Jan 30, 2007

Beane

Well spring training is right around the corner and there seems to be more and more baseball news making the front pages, so I decided to quickly talk about the A's. I'm not happy with what the A's have done this off-season, but that is usual. I wasn't expecting them to resign Zito, and I understand not paying Thomas for two years, but I'm starting to get worried about the rotation and the lineup. Athletics Nation has another great interview with Beane and here is the item that bothers me the most.


Blez: Obviously two big reasons for the success in 2006 were the contributions of Barry Zito and Frank Thomas and now they're both gone. How does the 2007 team make up for the loss of those two key cogs?

Beane: If you are going to look at it in a linear fashion, losing both those guys is going to be tough. We were able to overcome a guy like Rich Harden's injury by having a guy like Barry there. The hope is that Rich is healthy and he takes Barry's production. In Frank's case, as we went into last season, Frank was sort of the cherry on top that if he was healthy we thought he'd be a protective component of this club and would fit in nicely. As it turned out, Frank carried us. Because of all the injuries we needed him. The way I look at replacing Frank's production is having a lot of the guys healthy. For example, having Bobby Crosby healthy, Chavy was banged up all season long. We signed Mike Piazza to come in. We don't expect Mike to come in and duplicate Frank's numbers, but we're hoping he won't have to. Milton (Bradley) was hurt a lot and just by the virtue of having some of these guys return to production and health, we hope that will make up for a lot of it. That being said, we won't have the depth that we had the previous year. If we didn't have Frank, we don't win it. But going into the season, we weren't counting on Frank hitting 39 homers and doing what he did. Health on the position players side and health on the pitching side, then Rich can take over for Barry and just slot right in there. Then Joe Kennedy will just slot right into that fifth spot.

The biggest thing in management is never to use the words "hope" or "try". I don't like it that our season depends on the health of several guys that have proven that they can't stay healthy. Harden, Ellis, Chavez, and Bradley are all injury prone, so to trust that they will stay healthy is sort of silly. And it is certainly clear that we really don't have any depth on the bench or the minors to handle any type of long-term injuries. If Harden goes down we have only one decent prospect in the minors. We have zero infield prospects and our top prospect, Travis Buck, is a year away from helping us in the outfield. Daric Barton, who is still trying to overcome injuries, is now stuck behind Piazza, Durazo, and Johnson at first base so what help will he be.

I do like our starting lineup and our rotation, but I don't feel comfortable with the fact that we can't have any injuries in order for us to win the West. Should be interesting!!!

Jan 29, 2007

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Someone asked for this in one of the other comment threads...

here is the best link that I can find to the various prop bets for the Super Bowl:

Super Bowl Prop bets (for players)

You can click on the links on the left of this page to see prop bets for teams (total yards, longest FGs, etc. etc.)

BoDog's most interesting prop bet is the over/under on the time of the national anthem, as sung by Billy Joel. The clock starts with "Oh..." and ends when the word "brave" is finished.

The over/under is set at 1:44.

Jan 28, 2007

More random dreams from the Zahns....

Golf season has started. Why is this?

1) The Buick Invitational was this weekend - real PGA golf on the mainland. Pebble is just around the corner, then the Florida events - and before you know it, it will be 60 here.

2) Also, it is because I am starting to have golf dreams again. I'm not usually playing in these dreams, but rather I am waiting (anxiously) to tee off in a tournament or review my scores on the scoreboard. In this dream, unfortunately,it was the latter, and I was reviewing my 81 that was posted on the board.

3) Also in this dream, for whatever reason, there was a professional wrestler that was biking to the arena. He seemed like a character from Nacho Libre - shirtless but with a red cape, and his bike was more of a middle-schoolers, with the basket in front.

At the arena, he was announced, and for whatever reason, they announced his date of birth as well. As fate would have it, his birthdate was January 10, 1972 - the exact same day of my birth.

Can anyone decipher that dream?

Jan 23, 2007

Nicoderm patch- The gift that keeps on giving

I had the best dream of my life last week. This was better than my Brittany Spears sex dream about 8 years ago and about 10 times better than my war dreams of 5 years ago.

So in the dream I'm sitting at a BJ table with Jay, Lee, Wiz, and Eric. I have no idea which casino we were at and the dealer was this strange guy I played roulette with on the cruise. Jay ends up hitting blackjack and after the dealer pays off Jay, the table opens up into a huge craps table. Apparently we were playing at a BJ table that when a player hits BJ then he gets to roll the dice at craps. We all started to go crazy since none of us knew about this rule. So Jay rolls a couple of sevens to open it up and we all get excited since we are winning. He then rolls a hard 4 for the point. I put max odds behind the pass line and $10 on the hard 4. Jay comes back with a hard 4 and the table goes nuts.

Right as I was getting paid off by the dealer Carol's fucking cat steps on my head and wakes me up. I was so pissed off. I pushed the cat off the bed and immediately tried to get back into the dream. Of course this never works and I'm in that half sleeping half thinking stage where I'm imagining all of us at the BJ table, but its not working at all. And I swear in my attempt to get back to the dream, Jay, Lee, Wiz, and Eric were sitting at the BJ/Craps table just shaking their heads in disapproval like "How could you fuck up this dream for us." I'm so disappointed with myself

God I love the patch. Such great dreams.

Splat

That was the sound of the Dynasty Extension bandwagon falling off a cliff. Ouch, that AFCCG sucked. Credit to the Colts, they roared back when they could have folded. Before I get to my game musings I want to give some props to Eric (who I pooped on in his earlier post) who had 3 of the 4 bets on Championship weekend correct. Very impressive.

- That 12 men in the huddle penalty was HUGE. HUGE!! To start a clock killing drive needing 15 yard is really tough.

- Why do the Pats seem to have secondary injuries in every key game? Finishing the game with Rahad Baker(?) after the starter/backup Artrel Hawkins was out with something. The same thing happened in SB 38 when Harrison and Eugene Wilson got hurt. That allowed the Panthers to score at will. Although nothing was like the onslaught the Colts put on in the second half. They gave up 32 points in the second half after not giving up 32 in any game this season. Ouch.

- Giving LB Eric Alexander his first career start looked brilliant in the first half. Then the Colts went into halftime and realized that 52 wasn't Ted Johnson, and the wheels came flying off in the second half. They went at him with Dallas Clark, Bryan Fletcher, and Utecht. I was waiting for Marcus Pollard to come out and catch a few passes.

- The vaunted NE D-Line was completely manhandled. Whether it was sickness, travel from SD, suckiness or whatever -they got steamrolled.

- Some safety depth for next season would be nice.

- Caldwell with those damn eyes, reminds me of the aliens in Men In Black, the ones that breathe through their eyes. He is freaky!! And he still was dropping passes.

- The parallels to the Sox Yankees were just too much. Now I know how Yankee fans felt after 2004 ALCS. Both featured largest comeback in league championship history, leaving the top team stunned , wondering if we entered some sort of bizaaro universe.

- I think we can safely say that the Colts were really the better team, even if that game was winnable. I think the Pats went as far as they could given their talent.

State of the Union

First, let me retrack everything I said about the Sheraton 4 Points hotel. They had free pie. And good free pie!!!!

So I'm trying to decide which coverage to watch for the state of the union.

CNN- Wolf Blitzer is an idiot. He stated that the VP could not become President while good ole Paula Zahn tried to cover up for him. Not watching this.
MSNBC- Oberman???? Really? This is who you want covering this? Chris Matthews is there as well, but Oberman is a bigger idiot than Blitzer. Nope not this either, but I will come back to it since they seem to have an all star.
Fox- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Mr. "I have the lowest and slowest voice in the world" Hume. Oh!! Bill Cystal. I like him. I'll stay on here for a while I guess.

Heading quickly back down to the front desk to try another slice of pie.

So here are a few things on the state of the union:


  • Introductions: Purple Tie Cheney? OK. Pelosi you look very nice. Bush, very nice words to Pelosi. All in all probably the nicest part of the entire evening. Too bad I don't have Tivo.
  • Are there two more contrasting figures behind Bush? Cheney looking like the dad who is trying to control his kids by shooting them annoyed and disapproving looks across the room. And what is up with his smirk. And Pelosi....well she looks less like Skeletor like tonight. Maybe the doctors loosened up her skin a little bit. Is there something in her teeth or just dry lips.
  • Is Kennedy working on his college basketball picks? "Umass plus 8? I'll take it everyday of the week."
  • McCain...ugh. Loss some weight or get new skin. Looks like a stuffed sausage.
  • Immigration...whatever. Bunch of BS.
  • Why isn't anyone clapping on the energy talk? Half the people aren't doing anything. Oh Bush and company have been talking about this for 8+ years with no results. Its getting old isn't it.
  • Wait a second, is Cheney chewing gum? Or is it his tongue. His eyes are burning through me right now.
  • Jesus I don't feel well. I forgot to tell you that I ate a bucket of KFC before the pie. I'm so sleepy right now and can't continue. I'm going to bed for a little bit. Wow, I really don't feel so good.

OK, I'm back. Eyes half closed and ready to go to bed. Overall, decent job by Bush. I think this was the last time I ever eat Fried Chicken.

Jan 22, 2007

The 4 point shithole

Have I ever talked about Fresno? I can't remember so just in case I haven't, Fresno is a shithole. Stay out of Fresno at all costs. I'm up here for 3 days for meetings and I got lazy and didn't book my hotel until the last minute. All the hotels in the nice part of town were booked for some reason so I'm close to downtown in a Sheraton 4 Point. Wow, what made me decide on this one? Sheraton 4 Point is the Excalibur of the Sheraton chain. Here are a few highlights of my fabulous hotel:

1. The hotel restaurant is called "The Smuggler".
2. I needed my room key to get into the hallway. Yes the hallway.
3. The Do Not Disturb sign on my door is just a big red piece of paper that says "NO"
4. No lights were on in the room when I walked in, so I hit the switch and I think a 10 watt light bulb was used in the single light that came on in the main room. Expected to see a man in the chair smoking a cigar and asking me where his money was.
5. The Fresno manager asked me where I was staying tonight and I said where, and he chuckled and said "Too bad you just got married, since the prostitutes are cheap down there."
6. Have you ever seen a 27 inch TV wider than it is taller? Nope, its not a plasma but a weird shaped crappy TV. Ugh.
7. There is a 5 cent arcade right next door. No doubt I will wander in there tomorrow after work to check it out.

So can someone please check in with me tomorrow to make sure I'm alive.

Hounddog


What the fuck??? Dakota Fanning getting raped for a movie? I can't say that I'm not intrigued.

Suicide Watch


For those of you in California, please watch Derek today to make sure he doesn't kill himself.

As you know, Derek is a HUGE baseball fan and subscribes to Extra Innings on Cable.

Also you may know that Derek WILL NOT subscribe to DirecTV out of some principle he has. He got screwed over, apparently, 5-6 years ago.

Well now - today's news that MLB is set to annouce that the rights to ExtraInnings will be given to DirecTV (like the NFL Sunday Ticket) has got to hit him hard.

When are you getting that dish, Derek? February? March?

Jan 21, 2007

NFL Championship Picks: The Remington Super Bowl

I don't think I've agonized as much on any games as these two games. Here we go, with help from my (imaginary) editor:

New Orleans at Chicago: I've gone round and round on this one. At first thought, I was less than impressed with Chicago's defense against Seattle. That performance, plus a few down the stretch, led me to conclude that the Bears' D was overrated. So I was leaning toward the Saints until...
I realized that this is a dome team on the road in a Championship team. No dome team has ever won a Championship game outdoors on the road. Are the Saints really that good to overcome that jinx? And how would that offense perform outdoors? I just can't see the Saints scoring many points outside. So that leads me to pick...

(ed: um, Eric?)

Yes?

(ed: what about that 42 point game at Dallas on Dec 10?)

That doesn't count. Texas Stadium is very much like a dome.

(ed: OK - what about that 31-7 win over the Giants at the Meadowlands on 12/24?)

That doesn't count either. It was team implosion, the Giants.

(ed: Ok - but they scored 31 at Pittsburgh on Nov 12)

That was when Pittsburgh was sucking.

(ed: Are you going to ignore all the evidence?)

OK - let's see what teams shut the Saints down this year on the road? It was:
- Carolina in week 4, who limited the Saints to 18 points in a must win game for the Panthers, and
- lookee here! Cleveland in week 1, who held the Saints juggernaut to only 19 points.

(ed: Must you always bring the Browns into your playoff game preview?)

Of course!

(ed: But the point stands - not since Oct 1 have the Saints scored less than 20 points on the road).

No matter! I just cannot, cannot see the Saints getting more than 20 today. If they can't, they lose, since the Saints D is not good enough to completely shut the Bears down.

Bears 23, Saints 14.

New England at Indy: I never had a game where I could see a blowout on either side, or a close game on either side. Indy is more talented, by far. And week 9 where Indy dominated NE is exhibit A for the Colts. But I have this nagging feeling that Belichick deliberately held something back that game, anticipating a future rematch like this.

But I just can't see how the NE secondary can stop Peyton and all his weapons IN THE DOME. How in the world do the cover Harrison, Wayne, Clark, Utecht, etc.? I can't answer that.

(ed: Eric?)

Oh boy. Yes?

(ed: So, just to recap, you are betting against Belichick and Brady for the 2nd week in a row?)

Yes, but

(ed: And you realize that bettors don't have success going against them?)

I know, but

(ed: And you are asking Peyton to cover in a big game, the same Peyton who hasn't won a big game since, oh, the 1990 JV Championship for Isidore Newman HS?)

Well...

(ed: it's your money...)

Indianapolis 31, New England 20.


And that brings us to the Remington Super Bowl. You thought I meant Remington, like the razor and Victor Kiam? No - be prepared for two weeks of the heated Chicago-Indianapolis rivalry. Ground Zero in this rivalry is the small town of Remington, IN, located exactly between Chicago and Indianapolis on I-65. I'm sure Bob Costas, Mike Greenberg and Gus Johnson will visit this town before February 5.

(PS - I-65 is just off the map to the west of the satellite photo shown here)

Best bets:
Last week: Eric 2-4, overall 145-129-8
Derek: 1-2; overall: 126-133-1.

We'll pick all 4 today:
Bears -3
Bears/NO under 43
Indy -3.5
Indy/NE Over 47

Response to Sports Guy

Friday's article by the Sports Guy on ESPN just infuriated me. He completely does not get the point.

Here is the email that I just sent him. It's 6 in the morning, so I probably should have proofread this later before sending, but oh well....

SG:
I read your article on Friday about the Pats and felt compelled to respond. You are missing a couple of big points that can explain the hatred toward Boston right now.


First, I think you miss a big point. American society - in general - is NOT a zero-sum game. The fact that you personally are succeeding and doing well in you career as a sportwriter has no bearing on my career as an engineer. We both can become affluent and retire well, generating money and cash for America. We are not "competing" for one spot on the success curve.

This is certainly not true in sports. There's only one championship given in each sport each year, so all but one teams' season will be a failure. Even though I live in Cincinnati, I am a Cleveland fan... every championship that is won by another city (St Louis, Pats, Miami) is another title that passes me by and another year of failure. That's just the truth.

So you have to expect hatred from other cities if your team is successful - you are stealing "spots" at the title table from them. If I live to be 80, that means there are only 240 chances for my teams (Indians, Browns, and Cavs) to win a title. Right now, I am 0-for-112. So you have to expect some bitter jealousy from others, especially if your team has won 2 or 3 titles in a short time.

This is why I can't understand your comment about you not understanding how America can turn against the Patriots. You wrote... "At no point from 1960 to 2001 did any Patriots fan EVER think to himself, "Some day, this will all be worth it ... become known as 'the team that just keeps winning,' break the hearts of fans across the league and, eventually, we'll turn into first-class villains ..."

Why not? That's why I - and most other sports fans - dream about! To become that dynasty that keeps winning and pisses people off from Kansas City to Tampa, from Seattle to Atlanta. I have come close - close! - to that twice with my teams - with the Browns in the late 80s and the Tribe in the late 90s.

You remember Sam Wyche's comment in Dec 1989? "You don't live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati!!"? That was made during the 3 division titles in 4 years that the Browns had. People - especially in the AFC North - did not like us. And we wore that quote as a badge of honor.Likewise, in the late 90s, people hated Albert Belle, Kenny Lofton, and the Tribe. And I enjoyed every minute of that hatred - it made the cold cold Aprils in Municipal Stadium kind of worth it.

Let's be clear - nothing so far is personally directed toward Boston in general.
And you are correct that America should appreciate the team and how it was done. People do respect the Pats and part of me does love the overachieving group of players that keeps winning over flashier showboats (Chargers) or the overhyped stars (Peyton and the Colts).

The team we are ok with. The fan base? Hmmm... not so much. Bill, I really think you underestimate the damage that was caused by the Oprah-fest that occurred after the 2004 Red Sox.

For 6 months, the media and Boston fans tried to convince America that 1) these fans were the longest suffering in all of sports, and 2) they DESERVED IT.

Well, if one of those fans were somehow a fan of:

- the Red Sox;

- the Buffalo Bills;

- the Rochester/Kansas City/Sacramento Kings ; and

- the St. Louis Blues;

then I can understand how that fan can be deserving of one title and then would be able to die in peace.


But the common Red Sox fan had seen the Celtics' titles in the 80s and had just seen 2 Super Bowl wins for the Pats.


So the common argument that these fans were "long-suffering" and "starving for a title" just is lost on me. And the constant cries of "we did it!" and "We deserve this!" made me sick.
If you deserve that for your Red Sox after seeing 5 titles for your city's sports teams in your life, what is waiting for me in the future? What is waiting for the citizens of Seattle? San Diego? Arizona? Buffalo? Philadelphia?

The promotion of the "woe is us, be happy for us now that we won!" is both sickening (because it was overblown) and misleading (becuase Boston had multiple titles over the past 20 years).
And that's why America hates the Boston Sports fan.

We respect the team and the coach.... although let's remind ourselves that in the 5 years he coached my team, he won exactly ONE playoff game.... but we can't stand the fan base.

Accept the fact that your teams are successful and now hated (ask yourself - why DID you hate the Steelers and Canadiens in the 70s? ) and drop the "our fan base is the best in sports and deserves this" attitude, and then maybe - maybe - we'll drop the hatred.

Right now, Boston fans are the 10 year old boy at the end of the lunch table that keeps asking: "but WHY don't you like me? I can get new clothes! I can ask my mom to cut my hair differently! Guys, I just want you to LIKE me!"

And that makes him - and you - even more annoying.

Jan 18, 2007

Why can I picture this happening to me?


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070118/

Gates vs Jobs


This made me laugh. The Wall Street Journal had an article last weekend breaking down Gates-Jobs fashion sense. Gates always wears a button down shirt without a tie and Jobs always wears a turtle neck. Who the fuck greenlighted this article? Then I was thinking about how I could easily substitue Eric and myself into this article without missing a beat. Eric of course being Jobs by never wearing anything other than a paschal colored turtleneck and myself being Gates, the genius and brains behind America (and looking very smooth while doing it).

Random thoughts

Quick thoughts, mostly non-sports related:

1) Who decided that the sizing for pants' length should be in multiples of 2? You can by 30" length slacks, or 32". I think I am a perfect 31". A 2" gap between sizes is too much. When I wear 32"s, I feel like I am sweepingthe floor; when I wear 30"s, I think everyone can see my socks. It's pissing me off.

2) I asked some of you this earlier ths week - so let's take a formal poll. Without looking, you have 9-9 vs. a Dealer 3. What do you do?

3) Speaking of gambling, I found $3 craps - $3!!! - at the Belterra on Monday morning. Wow. That was on the verge of dis-interesting, if you know what I mean. I found myself watching ESPN for 20-30 seconds at a time since I wasn't highly financially involved. Does this make sense? (thank God the dice were ice cold..... else it could have been a lot worse.)

4) Like Derek, I am finding my self watching this installment of American Idol...and now I am hooked. Tue at 8? Yes sir, Fox, I'll be there.
(this means I'll discover 24 in, oh, 2009 or so....)

5) Snowing in Malibu? Maybe Derek needs these recipes for warm winter drinks. Me? I'm drinking SoCo and Cola on my porch in 45 degree weather. (to be fair, it actually got to 20 two nights ago....)

6) Not to gross anyone out or anything, but every have the urge to take a piss and crap - but you only have time for the piss? That's painful.

7) Sports: my thoughts on the AFC Championship is in the comments for Jay's post...
- NFC: How good IS the Bears' D when they let up 24 to Seattle at home? Seattle had a QB with a broken hand and Alexander with a okay front line. I may bne smelling upset here.
- Basketball - The Cavs are in 1st overall in the East! This means they get to be the ones who get swept by the Suns/Mavs in the NBA Finals. (Or did I gooch them already by putting them in the Finals? Does this mean they'll lose in the 1st round to the 8th seed Celtics?)

Quickie

A couple of quick notes for this morning:

1. How does Marty get another year? Screw these teams and their fan base that continue to execute and support decisions like this. Listening to the morning talk show and everyone from the host to the callers were supporting this move. All of a sudden, it is not Marty's fault. On Monday everyone from the host to the callers were stating that if Marty comes back then the organization isn't committed to winning a superbowl. Ugh. Have fun San Diego.

2. Health Insurance- Over the past 10 years I have only been to the doctors when I'm sick. Its usually a quick visit and I get some medication, so I really could really care less about who the doctor is. But now I'm getting older and have a little more complex issues, so when choosing a doctor it becomes more than "Is is less than a mile down the road" and more like "who the heck is the guy/gal. Well, Carol was reviewing a list of doctors in a 25 mile area and only one got his/her doctorate from a college within the US. So when choosing foreign colleges would you prefer one from Mexico or India? I'm going with India.

3. It snowed here. Well not in my neck of the woods since I live in paradise, but up in Malibu. Crazy. It's so cold here over the last month. Ugh. I wouldn't really mind the temps, but I'm trying to recruit some people from the Mid West and PA and its sucks since its warmer back there than it is here.

4. American Idol- I never used to watch this show but I tried it out this year because I got embarrassed in our "American Idol" pool at work last year. I think I had Beth (Brad's girl) fill it out for me and I did terrible. I want to win this thing so I'm trying to do my homework. This pool actually paid out $100 last year.

5. Speaking of office events, we are starting to plan our March of Dimes activities this year. Last year we had a Fischer price basketball shot tournament and an office miniature golf championship. Any other ideas from the group on what I can add on for this? Some type of sporting event that can be done in the office?

Jan 16, 2007

I think i saw this in my water in Mexico

Lights Out Marty!

What a game on Sunday! The Chargers absolutely gift wrapped that game in so many different ways. A few dumb penalties, some missed plays, throw in a couple of key Marty blunders, and you have another Pats playoff W. Some key points from the game:

- If you ever hear fans or media of another team saying things like "The coach doesn't block or tackle","players play the game", etc. Then those fans do not know what it is to watch a well coached team week in and week out. Will you hear Jets fans say this right now? Pats fans? Nope. I remember dumb people would make that argument for the "Tuna Bowls" during the Pete Carroll Era. How did that work out???

- It was clear that the Chargers had superior players, and really were the better team. If you swapped coaches, I think the Chargers win by 14 points. They dominated the game statisically, but they kept shooting themselves in the foot, and let the Pats hang around. Then as the game got close, they tightened up, left that door slightly ajar and the Pats blew right through it. How do you challange that play? Then how the heck do you call timeout after an injury timeout at the 4:00 minute mark!?? How!??! That is almost as bad as punting with 1:56 to go, down by 3 with 2 timeouts (Andy Reid).

- OK, I admit the Pats went a little overboard in the postgame celebration which really irked Tomlinson and others. But seriously, if your teammate (who is roiding) goes crazy with a "lights out dance" after a snap which he didn't even make a sack (he tallied a "hurry" of Brady), and you talk smack all week in the papers, what the f do you expect when the 3 time champs beat you in your crib??? If you can't take getting taunted back, then don't do all of that stuff. Maybe Rosie Colvin running down the tunnel (where the both teams were going to their lockers) shouting "You can turn out the lights now, cuz your season's over chumps!!" was probably a little bit much. But seriously, stop the whining. Stop talking about the celebration, start talking how you choked away a 14-2 #1 seed season and lost in your crib to an inferior team, in a game you were winning by 8 with 6 minutes to go.

- One final thing on this Chargers silliness. Their big point was act like you've been there before. Well, how the hell do they know how to act!?! What big games have they won, that would tell them how one should or shouldn't act after a big playoff win?? Oh, thats right their next big playoff win will be their first one.

-Brady was pretty bad in that game. I know he was clutch when he needed to be, but if Troy Brown doesn't cause that fumble he would be remembered for throwing 3 picks in the final game of the season. He missed several throws that he would normally make left handed. Of course, he made up for it by nailing that 49 yard bomb with the game on the line and the two minute drive before halftime.

- One more thing on Brady. I'm sure this week we'll here some of the Joe Montana comparisons, and for my money he really was the best. I don't think he is at that level yet, but one thing is interesting if you think about it. Where is his Roger Craig? Where is the Jerry Rice, the Dwight Clark, the John Taylor? I admit his defenses have been much better than the 49ers, but when you compare the offensive teammates, it really isn't even close (except maybe Dillon in 2004 was probably equal to R. Craig). I thought the offensive crew in 2001 was the worst I have ever seen (on a good team), but this crop is right down there too. Gaffney, Caldwell, Troy Brown...yes!

- Speaking of Troy Brown, how many HUGE little plays (if that makes sense) has he made over this run? Blocked kick / punt return in the 2001 AFC CC, playing 25 snaps of defense against the 49 TD Manning Colts in 2004 divisional, huge catch to setup the GW FG in SB XXXVI. Truly amazing all around football player.

I'm not sure what to think of this game against the Colts. The Colts defense is playing better, and the Patriots really can't show Peyton anything he hasn't seen before at this point. They have played each other so many times over the couple years. Logic and history tells me that the Pats will win. Belichick is usually great with the same season rematches. But, I'm not really that confident.

Jan 13, 2007

Divisional Round picks

I know I'm a little late here, but I had these picks made and in before kick off. I'll try to capture my thoughts before the games...

Bal 27, Ind 17. I was completely 100% with Derek on this - Peyton hasn't proved himself ever on the road in the playoffs; he's going to start now in Baltimore?

Well, it turns out he didn't - 170 yds, 0 TD/2Int - but McNair and the Ravens O were awful.

I think this is one prediction I am very, very happy to get wrong.

By the way, how bad are sportswriters? Peyton's comment after the game:
"I'm not sure if we ever won one before in the nine years I've played here without scoring a touchdown. My guess is no," Manning said.

Well, it took me 20 seconds to bring this up. I swear, am I the only one that can recite games from 3-4 years ago?

New Orleans 34, Philadelphia 17. I thought NO would put up some scores; I never would have guessed that Garcia and the Philly O would look this good.

Chicago 16, Seattle 13. Seattle - or Rex Grossman - will find ways to keep this close. As the Miller High Life delivery guy may say...."you're giving 9 1/2 points with Rex Grossman as your QB? You're out of your freaking mind....".

San Diego 27, New England 20. San Diego is too talented, guys. And New England is not that good. They lost to the Jets! Let me remind you that even Cleveland beat the Jets.

Speaking of Cleveland, we have Bill Belichick vs Marty Schottenheimer in this game. Does this mean that the 2014 NFC Championship Game would be Chris Palmer's Minnesota Vikings vs. Butch Davis's Dallas Cowboys? God, this is sickening.

Oh wow - Bush just dropped the pitch with 3 minutes left. Wow.

Anyway, the final stats for the picks:

Week 17:
Eric : 8-8; overall: 140-124-8
Derek: 0-0; overall: 125-131-1
even if Derek went 16-0 in week 17, it wouldn't make a difference.

Eric last week: 3-1. Now overall: 143-125-8

6 picks this week:
Bal -4
NO -5.5
Phi/NO Over 48.5
Sea +9.5
Chi/Sea Under 37
SD -4.5

picks

So the wedding and honeymoon sidetracked my picks. It sucks since I did fairly well on the bowl picks but couldn't get to a computer or to a phone to call in my picks. Did very well for the first round of the playoffs. No biggie. I concede to Eric.

I'm so freaking giddy about the games this weekend. Colts-Ravens and Chargers-Pats. Holy Shit. I don't remember being this excited about playoff games in a long time. You could make so many arguments for each of these 4 teams to win this game:

Colts:
When was the last time they lost to the Ravens?
Ravens:
Great defense and they are going up against gold ole Peyton.
Chargers:
Best team playing at home.
Pats:
Seems to be peaking at the right time and are going up against Marty.

I'm going with the Braves theory in the AFC this weekend: Don't go against a trend until proven wrong. Peyton will choke and Marty will find a way to lose. Pats and Ravens.

In the NFC, I really have no clue. I'm tired of betting on bad QBs. I'm tired of sitting on the edge of my seat every week watching some shit QB trying to drive 70 yards in the 4th quarter and throwing a bonehead interception costing me another $100. I won't do it anymore. I can't. Grossman is possibly the worst QB I've seen on a good team since, well I don't know actually. I haven't seen this type of play from a QB in a long time. And then there is Hasselback. He is a punk and can't be trusted. Can I bet that the defenses in this game will score more than the offense? Garcia...not bad, but I'm waiting for the wheels to come off. So then there is Brees. But who has New Orleans beat? Philly and Dallas. Hmmm. OK. I'll go with them I guess.

So here are my wagers:
Ravens
Pats
Saints
Seattle and Chicago's defense will score more than both of their offenses.

Jan 11, 2007

Honeymoon Part 2

So married life is starting. I was told once I got home I was to retract two comments I made about Carol in the prior post.

1. Carol was not confused when I left the table. She fully understood.
2. It was only awkward for about 30 minutes in the car ride to Dulles and not 5 hours just in case anyone was wondering.

Well now, can anyone help me find my balls? (retraction for this comment will be on the next post)

Onto the other random comments about the honeymoon:

1. Drink Service- Jose on the pool deck was my best friend. He remembered my name after the second order and was following me around the entire trip. Once again, not in an annoying way but in a fantastic drunkards fantasy type of way. Carol or I were never without a beer or a cocktail whenever we were on that deck.

2. Mexico- What a fucking dump. WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE DUMP!!!!! Mexican Riveria sounds like such a nice place, but in all honesty I would rather spend 10 days at The Riviera casino in Vegas. First stop Acapulco. DUMP. We didn't plan anything to do off the ship since we sort of wanted to just walk around. We get there and get off the boat and we are instantly mobbed by 100 guys trying to get us into a cab. Best case scenario if we got into one of these guy's cabs would be that Carol would be kidnapped and I would end up dead in the gutter. BEST CASE!!! After 1/4 mile and 40 minutes later we make it to a museum. The main fort to the port. Had some cool stuff and had some weird local cultural shit like how the people in Acapulco celebrate the leopard. Sounds OK at first until you see some of the costumes that they dress up in once a year to do some dances and shit. Now I'm not joking when I say this, but I really think they stole some PJs from Freddie and Warren and just put them in an exhibit. Carol and I could not stop laughing at all the pictures and the "real" costumes they had there on display. I wish we had a camera. Went back to the boat, dropped off some stuff and then took a cab ride to the ghetto to go to a market that someone was talking about. This market makes the Compton swap meet seem like Tyson's corner. We walked around for about an hour and listened to every man, women, and kid's pitch to buy their crap. You can tell how crappy something is, when you ask them the price and they tell you that it is $250. Then you walk away and it is now $150. Then you walk out the door and all of a sudden it is now $50. This happened several times. We made it back to the boat safe and sound.

3. Next stop- Izxaptan- Never saw the town. Carol got sick, went to the infirmary and I read "Liar's Poker" by Michael Lewis. Excellent book and an excellent topic. I believe that this was probably 10 times better than being molested again by 25 older men trying to get me into their cab or being tugged on by 3 80 year old women to buy their pottery.

4. Next stop- Mazallino- Biggest port in Mexico. And you know what happens by Mexicans have real jobs? They don't bother you when you get off the boat. One 2 taxi guys there when Carol and I got off the boat to go do a snorkel excursion. We get on the boat to go to this little island to do some snorkeling and I'm actually excited. Nice sites, you can actually see the hills and houses since the pollution isn't too bad, and the weather was excellent. But as we get closer, Carol and I notice that the water is pretty dirty. Still pretty green. We drop anchor and Carol and I are now just so confused. Snorkeling in dirty green water? Doesn't sound like much fun. So Carol and I jump in and the guide takes us over to the supposed coral. On the way there the water just smells like crap and you can't see anything in the water. As we are swimming I tap Carol on the shoulder, I get all excited and to tell her that I think I just saw Hepatitis B right below us. This made Carol laugh and intake about a gallon worth of dirty Mexican green water. Great now my wife won't be able to have kids because of one of my jokes. Anyway we get back on board and go home to some great tunes that is pumping on the boat by the local Mexicans. Nothing like listening to the Macarena and watching middle aged women dance to it. This I did get a picture of.

5. The rest of the time was spent on the ocean. Just wonderful. I can't say enough about it. And guess what happened????? Yup, I had some lime. Blew up just as bad as I did on my wedding night. Swallowed about 3 pills, threw up, and passed out.

6. Boat Activities- The boat really doesn't plan anything for you if you are between the ages of 25-50. Most of the things are geared to young kids and older adults. That is probably why cruises get a bad rap. But what else do you want to do other than lay out on the top deck, swim, drink, eat, go to the spa, gamble, ping pong, basketball, workout, driving range, and play putt putt. There are also about 3-4 different night clubs for dancing which Carol and I never made it to. We were in bed by 9:00 almost every night since we drank and ate too much during the day.

All in all, it was one of the best times I've ever had on vacation.

Honeymoon Thoughts

I was going to post about the wedding, reception, and the honeymoon all in one, but there seems to be a gazillion pictures out there right now addressing each minute of 2 out of the 3. I had a blast at the wedding despite several bad things happening:

1. Lime- Who puts lime in dip? Didn't see that one coming. Sorry to everyone for not saying goodnight. And lets just say that the next morning was very awkward with Carol driving to the airport. Very tense. Thank god for several of you calling and making Carol and I laugh to break up the silence.

2. The Wedding Cake- Smurf blue was not the color that we wanted. How does light blue get turned into smurf blue? A little confused on that one. And it was supposed to be chocolate and vanilla on the inside and instead it tasted like rye and pumpernickel. And to top it off, someone ate a piece of the top part during the night. I'm looking at you Jonny.

3. The Music- It took just one jackass to screw up everything Lee and I worked on the night before for the mix. I hope I have a chance to repay Carol's brother for this. Somehow...Someway I will do it.

4. Dulles- Fuck that airport. What a clusterfuck of a place. What was the reasoning behind that model? And does anything go out ontime from that place? We spent one hour sitting on the tarmac waiting for something, which I'm still in the dark about. And Jetblue for some reason does not carry ABC as a channel, so I couldn't watch the USC game.

5. Richie- I felt so bad for him. I have never seen someone so uncomfortable before. Does anyone know if he is OK?

Now onto the honeymoon. We went on a Carnival Cruise to Mexico. It was a huge risk taking a cruise for a honeymoon since neither of us had cruised before and I hate people and kids, but it fit our time schedule and it left from San Diego so it was very convenient. I've only heard bad things from people our age who have cruised before like, it is old and dirty, you have to do a bunch of group stuff, all you do is eat, and it is extremely corny. Well some of this is true and some of it is false. On a whole, the trip exceeded my expectations. Below are some key comments:

1. The room- Very impressive. We ended up paying some extra money for a suite, and it was well worth it. Very nice. And the service was second only to the Four Seasons. We had a designated cabin steward that worked about 10 rooms and was outstanding. Everytime we left the room, he was in there cleaning up, refilling the ice, making some weird towel animals, folding our clothes, cleaning the bathroom, and refreshing the mini bar and other drinks. We had a little pager for him and the longest it ever took him to respond was 20 seconds. He was there everytime we went back in the room and he greeted us by name and asked certain key questions allowing him to better serve us. He even delivered us our morning paper (The Carnival Caper) in bed one morning. He was not overbearing either. Just perfect.

2. The Casino- Might as well just get to the good stuff right? Solid casino with enough tables to appease me. $5 limits on two roulette, one craps table, Let it Ride, Caribbean Stud, 3 Card Poker, and about 6 BJ tables. Now lets breakdown each of these:
  • Roulette- Nothing special. Same odds as a regular casino. Nothing fishy going on in my eyes. I played a couple of times and broke even. I played once when they were breaking in a new dealer from the slots. Painful. Absolutely painful to watch. It took him about 3 minutes to make payouts. All in all though, this was easily in line with Vegas.
  • Craps- Looks as if they didn't have enough staff to keep this open full time, so it would be open for 1 hour and then closed for 1 hour. And sometimes they only had a stick man and one dealer, so half the table was open. No big deal since the 6-7 times I played, I only rolled with someone else twice. All but one dealer was on par with Vegas. They were quick, funny, and could catch my chips that I tossed out. My only bad experience was with Helen. She was the stick man one afternoon I was rolling with Carol. First, since it was only Carol and I on the table, I was taking my time rolling since I was explaining everything to Carol. She understands some of the stuff but not everything so I was explaining some of the payouts and bets. During one of my explanations to Carol, Helen stated that I needed to roll. "Um....no I don't. Calm down." She responded with "You need to roll." I stopped stared her down and told her to calm down again and went back into my explanation to Carol. She took the dice away from me and then when I was ready gave me a shitty like smirk. What a bitch. Then I opened the table by rolling a 6 and then placed a come bet and then rolled a 4. The come bet was placed on the 4 and I put double odds. I then rolled a 10 (no come bet for me) and was about to roll again, when Helen told the dealer to move my come bet from the 4 to the 10. The dealer did this and I stopped and questioned her why she did this. Her response was "you had a come bet and you rolled a 10". Um no, I rolled a 4 and placed my odds and then I rolled a 10. She got pissy with me and I asked to talk to the pit boss. There is no real pit boss on the boat, only dealers. OK, then check the cameras. She then asked the other dealer if she was right and my boy Al (the other dealer at the opposite end of the table) told her she was wrong. This was the second time she pissed me off at the table. I picked up my chips and left. Carol was a little confused on why I did this, but with the negative karma on that table I was bound to loss money. Al ended up coming over to the BJ table to apologize to me about Helen. Fuck Helen.
  • Craps continued-By the end of the trip I had the dealers buying me drinks. No lie. I think it was because I was falling back into my old tipping days which I swore I would never do again. I hit back to back hard 8s with 5 dollars for the dealers on both, and hit a bunch of points with money for the dealers on the line. I even did a come bet for the dealers and hit it. By the last day I think I promised them all jobs. Good times.
  • Craps- double odds only. When they told me this, I was shocked and then the dealer said, "well just bet more on your initial bet" with me saying that it sort of defeats the purpose of odds. He looked confused and I tried to explain the house advantage and he just nodded and I decided to just drop it. Double odds?? I guess I can live with that at a $5 table.
  • Craps- Did fairly well. This one kid and I rolled by ourselves and was hitting every 4, 10, and hard 8. For about 10 minutes it went 10, hard 8, 4, 4, 10. It was wonderful.
  • Was told only once to lower the height of my rolls. At an empty table I guess I have a tendency to launch my dice about 5 feet in the air. I was also told once to lower the toss of my chips for the hard ways. I was getting a good 1 foot bounce on the ones that the stickman couldn't catch. That actually made me laugh outloud and apologize.
  • Black jack- They only had one normal BJ table. All the other tables were some other type of jacked up BJ. The one that Carol and I ended up playing the most was the wheel of fortune BJ. Add $1-$5 to each bet and if you get a BJ, then you get to spin the wheel. A lot of fun. I sat there for 5 hours with Carol and a full table and never spun the wheel once. Everyone else spun it at least 3-4 times. I started to sound like one of those old jewish ladies by the 5th hour, complaining that I never get to spin the wheel.
  • BJ continued- Another table had everyone's cards up, dealers included. Odds were all jacked up and I think the dealer could stay on some weird combination of cards, so I stayed away from that one.
  • BJ continued- I'm a little upset I didn't play this one. It was a table where the odds were normal, except you lost on all ties. You had to play two hands and you had the option to switch the second card with your other hand. Very interesting and sounds like a lot of fun. You also had the option in this one to double down anytime you wanted. 3rd card, 4th card, it didn't matter. I wish I would of taken some time to play this, but I was so obsessed with the BJ wheel. By the way, I never ended up spinning the wheel during the entire trip.
  • BJ continued- Well it looks as if I'm back in my 2000-2004 BJ cycle. I did not have one winning session. Lost about a grand. I was playing my winning progressive plan, and I don't think I ever made it up to a $30 hand.
  • BJ continued- Lee and Wiz, I finally agree with you. I hate shuffle machines and will never play them again. No joke either. Something is very fishy about this. Very, very fishy.
  • Dealers- Mostly Russian with only one dealer from South Africa. One dealer was Russian and had married someone from Iowa City. No joke. Very professional and friendly and was in line with Vegas.
  • Pit boss- um....There is no pit boss. Wiz, I know that you are looking into the cruise line casinos and a big point here is that there is no manager. Well I think I did see a manager, but he wasn't behind the tables and was just wandering around the floor and stayed mainly behind the cage. The acting pit boss was the dealer that wasn't dealing. For example if there were 5 tables open and 6 dealers, the 6th dealer was the pit boss. I never saw any mismanagement of money, so it probably wasn't that big of a deal, but still, where is the oversight?
  • Poker- They had two Texas Holdem tables. They were regulation 11 person tables, but they had no dealers. This caught my eye so I went over there to inspect and saw that the tables were all computerized. Very interesting. Each player had their own monitor with the middle of the table showing the pot size and the common cards. Asked a guy how he liked it and he said that it went so much faster this way and didn't mind it at all. Very interesting.

I have to get back to work now, so I will continue with some of the other items later on today.

Jan 10, 2007

I hate United and other stories

I hear Derek is back, so be prepared for a flood of posts from Derek on his thoughts on the wedding, honeymood, and retarded craps dealers.

In the meantime....

1) I hate United. Trip to Iowa Sunday night; they lost my luggage in Chicago. I guess 90 minutes was too short of a layover. Return trip: cancelled my flight out of Cedar Rapids; next flight that night is already delayed and wouldn't get me in for my connection; and all other flights out of Cedar Rapids were booked.

Hello, Rent a car. One way trip for $55 rental fee.

2) Had time to stop at the Par-A-Dice casino; won a significant amount but delayed my drive. A good tradeoff!

3) Poll for our readers: text-messaging while driving: acceptable or not? I say yes, if on a lonely interstate at 10 at night.

4) Bad product placement: Stopped at one of those gas stations/fast food restaurants that have both under one roof. This one had an A&W Root Beer restaurant in the gas super mar. A&W, of course, sells hot dogs. The SuperMart also had hot dogs - the greasy dogs that were on those heated rollers.

Which one would you choose?

Actually, maybe it's not that obvious of a question. One of the best dogs I ever had was on Spring Break '92 driving to South Carolina - we stopped in a gas station at 2 am on I-77 somewhere in WV - and those hot dogs on rollers were calling to me. 2 for 99 cents! I think I ate 6 the rest of the night in the car. How long were they there on rollers? Who knows!

Why don't we just scratch that question and move on...

5) So I'm walking in the Dayton Airport at 2 am after returning the keys to my car; I pass by a bank of public phones and one starts to ring. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - is in the airport.

I thought about answering it, didn't, and immediately regretted it. Who is calling a pay phone at 2 am in an airport?

6) What a disappointment the title game on Monday was. The talk here in Ohio is if Ted Ginn- the star WR for the Buckeyes - hurt his ankle in the return TD celebration on the opening kickoff. Here is the picture from the celebration. Does this answer the question?



7) I am sad to report that today I am constitutionally eligible to run for President.

Jan 6, 2007

NFL Playoff Picks


First, anyone catch the Blue Jackets' game last night?

(chirp chirp)

All right, on to the picks:

Ind 34, KC 24: I sent this in before kickoff. Looks great now, huh? 3 INTs already for Peyton - and we are in the middle of the 3rd quarter and KC has ZERO first downs. Looks like that Cleveland - Houston game last week.

Sea 27, Dal 17. Romo's first playoff start on the road? Uh, no.

NE 28, NYJ 10. I have a feeling Belichick will rub this one in. The Jets just don't have the talent.

Phil 20, NYG 13. I predict a turnover fest.

Picks:

Ind -7
Sea -2.5
NE -9
Phi/NYG Under 46

Jan 5, 2007

Post Wedding Blog

Well, I am back - got back Tuesday evening - and this is the first real chance I have had to post after Derek's wedding. Where to start on the events of the past weekend?

First of all, those of you who weren't there but have seen the pciture that Brad posted in the comments on Derek's post may wonder what the hell happened. Well, the groom (Derek) had to be seen by an ambulance on his wedding night. Derek is allergic to limes, and around 10:30 pm he apparently had some lime juice or something. He broke out into a rash, and then had some trouble breathing. We piled into a Pathfinder in search of an open fire dept/police - would one be open on the Outer Banks at 11:45 pm on New Years Eve? I finally got the idea to call 911 from my cell - the last call on my phone in 2006.

Sometime between 11:45 on 12/31 and 12:15 on 1/1 the ambulance came and checked Derek out - his vital signs were good, so they released him. The 14 tablets of Benadryl would be sufficient, they said. So that's how I spent New Year's 2007 - watching my brother be checked out by an ambulance.

(The other guy in the picture, Chris, is a friend of Carol's from California who mysteriously cut his head around 9 pm or so - no one knows what happened, including Chris himself. Alcohol may -MAY, I emphasize - have been a factor. )

Quick recap of the weekend's events:
Thu night: arrive late after a 15 hours drive. It's a lot longer than you think from OH to the Outer Banks. Drink a little and break out the blackjack shoe, with Leland one of the players; the other players are there for fun and I know their playing strategy was KILLING Leland.

Fri: I had kid duty as the ladies had their shower. After taking the kids to the beach, I put Warren down for a nap and joined two Franco guys in the hot tub. The first question I heard was: "So what DO the French provide the world nowadays?" . When I answered - "well, they manufacture the world's supply of white flags" I fit in with them. More drinking that night, although I didn't overdo it.

Sat: The rehearsal occured, which took all of about 20 minutes. I ended up doing a lot of shuttling that day - back and forth from the "mainland", the set of hotels that are on the road. Janice took the kids to the sand dunes that afternoon; they were WIPED out at the dinner that night; Warren slept for about 90 minutes on the couch in the dining room at the rehearsal dinner. One of the Franco brothers took a couple of beer bottles, laid them next to Warren, and took a few pictures. I'm sure I'll see them soon. Freddie turned into a barfly, sitting at the bar for about 30 minutes during the cocktail hour and downed about 3 Shirley Temples.

Sun: Wedding day; the morning was spent walking with Derek on the beach ( I was half-expecting one of the cold feet talks, but no - Derek seemed nervous, but postiive about the idea of being married), and an hour was spent constructing temporary stairs at the bottom of the permanent stairway from the deck to the ocean.

We gathered for the wedding around 1:30; the TV was set on the Det-Dal game. Why the hell wasn't the local station showing Cle-Hou? Derek seemed frazzled, but nothing out of the ordinary. Jon, Ben, Leland, and I were using a lot of slapstick comedy - that's what she said - to lighten the mood. At 3:00 , we went down to the beach; the wedding went off on time around 3:35. At 4:00 we were done; good thing, since it started to get cold quickly. During the ceremony, Leland leaned over and whispered "14-6, Texans, Final". I hope my "Fuck!" wasn't audible.

The rest of the night was a blur - meeting everyone, helping to make sure the kids are OK, drinking a few SoCo and cranberry juice - I have no idea why I chose that drink - and then was called to taxi people back to the hotels. It was about 10:00 when I got back and opened up the craps table; and then at 10:30 the fun started.

I can't tell you how nice it was to see everyone again and to meet Derek's "new" friends and work colleagues. And the ceremony and reception was great. And I didn't screw up the best man speech! How about that!

Two regrets:
1) I wish I got more drunk, at least one of the nights. Oh well, I guess that's what Vegas is for.
2) Pager was spotty and no cable in the house I stayed in. Boy, was I out of touch for 4 days. Yes, I I have a problem.

Post your stories in the comment section! Hope all of you have as good a time as Janice and I!

Jan 2, 2007

THANK YOU

Before I head out the Mexico where they drink and cook everything with lime, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that came to the wedding. I had a blast despite my wedding night but why would I expect this to go any other way. Still not used to this ring on my finger though. I'll have some additional posts when I get back.