Meeting Expectations

Had a very interesting conversation with a guy who owns his own company last weekend about the current situation for service. He said that running a business in today's environment is extremely easy because all you need to do is deliver on what you promise, since so many companies can't even do that. He said that customers now are excited if you just deliver on what you promise, not when you go above and beyond expectations.

It is absolutely astounding how accurate this is, since I just moved and had to deal with the big offenders of poor customer service, and here how it went:

Cable: Had to cancel my Adelphia Cable two times and then just received a bill for Aug service today. Called up Adelphia and spent 30 minutes getting my account closed. New service with Cox Cable took 3 service calls to finally get everything set up. Our digital box has blown out twice now, and I still don't have my MLB package. I could just switch to Direct TV, but they absolutely screwed me about 4 years ago and I will never go back to them.

Phone: Had MCI service and just wanted to switch locations and told me it will take three weeks. Asked them why, since when I changed to them, it only took a couple of hours, they did not have a response. After two weeks without service, I called and they said it would take another two weeks. Ended up cancelling them on that call, and switched to SBC. SBC couldn't get their act together and I still don't have a home phone. Ugh. Wouldn't mind switching to Cox digital phone, but I don't trust them either, so I'll just sit here an wait. Spent about 2 hours dealing with this.

Gas and Electric: Shut off service and had a $40 credit, and a check was supposed to come. Nothing as of yet, but I received a bill and now I only have a $25 credit since someone moved into my old place and is now using my account. Spent about 35 minutes dealing with this.

Its just amazing how crappy service is everywhere out there right. The customer's expectations are set so low right now, and they still can't meet them, that it is no wonder why there are so many attorneys out there.

TV Update

Serious hangover this morning that it is even tough to move my fingers to even type this.

Haven't been watching too much TV but here are a couple shows I've been trying to keep current on.

Laguna Beach: This becoming one of the best shows on TV, but I feel so dirty watching it. Austin nailed the rumor a while back that the one girl was dating Matt Leinart. How can poor Steven compete against Matt Leinart. And this girl Casey is off the charts. Imagining bringing her home to mom just makes me laugh for hours.

Bobby Brown Show: Nothing surprises me about Bobby. He reminds me of some of the guys I play poker with at Hollywood Park; drunk, very talkative, hilarious, and eventually gets out of control but it is all in fun. Now Whitney....Jesus. What the hell has happened to her. In meetings I'm going to start singing everything like she does. I'm not going to put up with this today. Hate to say this, but I sort of understand why he beats her.

Real World: Love it that the guys are taking advantage of the fact that they are on Real World. The groupie drawer is such a solid idea, but I think this is the end of Real World for me.

Blow Out: Nothing like watching a grown man cry over hair. What am I going to do for 10 months before the next season starts up.

sushi bar

Quick question for everyone here. When you sit at the bar at a sushi restaurant, do you tip the waitress and the sushi chef, or only the waitress?

Everyone relax....

My good friend over at Hereford Nine wrote something the other day about marriage that I would like to comment on, since I think he might be misunderstood a little.

Over the years, most of my friends have gotten married. While all but two have remained married, they go against the grain on the success of marriage as they are all still happily married. Most of them have kids now, or they are on their way. I can't say anything negative about their marriages, and the complaints that I hear from them about their wives are minimal. Some are more whipped than others and over the years I have come to the conclusion that this is driven by them and not their wives. And for my friends that have stopped going on vacation with us to Vegas or golfing have valid reasons like, "Well Derek, I don't think I could leave my son with my wife for a weekend." This makes sense and I have no problem with that. What tends to get me are the comments from my friends, relatives, and co-workers about why I'm not married. To sum it up, I'm selfish. Getting married is not a top priority of mine. That is not to say that dating women is not a top priority, despite what people might say on this blog, but I'm not going to compromise my top priorities to get married. I enjoy the fact that I can wake up on Saturday and work-out, go play some poker or golf or go to the track. Or maybe I'll just hang out in my underwear and play 8 hours of Madden on the XBox. I can also decide to go back to school for my MBA. If I have to work late or work a weekend, I don't have to get approval first. Some people call this immature, while I call it being selfish and doing what makes me happy. When I find a women that likes to either do this with me or gives me the freedom to do these things, then I'll get married.

Not ALL married people that I know are unhappy. As I said above, ALL of my friends are happily married, with the exception of those who are now divorced. Now if I talk to the same number of my co-workers, they would have the exact opposite response. So what is the difference? Location? Race? Age? Salary Bracket? Well, the only thing in common is that the happily married friends are younger (30 or younger), while the unhappily married folks tend to be in their late 30s-50s. Is it that they come to a point in their lives where they realize that their life is almost over and they have wasted it doing things they don't want to do and compromised their own needs? Is this why in most marriages the best case scenario is 10 good years, a couple of kids, followed by someone cheating on someone else and then a messy divorce. It has to be along those lines, or I wouldn't hear all the complaints, see all the sleazy office relationships between married people, and the divorce rate wouldn't be near 50%. That is the point I think my friend was trying to make.

And one last note. The comments about my friends post wasn't what I was expecting. They were more of a personal attack on him, instead of a defense to marriage.

Del Mar

Every so often, I'm blown away by certain places or events that impress me beyond my wildest imagination. OK, maybe I'm going a little overboard, but there are some things that stick out in my mind that have exceeded my expectations over the years like:

• First time out to Vegas at the Monte Carlo
  
• First time out to Vegas during the NCAA Tournament
  
• Cole Field House
  
• US Track and Field Championships
  
• Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium
  
• Telluride
  
• Maui
  
• Girona, Spain
  
• Terps win at the Chic Filet Bowl
  
• Dog Pound in old Municipal Stadium
  

Well on Saturday I ventured down to Del Mar Racetrack. My buddy's brother in law, who is easily the brightest and sharpest horse handicapper that I know, has told me over the years that Del Mar is the greatest place to go for horses. Well, I finally went down to the track on Saturday and let me say that this place is absolutely amazing. The track is set up right off of the PCH and is about one mile from the beach, so its stays nice and cool, despite it being extremely sunny. I'm used to being in minority when I go to the track, but this time I was outnumbered by hot young women instead of old grandfathers. The women were all dressed up in their spring dresses and tank tops. Absolutely amazing. Next time I go, which will probably be this weekend, I must do my research before I get to the track, since I was too distracted to study my forms. Anyway, they have several restaurants located right next to the track, which looks like a blast. All the seats allow you to view the action and they are all outside. They open the inside of the track for families and picnics, and serve the usual carnival food. The bulk of the seating was reserved box seats, that cost only $10 dollars to get. Not too bad, but they were sold out on the day of the race, so I'll make sure I plan ahead and grab one of the seats. In all, there were probably 30,000 people at the track at least, and it didn't seem packed at all. It had the atmosphere of Preakness sanz the white trash. It was just a huge party!

When people complain about horseracing and how a track can attract people under the age of 50, here is the answer. Set up a nice track that allows for families, the younger crowd, and the old crew to all coexist, which will drive up revenues, and then in turn bring better races to the track. When you compare Hollywood Park to Del Mar, you can see why Del Mar is the premier track and not Hollywood Park, despite Hollywood Park having slots. I'm surprised more tracks have not followed suit with this type of atmosphere.

Golf update

We head to Des Moines today for the 103rd Iowa Amateur Championship.

18 holes on Monday and Tuesday, with a cut down to the low 60 for the final round on Wednesday. You can follow all the action on iowagolf.org; the tournament sends out people at the 9th and 18th greens to get 9-hole scores and post them on the internet during the round. Hopefully, you all will see a "36" around 3:15 Monday afternoon, and not a "44".

The heat here is oppresive; today I'll have a practice round with the high being 100 and the heat index being 115. What the hell is this, Phoenix?

Hot and humid Monday with a high of 94; chance of strong T-storms on Tuesday, with the high of 85. Back to you, Ron.

Two more NFL notes

I just posted my NFL blog entry, only to find out these tidbits:

1) Do we need a reality show titled "Being Ross Verba"? According to this link, we do.
How do you request this from the hotel?
"Yes, this is Mr. Verba in room 1225. I need 135 bottles of champagne.
Thank you. Oh, and can you pre-shake them?"

2) Is it true that the new offensive coordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers is..... Matt Cavanaugh?
The same Matt Cavanaugh who was run out of town by Baltimore and hated by most Ravens fans?

Really?

(smile is on my face)

Football is just around the corner!

I was in Walgreen's the other day, waiting for a prescprition to be filled ("come back in 10 minutes.... yeah, right... how about 58 minutes") when I rifled through the magazine rack.

All the NFL preview magazines are stocked. It's time for football season!

What a wonderful time of the year. Training camp starts, August flies by and then...voila! It's time for 17 Sundays of NFL heaven.

Some beginning notes this year:
1) Can't wait to see Charlie Frye in action.
2) The Browns are not interested in signing Peter Boulware. As of this moment, no reason is given for this.
3) Did I really see Dr. Z say that the over/under in Vegas for teh # of Browns wins is,,,, four? 4? I mean, jeesh. I'm not predicting playoffs or anything, but we are better team than last year's 4 win team.
Derek or Leland, do you have a link to the latest over/under win totals for the NFL?
4) I need help deciding what jersey to buy this year. My closet is full of Tim Couch, Jeff Garcia, and Eric Metcalf (old school) jerseys. I do have a white Willie Green jersey, but I have a feeling he may be gone soon.
My choices for a new jersey are:
Winslow
Andre Davis (WR)
Frye
Suggs
I mean, I don't have 100% confidence that those guys will be around another 3 years. I don't want to keep buying a jersey every year. That's the price of rooting for a team that has sucked.
5) For those with Direct TV, they are a offering a new service for a price. The premium package consists of:
- all games in HD (I don't have it....yet)
- the "red zone" channel - a channel that will flip to games where a team is inside the 20 yard line
- a channel with 8 split screens showing 8 games at once. However, this may not top the all-time greatest split screen I have ever seen, a Spanish-language Mexican "talk show" that was split into 4 to show everyone's reaction when Maria tells Jose about her affair. (I guess you really had to be here. Derek, Jay and I thought it was the most hilarious thing we ever saw)
- and, at the end of Sunday's games, they will edit each game into a 30-minute commerical free show, showing every play for the game. The shows for each game will then be "looped" until next week's action.
For fantasy players, this is heaven.

Tom Jackson doesn't make the list??????????

This is easily the best thing I have seen in years. The 64 person bracket for the most hated person on ESPN. As Aaron Gleeman wrote, "Seriously, if you can't see the genius in that, I don't think we can be friends."

http://www.bravesbeat.com/bravesjournal/bristol/

All you do is go to the comment section and post who you vote for. Very cool. Each Regional is given a Team that ESPN over-hypes which is pretty entertaining in itself.

My Great Eight ended up being:

Duke Regional: (The Vitale vs. Cohen matchup actually made me think for about 5 minutes)
(16) Linda Cohen: I actually hate her and I don't mind Vitale, so I took her all the way
(2) Bayless: It says loads about ESPN with him being ranked number 2 seed

Cowboys Regional: (Reynolds vs. Salisbury is like the classic 8-9 matchup. Should be a great game)
(1) Berman: The idiot actually takes away from each sport he broadcasts
(6)Tony Reili: All I need to say about this guy is "Stat Boy"

Lakers Regional: (Probably the most likeable group with Patrick, Michaels, Wilbon, Rome, Goldber, Walton, and my favorite in Stephen A. Smith. This one was tough. I actually liked most of these guys, even the ones below, at one point in time)
(8) Paul Maguire: I used to really like him but has ruined Sunday night football for me. Tough second round matchup against Stephen A Smith, who I actually enjoy.
(2) Michael Irvin: I loved him on the Dan Patrick show. He was amazing!!! But now he just yells.

Yankees-Red Sox Regional (Easily the toughest with Theisman, Morgan, Kruk, Lupica, Grey, Golic, and Clayton not making it to the finals)
(1) Stuart Scott: Fix his lazy eye and maybe I would of gone with Kruk in this bracket, but I just hate Scott so much.
(6) Woody Paige: Him and Bayless ruin a halfway decent morning show in Cold Pizza.

Final Four: Bayless, Berman, Maguire, and Scott with Berman and Scott squaring off with Berman winning at the buzzer.

Movies

Extremely busy right now at work, but wanted to put out a thread here to discuss the most underrated movies over the past 20 years. Watched Rounders and Step into Liquid, which are two of my top five most underrated movies. The third-fifth movies you ask? Well, I think they would be Spartan, You Got Served, and Tears of the Sun.

Anyway, over the weekend, I'm putting together the most underrated list, along with a movie ranking system that Ben and I have been talking about during our nightly drinkfests.

So what are your most underrated movies? It can't be shit like Pulp Fiction and Godfather, since they received proper recognition. Basically it would be movies that if you stumbled upon HBO, you wouldn't change the channel if you were alone, but possibly deny ever watching it when the boys were around.

Tivo and the Beast

How long will it take for XM or Sirius Radio to have a Tivo like product? If you hear a song that you like, you can press a button to record it and it stores about 4 hours worth of music. I'm surprised no one has come up with this yet? Charge an extra 5 dollars per month for this service, and you have your own little XM jukebox. I don't believe that there are any copyright issues that would be different than the Tivo product for TV. Any insight out there?

Secondly, does anyone know how much a case of Beast is? It must of gone up to $7.00 a case since they are now advertising during the World Series of Poker. The Milwaukee Best Poker Cam cracks me up everytime I see it. Why do they advertise? Who is in their marketing department? Why waste the money for ads, when the only people who buy their beer are poor college students? Would anyone on this site buy a case now, because of their ads? I do have to say that their ads are pretty funny.

Hot Dog Rollup

Here's a fun recipe that you can all try at home. Derek, I'm looking in your direction....

Who's your mentor?

As I am watching the ESPN WSOP marathon, two questions strike me:

1) At the poker table, which famous personality are you most similar to?
2) Who do you root for in the tournaments.

I think #1 for me is easy - I most resemble Dan Harrington. I need one of the flat-brimmed hats. ( I wish I had Marcel Luske's personality, though).
For #2, I've always liked Humberto Brenes. Don't know why.

History of the Caribbean

So I'm in my Kaplan class last night and they handed out the results of our Diagnostic tests from last week, and lets just say that I have a lot of work to do and plenty of room for improvement. But when I saw what percentile I scored it, it reminded me of a class back in college called History of the Caribbean.

In my Senior year at UM, Jay and I took a history elective called History of the Caribbean. Not too sure why we choose this class, but it started out poorly with our Prof being late to class since he was having Visa problems and couldn't get back into the country. Also, on first day of class, Jay made a stated that "If this asshole pulls down the map and points to the islands and says, this is the Caribbean, I'm leaving." Well the prof pulls down the map and points right at the islands and says "Well, this is the Caribbean." Before he even finished, Jay was up and out of the room, looking back at me and waiting for him to join him. Jay convinced me to come with him with the promise of taco boats and three hours of Doom.

One of the funniest moments in my college career was in this class when we just took the first written exam, and I thought I did OK. 4 questions, and I filled out an entire book. I got my tests back before Jay did, and I'm looking for a score and on the inside of the book, there was the number 3. Jay asked what I got, and I said, I think a 3. Well maybe its out of 4, with each question worth one point. Well while we were having this conversation, the prof stated that the total points on the exam was 30. Jay and I just busted out laughing, and we packed up and went and got more taco boats and played more Doom.

Anyway, I'm hoping that the GMATS will turn out just like the History of the Caribbean class, with a disappointing score at the beginning, with me coming on strong at the end.

Regrets

Would you rather have regrets about the things you have done or things you didn't do?

Vanity Fair

I don't know how many in this audience read Vanity Fair, but I received a subscription for my birthday from relatives. Didn't really know much about VF when I got it, but I have been very pleased. Intelligent, funny, sexy, cosmopolitan, and topical. Anyway, this month's issue is so-so, with features on Martha Stewart post-prison, the Guggenheim in NYC, and something about the chick who runs Jimmy Choo shoes.

However, there is one reason to seek out this month's issue the next time you are at the grocery store, and that is a fantastic article on Elle Macpherson. To be honest, I'm only about halfway through the article, but the pictures are amazing. She is stunning--and not just for a 42-year old. Lohan, Hilton, Aniston, whoever Maxim is featuring this week, you can take 'em all (and trust me, I would). But Macpherson puts them all to shame. If it's possible, she's even better than I remember. I wish I could post some pictures here, but there was nothing online. In the magazine, there are 5-6 pages of pictures that are not to be missed.

DVD Burners

Anyone have any thoughts on what DVD burner to buy? We're having a kid soon, so we just bought a camcorder and will be looking to burn the tapes to DVD. It has to be external to hook up with my laptop, but that's about the only requirement. I was thinking about this Plextor, as cnet seems to like it, but I'm open to ideas. Jay? Brad? Anyone else?

Pittsburgh Life, Part 1

In order to get ready for the upcoming NFL season, I'm starting an infrequent seeries looking at the city of Pittsburgh and its people. I'll be posting articles that show the inspiring, hardworking, and caring side of the citizens of that fine city.

The first article shows how a coach of a T-ball team deals with one of his players being disabled. Very touching and caring.

More to come in the future!

Political Scandals

Eric's rule of thumb is that if a scandal can be well defined to the average person on the street, then it has legs and will cause problems.

When I say...
Watergate?
Iran-Contra?
Monica?

almost everyone can at least explain the scandal in 30 words or less.

The current Karl Rove flap does not fit this criteria. Honestly, I'm trying to understand and view in a non-partisan way, but I just can't wrap my mind around it.

Can anyone explain to me in 30 words or less what the big deal is and why some are asking Karl Rove to resign? This is not a sarcastic request - I admit, I haven't paid attention and would like to know if it is truly a big deal.

Playing Center for the 1989 Sacramento Kings....

The best thing about living in a college town is that you never know what alumni you will see in the news.

Take this aricle, for instance....

No offense, but does this define the word pathetic, or what?

And after re-reading the article, I now realize I know the lawyer/former business partner listed in the article as a fellow tournament golfer.

Need assistance

Up at my old place without an alarm clock. Need a wake up call at 7:00am Pacific. Anyone who reads this tomorrow on the East Coast and can help a brother out, please call me on my cell.

"Watching Billy work is a big part of the joy of being an A's fan in this era. Let's see what's next."

The trade of Bradford for Payton makes no sense on many different levels:

• We had to bring Bradford off the DL, so now we have 26 active players. Someone is going to have to go down to the ML either today or tomorrow morning. Who will it be?
  
• We already have a crowded OF. Keilty, Kotsay, and Swisher with Brynes platooning. Now we add someone else? And this additional person has already been complaining about the lack of playing time.
  
• Bradford was a key part of our bullpen during the last 4 years and it sucks letting him go. I do agree with Blez from Athletics Nation stating that Duke, Street, and Calero are all better than Bradford now, so its not like he was going to be a 7-8-9 inning guy.
  

This is why everyone thinks something big is coming. Duarzo and Brynes to the Yanks is the most common tune I have been hearing recently. Brynes playing CF for the Yanks might be one of the most amazing things to watch, just to see how the crazy the fans would go on every single error he will make.

Once again, this is part of the fun in being an A's fan!!!!

Update: Byrnes and ML SS prospect Quintenella go to the Rockies for Kennedy and Witasick. Now this further hampers our roster situation. Who is going to the minors?

IT Guys

We have been working with an Actuarial Consultant to overhaul a certain portion of our business so that we can get rid of a software product that is costing us $250,000 a month in licensing fees. I have worked closely with the guy and the product is solid. He is an older Indian guy who I surprisingly have a good time when we go out to dinner. He is back out here today for a detailed product presentation to our Capital Appropriation Committee, and he brings this IT guy, who I assume is handling all of the hard programming and server design. Now this guy takes the cake for IT guys. I have actually become accustom to the fat and sloppy IT guys and find that these guys usually have a good personality. This guy on the other hand is dressed in a black suit with brown hush puppies, with his black hair slicked back into a pony tail (think Steve Seagal) with a Native Indian turquoise bracelet to top it off. He also weighs about 120 pounds and has black horned rim glass. He comes off like Phillip Seymour Hoffman in The Talented Mr. Ripley. Now I have to go out to dinner with him and others tonight. This should be entertaining. Should I even attempt to have a normal conversation with him or just go straight to talking to him in binary code. I'm sure we will end up at a strip bar tonight and it will get weird.

Dentist

Went to the Dentist today. Haven't been in 8 years. The Dental Assistant was so unbelievably cute (an easy 10, since I'm a sucker for a girl in any kind of uniform) that when she asked me why I haven't been to the dentist in 8 years, I lied to her and told her I was in Europe and I didn't trust them over there. She seemed to buy into it, but the Dentist didn't. He asked me where I was at in Europe and I said Zurich (since I know some of the information on the town), and he said that they had a better dental system than the states. The DA stayed in the room with us for the entire consultation, which sucked since the Dentist put up pictures (not X-Rays, but pictures) of my 3 cavities and my gums up on a 36 inch TV.

After the consult, the DA took me out to schedule when I'll have all my work completed and she kept on touching my arm and smiling at me, and I made such a bad joke and she couldn't stop laughing at it. So, do you think that I should ask her out on Friday when I go back to the Dentist when I get all my work done?

Quick Thoughts

Hate to write when Eric posts, but I'm stuck up at my old place without a TV or radio, so I have to kill some time before I go to sleep on the floor. Just some quick thoughts from the last several days....

Started up my Kaplan course for my GMATS. Man, why didn't I take this right after school? Jesus, this is going to be tough. I walk into this class at 6:00pm, after only getting 2 hours of sleep the night before, and then spending all day going over our Accident Year Incurreds and see that its me, 6 Asian girls that I swear were my Pai Gow dealers at the Monte last year, and a couple of young Lindsays and Chelsies scattered throughout the class. I'm honestly shocked that these girls are old enough to study for the GMAT. Was called sir twice. No lie. Once by Lindsay who needed to borrow a pen, and once by the freakin teacher. Then realized that we were actually taking the Math and Verbal parts that night. So the math section kicked my ass to my surprise. Out of 37 questions, I only could answer 24, with the only one that I know that I got correct was an algebra equation that I use when I need to know how much money it will cost me on a trifecta box when using 4 horses. Before you start ripping me on this, I was fairly OK in math. Was in honors Math in high school, and did fairly well in Calc in college. I'm a finance major and now oversee $1.6 billion in reserves, and I do a very good job at it, but for the life of me, I could not figure out what to do with fractions over fractions when solving for x. Once I get into the class a little more, I'll post some of the problems. Oh, and the Verbal section was easy.

Was back East last week. Check out the pictures from our game on the Hereford Nine site. Everyone had their cameras out, so I'm a little surprised we only got 4 pictures. Anyway, here are some thoughts I had about this last visit:

• I hate the weather there. Don't know why people put up with the humidity in the summer and then the harsh cold in the winter. I did it for so long and now I'm so confused on why others do. I forgot how it felt to be soaking wet at 8:00am on the putting green.
  
• Friends: I'll elaborate on this more in another section, but I'm extremely lucky to have the friends that I do. I hate going back to MD now because I can't see everyone. I want to spend as much time as I can with my family and everyone, but it is near impossible to see everyone. And if you try, its like you are at work and have a tight schedule to follow. I had a rough couple of days at work and the last thing I wanted was to be flying all over the place. People who I regret not seeing last time home are Chuck, Gene, Ron and Heidi, Kevin, Tim and Todd, and Ray.
  

Opening day at Del Mar tomorrow. Was supposed to meet Ron and his brother out there, but I was called up to LA for meetings which sucks.

Ever come across a picture of your ex that pisses you off so much you just naturally yell out "Fuck that" and have to walk away from it like it poison ivy?

Just dropping this thought out there, but who is up for Vegas in November? Eric and Lee, I'm looking in your direction. Jay????

Golf with Bob Wickman

Golf update:

1) Finished 2 shots out of the money at the Iowa Masters. Rounds of 80-73 put me on the cut line as I advanced on the number, and a Sunday 76 helped me to pass a few players, but I ended up tied for 47th where the top 40 was paid. I guess I should have started the tournament par-double-double.

2) We had the Iowa State Amateur Qualifier on Monday - 49 golfers for 34 spots. With those odds, the strategy is clear - don't make any big numbers, shoot 78 and things should be OK.
So I went into my classic "Pat Buchanan" golfing mode - ultra, ultra conservative - relying on my putting. My strategy for each hole during the round: "Just get me to the green, where I can 2-putt from anywhere". My putter is my Bob Wickman. It's not flashy, but it's effective.
1st hole - hooked drive, 5-iron hook-punch on the green to 70 feet - and Wickman closes the deal with a 2-putt par. The young flat-belly in the group hit driver, 9-iron to 12 feet above the hole, and 3 jacked. A good feeling.

Wickman must have had some bad mexican food before the 3rd hole, where he 4-putted for triple (don't ask) - so then we went into ultra-ultra conservative mode (like Alan Keyes). Every hole my thought was to get to Wickman. Get on the green, and trust the putter.

Bottom line: Wickman was 11-13 in save situations; I shoot 79 and made it by 3. Off to the state Am on July 25-27.

License needed for ATM usage

When you're in a hurry and you have to get money from an ATM - you know what happens next.

The car in front of you is a 1979 Chevy Caprice, loaded with Burger King wrappers and bags in the back;
The lady driving (I'm sorry, but it's true) doesn't pull up close enough to the ATM - she tries about 3 or 4 times, but nope, can't reach the ATM;
She opens her door to use the ATM, but then realizes she can't find her card;
She mis-punches the buttons once (usually twice) and has to re-enter the code again and again...

and so on. A 30 second that operation takes 5 minutes, a precious 5 minutes when it's 4:15 and you are trying to make a 4:19 tee time.

Banks need to hand out ATM cards like driver's licenses. You need to take a driving test to use one. If you can
- use the ATM with your doors shut
- find your card within 15 seconds
- enter in the type of transaction, PIN, and amount in 30 seconds,
- go from withdrawal of money to engaging the car in "drive" in 30 seconds

then you get a card. If not - too bad. Go inside and do your business.

Bathroom Reads

Top Ten Bathroom reads.

1. Bill Simmons Article: Used to be the highlight of my day when he was turning out top notch articles, but now he is slipping and I usually end up getting pissed off if he is writing about baseball. But those legendary 10 page articles back in 1998-2000 were legendary.
2. Peter Gammons Article: Still solid stuff for a quick bathroom read, even if 90% of the stuff is false.
3. Tony Kornheiser-I'm back for more Cash: Used to love his articles at work, but his book is a standard in my bathroom. My legs have gone numb because I can't put down his book.
4. Oakland A's-2004 Guide: Great in depth bios on every single A's player all the way down to the rookie league. Also includes every trade ever made. Never gets old for me.
5. 2000 USA Today Baseball Year in Review: Nothing like combing over the stats 5 years ago and realizing that Greg Vaughn was one of the highest paid players that year. Great College and High School section, which is great to read to see if any of the top players made it to the big leagues.
6. Howard Stern-Private Parts: Perfect for your home bathroom. Quick and funny stories.
7. HardballTimes: This site might of been created for the business man's morning bathroom break. At least two new articles per morning, plus a recap on all the stats from the prior day. Printing out these articles in the morning is right behind getting coffee and putting on a new patch.
8. SuperSystem: I make sure that I brush up on this book at least once to twice a week. Keeps everything fresh in your head pertaining to poker.
9. World Almanac: I still haven't finished the 2003 version. Provides an insane amount of useless information.
10. Peter King: This was part of my Monday morning ritual, but now that I can't print out the entire article at once, I am now boycotting this site.

Brett Boone's a bitch

A couple of thoughts after a stressful move, but then a relaxing weekend at the beach with no TV.

I've always hated Brett Boone with a passion. Maybe it was the short sleeves with the bulging biceps, or it was the roid use, or it was the fucking bat flips after his home runs. He is my single most hated player. Paul Katcher, who I have been quoting a lot recently, sums up his retirement speech: "There's something about a grown man with frosted hair crying his eyes out that screams hilarity." Once again I hate him and I'm glad he is gone.

Also, there is nothing quite like living at the beach and working from home. Waking up on a work day, and instead of commuting to work, you go for a run on the beach puts a lot of things in perspective. Despite the beach, I'll discuss the major issues with Orange County later this week.

Trade Rumors

Eventhough I think that Gammons should be writing for the National Enquirer and not ESPN, his trade rumor involving the Sox and the A's make sense. Payton for either Rincon or Bradford. With the A's recent issues with resigning Kotsay, I could see us grabbing Payton for CF and then moving Kotsay to the Yanks for Wang and company. No one on the A's right now, either on the team or in AAA, can play center, so this trade does make sense. I like Bradford, but he is starting to show signs of age, and I have always disliked Rincon.

Hard Rock / Palms Review

Hard Rock / Palms

While I've been to the Hard Rock numerous times, I've never been to the Palms. But in true Mitch Albom style, I'm going to just make up everything about the Palm. No, actually I'm only going to talk about the HRH, but I feel like they are the same type of hotel so anything about the HRH applies pretty closely to the Palms.

-The Scene
Clearly, the Hard Rock's strong point and will be addressed by the two major categories: celebrities and non-celebrities (the unwashed masses).

Non-celebs: There are few better places to go when it comes to amazingly hot chicks. It's funny, because you can tell that even the straight-laced chicks get a little crazy/slutty when they come here. Probably one of the best places to stand is in line for the bathroom where you can just watch the ladies walk by. The HRH is known around the country as THE place to go for a bachelor/bachelorette party and it shows. The amount of skin showing on the average Friday/Saturday night would make Hugh Hefner blush. (OK, that's a stretch, but you get the idea.)

Celebs: Recently known as where Paris & Nicole Hilton stay when they are on the strip. I was recently out there for a bachelor party and a friend was moved from his suite because it was Nicky's birthday party and they had reserved the entire floor. Of course, not all celebs are the same. During the same weekend, I saw Frankie Muniz (Malcolm, of Malcolm in the Middle fame) at the pool. All I can say is: worst...entourage...ever.

-The Gaming
Gaming at the HRH is generally hated amongst gamblers. The people are too stupid, too drunk and too busy fixing their hair (and that's just the guys). The gaming floor is 75% blackjack because the people here are generally too stupid to figure out anything else. You want a guy to stand on 14 against the dealer's face card? The HRH is the place for you. You want a chick to hit on 17 because she had a "hunch"? We got 'em lined up. If you get on a good roll in craps it can be hard to sustain because everyone's too stupid to know what to bet on and how to get their bets in on time.
However, because the clientele are limited when it comes to gaming, there opportunity for comps are better. While I'm sure that the HRH gets it' share of bigger players, most of the people who I know believe that they receive better treatment here than they would otherwise receive. That and they generally have better things to offer. The friend who had his room moved to accommodate Nicky's birthday bash received VIP entry and a table at her birthday party for four people. That's something that you're not going to get at the "All Suites" Rio...

-The Dealers
Usually young and good looking. Sometimes they even know what they are doing. Usually I spend almost as much energy watching them to make sure they don't make mistakes as I do with anything else. Not why I'm there.

-Sports Book
Almost non-existent. It's probably about the same size as the gift shop, but has less TVs. Again, not one of my favorite aspects of the HRH.

-Other (Pool, Shows, Clubs, etc)
The other strong point of the HRH. As I mentioned in the Mirage post, the HRH stocks it's pool with strippers and models. They often fly out from LA on the weekends to stay at the HRH and work at the various "gentlemen's clubs". They actually have something that looks like an elevated bed that are reserved for these "ladies" that serves to put them up for public viewing. I'd like to personally thank whoever was responsible for that one.

The HRH has a couple of clubs and restaurants, all of which are above average in my opinion. Mr. Lucky's, the 24-hr eats place is exactly what you need in a place like this. California-style diner food, it's great for 4am "dining". Nobu, the Vegas branch of the NYC sushi place is just as good as it's east coast companion (from what I hear) and similarly as expensive (typically ~$250/person). There is the compulsory steak house, the Italian place, and the casual Tex-Mex place (Pink Taco). All are acceptable, if not memorable.

The clubs are pretty good as well. The HRH gets pretty good acts to come through to it's club, The Joint. Notables include Metallica, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, David Bowie, Erykah Badu, Kid Rock, and others. It holds 1,400 and often spills out onto the main gaming floor.

In summary, the HRH hits what it's aiming for. If you are looking for the party scene, there are few better places. If you are looking to gamble, there are few worse.


NEXT EPISODE: Monte Carlo and New York, New York

Corrupting your child with bad music

So I'm taking Freddie home from pre-school, and I have Sirius 7 on - the 70s. I start singing "Rock the Boat" and try to get him to sing along. He's heard this song before.

Well, instead of singing, he asks in all seriousness:

"When are they going to play "Burn, Baby, Burn", Dad?"

(Of course, that's not the name of the song - but I would guess that most of you know what it is: "Disco Inferno")

All right! No Pink, or P Diddy, or even Christina for my boy. He's learning the classics!

Golf Update

1. Off to Ames we go for the 68th Iowa Masters. Scoring updates should be found here.

2. What's the difference between Iowa and Ohio?
Qualifiers for the Ohio State Amateur tournament: around 80 poeple for 20 spots
Qualifiers for the Iowa State Amateur tornament: 50 people for 35 spots
Qualifier is Monday.

3. A friend of mine at the plant has a son who plays golf collegiately. Well, he did qualify for the US Amatuer Public Links next week , and they're off to Cincinnati to face off with Michelle Wie and the others. Jordan Dye is his name,and he tees off at 1:20, I believe, on Monday, and live updates can be found at usapl.org

Wrinkles and Flapjacks

Why is all the good soft porn on Cinemax? Showtime and The Movie Channel have 80s porn while HBO is putting out just some God awful shit. First they had Real Sex, and then teased us with G-String Divas, and no there is Cathouse? I know I like crap TV, but 45-60 year old women talking about masterbation should not be on TV at anytime of the day.

Which brings me to another question? When is the cut-off age for women wearing lingerie? Jon went with 35 years old, while I went in the other direction at 65. I'm a big fan of the old lady cleavage.

Who am I? Why am I here?

Please join me in a moment of silence in remembering a true American who passed away this week, Adm. James Stockdale. Adm. Stockdale was 81.

Most people of our age remember his as Ross Perot's runnng mate in 1992. Those of us who supported Perot were honored that a true patriot like Adm. Stockdale would join the ticket.

His performance in that debate with Al Gore and Dan Quayle was surely not polished, but it offered a glimpse into a clear-thinking and unpretnetious mind - two traits sorely lacking in today's politics. Aside from the cringe-inducing first 2 minutes, Adm. Stockdale's best moment was when the moderator (Brokaw?) asked about his stance on abortion. He had 90 seconds for his answer

"I believe in a woman's right to choose. Period."

He stopped talking, and this stunned Brokaw. "Uh, anything else you want to add, Adm. Stockdale?"

"No."

It was refreshing to hear political candidates answer a question and aviod turning a question about the national debt into foriegn policy, or jobs, or character.

So - if you are drinking this weekend, raise your glass and proclaim proudly: "Who am I? Why am I here?" in honor of the man who should have been our 45th Vice President.

Need your opinion

If the fertilizer bag says "Apply in late Spring - April to June", and the bag is still sitting in your garage on July 7 - would it do any good to apply it now?

I mean, this is Iowa - it's practically Canada! So early July could be considered late Spring....

Coors Field

Is it just me or is the obvious answer to this question, move the fences back? Why bother with all of this other analysis? If you are hitting 10% more homers at home, then move the fences back by 10%. Am I overlooking anything here? Then just get a speedy outfield of Alex Cole, Brian McRae, and Luis Polonia and all your problems are solved.

Finally.....

With the impending move and my agreement with my boss to be up in LA 3 days a week, I will be getting Tivo and XM Radio. Tough decision on XM over Sirus, but baseball overrules football and Stern.

UM Football

Looks like the Terps grabbed a solid QB for next year out of PA. According to some sources he is the number one QB in the nation. The below source only rates him a 3 star prospect.


http://scout.scout.com/a.z?s=15&p=8&c=1&nid=1578730

Moving Sucks

Ugh. I can't wait to finally get down to the OC and relax. I have a bunch of shit to post about my trip back to Baltimore and the A's finally hitting .500, but it will have to wait until this weekend. If you are bored, the final part of the Beane interview has been posted on Athletics Nation and Hardballtimes has a couple of good articles today as well.

What would you do?

If you are in a rest area, and there is one of those "family bathrooms", and inside you hear a 4-year old screaming at the top of his lungs - "NEVER!!!", and two adults are in there trying to shush him up, well, what would you do?

I'm glad no one called the police on us. Freddie hates those automatic flushing toilets - so much so that he refused to go on them. Of course, the one rest area we pull into has nothing but the automatic toilets.

We get him on there - Janice holding one arm and trying to swat Warren away, and me holding the other arm and holding the sensor so that it doesn't flush. Of course, my hand slips and I hit the manual flush button as Freddie is still on the toilet.

"FWOOSH!!!" .... "AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

We try to get him back on there - that's the "NEVER" part. After about 3-4 minutes, we calm him down and he goes.

When we opened the door, I expected to see 3 state troopers there. But gladly no one was waiting outside with handcuffs.

I Hate Best Buy

How come whenever I'm there just browsing around, 7 salespeople all come up to me, breathlessly saying: "Can I help you find anything? Anything? I'm here to help!"

And yet when I need something I can't find, no one is to be found - and they seem to actively turn away as you approach them.

And then there is the guy at the register... making small talk with me. "Hi there! Speakers, huh? Going to play some tunes on your PC?"

No, dipwad, this is so I can hear Elmo when my kids play games.

He's acting like he wants to be my best friend, making all that conversation. He then tries to sell me on those 2-year warranties. Yeah, like I want a 2-year warranty for my cheap $29 pair of speakers.

More incessant talking. Then, of course, he asks for my phone number. That's just creepy.

I want to take a shower when I leave that place.