felt does not say hard 22 - it says 22. We played it out, and this pit boss understood our point at least, and would check into it.

Another pit boss - a black lady - came over and we presented out case to her. She was incredulous that we would even think this is a valid argument. This is 12! She almost shouted those words multiple times.

Here is a link to a Wizard of Vegas post where I presented the case - and most of the responses are against me.

At the same time, Don and Mike are playing UTH across the pit. The black lady goes over there - and with her back to us - presumably start talking to Don and Mike about the idiots at black jack switch that insist 12 is 22. The nerve! As Don and Mike are listening while grimacing, I spot Don over there and raise my hand - Hi Don! How's it going?

Don wanted to slither under the table at that point rather than acknowledge he was with us.

Off to golf, and a terrible round at Bali Hai. The course is nice - I like the fact that if you miss a fairway you are not "dead" and lost a ball. However, the planes taking off from McCarran detract from the experience - a LOT.

I have to say I love my new driver - when I hit it. When I hit it, I'm at least keeping up with Don and Mike (which is better than in recent years). However, the timing is all off right now, and I'm either duck hooking it or producing an awful block. Wiz gave me some "good" advice: "A duck is always better than a block". Next tee shot: 150 yds dead left. Thanks, ass.

Back to the Mirage and ( I believe) the best meal of the trip - the buffet. That's a tradition we should keep - the Sunday evening buffet. After that, where else but UTH? The group got the table for a few hours - however, the eye candy was lacking this night as well. Apparently, the dealer said Sunday Night at Revolution is "transvestite night" or something to that effect.

Well, I made a nice profit at the table, and was getting a little bored....and I saw Leland standing there waiting for something......... "Craps run? " I said to Leland. Of course. Off we went.

We found an empty $15 table that was joined quickly by an odd assortment of people - three college age kids to my right, a foreign couple on Leland's side, a semi-high roller with a female escort. After a bit, the table warmed up pretty nicely. It was never on fire but it was warm for a good 2 hours. The shooters made about 2-3 points each, lots of numbers, and then sevened out. And this repeated for 8-10 shooters. No one had the dice for over 15 minutes, but everyone had them for at least 10. (And oh my God - the field was on fire. My horn high ace deuce - my personal crack cocaine - was coming through, and this kid next to me was making a mint on the field. He turned $100 into $500 quickly, mostly on the field bets.)

Well, we left making another nice profit - my first yellow chip (and my camera didn't work!). After cashing out, I was considering going upstairs - but then I see Leland hanging out at a BJ table with John the Dealer dealing. Leland wasn't playing, but he seemed to think this was a hotel bar where he could ust lounge around for an hour or so.

The table was empty - so why not? I jumped in. it was not the minimums I was used to, so I was a bit cautious with the outlay. I lost the first hand - but then I got on a roll. Finally! After 4-5 years of getting smoked at Pai Gow by John, I was actually winning. He went on break after 20 minutes, and I more than doubled my outlay. That was a good signal to leave for the night.

Monday - Layup actually got up, showered and left before I got out of bed! A first! After some leisurely candy shopping and packing, I headed to the UTH table - alone - for one last session. The table was empty when I started playing - but then a drunk 20-something guy came around. He was yelling "Butt Scratcher!" just like the Family Guy episode. For whatever reason, he stopped at my table. He offered me one ("no thanks"), and offered the dealer one. She actaulyl took it and scratched her back with it.

He was clearly drunk and a leftover from the night before. He was wearing a shirt that said "Swallow, or it gets in your eye!". However, he seemed mesmerized by UTH. He watched me for about 10 minutes, trying to learn the game; I finally convinced him to sit down and play. We both were winning, as I left for the airport up for the fourth session in a row, and Mr. ButtScratcher had almost doubled his money.

Saturday night note

Can't believe I forgot that this was part of Saturday night! I would wager that no one will ever see this again - a Royal on the board in UTH!!!

None of us were playing the trips - the old man in the upper left corner was, so he got paid $750 for his $15 trips bet.

If I held that King of Hearts and the other 4 cards to the royal were on the board, it would have been worth $7500.

However, even though this board looks great, it was just a push to all of us since we tied the dealer with a Royal.